Preparing Your Anxious Teen for Back to School with Daelene Byam

Listen in on this conversation with Daelene Byam, a certified life coach who works with teenagers and young adults who struggle with anxiety. On this episode we will discuss:
- how to know if your child is experiencing normal, human anxiety or if it something that they need help with.
- how to normalize anxiety.
- 4 things parents can do to help their kids with anxiety.

Daelene's Website:
https://www.daelenebyam.com/

Daelene's Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/daelenetheanxietycoach

Daelene's Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/anxietycoachdaelene/

https://jamelynstephan.com

https://jamelynstephan.com/meet-with-me/

https://www.instagram.com/jamelyn_stephan_coaching/

jamelyn@jamelynstpehan.com

Transcript

0:00

I'm Jaline Stephan and this is Want to Want It episode number 78. Preparing your Anxious Teen for back to school with Anxiety Coach dalene. Byam. Welcome to want to want it a podcast for women of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints who are ready to ignite not only their sexual desire, but all of their desires to create a more fulfilling life and marriage. I'm jamielynn Stephan. I'm a certified life coach, a wife, and a mother of seven children. I'm excited to share my personal journey to desire with you and teach you how to desire more as well Hello everybody. Welcome to the podcast Today, I'm actually really, really excited to share with you my sister-in-law who is a certified life coach through the life Coach school, and she coaches teens and young adults who have anxiety. So welcome dalene to the podcast. Thanks, Jamin. Glad to be here. Nice to have you here finally. This is so good because there are, I mean, pretty much everybody who listens to my podcast is a parent and most of them have. Kids who suffer with anxiety, it seems to be the thing, right? Yeah. Seems to be every kid these days, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, um, tell us just a little bit about how you became an anxiety coach and what made you decide to choose like this demographic and specifically helping them with anxiety. Right, right. Okay. Well, I mean, I. I should let you all know that I got into life coaching cause of Jamin. She was actually certified right before me. And so when she got, was doing her certification, and as I learned about it, I was like, oh, I, I really feel d drawn to this. And then I really got confirmation within myself that this was the direction I was supposed to go for myself too. Which was, was so interesting because as soon as I got that, I didn't really. Look back. Mm-hmm. And have really stuck to it, which has been and, and has always loved it cuz I feel like my passions change all the time. And this is one passion that has not changed for me at all, which I have thoroughly enjoyed. But the reason I. And the same thing is I felt very directed towards anxiety and teenagers right from the very start. And I haven't ever deviated. I feel like a lot of coaches kind of pick a niche mm-hmm. At first, and then as they get into coaching, they're kind of redirected a different way. Mm-hmm. And I've never had that mm-hmm. Happen to me. And my passion for it is mostly because of, of my son. Second oldest, uh, Garrett, he really, really struggled with anxiety from the very beginning. And I mean, I mean, jaline knows cuz we were raising our kids together. Yeah, yeah. And, and just from day one, like that kid struggled from day one. We'd laugh about something funny he would do and he'd go storming off so mad and frustrated and embarrassed that we had kind of laughed at him. Mm-hmm. And so, As it progressed into high school, it started to show up. Um, when he would come home, he would be so frustrated and mad. And it was, and it was because he was trying all day to not be anxious and let anyone know he is anxious cuz he was so anxious about people knowing that he was anxious. Mm-hmm. And he would come home and just like we would call it the rage. Mm-hmm. Because he was just so emotionally spent that it just had to go somewhere, right? Mm-hmm. And, and of course, so it's safe place home had to, had to vent somewhere. Yeah. And that's what would happen for him. And then eventually it would show up on the basketball court for him. He played high level basketball and would show up on the basketball court for him too. And then he was getting. Frustrated in his basketball game too, and I, I remember leaning over to my husband, Jain's brother and saying to him, there's gotta be something or someone that can help this kid, cuz this is all in his head. Mm-hmm. Like the struggle is all in his head and there must be something. Mm-hmm. And