Winning the War Against Food in Your 50s (Client Confessional with Sharlette)

Are you ready to be inspired by a life-changing health journey? One that has been decades in the making...

In this episode, I'm joined by Sharlette, my past client, and she opens up about her lifelong battle with weight and diet, from struggling in her teens and drinking SlimFast, taking weight loss injections in her 20s to binge eating in her 50s.

We discussed Sharlette's diet history, why now was the perfect time for her to make a lifelong change and how my program Nourished & Free supported her to eat freely, find joy in moving her body, and be free from the shackles of weight loss pressure.

Ready to embark on your path to feeling free from the food noise clogging your brain? Let Sharlette's story inspire you to take that first step. Hit play now and be ready to be inspired!

TOPICS COVERED 👇
Sharlette's Journey with Food (00:01:23)
Struggling with Diets (00:02:49)
Binge Eating in High School (05:55)
Struggles with Weight Loss (08:18)
Negative Relationship with Food (11:10)
Initial Thoughts About Nourished and Free Program (14:21)
Sharlette's Transformation in her Approach to Food (17:54)
Physical and Mental Changes (21:54)
Freedom from Dieting (23:36)
Finding Joy in Exercise (25:32)
Advice for Joining the Program (27:15)
Long-term Transformation and Freedom (33:18)
Intuitive Eating and Structure (40:08)
Moving Forward and Self-coaching (46:13)

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Transcript

Michelle (00:00:01) - Welcome to Nourished and Free The Podcast, a show dedicated to helping you create a healthy and realistic relationship around food, your body and all things wellness. I'm your host, Michelle Yates, a registered dietitian specializing in eating disorders and disordered eating, as well as health psychology. If you're new here, welcome to what might possibly be your new favorite show? If you enjoy digging into topics like nutrition and mental health, we talk about that a lot here. You'll love the show if you're interested in topics like eating disorders, debunking popular wellness trends, body image, food psychology, and any other challenges that we face today with our relationship with food, be sure you subscribe so you won't miss when a new dose of nourishing free magic drops. Let's dig into today's episode. Welcome back! I'm so excited to have a past client with me today, Sharlette. She's here to share her story about working with me in Nourish and Free, and I am super excited to just catch up with you because it's been we're just saying this.

Michelle (00:00:58) - It's been two, almost three months since you finished. Six months since you started. Yes. So this is like, I love when I get to connect with clients who have finished and they're living their life. They're doing the thing now because this is where I get to really see, like, did it work?

Sharlette (00:01:18) - You know, like so far, that's good.

Michelle (00:01:23) - So yeah, why don't you just kind of like, tell us a little bit about who you are?, give us a little overview of of who you are as a person. As much as you're comfortable with sharing, you don't need to give us your Social Security code or anything.

Sharlette (00:01:37) - Oh, good., also, I'm,. I will just be honest. I'm in my early 50s, so there's a lot of life, but,, briefly, I,, I work from home, which is awesome. I recommend it to anybody that is thinking about working from home. I agree, it's excellent. Do it. It's the best.

Sharlette (00:01:59) - , too bad that wasn't an option when I was younger, but I'm loving it now. Now?, yeah. I'm married, no kids, but I have two dogs that are my children., since we're talking about nutrition and all of that going back to childhood, I started gaining weight in fourth grade. We won't go into the psychology of all the reasons why, but I became an emotional eater, a stress eater, and everything eater a I don't think I had binge eating until high school, but I was overweight from starting in fourth grade. All the way to now,, with a brief period of about seven years when I lost £100., doing low calorie. 1200 calories a day,, and exercising six days a week.

Michelle (00:02:49) - Sounds fun. Yeah., sounds like you had a really good quality of life.

Sharlette (00:02:54) - I don't know why anyone thinks. And even me. Even me. I have a friend who,. If she listens to this later, we'll go. Oh, she's talking about me.

Sharlette (00:03:04) - Who used to ask me. Why are you only eating half a banana? Yeah.

Michelle (00:03:08) - Oh, I used to do that too, though. Yes.

Sharlette (00:03:11) - There's too many calories in this banana. I can't, I can't have it, but I can have half a banana. Like. But you can have a whole banana. Wild, right?

Michelle (00:03:21) - Yeah.

Sharlette (00:03:22) - So over the years I did everything starting with SlimFast in like 1987 as a teenager, all the way to Weight Watchers. I did some kind of weird injections when I was in my 20s of like, no, no, no, not. I,, I don't even know. Honestly, I don't even know. I went with my mom to some doctor. You had to. Yeah, you had to take a tablespoon of this weird chocolate mint syrup before you ate a meal because it was supposed to curb your appetite ness. All the things, Michelle. All the things. Weight watchers multiple times.

Michelle (00:04:05) - Well, you know what's crazy about those things, though, is that they will recirculate.

