Ep 064 Stepping Into Sufficiency to Attract Abundance with Robin Foley

Ready to build a life that's unf*ckwithable? In this eye-opening episode, I chat with the amazing Robin Foley about how to step into sufficiency to attract abundance in your life.

🔥 What You'll Learn:

• How to identify when you're operating from scarcity versus sufficiency
• Why desperation energy repels the very things you want to attract
• The physical signs of being in "graspy, grabby" energy (hint: anxiety, constriction)
• Practical ways to shift into sufficiency mindset TODAY
• How to "sell yourself" on what you already have

Robin shares powerful insights about recognizing when you're coming from a place of lack and how to transform that energy into magnetic confidence. We explore the importance of believing in possibilities even when there's no evidence they'll happen (and plenty of evidence they won't).

Book Recommendations:

• "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl
• Movie recommendation: "Life is Beautiful" - a powerful example of believing so hard in a particular outcome that it manifests, even in the most challenging circumstances

If you're ready to stop the desperate chase and start attracting abundance through genuine confidence and sufficiency, this episode is your permission slip to transform your energy and your life.

Connect with Shalvika here

Join the Ultimate Manifestation Community with Shalvika here 

Connect with Robin here

Transcript

 Hi and welcome to another episode of your Alinda spot life with Shalvika.

 0:08
 And I am so excited to have our lovely guest Robin here.

 0:13
 Hi, Robin.

 0:15
 Hello, welcome to the podcast.

 0:17
 I'm so excited to have you here.

 0:20
 Thank you.

 0:21
 I'm really excited to be here.

 0:22
 And I've really been enjoying how we interact online and the stuff that you've been putting out.

 0:28
 So I'm super excited to be here and talk about this today.

 0:32
 Yeah, so we are before I forget, we are actually going to talk about stepping into sufficiency to attract.

 0:40
 And Oh my God, I cannot tell you, Robin, how excited I am to dive into this with you because I think I think that's so bloody important when you are wanting to attract abundance and wanting to build a life that's on your own turns right, Right.

 1:01
 It is absolutely foundational.

 1:05
 Exactly.

 1:06
 OK, so before, before we start chatting, why don't you just tell us a little bit about you, your journey, what got you your tell us about your beautiful life so far.

 1:16
 Well, OK, so I am a photographer, lifelong photographer, and I've been doing a portrait business for women specifically for the last 11 years.

 1:29
 And yes, one of the things that I discovered right off the bat was that women weren't being photographed.

 1:37
 And I wanted to make it my mission for women to be in an honored space on the walls of their own homes, in their photo albums.

 1:47
 So this LED this whole exploration and delving into why women aren't being photographed.

 1:54
 And it's about not feeling worthy and not feeling like they are enough.

 2:00
 So that is what sort of organically LED into becoming a life coach.

 2:07
 Oh, wow.

 2:08
 And LED into becoming a life coach, coaching about enoughness, about how do you create enoughness in yourself, but also money.

 2:17
 Yeah.

 2:17
 So I coach women on money.

 2:20
 And then further down the line, we get into, like, reinventing your life.

 2:24
 So it all stems from this thing that I think all of us suffer from, not just women, but everyone on the planet suffers from this, this underlying foundational piece, which is not enough.

 2:35
 I'm not worthy.

 2:37
 And how do you create life that you want when you feel that way deep down?

 2:45
 So that's sort of that's my little journey in a nutshell and how I got where I am right now.

 2:51
 Oh, wow, that is so beautiful.

 2:54
 I mean, so when I went full time with my even before I went full time, my business, like my then coach actually made me book a photographer and do like a shoot.

 3:07
 Really.

 3:07
 Yeah.

 3:08
 Because.

 3:09
 And I was like, no, I'm not gonna do that.

 3:11
 I'm gonna do it when I lose weight and I'm gonna do it when, you know, whatever, like and she's like, no, you, you're gonna book a photographer like right now and you're gonna do it.

 3:21
 And honestly, it was one of the most, it was a really liberating experience because I did not think that I could be that person right like that I saw in the pictures.

