The Courtney Gray Podcast
The Courtney Gray Podcast
"What if This Works?" Asking Yourself Better Questions
The quality of our life is determined by the quality of our thoughts and questions we ask ourselves.
I had the great pleasure of being coached by Brooke Castillo last week and it was a game changer for me.
I am sharing a sneaky question I have been asking myself this year that has slowed me down....and helping you to ask yourself questions that help you, no hinder you.
HERE is the link to sign up for my next Free Masterclass- Get Control Over Your Eating
Want to speak with me directly? Schedule a consultation with me HERE
Courtney
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I work 1:1 with women to lose weight permanently, using mindset and strategy. My process is exciting, life changing, and empowering. Join me!
I have 2 bits of Exciting News! I have a NEW podcast called Modern Body Modern Life....here is the link to Listen...
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/welcome-to-the-first-episode/id1720478442?i=1000637985103
And Enrollment is NOW OPEN for my March Group Program, click HERE to find all the details,
Courtney
Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women who are ready to lose weight permanently, and love their body love the way they feel. And look, I'm going to teach you how to stop overeating and obsessing about food and your weight, so you can be more confident and empowered to then create an even bigger life. I'm life and body coach Courtney Gray. And each week, I'm going to be teaching you how losing and maintaining your ideal weight can be so much easier than it's been in the past. And by taking care of you and achieving your health goals. You will live in even more amazing life than the one you have lived so far. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast episode 97. What if this works, asking yourself better questions. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I truly did have a wonderful Thanksgiving. We went to my parents house. It was fun. We do a white elephant which is so fun. And then we play aggressive Pictionary. My team won in fact, I'm, I named myself the VIP of that Pictionary game. I was amazing on the board drawing and in the audience guessing I was the MVP. I've decided of the day. But my team won very exciting. So I hope you also had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It is the last chance for you to sign up for my masterclass which is going to be this Thursday, where I will be teaching you live how to get control of your eating. This is for women who feel like they know what to do they know what to eat. They keep saying I know, I know, I know. But they're just not doing it. They don't know how to get themselves to follow through and eat the way they know. They will be so much happier eating, they know that they would lose weight, they would feel better. They'd be in the body that they want all the things they know life would be better if they could just get in control of their eating. That's what I'm going to be talking about. In this live masterclass, I'm going to be live, it's going to be 30 minutes, because it is a busy time of year. And it's not the time for a one hour or two hour masterclass at this point. So it's going to be 30 minutes. And my hope for you is that when you come live, most everyone who comes live stays the whole time. But you will be there the whole time. If you don't come live, if you just watch the replay, you will watch the whole thing. I'm going to talk about why you're doing what you're doing now. And I'm going to teach you my three steps to how to get control of your eating. So you will feel powerful in that moment. When you all of a sudden the waiter comes up and looks at you and says and what would you like you feel in control. When someone says oh hey, I brought you a mocha. And you weren't planning on drinking a mocha you feel in control and in to make a good decision. In every moment of your day you feel like you are in control over your eating it is a beautiful place to be and I want you to be there. So sign up for that there is a link in my bio to sign up for that. And you know what else is the bonus? When you sign up for my free masterclass, you're going to be put on my email list. My email list is amazing. I really treat my email list. Like my VIPs they get videos that I don't do for other people, I don't even post on social media, they get two to three really well thought out emails I spend at least probably an hour to an hour and a half on the emails for my email list to motivate and inspire them every week. People on my email list are the first to hear about any offerings, any new programs, any new masterclasses any new anything. And also, if you are interested in getting the behind the scenes to my new podcast that is coming, I'm going to be telling my email list first I'm going to actually start doing not every week, but I'm going to start doing like a Sunday Morning Coffee Chat video that I send to my email list where I tell them kind of the behind the scenes and the first behind the scenes I'm going to be doing a video about is what is coming all the fun details of my new podcast. So join my email list so many different ways again, you can sign up for my workshop. Or if you head to Courtney Gray coaching.com There is a pop up that you'll see when you go there. And it is a kickstart your weight loss to do list if you if you click on that you'll also be put on my email list and you'll get all the juicy details of the new podcast that is coming very soon. So let's dive into what I'm going to be talking about today. What if this works asking yourself better questions. A few weeks ago, I had the amazing opportunity to be