Michelle (00:04:09) - Like that might have been a thing. Yes, 30 years ago. But it will come back. Like I'm already seeing weird things, even just like with apple cider vinegar. Like. Oh, yes, I really believe that if you take a shot of that before you eat a meal, that it's going to like melt the fat away off of your body and you're going to have zero calorie intake, even though you just ate 300 cat like, it's just I did that.

Sharlette (00:04:31) - I did that as well. Do you know how how how awful it is to drink apple cider? It's awful. Don't don't drink it. And it's bad for your teeth. Just don't.

Michelle (00:04:41) - Do it. Literally no reason.

Sharlette (00:04:43) - No. Yeah. So yeah. Weight watchers, SlimFast, Noom, clean eating keto, low carb, low fat, low, the whole thing. Yeah. So I think that's where I was right before I discovered you was I was in this mental confusion about what are you even what are what am I even supposed to eat like.

Michelle (00:05:08) - Yeah.

Sharlette (00:05:08) - I don't even know anymore. There's too many too many options. What do you even. What do you even do anymore?

Michelle (00:05:16) - Yeah, right. Because, like, depending on what diet you do or even lifestyle quote unquote, like the rules change and so on, one diet it bananas might be too many calories, but on the other you might be eating only bananas. And so it's so confusing. Yes. Can feel like debilitating. Yeah. You know, I want to circle back. You mentioned that in I think you said high school. You started binging. Would you mind sharing kind of what that looked like for you? Because some people aren't. I know a lot of people listening to this will be like, I don't know if I binge or like what that looks like. So do you mind kind of walking us through how that looked for you?

Sharlette (00:05:55) - So,, even from early childhood, I was what was called a latchkey kid back in the day. I don't know if we still use that term, but my mom and stepfather at the time worked.

Sharlette (00:06:07) - And so I was,, my brother and I were home alone a lot,, kind of fending for yourself kind of thing. For me, the binge eating was in the forms of eating an entire family sized bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos., like not being able to stop just getting the bag and just eating. And as you're doing it, you're realizing I should not be eating a family sized bag of Doritos, but you just.

Michelle (00:06:38) - Yeah.

Sharlette (00:06:39) - Keep going. And then the I would I was never I don't I wouldn't consider myself, like bulimic and definitely not anorexic but I never okay I probably tried to made I probably tried it in high school but never purged., but then you just feel miserable and horrible afterwards. Why did I do that? I'm so sad. I'm horrible. I'm this. I'm that kind of feelings. And then, you know, you maybe go, okay, rein that in. And then a week later you do it again... Eat an entire bag of,, chocolate chips that are meant to make cookies with.

Sharlette (00:07:22) - But no, you just sat there and ate an entire bag of chocolate chips.

Michelle (00:07:27) - Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. So did you. There was like this conscious. Or maybe subconscious a thought of like, I shouldn't be doing this, but yeah, you couldn't stop. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Sharlette (00:07:39) - Yeah. And sometimes not even a thought of I shouldn't be doing this. Just. Whatever the need was at the time emotional, mental, whatever. That was soothing that at the time. And so you just you just kept doing it, but definitely felt horrible afterwards.

Michelle (00:07:59) - Yeah, yeah.

Sharlette (00:08:00) - Knowing that's not the right thing to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Michelle (00:08:05) - So around the time that that we started working together, was bingeing still happening. Were you. Yeah. Like kind of. What did your relationship with food look like after so many years of going through phases?

Sharlette (00:08:18) - Yeah. So I had I think I mentioned I had lost over £100 in,, in 2004 or 5 somewhere in there.

Sharlette (00:08:30) - And I kept it off for a number of years, but only by the strict 1200 calories a day diet and working out six times a week, I actually became a fitness instructor. So then that kept me. Teaching six times a week, and which then I looked at later and I was like, that means if I was burning 600 calories in a class and I was only eating 1200 calories a day. No wonder I lost weight. I was only netting 600 calories of food a day. Like that's insane.

Michelle (00:09:07) - We forget about the exercise piece.

Sharlette (00:09:09) - Yes. That's insane, that's insane. I look back at that and I'm like, oh my gosh, no wonder. Also, I will mention I was hungry all the time on 1200 calories. I did it, but I was hungry all the time. But I sustained a knee injury a few years ago and went through a couple of knee surgeries, and so my exercise level dropped significantly. My weight started coming on. So by the time I found you, I was bingeing.

Sharlette (00:09:46) - , probably once or twice a month. Not that often with bingeing, I think, as I've gotten older. The you shouldn't be doing this would hit me earlier in a binge, and I would be able to stop. But still, binge eating at all is not a good thing. I was in a restrict binge cycle of, so I would find a diet and I would be really stripped. And then. I would be eating spinach salads every day and be like, I just want a frickin cheeseburger. And then I would quit and just go full on pizza and hamburgers and cookies and eat all the things all the time. And it was a miserable cycle to repeat. I'm pretty sure there are people out there that can relate to that, but it was. I was an all or nothing. I'm either all in. Don't even get a cookie near me. I can't even eat a half a banana. Or I was all out. Give me all the things.

