#126 - Create Your Dreams with Siobhan Westrop

In this episode I interview my long-time friend and poet, Siobhan Westrop. Together we discuss Siobhan's creative journey, her passion for writing, and the inspiration behind her poetry. Siobhan also shares insights into the process of publishing her chapbooks and treats listeners with readings from them. Siobhan's stories and insights will inspire you to tap into your own creative potential and pursue your own passions.

Find Siobhan Westrop on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/siobhanwestrop.poetry/

https://jamelynstephan.com

https://jamelynstephan.com/meet-with-me/

https://www.instagram.com/jamelyn_stephan_coaching/

jamelyn@jamelynstpehan.com

Transcript

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I'm jamielynn Stephan, and this is what to want at episode number 126. Create your dreams with Chavon west drop. Welcome to want to want it a podcast for women of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints who are ready to ignite not only their sexual desire, but all of their desires to create a more fulfilling life and marriage. I'm jamielynn Stephan, I'm a certified life coach, a wife, and a mother of seven children. I'm excited to share my personal journey to desire with you and teach you how to desire more as well. hello everybody. Welcome to the podcast today. I'm just feel so blessed to introduce you to my dear, dear, dear friend, Siobhan Westrop, we have known each other for over 20 years now. It seems so incredible. We were close neighbors for a while. We homeschooled together. Our husbands were absent for many of the years that we lived close. And so we did the single mom thing together. And just been so lucky and blessed over the years to still learn together and hike together and even done some traveling together, which has been such a blessing. And really, I just am so thankful to God for putting Siobhan into my life because she's taught me some of the most profound lessons I've ever learned. She's going to hate that I say that, but she really has taught me so much. And especially when it came to being a mother, just watching her with her children. Just had such a powerful influence on how I have been with my own children, so I'm so thankful to her. But she's also such a good example of somebody who has a desire to create things in the world, and she just goes out and does it. And so that's what we're going to talk about today. But just before we do, Siobhan, can you just introduce yourself to my audience a little bit? Tell us about you. Okay. I'd love to. And thank you, Jamal. And that was all I could do to not just interrupt you and say, uh, no, I wasn't that great. And our husbands were absent, but maybe we should tell the backstory, but we'll just leave it at that. people who know us will know. Uh, I don't really have an impressive bio. I'm still working on it really slowly, but to be brief, I've lived in Lethbridge since 2012 when we moved back from China and I had five kids graduate here and my youngest actually just graduated last weekend, which is very unbelievable. Uh, I'm happily married, even though I refuse to golf and I probably would have more. accomplishments on my bio if I didn't love hiking and climbing and running and swimming and doing all the outdoor things I love to do. Right. I have a couple of poetry chapbooks published and working on another one and I love writing. Yeah, that's awesome. Okay, thank you. So like I said, I have had the opportunity to really witness It's kind of the last 22 years of Siobhan's life and I have watched her create spaces in her home that are just like these cozy, wonderful places for reading and creating and writing. And I've watched her create a really strong family with deeply loving connections and ties to one another. I've watched her create a very healthy body, just like how she eats and how active she is. And, and I watched her make really deep friendships with people. I think I could meet many people that would say Siobhan is their best friend because she just has this way of being with people. And so she just is someone who seems like she desires it. She just kind of goes for it. And I remember listening to her on another podcast and I wrote it down. And I found this quote the other day, just by happenstance, which is really fun. And she said, creativity is the most contagious feeling or power. And I just know that she really does have a deep love for creating things. So, in the recent, most recent years, the coolest, maybe most vulnerable, I guess you can correct me if I'm wrong, Siobhan, thing that she's created, um, has been her books of poetry. And she has two books that we're going to talk about as we kind of go in. But Siobhan, can you just start by telling a little bit about, Like, what inspired you to start writing, because I know you do stories as well. Like, what's inspired you to start writing and doing poetry and those kind of things? Okay, I'm not 100 percent aware of what inspired me initially. I can only say that I've always been drawn to words and writing. And I've been filling up notebooks with little poems and journals ever since before middle school, probably. But I'm really comfortable with acknowledging that the hundreds or maybe even thousands of things I've written, especially