Ep 063 Money Talks- Are You Ghosting Abundance?

Dive deep into your relationship with money and discover how you might be unconsciously blocking abundance. This episode explores the intimate connection we all have with money and how treating it like a romantic relationship can transform your financial reality. 

Key Points Covered: 

• Your Money Relationship Status: Understanding that we're all in an intimate relationship with money - and most of us are making it toxic AF. From treating money like an untrusting ex to playing hard to get, we explore the different ways people sabotage their financial connections. 
• The Money Date Ritual: A powerful monthly practice involving journaling, candlelight, and genuine connection with your finances. Learn how to create an intimate space to build trust and understanding with your money. 
• Wealth Frequency Reset: How to identify and challenge scarcity thoughts, distinguishing between your authentic money story and inherited limiting beliefs from family or society. 
• Energetic Wealth Boundaries: Setting clear boundaries in financial situations, from splitting bills fairly to standing firm on your pricing as a business owner. 

Transcript

Money Talks- Are You Ghosting Abundance? 

 
0:01 
Hello, hello You Beautiful, beautiful human. 

 
0:05 
Welcome to another episode of your Align. 

 
0:08 
That's **** life with Shalvika. 

 
0:11 
And I'm Shalvika, your host. 

 
0:12 
And today we are talking about a topic that I love coaching my people on. 

 
0:20 
It's something that keeps coming up and I'm sure if you're listening, it has come up for you as well. 

 
0:27 
So I'm calling this episode Money Talks. 

 
0:30 
Are you ghosting abundance? 

 
0:32 
And one of the things that I like to work with people on is money as, as as a life coach, as a manifestation coach. 

 
0:42 
Money is something that a lot of people come to me with and, and they want to change their money game. 

 
0:48 
They want to change their wealth game. 

 
0:49 
They, they want to create a wealthy mindset and abundance mindset, right. 

 
0:55 
And last year I had this insight where I realized that all of us, whether we like to admit it or not, are in a relationship with money. 

 
1:11 
And if possible, it is one of the most intimate relationships that we have been in, right? 

 
1:20 
Like let let that sink in for a second. 

 
1:23 
Like you are in a relationship with money, you are dating money. 

 
1:31 
Money is your partner, right? 

 
1:34 
And now let's kind of play with this idea a little bit, right? 

 
1:38 
If money was your romantic partner, what kind of a relationship would you be in? 

 
1:47 
And if I know anything about money, because again, I've, I've coached a lot of people on money, I've worked on my money mindset, I've worked on changing my relationship with abundance, I can tell you that most of us are in a toxic as **** relationship with it, right? 

 
2:06 
I'm serious. 

 
2:06 
I mean, think about it. 

 
2:08 
So some of you are treating money like an ex that you can't trust. 

 
2:12 
So every time it shows up for you, you clutch it so tightly that it can barely breathe. 

 
2:19 
You're operating from this deep rooted fear that it's going to ghost you, it's going to leave you, it's going to walk out and you. 

 
2:25 
So you micromanage every single move that you make and it makes. 

 
2:30 
And guess what? 

 
2:31 
The energy of this distrust, that's exactly what pushes abundance away others. 

 
2:37 
You're playing hard to get with money. 

 
2:39 
You say you want it, but your actions don't really say that. 

 
2:44 
Again, think about it as a relationship that you're having with another human being. 

 
2:50 
It's like your your actions are screaming I'm not worthy of you. 

 
2:53 
It's like having a crush but never making eye contact, right? 

 
2:57 
Money is trying to flow into your life and you're basically leaving it on red and you're not responding to it at all. 

 
3:05 
Right, so here's where where you know I'm gonna get a little personal. 

 
3:10 
Last year I had this massive money. 

 
3:14 
Massive awakening. 

 
3:16 
Sorry about my own relationship with money. 

 
3:18 
I realized that I was treating money like a casual hookup, only thinking about it when I needed something. 

 
3:27 
Never nurturing the relationship, never taking the time, the space, the love that you need to pour into any relationship so that it can be a long lasting 1, right? 

 
3:38 
Never showing up consistently, right? 

