#129 - Going After What You Want with Jarad Stephan

On this episode I have my most special guest ever - my husband, Jarad Stephan. He is really good at going after what he wants. Our conversation explores topics like setting goals, the challenges of navigating life's unexpected paths, and the importance of aligning one's desires with God's will. Jarad also shares insights on manifesting dreams, the role of sacrifice, and the process of trusting God's plan. We also discuss societal expectations and the different messages men and women receive about their desires.

https://jamelynstephan.com

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jamelyn@jamelynstpehan.com

Transcript

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I'm jamielynn Stephan. And this is what taunted episode number 129. Going after what you want with Jared Stephan. Welcome to want to want it a podcast for women of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints who are ready to ignite not only their sexual desire, but all of their desires to create a more fulfilling life and marriage. I'm jamielynn Stephan, I'm a certified life coach, a wife, and a mother of seven children. I'm excited to share my personal journey to desire with you and teach you how to desire more as well. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the podcast today. I'm the most excited today because I have the best guest on that I have been wanting to have on my podcast for a long time. When I first started the podcast, I said to him, maybe you should get on and do a podcast called in my defense. But that never happened. And we've talked about different topics that he could come on and discuss with me. Um, and then finally I was like, listen, you are somebody who just goes after what you want. And that's such a good topic for desire. So I want to introduce you to my husband. Jared Stephan. And I'll actually let him tell you a little bit about himself. Go ahead and tell us about you, Jared. Well, thanks Jane one. And I'm doing one's husband. I'm also known as Jared Stephan. And, uh, We've been married for 26 years coming up on 27 years. Very shortly. I was born in. Alberta and raised mostly in Alberta and. One of five boys. I have a twin brother. Uh, I grew up, you know, Actually moving around quite a bit. And, um, I think that actually helped me become fairly adaptable in my life. Having to move from place to place. I think I went to six different elementary schools. Before we finally settled down in red deer, Alberta, which was really good. And I had wonderful parents. Um, you know, we didn't. Always have a lot, but, uh, I always knew that they loved me. And that was probably one of the biggest gifts that I had in my life. I served a mission after high school, I served in Japan. Which was another great blessing and gift to my life as bless me, richly. And after I got back from Japan. I started attending school at red deer college, um, and met Jamilin. And we were married. You know about. A little less than a year later. And we've been. Happily married. Dare I say. The majority of that time. We'll see, we're happily married for the majority of the time. Anyways. Um, I'm very grateful. For jam Lynn and she's a wonderful wife and, uh, she is. And wonderful mother to our seven children. And. You know, it's, it's been a good journey. And I think that. With any journey. There are challenges, any good journey, actually. There's there's challenges and there is things that you have to struggle through. And, um, I think that there's ups and downs. But that's the makings of a good journey in my opinion. Is that there's good times and hard times and sad times, and really a full range of things that you experience. You know, we like to climb mountains a lot, and I think that any good hike has those episodes and those times where it's really challenging. And you're like, what am I doing on this hike? And I think that we sometimes look at our life like that a little bit. And we're like, what am I doing with Jared? It's crazy sometimes. You know, and I'm probably like, what am I doing? I actually, I shouldn't say that. I'm always very grateful for GM one. She's we. Air all the laundry here. Yeah. Maybe this should be in my defense. I. But. We've had a very, very good life together. And we've been richly blessed. And, um, you know, you're talking about going after what you want and kind of seeing your dreams come. Com, uh, into reality. And I think that's kind of what you want me to talk about. And I think. We can look together and say that. Our life has been, that has been a manifestation of a lot of dreams coming into reality. No, as you look back and say, well, what do I want my life to look like? And I think that we kind of end up. Reaching that thing that we're looking for. I think that as we talk. One thing that will become more and more obvious is that. You know, the pathway to where we think we're going to get or where we're wanting to get. Even though we meet yet, there, it's not the pathway. We envision a lot of the time. Um, the pathway actually ends up being very, very different. For a lot of things that we end up maybe getting too. But there's a lot of, you know, detours and unexpected. Things that happen along the path to getting where you want to be. About can sometimes deter you from continuing on. But when you kind of hold that, that dream really firmly in your grasp and feel like no, I can get there. And then you