Michelle (00:11:02) - Yeah. So how did that consistent cycle I mean, emotionally and mentally, where do you think that put.

Sharlette (00:11:10) - You in a very negative place. Because it's impossible. Because your your focus becomes food and losing weight. And that consumes 90% at least of your brain space is. Get on the scale. Oh, crap, I gained weight, okay, I can eat nothing but lemon and water today. Like, because I gained £2 or. Oh, I lost weight. Okay, I can be a little bit relaxed. Like my day was determined by whatever that number on the scale was. How good am I going to be or how bad everything was good and bad it was. There was no neutrality, which we, you know, learn and nourished and free. But there was none of that for me, right? I was either being good or I was being bad, depending on what I was eating and that desire not even to be healthy, which is now my mindset, but to be thin, thinner, I need to be thinner. This number is too big. It needs to be less.

Michelle (00:12:21) - Yeah, we use that about like the scale dictating the rest of the day for you is so relatable.

Michelle (00:12:27) - I remember the being the exact same way I. Yeah like depending on what that said. Yeah. Even to the it changes your mood. Yeah it does. It literally controls you. And if I was happy with it then you get that like, oh, I can relax more. I can have a cheeseburger tonight, whatever. But because of that all or nothing mentality, it's much more than that. It ends up being much more than that. And then the next day you're unhappy with what it said because you think that you gained £5 of just fat. You know, it's like, yeah, that's not what that is. But in our brain we think it is. And it's yeah, it's that's not.

Sharlette (00:13:04) - How your body works. But yeah, that's what. And then just the negative,, negative self-talk, talking to myself in a just horrible way. And there's, you know, you hear people say, would you talk to your friend that way? And no, I absolutely would not say to a friend the things that I was saying to myself and that kind of was bleeding over into my marriage, where my husband would be upset at the way I talked about myself.

Sharlette (00:13:34) - So yeah.

Michelle (00:13:36) - Yeah.

Sharlette (00:13:37) - And then you came across my Instagram feed.

Michelle (00:13:41) - Yeah, yeah.

Sharlette (00:13:42) - It's nutrition thanks to doctor. Thanks to Doctor Ed's by the way.

Michelle (00:13:46) - Oh shout out to doctor we love is he's the best. We love doctor. It's. Yeah I got a couple episodes with him on the on the show. Yeah. So what I'm curious about the in Sharlette is you've tried so many different things for decades, and I mean, from what it sounds like, each new thing you came across, you would try it out, right? Yeah. So by the time you found me, was there a sense of, like, fear or like, what if this doesn't work like everything else? Like, how is this any different? Was there any sense of that going on? I think I had.

Sharlette (00:14:21) - Gotten to the place of realizing that the core issue wasn't the number on the scale or what my weight was the core issue was the relationship I had with food and my body. So when I started looking at the stuff for your program, knowing and I told my husband, I told my friend, this is not a weight loss program.

Sharlette (00:14:50) - I am not doing this with the result being I'm going to lose weight like I knew. That's not my goal here. My goal is.

Michelle (00:15:02) - I.

Sharlette (00:15:02) - Have got to get off this merry go round. Yeah, and I have tried losing weight to do it and that's not the way to do it. I've got to fix what is. In my brain in relation to my body and to food.

Michelle (00:15:20) - Yeah. So there was like this sense of, okay, this is different because it's not just hyper fixated on the scale like everything else has been for the past few decades. Yeah. Yeah. Which is good. And I think there's, there's people who can do that and they're fine. And it's not a big deal. Like they can track calories or do Weight Watchers and weigh themselves on the scale every day. And it not. Affect them life or put them in that cycle. But there's definitely people who who can, like, be okay with stuff like that and and not trigger them. But then there's also this other side where.

Michelle (00:15:57) - Hyper. Fixating on your weight does send you into those cycles depending on the person that you are in your personality. And so there's some individuals who just need to back off on like that being their focus. It's not because we don't care about health still or we don't care about like you. Being healthy.

Sharlette (00:16:18) - But yeah, I still I still went in feeling like I'm heavier than I want to be. Yeah, but I thought my thought was if I'm ever going to get past this kind of life of super strict and then relaxed, super strict and relaxed, I just want to, I suppose my thought was I just want to live and not think about if I eat this French fry. I'm going to gain £2 tonight. Like I was tired of that. Yeah. And so I still so during the program I still would mentally struggle sometimes with. But I still kind of want to lose weight. You know, I still want to be thinner.

Michelle (00:17:06) - Yeah, yeah. But there's, there's a reality of like that can be a desire.