 
3:42 
That's like, holy **** that was such a wake up call. 

 
3:45 
I cannot even tell you. 

 
3:46 
Because think about it, if if you are in a relationship with someone and you're doing all of these things, what are they gonna think about you? 

 
3:55 
How are they going to perceive you? 

 
3:58 
How do you still expect, how do we still expect that they show up for us when we are treating them so shittily, right? 

 
4:06 
So if you want, you can pause here and I want you to just go and like think about this for a moment. 

 
4:11 
If money was your partner, was your romantic partner, how are you really, really treating it? 

 
4:19 
How are you treating them right? 

 
4:21 
So let's do a quick white check. 

 
4:23 
I have I have some few questions written down here just to see what kind of wives you create around money S. 

 
4:31 
Do you check your bank account with the same anxiety as stalking and this is Instagram? 

 
4:38 
When money shows up, do you instantly push it away by spending it on things that you probably don't need right now, like you're you're sabotaging a good thing because it feels too vulnerable to stick with it? 

 
4:51 
Are you ghosting your money by ignoring your finances, hoping things will magically workout? 

 
4:58 
And this is one of the most shocking ones, I'll tell you. 

 
5:00 
Because when I talk to people, most people don't know exactly even how much they have. 

 
5:10 
What is their net worth? 

 
5:12 
People have no intimacy with their money, right? 

 
5:17 
We are just so ignorant towards our current money situation, but we still constantly want more, right? 

 
5:26 
Let's do a few more wipe check questions. 

 
5:28 
Like when you walk past a luxury store, do you unconsciously cross the street? 

 
5:34 
Now, let me let me share a personal anecdote here. 

 
5:37 
For the longest time, if I knew that a brand was an expensive brand, I would never enter it because I would be really worried that the salesperson is going to walk up to me. 

 
5:51 
And then I'm going to, I'm going to have to just be like, Oh, no, I don't want it Now I just go and I browse and I don't have to necessarily buy. 

 
5:59 
But that's the thing, right? 

 
6:01 
It shows the why, the energy that you're putting out in this relationship that you are in with money. 

 
6:07 
Do you apologize for your prices? 

 
6:09 
If you're a business owner, do you apologize for your prices? 

 
6:12 
Like you're asking for forgiveness. 

 
6:15 
You're asking forgiveness for even existing, right? 

 
6:19 
When someone picks up the cheque at dinner, does your stomach twist with unworthiness? 

 
6:24 
Are you like constantly vigilant? 

 
6:26 
Like they can't pay for me, I can pay for myself. 

 
6:28 
That also is a kind of toxicity in a relationship. 

 
6:33 
And you feel that you don't need anyone, that I can take care of myself. 

 
6:36 
I am hyper independent. 

 
6:38 
I'm this ****** woman who can do everything, which, you know, technically none of us can. 

 
6:44 
And I want to record an episode on hyper independence maybe in a few weeks. 

 
6:51 
But do you do that? 

 
6:54 
You know, do you, do you not let someone else pay for you? 

 
6:57 
Because that's abundance that's blocking you. 

 
6:59 
So here is money sitting across the table extending this gift. 

 
7:05 
I don't know. 

 
7:06 
All I can think of is rings of being obsessed with rings. 

 
7:08 
If you're watching this video on YouTube, you know, I'm wearing like these rings. 

 
7:11 
But say, money is gifting you a ring, right? 

 
7:14 
And you're like, Oh no, I don't want it because I can buy it for myself, right? 

 
7:18 
That's what you, that's the vibe that you're setting out when you don't let anyone else be for you. 

 
7:24 
There's nothing wrong with that, right? 

 
7:27 
So what do we really, really do? 

 
7:31 
Because becoming energetically rich isn't just about attraction. 

 
7:38 
It's about alignment. 

 
7:40 
It's about becoming so ****** withable in your wealth consciousness that abundance just can't help but chase you down the road. 

 
7:50 
Right here is what changed everything for me. 

 
7:54 
Instead of visualizing wealth, I started embodying my future wealthy self energy. 

 
8:01 
Now, when I say that, you know, a lot of times it's misconstrued as oh, so you're going to go and you're going to spend a **** ton of money on things that you don't need. 

