EP3: Kids and Money – What You Do, Not What You Say

Interview with Steve Israel / Financial Adviser, Ex-NFL Player, Lead Dad of Four

Hosted by Paul Sullivan

Talking to kids about money and financial responsibility isn’t easy. What might matter more is what your kids see you doing, not what they hear you saying. “Whatever I preached, they had to see me doing it,” said Steve Israel, who was drafted by the Los Angeles Rams and played 10 years in the NFL. He now works as a private banker and financial adviser to families.

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Transcript

00;00;00;01 - 00;00;20;11
Paul Sullivan
I'm Paul Sullivan, your host of the Company of Dads podcast, where we explore the sweet, sublime, strange and silly aspects of being a lead that in a world where men often feel they have to hide or at least not talk about their parenting, well, I know this from firsthand experience as a lead dad to my three girls, three dogs, three cats, and, somewhat remarkably, three fish who are still alive.

00;00;20;14 - 00;00;37;05
Paul Sullivan
I've done this all while managing my career and striving to be an above average husband. One thing I know for sure about being a dad is it's not a normal role. You're not doing what dads have traditionally done. Going to work and leaving the parenting to mom or someone else. Nor are you always welcome in a world where moms are the primary caregiver.

00;00;37;05 - 00;01;02;16
Paul Sullivan
But here in the company of dads, our goal is to shake all that off and focus on what really matters. Family, friendship, finance and fun. Today my guest is Steve Israel, who is the 30th pick in the 1992 NFL draft and went on to play ten seasons for the Rams, the 40 Niners, the Patriots and the Saints. He's now a private banker in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the father of four.

00;01;02;19 - 00;01;19;09
Paul Sullivan
I remember distinctly the day I met Steve, probably 7 or 8 years ago at a conference in Miami. It was at the cocktail party after day of speakers, and I noticed this guy gliding through the crowd and coming my way. At first I was jealous. How does this guy about my age move so much more athletically than me?

00;01;19;16 - 00;01;30;04
Paul Sullivan
Then Steve, in introducing himself, mentioned he played cornerback in the NFL and I felt a little bit better about myself. Steve, welcome to the Company of Dads podcast. How are you?

00;01;30;06 - 00;01;42;23
Steve Israel
Oh, it's awesome to be here, Paul. And, just want to say, man, this is such an awesome deal. And starting this company, man, you're about, ten years behind,

00;01;42;25 - 00;01;53;01
Paul Sullivan
Okay. I appreciate it. I appreciate. So we got to start with the Super Bowl. Is it safe to say, that for the Super Bowl, you're rooting for the Rams? You're going to root for your old team?

00;01;53;03 - 00;02;14;13
Steve Israel
Oh, that is so funny. Yes, of course I'm rooting for the Rams. But, that's not the number one reason that I'm rooting for the Rams because, I used to play for them. And you know, it's the team that drafted me. I'm rooting for the Rams because they have a University of Pittsburgh Panther football player. That's their captain.

00;02;14;15 - 00;02;22;01
Steve Israel
His name is Aaron Donald. And I'm you know, you always root for the guys that went to your school.

00;02;22;03 - 00;02;24;21
Paul Sullivan
And so what position does he play?

00;02;24;23 - 00;02;25;27
Steve Israel
Defensive line.

00;02;25;29 - 00;02;26;23
Paul Sullivan
Okay.

00;02;26;25 - 00;02;40;15
Steve Israel
He happens to be the best defensive lineman in the NFL. The past. I don't know, what, five years. He's. He's a stud. You'll you'll you'll see who he is. Super Bowl Sunday, you'll see a lot of number 90. Not.

00;02;40;17 - 00;02;56;01
Paul Sullivan
We've been we've been friends for a while, so we're gonna have to agree to disagree. I I'm I'm rooting for this. Yeah, I'm rooting for the Bengals and not for the quarterback. Everybody loves the quarterback. As you know, I wrote my first book was called clutch. Why some people Excel under pressure. Another. And that kicker. The kicker, that guy.

00;02;56;03 - 00;03;11;03
Paul Sullivan
Baffles me. He is like the example of a clutch player. He gets him into the championship game, he kicks him into the Super Bowl and he's 22 years old. I'm like this, this guy. I know the kicker doesn't get a lot of love. You know that for me. But he is a hell of a guy.

00;03;11;03 - 00;03;29;27
Steve Israel
He even I was I was excited for him to I, I'm just like any other day locker. We talk about this all the time. You have three daughters. I have three daughters. I have four kids. I have a son, too. But I also obviously have three daughters. And you know, when you're a dad, you like to see all those great and happy endings.

00;03;29;29 - 00;03;46;10
Steve Israel
And regardless. And you know, I want I want him to do well too. I want the Rams to win. But you know, I'm happy if they win by one point on the last play I'm fine. But the Bengals oh man what a story. What a year they've had. It's been great.

00;03;46;13 - 00;03;58;13
Paul Sullivan
Now just you know because we're friends I'm not going to put you on the spot. And ask you who you were rooting for in that game last week in between the Rams and the 40 Niners. Because you played for both those teams. I know you don't even you don't even have to answer that question. I don't want to know.

00;03;58;20 - 00;04;02;04
Paul Sullivan
It's just going to get you in trouble with your old teammates. Yeah.

00;04;02;06 - 00;04;20;24
Steve Israel
No it's not no it's not I'm not I'm fine with being put on the spot. You got to remember, I used to play cornerback like we have to be ready at all times. A cornerback is programed even after you retire. Your mindset is you always have to be ready. They could go in motion. They can go no huddle.

00;04;21;00 - 00;04;43;04
Steve Israel
Life brings motions. Life brings no huddle. You got to always be ready to adjust and always be ready on point and at the end of the day, Rams versus Niners. I got a lot of calls from different friends. Hey you play football for who you want to win the Rams. Really? Why? Because I'm no longer a player and I'm a fan.

00;04;43;09 - 00;05;13;26
Steve Israel
And I think the Rams versus the Bengals would be a better game than a Niners versus the being. Why is that? Because Jimmy G doesn't get it done throwing the ball down the field on a consistent basis. He he he's liable to to throw an interception here or there. He's proved that. Yeah. And so that's the only reason I you know I wanted to plus like I said earlier Pat Pat University Pittsburgh I love the Rams.

00;05;13;29 - 00;05;31;10
Paul Sullivan
All right so you're you got four kids and we're just talking before two our are fully launched. As we say one is coming out of college. The baby's bringing up the rear. Going to go to college next year. So. But that meant you were a dad when you were in the NFL. What was that like? What was fatherhood?

00;05;31;10 - 00;05;40;28
Paul Sullivan
How, you know, what team were you playing with when you first became, a father and talk about that experience as a, as a father and, professional football player?

00;05;41;00 - 00;06;15;14
Steve Israel
Yeah, yeah, it first of all, it was awesome and 100% unbelievable. Let me set the foundation for you. Then you'll understand what I mean. I'm from a family of five. My parents have five kids, and I'm in the dead middle. I have an older brother, an older sister than is myself. Then I have two younger brothers. And since I was a kid, like five years old, in kindergarten and always looking up to my older siblings and going on a family vacations and sitting in the back seat in between my big brother and big sister.

00;06;15;20 - 00;06;31;22
Steve Israel
And I would always look at him and I would look at my parents and, you know, the sun is shining and I'm like, man, I want to be like my dad. I'm going to marry a two pretty woman and I'm going to have a family. I knew as young as kindergarten, in first grade, in second grade that I wanted a family.

00;06;31;22 - 00;06;52;20
Steve Israel
I never forgot that. And so then when it came time for me to, you know, have a family, I knew that I wanted my first kid to be a girl. And it was. And then I wanted my second kid to be a little boy, and it wasn't. And I'm happy it wasn't because the little girl I got, oh, my goodness, she is cute.

