Thrive Solo

The One Where I Talk To Professor & Creator Of The Burned Haystack Method, Jennie Young

Lucy Meggeson Season 1 Episode 216

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 1:21:06

Send us Fan Mail

My guest this week is the brilliant Jennie Young, a professor of rhetoric at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay, specialising in applied rhetoric, humour, and feminism. 

When Jennie found herself stepping into the world of dating apps following her divorce, she was shocked by the bizarre communication habits that had become normal in online dating. As a rhetoric professor specialising in critical discourse analysis, she realised that she could use her training to decode patterns and protect herself from offensive messages and terrible dates. Jennie started cataloging what she saw and began to experiment with her own profile. As a result, although the messages coming slowed to a crawl, the ones that got through were solid matches. 

From this was born her Burned Haystack Method, a ruthless approach to online dating that I personally think is not only brilliant, but also the only way to date if you’re going to be on the apps. In February 2023, Jennie started a free Facebook group to teach other women this approach and today the community is  more than 250,000 strong. You guys are going to LOVE this episode because whether you’re dating or not, if you’re a woman who has date men, you’re going to be nodding your head and rolling your eyes as you listen to this conversation. Jennie’s brand new book, Burn The Haystack, is out TODAY if you’re in North America, and it’s out on 23rd April if you’re in the UK.

02:15 Meet Jennie Young

05:02 Jenny Origin Story

07:12 Why Apps Feel Awful

08:56 Burned Haystack Begins

12:36 Bad Advice Women Get

15:31 Needle in Haystack Metaphor

17:28 Rules and Discourse Analysis

23:46 Rhetorical Red Flags

31:08 Block to Burn Rule

36:21 No Pen Pals

40:08 Safety and Location Settings

41:16 Geography Matters

41:56 Ludic Looping Trap

47:33 Dating Like Job Search

49:01 Book And Method

50:56 Top Red Flags

56:38 Green Flags And Profiles

58:34 Being Ruthless Works

01:01:12 Women Give Chances

01:06:34 Method Beyond Dating

01:08:16 Her Success Story

01:10:51 Chemistry And Spark

Check out Jennie's website: https://www.jennieyoung.com/

Buy Jennie's book, Burn The Haystack: https://www.jennieyoung.com/burn-the-haystack-book

But the book on Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Burn-Haystack-Decode-Dating-Matter/dp/0063447576

Join the Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/9116647515019601/

Support the show

  • Buy my book, SHINY HAPPY SINGLES (UK) / THRIVE SOLO (US & Canada) at: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book


  • Join my membership community for single women, Thrive Solo: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/thrivesolo


  • Download my FREE PDF 'Top 10 Comebacks for the Most
    Annoying Questions Single Women Get Asked'
  •  Go to: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/comebacks


  • Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thrivesolowithlucymeggeson 



  • Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivesolowithlucymeggeson/


  • Email me: lucy@lucymeggeson.com 

And thank you so much for listening!