 3:35
 And I think that's, that's, that's so, so beautiful.

 3:39
 Like what you do.

 3:40
 I'm really, really amazed at how your like, journey came along.

 3:46
 That's amazing.

 3:47
 I love your coach.

 3:48
 I love that she made you do that.

 3:50
 Because one of the things as a photographer is, I mean, I struggle with this.

 3:56
 Women don't want to be photographed now.

 3:58
 They always have 100 excuses.

 3:59
 But the first one is I want to lose weight, which you don't need to a, because as a human you do not need to lose weight.

 4:06
 It's not a moral issue.

 4:08
 But also as a photographer, I know how to photograph anybody to make them look amazing.

 4:14
 It's just art of the skill.

 4:16
 Yeah, but what happens in front of the camera?

 4:19
 It sounds like you experienced.

 4:21
 Is you step into this forgotten or maybe unknown place that you have in yourself where you feel yourself, you're, you understand your attraction, your attractiveness to the world, and you start to sort of like flirt with the whole world.

 4:37
 When it happens in front of the camera, it's like my favorite secret moment.

 4:42
 Oh, yeah, I see, I see.

 4:44
 Like there's a veil of protection, of vulnerability in front of people's eyes.

 4:49
 And then I see it when it drops and I'm like, yes, yeah.

 4:53
 And then like, I remember like there were a couple of pictures that I'm like, Oh my God, like that.

 4:59
 And it's just my face, OK.

 5:02
 And like, I look sexy, like, you know, like that.

 5:06
 And I never thought that that happens.

 5:07
 And I think, I think again, like bringing it to like what we really wanna kind of talk about.

 5:16
 I think that is so important because, and I know before we started recording, I was just sharing like, why I'm, I'm doing this?

 5:23
 It's like there's not, I feel there's not enough role models for people who want to like, you know, take a path that's not your checklist life.

 5:31
 But also for me growing up, I did not see a lot of like pictures of women on social media who looked like me, right?

 5:43
 Like the the, the such dearth of representation.

 5:48
 And now it's changing.

 5:49
 Like I know now it's like really changing, but that that issue of I am not enough actually stems from like for me, at least it did back then from this fact that I hadn't seen others do that, others who looked like me, others who had my kind of a body.

 6:10
 Yes, yes, I agree.

 6:12
 And I'm a bit older than you, so imagine that when I was coming up, it was even more like all of the women on magazine covers were traditionally white.

 6:26
 They had very similar features.

 6:28
 Even the one black supermodel, which I think her name was Beverly Johnson.

 6:32
 She she had mostly white features and just dark skin.

 6:37
 They did her hair in like a, you know, traditional silky hairstyle.

 6:44
 Yeah.

 6:44
 Yeah.

 6:46
 So yes, I love this, this exploration into self concept.

 6:52
 Yeah.

 6:52
 Oh, my God.

 6:53
 Yeah.

 6:54
 Absolutely.

 6:55
 So tell me a little bit about how like, what is your favorite thing about helping people bring sufficiency and enoughness into their lands?

 7:12
 So there is.

 7:13
 So I work with clients currently in coaching who are entrepreneurs, freelancers.

 7:20
 So they're very talented, very skilled women.

 7:25
 And the things that they struggle with with money is like creating enough money in their business and in their life, whether it's because they are underselling themselves or they haven't created enough clients, they can't attract the clients they want.

 7:40
 So they're taking work that's beneath them or they have crippling debt or some other sort of like technical aspect of money.

 7:46
 But it's the, it's really like the, the self-sufficiency part that is so interesting to me because I've shifted it for myself.

 7:55
 And the best way that I can like delve into this is, is trying to describe what happens when you don't have it, when you don't have the sufficiency, when you're not in your sufficiency, when you're thinking I'm not worthy.

 8:10
 Like underneath all of it, you can bolster yourself with ego all you want, but underline that you have thoughts of I'm not worthy and I don't deserve and I don't deserve this.

 8:21
 It becomes the energy of needy, needy shows up with clients or in marketing with it's, it's a repellent energy.