coached by Brooke Castillo for like 25 minutes. Now if you don't know who Brooke Castillo is, she is the owner of The Life Coach School and I got certified as a life coach at The Life Coach School. I when I was growing up and I was in college, I listened to you know, Tony Robbins and Jack Canfield and Maya Angelou and so many of the thought leaders that are into self development, but Brooke Castillo was the one that really really changed my life because I found her podcast and I listened to it for a few months. Before I joined her Scholars Program, which was a monthly program, where you got to really dive into everything I teach you here really is how to really understand how our thoughts create our results in our lives. And that proved to positively affect so many areas of my life, I made more money I got in control around my eating, I, my marriage got even stronger, my parenting certainly got stronger. That's when I eventually ended up becoming a coach in Brooke Castillo is program. And so now, once a month, there is the opportunity to get coached by either Brooke or one of her coaches. And so I signed up to get coach and you kind of go into these calls, there's like anywhere from 600 to 1000 1000s of people on this call, and you go into this call, not knowing if you're gonna get called on. So I wrote in that I wanted to be coached, I got called on and it was an amazing 25 minute call. That's really rare in this program. Usually, so many people write in that she chooses, like four to five people. And throughout the hour, she'll coach 45 People will only two of us wrote in. So I got coach for 25 minutes, it was absolutely the most amazing thing. In fact, I'll tell you how amazing it was that when I told my other friends after I got coached by Brooke when I messaged my girlfriends, that are also life coaches from The Life Coach School. And he said, Oh my god, I just got coached by Brooke for 25 minutes. They're like, stop it, what's happening? What is happening? How is that possible? It was an amazing opportunity. And so what happened was, I was again, only two of us wrote in and even asked a question. So we both got chosen, this other woman got chosen, and I was the second one to be coached. And I can honestly say it was a pivotal moment in my life, not even just in my business. I know someday, I'm going to look back at this coaching from her and be like, that was a game changer. And so of everything we coached on it was a business call. So we coached on my business, my coaching business, and specifically what I went to her with is, you know, I'm still doing my jewelry, but I'm really trying to more and more and more back off of the jewelry and really go even more all in on my coaching business. And I'm scared. And so the whole call was around that. But of everything we coached on, I want to talk about the one thing that exploded my mind and that you that I want to teach you because I want you to be able to apply this for your life is asking myself some better questions. And this is the power of coaching. I had no idea what was really getting in my way. I had no idea that this question that I was asking myself was getting in my way until she brought it to my attention. And here's what I will tell you, the quality of our life is determined by the quality of the thoughts, including questions that we ask ourselves, what we focus on in our life grows. So if we're focusing on thoughts and questions that that are not serving us, that's what is going to grow. So I've talked about this before on the podcast, how I'm focusing my time and energy on my coaching business, and I'm slowing my jewelry business down. And I'm in I'm leaving it behind in a sense, and it is scary. And it's been working, I have more than doubled my revenue and my coaching business this year over last year is going so well. Despite the fact that I have really been asking myself a question that has not been helping me. So the question that Brooke helped me uncover that has not been serving me is what if this doesn't work? So the circumstances I want to go all in on my coaching business. I feel like I have been doing so much work on my coaching business. Most people would say I've gone all in, but I'm still kind of, I have my toe in my jewelry business still. And the reason I do is because I keep saying to myself, What if this doesn't work? And when I'm saying that to myself, I feel scared. I feel insecure. I feel confused, for sure. And I feel worried. Remember, our feelings affect the action that we're taking. It affects how we're showing up in our life. It affects what we're doing the action we're taking, when I'm scared, insecure, confused and worried. Because I'm telling myself asking myself what if this doesn't work, I'm not going all in on my coaching. I'm doing a lot. But I'm not going all in. I'm holding back. I'm continuing to do the jewelry business, even though I no longer want to do it. Even though I love what I built, I no longer want to do it and I keep doing it. Because I'm telling myself What if this plan doesn't work. Also when I'm feeling scared, insecure, confused, worried. I'm doing things from fear instead of feeling the fear and doing something I really want to do with courage. Let me say that again because it's a slight shift. Because you know I talk all the time about being willing to feel fear and do something anyways right but this is different. I've been doing my jewelry business continuing to do it because of the fear Instead of feeling the fear of wanting to go more all in on my coaching and give up the jewelry, because I want to do it, and wanting to feel courage and doing it anyways. So it's like I've been feeling fear, and continuing to do a business I don't want to do instead of