EP7: The Importance of Community for Single Lead Dads

Interview with Nathan Richardson / Entrepreneur, Florida transplant, Father of Twins

HOSTED BY PAUL SULLIVAN

Nathan Richardson was a New Yorker, and the community in his neighborhood allowed him to be a single Lead Dad to twins, a boy and a girl, and still work at the top of his profession. He had time to volunteer and be with each of his kids alone, knowing his neighborhood network was there to help. But stuck in a New York apartment during Covid, he made the tough choice to leave the city behind and move to Miami. His kids have adapted, but there have been challenges.  Hear him talk about the importance of other parents for single Lead Dads.

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Transcript

00;00;05;07 - 00;00;26;20
Paul Sullivan
I'm Paul Sullivan, your host on the Company of Dads podcast, where we explore the sweet, sublime, strange and silly aspects of being a dad in a world where men often feel they have to hide, or at least not talk about their parenting role. I know this from firsthand experience as lead dad to my three girls, three dogs, three cats, and, somewhat remarkably, three fish who are still alive.

00;00;26;22 - 00;00;43;26
Paul Sullivan
I did all this while managing my career and striving to be an above average husband. One thing I know for sure about being a dad is it's not a normal role you're not doing with dads who traditionally done going to work, leaving the parenting to mom or someone else. Nor are you always welcome into the world where moms are the primary caregivers.

00;00;43;27 - 00;01;06;29
Paul Sullivan
But here the company of dads. Our goal is to shake all that off and focus on what really matters family, friendship, finance, and fun. Today my guest is Nathan Richardson, entrepreneur, newly trans planted Florida man and single dad. Nathan has had a remarkable career in technology. Goes back to the 1990s when Yahoo was the hottest tech property on the planet.

00;01;07;02 - 00;01;28;16
Paul Sullivan
He also worked at media companies like Dow Jones and Bloomberg. He helped create gilt, a wonderful fashion site, and he's also been a mentor to New York City's Educational Development Corporation. In 2013, he became the father to twins, a Girl Scout and a boy. They're now in the third grade. Last year, during the pandemic, they moved from New York to Miami.

00;01;28;18 - 00;01;31;27
Paul Sullivan
Welcome, Nathan, to the Company of Dads podcast. How are you today?

00;01;31;29 - 00;01;34;02
Nathan Richardson
Thanks, Paul. Excited to be here with you today.

00;01;34;05 - 00;01;43;23
Paul Sullivan
Yeah. Thanks, pal. Yeah. Little nice, sort of, you know, Miami day. The extremes are much better than my my Connecticut day. Is that fair to say?

00;01;43;25 - 00;01;53;03
Nathan Richardson
I think it's fair to say that I ran on the beach this morning and, broke a sweat rather than froze my tish off running along the west side of Manhattan.

00;01;53;06 - 00;02;19;21
Paul Sullivan
All right, you win. You win there. I did a little sun on my face this morning, so that made me feel better. Let's start off by talking a bit about balance. I mean, you've had a remarkable career, but that your kids are eight years old now. Steve, you've been a dad, as I said, since 2013. What are some of the biggest challenges as a, as a single dad particular as you think of, like the different stages that your kids have been through?

00;02;19;23 - 00;02;42;27
Nathan Richardson
So I would say that, I'm super fortunate that I've always had, a supportive network around me, and I've had, I've had a nanny with me and the kids from the beginning. So, you know, I realize and recognize that's a very, you know, privileged position to come from. Same time, I'm a single parent now in a career of I have a career.

00;02;42;27 - 00;03;09;29
Nathan Richardson
And, so a couple of boards. So my, my professional life is quite robust and busy and requires travel. So, how have I found balance and sort of the parameters? One is, you know, nothing is black and white. Sometimes it's going to be a little bit gray. So the things that I always strive for are I run every morning for my kids, you know, I, able to do that to keep my sanity.

00;03;10;01 - 00;03;29;15
Nathan Richardson
I am there for them in the morning, and I make sure I drop them off at school. So we have a lot of conversations and we get quality time there. I will say that while we were in New York, I was home at least four nights a week. And during the pandemic, obviously I've been home, had a lot more than that.

