Scheduling Your TRUE Priorities with Ceri Payne

Ceri Payne, certified executive life and business coach, teaches us her tips and tricks for scheduling and time management. It starts by figuring out our true priorities and using that information to create a schedule that motivates and inspires us.

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Transcript

Yeti Stereo Microphone 0:00

I'm Jamielyn Stefan, and this is Want2Want it episode number 86, scheduling your true priorities with Siri Payne.

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Welcome to want to want it a podcast for women of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints who are ready to ignite not only their sexual desire, but all of their desires to create a more fulfilling life and marriage. I'm jamielynn Stephan. I'm a certified life coach, a wife, and a mother of seven children. I'm excited to share my personal journey to desire with you and teach you how to desire more as well Welcome to Want to Want It today, everybody. I'm really excited to introduce you to my friend and my colleague, Siri Payne. Siri, welcome to the podcast today. Thank you for having me. I'm so happy. Siri's actually, um, been in a mastermind with me and I've learned a lot from her. So I'm really excited to have her today. Can you just tell my listeners a little bit about your life and what you do and who you help? Yeah, so I am a mom of three daughters. I support a husband that's in a demanding career, and I'm also a certified executive life and a business coach, and I help people that are in the middle of life and business be able to time management, kind of productivity. We talk a lot about priorities just so that they can really enjoy the life they're so busy creating. Lots of times we just Get in the middle of the thick of it and we're not enjoying it. So that's basically what I do in my coaching practice is, you know, a lot of time management, time balance, mind management, all the good things so that we can make, I say, be good moms and be good business owners. I love it. Yeah. And we all just need it so bad. And I talked to so many people where it just feels like time is the precious commodity and the thing that's so hard to hold on to and organize and feel like you have enough of. And. So that's perfect. So perfect. Okay. So to just start off, Siri. Um, I think lots of us are always looking for the perfect schedule, right? Like, how do I, how do, is it this, this way that they have this planner? Should I buy this planner? Should I do it the way that this person says, right? There's always kind of this hunt for like the perfect schedule. That's going to make my life so easy. So tell me a little bit about this dream of a perfect schedule. Is it a thing? Is it possible? Perfect. I think it is. It's not what you think. It doesn't start with the planner, right, at all. But, um, I think it's important to keep in mind the purpose of a schedule. I really teach and believe that schedules should, like, motivate. They should empower us. They should guide us. I don't think they should defeat us and overwhelm us and make us feel really behind before we even start. So, when I say perfect schedule, like, my perfect schedule isn't going to be your perfect schedule. But, If you are planning from your true priorities, it is possible to create the perfect schedule for you, which is something that motivates and guides you and empowers you. Yeah. Oh, I love that. I think for myself, um, two things that I've learned about the perfect schedule was one, it's going to change. Like when your state stage of life changes or something like a kid. goes to school or like whatever happens, right? Somebody moves home. It just like, it's like, Oh, I kind of have to tweak this schedule that was so perfect, but isn't working anymore. Right? Yes. A lot of times clients will work. They'll be so angry. They're like, it was working for like the last month and now it's not. And they think they've done something wrong. And it's just like, Unfortunately, the perfect fill in the blank, whatever we're talking about, it does take like evolution and evolving. Yes. Yeah. So I think it's just like being open to it, like it might be perfect now and that's great and just be open to it changing has really helped me kind of settle in to like, yeah, this is, this is great and it's good for now and when it has to change, I'll figure it out and I'm willing to kind of do it badly for a little while. Right. That's the other thing. Yes. I'm willing to kind of be in the muck a bit until I figure out what works. So yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, um, for me, when I'm talking about schedules and things with clients and about time, um, I hear a lot of people talking about just, I put this on my schedule, but I never actually do it. So why am I making a schedule? Or I'll say to them, you know, what about scheduling time for the things you desire? Like I talk a lot about desire. This podcast is about desire and it's like, make some time for things you desire. And they're like, yeah, I put it on there. But I never get to it, like, what is the point of scheduling if I actually can't keep a schedule? Yeah, it's so defeating, right? Yeah, yeah. And I get, I get those exact same questions, almost worded the exact same way. So hopefully by our discussion today will allow us to Like come up with some solutions might is so what I would have to share is for those of you who think like I never seem to accomplish enough, right? I