00;06;52;20 - 00;06;56;25
Steve Israel
Just like our big sister. And it was just,

00;06;56;27 - 00;07;01;26
Paul Sullivan
And you have such a sweet nickname for this butter, right? Your seconds. Yeah, yeah. Sweet nickname.

00;07;01;28 - 00;07;28;12
Steve Israel
Yeah, yeah. My oldest daughter's name nickname was pumpkin, which got cut to a pump pump and probably in the fifth grade. She's like, look, dad, I don't want to go buy pump pump anymore. My name is Avery. I want you can can you call me Avery? And I said, yeah, Avery. Yes, I can call you Avery. And then Avery got cut to a and then when she got to high school, I don't want to go by a.

00;07;28;18 - 00;07;44;14
Steve Israel
My name is not a my name is Avery. Then that's when it truly started to go. You know Avery but Ashley that's butter. Ashley never had a problem with being called butter. I still call her butter and she has no problem with it.

00;07;44;16 - 00;08;02;14
Paul Sullivan
It's so good to see my oldest daughter. Her name is Virginia. She's in the sixth grade now, and when she was early on, we would call her Ginny. Like, you know. Virginia. Sure. And and I think, like, in pre-K, she came to us and said in a dad, mom, I really want to be called Virginia. And she was like four years old.

00;08;02;14 - 00;08;16;25
Paul Sullivan
I'm like, okay. But the nickname we have for her is Jelly Bean, because when she was in the hospital, you need the baby and half a swaddle them all up and they fit in your arm like a football. You can really fit them in your arm and hold them there. They actually look like a little jelly bean. And she she doesn't like it.

00;08;16;25 - 00;08;27;16
Paul Sullivan
And we don't ever say it outside of the house because I kind of but she's she's like, did you call me something other jelly bean is like, no, no, I'm not, I'm not going. Are you going in? When she gets called Virginia, then she knows she's in trouble.

00;08;27;18 - 00;08;34;29
Steve Israel
Oh that's funny. That's good. Every family has these nicknames stores every every family. But, so.

00;08;35;00 - 00;08;54;23
Paul Sullivan
So back to there you are in the locker room. You're playing pro ball. You're doing great. You're drafted 30th. But then you have kids, you know, and that's it. You wanted to be a dad, but surely you want to be a pro football player. And I can imagine, like during the season, those weeks when you're playing and, and up to it, I mean, you're full on you're you're not, you know, and then in the off season you got a break.

00;08;54;23 - 00;09;03;08
Paul Sullivan
But how did you balance it. How did you make it work as being the dad you want it to be and still being, you know, a great you were a great player. I mean, you like ten years. That's amazing.

00;09;03;10 - 00;09;31;04
Steve Israel
Well, it's it's it's simple. It's all about priorities. What are your priorities? And I always knew that my priorities were going to be my family. You know, it was simple. It's real easy if you're blessed to come from an awesome family. Every everybody knows, you know, you don't compare, you don't knock others. But reality is reality. You can only speak specifically when about how you grew up, what your reality was, and everyone to tell you.

00;09;31;04 - 00;09;57;01
Steve Israel
I'm not saying that, if you didn't grow up this way, then things could be tough. Now, we've seen awesome stories and awesome success stories from all walks of life. You know, kids that didn't have any parents. And they're doing awesome. We've we've heard of them. But I'm just telling you, I grew up in a very traditional, off the charts, unbelievable parents.

00;09;57;01 - 00;10;18;06
Steve Israel
My parents did everything they could do to help us and support us. And love is, and and raises. So when you come from that, you had you had a picture. Life is is about experiences. And if you grew up experiencing what it felt like for your mom and dad to support and help you in all areas of your life, social.

00;10;18;08 - 00;10;45;09
Steve Israel
Extracurricular activities, academics, and then, you're whatever religion you belong to, and they're involved in everything. Then it's simple for you now, you can easily just close your eyes and envision how do you want to do it. And you can look back of how it was done for you. And so, playing in NFL was simple. Just because I'm going to, NFL facility, I'm still going to work.

00;10;45;12 - 00;11;05;18
Steve Israel
So depending on what time I got to be there, a lot of times I was to drop off, God, for example, when I was playing for the Saints, my kids school, Saint Martins, was across the street from the Saints facility in Medford. So I used to take my kids to school a lot of dates and drop them off and then then go to work now, granite.

00;11;05;18 - 00;11;29;12
Steve Israel
When I got out of school at three, I wasn't finished. So, their mom would pick them up. But it was so much fun. And I would come home and I'm a hands on dad, so I really enjoyed doing homework. And sometimes my kids, I let them help me. I played ten years, but it was a very tough ten years.

00;11;29;12 - 00;11;50;22
Steve Israel
I was injured out of that ten years, I was injured probably four of those years. And I missed a lot of games due to injury and surgeries. And during that time, in the middle of doing homework, when my kid is going to the kitchen to get, you know, some cookies and milk for a break in between homework or we're taking a break.

00;11;50;25 - 00;12;05;03
Steve Israel
I would ask my daughter to grab my bag of ice so I can so daddy can ice his name. You know, they would participate. They sometimes they would hold the ice in place so I could wrap it with my, you know, Ashraf.

00;12;05;05 - 00;12;20;09
Paul Sullivan
But that gave them a real sense of what it was like. It wasn't just the glamor of being an NFL player. It was the reality of being an NFL player. And, you know, this is some people, you know, you go to an office and you have a bad day. You come home, you know, how do your kids understand that?

00;12;20;09 - 00;12;39;18
Paul Sullivan
You came, your office was the football field and you got injured. And it really I would think it would probably help them think about as they grew up, like remembering those stories of war warriors. It wasn't that easy. It wasn't like dad just went out and played where no work is hard. Like work is hard, even if your work happens to be, you know, glamorous.

00;12;39;18 - 00;12;42;01
Paul Sullivan
And every Sunday, you know, people are watching you play.

00;12;42;03 - 00;13;03;26
Steve Israel
I tell you one thing or one thing I'm really thankful for, and I was blessed to be able to do. And that was regardless of what happened at work. When I got in my car and went home and got out of my car to walk in my house that stayed at work or stayed in my car, and never I never brought work into my house.

00;13;03;29 - 00;13;08;06
Steve Israel
And so, that made things a lot easier.

00;13;08;08 - 00;13;15;07
Paul Sullivan
You tell me that when things went wrong at home, you didn't have a huddle. You didn't bring them all into the huddle.

00;13;15;10 - 00;13;36;09
Steve Israel
No, no, no, no, I'm talking about, like, the things that that when you had a bad practice or you're upset because you get the results back from your MRI, you realize that your cartilage is torn and it's not going to be just this three days of practice you're going to miss three weeks ago missed three games, right. And so that could be extremely upsetting.

00;13;36;12 - 00;14;01;17
Steve Israel
So instead of, you know, coming home and on, dad's quiet, why I did it I was blessed to do a good job of really isolating things. Work is work. Marriage is marriage. Being a dad is being a dad because, you know, sometimes, you know, your wife can be upset with you. Then that could upset you. Then you can't take that to your kids like, oh, daddy, you don't look like you're happy.

00;14;01;17 - 00;14;09;17
Steve Israel
What's wrong? Well, mommy's mad at me. Really? Should we go beat mommy up? Yeah. I'll think. Let's do that. No. Yeah, it's all right.

00;14;09;19 - 00;14;16;13
Paul Sullivan
But that's great. That's a good lesson in being able to compartmentalize, like, put things in the different boxes and. Yeah, I get that.

00;14;16;16 - 00;14;40;20
Steve Israel
Yeah. And you know what? You know, football helped in football has done so much for my life is unbelievable. I'm so truly blessed to have Clay. And I'm not talking about, monetarily and that that too. Obviously it's good to have a job making six figures, leaving college normally when you know it takes it takes a couple years depending on what field you.