00;03;29;18 - 00;03;49;26
Nathan Richardson
You know, the the lines in New York are a lot harder to draw because you're always chasing the siren call of that next cocktail party or opening or show or event or work dinner. And so in New York, I found it a lot more challenging to say, okay, these are the nights I'm committed to being home with the kids.

00;03;49;28 - 00;04;09;10
Nathan Richardson
Part of the routine in the sausage factory, of the messy parts of bed, you know, getting kids ready for bed time. Getting them fed. Getting them decompressed and asleep. So, that definitely has been something that's been consistent, throughout my kids eight years of life.

00;04;09;13 - 00;04;22;20
Paul Sullivan
When you think about the flip side of that, I mean, there is always something to do in New York, and it's hard to say no because you're not quite sure. Is this going to be, a fun time or is this going to be the type of party where I meet somebody? Is going to be fantastic for my career?

00;04;22;25 - 00;04;47;19
Paul Sullivan
But the flip side of that, I mean, did you find that once your kids were at least in, you know, pre-K, the nursery school, pre-K, and then going on to elementary school, did you find the parent in New York, where you were living, like, sort of supportive of of you as, as a dad and welcoming, of you as lead dad or we still, you know, the outsider dad and amongst the mom mafia.

00;04;47;22 - 00;05;11;12
Nathan Richardson
I will tell you that some of my closest friends have come from the preschool and nursery school, as well as from the kindergarten experience. And I've been in New York for 20 years before I 15 years for eight kids. And I have a great social network and a great professional network. But the parents were next level and they had my back in ways that I didn't expect both the moms and dads.

00;05;11;12 - 00;05;33;28
Nathan Richardson
So I can give you instances where, you know, the nanny overheard some parents talking about, oh, there's the those kids, or they have that gay dad and the moms went after the other mom and we're like, you know what? Chill out. Well, if you're going to say that to the kids, you better bring it to me first. So they they took numbers.

00;05;34;00 - 00;05;35;02
Nathan Richardson
Similarly, some of.

00;05;35;02 - 00;05;38;23
Paul Sullivan
The that's that's a tough group. I like that group of moms you're hanging with. That's good.

00;05;38;25 - 00;05;59;25
Nathan Richardson
They're amazing. You know and and similarly like, there's one time where my daughter was sick and my son needed to go to a birthday party, and, you know, the dad, the, one of the dads like, hey, we gotcha. And my son went and had a great time. So the parents have been really amazing. My parent group in New York was really terrific.

00;05;59;27 - 00;06;24;24
Nathan Richardson
We went on vacations with them. The other thing is, it's really diverse. Parents. And we met in a Pierce, 41 range from well-known authors to well-known musicians to bar owners and finance people and venture capitalists. So and most of the parents work. So it was a very diverse set of people, of both men and women that were working.

00;06;24;24 - 00;06;35;26
Nathan Richardson
So we were all in it together and all having fun trying to work it out and make sure we had some fun ourselves, but also got our kids into, you know, the best education possible.

00;06;35;29 - 00;06;58;14
Paul Sullivan
Yeah, I, you know, I think my kids are, you know, girls 12, nine and four. And I look at the 12 year old and she's, you know, she thinks she's completely self-sufficient. The nine year old is fairly self-sufficient, and the four year old is the toughest one in the group, but she she is still four. And so on the weekends, you know, you I get kind of a break in my wife, you know, kind of hands things off.

00;06;58;17 - 00;07;18;15
Paul Sullivan
What was it like for you? You know, come the weekend? I mean, we all want a break. Was that, you know, what did you find a way with? With the other parents? Around 41. And the other parents in your community in New York to sort of, you know, take your kids on a playdate so you could just go get a cup of coffee for an hour, just go read the paper for an hour.

00;07;18;17 - 00;07;45;25
Nathan Richardson
So I I've been pretty good at finding a space for that. And again, I knew that I would need to recharge on the weekends. And so I had a weekend babysitter that would come. Yeah. And help me out so I can go running. And then so I could, read the paper to your point. And that babysitter was a great friend to this day, and someone we, the kids think is, like, the funnest person ever.

00;07;45;27 - 00;08;07;02
Nathan Richardson
And so we're, I was, I mean, I, I basically I wouldn't have wanted to hand off my collection if they had a playdate. Great. But I didn't want to want to, you know, pass around the the burden of the habit of playdates now that they're older. What I found is that they're doing tennis on the weekend and spending two hours there.