figure out ways to overcome those obstacles are. Go around that detour and persevere until you actually kind of find that thing that you're looking for. So do you feel like, because this is what I'll tell you about Jared. It has been such a blessing in my life. And sometimes the bane of my existence is that as soon as he has an idea, Of something that he wants. It is like, it just appears, it just seems to just happen. And I don't know, I think my anxiety around what it was going to mean if whatever he wanted happen made it so that I would sometimes be what he would call a dream killer. And so I definitely have been very blessed, but also had times where I have been like, man, if this guy just decides he's going to get it and what's that going to mean to me or for me? So. I guess what I want to know first, Jared, because I feel like I am just learning the act of manifesting. Um, deliberately, I think that there's lots of things that have happened in my life that I. I wanted and didn't realize that I was creating along the way and just was like more hoping was coming my way. But I feel like you approach things so differently. So when you have a dream or something that you really want, do you feel like it is so easy for you to picture it and to like, feel yourself there? What what's it like for you when you have this desire? Yeah, I think that there is an ability to kind of project into the future. And be in that situation where you are living that thing that you're hoping to be. And I think that I can actually, when you talk about that, see myself in that scenario and what it would feel like or what I think it would feel like, but at least to feel like, yeah, I'm there. And there is a pathway to that. I think that what I usually don't understand is what that pathway is. You know, And that's where it becomes. I can say it's kind of exciting in some ways it's, it's, it's something that I've come to realize though, is that yes, I can project and see myself. In that future state. In that thing that I'm hoping for to come about. Being there and actually happening. But. As I've gone through lots of things that I've wanted to see happen in my life, the pathway I realized it's not for my determining. And sometimes it's frustrating. But there also has to come a level of acceptance. Like the pathway is going to be what the pathway is. If it's truly what you want, then it's not going to necessarily always be easy. Yeah, I that's actually funny because I remember, especially when we were first married, we kind of had this idea. I know you didn't really mention that you also did medical school and, or a physician, but we just had this idea of like where you were going to go to school and where we were going to live. And. And it all changed. It was like, God took this big cosmic eraser and just totally erased our plans. But in the end, we actually ended up with everything we wanted. We had the family we wanted, you got into medical school. Like all of the things that we actually had wanted to create in our life came, but totally different than we thought. And I just remember. At the beginning feeling so frustrated, so discouraged. So disappointed. At setbacks. And then finally, just when I finally was able to kind of settle into it, just realizing, because we were far enough along that I could look back and see God's hand and recognize like, oh, It's all coming together. Just in a better way than I could have even imagined. Really, even though it felt frustrating at the time. And I think that's really important what you said there about. You know, it comes together, but in God's way, And I think that gods. Got the master plan. He sees all that. He understands all and he does, I think often put in our minds. The things that we should. Be looking for in our lives. Those goals, those aspirations, whether they're physical or spiritual or temporal or whatever. I think that there is a plan there that is put there. Bye. Maybe ourselves in our premortal existence in consultation with our father in heaven. And we design our lives. And that design sometimes becomes very strongly imprinted on us and things that we think we should be doing in our lives. Because I do think that, you know, like we make a plan. And God has a plan for us, but I think we were co-creators in that plan before we came to earth. And. Well, that's, that's something that comes out in my patriarchal blessing actually is. That. You know, I helped design this plan for my life. So I think there was, you know, certain things in my life that I always felt like I was called to do. And to be. And one of those was being a physician, you know, like when I was very young, Even like second grade or third grade. I remember my teacher asking me. Um, saying, Hey, what do you, what do you want to be when you grow up? And I'm like, well, I want to be a doctor. I was like, oh, is this, is there somebody in your family? Has doctors, your dad a doctor? I'm like, no, I don't know any doctors. They're like, well, how do you know you want to be that I'm like, I. Just want to be that. And that never changed. Like. Never once. Was that ever anything that I ever said, I want it to be different than that. And certainly, you know, like I look at that and think that was always part of the plan for me, that I, that I was going to do that because I always felt it very, very strongly that it was something in the direction I should go. In my life now, the path to doing