poems. Only 47 of them actually exist in print that other people can read. And possibly only half of those, I'm still happy that people can read. So, I have no problem with, uh, killing my darlings, as Stephen King would say. What keeps me going is that I love creating, like you said, and I love words and I always want to play around with them. Mm hmm. And So, I think I'm safe to say I was, or am, inspired by other writers. I loved reading as a child. In grade four, my teacher began reading to us Roald Dahl, The Twits, and So it's kind of started from there. And then I, I was really drawn to the classics, Charles Dickens, Thomas Hardy, Victor Hugo, people like that. And I think just the poetic nature of their writing of that classic, classic writing is what drew me to start writing myself. So I'm inspired by other people who have gone down this road of putting out writing into the world. That's, that's kind of what got me going and keeps me going. And so do you feel like even from the start you were trying to kind of capture your own personal experiences in writing or was it um, trying to kind of mimic as you were younger? Like what, how did that, is it just like I just want to capture this in a beautiful way? Tell me about that. You know what, I don't think it was even really conscious for me. I just, something would happen to me or I'd see something and My default is I must write down some words about this. So another person would paint that or make some music or build a house. I just have to pick up a pen. And get it out of my brain and onto paper. Yeah, yeah. We recently went on a trip with these women that we all love and Siobhan wrote the most beautiful poem about that trip. That is my journal entry of the trip because otherwise I have nothing written down except for her beautiful poem. Okay, so tell me this. Did you ever feel like it was kind of hard for you to allow yourself to desire to write? Or, like, I just feel like I meet so many women who feel like that. Like, I don't have time for that, or that's, that's something that has to wait until my kids are older, like, what, what was your experience with that? Did you feel like, this is just how I am, it's very natural, or did you have to convince yourself to let yourself do it? Um, to find the time to be creative or do some writing. Yeah, and just, just kind of being like, yeah, this is a worthy thing to do. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I just think so often I'll meet people who are like, it seems kind of frivolous or, you know, like you, you did do this with young children, obviously. Like, how did you kind of, how did you do it? How did you let yourself do it? How did you balance it? You've moved across the world a couple of times. Like, tell me about this experience. Okay. Well, I think. Again, it was a pretty organic process for me, and it's, it's kind of a difficult question to answer, was it hard to find time, because everyone finds it hard to find time to do anything. And so, I guess when I was in the throes of it, having five young kids, I had five kids in nine years. Um, I, I didn't realize I was living my dream. I mean, the monotony of diapers or laundry or cleaning or teething or no sleep. It wasn't a big party, but I loved it and was fascinated. With kind of discovering the world along with my children. And I found myself enmeshed in a world of literature because I am so passionate about children's literature. And the world, the natural world, and discovering that along with my children. And I did some homeschooling during those years and kind of made a deliberate decision to Work on my own education at the same time and just allowing myself to be curious to learn what? interests me and Create what I wanted to create along with them Yeah, I think go ahead. Well, I I think there's a bit of a belief system in our sort of busy business like culture that we have to have everything done before we can create something or do something that seems like a hobby because being a writer I wasn't going into an office nine to five and getting paid for what I did during those years. And so even though I kind of fell prey to that belief of let's make sure everything's done, everything's neat, children are asleep, and then I can work on something that is outside of what I must do every day. Yeah. But I don't think I really believed that because I kept taking the luxury, I guess, of, of doing what I wanted to do, which was write things down, read, and. spend time with my Children as I did that. And I do have to acknowledge that not being able to have the opportunity to not have work outside of my home during those years, you know, having a husband that worked extra hard for us and allowed me the opportunity to, to learn and grow for those years when I had young kids. was a huge blessing. Mm hmm. Yeah, certainly, yeah, certainly unique for some people that don't have that opportunity. But you also were like a really big journal writer. Like you, did you write in your journals every day? Were you a daily journal writer, girl? Well, I wish I was really more, um, dedicated on a daily basis to anything. I mean, I've established really strong daily habits. But they are varied and so I, I write something down every day. I wouldn't say I'm a daily journal writer, well, I just feel like I saw you write