00;14;40;20 - 00;15;02;09
Steve Israel
And it's pretty much the only thing you can leave college at 22 and make six figures is being an entrepreneur. Even if you're an attorney, or in the financial sector, it just all that stuff takes time. A doctor can't be a doctor at 22 and make six figures. You got to go to med school. There's there's not a lot of things you could do.

00;15;02;15 - 00;15;23;20
Steve Israel
Even college at 22 to make six figures. So yeah, the money, that's cool. But more important than that is the life lessons and what football teaches you, the mental piece of it between your ears. Because one thing people start to realize a lot. There's a ton of guys that can run and that's fast and physical. Those those aren't the best players.

00;15;23;20 - 00;15;56;08
Steve Israel
The best players are the guys that can run and fast and physical, but they were able to retain and absorb a lot, a ton of knowledge and between their ears and be able to display it regardless of what's going on. Good times, average times or bad times, be able to make adjustments. And it's those things and how the business of the NFL is ran from that entire league down to individual franchises.

00;15;56;11 - 00;16;12;28
Steve Israel
And you're able if you really take a look at that and study it and pay attention, you can learn a wealth of knowledge. And for ten years I did, and I incorporate it every day in pretty much everything I do my family, everything, everything.

00;16;13;00 - 00;16;31;14
Paul Sullivan
That's a good Segway because I said at the top that, you know, they're sort of I call it the four F's that I cover. And I really focus on the company of dads and it's family, friendship, finance and fun. And I'd like you to sort of delve into that third f the finance because, you know, everybody talks about NFL player blows as money that that becomes a story.

00;16;31;14 - 00;16;51;09
Paul Sullivan
But there's so many great NFL players who don't do that. You get some good advice and they save their money and they're okay. But I'd love to know from you because you did this transition. Like if people didn't know you were, an NFL player, you've had a great career as a private banker, and you've had a career where you've been out to help an awful lot of people and give them financial advice.

00;16;51;09 - 00;17;10;13
Paul Sullivan
So when you think about, you know, some of those lessons that you learned as a player, as you said, you know, making six figures right out of college, that some of those financial lessons you learned as a player, how have how have you, you know, taken those lessons with you? And then how have you used some of those lessons to help, help the clients that you've had, as a private banker?

00;17;10;16 - 00;17;33;16
Steve Israel
Great question. Well, number one, it all started when I was younger and learning how to save. I realized very quickly with having a paper out back when I was 12 years old, when it was time to go anywhere, do things that you wanted to do when you're 13 or 14. I never had to ask. My parents always had, no, don't get me wrong.

00;17;33;16 - 00;17;58;21
Steve Israel
Now, you know, you're not going anywhere that's going to cost more. You know, back then, the movies didn't cost $10 for a ticket. You know, the movies cost, what, three bucks, 250 to get in the movies? The point I'm making is, you know, I was making 20 bucks a week as a paper boy. If you save just 15% of it, I mean, 50% of it, which I was some, some weeks I was saving all 20 bucks.

00;17;58;23 - 00;18;24;27
Steve Israel
You can you can very quickly have, you know, a hundred bucks just in five weeks. Easy. Right. And so I learned at a young age, man, if you save money, it's you have more leverage when it comes to things. And so I also realized when Leather Sneaks came out and I wanted a certain pair of leather sneaks and my mom says, oh no sugar, they're so expensive.

00;18;24;29 - 00;18;48;00
Steve Israel
What about this way to get on the road? I say, hey, well, well, if they cost 80 bucks, mom and you want to buy me those for 40, I got 40. So why don't you? Let's just go half and and I can get them. And she's very. Oh, yeah. Okay, so I had leverage. I've realized that income aid if if you have money, you have leverage which also turns into power.

00;18;48;02 - 00;19;14;16
Steve Israel
So growing up I was told from going to the bank deposit in some weeks, ten bucks, some weeks, 13 bucks. The manager, the manager at the bank said, hey, you would be a great banker when you grow up, you should think about being a awesome banker. And I said, okay, Paul, at the time, I didn't know anything about wealth planning or being a banker.

00;19;14;16 - 00;19;30;13
Steve Israel
The only thing I knew was two things. One, you could be a bank teller or a number. Two, the lady down would talk to you all the time she was the manager. Or you could be the bank manager. Those are the only two positions I knew about. So this day, fast forward. When I got to college, I knew I was going to major in econ.

00;19;30;13 - 00;19;55;10
Steve Israel
I did graduate with econ degree and knew that I wanted to do an internship at places like, you know, a brokerage firm. And at that time, the only brokerage firm that I had heard of was Merrill Lynch. And so I started reading about that type of stuff. And so now that I'm in the NFL, the NFL started an internship program for players doing the offseason.

00;19;55;13 - 00;20;02;25
Steve Israel
And that's what I did. I started, just, you know, participating in an internship program, like.

00;20;02;25 - 00;20;18;10
Paul Sullivan
Instead of hanging out for, whatever, 4 or 5 months or whatever the offseason is, six months, you would go right, and you take a little break and then you go right into sort of some sort of internship with the idea that at a certain point, you know, you can't play in the NFL forever. Even Tom Brady just proved that.

00;20;18;10 - 00;20;19;29
Paul Sullivan
We thought he would go on forever, but even he had.

00;20;19;29 - 00;20;23;13
Steve Israel
To he's different. He's different. Me there.

00;20;23;15 - 00;20;38;07
Paul Sullivan
But so that's great. So you were already thinking like, okay, I've got to focus this number of months a year on my professional football career. That pays me well. And it's going to hopefully, you know, set me up later on. But I'm going to not waste that other time and not waste those. This internship program for the NFL.

00;20;38;07 - 00;20;42;16
Paul Sullivan
And that's that's how you got started on the route of becoming a financial advisor in a private bank.

00;20;42;16 - 00;21;02;21
Steve Israel
So so we're talking about being a dad. It you know, when the offseason comes, your kids are still in school. So now obviously I can spend more time on my kids. But the days that I was doing my internship, I would drop my kids off at school and then go to the office for my internship instead of going to the football facility.

00;21;02;25 - 00;21;20;26
Steve Israel
And then when the offseason conditioning program starts, because, you know, you got to lift weights and, you know, you can practice doing offseason, but that's not all a day. You know, you go in and you have a meeting. You could be done by 10:00 in the morning, especially if you're going for 8 a.m. lift group. You're done out of there by ten.

00;21;21;04 - 00;21;56;03
Steve Israel
So I would leave and, you know, take my kids to school, go to the offseason conditioning program. And when I'm done now, I'll put on my suit and go to the internship. And, that's when it started. And, you know, I just started preparing myself that way. Then I would talk to, some of, the front office people at the teams I played for also, when I played for the Patriots, Mr. Kraft, used to really explain a lot of different things to me and help me out and, introduce me to his friends.

00;21;56;06 - 00;22;03;18
Steve Israel
I remember he introduced me to a mr. Chad Gifford, who at the time was the CEO of, I can't remember, obviously, Austin or Ben.

00;22;03;19 - 00;22;20;15
Paul Sullivan
It's funny, I knew, I know I knew Chad Gifford's brother done really well, and, yeah, they were Fleet Fat Fleet. Then. Then that got bought fleet Bank Boston. And then eventually Chad Gifford became the chairman, of Bank of America. So that's, that was a good guy to meet.

00;22;20;18 - 00;22;43;16
Steve Israel
Yeah, simply from the conversations with my boss. And we don't have time to go through all those conversations. But he said, you know what? I. I got a guy I want you to meet. One day after our conversation, he said, I got a guy I want you to meet. This was before we went out for practice. And, you know, maybe a week and a half went by, and it was.

00;22;43;16 - 00;23;04;02
Steve Israel
It was a tall guy in a blue suit standing next to my locker. I think Lawyer Malloy told me, say is big man is waiting at your locker with another one of his, you know, one of his friends, I said, oh, and as I'm walking out and I see Mr. Kraft standing with a gentleman with a blue suit on, and that gentleman was Mr. Chad.