00;08;07;02 - 00;08;31;17
Nathan Richardson
And that's two hours I can walk out the tennis center, go for a run, get some shopping done. I've been reading the FFT every weekend. I'm able to do things that just are easy on my mind and my body, and I don't worry about it. It's too hard. Literally. I look at the weather all week long to hope that it is not raining on Saturday morning so I can have that two hour break.

00;08;31;20 - 00;08;41;22
Paul Sullivan
So are you telling me that we'll get to your move to Miami where they're playing tennis? But are you telling me that you're not standing courtside and yelling at your kids like, come on, scout it, dig it out? That that's that.

00;08;41;22 - 00;09;04;28
Nathan Richardson
You know, I, I at the risk of alienating the two parents that are at courtside at this private lesson, yelling at their kid, I am not and I, I, I withhold judgment on them for doing that. I that if that's how they want to raise their kid and what they want to be, how they want to be involved, good for them.

00;09;04;28 - 00;09;27;01
Nathan Richardson
But I think it would be I would be like the worst hockey dad. I would be like right in their face yelling and a great friend of mine who's another lead dad, named Jeff Miller, who's at Twitter, he's a coach. And he said to me, you know, the only thing you can say to your kids at the end of any game is, how do you feel?

00;09;27;01 - 00;09;27;19
Nathan Richardson
You did.

00;09;27;21 - 00;09;28;15
Paul Sullivan
Right?

00;09;28;17 - 00;09;40;00
Nathan Richardson
And I was like, oh my gosh, that's going to kill me. So I now have this discipline of saying, my kids, how do you feel you do? And all I get back is good.

00;09;40;03 - 00;10;03;05
Paul Sullivan
We've actually done that with, because our oldest is now starting to get great. She's in sixth grade and they didn't, you know, in ridiculous grades before, you know, proficient sufficient, you know, deficient. I don't know what they were. And and she's doing pretty well, but she'll come home and she'll say, you know, I got an A or I got an A minus or some days she'll come home and say, you know, she didn't understand something to say, I got an 82.

00;10;03;05 - 00;10;19;04
Paul Sullivan
Can you believe I got an 82? And fortunately both my wife and I are on the same page. And which we'll say, well, did you try your hardest? Yeah. Did you study? Yeah. All right. The 82 is the best you could do and that's fine, you know. But that just means that you probably have a little bit more to to learn.

00;10;19;09 - 00;10;42;23
Paul Sullivan
And we've been like that with all of our kids because I, we both know this mean life. Life is tough, like beat up. And, you know, you just I feel like you want to just instill in your kids to try the hardest you can. And when it comes to sports, we've done it where, you know, when my kids were younger, I was never the sort of courtside dad yelling, but I was a dad who insisted that they do certain things and it it didn't work.

00;10;42;23 - 00;11;01;05
Paul Sullivan
I was like, all right, what do you want to do? Like I thought, like, they should play soccer. You know, I was a horrible team sport athlete. Horrible. I only played individual sport. So I was like, dude, go play a team sport. Like, it'll teach you skills that I don't have. And they hated it. And so then we made this rule that was okay, you can't do nothing.

00;11;01;07 - 00;11;20;14
Paul Sullivan
You have to do something. But you need to pick what that something's going to be. And, you know, one of my daughters plays tennis. The other one is a swim, the other actually plays golf with me. So therefore, if she's listening, she's going to make out the best in the will. Come 40 years down the road. But it was like that sort of allowed, you know, to let them sort of feel some sense of, of empowerment.

00;11;20;14 - 00;11;26;00
Paul Sullivan
It wasn't like we were sort of saying, you must do this. It's like you have to do something. So, you know, make a choice.

00;11;26;03 - 00;11;29;08
Nathan Richardson
What do you do? Was that when you did that?

00;11;29;11 - 00;11;47;15
Paul Sullivan
I would say it was before the pandemic. It was before the pandemic, because. And and it worked better for the younger kids because, you know, you obviously have twins of the same age, but I, you know, I learned a lot from my first daughter. And I remember she was convinced she wanted to do this thing called the Parisi Speed School.