we would, we searched a little bit and there was kind of things, but it wasn't really accessible. Yeah. Then to, to be able to do that. And he wasn't really ready for it anyways too, but mm-hmm. Um, but then once he graduated, he went away to school and he was playing basketball for college two hours south of us. And he was living with Jaylin's sister, my other sister-in-law, and. Things all kind of fell apart, right? Mm-hmm. That's when it really hit and he got cut from the team because he, he really wasn't showing up the team player that they wanted him to be. He wasn't showing up as that. Um, his school was really slipping. He was just struggling altogether. And it was at that time that, uh, my sister-in-law was just consuming coaching stuff. Mm-hmm. And just loving it. I think she had started in on it even before me, and she was just really consuming it all. And she took all that, that she was learning and was. Helping him. Mm-hmm. Which was amazing. So she was teaching him like without him really knowing. Yes. Yes. Right. All the things, and I'll forever be grateful for her because like, this isn't the only child. She's like, like you've coached, cuz she's not officially a life coach, but she has life coached a lot of And Jaylen's kids too, right? Yeah, yeah. No, she is, she is our official Y S A life coach, but, That help and him realizing that, oh, I do have control of some of the things that are going on here and I can start to take control of it, really made a difference for him. Mm-hmm. And so it was then that he decided to kind of let things go down there and go on a mission. Mm-hmm. And that kid like as anxious and it was a process and everything, but. That kid crushed it on his mission. Yeah, he, he served so well. He served in leadership positions. He. Trained so many missionaries because he was so good at it. Mm-hmm. Because he really could connect with people because of the experience that he had. He could connect with other missionaries and he connect with other members. Mm-hmm. And he connected with the people that he was teaching. Yeah. And it made such a huge difference for him because he had that experience and he was willing to share it. Yeah. He was willing to share that. Yes, I went through this trial in my life and I came out on the other side and this is what's happened. Yeah. Yeah. And that stuff is still hard. Mm-hmm. And it's okay. And that you can do that too. Like he really showed that to the people that he served. Right? Right. Yeah. And, and the kid that came home was a completely different kid. Mm-hmm. So confident. So great. And that's not to say he still struggles, right? Like kids that s Right. Mm-hmm. Like kids that struggle with anxiety are not going to all of a sudden not struggle with anxiety. Like he still struggles mm-hmm. With it. But he just knows how to deal with it way better than he could before. Yes. And he's seen that he can do that. Mm-hmm. He has so much evidence of it now too, right? Yes. Yes. And that makes a big difference for him too. So now he's. Um, he, like, he's married, he's, uh, building his own window washing business. I think they're in their third year. Mm-hmm. Third or fourth year, I can't remember, but just really doing well. But he still struggles. Like he was home one weekend. He is kind of pacing the kitchen. Mm-hmm. And my husband turned to him and said, what is going on here? He is like, it's okay. And just feeling anxiety for a minute. Just gimme a minute here. Yeah. But so good Right. That he could see that, acknowledge it, and, and be able to keep going. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And so, and that's what I want for our teenagers, right? Mm-hmm. Is to be able to know what to do when they're feeling anxious, be okay with it, accepting of it. Mm-hmm. And then kind of still want do the things, all the things Right. Right. That they wanna do. Yeah. Yeah. So, As we're like approaching back to school time, what are some common things that you see, and I know like I get that school isn't the only thing that kids are anxious about, that it's lots of things that kind of mm-hmm. Maybe show up in school or at this time of year when it's, you know, back to reality and back to schedules. But what do you feel like are some common things you're seeing with kids that they're worried about and feeling a lot of anxiety about? Yeah, so, um, that's the thing. It's so funny because. A lot of my clients kind of take a break through the summer. Mm-hmm. Because their anxiety levels are so low in the summer. It's so interesting to see and, and then So I'll have like a slow kind of period. Yeah. Well usually I have a slow period right now, but it isn't, I don't know why, but, but, It kind