Michelle (00:17:11) - But like what we do with that desire can sometimes actually inhibit that goal. And so yes, like taking some time to focus on the deeper things. And maybe that leads to weight loss. Maybe you can go back to doing some things later that will lead to weight loss. And no, a big thing for you know. Yeah. There you go.

Sharlette (00:17:30) - Don't don't wanna have have zero desire to do anything that I did before.

Michelle (00:17:37) - Well okay. Well let me ask you this because I know people are going to some people are going to be listening to this and be like, well then are you even healthy? So do you feel like you're you do you feel like you're taking care of yourself after taking time to dig into your relationship with food and your body?

Sharlette (00:17:54) - It's so funny how when you change that. I can't have this mentality to letting yourself have the things you don't. I'm not saying you don't crave them because you do, but there's not that., I don't I.

Michelle (00:18:16) - Don't know if.

Sharlette (00:18:16) - Obsessive is the word, but for example, I would only allow myself to have dove dark chocolate because dark chocolate is heart healthy.

Sharlette (00:18:27) - So if I was going to have a treat, I could only have dove dark chocolate. I made my husband keep it hidden because I didn't trust myself that I wouldn't go and eat. Ten 1220 Dove Dark chocolates. Yeah, I have a bag of them in my pantry now. It's three quarters of the bag full. I occasionally go in there and grab one, because I just need a little piece of chocolate and walk away. I don't have the fear or anxiety that I'm going to eat that entire bag of chocolate. I used to not have chips or cereal or any of the foods that were bad that I might. Ben. John? Yeah. I just didn't buy them. They're all in my house now. I have chips and crackers and nuts and. And I don't have the desire to go in there and eat them all in one sitting, which is what I may have done before. Yeah, and my nutrition. Because I can have those things. Is. So much better now. I think one of the things that I don't want to spoiler alert that people will, if people join your program, they will hear this in the program.

Sharlette (00:19:59) - But yeah, one of the things that hit home so much for me and I just have it in my brain all the time, is think about what is your body want? Great. What is your body want? Cheeseburger. How does that going to make your body feel.. Well obviously if you eat cheeseburgers and fries and pizza and all that every day, all day you're going to feel pretty crummy.. Throw in some green beans I don't know. But you know you're going to feel crummy if you eat that consistently. So do I want a cheeseburger sometimes. Yeah. But guess what. Most of the time now I eat half a cheeseburger. Because what I realized is a whole cheeseburger and a whole serving of fries. I'm stuffed like, that's too much for me. So, you know, another part of the program. I really wish I had learned this as a child. Instead of finish your everything on your plate or you can't have dessert kind of mentality that people my age classic grew up with.

Sharlette (00:21:05) - Yeah. Or it's dinnertime. Dinner time is at 6:00. We're eating at 6:00. Are you hungry? Who cares? It's dinnertime, and I'm still. I've kept that my whole life. Like it's dinnertime and you're going to clean your plate and letting learning to let those things go. I eat now at the weirdest times because that's when I'm hungry. Instead of it's 6 p.m. and it's dinnertime. Well, at 430 I had a snack. So now that it's six, I'm not hungry, you know?

Michelle (00:21:39) - Yeah, I love that. And how do you feel like you feel physically any different? Yes, I know before you said you were, like, hungry all the time and all of that. Like, what kind of physical things? Tangible things. Have you noticed, if any?

Sharlette (00:21:54) - , way more energy than I used to have. Just feeling. Overall, I think also what we don't realize is mentally, the way you think about yourself and everything mentally affects you physically. So releasing myself mentally from that, being tied to that scale,, you know, somebody asked me recently, have you, have you lost any weight? And I was like, I don't know,, my clothes feel a little looser than they did six months ago, but I haven't been on the scale, I don't know.

Sharlette (00:22:31) - And I mean, I was a daily weigh actually made my husband put the scale in the closet on his side because he still wants to weigh himself. But I'm like, I don't want to see it. It used to be in the bathroom, you know?

Michelle (00:22:45) - Right, I see it. Get that out of my skin.

Sharlette (00:22:47) - Get that out. I don't want to because. Because I don't want to go back to that place where that dictates how I feel. And right now I feel great. Yeah, I feel really good. I, I think I mentioned this to you in a message, but January 1st hit and all my friends were not all my friends, but some of my friends are like, okay, I'm going to do this and I'm going to work out with a trainer. I'm starting this diet and I'm going to be really serious and I'm going to do all that. But for the first time in however many years. I was like, that's awesome. Good for you. I'm not doing anything.

Sharlette (00:23:34) - I mean.

Michelle (00:23:35) - I don't feel the need to.

Sharlette (00:23:36) - I didn't feel the need to. Because another thing is, during the holidays, I didn't go overboard like I normally would because this is the only time I'm going to have. No it's not. You're going to have it again next year. Or you want to make mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes. You can. It's you don't have to eat at all right now. Yeah. So,, yeah, it was such a freeing realization to realize, oh my gosh, I'm not like January 1st. I've got to start this and get back on track. No, I wasn't off track. I was doing my thing and living my life.