feeling fear and doing the business I want to do, it's just a slight shift. I've also been consistently finding reasons to keep doing the old business, right? When I'm telling myself What if this doesn't work, and then I feel scared, and insecure and confused. I'm like, oh, let's just keep making jewelry. Because that feels safer. And in the end, all these different actions I'm taking from feeling scared, insecure, and being confused and worried. The result I'm creating in my life is I'm delaying more success in my coaching business, I am delaying taking off even more than it has. And I say this with no regret. But I think, wow, in my coaching business this year, I've more than doubled what I made last year in my coaching business. That's kind of amazing, since I've had this shitty thought, what if this doesn't work? And I've been building my business feeling scared and insecure and confused? What if I was willing to let all that go. And if we think back to what I've been teaching you about how this is going to be hard either way, right? Life is going to be hard either way, business is going to be hard either way, eating healthy and taking care of your body, it's all going to be hard kind of either way. Because life is hard. We know this. But I've been choosing to have my version of hard be playing small, I've been putting my discomfort into continuing to do something I don't want to do. Because it seemed too hard to go all in on something I do want to do. So if we know the quality of our life is determined by the qualities of thoughts and questions we ask ourselves, we need to ask ourselves better questions. We need to think better thoughts on purpose? Because what we focus on grows? And if we focus on a negative question like what if the what if this doesn't work, we are going to be spinning in those insecure, scared feelings. And let me tell you, I'm pretty proud of myself, that I have done so well this year, despite having some shitty thoughts along the way. I feel like I am very good at thinking intentionally. And this one slipped by me. And I've created a pretty amazing business so far. But imagine what I'm going to create in 2024. Now that I am going to be asking myself a better question. The question Brooke suggested I asked myself, which is not only brilliant, but so obvious and simple. What am I going to do if this works? What will my life be like when this works? How will I feel when this works? That call I was very emotional. I've told you before on this podcast that when my clients come to me when my when people come to me on consults, and then when my clients come to me week by week, often they get very emotional and I cried on this podcast to work a steal in front of I think there were about six or 700 people on the call. And I said this feels so much scarier than it should feel. And she was so cute. And she laughed at me. She goes, this is so much bigger than anything you've ever done. Of course it is. It is the reason to do it. She said to me, I had been spending so much time this year, even though again, I feel like I'm pretty intentional. I feel like I'm jiving at a high beautiful level. But when I really think back, I had been spending so much time in the worry of my plan of this not working my plan of saying jewelry business. You've been amazing. I'm so proud of you. But it's time for me to build my other business. I've been so worried. Can you imagine what is possible for me in 2024 when I let go of that, and I asked myself some better questions. I'm taking a moment to tell you that I work privately one on one with women to help them lose weight permanently in create a body they love. This is not a diet program. This is a customized program to teach you how to eat the way you want to eat forever. No more restriction, no more willpower, no more losing weight only to sabotage and then gain it back again. The problem is not you We women are so hard on ourselves when we think if we could just get motivated or more determined if we could find the right diet plan or cut out certain foods we will lose weight and be happy. But the answer is changing your brain and how you think and feel. Changing your self image and how you talk to yourself. Learning how to trust yourself. This is how you lose weight permanently. It sounds too good to be true, but I promise you it's not. The work I do with my clients is powerful, exciting and loving edits. hard work to but the result is change forever. The women I work with are smart and successful in so many areas of their life, they just haven't been able to figure out their body. This is where I come in, head to my website to schedule a consultation, and we can talk about all the details back to the podcast. If you go back, there's another podcast, I want to suggest you listen to episode 53. It's called Are you trying to win or trying not to lose? It was an awesome episode. It wasn't one of my most popular ones. But I suggest you listen, it was pretty awesome. I haven't been trying to win. And I didn't even know it until this call with Brooke. It's a totally different energy. There's a total different focus when you try to win as opposed to trying to not lose. So let's talk about how you can ask yourself some better questions. And when I say questions, first of all, you might be saying to yourself, I don't even know the questions I'm asking myself, it could just be a thought. Can you identify some questions or thoughts? You're currently asking yourself? Now? It doesn't have to be in the form of a question. It just could be a thought and we can turn it into a powerful question. For example, you might have a thought I'm just going to be this way wouldn't. And these are all going to go back to your body and your life and what