put stuff on my schedule and it's never getting done. I think I probably have the reason why. And it's because what what happens is we feel overwhelmed. We feel behind. We feel like we have too much to do. And so when we feel that way, we do one of two things. We either stop, right. And do nothing, which then creates the, you know, the, the, the list of things to do. It makes it bigger. Or what I see most often in my clients is they try to catch up by putting more things on their schedule. And so. When you do that, I believe we're really literally setting ourself up to fail because we can't do everything we wrote down, so we just keep this list of like, it's a defeating list again, right? It's not the schedule you want. And then another reason that we can't get everything done is because we're allowing things that aren't complementing our priorities, our true priorities, we're allowing those things on our schedule. So here's kind of the solution, just like a very simple one, is I really encourage you if you're listening to survey. Like just your typical schedule for a day or maybe kind of look at a week, kind of survey that schedule. And then I want you to assign a time value to everything on your schedule. Right? So like, if it's like working out, how long does that take making breakfast? How long does that take carpool in the afternoon? What does that look like if you're working on business or career or whatever, right? Really survey it. And what I have found is most often the women that I work with, they are putting way more on their schedule than they could possibly do in the waking time hours. Right. And so then I know like, then I get the pushback is you're probably thinking like, but Siri, like that is my life, right? Like I can't not do those things, but what I want to share with us and we'll get, hopefully we'll have time and we'll dive into this, but there are things on your schedule that you don't need to be doing. And that's because they're not what I call true priorities. So if you're feeling like you can't get everything done. It's because you are literally overplanned and you can't, right, or you're not planning from your priorities. Right, okay, so, like, I, I love to think about priorities. I don't know if you've read the book Essentialism and in Essentialism he talks about how priorities actually used to be singular, like it was just priority. Right? Like there had to be something at the top. And this has always been my problem, right? It's like, I have all these things that feel competing. So like, really, like, how do you start to figure out like, what actually genuinely is going to be the priority? Or even if you're like, these are the priorities, and this is the order, how do people figure this out? Yeah, this is a great question. A caveat that I do want to say is I believe that priorities are not more important than they're all important. Because when we start to feel like out of balance and out of whack, it's because we're actually neglecting a priority. That doesn't mean they all get the same amount of time and attention every day, but I think when we start to label like, Like, my self care or my self development or whatever is the last priority and kids or relationships or spirituality or whatever are the top priorities. We will feel out of balance when, because what happens is what we deem that last priority, it's not getting to. Oh, okay. Okay. They're all important, right? Like, we need to spend just, it's like saying what's more important, sleep or food? air, water. I mean, maybe that's not the best analogy, but you know, like sleep or food, like they're all important at different times. But when we say only sleep is more important than you don't eat for five days because you're sleeping all the time, well, then it's, you're going to feel imbalanced, right? So I think just, that's the first thing. And so Then just knowing that the first thing I would encourage you to do that is just to write down your top five priorities. And so these are what I deem, there's no right or wrong, but like bigger areas, such as like health, family, maybe if you have business or career, you're going to school, relationships, spirituality, friends, self care, self development, something like that. So those big areas and write those five down. And what I have noticed, it's, it's fairly easy for us to say X, Y, and Z, these are my priorities. But then I take this work a little step further, and it's why are they a priority, and knowing the results you want for making them a priority, then you're able to create the action steps. Right. And then you're able to know what to do with these priorities because we say like, Oh, it's, it's my husband, it's, it's my kids, it's whatever, but, but why? And that's hard sometimes. Right. And then it's, it's figuring out what are the action steps to make, to make that happen. Right. Cause so you're saying like, I could look at something and maybe I'd be like, so why is that a priority? And I might say to, like, I remember with exercise feeling like you're like supposed to want to. Right. Like it's so it's like supposed to be a priority and it honestly wasn't until I finally allowed myself to kind of hate it and not make it a priority that I was actually able to make it a genuine priority because of that pressure going off of me. So I, I do sometimes think sometimes maybe when we sit down and do this activity will be like Yeah. Because I think I'm supposed to make it a priority. Yes, and that's, and we'll