of, and then it picks up right when school's really getting undergoes. So right now, when school's going, it kind of starts to pick up again. But it's so interesting that they're their, you're right, their anxiety levels are lower when they're not in school, and then when you get closer to school, it kind of heightens and picks up. Mm-hmm. So I think a lot of the things that kids are anxious for is like grades. Mm-hmm. Friends, teachers. What if you do something stupid? Like there's so many different things Yeah. That kind of come up for them and, and some of them realistic, right? Yeah. And some of them maybe not so, but totally to them, right? Yeah. Right. But I think the, the major things is really is friends and grades, I think are the two. Biggest ones. Okay. Um, and within that, friends things like bullying and stuff like that, of course. But yeah, kind of all the social, social side of it. Okay. So like, Here's, here's my, so you can help me. Because I didn't know that I was like an anxious child until I was like in my thirties now, like I experienced that child, but we didn't talk about those kind of things really back then. Nobody was like, wow, this girl has anxiety. Right? I was like, Terrified of kidnappers, terrified of the dark, wanted to like fly under the radar. Like as a teen, I was like, just don't notice me. I didn't want anyone to be able to pick on me or like, just very, I, I had a lot of things I was anxious about perfectionism and grades and all of the things you're kind of describing. And I, I think it impacted my life, but at the same time I'm like, I grew up, I'm okay. Like, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So what I kind of wanna know is like there is a natural part of being a human that has anxiety. It just, Is a human experience that every person probably is going to feel on the earth. So totally At what point is like, is a parent concerned because I, I think sometimes we don't want our kids to suffer at all. Mm-hmm. Then other times it's, it's almost like we're not sure like what is. What is just kind of normal and what should I actually be concerned about? Right. I think the differences and, and because Jaylen and I knew each other growing up is like, you still played sports, right? Yeah. You still played the piano. You still sang like you still got out in front of people. You were still doing the things that you really wanted to do. Yes. Yes. Right? Yeah. That was, it wasn't holding you back. And so I think that's the differences if when it's holding us back, when it's holding them back from doing the things that they really want to do. Hmm. Right. When they're sitting in the bathroom puking their guts out cuz they're so freaking anxious mm-hmm. That they can't get out of their and go do what? Go play their game or Yeah. Go perform in their piano recital or, you know, go to school. Right. Yes. Go to school. That. Right. Cause that's a huge thing. Especially, especially after Covid, right? There were so many kids that were so anxious about going back to school. It's so interesting cuz there's so many more kids homeschooled now. Yeah. A lot of kids have just stayed home. Right? Yeah. Because they just couldn't, they couldn't do it. It was too much for them. So I think it's the, it's, that's the difference when Okay. You feel like it's holding them back. Oh, okay. Okay. And, and so, I mean, obviously it'd be awesome if you could like get your kids help or whatever, right. But. What are some things then that parents can do? Like what are some things that you can do as a parent to help your kids not eliminate the anxiety? Because I feel like, I don't know, and I've heard you talk about this before, maybe we should talk about this first, is, um, The, like, how people identify themselves with anxiety, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like, like, it's like almost like a personality defect or a, right. Yeah. It's like a social disease. That's what I always say. Yeah. Sounds like a, like, like they have this disease, right? Yeah. And is it, is that helpful? I don't know. No. No, I don't think so at all. Because when you, when it sounds like something like that, when I have anxiety mm-hmm. It does, it feels like a de. Disease. It feels like something we don't have control over. It feels like there's nothing we can do about it. Yes. Right? Yes. And even kids that have an actual official diagnosis, I want them to kind of change that thought in their head to, I feel anxiety. Okay. Because when we feel it, we feel like we have a little bit more control. When we have it, it feels so uncontrollable, right? Mm-hmm. We feel like anxiety's taken over me, it's happening to uss, come on to me and there's nothing I can