Hiatus, Homecomings, and Hard Boundaries

After a 90-day hiatus, we’re back — and life has been lifing!

In this episode, we catch you up on real life: Tamara shares what it’s been like having her oldest back home and navigating his next steps with Job Corp, plus a situation with her kids’ dad that tested her boundaries in real time. Bekah opens up about coming back to Texas for her birthday, trying to balance family time without overextending herself, and what it looks like to trust God while waiting for clarity on what’s next.

This episode is about adjusting when life shifts, standing firm in your boundaries, and giving yourself grace in seasons that don’t go as planned.

We’re talking it all out loud — like always.

Reminder:

Sometimes growth looks like stepping back.
Sometimes healing looks like saying no.
And sometimes obedience looks like waiting.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

What up, what up, what's up? Welcome back to Talk Out Loud. I hope you all missed us because we missed you. It's been a minute. When I looked at the stats, I guess it said like the last pod was recorded three months ago. I was like, ain't no way. Three months? Like we haven't done anything for three, because I know we've talked in three months. Yes. I don't know. That's why I can't push stuff off. It just three months goes by. Nothing. Then I keep telling people I have a podcast and they're like, What? Really? How many episodes have you done? I'm like, well, they've been recorded, you know, recently. Uh yeah. So we're trying video today, guys. Bear with us. Um, never done this. I don't know how it's gonna turn out. We clearly were not ready for this. No makeup. Lashes are non-existent. Hair got rained on. But here we are. Um I can't. So what are we drinking? Hot. It's not a hot shot, but it is still hot because the ice maker was not on in time. It is Anieho tequila, dragon fruit syrup, sugar free. It wasn't on purpose. Um, and lime juice. It's still good. The lime juice at least is cold, so I'm hoping that's gonna help the drink code. Not hot. What are you drinking? I always have my tried and true. My red what is this red blend of some situation. So we're gonna click click. Okay, what are we talking out loud about today? All right, so I figure we should catch everybody up on where the heck we've been the last 90 days. Christmas happened, my birthday happened. Work happened. Did we record something? We should have gone back and listened to what the last episode was about because I have no idea. Um I think it was like talking about Christmas. I feel like we did. I feel like we talked about holidays. Did we talk about that? I don't know, but we can now. What part of that would you like to share? Why don't I just say this? For those that don't live where they originated, that's fine. It is so hard to return home because you have limited time to like see everybody and do everything, and all and everybody wants a small piece of you because they don't see you every day, which there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But as someone who has lived outside of her home state for oh my god, it's been 13 years. Anywho, um, so speaking from someone who's left their home state and had to go back, um, it's super hard. Um, it's so funny. I was just talking about this. Like people like family and friends feel some type of way when you know you don't spend enough time with them when you come back, or they want to get a piece of you, and it's like, sorry, I don't have time. This is a quick trip, you know. And then I come home and then I feel like one guilty that I didn't spend time, enough time with the right people, enough people, whatever. And then I'm emotionally drained, and then it's like right back to work. So it's like, well, that wasn't really a vacation for me because I was just like running, running, running. And yeah, it's it's very stressful. So the point of the birthday uh trip was to really check on mom and dad. Um, and so I stayed with Tam because she lives closer to my parents and I wouldn't have to travel far. And there was, I got a vibe that some feelings were hurt that, you know, I didn't stay with mom and dad, or I didn't stay with my other sister, I didn't stay with my friends. Um, you know, I tried to, you know, see everybody as much as I could, but it's just so hard when you have a whole life, Tam, like a whole life, and then you leave it, and then when you like want to give them a little dabble here and there, and it's like that ain't no. Like, we