Michelle (00:24:17) - I love that.

Sharlette (00:24:18) - And that's another thing about exercise I wish they would keep as as kids. Exercise is fun. We're doing fun things. We're riding our bikes. We're I don't know what kids today do. You know, roller skating back in the day I know now, but you know that back when you were a kid running around and playing hide and seek and stuff outside was fun.

Sharlette (00:24:42) - And then we turned exercise into earning your food. Yeah.

Michelle (00:24:46) - And oh my.

Sharlette (00:24:47) - Gosh. Yes. And I even I'll confess, when I was a fitness instructor, I look back at like my Facebook memories and I would be like, I had a cookie today, I better go teach my class and work out. I had Mexican food. oh. Better go run to class and get a good workout in. And I was like, oh my gosh, I hate that I did that to other people. As an instructor.

Michelle (00:25:13) - At the time, you probably thought it was motivating and I was thinking I did.

Sharlette (00:25:16) - Yeah, but you look at how that affect, you know, how that might affect somebody. They think and then they and then it turns exercise into not being fun. Which it can be. It can be lots of fun.

Michelle (00:25:32) - Totally. Yeah.

Sharlette (00:25:34) - If you're not using it as a punishment or a or you have to earn things. Yeah.

Michelle (00:25:39) - I,, I have like these friends that they will go play pickleball every Sunday.

Michelle (00:25:45) - They're just a married couple. And it's like, that's the thing now. So it is the thing now. It's a big thing right now. And I just think that's like the cutest thing. Like, they go play pickleball. And I feel like we all know somebody like that who is just they really enjoy doing sporty things. Like, we all have that sporty friend and it can seem so mind blowing when you have had a relationship with exercise and fitness. That's all about punishment and making your body smaller, because for them it's just like fun and and they're so like, yeah, you're naturally doing really good things for your health. And it has nothing to do with trying to make your body smaller. For them. It's all about like, this is super fun. I really love doing this, and I wish that that was more like like you said, I wish that was more encouraged and normalized is just finding something that you love to do for fun. And that happens to move your body too, even with like, you know, I harp on technology a lot for keeping us.

Michelle (00:26:42) - Stationery, but write like new things with VR, where you're able to do exercise classes with VR or the virtual reality stuff. And I think that's super fun. Like if you can do a dance program like some people would love, I would love that. So oh.

Sharlette (00:26:57) - Yeah, for.

Michelle (00:26:57) - Sure. There's a lot of fun things you could do. But yeah. So I, I'm curious when you like first joined, do you think there's anything. That you wish somebody would have told you, or some sort of advice they could have given you when you first started.

Sharlette (00:27:15) - I think it's sometimes intimidating because when you first jump in, there are people already going through the program, and so there is a tendency to jump in and you feel like you're behind already because you jump into and you're in a group and the group is, you know, maybe three weeks ahead of you. So. Be patient. You don't need to be where anyone else is in this program. Yeah, but I say the most important thing is share.

Sharlette (00:27:52) - Whether it's in the group chats on the phone calls. Because. If you don't open up in, you know, be a little vulnerable, it's going to be hard for you to get to the end.. And all of the women in the program so supportive no matter what place they are in the program and somebody's in there I guarantee is feeling exactly what you're feeling. So don't be afraid to share how you're feeling. There's no judgment. Nobody's going to judge you nothing. And some of it is, you know, inspiring and, you know, makes you realize that you can get there as well as somebody that was there during my time. I think it was Amy. Shout out to Amy if you're listening. But,, I think she said she was on a trip and she was like eating ice cream in her bathing suit on a trip. And I'm like, I can't even imagine doing that. But at the end now, I'm like, who cares? Yes, give me an ice cream while I sit here in my swimsuit.

Sharlette (00:29:03) - Yeah, yeah. We're we're so hard on ourselves. Like, don't be so hard on yourself.

Michelle (00:29:10) - Yeah. That's good. So for anybody that's like, I don't I don't get how the group works out. I let people join whenever they want. Like, if you're ready, then we're going to join now, we're not going to wait until the next cohort starts because I just feel like that's people are tired, like, let's get them started, you know?

Sharlette (00:29:27) - And that was one of my hesitations as well, was it's a group. It's a group program. Will I get. What I need in a in a group setting, but it was way more helpful to be in a group setting and realize other people are struggling with similar things, and not everybody. You're not going to relate to everybody, but there's at least one other person that you're like, oh my gosh, that sounds exactly like what I how I think or how I feel or, or whatever. So yeah, don't let don't let that stop you.

Sharlette (00:30:03) - You will even in a group you're going to get exactly what you need.