do about it. Mm-hmm. Right. It's like when you catch something, catch a cold. Right, right, right. But when you feel it, it's just an emotion. Mm-hmm. It sounds so easy. Right. And it's not, it's huge. Right? Mm-hmm. But it is, it's a feeling that we have within ourselves. Mm-hmm. Which we, and, and then, and I've kind of. Careful about this. Sometimes, like, yes, we created ourselves with our thoughts, but I do feel like that there's a fine line sometimes that doesn't. I, I don't love saying that to teenagers. Like, you're telling yourself this and that's what's creating this. So I don't like telling them that. Yeah. Because they're gonna fight against as resistance, and maybe sometimes that is not even true. Right. Or they don't see that either way. It doesn't matter. Yeah. But just telling them that it's just you're feeling this. Yeah. You're feeling anxiety. And it's, and it's totally normal. Yeah. This is normal. Yeah. Yes. And I, and I think we can almost, like, it does almost become like a trained thing because we've felt it so much, like, it just, it's like our first emotion, right? Like primary emotion is to feel anxious, right? Yeah. Yeah. And that's cuz you kind of get in the habit of it. Yes, totally. It's. Right. Yeah. So because you've trained yourself so much, it's just kind of gotten into the habit of it. Mm-hmm. And then the problem with it too is then we're telling ourselves that I shouldn't be feeling this. There's something wrong with me. Yeah. And then you're feeling anxious about being anxious. Yes. Yes. Right. A hundred percent. So do you feel like even as a parent it is, um, maybe a little better to change your words around how you describe it? Instead of being like, I have my, like my child has anxiety, or I have an anxious child, instead of being maybe being more of like, you, you feel anxiety, or I have a child who sometimes feels anxiety. I don't know. Yeah. Does that make a difference? I think it does. It's one of the first things I teach my clients when I'm talking to them. Mm-hmm. Is like, this is what I want you to change this narrative in your head. Mm-hmm. That you're just feeling this. Yeah. And it's something that I tell the parents too. Yes. Just be like, my child feels anxious. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes it's more and sometimes it's less, and sometimes some children feel it more. Mm-hmm. And that's okay because that's just their normal. Right. It's not abnormal, it's just their normal. Yes. Yeah. Which I, I like that as well of just kind of, um, normalizing it. Cause I think sometimes we make it into such a big deal, right? Like it's gonna be the destruction of all that is good. Right. Right. And we make it. As parents, right? Like I just was doing a podcast on parenting and talking about, um, Jodi Moore always talks about how when the flight attendants calm, then even when there's turbulence, she can be calm. Yes. Because she's like, they're not freaking out, so I should be okay. And I think sometimes as parents little, when we're freaking out about our child's anxiety, right, they're looking at us Yeah. Going, something is wrong with me because you are freaking out. Right, right. Yeah. And then we're putting our anxiety on top of their anxiety too, right? Yes, yes. Let's just keep stacking. Yeah. So it's just like the ability to be like, this is a normal experience, or nothing's going wrong here. Yeah. And we can totally handle this and it's all gonna be fine. Yeah. It's such a different way to approach it. For sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. So, okay. So parents, the narrative a parent can use can help. Are there other things that. Like someone listening to this could use with their child, um, if they really are getting anxious about going back to school or about relationship with friends or whatever it is. Yeah. What, what are some other things that maybe they could do to help their kids? Okay. I actually wrote down four steps cuz I love steps. I love having things cuz when I'm taking notes for something, I love writing one too. Like, I don't know. Yes. I just love steps. Okay. So before I even start the step, I think the thing to do is don't wait till the week before school to start asking them questions. Right. Like, how are you feeling about school? Mm-hmm. Like, where are you at? But don't like keep asking them. But just kind of ask'em a couple of like, how are you feeling? Mm-hmm. Or, or, or, the other thing to go is, I've noticed that sometimes you get a little anxious when school starts. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm wondering how you're feeling about that right now. Right. Okay. But don't put the words into their, to their mouth. Like, I think you have to be really careful with that too. Like, I notice sometimes you're. Your feelings are a little heightened. That might even be a better way of saying it than being like, I notice you're anxious. Cuz all of a sudden they're like, oh crap, I'm anxious. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I think it's really important to not label their emotion before they tell you what it is. Mm-hmm. Okay. So just being like, Hey, I noticed sometimes your feelings get a little heightened before school starts. I'm just wondering where you're at. Yeah. You kind of go from there, but then if you, quite often you see it, right? Like you see it starting to come up and you're paying attention to it, but quite, but I feel like. As parents, we start to try and tell them, you shouldn't feel anxious. It's totally fine. Oh, a hundred percent. One. And I was the anxious person and I always wanna be like, you're fine. It's totally fine. Everything's fine. Yeah. Yeah. So that, that's my first one is allow them that emotion. Okay. Scared, anxiety, worry, whatever it is. Mm-hmm. It's totally normal and maybe it's not normal for you and you're like not getting it. And as a parent who wasn't anxious as a child, sometimes I have a hard time with that. Right? Yeah. And I'm so grateful, cuz Jamin knows, I would call her up and I'd be like, okay, this is going on. How do I deal with this as an anxious person? Tell me about this. Tell me. But just like really allow them to feel okay. Their emotion and, and acknowledge it. And, and I'm assuming like your, your audience knows how to like process and allow it and really kind of ask them to describe it to you. Like when you are feeling anxious, where do you feel it Yeah. In your body? What color? Like really allow them to sit in it. Okay. It just makes like it's, and tell them that it's okay. It's totally normal. It's fine. Right. And you can go to school and still feel anxious. Totally fine, right? So, yeah. Okay. So the second one is, and we kind of touched on this one, is don't go down their rabbit hole. Okay? So as parents of anxious children, quite often we start feeling anxious ourselves about it, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And this has happened to me so many times. Okay? And so like when they're fi. Like, I remember when Garrett was asking his, his wife now to marry him. He was so anxious, for sure. Of course, right? Anyone would be so anxious. But all of a sudden I'm feeling myself get sick to my stomach and I'm feeling anxious because we're trying to set all these things up in order and some things aren't, like people aren't prioritizing things as much as Garrett and I felt like it should be. And so then I'm feeling anxious and one of my kids called me out on it and was like, Stop with your anxiety about his anxiety, and I'm like, ah, you're right. You're right. Okay. But it's so easy to get wrapped up into it because the problem is, is, and like you said with the, with the stewardist thing, if you can't be level-headed, if you're going down the rabbit hole with them, there's nobody there to help pull him out. Mm-hmm. Right. And you have to be the calm force that can help them. Yeah. Because they're young. Their, their brains are still developing. Teenage brains are still developing till they're like, like 26. Yeah. Yeah. They have to have direction and help. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And so if we go down that hole with them Yeah. Yeah. So you gotta believe there's nobody to help. Yeah. You ha you are gonna have to like, manage yourself, manage your own anxiety. Right. And be able to be like, everything is okay. Yeah. Yeah. This is totally fine. We've got this. Yeah. We, we can do this. We can figure this out. Mm-hmm. Okay. Third step, um, go through their what ifs. Okay. Just get them to write'em all down, or you write them down for them. Just ask them what are the things that are worrying about mm-hmm. About this. Tell me, tell me what your what ifs are. Yeah. And then go through the list with them. And some of them, they might be able to eliminate themselves. Some you might be tempted to say, oh, you don't need to worry about that. Leave it there is totally fine. Okay? Don't tell them that. None of them don't tell them. Any of them are not worthy of a consideration. Okay? Let them choose. If there's some, like some of them you might. Question a little bit. Like what if the school blows up and just ask them? Do you think that would happen? Yeah. Yeah. And, and they might eliminate some of the things they're themselves, but change their what ifs into if then, so go through all their what ifs and then change'em all into if then sentences. This is a way we're changing their