 8:33
 Your, your ideal clients are going to run for the hills when they feel your neediness for them.

 8:39
 And so you have to fill your own need on a regular daily basis before you can reach out to people or before you can like even, I don't know, I can put the energy out there of, of marketing in One Direction and, and clients and money will come from a different direction that I'm not even facing.

 8:57
 So I think it's sort of like your energy points out in all directions and then you attract from directions that you can't even imagine.

 9:06
 So you asked me what my favorite thing about this is.

 9:10
 It's so hard to pinpoint what exactly it is.

 9:12
 So it is sort of like a comprehensive thing.

 9:14
 But I think the favorite thing was like is understanding that piece and that it's actually really simple to solve because you don't have to have everything that you want right now.

 9:27
 Like you think, well, I want this beautiful life, right?

 9:30
 It's out here and I have to do something to get there.

 9:35
 And so you think once you get there, then you're not going to feel needy, but you actually have to feel sufficient right here and now.

 9:46
 So one of the things that I've done is like, it's really simple.

 9:50
 It's basic.

 9:50
 It's like I have a roof over my head.

 9:53
 I have food in my belly, I'm warm and clothed.

 9:57
 I have, I have at least one nice outfit to wear.

 10:01
 I have the skills and ability to serve this person.

 10:05
 And then you show up in service and you really have to sell yourself on that.

 10:11
 You really have to sell yourself and it and it is literally that simple.

 10:14
 You don't have to have whatever it is you think you have to have to show up as the awesome version of you in order to get there.

 10:26
 You just have to sell yourself on what you have right now and how that's enough.

 10:37
 But then so for someone who's listening, right, like how do you actually like sell yourself on that?

 10:45
 Because I mean, it's easier said than that, right?

 10:48
 Like, so it is definite.

 10:51
 What would you do?

 10:54
 I think that it's a, it's sort of a regular practice of becoming aware of any time you have a thought that I'm not enough or this isn't good enough or how am I going to, I really need to get this job.

 11:11
 I really need to get this client.

 11:12
 I need to get this client.

 11:14
 You go into a networking situation and you're like, I need to get this client.

 11:17
 And you just know that like start to recognize it takes a little while to get going and to start to unfold and be more observant.

 11:26
 But there's an energy of need and it feels terrible in your body.

 11:30
 It feels like anxiety.

 11:32
 It feels like constriction.

 11:33
 It feels like you're putting yourself out there and there's this like graspy grabby effect to it and understanding first like when it's operational and then sort of pay attention to what are the thoughts that are happening in your mind when you're doing that.

 11:48
 It's like, Oh my God, that's going to be a perfect client for me.

 11:51
 And you start to feel yourself like it's so it's like almost a jittery, too pushy and you don't know what it's like to be sold to by a pushy salesperson.

 12:04
 And when you're sufficient and you just are like sufficient in what you do, confident in what you do.

 12:12
 And that's where you, you sell yourself on what you already have, how you already have what you need today or this week or this month or whatever.

 12:20
 Like, I mean, every individual has to sort of decide that for themselves.

 12:25
 I think when I first started doing this, it was like today, today I have a roof over my head.

 12:31
 Today I have all this wonderful food to eat and I just sort of limited myself to today.

 12:39
 And then I was out there and today I have a camera and I have skills and I have the ability to talk to people and show them what I can do.

 12:49
 That's all I need.

 12:52
 So it's sort of developing a practice of becoming aware of what it feels like to be in need and knowing that that that it's repellent and it's not going to really get you where you want to be.

 13:05
 You often end up with clients who are nightmare clients when you attract clients from need and just give them a little bit of time to practice it over and over and over again and really become aware.

 13:19
 And then just continue to sell yourself on how freaking awesome you are, how you have what you need, how you're headed in the direction of where you want to go.

 13:29
 Yeah.

 13:29
 I think one of the things that we can get caught up in is wanting it to happen really fast, wanting to fix it, want to already be at the end.

 13:37
 Always want to want to be at the part where you're already making ** amount of dollars a year.

 13:43
 You know, whatever that number is.

 13:44
 6 figures, 7 figures, 10 figures, 5 figures.