want you to sit here on the couch and look at us for the next 10 days and then be like, okay, now we're good. It's like, yeah, I don't need that, but all in all, I thought that the trip was super powerful and impactful for me because this is like one of those growing times for me where I made a decision, I'm staying with Tamara. And I've never done that before, and so that was different. And then reading your book or reading your chapter, and the book was super. I don't know if I'm sure we've talked about the chapter that you've written, but it was so powerful, and again, just speaks to the resilience that you have as a human being to go through some of the things that you went through and reading it like in black and white, it was just it really touched me. So those were the good parts of the trip. Obviously, the food was good, seeing all my um my family, um, seeing my uh what what is he like? My grandnephew? Is that what that would be? Well, my nephew's son. I never seen, I don't know. I just know he's gonna be calling me T T because I'm gonna be somebody to auntie. I'm super excited about it. Um, so yeah, that was my, you know, and then work has been extra stupid. Um, I can't really go into ton of detail about it, but I am actively pursuing God for my next move. There you go. Tim, gonna take it away. Oh Lord, I feel like it'd be hard to like really comprehend unless you knew the backstory, which I don't know that that can be summed up in 30 minutes, but help me if you can. Um just start it off. So my oldest has not lived with me since he was 16. He walked out. His story will probably be different. He walked out. I locked the door when he charged at me. Let's just leave it there. Um, and he never came back. Nobody on his dad's side said, like, you should have done this, go apologize, do better. They just kept him over there and kept kicking him out every so every other month or so. So he'd be sleeping outside a lot. Um, he in those times he would never ask like to come back to stay at a weekend or whatever. It was like, well, you said I could never come back. I said a lot of things. You never listened to them. So it's just interesting you chose to cling on to that. Um, so at this particular time, he got kicked out and he was outside, like sleeping outside. Um, in front of the house, he lives with, well, he lived with my ex-husband's mother, which is where my ex-husband still lives seven years after our divorce. And his brother and his uncle. A lot of people in that house that are grown, it should be on their own. Okay. Um, but so he went over there. He's lived there for the last six years. Um, did not got in got Jesus, what's the word I'm looking for? Accepted into college, but didn't want to go. He said he was not motivated. I get it. That environment over there is not super motivating, um, which is why I've been trying to get him to get out or go to job corp or do this or do that. And of course, military is like, no, it's a no for him, straight up no, because you can't do what you want, and he's not a rule follower or an authority listener. So um for context, he has ADHD, um, also ODD, which is oppositional defiance order impression. Um, and he has admitted, oh, that's a beautiful cardinal. I'm sorry, the video's probably not gonna be great because we are undiagnosed here. And like I live by the lake and the birds get on the fence all the time. So mom's like, oh, a blue Jay. Oh, the cardinal, they're so cute, and it's just sitting there. Anyway, I don't know who's trying to talk to me right now. I don't anyway. Um what was I saying? He has ADD, he has ODD, yes, and he has admitted this time around that he is a narcissist, he recognizes that without me pushing it or saying anything because usually they will deny. So I was like, oh, okay, we're gonna do some coping skills for that. No, he admitted it, and that's where it stopped. But my point is, he was outside for six days. Um, I think he called you for some money or to get a room for the night. And I'm like, well, what's the plan after that, honey? Like, so you forced him to like communicate with me. Yeah. Um, so he ended up coming back here or asking me to come back here, and I was like, What's the plan? Like, he named all this stuff that really didn't make sense to me. Like, it's already we were on February break from school. For us down here, we're off like pretty much a week every every month.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Oh it dearly.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