thought for them without them realizing that we're doing that. Okay. Okay. So gimme an example. Like if I was like, um, like what if. Like what if my, I haven't seen my friends all summer and what if when I see them again, like they don't wanna hang out with me anymore. Yeah. So if my friends don't wanna hang out with me, then what are you gonna do? What's your plan? Okay. So just change it for them. Super easy to change that for them and then give them the option to fill in the, then, okay, what are you gonna do? What are some options? So good, let's figure it out so that you know ahead of time. Cuz so often anxiety is about not knowing. Yes. And not feeling control. Yes. So this way for them to sit there and figure out how to control a lot of the things that are causing the anxiety in their head. Yes. So good. All the adults, so they were like, I could do that too for me. Yes. Right. What ifs to if then I love it. So one of my favorite things to do. It's kind of like obstacles and strategies though, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Same kind of thing. It's just you're taking, cuz so often when we're feeling anxious, it's all those what ifs going through our head. Yeah. You know what, if nobody talks to me, what if I say something stupid? What if I fall on the floor? What if I don't know where, what if I forget my locker combo? Like all those things. Yes. Right? Yes. If I forget my locker combo, then I can go to the office and ask them. Yeah. What it is. Yeah. I dunno how many times I had to do that in high school. But you weren't anxious about it. But I wasn't anxious about it. Okay. Okay. Okay. The last one is make a plan. I like to call it like, make protocols. Okay. So kind of take their biggest worry and really plan it out. Like plan their, if their worry is, I'm not sure how the day's gonna go. Mm-hmm. Plan the whole day out with them. If the worries, I'm not sure. I'm gonna make friends, figure out how you can make friends. Okay. Right. So I have my, my favorite thing is my friend making protocol. Yeah. So it's very, very simple. Some of my clients have run through it really, really quick. Some of them, they have to go way slower and it's totally fine. Right. Yeah. So starts out with, you know, eye contact. Give eye contact to everybody in your age demographic. Okay. So they need to start doing this before school starts. Right? Okay. Yeah. So start doing eye contact with everybody. Just look at them and then give'em a little smile. That's it. Mm-hmm. It's just making them feel comfortable with focusing and connecting with other people. Yeah. Yes. And then I say, I agree, like as, as an anxious person, sometimes you're looking down a lot and kind of like, yeah. Yeah, avoiding that kind of stuff. That is so good. Yeah. Okay. Totally. Totally. And then the next day is just saying hello. Mm-hmm. Right. And I don't know if you remember this one summer I was doing my friend protocol. Yes. I was just gonna say, we were together on the friend protocol. We're be on a walk and she's eye contact and hello to everybody we pass because she's like, this is what I make my clients do. Yeah. So I determined I was gonna do it all summer long and we, and I did, I did it all summer long and, and sometimes I got some weird stares at some people that weren't necessarily my demographic, but I just had decided I was saying hi to everybody. Mm-hmm. But it's, the thing is, it just becomes a habit then. Right? Right. Okay. Yeah. It just becomes so easy to do that you don't even think about it. Mm-hmm. And it just happens right by the end of the summer I was saying hi, and I was just like, I don't know why I said hi to that person. Habit. Good habit. Yeah. There's like a biker gang and I said hi to them. They lean like the hell Angels. It's fine. Yeah. Seriously. Seriously. And then the next one is to go up to somebody and just say, hi, my name is Dalene. Okay. And the thing is, it just opens up conversation then, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And so some kids have to go through that very slowly. I'll be like, this week you're doing this, this week you're doing this. But, but some kids could go through it a little faster, right? Yeah. Like, let's practice eye contact today. Hi. And then I want you to start introducing yourself. Or on the very first day, I need you to introduce yourself to every single person you, you sit by in class on either side of you, right? Right. Just, and sometimes probably just having the eye contact saying hi. Some things maybe just naturally start to happen. It, it really does. It's so interesting because my son, I had taken him to this big tryout at a college and he came out after and he goes, Hey, all he had to do was say, hi, my name is Garrett. And people just started talking to me. Yes. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, thank, right. But it just didn't really occur to him. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And so sometimes it just doesn't occur to us. Like all I have to do is say hi, hello, my name is Dalene, and it just opens yourself up. Yeah. I love it. And people are like, this is somebody I need to talk to. Yeah. This is someone I want to talk to because they're opening themselves up to me and I feel comfortable then talking to them. Because that person is just as nervous as you are. Yes. Most of the time. Right. Right. Most of the time and everybody is looking for friends. Yeah. There's, I don't know, very many kids that are like, oh, I've got enough friends. I don't need to make any friends. Sorry. Yeah. I think a lot of kids are lonely, so I, I do, I think they are looking. Okay. So the four things again that parents can do to help their kids. Tell me again. Okay. Okay. So acknowledge their feelings. Allow them, okay. Don't go down their rabbit hole. Yeah. Um, get through their what ifs. Yeah. Like go through their what ifs. Answer them with the if thens, and then make a plan, make protocols. Love it. That's so, so, even if it's even the one thing that I, I've coached a few clients that just drive past the school, drive past the school, then get out and touch the school. Right, right. You may not be able to go in, but touch the school and ground yourself to the school. Love it. So that it feels a part of you that you feel like you can be a part of this. Yeah. That would be your protocol, right? If you're scared to even just get to the school. Drive past the school. Touch the school, get out, look in the windows. Yeah. Feel comfortable with the school itself. Oh, that's fantastic. Okay. You guys like dalene, really, this is her passion. She is so, so good at this. She has had many, many, many, many clients and lots of success with the things that she teaches. So dalene, how can people get ahold of you Because they want to. I know. Okay. Yeah. So my website, I'll put everything into the show notes, but you tell me all the things. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. Um, yeah, so my website is just dalene baam.com. D A E L E N E B Y A m.com. Um, I am on Instagram at Anxiety Coach dalene. Okay. I'm on Facebook too. It's pretty easy to find. It's not hard to find me cuz As long as you spell my name right? Yes. Yes. It's not Darlene. Yeah, it's hot. Darlene. A A E L e n e. But I will put all of the information in the show notes. Um, how does it work for you? Um, like for me, people come, they, they come and have a little quick consultation with me. They decide if they wanna hire me. How do you do it with teens? Yeah. So I do a parent strategy session with the parent first. Okay. And just kind of talk to them and get a, get kind of a feel of where their teen is. Tell'em a little bit about my program, but then I wanna meet with the teenager. Okay. Because one, the most important thing is I want them to feel like they have a say. Okay. Right. They feel like they have a lot of things outta control right now and a lot of things they don't feel like they have control of. And this is one thing I want them to feel like they have control of, of choosing me okay to coach with, but also just because I want to make sure that it's a good fit and that they are in a place for coaching. Cuz sometimes they're not in a good place for coaching and that's fine too. And I'm happy to. To tell the parents. And sometimes it's a hard thing to hear too, but Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So a parent can go to your website. There's a link there that they can book a strategy session with you, and then once they've met with you, then you arrange kind of for them to meet with their child and for you to meet with their child. Yeah. Yeah. And then that, that way the parent and the child can have a conversation and then make a decision together. Right. Okay. But you don't coach parents who just coach kids. I, no, I don't coach parents. Okay. Okay. Teenagers, young adults. Yeah. Perfect. Perfect. Yes. Okay. Well I really like so appreciate you coming on. I think the strategies you gave are really helpful and will help people as they're prepping their kids to go back to school the time of the year when anxiety start to flourish. So thank you so, so much dalene. I really, really appreciate it. Thanks, Jamin. Thanks for listening today. If you like what you hear on the podcast, and you'd like to learn more, feel free to head over to my website. Jamilin Stephan coaching.com or find me on Instagram or Facebook at Jamileh. step in coaching.