00;23;04;02 - 00;23;06;22
Steve Israel
Jeff. It's crazy, isn't it?

00;23;06;24 - 00;23;16;01
Paul Sullivan
So when you finished, you know, ten years, you finish your career, do you take a break or did you go right into, financial services and start working?

00;23;16;04 - 00;23;53;03
Steve Israel
No, no, no, I didn't take a break. But what happened was, not only financial services, but I was told in college that I would be great on TV. And so I also wanted to that the original goal was to be like on 60 minutes. But what happened? Yeah. Yeah. Well, what happened was, during the offseason, I not only did internships at financial, brokerage firms, I also did internships, at TV stations.

00;23;53;05 - 00;23;59;14
Steve Israel
And, I worked at Nestle. I did an internship at Nestle when I was playing for the Patriots one year.

00;23;59;17 - 00;24;06;08
Paul Sullivan
This is for those not know, the New England Sports Network, which I know because in Massachusetts. Yeah, kind of like, ESPN. Yeah.

00;24;06;10 - 00;24;30;24
Steve Israel
Yeah. And, really enjoyed that. So make a long story short, I, got involved in TV also, and I got hired, for TV, college sports TV. They were end up, being bought out by, I think, CBS. But then the next year, I went to ESPN, and, I was part of, ESPN. You the you.

00;24;30;24 - 00;24;55;00
Steve Israel
That's when it first started way back and, really enjoyed that. But, you know, as you know, that's only on the weekend and Thursday nights. So what happened was I was doing TV as a sports analyst on the weekends covering football and and also Thursday night, Thursday night college games and, but during the week, I started my career at Northwestern Mutual.

00;24;55;00 - 00;25;00;05
Steve Israel
That's where I started this for, for my financial, career.

00;25;00;08 - 00;25;17;12
Paul Sullivan
I love to talk more about this, but I want to come back. You know, there's so much I want to come back to the fatherhood angle. And when you think about with your own kids, your four kids, you three girls and your son, what are the financial lessons that you really wanted to teach them? What are the things that you wanted to make sure that they knew?

00;25;17;12 - 00;25;25;06
Paul Sullivan
You got a ton of life experience. You got a ton of professional experience around money. What are those financial lessons you want to make sure your kids took away from from you?

00;25;25;08 - 00;25;54;25
Steve Israel
Oh that's funny. This one is good. Number one save, save. I you know, I would always go over different things and lessons on saving, but before that it was education. They they always knew how I felt about education. When they would do something good, you would get a report card, get report card gifts. And my kids knew Barnes and Noble extremely well.

00;25;54;28 - 00;26;13;22
Steve Israel
We have so many books. So, so, so many books. And why? Because I didn't grow up reading enough. I did not listen to my brother. Don't ask me why. We don't have time. But it's. That's the biggest mistake I made as a kid growing up. I listened to everything else, he said. But when he told me, hey, he would bring me books.

00;26;13;22 - 00;26;42;04
Steve Israel
You should read this. You should read it. I never did, never. And I'm gonna stop there. And so I'm like, I am not making that mistake with my kids. And so, yes, we spent time at toys R us and things like that. But that was never the first stop. The first thought was always Barnes and Noble. You pick out a book and you know, so it's reading and education and and the reason I brought that up is parents and dads.

00;26;42;04 - 00;27;07;06
Steve Israel
This really into this day, they'll know they have these workbooks that you can buy and during this summers my kids, yes, I let them be regular kids and participate in all the fun regular things. But also there's a lot of time in the summer. My kids always have two books that they knew they had to do a page in their math book, and a page and a reading comprehension book.

00;27;07;11 - 00;27;33;01
Steve Israel
And I started this from kindergarten. From kindergarten, because these books go from pre-K all the way up to, you know, like fifth grade and during the summer. Yeah, you go to summer camp and you do all that stuff. But at some point, and we had a schedule at some point during the day, we always figured out what 30 minutes or hour or are you going to dedicate to your math page and your reading comprehension?

00;27;33;02 - 00;27;58;01
Steve Israel
Why? Those two things I just learned at an early age. If you can do math and you can read and comprehend and read and retention and understand what you read, that takes care of all the other subjects, you'll be okay. Yeah. And that's what I wanted for my kids. So within that math page, obviously always really had them focus on the the money part.

00;27;58;03 - 00;28;19;01
Steve Israel
And as they got older I would just get them. You know, financial stuff. So for example, now, you know, once I got into, you know, being a wealth manager and a private banker, I started teaching them in middle school about stocks and bonds and went from basic math and basic saving and all that stuff as you go up in grades.

00;28;19;01 - 00;28;35;07
Steve Israel
We went up an education level about money. So today, my son, he, he knows more about day trading, day trading almost than I do. And I'm not saying that he doesn't do it for a living, but understand all of it.

00;28;35;09 - 00;28;49;28
Paul Sullivan
You've created a comfort around personal finance for your kids, and I think that's pretty great because so many parents don't do that. So many parents don't have that knowledge themselves. And so your kids do get a three year out and about. You feel comfortable that they have a good sense of of money, right?

00;28;50;01 - 00;29;20;18
Steve Israel
Yeah. You know, yeah. It's not just that. It's also generational wealth. And we don't we don't have time to go into it. But. There's a lot of families there. They don't even understand what generational wealth is. And so I really want to say, hey, it's not about just you, it's about others. What do you how are you going to put things in place to set up for not just your kids, but your grandkids and your great grandkids?

00;29;20;20 - 00;29;29;03
Steve Israel
Those are things that, we constantly talk about. And but, you know, they, you know, once people, you know, they get grown, it's a little different.

00;29;29;08 - 00;29;39;26
Paul Sullivan
Yeah. But you have your moment, you have your time when they're in your house, living under your roof, they sort of impart as many lessons as a father that you can. Right? I mean, that's your time when there are sponge.

00;29;39;28 - 00;29;59;19
Steve Israel
And it's fun to it's fun, you know, what do you what what what what do you want your kids to see? And and the big thing is simply this. Whatever I preached, they had to see me doing it. It's no different in football, you know, I know earlier you asked me what what are things you learn from football?

00;29;59;21 - 00;30;20;04
Steve Israel
It's about actions. It's about your actions. You can't say, hey, coach, I can tackle him. He doesn't want to hear that. He wants to see it. Show him I was a cornerback, I can't say oh, yeah, yeah, I can cover. Oh, really? Show it. And if you show that you can cover to God, then you're going to be on the team and you're going to be on the field.

00;30;20;10 - 00;30;25;17
Paul Sullivan
So and if the guy of the guy blows past you, they talk about you on.

00;30;25;19 - 00;30;50;06
Steve Israel
Being a dad. It's the same way you have to show your kids what you all about. If I'm teaching the proper way and I want them to do their dishes in their house chores, my kids grew up seeing me be one of the best, janitors in the house I can be when I come when they're clean, something you're going to know is going to be spotless is vacuum the dishes, load in the dishwasher the correct way.

00;30;50;08 - 00;30;56;10
Steve Israel
Whatever you're teaching and you want your kids to to know, you have to be excellent at it.

00;30;56;13 - 00;31;08;06
Paul Sullivan
That's great. That's a great point to end. Steve Israel, thank you so much for being my guest on the Company of Dads podcast. As always, I enjoy talking to you, and I'm very grateful for your time today.

00;31;08;09 - 00;31;36;01
Steve Israel
Likewise, Paul. And congratulations, man. Unbelievable company that you started. Whatever I can do to support it and be a part of it, just like those articles. Don't get me wrong. No, this is better. I know, especially for kids, this is better. But. But those articles were exceptional, and, I'm going to hold you accountable. I want the same outcome and success that those articles proved today.