Michelle (00:30:08) - Yeah. And I feel like I mean I'm biased, but I feel like with, with the group because I used to do this as a one on one thing and then a hybrid. And I feel like with the group, the growth is actually faster because there are people ahead of you and you're learning from them, and people are asking questions that you didn't know you had. And so then you get to learn that too. And it's like there's just so much collaboration going on, kind of unintentionally. It's just happening naturally, and you're learning from each other naturally that the the growth is faster. And I obviously want that for my clients, because I know that they're sick of feeling this way, because for some of them, it's been decades of yes. Yeah, yeah. So yeah.

Sharlette (00:30:51) - No it was I loved I at the end I was like, oh I don't want to lose touch with some of these women.

Michelle (00:31:00) - Let's keep let's keep in touch.

Sharlette (00:31:02) - Yeah. We're all like, hey.

Michelle (00:31:03) - Yeah I love that I love that. Yeah. So what would you say to somebody that's like considering joining and maybe they're unsure if it's worth taking the risk?

Sharlette (00:31:16) - , it's 1,000% worth it. I had many hesitations before joining, but if anything you have said. On any podcast, on any Instagram posts. If anything you've said has resonated with that person. Do it. Join. Because and I can't even recall exactly what it was. But I think you were doing one of Doctor Ed's podcast or something. So I saw like the advertisement and then I went over to look at your stuff because I was like, oh, I trust Doctor Ed's and things. So I'm going to go look at this person. And then one of the posts, just everything you said was like, I was like, oh, that's me, oh that's me, oh that's me. Oh my gosh, that's me. Can this person help me like, I don't know. And that isn't.

Michelle (00:32:08) - So.

Sharlette (00:32:09) - Yeah. And that's the other thing for me. When I first joined the group, you know, they're young, young, young ladies in their early 20s all the way up to 50s and 60s. And so at first when I joined, I was like, oh, man, this is a bunch of like 20 year olds. They have no idea, you know, what I'm dealing with. And it's amazing how we all have something that connects. And, you know, as a 50 something year old, you think,, those young 20s don't have anything to teach me. Oh, let me tell you. Y'all do.., I, I learned so much I can't even we need hours to go over everything. But I feel such a mental freedom that I want everybody to feel. And you may, you know, we kind of touched on it earlier. They may well. Or are you even healthy, you know, or you're still overweight or whatever. My mental health is 100% after this program.

Sharlette (00:33:18) - , my physical health is. I don't know a percentage, but it's way improved and and it's continuing to improve because exercise is fun again. Eating a salad is not punishment because I gained £2 from a cheeseburger. It's because guess what? I like salads. I like to eat a salad. I love.

Michelle (00:33:41) - A good salad.

Sharlette (00:33:42) - Love a good salad. But I did this clean food eating where you had to eat a spinach salad, like at certain times of the day. And it just for a while, I'm like, I can't even eat to sell it. But I love a good salad.

Michelle (00:33:55) - So I always think of Elaine in that episode of Seinfeld.

Sharlette (00:33:58) - With the big salad.

Michelle (00:33:59) - Big salad.

Sharlette (00:34:00) - I just need a big salad. Yeah.

Michelle (00:34:02) - I would actually love a big salad.

Sharlette (00:34:04) - I love a big salad. I love it because all the stuff in there. Yeah, but,, it's worth it. It's worth the time to invest in yourself. And you, you know, for those of you that have kids, spouses, whatever, my husband had to actually tell me how my negative self-talk and how I felt negatively about my body was affecting.

Sharlette (00:34:30) - Like he didn't want to hear me insulting myself because he loved me and I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, I never thought about that before. And so that put on a whole nother level. Yeah, my emotions come out in watery eyeballs here, but, but yeah, it's worth it to heal yourself for yourself alone. And then also for whatever family you have. Relationships you have. Yeah. It's so valuable. Yeah. So valuable.

Michelle (00:35:08) - You're speaking to a really important thing there, which is like how your relationship with yourself, we we think it's just with ourselves and that only affects ourselves. But it does affect the people close to you as well. Your marriage, your kids. Yeah. Nieces. Like whoever is around you. Yeah. Picks up on that. And I think you, you bring up a really beautiful perspective of like, how sad it makes that person who loves you to see you not loving yourself because they love you. Yeah, they want the best for you.

Michelle (00:35:41) - And yeah, it's what a sweet guy.

Sharlette (00:35:45) - Though I was glad he said that to me because I had never thought of that. And he said, I can't listen to you beat yourself up about that anymore. And I was like, whoa, that was okay. I had never thought about the way I talked to myself, affecting him in any way, and it did.

Michelle (00:36:07) - That's pretty powerful. How does he how does he feel with Sharlette?

Sharlette (00:36:14) - , he was very supportive through the whole process and still is. And, you know, just like everything. You know. Everybody's health. Wellness is individual, right? Yours is different. Mine is different. His is different. But he. Has commented that, you know, I don't bash myself anymore. I mean, you still have days where you look in the mirror and go,, this doesn't look so good. But now. But now I don't blame it on. Well, you're too fat. You ate too much, you know, it's like, oh, this top doesn't really fit me, right.