talk a lot about that, but that's what I hear a lot. And then it's like, well, but why, right? And then if you say, okay, well, you don't have to do it. Then sometimes your brain will be, but I want to because, right? And that's, and I love that you brought up exercise because that's a really good one. We all exercise for different reasons. So if you say I want health to be a priority and your action step is to exercise as part of your health, I'm going to ask why, because I have some clients that maybe you're in like their sixties and they were like, I want to age gracefully and I want to have flexibility. And then I have maybe one that's like postpartum and they're like, well, because I want to lose some weight and just feel a little more confident. And then I might have another one that has an autoimmune disease. And so they want to like work out because it helps like, you know, I don't know, like the move the tissue around and keep their joints from being so stiff. So that's the thing is when we say, Oh, health is a priority. We forget that's going to look different for everyone. So if we don't know the results. Then we're just putting arbitrary things like, well, it means going to the gym and it means, you know, lifting weights, but, but why? Because none of that matters to maybe my 60 or 70 year old client that just wants, she might be doing yoga and stretching. Because she just wants to be more flexible and be able to do everything that she wants to do in, in her, in her aging years. Right? And so I think that's it. It's easy to, again, that is a great point, how it's easy to spout out what they are, but we, we need to know the results. So write them down. And then write down why they are a priority and make sure they're a true priority and not a soft priority. And we'll get to that because soft is our first acronym, is an acronym and the first letter is the should. And so we'll totally get to that. And then I want you to write down the results you want for making that thing a priority. Again, like health, is it to lose weight? Is it to get stronger? Is it to have less X? Like a symptom, bloating, fatigue, headaches, whatever it is, right? Know the results. And then write down the top three action steps that you're going to do each day or each week, some priorities may be weekly. But write down no more than the top three things that you're going to do that's going to create that result that you want from your priority. Okay, so I'm, I'm just starting with five and three under each heading kind of, and this is just a way to make it so that I'm not overscheduling myself ideally, right? Yes, because they're really you I found you don't really need more than five the way you look at your life when you really know your priorities things that you think are some of them slip away and some of them like go into other like they naturally go into other priorities if that makes sense like you can find they have a bucket it's almost like you only get five buckets so you have to fit everything you're going to do in your schedule and that fight in these buckets like if schedules were tangible they will all fit in if they're truly be. Yeah. A true priority. If they're not a true priority in their soft, it's, it doesn't need to fit in, right? And so no more than five. And if you don't have five, that's okay too. Some of my clients that seem to be pretty structured and seem to be pretty, uh, let's say clued into their time management and don't feel like the quote unquote hot mess. They sometimes only have four because when, again, when you really know what your priorities are, they start to like mirror each other. And, and so you like, you know, if you really know what you want in your bathroom, you don't need five bins. You might just need four, but it's like that fifth one's like, but I need this, but you know, you're, you're not as rich. I don't want to say rigid. Cause you know, I don't want to be rigid, but you're not as tight about what you need in your day. Wow. Okay. Okay. I love that. I love that. Okay. So tell me about soft and true priorities then. Okay. Thank you. Okay. So I love this because it's something that I was able to clue in on the pattern after working with hundreds and hundreds of women. And so a soft priority and a true priority. I want you to, um, consider though that they're both still a priority. So like there's, it could be, my kids are a priority, but you're going to have soft answers and you're going to have true answers. Right. So even though your answers are soft, it doesn't mean that your kids are not a priority. It's just for the soft reasons. And that's when you're, these five baskets, right, are going to overflow because you won't really know what you want to keep in the baskets. Okay. So soft is an acronym and the first one is shoulds. Right. So like I should work out or I should keep my kids a priority because it's what mom, good moms should do. Right. So if you can't answer the why. Like, why is it a priority without using the word should? It's a soft answer, right? The priority is still a priority, most likely. But it's a soft answer. The O is for others. So, like, we try to control what others think about us. So, like, I should volunteer for the PTO because I don't want others to think badly about me. Sometimes I say others lack. So what I hear is sometimes my clients maybe had a mom that didn't do something when they were a kid, either worked full time, wasn't home, didn't, you know, and it doesn't have to be this negative, like