00;11;47;17 - 00;12;01;23
Paul Sullivan
And they're going to teach you how to run fast. And I was like, all right, you know, that's what you want to do. And she did the tryout for it and she made it. And I said, do you want to do this? And the guy was sitting there, he was like, Mister Parisi, speed guy. I said, yeah, sure, that'll do it.

00;12;01;24 - 00;12;25;00
Paul Sullivan
Okay. We get to be like the second, the second practice for the Parisi speeds got checked out. I hate it, I said, we're here. It will, but I didn't want to tell the guy. I didn't want to do it. And I said, well, guess what, Virginia, this is a wonderful lesson. Always speak your mind and know that your parents have paid a X amount of dollars for the speed school, so you'll be finishing the next nine sessions, but going forward, just be.

00;12;25;02 - 00;12;36;08
Paul Sullivan
And it was a great lesson for her because she hated it. We made her go, but after that she learned to sort of have a voice and she learned to say, you know what, I don't want to do this. I'm like, okay, that's fine. I'm glad you're telling me.

00;12;36;08 - 00;12;38;29
Nathan Richardson
Now tell me it was at 530 in the morning.

00;12;39;01 - 00;12;53;20
Paul Sullivan
No it wasn't, it was four. It was like it was actually it was like Friday at like 5:00. And so. And it was at the Y and I, it was a low there for me. I'd go get a cup of coffee and relax and read and watch you do it. And she, she's a trouper. She had at it.

00;12;53;20 - 00;13;04;01
Paul Sullivan
But you know, she complained before and she complained after. But what's you know, it taught her valuable lesson of, you know, don't just say yes to something you don't want to do, particularly you don't have to do it.

00;13;04;03 - 00;13;20;26
Nathan Richardson
So we're I'm living through that. My kids wanted to do the running club and my I should say my son does because he likes to be a fast runner. And that requires we get up at 615, we're at the door at 630. And his sister said, well, I'm going to do it if he's doing it. But she doesn't want to keep doing it.

00;13;20;26 - 00;13;40;29
Nathan Richardson
And I'm like, well, there's only one me in the morning. You're they're doing it all together, all for one or, you know, one for all. And she either do it or he doesn't do it. And so I said next year we can evaluate what we do. But I'm not, you know, going back and forth and back and forth just because you've changed your mind.

00;13;40;29 - 00;13;44;19
Nathan Richardson
So clearly running clubs hit a nerve with, young girls.

00;13;44;25 - 00;14;01;03
Paul Sullivan
With little kids. I love it, and it taught me about that. You know, the having, you know, twins. But one boy, one girl, but obviously the same age, you know, and how you split up, they're they're going to have different interests. And the older they get, the more their interests are going to diverge. But as you said, there's just one you.

00;14;01;03 - 00;14;13;28
Paul Sullivan
And in why you've been fortunate to have some help, some babysitters here and there, you want to be there. So how do you balance that, to let them do what they want to do, but also check it against reality that, you know, we haven't clone anything yet.

00;14;14;00 - 00;14;37;06
Nathan Richardson
It was it was a lot easier pre-pandemic for sure, because it was easy to have playdates for him and playdates, or he wanted to do this activity and she wanted to do this activity, and things were open and they were in different classes as well. Since the pandemic, the schools have put them in the same class, and we were pretty much together as a unit for, you know, last year a half.

00;14;37;06 - 00;15;05;06
Nathan Richardson
So we've spent a lot of time together. But what's been interesting is that they they have developed different interests. So she would be happy to spend all her time reading a Kindle. And he would be happy, you know, doing boy things, you know, taking things apart and putting back together. You know very I'm stereotyping but like very much like, you know bonehead things that little boys do, you know.

00;15;05;09 - 00;15;09;09
Nathan Richardson
Thanks a lot because that's like the best invention and so.

00;15;09;11 - 00;15;11;28
Paul Sullivan
So so do I Nathan. And I'm 48.

00;15;12;00 - 00;15;34;00
Nathan Richardson
So they it's a little boys do the same thing. Right. That's what he wants to do. And she wants to read a book. And she's like why is he doing that with with them again. You know, so he's he's that's the way it is. And in terms of interests, I do try to have them break up and do different things.