00;31;36;03 - 00;31;42;13
Paul Sullivan
All right, I'm going to take a lesson from you. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to show you what a.

00;31;42;16 - 00;31;45;02
Steve Israel
This guy Paul, man, you have a go and have a great week.

00;31;45;05 - 00;31;46;16
Paul Sullivan
Thanks, buddy.

00;31;46;19 - 00;31;46;26
Steve Israel
Yeah.

00;00;00;01 - 00;00;20;11
Speaker 1
I'm Paul Sullivan, your host and the Company of Dads podcast, where we explore the sweet, sublime, strange and silly aspects of being a lead that in a world where men often feel they have to hide or at least not talk about their parenting, well, I know this from firsthand experience as a lead dad to my three girls, three dogs, three cats, and, somewhat remarkably, three fish who are still alive.

00;00;20;14 - 00;00;37;05
Speaker 1
I've done this all while managing my career and striving to be an above average husband. One thing I know for sure about being a dad is it's not a normal role. You're not doing what dads have traditionally done. Going to work and leaving the parenting to mom or someone else. Nor are you always welcome in a world where moms are the primary caregiver.

00;00;37;05 - 00;01;02;16
Speaker 1
But here in the company of dads, our goal is to shake all that off and focus on what really matters. Family, friendship, finance and fun. Today my guest is Steve Israel, who is the 30th pick in the 1992 NFL draft and went on to play ten seasons for the Rams, the 40 Niners, the Patriots and the Saints. He's now a private banker in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the father of four.

00;01;02;19 - 00;01;19;09
Speaker 1
I remember distinctly the day I met Steve, probably 7 or 8 years ago at a conference in Miami. It was at the cocktail party after day of speakers, and I noticed this guy gliding through the crowd and coming my way. At first I was jealous. How does this guy about my age move so much more athletically than me?

00;01;19;16 - 00;01;30;04
Speaker 1
Then Steve, in introducing himself, mentioned he played cornerback in the NFL and I felt a little bit better about myself. Steve, welcome to the Company of Dads podcast. How are you?

00;01;30;06 - 00;01;42;23
Speaker 2
Oh, it's awesome to be here, Paul. And, just want to say, man, this is such an awesome deal. And starting this company, man, you're about, ten years behind,

00;01;42;25 - 00;01;53;01
Speaker 1
Okay. I appreciate it. I appreciate. So we got to start with the Super Bowl. Is it safe to say, that for the Super Bowl, you're rooting for the Rams? You're going to root for your old team?

00;01;53;03 - 00;02;14;13
Speaker 2
Oh, that is so funny. Yes, of course I'm rooting for the Rams. But, that's not the number one reason that I'm rooting for the Rams because, I used to play for them. And you know, it's the team that drafted me. I'm rooting for the Rams because they have a University of Pittsburgh Panther football player. That's their captain.

00;02;14;15 - 00;02;22;01
Speaker 2
His name is Aaron Donald. And I'm you know, you always root for the guys that went to your school.

00;02;22;03 - 00;02;24;21
Speaker 1
And so what position does he play?

00;02;24;23 - 00;02;25;27
Speaker 2
Defensive line.

00;02;25;29 - 00;02;26;23
Speaker 1
Okay.

00;02;26;25 - 00;02;40;15
Speaker 2
He happens to be the best defensive lineman in the NFL. The past. I don't know, what, five years. He's. He's a stud. You'll you'll you'll see who he is. Super Bowl Sunday, you'll see a lot of number 90. Not.

00;02;40;17 - 00;02;56;01
Speaker 1
We've been we've been friends for a while, so we're gonna have to agree to disagree. I I'm I'm rooting for this. Yeah, I'm rooting for the Bengals and not for the quarterback. Everybody loves the quarterback. As you know, I wrote my first book was called clutch. Why some people Excel under pressure. Another. And that kicker. The kicker, that guy.

00;02;56;03 - 00;03;11;03
Speaker 1
Baffles me. He is like the example of a clutch player. He gets him into the championship game, he kicks him into the Super Bowl and he's 22 years old. I'm like this, this guy. I know the kicker doesn't get a lot of love. You know that for me. But he is a hell of a guy.

00;03;11;03 - 00;03;29;27
Speaker 2
He even I was I was excited for him to I, I'm just like any other day locker. We talk about this all the time. You have three daughters. I have three daughters. I have four kids. I have a son, too. But I also obviously have three daughters. And you know, when you're a dad, you like to see all those great and happy endings.

00;03;29;29 - 00;03;46;10
Speaker 2
And regardless. And you know, I want I want him to do well too. I want the Rams to win. But you know, I'm happy if they win by one point on the last play I'm fine. But the Bengals oh man what a story. What a year they've had. It's been great.

00;03;46;13 - 00;03;58;13
Speaker 1
Now just you know because we're friends I'm not going to put you on the spot. And ask you who you were rooting for in that game last week in between the Rams and the 40 Niners. Because you played for both those teams. I know you don't even you don't even have to answer that question. I don't want to know.

00;03;58;20 - 00;04;02;04
Speaker 1
It's just going to get you in trouble with your old teammates. Yeah.

00;04;02;06 - 00;04;20;24
Speaker 2
No it's not no it's not I'm not I'm fine with being put on the spot. You got to remember, I used to play cornerback like we have to be ready at all times. A cornerback is programed even after you retire. Your mindset is you always have to be ready. They could go in motion. They can go no huddle.

00;04;21;00 - 00;04;43;04
Speaker 2
Life brings motions. Life brings no huddle. You got to always be ready to adjust and always be ready on point and at the end of the day, Rams versus Niners. I got a lot of calls from different friends. Hey you play football for who you want to win the Rams. Really? Why? Because I'm no longer a player and I'm a fan.

00;04;43;09 - 00;05;13;26
Speaker 2
And I think the Rams versus the Bengals would be a better game than a Niners versus the being. Why is that? Because Jimmy G doesn't get it done throwing the ball down the field on a consistent basis. He he he's liable to to throw an interception here or there. He's proved that. Yeah. And so that's the only reason I you know I wanted to plus like I said earlier Pat Pat University Pittsburgh I love the Rams.

00;05;13;29 - 00;05;31;10
Speaker 1
All right so you're you got four kids and we're just talking before two our are fully launched. As we say one is coming out of college. The baby's bringing up the rear. Going to go to college next year. So. But that meant you were a dad when you were in the NFL. What was that like? What was fatherhood?

00;05;31;10 - 00;05;40;28
Speaker 1
How, you know, what team were you playing with when you first became, a father and talk about that experience as a, as a father and, professional football player?

00;05;41;00 - 00;06;15;14
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, it first of all, it was awesome and 100% unbelievable. Let me set the foundation for you. Then you'll understand what I mean. I'm from a family of five. My parents have five kids, and I'm in the dead middle. I have an older brother, an older sister than is myself. Then I have two younger brothers. And since I was a kid, like five years old, in kindergarten and always looking up to my older siblings and going on a family vacations and sitting in the back seat in between my big brother and big sister.

00;06;15;20 - 00;06;31;22
Speaker 2
And I would always look at him and I would look at my parents and, you know, the sun is shining and I'm like, man, I want to be like my dad. I'm going to marry a two pretty woman and I'm going to have a family. I knew as young as kindergarten, in first grade, in second grade that I wanted a family.

00;06;31;22 - 00;06;52;20
Speaker 2
I never forgot that. And so then when it came time for me to, you know, have a family, I knew that I wanted my first kid to be a girl. And it was. And then I wanted my second kid to be a little boy, and it wasn't. And I'm happy it wasn't because the little girl I got, oh, my goodness, she is cute.

00;06;52;20 - 00;06;56;25
Speaker 2
Just like our big sister. And it was just,

00;06;56;27 - 00;07;01;26
Speaker 1
And you have such a sweet nickname for this butter, right? Your seconds. Yeah, yeah. Sweet nickname.