I just didn't recall that growing up. We didn't I don't recall getting all of these days off. No president, no this, then that call break, please. Living stones would have laughed at us. No, we literally get like pretty much a week every month, except for like now, because it's star test, so there's no none of that. Um so he came, what was that like the second week in February? And he just left Easter weekend. Easter month, well, Easter Monday, I don't know if that's a thing. The Monday after Easter. So it has been. I feel like when I say it's been a journey, then it's like fun. This was not fun. This was not fun in any way. In the beginning, it was like, okay, I know where you are, you're safe, like we're gonna get you back on track. I thought we were like in positive land. And it quickly turned into like I need to claim my dominance over you, and just a lot of the same icky stuff that like his dad represented, which is complete chaos, manipulation, control, the disrespect. Wild. Really wild. And I still have two, you know, other children who I'm trying to raise to not be asked. So, and I say that often. Hey, I'm not raising this. So, I don't know. It's it was a challenge. I would try to tell him positive things. I reminded him like you don't have to be so defensive and everything. Everything doesn't require an answer or a response or a speech. You can say no, um, respectfully. You know, it's calm over here, it's peaceful over here. Um just there's just no need for all the chaos and argument. Like, it just wasn't. Look, I'll just give you an example. I would say, like, he would ask me about some food in the refrigerator, and I'd be like, Oh, it's old, you know, we need to throw that out. Well, I can hear him like throwing it in the trash, and I'm like, Are you throwing that in the trash? Like, put it down the garbage disposal. I was like, food goes down the garbage disposal, and he was like, Everybody doesn't have a garbage disposal. I do, I do have a garbage disposal. I don't need a three-page paper on when garbage disposals were invented, and everyone doesn't have one in their home, and it's fine in the trash can't. Like, please do it the F I said. That's it. But it's like all day, every day of that. So imagine, and my my good girlfriend was like, girl, you're going backwards. She was like, I am worried for your peace. And I was like, Me too. Um, so I would just like sit in the car, sit in the garage, which I have not had to do in years, like, not wanting to come inside my own home. I would text, he would like, I could hear him traveling down the stairs to come respond to me. That's a turnover for me. What are you doing? Why are you in my face? What it like? So he's just responding to the text, which really didn't require a response. It was it was probably like a yes or no. Like, hey, are you going back outside? Like, I don't I don't know. We just live very we live very different lives. Um so much time has passed. That's one. And two, not just like devil's advocate, but chaos is what he knows. He he knows he knows chaos, he doesn't know peace. So coming back, you know, my two cents. So him coming back into the home was like, well, I'm not familiar with peace because he hasn't known peace, honestly, for not judging, but for most of his life, he hasn't known peace. Then when he left you and went into that toxic situation, he didn't know peace. And so coming back to you after you've healed, or in the process of healing, however you want to put that, you've made progress. He didn't know. Well, I mean, I don't mean to speak for him, but I just don't think he knew what to do with that. Like in his mind, and I feel like we kind of grew up like this too. Like, our idea of a good family was the Cosby show. I don't know what his version of family or siblinghood looked like. And so he absolutely was to portraying this like he said, I need to be dominant, I need to be the protector, I need to be the savior, I need to fix everybody, I need to let them know that I'm the strong one that's going to protect them. And it's like, we don't need that here, sweetie. It is this is this environment is different than the environment that you just left. And that's hard to understand. Not giving him a slide here, just saying, I understand it can relate to he doesn't know what peace means. So when he came back for the time that he was there, I mean, I I tend to play mediator because I'm a middle kid. And so I would often get calls from him and he's like and I'm like, Well, you know, like he did the same when we lived with mom and dad. Like he would go back there and talk to them and vent, and and of course, mom is beating it up because she's nosy, love her. Um, but she nosy. Uh so she was like, Yeah, come talk to us. Um, but anytime I