that. I was no more challenging than I thought it'd be. And, um, You know, there's lots of good lessons though. But I learned through walking the path to get into medical school and. To get through medical school and, you know, to determine what I do in a specialty. And there's been lots of surprises and generally they're really good surprises. But, um, lots of challenges along the way as well. Okay. So you are, to me, you are a big idea, man. I always am like, oh, he's got big ideas. Do you ever feel like I'm so crazy? Or like, this is totally out of reach or impossible or selfish? Like, do you ever get this negative? Self-talk when you have an idea or does it just feel like, oh, this is it. And I'm just like going for it. Like, I feel like I get negative chatter. Hmm. You know, I don't really get a lot of negative chatter. I'm your negative chatter? Sometimes you might be my negative chatter. But I don't want to actually produce a lot of negative chatter. I bought the things that I feel are actually the things that should be doing. You know, there. There are things where I'm like, I might have this grandiose idea or this. Thing. That would be one. Wouldn't this be awesome. You know, like I remember like, oh, wouldn't it be awesome to be like a professional tennis player? Yeah. And there's a part of me though. That's like, Hey, that's not really your path. You know, But for those things that I truly do feel are my path. No, there's there's, there's no negative chatter. Wow. That's theirs. I guess there's just a real belief that that is the path. And because it is what I'm supposed to do. It's going to work out. Okay. So tell me this, because there was a time when you and your brothers were looking at buying a property together and you went all in on it. And I really believed in my heart, it was 100% going to happen because Jared was all in on it. But it did not materialize. So. Like, how do you make sense of that? Like what do you think about it? Like, but it didn't work out. What's your thoughts about it? Like, was it hard for you? Was it shocking to you? When you're disappointed it was, I. You know what, like this is that that's an interesting experience. And actually there was good things to learn from that. And I think sometimes, you know, like there's things. I talked about like the things that we, that we know we want that are in line with really what the grant design and plan is. And was this one of those things that was in line with one of the grit with really what the grand design and plan is. And I guess in the end I could say, I don't know, obviously it wasn't because it didn't happen. But there was a time in there where this was truly something that I was working hard for. No, the other side of the coin is, you know, if, if I had been left solely up to me, we probably would have had the property because when it came to bidding and stuff, I told my brothers, I'm like, no, this is what we need to bid. If we really want this. I mean, cause it was a group and we had different opinions. We ended up cutting, going middle of the road. And it didn't work out. But my thoughts on it were, Hey, this is what we have to do for me to make this happen. And I guess that's sometimes what happens when you're in relationship with people and their designs and ideas. Aren't the same. And maybe it wasn't the right thing for them. So the interesting thing, though, that came out of that. Was, I remember really. You know, Telling God, Hey, I want to see this happen. And, um, And really kind of being quite prayerful about that. And having some level of about, you know, is this going to work out or not? And, um, I remember. Praying about this and this having this kind of. Overwhelming feeling. And these thoughts come into my hand head. Sorry. That God said, he's like, Hey. That's all right. I know you, I know your family and I got you. And. That wasn't him saying? Yeah, you're going to get this. And I recognize that at the time. But I did realize that. This is okay. Whatever happens was meant to happen. And the outcome is okay. And so you can be at peace that the outcome is understood by me, your father in heaven. And that's all right. And so when the outcome came, not in our favor, Because we're in this bidding war. Which wouldn't have been a bidding war. It was. But when it didn't come out in my, in, in, in the, in the, in our favor. I actually had a lot of peace about it because I had that experience where, you know, God was saying to me in my mind, like, I know you and what you want. And I got you and your family. That's okay. So when it didn't happen, I'm like, it's okay. This is what God intended. And, um, you know, he has something better or different in store for us. And so he sees all, he knows all he understands all. And so, you know, what will happen will be what's meant and intended for our family. I think sometimes the challenge that. We have is really learning to submit our will to God's will. And not try to. You know, tell God what's best for us. You know, and that's something that's always kind of tricky to do. And I feel like, you know, when we have our desires in line with what God desires for us, There is a moment where you can feel that. And, you know, sometimes God puts stuff in front of you that you didn't really expect. And you're like, oh, is this what I need to be doing? And. He'll be like, yeah, this is what you need to be doing. For this kind of external push or pressure to. Embark on a different type of journey. That you weren't really expecting yourself to embark on. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. And so right. You know, I'd say like, that's going to New Zealand. And it was one of those things. Where. God kind of put it into my mind that this is what I need to do. And I really felt a push. Externally to move towards that. And, um, do you ever feel like your. That you ever get in your head a little bit, like I'm pushing through the store no matter what, like, I want it so bad. Like, do you ever have to kind of catch yourself? Pushing too hard for something. Or is it just like, no, I, I just push hard because that's how I get what I want. Um, I think that when it's. Th there is like kind of a point where you're. Were you doing something and you have to kind of say, All right. Is this not happening because it's not supposed to happen. Or is it not happening because. I haven't done. What's required to have it happen yet. You know, most I I'm a very firm believer in the law of sacrifice. And we have to be putting willing to put on the alter something. To get something better. And there's a sacrifice required. This is an eternal principle to bring about really amazing, good things in your life. It will require sacrifice. Of some sort. And figuring out what that sacrifice is. It can be a challenge. No. But on the other side of the coin is. You know, is it really what God intends for us? And when we have in our hearts that we truly want to follow God. And we want to be able to do his will even more and above are our will. And he understands that there will be sometimes an impediment to you succeeding in the thing. That is not truly what God understands is best for you. And so I do think that God. You know, doesn't. Give us what we don't want. And if what we want is his will to be manifest in our lives. Sometimes that means he's going to withhold stuff that he knows. It's not going to be far best. The trick is sometimes figuring out well. Is it not happening because I haven't put the right sacrifice on the alter yet. Or is it not happening because it's not, what's intended for me to have, and I've already told God. That first and foremost, I want his will manifest in my life. Right. Do you, do you feel like, like, you know, I also sometimes have days where I'm like, why is this so hard? And then I realized like, oh right, I'm trying to do this all on my own. Do you have times where you feel like, oh, I'm forgetting. Like I gotta align myself. I gotta align myself to. With God to a different energy here. And do you like, do you feel like you ever get. Kind of in the throws of just like wanting it and going for it. That you like, oh right. I need to realign myself here. Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. There's obviously times where it's like, okay, I know this is, this feels like the right path to be on. But things aren't quite happening. The way I expect them to happen. I'll put them to happen. And so. When that happens. I look at it and say, Oh, I need to probably. Question myself. Am I not involving God enough? And do I need to realign this goal a little bit? Not really realign the destination, but the path there. So it involves Cod more. And that he becomes an equal partner right in this. Do you feel like you have always been kind of the psych goal-focused lots of desired driven person? Or do you feel like it's something that you kind of developed over time as you started to just get older? Like, do you feel like it just was. Uh, part of you. I think that. Um, There's always been some element of. Wanting to. Accomplish some things that were important to me. You know, I always wanted to be a doctor. I always wanted to get married and have a family. And. You know, there's some big picture ideas that I'd always wanted to see kind of happen. And as for like, Minutiae goals. In and day out. This is what I want to do. I'm not always the best at that. You know, There's there's kind of the treadmill of life that you step on and it's like, all right, I'm going to. Do this today and tomorrow it's going to rinse and repeat. And back at work. But, um, but you've done some, like, I mean, even just like, I'm going to go off. Sugar or for an eternity or. You know, you just you've done some things like that, where it's like, You just get it in your head and. Just like, go for it. It's like you don't even care about the discomfort. Yeah, I think there's some benefit to trying to put yourself in a situation where you are doing something that's a little challenging. And requires you to. Suffer a little. Sorry, everybody. Suffering mandatory apparently to reach your dreams. Suffering. We're sacrificing or whatever you want to call it. Yeah. There's work required. And. Um, If you want to call it suffering, you want to call it pain. Or discomfort. There there's that element of that, which requires. Which is, I guess, really a requirement for the growth that's needed to get you to the next level. You know, we've talked about. Growing pains as kids. And those are very physical manifestations that you have of an experience that. You know, seems to be. Linked to your growth. And it's uncomfortable. Yeah, but would you really want to stay small forever? Or would you be able to, you know, manage that pain of growth? Two. You know, gain yourself and stature. And we can look at that as a very physical realm. When we're children and we're trying to grow into adolescents and grow into adulthood physically. Yeah. But you know, when it comes to, what do I want to be in? Do I want to grow? In my life, in my relationships, in these things that are important to me. Am I willing to go through that growing pain, which is going to be uncomfortable. And voluntary, right? Voluntary. It's a choice. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes. Yes. Sometimes. Life comes at you and you're forced to grow. Yeah. And I think that's part of God's design as well. Is that. You know, we signed up for this with the idea that, you know, we understood that there would be some challenges. And. That's okay. That's the challenge has come. And I think they're uniquely tailored for us. To help us grow into the person that God intends us to be. Yeah. Okay. So. There's a lot of women that feel like they aren't given a lot of permission to desire things, or it's kind of like, here are the things you can want. And that's kind of what you can desire. And they look at men and feel like men are given permission to desire anything and everything. Do you, do you feel like that is true? No. Okay. Yeah. Don't tell me about it. I think that it's a lie that people buy into. And I think that's an unfortunate lie. I think that, uh, No men and women have in this society here anyways, a lot of equality of opportunity. And I think that's a blessing. I think that, uh, we sometimes look around and try to find excuses for why things aren't happening the way we want them to happen. But ultimately in the end. I think that it comes down to what are you willing to sacrifice to get what you want? And. Um, but I think, I think what some women find is that it's like, I have to like, Give up some, I, I'm not like. Uh, good girl. All right. It's. I'm giving up some. Kind of goodness. Goodness. Too. Want more than maybe society has told me I can have. Do you know what I mean? And I don't know if that exists for boys, for men. The same as it seems to from women. And I think it, it bleeds into. All sorts of areas of their life. I remember taking Jennifer Finlayson fights the art of desire course, which you should all take. It's so good. But, you know, she really does talk in there a lot about this psych. You know, many women have suppressed desire because they need to be selfless. They need to be others focused. They need to be only wanting. Things that, you know, they only want motherhood only want to be a wife and not because anything is wrong with those desires. W when I was asked in elementary school, what I wanted it to be, it was like, I want to be a mom. And I never changed that either. And I don't feel bad about that. But I certainly do see that there is kind of this. I don't know. It's not because opportunity isn't there. It is there, but there's also this messaging of like, A good woman. Is kind of desireless she's desirable. Right. Like she needs to be desirable. But she herself. Is kind of desire less. And do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think that, um, we do get a lot of cultural messaging. And, uh, messages from society from. For both genders. That can be. Very. Uh, counterproductive to a succeeding in. You know what our true desires are. And what do you think it is for men? What do you think the messaging is? That is hard. Really. Yeah. Yeah. What's the messaging. That's hard. Um, I don't have to think about that a little bit.'cause one thing that I think is a little bit of like, You should, you should be super ambitious. You should be almost a little cutthroat. You should be. You know, you should know what you should know, what you want and go for it. Right. And I feel like there's a lot of impatience about young adult boys who don't know what they're, what they want to do. Maybe over young adult girls who don't know what they want to do. Um, and maybe that's not totally accurate. Yeah, I think that there's some expectations that, uh, Do you get put out there? And whether they're fair or not, I guess, you know, that's up to the individual to decide. I don't know if it's necessarily fair for other people to put a lot of expectations on people that they don't know. But. No. Th there are definitely cultural expectations that come through for men. You know, I can think about, I can. And it's not that all of them are bad, to be honest with you. You know, in some of the expectations. Came, you know, are, are very intimate in, in a more culture of a family. For example. Right. And I can think about things that were expected. Me of me as a child and where these things fair all the time. I don't know. Well, I think there's probably good things and bad things about it. I remember. You know, like saying, Hey, my, my dad's saying, go get yourself a job and go pay for your, your textbooks in high school. And that's not my responsibility. That's shores. And. Get your own clothes. And if you're going to want a car, you're going to buy it. And. And that's okay. You know, like there was this. Culture of learning to be self-sufficient. And some people might look at that and say, well, you know, that's not really great for, to put all that responsibility on a teenager. And there might be some legitimacy to that. But on the other hand, There is some legitimacy to, to learn how to be self-sufficient. And, you know, there are lots of expectations that are put on to people, especially within the church too. And it's not that those are all bad. The challenge