in your journal often and every once in a while I would get a little glimpse of something in your journal, you would share it somewhere. And I feel like you probably found your voice a little bit there. But were you somebody who wrote? daily in your journal, did that matter to you to have that kind of connection to yourself every day? Yeah, I did. I did find it important every day to have some time to reflect on what I was seeing, hearing, thinking, feeling. And so I probably did write something down every day, whether it was in my journal, or one of my children's journals, or a letter or an email to someone. I I definitely have been writing every single day of my life, right, unless I'm completely on vacation. But even then, I'm always writing. So I had to find time to do that. It was hard, but it wasn't hard, because what I see now that I didn't see then is when I was It's surrounded by littles and you're kind of neck deep in this surging flow of your life, somewhat drowning, is that it's, it was so rich and full and I, I couldn't help but pay attention to that part of my life. And Mary Oliver is my favorite poet and she has this beautiful quote that says, attention is the beginning of devotion. And so I, I see that I was and am devoted to my family and the raising of creative children. And so that's where I would be consistently writing about what that life looked like, what it tasted like, what it smelled like. And so I have all those rich years now to draw from. And so I had to be taking some notes about all of that while it was happening. Yeah. But to actually put it into something that was. I could hold in my hand. It was more tangible came later when I actually did have more time, which is the kids are growing up, they're going to school and I can carve out those real blocks of time that I just didn't possess. Yeah. I love what you're saying because there's a little bit of like, just permission to be in the moment, like not trying to rush to this. Like, I can't wait until I get to the time where I'm able to, uh, carve out more time to be able to create what I really want. It's like, this is part of my experience that is going to, like, nurture the future and I just get to enjoy every minute of this. And, and take it as something that will come with me into the future. I love that so much. So, um, When you started to, like, write a little more seriously, were you doing more poetry with the intention to publish? Were you working on children's book? What was, like, what kind of has the process been where you finally were like, I'm going to publish a poetry book? Yeah. Okay. It was a process and it, I think it really started about 2018, and that's when I did something with a group of friends, you being one of them, is we did The Artist's Way Together by Julia Cameron. So it's a creativity program, and it taught me some really important things. And the first thing it taught me was that I was allowed to say the words. I am a writer. And so I finally just, like you said, you granted yourself some permission for something. I gave myself the permission to say out loud, even though I wasn't getting a salary for this. I am a writer. And the second thing I did to change. My life was, like you said, I created a space. I have a little writing office that I can go into and shut the door and, um, have that place that I know what I'm there to do and I can get it done. And it doesn't mean I don't write at other times and in other spaces, but just creating that physical space that represented, I am a writer, helped me to begin that process. And so, yeah, as I, as I did that and. spent more time doing things. I was working on a few projects. I really want to write children's books and I have a few that I'm working on to get published hopefully in the near future. But I had a lot of poetry that I had been working on and have worked on for many years and I had this idea to make an art poetry book that I just So I started to research publishing and submitting to different literary journals and what I learned after probably a couple of years of research, I'm slow. Was that I didn't want to be slow any longer. And I also was intrigued by the process of publishing. And so I found a publisher and printing company in Calgary. That was amazing. And work with them to create my own book. So I could choose the paper. I could choose the formatting. I could choose my timeline and I could choose the marketing and to be, uh, a big part of that process and make it my own was something that drew me and that's why I decided to do it in that way. So, all right, so am I understanding that if you go with other publishing companies, maybe you don't have as many options, like they have a little more control or does it matter? Yeah, I mean, I think you can have a lot of different experiences, but what I found in just Stepping into that world even a little bit was that I would have to give up a lot of those freedoms to kind of fit into what a different publishing company would want or do with my work, especially being an unpublished poet. I mean, it's, it's a really difficult and lengthy process that it wasn't as important to me to do it in such a traditional way as it was to have something in my hands that I wanted and loved and was proud of and had made. Yeah. Yeah. And so did you find that there was