00;07;01;28 - 00;07;28;12
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah. My oldest daughter's name nickname was pumpkin, which got cut to a pump pump and probably in the fifth grade. She's like, look, dad, I don't want to go buy pump pump anymore. My name is Avery. I want you can can you call me Avery? And I said, yeah, Avery. Yes, I can call you Avery. And then Avery got cut to a and then when she got to high school, I don't want to go by a.

00;07;28;18 - 00;07;44;14
Speaker 2
My name is not a my name is Avery. Then that's when it truly started to go. You know Avery but Ashley that's butter. Ashley never had a problem with being called butter. I still call her butter and she has no problem with it.

00;07;44;16 - 00;08;02;14
Speaker 1
It's so good to see my oldest daughter. Her name is Virginia. She's in the sixth grade now, and when she was early on, we would call her Ginny. Like, you know. Virginia. Sure. And and I think, like, in pre-K, she came to us and said in a dad, mom, I really want to be called Virginia. And she was like four years old.

00;08;02;14 - 00;08;16;25
Speaker 1
I'm like, okay. But the nickname we have for her is Jelly Bean, because when she was in the hospital, you need the baby and half a swaddle them all up and they fit in your arm like a football. You can really fit them in your arm and hold them there. They actually look like a little jelly bean. And she she doesn't like it.

00;08;16;25 - 00;08;27;16
Speaker 1
And we don't ever say it outside of the house because I kind of but she's she's like, did you call me something other jelly bean is like, no, no, I'm not, I'm not going. Are you going in? When she gets called Virginia, then she knows she's in trouble.

00;08;27;18 - 00;08;34;29
Speaker 2
Oh that's funny. That's good. Every family has these nicknames stores every every family. But, so.

00;08;35;00 - 00;08;54;23
Speaker 1
So back to there you are in the locker room. You're playing pro ball. You're doing great. You're drafted 30th. But then you have kids, you know, and that's it. You wanted to be a dad, but surely you want to be a pro football player. And I can imagine, like during the season, those weeks when you're playing and, and up to it, I mean, you're full on you're you're not, you know, and then in the off season you got a break.

00;08;54;23 - 00;09;03;08
Speaker 1
But how did you balance it. How did you make it work as being the dad you want it to be and still being, you know, a great you were a great player. I mean, you like ten years. That's amazing.

00;09;03;10 - 00;09;31;04
Speaker 2
Well, it's it's it's simple. It's all about priorities. What are your priorities? And I always knew that my priorities were going to be my family. You know, it was simple. It's real easy if you're blessed to come from an awesome family. Every everybody knows, you know, you don't compare, you don't knock others. But reality is reality. You can only speak specifically when about how you grew up, what your reality was, and everyone to tell you.

00;09;31;04 - 00;09;57;01
Speaker 2
I'm not saying that, if you didn't grow up this way, then things could be tough. Now, we've seen awesome stories and awesome success stories from all walks of life. You know, kids that didn't have any parents. And they're doing awesome. We've we've heard of them. But I'm just telling you, I grew up in a very traditional, off the charts, unbelievable parents.

00;09;57;01 - 00;10;18;06
Speaker 2
My parents did everything they could do to help us and support us. And love is, and and raises. So when you come from that, you had you had a picture. Life is is about experiences. And if you grew up experiencing what it felt like for your mom and dad to support and help you in all areas of your life, social.

00;10;18;08 - 00;10;45;09
Speaker 2
Extracurricular activities, academics, and then, you're whatever religion you belong to, and they're involved in everything. Then it's simple for you now, you can easily just close your eyes and envision how do you want to do it. And you can look back of how it was done for you. And so, playing in NFL was simple. Just because I'm going to, NFL facility, I'm still going to work.

00;10;45;12 - 00;11;05;18
Speaker 2
So depending on what time I got to be there, a lot of times I was to drop off, God, for example, when I was playing for the Saints, my kids school, Saint Martins, was across the street from the Saints facility in Medford. So I used to take my kids to school a lot of dates and drop them off and then then go to work now, granite.

00;11;05;18 - 00;11;29;12
Speaker 2
When I got out of school at three, I wasn't finished. So, their mom would pick them up. But it was so much fun. And I would come home and I'm a hands on dad, so I really enjoyed doing homework. And sometimes my kids, I let them help me. I played ten years, but it was a very tough ten years.

00;11;29;12 - 00;11;50;22
Speaker 2
I was injured out of that ten years, I was injured probably four of those years. And I missed a lot of games due to injury and surgeries. And during that time, in the middle of doing homework, when my kid is going to the kitchen to get, you know, some cookies and milk for a break in between homework or we're taking a break.

00;11;50;25 - 00;12;05;03
Speaker 2
I would ask my daughter to grab my bag of ice so I can so daddy can ice his name. You know, they would participate. They sometimes they would hold the ice in place so I could wrap it with my, you know, Ashraf.

00;12;05;05 - 00;12;20;09
Speaker 1
But that gave them a real sense of what it was like. It wasn't just the glamor of being an NFL player. It was the reality of being an NFL player. And, you know, this is some people, you know, you go to an office and you have a bad day. You come home, you know, how do your kids understand that?

00;12;20;09 - 00;12;39;18
Speaker 1
You came, your office was the football field and you got injured. And it really I would think it would probably help them think about as they grew up, like remembering those stories of war warriors. It wasn't that easy. It wasn't like dad just went out and played where no work is hard. Like work is hard, even if your work happens to be, you know, glamorous.

00;12;39;18 - 00;12;42;01
Speaker 1
And every Sunday, you know, people are watching you play.

00;12;42;03 - 00;13;03;26
Speaker 2
I tell you one thing or one thing I'm really thankful for, and I was blessed to be able to do. And that was regardless of what happened at work. When I got in my car and went home and got out of my car to walk in my house that stayed at work or stayed in my car, and never I never brought work into my house.

00;13;03;29 - 00;13;08;06
Speaker 2
And so, that made things a lot easier.

00;13;08;08 - 00;13;15;07
Speaker 1
You tell me that when things went wrong at home, you didn't have a huddle. You didn't bring them all into the huddle.

00;13;15;10 - 00;13;36;09
Speaker 2
No, no, no, no, I'm talking about, like, the things that that when you had a bad practice or you're upset because you get the results back from your MRI, you realize that your cartilage is torn and it's not going to be just this three days of practice you're going to miss three weeks ago missed three games, right. And so that could be extremely upsetting.

00;13;36;12 - 00;14;01;17
Speaker 2
So instead of, you know, coming home and on, dad's quiet, why I did it I was blessed to do a good job of really isolating things. Work is work. Marriage is marriage. Being a dad is being a dad because, you know, sometimes, you know, your wife can be upset with you. Then that could upset you. Then you can't take that to your kids like, oh, daddy, you don't look like you're happy.

00;14;01;17 - 00;14;09;17
Speaker 2
What's wrong? Well, mommy's mad at me. Really? Should we go beat mommy up? Yeah. I'll think. Let's do that. No. Yeah, it's all right.

00;14;09;19 - 00;14;16;13
Speaker 1
But that's great. That's a good lesson in being able to compartmentalize, like, put things in the different boxes and. Yeah, I get that.

00;14;16;16 - 00;14;40;20
Speaker 2
Yeah. And you know what? You know, football helped in football has done so much for my life is unbelievable. I'm so truly blessed to have Clay. And I'm not talking about, monetarily and that that too. Obviously it's good to have a job making six figures, leaving college normally when you know it takes it takes a couple years depending on what field you.

00;14;40;20 - 00;15;02;09
Speaker 2
And it's pretty much the only thing you can leave college at 22 and make six figures is being an entrepreneur. Even if you're an attorney, or in the financial sector, it just all that stuff takes time. A doctor can't be a doctor at 22 and make six figures. You got to go to med school. There's there's not a lot of things you could do.