 13:50
 It doesn't really matter.

 13:53
 Yeah.

 13:55
 So I have a couple of what's the word lines of thought.

 14:01
 OK, so one is the first one is, you know, like at this stage, right?

 14:08
 Like at this stage of my life, at this stage of my business, I think I find it very easy to follow that, right?

 14:17
 Like today I have my head.

 14:20
 I have because I know I do know at the back of my mind that I have surplus.

 14:28
 Does that make sense?

 14:30
 Yes.

 14:32
 But for someone who does not, who's just starting off, who's I don't know, bills are due tomorrow and probably the money isn't there, right?

 14:44
 Like, how do you still cultivate that?

 14:50
 How do you believe when you have no evidence?

 14:53
 I think is what what?

 14:55
 Yes, absolutely.

 14:57
 When you have no evidence that you can solve this problem, how do you believe that you can create a solution?

 15:04
 Yeah, in a, in a sort of like bigger sort of from coaching, like from the observer down to like what is happening in the human life is.

 15:19
 Oh gosh, I lost my turn of thought and trying to give you the disclaimer, I lost my train of thought.

 15:25
 It happens to me all the freaking time.

 15:29
 Oh, it happens to me all the freaking time.

 15:30
 Does it all?

 15:35
 OK, so ask me again and I bet I can pick it back up.

 15:40
 So how do you kind of believe that or follow the process of just today when the evidence isn't there?

 15:51
 Oh, OK, I remember what I was going to say.

 15:52
 OK, So if you find that you're in a situation where you feel like you're between a rock and a hard place, there's no solutions except this one that sucks and this other one that sucks and you have to you have to suck it up.

 16:05
 Basically go either direction.

 16:07
 That is a key indicator that you are not in the world of possibilities in your brain, that you are literally sitting right next to your amygdala ready to press the panic button.

 16:21
 And most of us spend a lot of our time there as we move through life.

 16:24
 So that's sort of like the bigger coaching concept.

 16:27
 But how do you do it as a human who's in those feelings?

 16:32
 It's really, it's really, I have so much compassion and I've been in that place many, many times.

 16:38
 And I can tell you that one of the things that I did was, OK, I have these pills.

 16:45
 I had somebody, I had therapist tell me this.

 16:48
 And at the time it really ****** me off.

 16:51
 But he was like, if you have money problems, these are just technical problems.

 16:57
 It's technical problem, but it requires a technical solution.

 17:00
 And I couldn't understand it.

 17:03
 But one of the things that I did to sort of overtime is start to this is what I teach when I, when I do money coaching is, is I would look at my bank account every day.

 17:20
 So online bank account and I would look and see what was in there, how much is in here and what can I do today?

 17:27
 How can I solve this today?

 17:29
 And tomorrow is going to have to take care of itself because I have no other options.

 17:33
 I can solve today.

 17:35
 So if that means I can pay $5 towards my electricity bill and $5 towards my gas bill and $5 on food and $5 on, you know, whatever.

 17:46
 Like I did it like literally parsed it out in little tiny amounts on a day-to-day basis, but developed the practice every time to look at how much money is coming in, how much money is going out, where can I shore up the leaks?

 17:59
 And so it was a very technical solution, but it led me to understanding the in the insurance and outs of money, the flow of money, and that thinking that there wasn't enough was never actually a true statement.

 18:18
 I mean, I was living the effects of there not being enough, right?

 18:21
 Because I was thinking there's not enough.

 18:23
 So it showed up as not enough when I started to go, oh, money is always consistently coming in and it's consistently going out.

 18:30
 And I started to understand, and not just to understand the flow of money through our lives, but directed intentionally.

 18:39
 And even though it was tiny amounts and I got out of debt and I built savings and it created a whole different life.

 18:50
 And another important piece of this, I can't stress this enough, Write it down what your goals are.

 18:59
 Write down what you want to solve.

 19:02
 Put it on paper or put it in a in a spreadsheet, put it in a document on a computer.

 19:07
 It doesn't have to be pen to paper, but you write it down.