a lot of obstacles once you found this place where they were like, you can pick your paper, you can decide how you want it to look? Was it a fairly smooth process after that? Or what was that like? Well, it was fairly smooth. Um, I did make a lot of mistakes and learn a lot, especially with the first book and the second book, definitely. was easier and quicker and less complicated. But it's pretty smooth because we are not reinventing the wheel at all. Yeah, people I was working with knew what they were doing. So I had excellent professional help in doing what I wanted to do. So I'd say once I picked a publishing company, it went pretty smoothly. Now that said, there are a lot of options. So it's kind of hard just narrowing down. What do I really want being satisfied with what you've chosen? So yeah, learn a lot of lessons learned the first time, but I love that. I liked that part of it too. Yeah, I, and I think that's so good because it, it did kind of force you to have to say like, what is it that I want? And I think oftentimes, like I focus on often in my podcast is like, what do I want and really having to like own that. a lot of just like this is totally me and I get to decide and people might judge it and but I get to kind of step in and really choose like what do I want this to be like so did you ever feel like like once you decided okay I'm a writer did you ever feel later like who am I to be publishing poetry and Or was it just like, no, I'm a writer. This makes total sense. Did it feel like you just flowed right into that? No, definitely choppy waters that I'm still trying to navigate. And, but I see, I see a future. Ahead of me that I think I didn't ever see before just in, in taking those steps that I took, I felt like I am beginning this I'm doing this and whatever actually happens down the road. I have begun the process of actually being a writer. Right. Yeah. So, do you feel like like what does success look like for you do you feel like I'm successful because I began, or do you have this idea of like. Right. an arrival point of like, now I, I mean, does it even matter to you? I don't know. Tell me what, what are your thoughts about that? Hmm. What can I tell you? It's a tough question and a bit, also a bit like shifting, shifting ground under my feet, depending on the outlook of my day or week or month or my confidence level or how much money is in my bank account. I It's a definition that is going to ebb and flow, I guess, with time, but I, there's a German writer and his name is Johann Goethe. And I have this quote by him that I've been so inspired by. And so I think it would be my first definition of success. He said, whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace, and power in it. So if that definition of success would be action, we kind of spoke about this already, just taking some steps towards what you want to do, that is for me the number one success. So if I'm doing something, writing a poem, editing a novel, contacting publishing companies, talking with you, posting on Instagram, on my poetry site, even reading more books of poets or authors that I'm inspired by, all of those things, That's our, uh, barometer of success for me. I love it. And then maybe a second definition. I learned this doing the artist's way again. From Julia Cameron. She said something that was also really beautiful. Maybe you remember this quote. She said, each of us is our own country. An interesting place to visit. It is the mapping out of our own creative interest that invites the term original. We are the origin of our art. It's homeland. This way, originality is the process of remaining true to ourselves. My second definition of success would be, um, I being true to myself and in that way, being original. And I think that is the most, it, for me, it has to be the most important. Success. Is staying true to how I write, what I write, and keeping that at the forefront of all of my actions. Oh, see, she's so wise, everybody. I feel like, where's my pen? I need to be writing these down. That's so good, because it just gives so much permission to think about success in a way that feels so beautiful. honoring to yourself instead of kind of maybe different ideas people have. So I love that so much. Well, sure. But maybe, maybe when I do get the more traditional success of fame and fortune, we can talk again and I will say, this is success. This is actually what it looks like. I don't know. There's so many writers that are successful even after they have passed away. So I know that can't be true. You have to have success inside of yourself, and that is the only success that you're really going to be satisfied with. Yeah, yeah, and I love that really in the end. Are you true to yourself? You've been successful. So, tell me, if you were to be able to go back to a younger version of yourself, would you give her some advice being where you are now, or do you feel like, No, I'm I don't feel like there's anything necessarily I would tell her. Well, number one, I would just love to be younger again. You aren't going to be younger, you're just going back to visit. Younger. Okay. Uh, I don't have Heaps of regrets. And so in thinking about that question, I do think, again, back to the fact that I didn't realize when it was happening, how much I loved it, and how much