say something like spiritual or one, I don't know, he'd be like, Okay, Nana. And I'm like, is she the only one that can believe in God? Like, I don't understand. No, but she's one of the ones that will throw it at you for every reason. The devil, you know, I didn't get the parking space I wanted. That was the devil, you know. And I'm over here, maybe that's where I get it from because I'm over here like that was God. See, I wasn't supposed to park there and the complete opposite. Oh well, I'm gonna get a good, I'm gonna get a better one. But that's also a little bit of daddy's blind faith. Love him for that. I just told him side note. Um, Daddy used to so we had to do confessions every morning before we left for school. And um daddy would pray over us, and he used to pray um for you know that we would receive blessings and checks in the mail and da da la. I'm like, daddy, you can when I tell you every time I get a check in the mail, I'm like, that's daddy. That's daddy's prayer right there. Because I was just telling my best friend that I got a check in the mail like a couple of weeks ago for like 170 something bucks from some last act situation that I knew nothing about, but I surely did catch that check. And I was like, Okay, thank you, Daddy, because daddy prayed that we would get checks in the mail. It works, prayer works, anyways. Moving back, we were front of the prayer that he would say, um, guide, guard, govern, and protect. Oh my god, say that oh in every prayer. Like for when I pray for the kids and they get on the bus or whatever, or they're going with their friends or whatever. It was just guide, guard, and government but I love that. Good times, good daddy. Okay, sorry. So coming back into the home, you've moved past it, he's not quite there, so there's definitely some friction. And I honestly believe that there was some for for for sure triggering, and not in like an intentional way, just you guys being back together after all of the bad things that happened. It was just like I could see from the outside, okay, that he was doing things thinking like he's he's in the right, and it's like, well, I I get where you're coming from, because I do actually, I do see where you're coming from, and here I am trying to get you to see the other side of it. Like you see your side of it, but do you ever take the opportunity to see someone else's side? Like, how could your behavior? It's all about self-warness. Anyway, moving on. So you you I want to say, Tam, in like the first week or so that he was there, you were able to like check off like 25 things off the checklist. You were like on it. Like we already had we had the appointment to get a social security card because he lost that, which I said he would once I gave it to him. Um, he lost his birth certificate. Also said he would lose it if I gave it to him. So I but did that online because I wouldn't go anywhere else. If I don't have to do an appointment, I'll pay$21 in FedEx. Sure.$57 for the danger certificate. We had the appointment for the social, we did the application for job corp, uh took some grocery shopping. He had like no clothes. We went to get clothes, shoes, underwear, socks, like toothbrush. It was it was just it was a lot. So for you to talk to me the way that you do, and I'm still the only one providing for your entire life. It's a slap in the face to see the to say the least. Um but I don't know. It's like when he first left, he would call all the time. Well, after he didn't, you know, he didn't talk to me for three months when he left at 16. And then he was having experiences with his father because they were inadvertently in the same place, which is what he was trying to avoid. Um, and I think he was realizing he would call sometimes and he'd be like, Oh my god, you were abused. And I was like, I'm sorry, what? Like, what start from the beginning? Like, what are you talking about? What what just happened? And it's like he was remembering these it like experiences of his childhood of like when I was locked in the bathroom. And he was like, We were I just remember we were all laughing. He's like, but that wasn't he's like, but you couldn't get out, and I was like, no, that wasn't a that wasn't a fun time for me, honey. But like he didn't remember it that way then. He was a child, okay. Their whole perspective was completely different. Like, oh daddy's playing with my and like won't let her out. No, I literally couldn't like barricade it, couldn't get out the bathroom, and I don't even know for what, like, just stupid with the children there, wild. Um, but he would have a lot of just a lot of things, and it's like, ooh, okay, after so many, I'm like, I I don't really want to relive these things. I'm trying, I was like, maybe you should talk to