traumatic experience. It's just like, but my mom was never home when I came home. So I want to go and be home when they're home. It doesn't mean that that's not a good reason, but it's because you're trying to make up for others lack, like because. My mom didn't do it. I think I need to do it. So good. Yeah. Or like going to all of your child's sports games because your husband can't. It's okay if you want to go to all your child's sports games, but if you're trying to make up for his lack, well, my husband can't come. He's so busy. So I have to go. Well, you can never make up for your husband. Like, yes, it's amazing that you're there and your kids love it. But if they want dad to be there. It doesn't matter if you're there at everyone, they still might have the thought, but my dad never came, right? So we can't make for others. Lack the F is like, I, I should work out because I'm afraid that, right. I'm going to gain weight or, you know, have heart disease or something like that. And so it's okay again to work out, but not from a fear place. Because that gives the power to your fears. It's like, why do you really want to do it? And then the T is for they or them. Like, I don't want them to regret me. Or I don't want. Um, they will think that I'm lazy if I don't do this thing, right? So it's like trying to control people's perception. So if, when you go, why is that a priority? And you ask yourself, but why? But why is that a priority? Right? And you kind of dig in. If any of your answers mere soft, then I want you to realize you, you will be doing more steps. in your day to make that be a priority and they won't be clean reasons. So true priorities, if you know it's true, what I like to say is it's timeless. Meaning our priorities rarely change. The priorities themselves stay the same. It's the action steps, right? So like, I like to say, like when we had our babies, we were spoon feeding them. We were diapering them. That's how we showed care for them. But I have college age kids now. I'm not spoon feeding them. I'm not diapering them. But I might be helping to buy their clothes. Or I might be, you know, door dashing them some pizza on exam week. Because they're really, you know, they're overwhelmed and kind of burnt out, right? So, my action steps are going to change, but my timeless is my priorities, right? My kids are always going to be that priority. Totally. They're timeless, but you have to, you know, adjust, right? Your action steps. They're results based. So like, what is the result I want? And if you can't say why, Like, I want to relate, I want to make my kids a priority, but why? If you can't tell me the result you want, it's a soft priority. Again, they'll still be your priority, but you just want to get the results that you want. Like, it's to have a closer relationship with them, or to, you know, spend time with them. Whatever it is, whatever the results are. The you is about you. Meaning, all the soft is about other people. The shoulds, the fears, the theys, the thems. So, it's about you. What do you want? Why do you want to make your kid a priority? Not so they will like you. Not so others think you're a good mom, but why do you want to make your kids a priority? And then the A's evolve, which we talked about, and I love that you said that. We, they evolve. Like, our true priorities, just like our true schedule, they're going to evolve. The priorities, again, we'll say the same, but the, the evolvement of what it looks like to care for your kids, right? The, the baby versus the college student, it's gonna evolve, but they're still a priority. Love it. Oh, so, so, so good. I'm like, I, I. I'm glad I get to listen to this again, actually, because I can write it down. But I'm like, that's so great. Just because I do think when we have something to measure against, like, and honestly, as you say this, I'm like, listen, people out there going, I don't have time to sit down and do this. Give yourself the gift of sitting down to do this. It's not going to take any more time than it does of how bad you feel because you don't get anything done. It's not, we stay up late because we didn't get enough done. All the thoughts we have about how busy or lazy or whatever we say about ourself, right? But this process, yeah, it may take you an hour, but it's going to save you an hour every day. Because I guarantee you we are doing more on in our schedule that we don't need to be doing. Because of the shoulds and the theys and the thems and the others. And so it, you will really save an hour every single day in your schedule if you take the one hour to figure these out. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I, I totally believe that. I just think if we're just willing to sit down and take the time, it will save us so much time in the end. It's worth, worth it. Okay, well, tell me this then. Does starting with a good morning routine really matter? That's another question that I get from people. They're like, what do you do in the morning? What should I be doing? Does it matter? What are your thoughts on a morning routine? Well, I love how you said they ask you what you do, and I like to see there is no one size fits all, right, quote, morning routine. We all have one, and it's whatever you do is your morning routine. Right? So, like, you have one, they have one. Whether it looks the same, they have one. So, it's not about what you do as much as it is about how you feel about how you start the day or how you want to feel. So, the