Sharlette (00:36:59) - Okay, find another one., so he has commented on how nice it is that I don't do that anymore because I was I was really hard on myself.

Michelle (00:37:12) - Yeah.

Sharlette (00:37:12) - So that's another thing. Give yourself grace.

Michelle (00:37:15) - So much grace. That's like literally it. If there's one thing that I consistently say to every single person throughout their journey, it's always that.

Sharlette (00:37:23) - Yes, you have to.

Michelle (00:37:25) - Everybody's so hard on themselves. And I get it because like, I am the same way. I not so much in that department anymore, but I still can be that way about other things. And then I just like see it in other women and I'm like, you gotta, gotta give yourself some grace. Oh, I have a favorite quote from you, one of my favorite quotes from you, which is something that you wrote in a review, which thank you for doing. Oh, okay. And it says a friend asked me recently if I felt like I would go back to my old ways, or if this program has changed me forever, nourished and free, I feel like I'm forever changed.

Michelle (00:38:02) - That's some powerful stuff. Can you speak to that a little bit?

Sharlette (00:38:05) - I do, I well, you know, an example of. Coming around. You know, we just had January 1st, which is normally the time of year where I would be like, okay, let's set some fitness goals. I'm going to lose £20 by this date, and I'm going to exercise this many times a week and do all that. I wasn't even tempted in the slightest in the slightest. Now, I do have some goals about just being more active in different ways. So my husband and I, we do a lot of walking. We walk our dogs. We do just a lot of walking in general. We have a nice lake in our neighborhood., but I want to build back some of the muscle strengths that sound like, oh, I have some goals. I want to, you know, lift some weights, but it's not tied to any kind of I have to do this to get there. I have to be this weight to be happy or to know it's all.

Sharlette (00:39:08) - It's all gone. And I honestly don't see myself. We even said it in this, you know, podcast. Well, you know, maybe down the road you might go back and do X. No I'm not I'm not counting a calorie. I'm not weighing anything except when I bake, I will weigh my ingredients because that's what you have to do in baking. Yeah, but I'm not, you know, measuring out. You can only have a quarter cup of, of a carb. Yeah. No, no, I just even if I'll put this on, even if this is the size and the weight I am forever, I have no desire to go back to that place. Ever. So I do I that for months of being in your group program forever changed forever. Yeah.

Michelle (00:40:07) - That's so good.

Sharlette (00:40:08) - Oh, I know one thing you said when you're because that is a thing. Like, I think that gets lost when people talk about intuitive eating or just in that kind of vein of social media now is.

Sharlette (00:40:24) - People take that as just eat whatever you want all the time, you know, which is not really what it means, but it is being in tune with your body, what is your body need and all that. But I think one of the things you said, because I have lived in such a headspace of restriction, right? Any diet you're on, your restricting, whether it's carbs or fat or, you know, whatever it is, it's restrictive, but it's eat what you want, but then add what your body needs. So so that's one thing I've tried to do is add more, you know, whatever it is for you. I'm not going to tell people what did it. For me, it was vegetables. I don't I don't in general eat enough vegetables. I didn't grow up eating a lot of vegetables. So there's only a handful that I like. So for me I'm like, okay, I want a cheeseburger or I want, you know, whatever it is. But I also know my body needs more veggies.

Sharlette (00:41:22) - So instead of, you can't have whatever this is, I'm going to add in what my body, what my body needs. So that was really something that stuck with me as well. Like don't just think of it as takeaway. Takeaway I can't have you can. But maybe your body also needs some of this.

Michelle (00:41:43) - Yeah. And yes, I actually the podcast episode that is releasing tomorrow, but by the time this airs will have already been released, it right before yours is talking similarly about like the difference between not dieting and intuitive eating. And we're like the people just kind of. Forget that there's a framework at all when it comes to intuitive eating, and they see it as like an opportunity to just, like, go crazy, and that there's no way you're taking care of your health. And to be fair, I think there are a lot of people on social media. And I mean, I don't know what kind of conversations they're having with their actual clients, right? From what they post.

Michelle (00:42:23) - And like the the top of the, you know, horizon, what we're seeing is that it seems like there's no conversation about things that your body might need as well. Yeah. You know, and and so that can be very off putting for the whole system. And yeah.

Sharlette (00:42:44) - I think that's one thing that is also helpful with Nourished and Free is. I was coming from that kind of space of confusion at the time of like, okay, intuitive eating, so what do I eat? And,, you know, this thing, what do I eat there? So I appreciated the structure of Nourished and Free because when you're when you're a long term diet or you kind of thrive in that structure. So when you don't have any structure like, oh, I'm just going to do intuitive eating. And there's not a definitive like, what exactly are we eating with intuitive eating? So yeah, I appreciated having kind of a framework in going through nourished and free and learning in that way. So there is still some structure to it.