00;15;02;15 - 00;15;23;20
Speaker 2
Even college at 22 to make six figures. So yeah, the money, that's cool. But more important than that is the life lessons and what football teaches you, the mental piece of it between your ears. Because one thing people start to realize a lot. There's a ton of guys that can run and that's fast and physical. Those those aren't the best players.

00;15;23;20 - 00;15;56;08
Speaker 2
The best players are the guys that can run and fast and physical, but they were able to retain and absorb a lot, a ton of knowledge and between their ears and be able to display it regardless of what's going on. Good times, average times or bad times, be able to make adjustments. And it's those things and how the business of the NFL is ran from that entire league down to individual franchises.

00;15;56;11 - 00;16;12;28
Speaker 2
And you're able if you really take a look at that and study it and pay attention, you can learn a wealth of knowledge. And for ten years I did, and I incorporate it every day in pretty much everything I do my family, everything, everything.

00;16;13;00 - 00;16;31;14
Speaker 1
That's a good Segway because I said at the top that, you know, they're sort of I call it the four F's that I cover. And I really focus on the company of dads and it's family, friendship, finance and fun. And I'd like you to sort of delve into that third f the finance because, you know, everybody talks about NFL player blows as money that that becomes a story.

00;16;31;14 - 00;16;51;09
Speaker 1
But there's so many great NFL players who don't do that. You get some good advice and they save their money and they're okay. But I'd love to know from you because you did this transition. Like if people didn't know you were, an NFL player, you've had a great career as a private banker, and you've had a career where you've been out to help an awful lot of people and give them financial advice.

00;16;51;09 - 00;17;10;13
Speaker 1
So when you think about, you know, some of those lessons that you learned as a player, as you said, you know, making six figures right out of college, that some of those financial lessons you learned as a player, how have how have you, you know, taken those lessons with you? And then how have you used some of those lessons to help, help the clients that you've had, as a private banker?

00;17;10;16 - 00;17;33;16
Speaker 2
Great question. Well, number one, it all started when I was younger and learning how to save. I realized very quickly with having a paper out back when I was 12 years old, when it was time to go anywhere, do things that you wanted to do when you're 13 or 14. I never had to ask. My parents always had, no, don't get me wrong.

00;17;33;16 - 00;17;58;21
Speaker 2
Now, you know, you're not going anywhere that's going to cost more. You know, back then, the movies didn't cost $10 for a ticket. You know, the movies cost, what, three bucks, 250 to get in the movies? The point I'm making is, you know, I was making 20 bucks a week as a paper boy. If you save just 15% of it, I mean, 50% of it, which I was some, some weeks I was saving all 20 bucks.

00;17;58;23 - 00;18;24;27
Speaker 2
You can you can very quickly have, you know, a hundred bucks just in five weeks. Easy. Right. And so I learned at a young age, man, if you save money, it's you have more leverage when it comes to things. And so I also realized when Leather Sneaks came out and I wanted a certain pair of leather sneaks and my mom says, oh no sugar, they're so expensive.

00;18;24;29 - 00;18;48;00
Speaker 2
What about this way to get on the road? I say, hey, well, well, if they cost 80 bucks, mom and you want to buy me those for 40, I got 40. So why don't you? Let's just go half and and I can get them. And she's very. Oh, yeah. Okay, so I had leverage. I've realized that income aid if if you have money, you have leverage which also turns into power.

00;18;48;02 - 00;19;14;16
Speaker 2
So growing up I was told from going to the bank deposit in some weeks, ten bucks, some weeks, 13 bucks. The manager, the manager at the bank said, hey, you would be a great banker when you grow up, you should think about being a awesome banker. And I said, okay, Paul, at the time, I didn't know anything about wealth planning or being a banker.

00;19;14;16 - 00;19;30;13
Speaker 2
The only thing I knew was two things. One, you could be a bank teller or a number. Two, the lady down would talk to you all the time she was the manager. Or you could be the bank manager. Those are the only two positions I knew about. So this day, fast forward. When I got to college, I knew I was going to major in econ.

00;19;30;13 - 00;19;55;10
Speaker 2
I did graduate with econ degree and knew that I wanted to do an internship at places like, you know, a brokerage firm. And at that time, the only brokerage firm that I had heard of was Merrill Lynch. And so I started reading about that type of stuff. And so now that I'm in the NFL, the NFL started an internship program for players doing the offseason.

00;19;55;13 - 00;20;02;25
Speaker 2
And that's what I did. I started, just, you know, participating in an internship program, like.

00;20;02;25 - 00;20;18;10
Speaker 1
Instead of hanging out for, whatever, 4 or 5 months or whatever the offseason is, six months, you would go right, and you take a little break and then you go right into sort of some sort of internship with the idea that at a certain point, you know, you can't play in the NFL forever. Even Tom Brady just proved that.

00;20;18;10 - 00;20;19;29
Speaker 1
We thought he would go on forever, but even he had.

00;20;19;29 - 00;20;23;13
Speaker 2
To he's different. He's different. Me there.

00;20;23;15 - 00;20;38;07
Speaker 1
But so that's great. So you were already thinking like, okay, I've got to focus this number of months a year on my professional football career. That pays me well. And it's going to hopefully, you know, set me up later on. But I'm going to not waste that other time and not waste those. This internship program for the NFL.

00;20;38;07 - 00;20;42;16
Speaker 1
And that's that's how you got started on the route of becoming a financial advisor in a private bank.

00;20;42;16 - 00;21;02;21
Speaker 2
So so we're talking about being a dad. It you know, when the offseason comes, your kids are still in school. So now obviously I can spend more time on my kids. But the days that I was doing my internship, I would drop my kids off at school and then go to the office for my internship instead of going to the football facility.

00;21;02;25 - 00;21;20;26
Speaker 2
And then when the offseason conditioning program starts, because, you know, you got to lift weights and, you know, you can practice doing offseason, but that's not all a day. You know, you go in and you have a meeting. You could be done by 10:00 in the morning, especially if you're going for 8 a.m. lift group. You're done out of there by ten.

00;21;21;04 - 00;21;56;03
Speaker 2
So I would leave and, you know, take my kids to school, go to the offseason conditioning program. And when I'm done now, I'll put on my suit and go to the internship. And, that's when it started. And, you know, I just started preparing myself that way. Then I would talk to, some of, the front office people at the teams I played for also, when I played for the Patriots, Mr. Kraft, used to really explain a lot of different things to me and help me out and, introduce me to his friends.

00;21;56;06 - 00;22;03;18
Speaker 2
I remember he introduced me to a mr. Chad Gifford, who at the time was the CEO of, I can't remember, obviously, Austin or Ben.

00;22;03;19 - 00;22;20;15
Speaker 1
It's funny, I knew, I know I knew Chad Gifford's brother done really well, and, yeah, they were Fleet Fat Fleet. Then. Then that got bought fleet Bank Boston. And then eventually Chad Gifford became the chairman, of Bank of America. So that's, that was a good guy to meet.

00;22;20;18 - 00;22;43;16
Speaker 2
Yeah, simply from the conversations with my boss. And we don't have time to go through all those conversations. But he said, you know what? I. I got a guy I want you to meet. One day after our conversation, he said, I got a guy I want you to meet. This was before we went out for practice. And, you know, maybe a week and a half went by, and it was.

00;22;43;16 - 00;23;04;02
Speaker 2
It was a tall guy in a blue suit standing next to my locker. I think Lawyer Malloy told me, say is big man is waiting at your locker with another one of his, you know, one of his friends, I said, oh, and as I'm walking out and I see Mr. Kraft standing with a gentleman with a blue suit on, and that gentleman was Mr. Chad.

00;23;04;02 - 00;23;06;22
Speaker 2
Jeff. It's crazy, isn't it?

00;23;06;24 - 00;23;16;01
Speaker 1
So when you finished, you know, ten years, you finish your career, do you take a break or did you go right into, financial services and start working?