someone, but he was just constantly like, Well, you're my therapist. No, I am not, I am your mother, and that's it. That's all I can be. It's so interesting, like, girl. I'm sorry, the ADD is definitely kicking in. This house is abandoned over here. This house has been abandoned for over a year, and I keep talking about how high the freaking grass is, and if the roaches and snakes, again, I live by the water, are gonna come to my house. Somebody must have finally told them she's finally over here mowing the lawn. Oh my god. At first, I was mad because I'm like, as soon as I start a podcast, you want to mow the lawn? And then I look and I'm like, oh yes, I got it. Thank you. I approve. Oh my god. I wish you could see how the highness grasses is absolutely insane. Like, where have you been, girl? Did you go out of the country for two years? Like, you bought the house, flipped it, or not flipped it because nobody bought it, but I mean renovated. There's still some paintwork you can do. Maybe I'll talk to her. Um it looks awful. And what's what's interesting is the house next to it is not abandoned, but it looks like a scary home. It looks like Monster House. It's got like the the um what's it like? Like the curtains are not curtains, but they're just like put over the window. I don't know what's going on over there, but people live there. And I'm just like, this to be a corner house, like let's be a little more presentable. Well, I'm surprised HOA hasn't sent like 45 different notices because you know, if where were they with this mailbox the wrong color? You're getting excited for some things. Girl, my mailbox has been um crooked for oh my god, a year and a half. Because I don't have a sh- I didn't have a shovel. First of all, somebody ran it over, and I feel it was the mail lady, but whatever. I liked her, but like who knocked over my mailbox? So I got a new mailbox, put it in the ground, but I didn't have a shovel or rocks or mud or whatever the hell you're supposed to do to put it where it goes all the way down and it sticks. So it's just been you know crooked for like a year and a half. And what's funny is I lived with another the last relationship. I just, I just the shim sham relationship, um, the scammer. And he did nothing, did not put the mailbox in there. And then I met, you know, I met that guy for two weeks and he had already fixed the mailbox. Of course, he's gone now, too. That'll be that's a whole other episode. Yeah, that's a future. Whole another episode. But yes, so he came back, he's gone. He's got a job corp now. Um three weeks, almost three weeks. Almost, and uh in three weeks they can come home. I mean, if he passed the drug test, I don't know what the results were, haven't talked to him. He tries and then he's immediately disrespectful, and then I'm like, when you're ready, because this ain't it. You're I can't. I can't a lot of unlearning has to happen. I don't know what his plan is. I just know that it is not a safe environment for him to go back to where he can't, not you, but like back to where his dad and that side of the family is. It's toxic, it is unhealthy, it is dangerous. I mean, again, some of the stories that he just told me, I'm like, what? Yeah, it's like Brilliant, don't tell me anymore because I I can't. He would keep saying that like it was a badge of honor. Like I should be like thinking of him as some grown man or like this man of valor or something because you saw someone die in front of you, or you've done things you weren't supposed to do. You slept on the street, like these are purple things for a mother to keep you. Yeah, like I don't I don't see that as strong when you could have been somewhere else, safe inside, with running water in your own room, in your own bed. Yeah. Do you think it's like fun for me to hear that you slept on the street and your dad and your grandmother and uncle are sitting there in their rooms, sleep, watching you sleep on the ground. Do you think that's fun for me to hear? Or the physical abuse that you endured from your supposed father? Girl. The fact that you had to be a parent as soon as you walked over there, your ch his childhood basically ended when he left you. Oh, for sure. He immediately was thrown into do this, do that. What can I get from you? You know, what kind of you know, government assistance can I get now that he's oh I I remember some of those horror stories, and I was just like, This is yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Like y'all don't pay for nothing else. Like nobody took him to the orthodontist when he had braces. Like I had to get off work, go all the way to you, take him all the way to the orthodontist and back home. What there's eight adults over here with vehicles. What what are y'all doing?