what was happening in my life. was preparing myself for a time to come. So I do wish I had created that physical space sooner. And it's hard because you're stuffed in when you have a big family, you're kind of on top of each other anyway. And so even if it's a table, a chair, Uh, a blanket that you put on something representing this is my time and this is what I'm doing with it is I think would have been helpful for me. Yeah. I mean, I did have, if I brought out my book or pens, you know, that was a symbol of I'm doing this, but I think to tie some, an action to something physical like that has a power that I didn't understand earlier in my life. Yeah. I'm going to use a quote again. Please do. You know Rilke? He said something so beautiful. And it goes like this. We are unutterably alone. Essentially. Especially in the things most intimate and important to us. So I think my younger self knew this. As in solitude time is very important, but I don't think I knew that it how imperative and valuable. It was because it was just an instinct. So as a writer, I've spent many, many hours alone, and I continue to spend many hours alone. But I think Rilke was probably referring to something a little beyond that physical aloneness. Because I think every Artist and every human probably needs to cherish a solitude that comes with knowing probably the deepest part of yourself and being at peace with that deep aloneness inside of you, and not just a piece. Finding joy in that place because that's where you're going to create from and so I wish my younger self would have put all of those pieces together and, and realize that when you come to that deep place that you're creating from, it's going to add to all the other pieces together. Aspects of your life, your relationships, your work, your health, your recreation and hobbies. If you, if you are in touch with that deep solitude where you're unutterably alone, it will benefit your entire life and well being, if that makes sense. Yeah, but I think it's the place so many of us are so uncomfortable to go. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, we, we love, we maybe like to be alone, but distracted there. Does that make sense? Yeah, and I think that's what draws me to reading and writing is it's just it's just a quiet thing. And you can't have a bunch of other stuff happening at the same time. And so I think that's maybe why it was always pretty instinctual for me is that you slow down, you have to have some quiet and be okay with being there. And I loved being there. Yeah, little book nerd. Hey, paid off in your life. So besides that advice that I guess all of us could take, is there anything else that you would say to somebody who feels like I want to tap in more to that creative part of myself? I do want to create something, you know, but you know, for whatever reason, it's just not happening for me. Is there anything you'd say to someone or that they're just too afraid? Uh, your friends can help you. I mean, doing The Artist's Way, we did it with seven women together, so we had that community that was encouraging each other. And so, I think everyone gives this advice, but having a creative community, or people around you that are going to encourage you to do this, and ask about it or support you in any way is really critical. Yeah. And, and then beyond that, even if you don't have a community at your fingertips, you can join a creative community, whether it's online or just appreciating other people's work, researching, how did they do it? What is their schedule like? What are their habits? And then forming some of those habits into your own life are things that helped me. Yeah, yeah, so good. So good. Would you be willing to read a poem or two for us? Yeah, for sure. I would love to. Or recite, however you do it. Okay, well, since, since we're just online together, I don't have to put on my Costume and do do a poetry show like that. I'll just I'll just read I'll read I'll read one from each book because they're short Awesome. And then I'll read a newer poem. Okay. So first, tell us about your books because you have, what, what are, what's your plans? Tell us about your books and then read to us so that we. Okay. Well, my plan is to make four chapbooks. And so I've made the first two, they all have a different theme. The first one is called Naturally. And I made that with a good friend, Joanne McLennan, who did the beautiful artwork for it. So my plan was to make four art poetry books. Okay, so what makes it a chat book? What does that mean compared to? Okay, yeah, a chat book is just a shorter poetry book, so usually under 40, I think, poems, maybe a 30. I can't remember the facts about chat books, but it's a shorter collection and it's all, has one theme. Okay. So my theme for my first book was nature. And so that is where this. first poem will come from. It is called Sparrows Must Have Souls If We Do. Each giant pine owns a spindly top and sometimes two. One small sparrow attaches itself there. Its hopeful call breaks open the day. In less than a minute another feathered body arrives. Now two souls perch easily, their airy plans ring out well above the light posts and chimney. Together, I mean to say, as one, the two fly on. With equal pleasure, the silver sea of morning mist spreads its wings. Let me assure you, each