 19:11
 And I promise you that in a certain number of years, you're going to find that and you're going to look at it and you're going to go check, check, check, check, check all of this.

 19:23
 And you're not going to know how you did it because you wrote it down.

 19:26
 So you write it down.

 19:27
 You kind of forget about it.

 19:28
 You're like, I want to solve all these problems, but let me solve today.

 19:31
 And then, you know, five years down the line you find this document is Googled in your Google Docs in your drive and you're like, Oh my God, look at these goals that I had five years ago and go, wow, I did that.

 19:45
 So there's Oh yeah, that's certain certain level of self trust.

 19:50
 There's certain level of trusting, you know, the universe, trusting what, what people are like, people like us are telling you.

 20:00
 Yeah, Yeah, it's doable.

 20:02
 It's doable.

 20:05
 It's magic.

 20:06
 And I think it's also, it's also kind of just breaking through the narratives that you grew up with.

 20:13
 Yeah, it's right.

 20:16
 Like, I mean, tell me more.

 20:19
 We all grew up with stories that, you know, this.

 20:23
 So I like if I were to talk specifically about me, I am like the first, yeah, actually I'm the first woman to become an engineer in my entire family.

 20:36
 Like like my mum's a graduate, like she went to college and all, but like the first person woman to have like a technical degree.

 20:43
 And like, so there again, you know, there's, I have no idea.

 20:48
 There's no one that I can look up to, right?

 20:53
 When I am, for example, like building My Portfolio, like looking to invest, whatever, whatever that looks like, right?

 21:03
 So it's also about, I think smashing the narratives that came that were passed down to you like this, how it's going to be for you, right?

 21:15
 And then taking it and making it your own and looking outside of your bubble, if I may.

 21:24
 Right.

 21:25
 And find people who did that.

 21:30
 Yes.

 21:31
 Does that make sense?

 21:31
 It's beautiful.

 21:33
 Yeah, it totally makes sense.

 21:34
 It's beautiful.

 21:35
 And, and the, the part that I love about that, because I have similar, similar story, the part that I've learned to love about it is that it's kind of like the next level of growing up where of going into adulthood, of growing into leadership and realizing like all of the people who came before me had this dream for me.

 22:04
 Now I get to take the, you know, take the the baton.

 22:11
 You know, it's like a baton race.

 22:13
 You take a baton and now I run with it.

 22:15
 And so I'm out front and I'm the leader.

 22:17
 And then I want to bring, you know, the younger ones along and push them forward.

 22:24
 Oh yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

 22:27
 So that is a huge shift in self concept.

 22:30
 It's like when you start to realize like, I'm not that person that, you know, my upbringing, my conditioning taught me to be and it and you kind of break a little bit.

 22:43
 It kind of like breaks.

 22:45
 And it it might be really, really scary.

 22:48
 But once you find your footing, once you build your footing beneath you, then you're like, oh, now I get to be the leader.

 22:58
 No, no, absolutely.

 23:00
 Like, so cool.

 23:02
 Yeah, it is.

 23:03
 But I think that's that's the thing, right.

 23:05
 Like again, I think it leads back to self trust because you know, you've got to have your back throughout that, throughout that entire process of like, you know, finding yourself, finding your voice, finding your footing.

 23:20
 And so I'm also curious, like when you coach people on something like money, right?

 23:32
 I know that there is a lot of energetics, like money is energy, right?

 23:36
 Like there's a lot of energetics that go into it, but there's also, like you said, a lot of technical solutions.

 23:42
 So how do you like, if I'm someone listening to this and I want to bring more abundance into my life, Like I'm already at that place where my, you know, today is taken care of, but I want like an abundant future.

 24:00
 Like what would you tell that person?

 24:06
 I like to think of abundance for people on any stage of what they're trying to create as far as abundance or business or, you know, a bigger life is to think of money, the flow of money like a river.

 24:22
 And you have your thoughts and beliefs about yourself and about what you can have are like the rocks and the rocks and pebbles and sand that's blocking the flow or diverting the flow.

 24:40
 So you want to open that flow so that it comes into your life.