morning routine is essentially... I mean, I'm going to go off a limb and kind of define that. It's like, it's meant to like. Get us ready for the day, feel ready to tackle the day, centered, focused, whatever the purpose is, right? People have created, like, we need to have one. So if you get up and you take time to work out, you read, you pray, whatever it is, and then you feel how you want to feel, whatever the purpose of a morning routine, grounded, centered, um, energized, right? Then that's a morning routine that works for you. But if your morning routine is to roll out of bed, brush your teeth, put on your favorite playlist, get ready for the day, grab breakfast, and you feel ready to tackle the day, Then that's your morning routine and it works for you. Right. And so that's why it's like, it's hard to compare other people's morning routines and saying like, mine is bad and hers is good because I, I listen to music and she's listening to, I don't know, a podcast that's like empowering or something. It's how do they make you feel? So if you learn about someone's amazing morning routine or the perfect morning routine, right? Or you see someone and go, Hey, they do this. I want you to do these five things for me. Ask yourself these questions. Stop and ask yourself how you think they feel from doing that morning routine, right? So if someone says, Oh, I do morning, I wake up with the sun and I take a five mile walk and you know, and they tell you about the routine, how do you think they feel? And then ask yourself, number two is. Is that how I want to feel? In my morning routine, right? Like, like, so if you think they feel grounded, then say, do I want to feel grounded? Right. And then the third one is like, once you decide, like, if that's the routine I want, I guess, is that's the second one. Then does that way, how you want to feel? That's like the third question, right? Just kind of checking in, like, oh, they feel relaxed, but is that how I want my morning routine to feel? No. Well then, you know, like those aren't the right things that necessarily the things you need to do. And then. And let's say you decide, I think they feel grounded. I want to feel grounded in the morning. I'm always feeling really rushed. I would just go on and feel grounded. Then here's the two simple things you have to do. Ask yourself, what are you already doing in your morning that makes you feel that way? And then what are you doing in your morning that's not making you feel that way? And just applying those two little answers will be the start of your most supportive morning routine. Right? Because, like, there's a lot of morning routines out there, and some of them, and all of this is good, but some of them start with, like, sauna rooms and cold plunges and 50 minute meditations and grounding on the grass and being up before the sunrise. And I'm not saying any of that is wrong, but if I had to do those things, I don't think I would want to, right? And so I would repel them. I wouldn't. do them. I would resist them. I would skip them. And then I would beat myself up for being like a person that can't keep a morning routine. Yes. Right. So just cause someone does it and it brings them like meditation is the opposite for me. It makes me go crazy. It just makes me think I'm wasting my time. Like I have a bunch of reasons I could go into it, but I'm not saying it's bad. Some people, their thoughts are so, I don't know, consuming that they have to meditate just to like get in. enough clarity to move on. But for me, I'm like, no, I'm like, for me, the moving is where my thoughts get clear. So for me, I've just noticed like, it's not meditation. It doesn't mean it's bad. It's just, it's not for me. So do what helps you feel the way you want to feel right. Then that's how you start discovering morning routine. So I was trying to meditate for like nine months. I took a meditating course and I finally realized like, I don't have an inner voice. That's like, confusing me and talking to me and make, you know, I don't have anything to kind of like diffuse. Like I actually get the energy out and get the clarity when I just start my day. And so I don't meditate. And so just being willing to own, like what feels good for you and how you, what activities help you feel the way you want to feel, that's your best morning routine. Oh, I love it. And I think what I love about it is because you're kind of giving us permission to just decide, like you just get to decide that it's good. And I think so often we have so much judgment, especially I think sometimes people feel like my day went this way because I don't have a good morning routine, right? They want to like, look at this cause of, you know, if I had a routine, like so and so I, I would be better if I kept my schedule better. And there's just so judgment there. Whereas I love, you're just kind of being like, Just honestly, listen to yourself. Like what do you actually need and do that? Everybody, you have permission not to meditate if you don't want to. I gave it to you, right? I mean, we can see those things and definitely try them. I'm not saying like, I think the cold plunge sounds terrible. I don't know if I'll ever do it, but it doesn't mean I won't not maybe try it. And then maybe I'll be surprised. And it will be so amazing that I'm like, I can't believe I resisted this for so long. So don't be just like. Carbon like, I'm not going to do that thing. That seems horrible, but don't be like, oh, I'm the worst because everybody