Sharlette (00:43:43) - You're not just like, you're not just like eat whatever and do whatever. I mean, there is a little bit of that in that, you know, we're given freedom of choices. But there is the nutrition component, there is the joyful movement component, you know. Yeah. But doing it in a, you know, in a structure was helpful instead of just trying to figure out on my own, what am I supposed to be doing?

Michelle (00:44:11) - Because that is so overwhelming. We just had a client that I think it was like a couple of weeks ago. She was talking about that in particular, about how,, at first when she joined, which I think this is how a lot of people feel when they first joined because they are coming from doing diets is they're like, okay, what what are you going. Yeah, what do I eat? Yeah. What do I eat? Like give me my meal plan. And I'm like, no, I'm not going to I'm not going to do that.

Michelle (00:44:35) - I like what I like. I'm gonna make you think for yourself. And they're like, what? Yeah., but I do. At the same time, I do know that just like, not giving you any structure or framework at all is probably the worst thing I could do for you. And so I like to give you guys a guide and a framework. And she was somebody who, like. Yeah, previously really wanted me to just like, spoon feed her. And then a couple weeks ago was like, I just had such a breakthrough because I, like I have my guide, like, I have a meal planning guide that I give you guys right with that piece. And she's like, I have my guide, but it's just a guide. Like I still have freedom to choose what I want and to, like, make it fit into my life. And she was like, this is so much better than just like the other opposite ends of the spectrum that we often feel like we have to be on where it's all or nothing.

Michelle (00:45:27) - It's just like yes, framework. And it's helping me choose, but it's not restricting me or making me feel like I'm in a prison. And it's also. Not overwhelming.

Sharlette (00:45:37) - And I think that's what one thing that's helpful too, is because, you know, I mean, somebody might be able to afford you to have you on retainer at all times, but we have to go in through the program. We have to learn how to navigate all that ourselves. Yeah. Because, you know, when the when your time ends, then you're like, oh, wait, I don't have anybody to, you know, bounce this off of anymore or so. Yeah. When you've learned those skills during your program, you're able to, you know, move forward and continue to be successful. Hopefully.

Michelle (00:46:13) - Well, that's my goal with you guys. It's a terrible business model because then I don't have reoccurring business. But it works. It works out great for you guys, which like, yeah, like, I don't want you to rely on me for the rest of your life.

Michelle (00:46:25) - You should be learning how to do things on your own and how to coach yourself through things. And yeah, so that's why I love, like, touching base after the fact because I get to see like how that's going and everything. So yeah.

Sharlette (00:46:35) - And you have to be you have to have some courage to dive into this program as well because it's not a diet program. Yeah. I just I'm so thankful that, you know, I found your program and that I do feel like it's changed my life. We can check in again, you know, six months a year. Well, I'll let you I'll let you know if it's still a forever thing, but that's so far. So far, I, I think so, yeah. And I hope many, many, many other women who've struggled find your program. I mean, that's kind of I've talked about it to people I know and but it does take that you kind of have to put aside that obsessive need to lose weight. Yeah. To heal your relationship with food and your body.

Sharlette (00:47:31) - Yeah.

Michelle (00:47:32) - Which not everybody is ready for. I think, you know, I know a bit of a rock bottom, which is a yes, but that's just kind of how it works.

Sharlette (00:47:39) - It is. But you I like I said, I was in a just a confused state, like I don't even know what to eat anymore. I don't even know what to do anymore with this. I just I'm out of ideas. And then you're a little face came along on Instagram and I went,, what is this? This is new.

Michelle (00:47:59) - Wait, let.

Sharlette (00:47:59) - Me check this out. But I'm so glad because it worked for me.

Michelle (00:48:04) - Yeah. I'm so glad you joined. Thank you for taking the time to talk about your experience. And, yes, it's it means the world that you've taken this time out of your day to share, and it's. Yeah, I mean, you were you were and still are such an amazing client. And it's such a joy to see you go from feeling so are confused and kind of at your rock bottom and, and bashing yourself to now feeling like I don't even need to weigh myself.

Sharlette (00:48:36) - I feel amazing. I mean, you know, not every day nobody feels I don't know, there might be some people feel amazing every day, but in general I feel amazing to have that weight. It's a and it is a weight that is lifted from my shoulders now.

Michelle (00:48:54) - Yeah.

Sharlette (00:48:54) - So I so appreciate it. I appreciate you and your program.

Michelle (00:48:59) - Yes. Please keep in touch. Don't ever be a stranger. We'll do well. If you want to learn more about Nourished and Free and see if it's the right fit for you, feel free to head to the show notes and I'll have a link to apply and we'll have a no pressure chat. See if this is the right fit for you and hopefully have you be in the next success story. Thanks, Sharlette.

Sharlette (00:49:21) - You're welcome. Thanks, Michelle.