 24:43
 You want it to that river to be flowing into you and out of you.

 24:47
 And just know that there's enough.

 24:49
 There's always enough.

 24:50
 So I think one of those things is like, we can, we can remove some of the big blocks, some of the big things that are in our way.

 24:58
 And then then you're talking about a person who's like, OK, I've got today, I've got the next year, I've got the next five years taken care of.

 25:05
 We're good, we've got it set right.

 25:07
 But then, you know, disasters happen and that might take somebody, you know, they might deplete their savings, their, their emergency funds or something like that.

 25:16
 I mean, you have to build that back up.

 25:18
 So when it comes to stuff like that and building self trust, you want to just be looking at what are those thoughts that block the flow?

 25:29
 What are the bigger beliefs that you have about yourself?

 25:32
 I love to do this money association sort of really rapid back and forth with people just to start off to find out and show them where they are with money.

 25:43
 And it starts with like, how do you feel about $1.00?

 25:46
 What is your response to $1.00?

 25:48
 And it goes up and mounts.

 25:49
 And then it's geared towards women.

 25:51
 So it's sort of like, how do you feel about rich women?

 25:54
 Yeah.

 25:55
 What are your thoughts?

 25:56
 What do you, what comes to mind when you think of wealthy women, wealthy people?

 26:00
 What do you think of billionaires?

 26:02
 What do you think of poor people?

 26:03
 What do you think of artists?

 26:05
 What do you like?

 26:06
 Just just to sort of like, And it's rapid fire.

 26:09
 So it's just off the top of their head what their response is.

 26:13
 And then I like to after, you know, whatever our coaching container is, five months or whatever, do it again and see how that's shifted and changed.

 26:23
 So that is a really good way to uncover what your thoughts are about money, right?

 26:30
 Because some people will get to like, rich women are, you know, horrible people hate them.

 26:36
 Yeah.

 26:37
 But then they might have a different thought when they think of wealthy women.

 26:40
 Like the difference between rich and wealthy might be have two different connotations.

 26:44
 But it's really all about digging into the individual's brain and finding what are the remnants, the the thoughts and beliefs that are maybe remnants from their life prior to figuring it out.

 27:04
 And those usually come from family and society and teachers and religion.

 27:10
 So one of my big ones was it's easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than a rich man to get into heaven.

 27:21
 And I was in the Catholic.

 27:23
 I'm not a practicing Catholic any longer, but that's what I was raised in.

 27:27
 So I wanted wealth, I wanted things, I wanted a beautiful life, but I also wanted to go to heaven.

 27:37
 And I was literally taught that those two things could not coexist.

 27:41
 I had to teach myself that the one was just, you know, a warning to not be greedy, whatever that means.

 27:53
 Oh my God, you have no idea how much I relate to that.

 27:57
 Like I'm a Hindu, like I was born a Hindu.

 27:59
 I'm not, I mean, I don't know if I completely still identify with being a Hindu.

 28:05
 Like, you know, I believe in the universe, the source, like that's that's what I believe in the most.

 28:12
 But then being raised in the family that I was raised in, one of the things that was really, really important was, you know, how you should have only what you need.

 28:24
 Like we should keep only what you need and anything excess should go back, right?

 28:31
 Or you have to sacrifice for the greater good, for the good of the society like you should.

 28:38
 And honestly, I always, even as a child, I, I thought that, you know, like, why, why, right.

 28:50
 And why like, what is?

 28:52
 Because again, like you said, I always wanted more.

 28:54
 I always knew that I had these big dreams.

 28:58
 And like, even today, like, one thing that I wanted, I want to, I want to buy an Alexander McQueen gown.

 29:03
 Like, that's one of the things that I really want to do.

 29:05
 I don't know if you know it.

 29:06
 It's like, yes, I want to see you in it, right.

 29:11
 And then if I shared this with my parents, they're gonna be like, why?

 29:16
 Like, you get clothes.

 29:17
 Like, you could buy any other gown that's, like, probably one thousandth of the cost.

 29:22
 I don't know, maybe lesser.

 29:23
 I don't even know.

 29:25
 Right.