00;15;34;00 - 00;16;03;04
Nathan Richardson
And either I'll take one away for an hour and the other one will stay with the nanny, and then we'll switch. So I try to find ways to get them apart. But it is, it's it's hard. It's not like, it's not like we've set up a standing date and I've some great parents who, who told me, you know, with twins, you've got to find individual time with each of them so that they are able to really flourish and have that distinct relationship with you.

00;16;03;06 - 00;16;22;01
Paul Sullivan
Yeah. You know, one of the things you've heard me say this, but at the Company of Dads, I'm trying to create a community, a community for lead that. But when you have children, so much of your, your, your community is that that town, that neighborhood where you live, like the town where I live in Connecticut? It's perfectly fine.

00;16;22;02 - 00;16;44;13
Paul Sullivan
It's nice, but, you know, are there other towns that are just as nice for raising my kids? Of course. But to move would be difficult because we have these these connections in the community. They have their friends. You obviously have that, living in New York, the 41, group, and you had those connections. But tell me about what happened in the pandemic that you said, you know, I want to try something different.

00;16;44;13 - 00;16;54;16
Paul Sullivan
I want to I want to give up the slushy streets and the subway for, you know, the sun and beach and, you know, afternoon tennis of of Miami.

00;16;54;18 - 00;17;22;00
Nathan Richardson
So it does sound cliche, but we were visiting Miami the weekend the school shut down, and the friend we were staying with said, why are you going back to walk up in New York City? That's 1000ft² with two kids. This will pass in two weeks. Just stay with me for two weeks. Well, it obviously didn't last two weeks, and I got a very quick view of how things were going to go down with the schools and with what was happening in the city.

00;17;22;00 - 00;17;47;04
Nathan Richardson
So we just stayed and we I made the call that 1st June that based on my experience with how the education system was faring, I thought it would be better off staying here in Florida and having more space. Yeah. And it was, it was a very emotional call. I mean, you know, you don't just leave someone after after 20 years, but, it's been a great thing.

00;17;47;04 - 00;18;11;06
Nathan Richardson
The schools are open. The, you know, for better or worse, Miami has been a pretty functioning place the entire pandemic. There's some quiet moments, but it's been very vibrant. I mean, there's been traffic for much longer than I think there has anywhere else. And fortunately, you know, knock on wood, we've been safe. So the weather is great, the kids are happy, the school is great.

00;18;11;08 - 00;18;38;15
Nathan Richardson
It has been slower, partly because of the pandemic and meeting a community of people that have that have kids. So we've started building more friendships with other parents and that have kids and hanging out with them. But, you know, I'm a New Yorker. I was note sider a top of that. My construct isn't usual. It's not easy to say, oh, let's have a couples dinner when I'd be the third wheel, or you know, who.

00;18;38;17 - 00;19;00;14
Nathan Richardson
How did you have these kids? There's so many questions that have to be answered in order to understand who I am as a we are as a family, you know. Did you adopt these kids? Did your wife, did you have a partner? Did you go through surrogacy? So all those sort of things have been, you know, left unanswered for a lot of people who may.

00;19;00;17 - 00;19;13;20
Paul Sullivan
And are you saying that those are questions that get get asked more in a Miami versus or New York, or they get asked more because people are now meeting you with your kids who are eight years old, as posted, knowing you with your kids from the day they were born.

00;19;13;22 - 00;19;38;00
Nathan Richardson
It's the latter. So people are just like, how did this all happen? You know, we moved in. A neighbor said, I don't know. And she finally said, like, how long have you and Damaris been together? Damaris the nanny? And I'm like, no, she's not my wife. She's the kid's nanny. And the mom was like, oh, I was so confused how this all was happening.

00;19;38;00 - 00;19;56;06
Nathan Richardson
And I'm like, so there's a lot of confusion around, like, who are these people? And how did that family come to be and what's the backstory? And so I've done more of just educating people on who we are as a family. And it's been as simple as sending a Christmas card or a holiday card with, you know, family picture.

00;19;56;06 - 00;19;58;05
Nathan Richardson
So they can see this is who we are.