like, and a lot of our coaching world, right. They're all cold plunging. And it's like, what am I the only one not doing it? Am I not going to get this X success? You know, whatever that is, because I don't cold plunge. It's like. Maybe it's works for some people and maybe for other people, it's not necessary. I actually have decided I actually stay in the shower and put hot water on me for longer because I am kind of a quick do it, do it, do it kind of person. And so my energy is already kind of fast. And so I'm like, if I was in a cold plunge, I would just, I think that would rev up like a nervous energy for me, you know, just like, but I'm like, but I take a shower really quick, get out. And I'm like, so I actually about two years ago started to like. Make myself stay in the shower a longer than I would like, quote unquote, want to just relax into it and let the warm water fall on me. And I'm just like, that's when I kind of realized we all need to know what's really working for us because I know there's benefits to the cold plunge. I'm not trying to say that it's all about one thing or another, but what I am trying to say is I can't imagine what it would do for me. And maybe I'm wrong, right? But I have found something that creates what I want to do. And that's just like pausing for a second. Don't be so fast and so quick to start your day. And I know the cold plunge eventually, like you, that's what you melt into. You have the fast energy and then you're supposed to, you know, I guess, you know, breathe and kind of, I don't really know. Right. But like, it's the same concept of like, Oh, I can do that with hot water in the shower too. It's, you kind of just find yourself and you find your center, you find your peace. And so if I can do it with hot water. I'm going to do it with hot water and that's going to be good enough. Yeah. And I think it goes back to what you were saying about soft and true priorities, right? Like if you have your five priorities and you're saying I only get three things with this priority, right? So maybe I want to try a cold plunge one day, probably not me, but someone else in the world probably wants to one day. Um, but, but overall, like if I really have to narrow it down to the three things that work for me, Then I have to be willing to say again, that's a soft priority because it's something based around what I think I should be doing what others are saying I should be doing and maybe not the good motivation. Yeah, like I lack the X, Y, and Z, so I should do it, you know, kind of thing. So just be, well again, be curious, find things if you see about sauna or red lights, be like, I wonder, and you can not try them, I'm not here to say dismiss them right away, but when you really get to know yourself and your priorities, I realize like, Meditation and, and slowing down with like cold plunges aren't the way that my body receives its energy and it's like ideas, right? People go on long walks or runs and hikes and they get thoughts and then some people meditate and some people, you know, for me, it's like I just start working and start writing pen to paper and things like that. So just kind of notice what works for you. Yeah, giving yourself permission for it to be all good. Love it. Okay. So this podcast is called want to want it. It is about women finally like being able to take themselves off the back burner of their life and really learn like I just so many of my clients and even myself, right? I was like, I don't even know why I like, I don't even know what I desire. Right. And having just this opportunity to really allow yourself to desire and want some things. And so I guess. Maybe it just goes back to what we've already discussed, but, um, it's like my life feels so full of just life, like the cleaning childcare, like cooking, how do I honestly make time to explore desires? Like what, what is something that would help? And maybe it's just really going back to what you've already taught. What's your advice. Yeah, it does go back to right priorities. Cause if you know your priorities, you're going to make time for them because you know the result you want, right? So it's like, if I want that result, I'm going to make time for it. And so then you might spend time incorporating your desires, your passions, right? The things that you want to work for, right? But what I have noticed is the biggest reason that people don't block out time for these things, right? Their desires, their wants is because of thoughts they have, right? First of all, they put it on the lowest of the. priority list. And again, we've kind of discussed, it's not lowest, it's just as important. But then they have thoughts like, it's selfish for me to spend time on this. Or they might think like, there's so much to do that like, it's that all that stuff is way more important. Or this will take too much and then fill in the blank time, money, it will be a waste of energy. Um, it's more important that my child receive X experience, right? Or that I'm doing X for my child than this thing, whatever it is, right? So that's really the, I mean, there's time and I get that we have time issues, but that's really more important is really diving into it. So you might not be thinking those thoughts necessarily, but, or at least you're not aware that you're thinking them. But if you are not exploring. And doing things for yourself that you really wish you had time for and that you were doing, then your actions are speaking those thoughts, right? Not making time for