 29:25
 And then you could donate it and use it for the greater good.

 29:27
 And there used to be such a tug of war and so much guilt and shame around this idea of, you know, I want wealth and I want ******* abundance.

 29:37
 And I want to be like whoever I want to be.

 29:42
 And yeah, I know.

 29:44
 I know we started at a very different point, but yeah, I, yeah, yeah.

 29:49
 No, but I love that line.

 29:50
 I love that line of thinking.

 29:52
 We could go down.

 29:52
 We could go down a tangent.

 29:54
 We certainly could.

 29:55
 Yeah.

 29:55
 And so, so now that you're here, I also would like to kind of talk about how, like shame is so interlinked with insufficiency.

 30:07
 Like, do you do believe that?

 30:08
 I feel, I feel shame massively, like drags into you.

 30:14
 Yeah.

 30:15
 Shame.

 30:17
 I just made a post about shame after a really deep conversation with a friend of mine.

 30:22
 And we coach each other back and forth.

 30:24
 And it's like the shame that shame is like the foundational, like the basis of everything.

 30:31
 That's like every problem that we have in our life is because we're hiding from feeling shame, from feeling humiliation, from feeling embarrassment, like it's the way that we can be controlled.

 30:43
 Yeah, is if somebody shames us.

 30:46
 And I think that they're particularly evil people, there's particularly manipulative people and then there's just bullies who they just know how to press that shame button like from when you're a child.

 30:58
 And then we got educated and conditioned, socialized with shame and it's feels so it's so painful to face.

 31:12
 You literally feel like you're going to die.

 31:15
 Feel it that it's such a really good way to control somebody, to control a mind and to like, condition a whole society towards a particular goal or outcome, you know, for like powers that be government or religion or whatever, bigger powers that go way back.

 31:38
 So shame.

 31:39
 Yeah.

 31:40
 I think addressing shame in ourselves is such a, such a empowering thing to do.

 31:47
 And one of the things that I've learned in like grappling with my own feelings, especially about money and about wanting, about being able to admit I want to be wealthy.

 32:02
 I want abundance.

 32:04
 Like that's a shameful thing in certain circles as you're describing within your religion and your family, the religion of your, you know, of your family being able to feel the feelings of shame.

 32:18
 And I don't know if you've talked about like clean views, clean feelings versus dirt, not dirty feelings in a good way.

 32:28
 But yeah, dirty things being like you have shame and shame in and of itself is not like undo UN unfeelable.

 32:38
 But when you don't want to feel it, then you add like you're avoiding it.

 32:42
 And so then that becomes another feeling that's piled on top of it, which makes it like even ickier and heavier and dirtier.

 32:49
 So, And for me, one of those feelings is dread.

 32:53
 And dread is such a worse than shame.

 32:56
 Like in my body, if I sit with it, it's nauseating.

 33:00
 Shame is scary.

 33:01
 Yeah, it's terrifying because it feels like you're going to die because you're thinking I'm literally going to get put out of the group of people.

 33:10
 I'm going to be pushed out into the desert and I'm going to die the hands of a wild animal or just by the elements.

 33:17
 And I'm not accepted in the group.

 33:22
 So that's, I mean, I don't know if I answered your question, but that's just sort of like the things that I've been thinking about with regard to shame lately and how it it's, it feels shameful to not have enough money.

 33:36
 It feels shameful to want money.

 33:38
 I mean, like how that's, that's your rock and your hard place right there.

 33:47
 Yeah.

 33:48
 Yeah.

 33:48
 Oh my God.

 33:49
 Yeah.

 33:49
 Absolutely.

 33:50
 Yeah, OK, so if you were to give one piece of advice to someone who's listening to this podcast, what would that be?

 34:05
 Hire a life coach as soon as you possibly can.

 34:10
 Oh my God, yes, Hire a life coach as soon as you possibly can because because this work is so important and life changing and there are so many of us out here wanting and ready and willing to help you get through the **** that's standing in the way of you having what you want.

 34:38
 So that's like of course flippant because you're a life coach and I'm a life coach.