 
8:10 
You're going to go buy a design A handbag and you're going to go and buy every dress that you love and you're going to go and buy those really expensive leather boots. 

 
8:19 
There's nothing wrong with doing any of these, right? 

 
8:21 
But what I actually mean by that is I started started asking myself questions that mattered. 

 
8:29 
How would that version of me, that is, that has accepted her abundance, treat money right? 

 
8:38 
What boundaries would she set? 

 
8:41 
What conversations would she have with her own money? 

 
8:45 
Again, think about it as a romantic relationship, as a romantic partnership, right? 

 
8:50 
You want to have healthy boundaries with your partner. 

 
8:52 
You want to be able to have tough conversations with your partner. 

 
8:56 
You want to be able to express your love towards your partner and also be willing to accept the way they express their love towards you, right? 

 
9:06 
All of these things are important. 

 
9:08 
So what would that translate to when it comes to your relationship issue with money, right? 

 
9:13 
So of course, as always, I'm going to talk about how you can bring this into your life by breaking this down into some actionable steps. 

 
9:22 
These are some of the things that I have been embodying for more than a year now, and I literally cannot wait to share it with you. 

 
9:29 
OK, so the first one, and this is going to sound very weird and it I know because I received that reaction whenever I share this with my clients as well, but I actually have a money date ritual. 

 
9:44 
So at the beginning of every month, I have a quote UN quote date with my money. 

 
9:53 
I have a separate journal. 

 
9:55 
If if you've been around and if you know me, you know I'm massively into journaling. 

 
9:58 
So I have a separate journal that I use for this specific date. 

 
10:03 
I I actually start with writing down a letter to money, right? 

 
10:09 
Sometimes this letter is like a love letter. 

 
10:11 
Again, think about it as a relationship, as a romantic partnership that you are in. 

 
10:16 
Sometimes it is as if I'm writing a lover. 

 
10:19 
Sometimes it's about me expressing gratitude towards their existence. 

 
10:23 
Sometimes it's it's about me apologizing for not acknowledging all the love that money has poured on me. 

 
10:35 
And I want to spend some time here because I feel it's really, really important. 

 
10:40 
I did not grow up with a lot of money, right? 

 
10:43 
Like, there were times when I was broke in college and I couldn't buy certain things because I never had money. 

 
10:50 
You know, money was always a struggle for me growing up in my family and but however, I am a well educated woman, right? 

 
11:02 
I did not have student loans because for whatever reasons, again, money showed up in my life, in my parents life, to be honest, in, in a way that they could transfer it to me when the time came for me to go to college, right? 

 
11:15 
I was able to have clothes, I was able to learn dance and I was able to become an engineer and I was able to do so many things like today, you know, I'm learning how to sing, I'm learning Indian classical vocals. 

 
11:30 
All of this in my life has been enabled by enabled by money, by the presence of money. 

 
11:37 
Still, for the longest time, my relationship with money was so ****** ** that I constantly kept saying that you haven't been there for me. 

 
11:45 
Imagine how would a person feel if they were. 

 
11:48 
They have been for you for decades in your life and your narrative still is. 

 
11:54 
You're not there for me. 

 
11:55 
You don't show up for me. 

 
11:57 
You're not enough when it comes to me. 

 
12:00 
You don't meet all my needs, right? 

 
12:03 
So sometimes that letter is apologetic about me apologizing, by the way, I have treated money so far, right? 

 
12:12 
And then what I do is I actually sit with my money. 

 
12:17 
I look at my bank account, I look at all my investment accounts. 

 
12:20 
I look at all my savings accounts. 

 
12:22 
I look at even contracted income, right? 

 
12:25 
Like income, which I know is gonna come to me, but it hasn't come to me. 

 
12:30 
I actually write that down. 

 
12:32 
I look at some of my assets, right? 

 
12:35 
And I actually sit down and write the number that is associated with each of these factors and I note it down and I write my total net worth, right? 

 
12:47 
I, I have a candle. 

 
12:49 
I actually might have if you're watching this on the video, I actually have this candle that I light and I create this atmosphere. 