00;19;58;12 - 00;20;18;20
Paul Sullivan
Yeah. And look, as parents, as dads, we're sort of hardwired to protect their children and to sort of, you know, examine to to the world. Has this been something that's been something you've had to deal with more, or has it affected your your son and daughter as well, or are they just. Yeah.

00;20;18;21 - 00;20;34;16
Nathan Richardson
To to know my kids have been pretty I think kids are pretty resilient. And I think they are much more resilient than we give them credit for. They've been great through the pandemic. They they know that I'm always going to be here. They know that they have each other. They know school is a constant, that we have activities that we have.

00;20;34;21 - 00;20;56;25
Nathan Richardson
You know, we stay in touch with family and we stay in touch with friends. You know, I think if anything, you know, they haven't seen as many of my friends around or who who my social network is, and that's partly on me. I was waiting to get through the pandemic, so we're it's it's coming together. It's a little more, you know, to 20 years in New York and all of a sudden I'm like, starting fresh in Miami.

00;20;56;28 - 00;21;17;05
Paul Sullivan
Yeah, yeah. When you told me a story a while ago about going to Parents Night at your kid's school in Miami, and you showed up and you were, you know, not the only just not the only dad there, the only dad there. And now, you know, and telling me that story, I realize that that probably wasn't something that happened when you were in New York.

00;21;17;08 - 00;21;34;01
Paul Sullivan
And again, that's something that you, as the father, are dealing with your kids or at home in bed. You know, kids don't go to parents night. But has it gotten better in the months that you've been in Miami and the months that your kids have been in the Miami school to sort of, you know, become part of of the community?

00;21;34;03 - 00;21;59;02
Nathan Richardson
Totally. So it, you know, it was, eye opener the if Miami Beach is a suburb, effectively, it's no different. It's not a city. New York City is like people have jobs and careers and families are, you know, working. Both parents are working or they're, you know, everyone's involved in the parents are very involved in Miami is it's a little bit more traditional.

00;21;59;05 - 00;22;27;09
Nathan Richardson
And, you know, there it so the construct is a little different to go to parents night. But it turns out, I mean, since that time I've definitely met other parents through going to now the birthday party circuit is back meeting parents where their moms and dads and getting to know them. And, interestingly, one of the dads who we've had playdates with, I'd never I said I'd never seen him on the the WhatsApp group for the class.

00;22;27;12 - 00;22;50;05
Nathan Richardson
And all of a sudden he's showing up and he's, you know, he's a successful lawyer and his wife works. And it's just been it like gives me a sense of like relief that I'm not the only dad on the WhatsApp group because last year it was like, hey moms, you know, did you get the homework? Or hey, mom's never there's no acknowledgment that there might not, might be someone who doesn't have a mom.

00;22;50;08 - 00;23;07;28
Paul Sullivan
So I am this is I'm doing my third tour as a class parent for my daughters. And the first one I did sort of. I went in not knowing anything, and it's like, why not? You know, my wife said, why don't you do it? I don't have time to do this. Yeah, I'll do this. Why not? I got daughters, I could see that there could be a class dad.

00;23;07;28 - 00;23;27;11
Paul Sullivan
And so the first one was was it was fine. It was just fine. But then having done it for one, the middle child said, well, dad, you have to do it for me. That I said, okay, I did it for her. But this is back in elementary school now. My daughter's in sixth grade and she asked me, you know, last year says, dad, will you be the class dad?

00;23;27;11 - 00;23;47;29
Paul Sullivan
Will you be the class parent? I'm thinking to myself, am I going to say no? I would never say no, but I'll do it. And this is, you know, can I where we live in Connecticut, pretty traditional town, and everything is on zoom. And we have the first meeting and everyone's there and, they announce, yeah, everyone says a name and it says, okay, class.

00;23;47;29 - 00;24;13;14
Paul Sullivan
Mom, so good to have you here. Class moms. And I was like, and dad, like, hey, all right, moms, we're going to do like I say, this thing on this fucking thing. And dad, look down the ball guy and the only ball person on this call and that and you know, I've have a decent halfway decent the humor and I've tried to make light of it, but it's still like this perception that, you know, a class parent is really a synonym for, a class mom.

00;24;13;14 - 00;24;25;21
Paul Sullivan
And this is a, you know, this is a, you know, liberal minded school that that, you know, talks about all the, you know, right minded things you should be talking about. Yet the idea of a class dad, I mean, I might as well be a dodo bird like. Right.