you're capable of right? If your thought is I'm just going to be this way. Right? Like you've maybe you've tried diet after diet after diet, and you're just like you're done. But there's still a part of you, that is a little bit hopeful, or desires to lose weight and get in the best shape ever. But you have this thought I'm just going to be this way. What if you change that to? What if I can change? Every time you have that thought I'm I'm just going to be this way? Or what if I'm just going to be this way? What if I'm just meant to be this way? What if you could change that to? What if I can change? How might that? Have you act differently? feel differently and act differently as you go about your day? Or what if your thought is I don't have time for my body and my health? So many people say that to me, I don't have time for my body and my health. It's probably what the number one excuse why someone doesn't schedule a consult with me. They kind of think Oh, after this after this the beginning of the year, oh, after Christmas vacation, oh, after the new year after summer vacation, right? We don't have time for my body, my health? What if your thought instead is or your question to yourself is what if this is the perfect time for me? This also can be really helpful. If you have an age objection. Like if you think I'm just at that age, or I can't do it anymore, or I'm in menopause, or my body's betraying me any of those crappy thoughts? Can we turn those into, I can actually find some evidence out there that there are some women killing it in the health department at my age, they're out there. Even if you just go on Instagram, it's one of the one of the good things about Instagram, as you can see a lot of women that look and are in amazing shape and feeling amazing at any age. So a better question from I don't have time for my body and my health could be what if this is the perfect time for me? Or what if this is more important than anything right now? What if my health and my desire to look and feel a certain way is more important than anything? What if this is my time? How would you go about your day? If you asked yourself that question and answered it and felt the answer of that question, or why can I control myself around food? A lot of people ask themselves that question, why can I control myself on food? What is wrong with me? What if we could switch that too? would if I could learn to control myself around food? Like what if I could learn? Maybe I just have never been taught? Maybe Courtney's right? Maybe no, none of the diets really taught me this? What if she's right? There's another one? Or what if I could do things totally differently? What if I could change? And if you feel stuck trying to figure out what questions are getting in the way? Try to find maybe it's not even a question. You're asking yourself, maybe it's a thought. And it's so interesting. If I think back when I first said that to her, what if this doesn't work? Because I told her I said I feel nervous, I feel scared. And she said Why? And I was like, I don't know why choose why? And I said, Well, what if this doesn't work? It sounds so harmless. It sounds like such a harmless thought. But when I feel that way, because it makes me feel fear. And because it makes me feel insecure. All of the action I was taking for both businesses was coming from fear and insecurity and confusion. And that's how we create the results in our lives by the action we are taking every day or not taking every day. So every single morning now I am waking up and I'm saying what am I going to do when this works? How is this working right now? What else could I do that would make this happen and work even faster? How exciting is it going to be how am I going to feel when this works? What do we what is our life gonna look like when this works? I feel inspired, I feel excited, I feel powerful, completely different. It is amazing. That change that can happen when you ask yourself a more powerful, better question. When you ask yourself a powerful question, you get a powerful answer. When you ask yourself a shitty question like, What if this doesn't work? You get a shitty answer. So the first step, as always, is really identifying where you're at now, identifying the thoughts and the questions that are producing the results in your life now, and if your results are not where you want them to be, and when I say results, I mean, if you are walking around in a body that you're not loving, if you are looking at your job, and you're like, I'm not loving my job, if you're looking at relationships, it's just relationships and you're not really liking where you're at. Take some ownership, how is it possible that your thoughts or the questions you're asking yourself are creating that? Because the way we think our thoughts, the questions we ask ourself, they make us feel a certain way. And that feeling directly impacts what we do or don't do, which directly impacts the results we create in our life. I hope this was a powerful one for you. It was an amazing and amazing opportunity to be coached by her. And it makes me even more excited for this new podcast. Even more excited for 2024. I hope you'll join me by getting on my email list. If you love my podcast, you have to be on my email list. It's powerful. Have a great Tuesday. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently, if you have tried diets and you know they don't work and you're ready for real change. I would love to have a conversation with you. I coach women privately one on one, and I'm currently offering consultations to talk about working together. click my link in the show notes or head to Courtney Gray coaching.com Or you can find me on Instagram at Courtney Gray coaching