 
12:58 
I I I put up some nice music and I actually go on a date with money. 

 
13:02 
Trust me when I say it may seem a little weird right now, but try it. 

 
13:08 
If you try it, you will know what I mean when I say that we have a ****** ** relationship with money. 

 
13:14 
And honestly, it's not just because you know of you having seen your parents fight about money or you being broke in during college or whatever your narrative is. 

 
13:30 
There are a lot of generational patterns that we have inherited. 

 
13:33 
There are a lot of ancestral traumas that come from the money stories, abundant stories or lack thereof, that have been passed down to us for generations altogether, right. 

 
13:46 
So all of that really plays a role in our relationship with money. 

 
13:51 
OK, so that is the first actionable step that I wanted to share is the money date ritual. 

 
13:58 
And this is my favorite. 

 
14:00 
The second is the wealth frequency reset. 

 
14:05 
Now, I, it sounds like a really fancy *** term, but what I actually mean by that is every time you have a thought of lack a thought thought of scarcity that props up in your head, I want you to actually ask yourself, is this really my thought or is this really my reality? 

 
14:23 
Right? 

 
14:23 
Like one of the things that I still struggle with actually sometimes is even though now my parents are in a place that, you know, they're financially really, really strong, my mom still lack actually both of them. 

 
14:38 
My parents operate from a massive scarcity outlook, right? 

 
14:44 
And that is not our reality today. 

 
14:46 
That's not our story today. 

 
14:48 
So, but but it does play out in my mind also at times because of course, I'm, I'm, I have learned everything that I have as a young kid from them, right? 

 
14:58 
So ask yourself, is this my authentic money story? 

 
15:01 
Is this my authentic money reality? 

 
15:05 
Or am I getting an offloaded version of scarcity from someone in my family or someone in my close circle? 

 
15:12 
Someone who's maybe even your partner, right? 

 
15:14 
Just just discern which is your story and which is not. 

 
15:20 
And the 3rd, and I think this is also a very, very important steps, is the energetic wealth boundary. 

 
15:29 
Now what do I mean by that? 

 
15:31 
It means saying no to energy draining financial situations. 

 
15:37 
For example, you have a friend, you love meeting them, you love spending time with them, but every time you go out, they they drink like 4 cocktails, whereas you you drink just one. 

 
15:46 
And every time they want to split the bill 5050 say no, right? 

 
15:52 
You have friends who maybe are at a higher financial situation than you are and they want to go to these fancy *** dinners And every time you feel torn, like think about that episode of friends. 

 
16:03 
You know where everyone wants to go for fancy dinner and Rachel and Joey and Phoebe are ******** about it, right? 

 
16:11 
So imagine if you're in that kind of a situation, just say no. 

 
16:14 
Draw an energetic boundary when it comes to your wealth, because that, that's really, really, really important. 

 
16:22 
If you, if you have any clients that keep haggling with your cast, let them go. 

 
16:27 
You don't need those kind of clients, right? 

 
16:30 
Your pricing is your pricing and it's your pricing for a reason and it feels in alignment with you. 

 
16:36 
And that's the only justification you need for having whatever prices you have. 

 
16:43 
So just say thank you, no, please, and walk away, right? 

 
16:49 
So here is your homework. 

 
16:53 
Just a few things to make you aware of you know where your energetic dreams are when it comes to your money is for the next seven days. 

 
17:02 
What I want you to do is I want you to track your money energy the way you track your macros, right? 

 
17:08 
Notice when does your wealth frequency dip? 

 
17:12 
Is it in the presence of someone? 

 
17:13 
Is it when you go and look at certain things? 

 
17:16 
Is it when you are spending time with a family member? 

 
17:20 
Just just notice when you when your wealth frequency kind of takes a dip, right? 

 
17:26 
Second, what triggers your abundance blocks? 

 
17:30 
What are the things like? 

 
17:32 
Like for me, sometimes it's conversations with my mother because like I said, you know, she still comes from that lens of she still operates from that lens. 

 
17:41 
When you know, they they struggled and they were, they were, they were living month on month and month end was a massive tug of war on how we're going to take care of everything, right. 