00;24;25;24 - 00;24;45;09
Nathan Richardson
You know, it's very like the, the, the WhatsApp group this year is a little different, but the, the moms thing it's it's no no no no, I would never like you. I would never say anything. This is not it's not my position to go make a statement here and say, hey I don't feel included, but I mean, I'm still going to be on the WhatsApp group.

00;24;45;16 - 00;24;46;13
Nathan Richardson
Yeah.

00;24;46;15 - 00;25;15;18
Paul Sullivan
I've, I've often joked anything that, you know, one of the loneliest places in the world for a dad to be is on a playground with this child. And the playground is filled with moms and caregivers like, nobody talks to the dad. Is there, a Miami beach, a South Beach equivalent of that? Or once you get your kids, instead of taking them to the stupid park with the same old, you know, jungle gym, if you take them to the beach, is it, you know, do you find the jokes aside, that it's a little more accepting, a little more free, and they're having a little bit more fun?

00;25;15;20 - 00;25;33;15
Nathan Richardson
Hey, hey, so a couple things I have made a point of, like killing everyone with kindness. So if I was at the playground, I'd go talk to the nannies because they're always on one side, and I go talk to the moms and chat with them or the dads, and it was it took me a little while to get over that.

00;25;33;15 - 00;25;51;25
Nathan Richardson
Like, I'm not going to let this become a thing. I'll just go say hello to everyone. And here in Miami, it's one of those things where I am going to show up if there's a class party or an event for, a great example this year was, trick or treat, which I didn't know what that was. I googled it.

00;25;51;28 - 00;25;55;15
Nathan Richardson
I mean, you could have a whole magazine and Wikipedia on trunk or treat.

00;25;55;17 - 00;25;58;06
Paul Sullivan
Is it like candy in somebody's trunk right now? Am I missing?

00;25;58;08 - 00;26;12;14
Nathan Richardson
No, it's, it's it's full on competitive. So they take the school parking lot and parents get dressed and dress the trunk of their car, and then all the kids in the school come out and get candy truck.

00;26;12;17 - 00;26;13;21
Paul Sullivan
Oh my goodness.

00;26;13;23 - 00;26;15;13
Nathan Richardson
It's Siri. Google it. It's crazy.

00;26;15;18 - 00;26;19;18
Paul Sullivan
Were you able we able to keep up. Did you you had some competition there you know.

00;26;19;21 - 00;26;36;19
Nathan Richardson
Oh I was in Miami. It was I, I, I the spots were signed by the PTA president so I may not have been, I may not have had like the inside track. So I had the last space in the lot, which was fine because I had I was next.

00;26;36;20 - 00;26;43;12
Paul Sullivan
To Miss Mr. Richardson. You'll be number 532. Right over here by the dumpster. Like what? What? How did I get.

00;26;43;14 - 00;26;56;15
Nathan Richardson
To the cops? My kids loved it. They loved it. I was doing it, and I said I made a point of going around saying it was all moms, except for this one guy next to me, Elliot, who was amazing. He was like, super. Whoa, whoa.

00;26;56;15 - 00;27;02;07
Paul Sullivan
Wait wait wait. They put Elliot next to you. So they put the two dads next to the cops for trunk or treat.

00;27;02;09 - 00;27;26;08
Nathan Richardson
Yeah, I didn't even think of that. But Elliot played a game. Elliot like, collects cars. So he shows up with like, this, like Scooby Doo van puts up a tent and puts on a full on Darth Vader costume. So, like, I could have, like, you know, I could have had, like, been giving kids goblins and he would have looked great.

00;27;26;10 - 00;27;42;14
Nathan Richardson
But he was amazing. He I actually and he's like, he's a car guy. And he was into my car and he's like, you need to go get it ceramic coated. And it was just like an easy conversation. I him a drop off my car was he's like, yeah, your car was on there. Instagram is so cool. So glad that worked out.

00;27;42;14 - 00;27;53;15
Nathan Richardson
And like but then the moms like, you know, like, they all had their own. They have their own, like, you know, organism of hierarchy. And who says hello to who? I just say hello to all of them.