them. So if you're thinking those thoughts, right, you're not going to ever make time for those things because you don't think they're important. So if you want to explore yourself, know what you like, know what you desire. You have to give yourself permission and, and realize that maybe it's not selfish for you to spend time doing something that you want to do. We're alone and we have these thoughts like, man, I really wish I could, you know, or you're going to bed going, man, it would be so fun to develop this habit or to create this idea or start this business. Right. When those thoughts come up, I want you to notice what is the next thing you think, right? Like, That would be crazy, or I don't have time for that, or maybe when the kids get older, right, that's really what to work on, not as much as how do I get time in my schedule to create this, you know, hobby, desire, want. It's really what is that thought pattern that's making me think that it's not important, right? It's not about time as much as it's about we don't believe it's worth the time. Yes. Yeah. I was talking to somebody and I said to her, this isn't actually a time problem. This is a mind problem. And she was like, what? I was like, but it's true. Right. And, and I think for me in the past, I used my schedule as like a beating stick. Like it was. The thing that was supposed to help me get out of overwhelm. And so I just like used it all day to drive myself, drive myself. And so the thought of doing something that I just wanted to do just for me was like, well, I can't do that because if I don't do my schedule, I'm not going to be kind to myself. I don't have any ability to say. That was a good thing that you did for you because it was by beating stick instead of something that was actually creating a life for me. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And it's interesting. Cause like, why wouldn't you just have put you in your schedule? Like it's, it's, it's okay to have a schedule. It's very rigid if you want to call it that. Right. Why aren't you in it? Yeah, and I think it was because I wasn't doing like you like you've suggested right it was it was all the things I thought I should do. And, and I totally had the mindset of scarcity around money around time where it was just like, there's no, there's no time right and that's It just exacerbates not enough time. So like when you had the schedule that you were describing, you were waking up already and overwhelmed. I mean, look at, if you look at how packed your schedule, you're like, how am I going to get all that done today? That's why all time problems really are a mind problem. Because even if you really know how to, you know, have a schedule like you did and keep it, you're waking up every day going, I have so much to do. I'm not going to get it all done. Of course, we're already telling ourself that time isn't enough. Yes, yes. And honestly, like, changing my mind about time has been more important than finding the perfect schedule. Agreed. Yes, because you will find it because you realize, oh, the things lots of times, which is interesting is when I work with women, their schedule doesn't change a whole lot. It's just, they lean into the fact that I'm the boss of this and I can do these things and it's okay. And I'm making Bigger progress towards my, my results because I am doing the true priorities and not the soft priorities, but their day to day stuff doesn't change. It's more their mind and their thoughts about what they're doing and how, and that's the beauty of it. But, you know, most people are like, Oh, I just need time management and productivity and dah, dah, dah. And so I know everything I just told you is a lot about mind stuff. I didn't say. do this, wake up at this time, you know, meditate for 50 minutes. That's not the answer. Yeah. Right. The answer is to own your time and to be grateful for your time and know that you will have enough if you plan from your priorities. Oh, so good. So good. And I'm so thankful for your time. I'm so thankful that you would come on today. Tell everybody how they can find you. I am over on Instagram. It's Siri Pain Coaching. It's C E R I instead of the iPhone. And then my website and Facebook are the same, Siri Pain Coaching. So whichever modality you like, come find me over there. Okay, that is awesome. I will put all that in the show notes. And Siri, you also have a freebie that people can get. I do. I thought it, since we were talking a lot about time, I thought it would be fun to offer one of my freebies. It's 24 ways to save 24 hours this month. And so it's really cool because it's, I just have you think about some of the things you're already doing. You're not going to be doing anything different. All of the suggestions and advice are things you already do like that. It's like the activities you do every day, but I have you think about them and prepare for them and plan for them in a different way to allow you to have more time. To do the things that you want to do. So you can save 24 hours just by following along and kind of changing the way you do a few things. Really brilliant. Thank you so much. Appreciate you so much for being here, everybody. I hope you have a great week. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. Thanks for listening today. If you like what you hear on the podcast, and you'd like to learn more, feel free to head over to my website. Jamilin Stephan coaching.com or find me on Instagram or Facebook at Jamileh. step in coaching.