00;23;16;04 - 00;23;53;03
Speaker 2
No, no, no, I didn't take a break. But what happened was, not only financial services, but I was told in college that I would be great on TV. And so I also wanted to that the original goal was to be like on 60 minutes. But what happened? Yeah. Yeah. Well, what happened was, during the offseason, I not only did internships at financial, brokerage firms, I also did internships, at TV stations.

00;23;53;05 - 00;23;59;14
Speaker 2
And, I worked at Nestle. I did an internship at Nestle when I was playing for the Patriots one year.

00;23;59;17 - 00;24;06;08
Speaker 1
This is for those not know, the New England Sports Network, which I know because in Massachusetts. Yeah, kind of like, ESPN. Yeah.

00;24;06;10 - 00;24;30;24
Speaker 2
Yeah. And, really enjoyed that. So make a long story short, I, got involved in TV also, and I got hired, for TV, college sports TV. They were end up, being bought out by, I think, CBS. But then the next year, I went to ESPN, and, I was part of, ESPN. You the you.

00;24;30;24 - 00;24;55;00
Speaker 2
That's when it first started way back and, really enjoyed that. But, you know, as you know, that's only on the weekend and Thursday nights. So what happened was I was doing TV as a sports analyst on the weekends covering football and and also Thursday night, Thursday night college games and, but during the week, I started my career at Northwestern Mutual.

00;24;55;00 - 00;25;00;05
Speaker 2
That's where I started this for, for my financial, career.

00;25;00;08 - 00;25;17;12
Speaker 1
I love to talk more about this, but I want to come back. You know, there's so much I want to come back to the fatherhood angle. And when you think about with your own kids, your four kids, you three girls and your son, what are the financial lessons that you really wanted to teach them? What are the things that you wanted to make sure that they knew?

00;25;17;12 - 00;25;25;06
Speaker 1
You got a ton of life experience. You got a ton of professional experience around money. What are those financial lessons you want to make sure your kids took away from from you?

00;25;25;08 - 00;25;54;25
Speaker 2
Oh that's funny. This one is good. Number one save, save. I you know, I would always go over different things and lessons on saving, but before that it was education. They they always knew how I felt about education. When they would do something good, you would get a report card, get report card gifts. And my kids knew Barnes and Noble extremely well.

00;25;54;28 - 00;26;13;22
Speaker 2
We have so many books. So, so, so many books. And why? Because I didn't grow up reading enough. I did not listen to my brother. Don't ask me why. We don't have time. But it's. That's the biggest mistake I made as a kid growing up. I listened to everything else, he said. But when he told me, hey, he would bring me books.

00;26;13;22 - 00;26;42;04
Speaker 2
You should read this. You should read it. I never did, never. And I'm gonna stop there. And so I'm like, I am not making that mistake with my kids. And so, yes, we spent time at toys R us and things like that. But that was never the first stop. The first thought was always Barnes and Noble. You pick out a book and you know, so it's reading and education and and the reason I brought that up is parents and dads.

00;26;42;04 - 00;27;07;06
Speaker 2
This really into this day, they'll know they have these workbooks that you can buy and during this summers my kids, yes, I let them be regular kids and participate in all the fun regular things. But also there's a lot of time in the summer. My kids always have two books that they knew they had to do a page in their math book, and a page and a reading comprehension book.

00;27;07;11 - 00;27;33;01
Speaker 2
And I started this from kindergarten. From kindergarten, because these books go from pre-K all the way up to, you know, like fifth grade and during the summer. Yeah, you go to summer camp and you do all that stuff. But at some point, and we had a schedule at some point during the day, we always figured out what 30 minutes or hour or are you going to dedicate to your math page and your reading comprehension?

00;27;33;02 - 00;27;58;01
Speaker 2
Why? Those two things I just learned at an early age. If you can do math and you can read and comprehend and read and retention and understand what you read, that takes care of all the other subjects, you'll be okay. Yeah. And that's what I wanted for my kids. So within that math page, obviously always really had them focus on the the money part.

00;27;58;03 - 00;28;19;01
Speaker 2
And as they got older I would just get them. You know, financial stuff. So for example, now, you know, once I got into, you know, being a wealth manager and a private banker, I started teaching them in middle school about stocks and bonds and went from basic math and basic saving and all that stuff as you go up in grades.

00;28;19;01 - 00;28;35;07
Speaker 2
We went up an education level about money. So today, my son, he, he knows more about day trading, day trading almost than I do. And I'm not saying that he doesn't do it for a living, but understand all of it.

00;28;35;09 - 00;28;49;28
Speaker 1
You've created a comfort around personal finance for your kids, and I think that's pretty great because so many parents don't do that. So many parents don't have that knowledge themselves. And so your kids do get a three year out and about. You feel comfortable that they have a good sense of of money, right?

00;28;50;01 - 00;29;20;18
Speaker 2
Yeah. You know, yeah. It's not just that. It's also generational wealth. And we don't we don't have time to go into it. But. There's a lot of families there. They don't even understand what generational wealth is. And so I really want to say, hey, it's not about just you, it's about others. What do you how are you going to put things in place to set up for not just your kids, but your grandkids and your great grandkids?

00;29;20;20 - 00;29;29;03
Speaker 2
Those are things that, we constantly talk about. And but, you know, they, you know, once people, you know, they get grown, it's a little different.

00;29;29;08 - 00;29;39;26
Speaker 1
Yeah. But you have your moment, you have your time when they're in your house, living under your roof, they sort of impart as many lessons as a father that you can. Right? I mean, that's your time when there are sponge.

00;29;39;28 - 00;29;59;19
Speaker 2
And it's fun to it's fun, you know, what do you what what what what do you want your kids to see? And and the big thing is simply this. Whatever I preached, they had to see me doing it. It's no different in football, you know, I know earlier you asked me what what are things you learn from football?

00;29;59;21 - 00;30;20;04
Speaker 2
It's about actions. It's about your actions. You can't say, hey, coach, I can tackle him. He doesn't want to hear that. He wants to see it. Show him I was a cornerback, I can't say oh, yeah, yeah, I can cover. Oh, really? Show it. And if you show that you can cover to God, then you're going to be on the team and you're going to be on the field.

00;30;20;10 - 00;30;25;17
Speaker 1
So and if the guy of the guy blows past you, they talk about you on.

00;30;25;19 - 00;30;50;06
Speaker 2
Being a dad. It's the same way you have to show your kids what you all about. If I'm teaching the proper way and I want them to do their dishes in their house chores, my kids grew up seeing me be one of the best, janitors in the house I can be when I come when they're clean, something you're going to know is going to be spotless is vacuum the dishes, load in the dishwasher the correct way.

00;30;50;08 - 00;30;56;10
Speaker 2
Whatever you're teaching and you want your kids to to know, you have to be excellent at it.

00;30;56;13 - 00;31;08;06
Speaker 1
That's great. That's a great point to end. Steve Israel, thank you so much for being my guest on the Company of Dads podcast. As always, I enjoy talking to you, and I'm very grateful for your time today.

00;31;08;09 - 00;31;36;01
Speaker 2
Likewise, Paul. And congratulations, man. Unbelievable company that you started. Whatever I can do to support it and be a part of it, just like those articles. Don't get me wrong. No, this is better. I know, especially for kids, this is better. But. But those articles were exceptional, and, I'm going to hold you accountable. I want the same outcome and success that those articles proved today.

00;31;36;03 - 00;31;42;13
Speaker 1
All right, I'm going to take a lesson from you. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to show you what a.

00;31;42;16 - 00;31;45;02
Speaker 2
This guy Paul, man, you have a go and have a great week.

00;31;45;05 - 00;31;46;16
Speaker 1
Thanks, buddy.

00;31;46;19 - 00;31;46;26
Speaker 2
Yeah.