SPEAKER_00 25:40

Not a danger.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

Absolutely ridiculous. But yeah. Every time I talk, I'm like, okay, I need to put more stuff in them in my book that I was going to protect. Because I minimize the experiences that you've had. Someone just told me this, that's why I'm repeating it. You're minimizing the experiences that you've had because you've experienced them, and because we are taught to be strong, independent, black women, educated, we push it under the rug and keep it moving. But when you finally say that stuff out loud, I'm like, I'm sorry, what? What's the stigma like around survivors? Like, oh, you just feel like people are judging you because you said the word domestic abuse survivor. And it's like, oh, you weren't really abused. Well, why did you stay so long? Well, I just don't understand why you wouldn't leave. I want to stab him in the neck. Yes. Or, well, you weren't hit. I'm like, oh, physical and in my two cents, physical abuse is the last part. The beginning part is the psychological, the emotional, the vulnerable. Then we get to the well, now I'm just gonna put my hands on you. It started somewhere, and I'm one of the things. Thank you. They said because it was definitely there was even the physical violence, like it starts at little things and then it gets worse. You know, when I had the knife to me, that was before the he punched me. The gun was after that. It's like, what what are we what's the end goal of that? It doesn't really matter. Joking, like all of that, it started just from the way he used to talk to me. And I I never never put the two together. But yeah, I I refuse to take that from my own child and people that don't know the story, they're like, oh, you know, he's still your son. I'm fully aware, honey. But once he's me helping you a better result, because he doesn't, he doesn't he doesn't understand the niceness. Oh girl. And then the dad, oh god, her dad showed up at school. That was also something in this three months. I totally I just remembered that. See, so much happened in the we were away. I mean, let's talk about something out. We have done. So she wanted to go to Louisiana. Somebody died in her dad's side of the family. Um, the sister was very close to their grandmother. But the one who passed away, I don't I don't think that they really know that well. I'm just gonna be honest. I I mean, I I truly care for the sister that they do know and who's around a lot and all of that. So, I mean, I don't want to sound insensitive, but my children don't really know the one that passed away. And it was the only Tatum that's going. It's so weird because when things happen, even half the events or parties, like he only picks one kid to care about. There are all hands. People are like, is that like is he the dad of all of them? Yes, he's all of their fathers. He just picks which one he wants to to claim for the game in this moment, in this space, in this time today right now because the TV's going. And he's pretty much lost the other ones. Um, so you know, my daughter's there. And I mean, she's doing she's doing great, like holding her own. She's over it too, but it's more about her being with her cousins. So it's not really about her dad, but he thinks it is because that's what they want to believe as narcissists. Like, it's about me. She loves me, she's coming for me. It has nothing to do with you. So I guess he was saying he was going, which is odd because he hates funerals. I didn't even know. Like, is he is he going, girl? How are you getting there? I'm not dropping you off, and I'm not taking you. Mind you, the funeral's in Louisiana. We're in Texas. I don't know that anyone knows that. I'm in Texas. Um, so I'm just like, the week's going by, and I'm like, they're not, nobody's gonna, there's no way they're going to pick you up and drop you off because they feel like I owe them something and I have to accommodate something because he doesn't have a car camera. Not my freaking fault. He doesn't have a car on purpose, so he is not responsible for anything. Anyway, let me call him Jack. So the week just goes by, the t the day's getting closer. She is supposedly, she started out telling me that her grandmother's gonna get her. Sure, fine. She's not welcome in the house, but she can come to the house and pick you up. Okay. And then I'm like, who's taking you home? Well, she's gonna drop me off. No. And then it becomes, can you take me home? Or can you pick me up from there? And I was like, no, I already said I'm not doing anything. And then it was all of a sudden her dad's gonna, her dad's gonna do something. I already knew it was alive, but I'm gonna keep hope alive for you. Sure. Okay. Yeah, I believe you. Um, so I just didn't worry about it because I knew he wasn't gonna come. Um, this question, this Negro. This dude shows up at my job. I did not even know he knew where she went to school. I sworn he wasn't on the list because when we got divorced, I was, you know, how you fill out like the annual enrollment and you put the kids and like you have to put the other parent on there. I mean, you did exist. I thought I didn't think you were just gonna bail at the time. He I remember him calling me and being like, Why did why is why am I getting an email for this? Like, why did you put me on here? Like, because I wanted the divorce, I wasn't supposed to put him on school shit. And I'm like, it's not how that works. It says father, I'm gonna put father in there. So after that, I was I just could have sworn. Well, let's say the back. I do put him on there just in case you know a miracle happens and he wants to like be a dad and he can pick them up or something. So I do put him on there, but like he's number five. Like my friends are before him because they'll actually pick up. I should be before him. I can come from California and pick her up before I figured he would. Just saying. That's so sad. It's so terrible. Um, but yes, really, he's like the last one. So when he I just happened to be on a FaceTime with someone, and I was like, shut the F up. Is that her dad? Is that her dad? I'm just like in my office looking out the window, like slowly, panic attack is coming on. Because I'm like, how the hell do you know where she is? Right. And they she happened to be at lunch, so I was like, what is happening? So I run to the principal secretary and I'm like, Taden's dad is here. I was like, her dad is here. Um, he's not on the list, like he she can't leave with him. Because I guess I don't know what happened with the plans. I really don't. She said she couldn't go, and I was like, that makes sense. As soon as we tell him no, he shows up. But when we say yes, and then we try to be like, you need to coordinate the effort, you need to pick her up and bring her back. It's like, oh, I'm just gonna do what I want. Right, girl. Um, so they're like, he is on the list. Like, what do we do? What do we say? They're like trying to be secretive. And I was like, what? I was like, okay. So they're like, how can we help you, sir? And then you hear him from my office. I love that they protected you though. They were so scared for me, and I was like, It's it's fine. I was like, it's fine. I came out calm, but in my office, I was having a breakdown. Girl. And my the principal secretary was like, I'm so scared for you. Like, what's she was like, why is he here? I was like, I don't know. So I was like, She's at lunch. She was like, Do you want me to go get her and bring her around back? I said, please. So she went and got my daughter from the lunch, and I told her, like, your dad's here, like, why is he here? She's like, I don't know. She's like, he's here right now. I was like, didn't you tell me? She was like, I was like, didn't you tell her? Can't show up for anything else. She's like, I told him, she's like, I told him I I wasn't gonna go. This is Thursday, mind you. They were supposed to leave on Friday. So why are you here on a Thursday? In the at 11 a.m. or 12 a.m. because it was lunch at noon on a Thursday. So I was just like, Yes, he's here. She's like, Well, can I go say hi? Say yes, but leave your backpack. I was like, You're not leaving with them. So, because she'll, you know, she'll freeze up. Kitty Patut, she'll freeze up. Yes, she always said that when we argued, though, like we'd have to pick her up and move her out the way. So I was like, leave the backpack. So somebody calls me back and they're like, uh, oh no, she texted me when she got out there and she was like, he wants to talk to you. Of course he does. Because why else would you just show up here?