00;27;53;20 - 00;27;54;27
Paul Sullivan
Right.

00;27;54;29 - 00;28;05;17
Nathan Richardson
And try to chat with all of them in like, when there were breaks. I'd go chat with other people. And I'm not like, Mr. Extrovert or like, I have to go chat with people, but I'm like, I'm gonna make a point of like, getting to know people here.

00;28;05;19 - 00;28;08;27
Paul Sullivan
I got to ask, what was your costume? If you're standing next to the theater?

00;28;08;29 - 00;28;13;08
Nathan Richardson
Oh my gosh, now that you say that, what was my costume? I did, I dress.

00;28;13;14 - 00;28;17;12
Paul Sullivan
I have I always go as group grew, it grew from Despicable Me. That's an easy one for me.

00;28;17;12 - 00;28;23;24
Nathan Richardson
Like, oh, I know, I was like, I was like a village person. I was the village guy with, like, the the big headdress.

00;28;23;27 - 00;28;24;29
Paul Sullivan
All right.

00;28;25;01 - 00;28;44;00
Nathan Richardson
So I tried I mean, I tried it, it was. I mean, the cops were the cops were great to talk to to the to, the officer. Three kids we talked about, got to talk to the teachers, and I made a point of chatting with moms. And. Yeah, there were the usual meltdowns of, like, the bickering of the moms between each other and some of that.

00;28;44;00 - 00;28;59;07
Nathan Richardson
And, like, why am I in that spot? Not that spot. And I was just like, you know, or you didn't call me when my kids were cut, class was coming up like, well, you were supposed to be here all day. Like you're not supposed to leave your nanny at your Tesla hair done.

00;28;59;10 - 00;29;02;09
Paul Sullivan
You got to refill the candy. You can't. You can't leave it unattended.

00;29;02;09 - 00;29;12;08
Nathan Richardson
She was yelling at the PTA president. Like, you realize you're never get invited to anything. Like you can not cross the PTA mafia. And you just. Did.

00;29;12;10 - 00;29;13;28
Paul Sullivan
You just. Yeah. You're dead. You're dead.

00;29;13;29 - 00;29;33;24
Nathan Richardson
I'm like, just be nice and smile and give out candy and be done with trunk or treat. But it was a great way for me to meet folks and get insights into who's who. And, you know, I don't think it was intentional that I was at the end a lot with the only other dad. But if it is, hey, we had a great time.

00;29;33;26 - 00;29;36;23
Paul Sullivan
Next year, you get a t shirt. This is amateur theater. You'd be fine.

00;29;36;25 - 00;29;54;00
Nathan Richardson
Okay. And by the way, Elliot, not only did his van was the Scooby Doo van Paul, he brought a fan. So it's like you're in the Miami sun, and he. And he brings a, like, electric blower. So everyone's come by to, like, get into his van to cool off, and I'm like, I'm like.

00;29;54;01 - 00;30;03;10
Paul Sullivan
You get out of here. You got to up your game. You can't just be like the, you know, the New Yorker who comes down and thinks, hey, I'm from New York like this. This guy sounds like he had Darth Vader, had game.

00;30;03;12 - 00;30;19;21
Nathan Richardson
He had. Oh, his game was serious. Serious like, I mean, and by the way, he's he didn't really decorate the van. He just put, like, a plastic thing up. Yeah, but he had a tent around it. And like the tent that goes with the van, I was like, forget it.

00;30;19;23 - 00;30;20;08
Paul Sullivan
Nathan is.

00;30;20;08 - 00;30;24;00
Nathan Richardson
Awesome. He's kind of become a, like, my Drop-Off buddy.

00;30;24;02 - 00;30;31;15
Paul Sullivan
I love it. Nathan, thanks so much for being on the company of dad's podcast. One last question. Are you Florida man forever?

00;30;31;15 - 00;30;35;21
Nathan Richardson
Now, that's a big TBD ball, I think. Okay.

00;30;35;23 - 00;30;37;15
Paul Sullivan
All right, that'll be for the next one.

00;30;37;17 - 00;30;39;17
Nathan Richardson
Yeah. Anyway, great seeing you. Thanks.

00;30;39;17 - 00;30;40;01
Paul Sullivan
Thanks, buddy.