comes to, you know, how do you rectify if you feel like you're falling short? Of an expectation. And the other question is, you know, where's that expectation coming from. Is that coming from? You know, a source that doesn't really have any business putting that on you. Right. Or is it coming from a source that does. And ultimately, you know, I think you have to really search out in your heart prayerfully. This is something that God expects me to do. Okay. Tell me this then. This is. Do you feel like there are certain things. That maybe aren't as socially acceptable for a man to desire or maybe anyone to desire. I I've talked to women. There are certainly things where they, they struggle with. There doesn't seem to be a social acceptance of. Like it, it's good to want this, but not as good to want that. Do you feel like men are in that quandary? Sometimes themselves as well of there are socially acceptable things for me to desire. And so when I go for them, people applaud me and then other things that people are a little bit like, are you. Sure. Are you crazy? Yeah, that's really dependent on the society that you keep. Because I could look out and say, Hey it's is it socially acceptable for me to. You know, Work and. You know, Just be a workaholic and. Bringing as much mess as much fortunate as I can at whatever expense and climb the ladder of, you know, whatever corporation. Or, you know, Aspire to these positions of power and prestige. And for some people. They might be like, yeah. Yeah, of course you should want that. You should want to, you know, climb as high as you possibly can in that realm. And. You know, some other society might be like, Hey. What are you doing? You know, there's an expense to what you're doing. Yes. I see, and they might be like, you look at all the neglect that you're having. You're, you're missing out on your, your wife and your kids, and then growing up and spending time with them. So it really depends on the society that you keep and the voices that you're listening to. Yeah. No. So there are expectations either way. No, because you can make the argument. As well that, and we talked about. The aspiring to really great per professional success. Okay to aspire a great professional success. Is going to cost something. And somebody might from one society say, what are you doing? That's horrible. And the other society that. You know, He holds those values dear, or maybe we're trying those. For whatever reason that same arena. Or like, yeah. Push as hard as you can at the expense of whatever. Yeah. Whereas the other society would be like, no, Step back. You know, you don't need to do this. All right. And I think that in the end, you really have to listen to the spirit. As to what direction you have to go. Yeah. And I think that. You know, God will speak to us. About. How hard we have to push them one direction. You know, And there's messages that come. You know, like I remember God. I don't remember my dreams very often. But there are a few dreams. I really remember. And they're messages for me. And I'm quite confident of that. And one of these dreams I had, I remember that. I's in this race and it's kind of like on boogie boards in this river. And. As racing against all these people. And I was good at this race and it seemed like I got out of control and it's hitting these waves and this river and balancing, balancing all of a sudden. Just flying through the air. And my car will know, and then like, I'm going to crash, but this wind catches me. And it just places me gently down on the side of this cliff. And I looked down. I can see the river and I'm like, oh, I'm okay. Uh, cool. That was. I was lucky I was going to crash on the rocks somewhere, you know, cause I just got launched out of this river. But I was really doing good in the race. I was like, and I liked being good in the race. That felt good. But on the side of the mountain there. It was very calm. And peaceful. I looked down on the river and like, the race is still going on. I'm like, okay. Got to get back in the race. At all sudden my father's beside me. And he looks at me and he says, son, You don't have to go back there. And. Well, that was a strong message to me because I realized, Hey. Yeah, you have some responsibilities here. But the purpose of this life, isn't the race. And so there's a check and balance to things that come in. We're willing to listen to God and his messages for us. Yeah. So no getting back to your question. Yeah, it's really, depending on the society that you're listening to as to whether their expectations. Or her fair or not for you? And you really have to kind of figure out. Ultimately what that plan God has for you and your life. And. What the things that are important that he wants you to accomplish are. And we can get distracted very easily by listening to society. And the messages there that, um, You know, Seem promising. But don't deliver the peace and joy and happiness that will come if we're truly following what God wants us to do. So good. Okay. So, because as I always say on here, If nothing else, I have these podcasts that I can share with my children. Um, even if nobody ever listens to them. So. What would you want to tell our children or teach them that hopefully my listeners can benefit from as well. To help them succeed at dreaming and desiring and going after what they want. Yeah, I think the dreaming is awesome. And I think it's. Really great to have