giant pine hears the sweetness of sparrows and is glad of its possessions. And so, moment by moment, we live. Oh, I love it so much. Yeah, so most of the poems from this first book that has a nature theme are, like I said, I see something, I experience something in the natural world, and it's all I can do to not just start writing then and there about it. So that was the first one. My second book has a theme of grief. Not quite as cheerful. But relatable. Yes. Yes. Yes, very relatable. Very relatable. The book is called Unobservable, and the art medium I used for this book is photography. And the photographs were mostly done by, MacLennan. And it was really wonderful to make this book with her. Mm hmm. A little poem from this book is called Another Poem. The sun is white. It is the moon. There is nothing to separate them. This will take some getting used to. I think Shane's favorite are my shortest poems because there's less reading involved. Every husband likes the short poem. Yes, but didn't Shane do the picture for that poem for you? Yes, Shailen, wow. You are so cool. Well, I've read, I've read the book. Thank you. Give us one more. Do you have one more? Okay, yes, but that is another nice thing about chapbooks is they're short and you can read them all in one sitting if you want and really get a sense of the arc of someone's ideas behind a theme. So, that's why I really like chapbooks too, it's they're very cohesive. Right. So, one more poem, and I'm sharing this one because it is spring, and I love this time of year. So, it's called Spring Persuades Summer. I'm greedy for it, like a blood transfusion, which I've never had but I can imagine the convincing flood of new blood, maize oxygen, awakening every hibernating cell, making life livable, breathable green coursing through me, stout veins, crocuses everywhere, everything everywhere, all of it generous. You're so good. You're so good with words. That's so beautiful. Okay, what is next? What's next for you? You, you have two more chat books you're trying to do? Yeah, working on two more chat books. So I'm almost done my next one and it needs to be published in this year for me to meet my goal. I wanted to publish one every year for four years. So. It will be out, but before the end of 2024, I'm going to say the end of November right now. What's the theme? Can you tell us? Can you tell us the theme for your next book? Sure. It is a book of love poems. So get ready. Get ready for romance. Romance. It's not all happiness, but it's still love. And what's the art? The art is watercolor. Oh, beautiful. Also, it's a really fun thing to work with an artist. It goes back to that creative community. The collaboration is such a powerful force. Awesome. Okay, so you've got two chatbooks coming. Anything else you're working on? Yeah, I'm working on a few children's books. So I have, um, them underway and I'm just looking for publishers and working on illustrations. So they are in the making. Mm-Hmm. And those are my, those are my main projects and keep me pretty busy and. Retreating to my office as much as possible, which in the summer isn't quite enough, but, you know, I'm filling up, filling up my head with ideas when I'm outside. So that's what. Yes, there you go. There you go. That justifies it all. It's just too hard when you live in Canada. You have to get out all summer long. Yeah, you do. So tell my listeners where they can find you if they wanted to order your books, if they wanted to read more of your poetry, uh, just get to know you a little better, where is the best place to find you? Okay, well the best place to find me right now is on Instagram, and that's SiobhanWestrop. poetry. And I tried to post poems regularly, but definitely meeting with you and having this talk has made me re be re motivated to get to work on kind of more of the public or mark marketing side of writing. I'm working on a website. and ways to make my books more accessible. So if you direct message me on Instagram, I can get you a book. And then they are also at the bookshop called Analog in Lethbridge and Flowers on Ninth in Lethbridge. Those are the only two shops that they're in right now. And they're also at public libraries in High River, Okotoks, Claresome, Lethbridge. I might be missing a couple. Pincher Creek. So happy to have them in libraries so anyone can rent them at any time. And happy to connect with anyone over Instagram to talk about my books or poetry in general, or just get to know new friends in the community. Okay, and I will put a link to that in the show notes. Uh, if you go to my dad's medical clinic, you'll find them there too. He has them in his waiting room because he loves them so much. So, yeah, they're there. Siobhan, I cannot thank you enough for coming on. I just even feel for myself just more of this, um, it just kind of reignites in me this feeling of I want to create I want to just know myself a little better and and create the things in my life that I have a desire to create and I appreciate your example and for your, um, encouragement today. So thank you. Thank you. Thanks for listening today. If you like what you hear on the podcast, and you'd like to learn more, feel free to head over to my website. Jamielynn Stephan coaching.com or find me on Instagram or Facebook at jamielynn Stephan coaching.