 
17:53 
So what triggers your abundance blocks? 

 
17:56 
And 3rd is are you still playing small with your money, right? 

 
17:59 
Just just toy with these questions. 

 
18:02 
And of course, I want you to spend some time also thinking about your relationship with money. 

 
18:06 
How are you treating them? 

 
18:08 
This is an asset and energy, a frequency that has been there for you. 

 
18:13 
If you're here listening to this podcast, you have grown up with a certain level of privilege for sure. 

 
18:19 
Like, and if you didn't grow up with it, you at least have it right now, right? 

 
18:25 
So then ask yourself, how am I treating them even though they have been there for me? 

 
18:28 
What kind of a treatment am I giving them? 

 
18:31 
Am I ignoring them? 

 
18:32 
Am I ghosting them? 

 
18:33 
Am I in a toxic relationship with them? 

 
18:36 
And how does that relationship play out? 

 
18:39 
Write it all down. 

 
18:40 
Get intimate with your patterns because awareness is where real manifestation really, really starts, right? 

 
18:50 
And here is an advanced level challenge. 

 
18:53 
If you feel up for it, start living as if you're already wealthy. 

 
18:59 
And I don't mean it in a fake it till you make it kind of a way, but in an energetic embodiment that says wealth is my natural state, right? 

 
19:10 
Because remember, money at the end of the day is just energy, right? 

 
19:14 
Like we all are. 

 
19:15 
Money is energy. 

 
19:17 
The aim of money, the purpose of money is to flow, right? 

 
19:22 
So it's OK if you spend on things because because that's, that's the neat, that's the true nature of money is to flow. 

 
19:28 
And your job isn't to chase it. 

 
19:32 
Your job isn't to grip it, to clutch it. 

 
19:35 
Your job is not to fear it. 

 
19:38 
Your only job is to become a Clear Channel for abundance so that wealth becomes your natural state of being. 

 
19:44 
And I also want to add here because I know a lot of us struggle with it. 

 
19:48 
Just because you want money does not make you bad. 

 
19:50 
Just because you want money does not make you greedy. 

 
19:52 
Because again, it's energy, right? 

 
19:55 
If I want to soak up the sun, am I greedy if I soak, go outside and stand in the sun and soak up the sun's energy for like 15 minutes? 

 
20:06 
Does that mean that there's going to be less sun's energy for everyone else on this planet to soak up on? 

 
20:12 
Of course not. 

 
20:13 
It's the same with money. 

 
20:15 
Just because you want more, there is no limited pie in the sky. 

 
20:19 
It's an abundant universe. 

 
20:22 
So that does not make you greedy. 

 
20:24 
Just because you want more does not mean someone else is going to have less. 

 
20:27 
And I think I will. 

 
20:28 
I, I think now that I'm talking about this, I think I'm going to record another podcast episode on the, the beliefs that hold you back when it comes to money. 

 
20:38 
But I just wanted to share some of these rituals and toy with this idea that what would it look like if you were in a romantic relationship with your money? 

 
20:48 
How are you treating them? 

 
20:49 
How are they treating you and see the magic unfold. 

 
20:54 
And if you do try the money date ritual, I would love it if you could reach out to me on Instagram. 

 
21:00 
Reach out to me, my website and let me know how that goes for you. 

 
21:06 
And on that note, I also want to extend an invitation to the ultimate manifestation community. 

 
21:11 
This is my manifestation community, which is a group of wonderful human beings who are all here to manifest the life of their dreams. 

 
21:19 
And this month, February, is a month of quantum leaping inside this. 

 
21:23 
So we are talking about all things quantum leaping, how we can compress timelines and get from where we are to where we want to go in lesser time with lesser resources. 

 
21:33 
Just switch states so that you can get to where you want to go. 

 
21:36 
I will add a link to sign up in the show notes and in the description on YouTube. 

 
21:42 
Please share this episode if this resonated with you. 

 
21:45 
Share with your friends, share with your partner, share with your family members, with anyone you feel might benefit from listening about this perspective on money. 

 
21:55 
And I cannot wait to see you soon. 

 
21:58 
Until next time, Ciao.