dreams. Um, I think her life is really kind of empty. If there's not a dream there. And. I think that, you know, we have to give ourselves permission to dream. No, it's, it's kind of a starting point to building something. And being curious about what is it? I truly want my life. What do I want it to look like? And kind of going down these different ideas. Well, what if I did this or that? And kind of striking on something that feels good. And I think that, uh, you know, when you strike on that thing, that feels right. That you start. Working towards it. If it's not the right thing. No, I do think there'll be impediments that are insurmountable. That will come up. Yeah. No. The insurmountable. Impediments to come, but. You just always have to kind of go back to God and just say, what is it that you want me to do? And if it is something that I'm still supposed to do, even though it's hard. I'm willing to keep working at it. Just kind of show me what it is. I need to sacrifice here and how to include you in this decision that my life. So that we're able to, co-create something that's incredible. And lasting and in the end, ultimately, terminal. Yeah. I, I feel so much more as I've worked on this myself. Just so much more of just when you allow yourself to desire. And I've had times where I actually have to require myself to actually step into desire. And when I do that, I feel more like myself. Right. Desires are an expression of you. Right. Like saying, I want this it's so different than I need something. Like I need food. I need shelter. I would say that those basic needs, but just wanting something just because you want it because, and we don't all want the same things. That's how we know it's kind of an expression of us. Right. Yeah. And so I feel like that is the thing. And that's the reason why I do kind of want people to be able to. Just allow themselves. A glimmer of what they desire and what I'd want for my kids is just think about what you desire. And like you said, dream about it. Let yourself want it. Because it is, even if it doesn't come to pass. It is you. Kind of honoring you and learning about you and being you. I don't know. Do you, does that make sense? Yeah. There is a, uh, Another line out of my patriarchal blessing that says the greatest desires of your heart can be yours. And. There's a couple of things that stand out there for me is like our desires can be great. Yeah. They should be great. I know I'm a little bit of a smaller dreamer than Jared, but I'm getting better. Have great designers. Dream big. It's fun. It honestly is fun. Yeah to dream big, but the greatest desires of your heart. I think the other thing there's like, uh, have great desires. And they don't that certainly a great desire doesn't necessarily mean a big desire, but it means it's something great. You know, But it's of your heart. And so you have to understand your heart. Yeah. And if you don't understand what you hurt really wants. You know, it's going to be hard to figure out what that great desire is. Yeah. There is a journey of kind of trying to understand yourself. And understand who you are. And understand. You know what that better part of you really wants. And really needs. We often feed. You know that. Uh, not so great part of us. There's definitely a dichotomy to us. All of us as individuals. Yeah. And sometimes we feed that. Uh, part of a set isn't really that great. And that part of us that is kind of selfish and self centered and. Maybe lazy. Procrastinates. No, you, you call me. You have, I know you have a name for me. My twin brother. And it's true. Sometimes we procrastinate. And that is an unfortunate, you know, shortcoming of myself that sometimes. Crops up. And I recognize that, and that's not the great part of me. You know, that's, that's not the heart that needs to be there. And there's a purifying that comes to us through Christ that allows us to, uh, really create a great life. You know, Um, I think that, you know, the other thing that I'd say is when your desire. Is truly. The desire of your hurt, your pure heart, the hurt that is given to you by God. Um, you know, he talks about he'll take that heart of stone and replace it. With a fleshy heart. That kind of heart. You know, the heart that is submissive to God and really wanting to do his will. When you have that as your desire. You unlock the powers of heaven to really help you succeed in your dreams. And you get that enabling power when you're following God's direct directions for you. You know, I can think about when I became the chief of anesthesia and that was something that I felt called, directed me to do. Um, I really do. I wasn't going to apply for that job. I looked at it, but that's a headache. That's going to be. A lot of problems and as well aware of the problems that were going to come my way, if I did that. But I couldn't deny that that's what God wanted me to do. And so I applied for it. And he gave me enough. Of his power. To be able to persist in doing what I needed to do. In that job. And it wasn't always fun. But, you know, I'd have colleagues, like, how do you, how are you doing all this that you're doing? And. Yeah. Cause they know what my life was like, and I throw this huge roll on top of it. And I'm like, that's it back and think about it. And I'm like, you know what it is. It's it's the power of God's spirit. You know, his strength becomes your strength when you're doing his well. When you're following