unknown 34:22

Right.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

I go out there as soon as I go out there. It's ridiculous. As soon as I go out there, oh, you look nice. Thank you. Why are you here? Like what didn't I was like, did she not tell you no? Like she couldn't go. Well, I just don't. It's like you don't hear what I'm saying, you don't hear the no. It's well, I can I can do this and I can do that. I was like, I'm not picking her up, I'm not taking her there, I'm not meeting you anywhere. He's like, I know, I know. So you said that the last time you showed up randomly when we said no, and then you didn't bring her home and she missed the day of school. And then daddy had to say a prayer and go take me over there to pick her up. And then when you saw it was him, you backed off. So no. I was like, I'm not. And he's like, I was like, she's not even packed. Like, like, what are you doing? He's like, well, like she was like, I don't want to leave today. She's telling him, she's like, I don't want to leave today. She's like, I thought it was tomorrow. Like, she's like, I don't want to miss today and tomorrow. And he's like, Well, it's after 10 o'clock, aren't you like counted present? And we had already missed, we had already missed Monday that week. And he was like, What did you miss Monday for? And I was just like, That's not important. We got a mental health day. And I was just like, She's already missed a day this week. Like, she doesn't want to miss. She's telling you she doesn't want to go or come back tomorrow and pick her out. And he's like, Well, we're leaving really early. She was like, What time? He said, like 11. She's like, I can be ready, Dad. It's not early. She's like, I can be ready. No, he didn't want to do that. He's like, Well, I can go to Walmart and wait for you. Because she's like, Can you just come back after school? He was like, Well, I can take you home to get clothes. I said, To whose home? I said, You will not be at my house when I'm not there. I was like, You shouldn't even have my address. And he was like, Oh, I have the address. I said, Well, you shouldn't. I said there would be no sitting outside of my house. He's like, I don't do that anymore. Or he's like, I don't do that. I was like, anymore. He was like, Well, that was in the beginning. Jesus. Um, she said no. She didn't go. He ends up coming back anyway at like 3:30. No, there's no checkout at this time. School's out at four. He comes back, sits in there. They tell him, like, sir, there's no checkout at this time. You have to wait in the parking lot. Why are you back? She literally said no. So school's out. I told her to come to me, like, your dad's back. Why is he back? I was like, I don't know, girl. I was like, you still have no clothes, and he's not coming to my house. Um, so she texts him and says, like, I'm I want to ride with one of her cousins, and he goes the F off. I sent you the text messages. I don't, I don't know if we want to just expose that on here. But he was basically saying, F not basically he said F her. He said, F y'all, I'm done with you. Like, I'm done with the other child of mine. And I'm just like, I'm sorry, you said what now? She just like the text messages. She's like, could you not talk to me that way? Like, I'm still gonna go. She's like, I'm your daughter. He's like, No, a daughter would be excited to go with her dad. What dad? You have not been around her entire life, huh? She's just supposed to all of a sudden like have a certain air about you, and you don't even show up. That's so wild to me. Yeah, beyond it. We're passing our time anyway.

unknown 37:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Part two, part two. Oh my god, yes.