his directions in your life. So figure out what God wants you to do. You know, have a pure heart. Understand what your heart wants. I understand that, you know, the things that you're going for. Are the things that God wants you to go for. You have that belief. And you work towards those things. And you're willing to submit to what God asked you to do. You know, even if it's scary, Then you're going to have his power behind you, and you're going to see amazing things happen in your life because God is amazing. He's incredible. And he can make anything happen. He thinks bigger than we think I could have named this episode. Testify, fight Jared's stuff. It's awesome. So good. But tell me this. I think some people get judgmental about certain desires, right? They think. You know, Like in my opinion, I think there's a lot of people that are very famous for different reasons. Inventing something, being an actor, being a singer. You know, and, and I think God's hand is in that. That I think some people feel like if my desire is to be a famous singer. That seems. It's selfish or shallow or not worthy of maybe God's approval. Do you know what I mean? I think. It can be kind of, we get in our head what we think. Uh, an acceptable desire to God would be. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's dangerous to try to think, you know, the will and mind of God. Especially when it comes to someone else's life. Yeah. I think that, uh, You know, there is a plan. That God has for all of his children. And that plan may be some kind of. No famous individual. And I think that, you know, the other truth is that. God is always trying to give us what we truly want. And if we're willing to sacrifice for that. And we'll get it. Sometimes even if it's not the thing, that's the best for us. Right. Yeah. I mean, I had a recent. Uh, interaction with a new friend of mine. And he was telling me about his journey to God. And, um, he was, you know, telling me that, uh, he was sitting there and. And living a life that didn't have a lot of God in it. And, uh, God's. No set in his mind. Is this really what you want. Cause if it is. And I'll leave you alone. If this is really what you want. No, we get what we want. Yeah. Gabby Bernstein says the universe. Always says yes. To what. We focus on and desire. Even sometimes. To our own Detra, our own detriment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Well, I really, really appreciate your insights, your vulnerability. You've been very vulnerable. And, um, so appreciate that. I have to tell you all that, Jared is the reason that my podcast is called. Want to want it. And I knew I was supposed to start a podcast. I was afraid. So when God speaks to Jared, he's like, yes. And when God speaks to me, I'm like, no, And so I knew I was supposed to do a podcast and I was so afraid to do it. Okay. I was talking to Jared and I said, I don't know what to call it. And he said, why don't you call it, want to want it? And I hated it. As soon as he said it, it felt so personal. It felt like. I don't know. I was like, no, I'm not doing that. And we were hiking along. Through this little forest, and by the time we'd been hiking for about 10 minutes, I was like, you know what? That is the name. That is what it is supposed to be called. So thank you, Jared. I'm so glad you finally got to come on to what to want it. And be my guest. Thank you, Jane, when, um, You know, so incredibly amazed at the hard work that you've done putting together a podcast. Um, you know, it's, it's been amazing to watch you do this and to create something that, uh, is very memorable and it's helped a lot of people. And I'm grateful for your example of, you know, doing the journey. See something come out that required work and effort, but was something that you were supposed to do. And I'm sure you can look back and say, you know, the journey wasn't quite as, as I envisioned it. There is lots of differences than I thought it would be. But the destination was where God intended me to be. Yeah. And I just think, uh, you know, that's, um, something that I see a lot in my life when I'm going for things that are. I think I'm supposed to be going for. And, um, Um, God has a plan and there's a journey for us. We'll be okay on that journey. As long as we just keep on trusting in God and persisting along our path. Yeah. I agree. I agree. But again, thanks for your example. And she has a wonderful wife. She is she's amazing. And editing that out at the end. And just please don't. And I love her deeply and, um, I'm really blessed to have her, and I'm really proud of what she's done here. And I know that it's helped a lot of people and it will continue to help people because lives in the internet land. It never goes away now. That's right. One day, I'm going to hear myself talking about something I never spoke about, but someone's compiled and. For AI has made some speech from me that. That's right. Just taken out all these clips from my podcast and created something. If I was important enough. Okay, here is such a thing that anyways, thanks so much, Jared. I hope you all have a fantastic week. I hope your summer is going amazing and is beautiful. Talk to you next week. Bye. Thanks for listening today. If you like what you hear on the podcast, and you'd like to learn more, feel free to head over to my website. Jamielynn Stephan coaching.com or find me on Instagram or Facebook at jamielynn Stephan coaching.