 34:42
 But I guess the next thing would be in developing the self trust and the belief when there's no evidence.

 34:51
 I mean, like that is the true definition of building self-confidence.

 34:57
 And if you have any kind of faith, or if you don't have religion, but you have a belief in, you know, the the greater good, if you have a belief in that there is a powerful source of all the things that exist in the world, like just divine intelligence, just scientific intelligence, Believe in how the plants work, how nature works.

 35:25
 And, and try to step out of try to get out of your own way.

 35:29
 Think about that river, think about moving blocks, your own thoughts about money and how you don't deserve moving those blocks out of the river of flow.

 35:37
 And maybe if it doesn't even take that much, maybe you could just eek a little bit of that flow through by just imagining it, just using that thought, get some flow into your life.

 35:50
 And then when you have that flow in your life, then hire a life coach.

 35:56
 I love that.

 35:57
 That's beautiful.

 35:59
 All right, one last question.

 36:00
 I love asking this to all my guests.

 36:04
 If you were to recommend one piece of media, So it can be anything.

 36:10
 It can be a movie, it can be a book, it can be a podcast, it can be a song, a music album, whatever that's like your all time favorite that you would definitely want the listeners to check out.

 36:23
 What would that be it?

 36:24
 It doesn't have to be related to what we talked about today.

 36:27
 It can be anything.

 36:29
 OK, So what popped into my head and, and trying to relate it to what we're talking about is the fairly recent film, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, the one with, oh, what's his name?

 36:47
 I know his name's not Derek Zoolander, but the actor who played Derek's Lander, right?

 36:54
 What is his name?

 36:56
 Why can't you read his name?

 36:57
 But The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Let's see what this is in it.

 37:01
 Kristen Williams, MIT.

 37:03
 Sean Penn is in it, right?

 37:05
 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 37:06
 I have seen the posters and the trailer also, I think, but I haven't seen the movie.

 37:13
 It's a really, it's a really fun ride and somebody changing their life.

 37:18
 OK, cool.

 37:19
 I'm going to check it out.

 37:21
 This is so fun.

 37:22
 I love this.

 37:22
 I love collecting, like different recommendations from people and then going and checking it out.

 37:27
 It's fun.

 37:28
 Yeah.

 37:29
 What's yours?

 37:31
 What's your recommendation?

 37:33
 Oh my God, no one's ever asked me that.

 37:37
 Oh **** that's gonna be a tough one.

 37:39
 But so one book that I keep going back to, or have gone back to in the past 4-5 years is Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankel.

 37:55
 I think that's OK.

 37:58
 One of my, I mean, it's it's not the happiest of books, but I think it's one of the most important books ever written.

 38:08
 So do you do you know about it?

 38:12
 I've heard of it.

 38:12
 Haven't read it.

 38:13
 OK.

 38:14
 I don't know very much about it.

 38:16
 OK.

 38:17
 Yeah, I would definitely recommend.

 38:19
 Like, it's it's beautiful.

 38:23
 It's really, really, I mean, it's from the Holocaust, so it does get really dark, but it's about this.

 38:33
 I think I have a second recommendation.

 38:37
 Oh, OK, no, no, go on.

 38:40
 Go on.

 38:41
 Otherwise, I'll keep talking about it.

 38:42
 OK, go on.

 38:44
 So one of the things that, oh, this is said, I bring this up a lot.

 38:51
 It's a movie called Life is Beautiful, and Oh my God, yes.

 38:56
 Oh my God, I've seen it.

 38:57
 OK, So it's a hard film to watch.

 39:01
 It's.

 39:01
 Oh, my God, it's a hard film to watch.

 39:04
 As much as I wish that I had never watched it, I'm glad that I did because of this, this understanding that I got from it, which is like, if this man can be in that situation and believe so hard in life being beautiful and the particular outcome and have that outcome happen.

 39:27
 Yeah, I'm just like, that gives me shivers every time.

 39:31
 I, I refer to it a lot when I'm, when I'm talking to clients about the things that we were talking about earlier, which is like, how do you believe when there's absolutely no evidence and there's a lot of evidence in the opposite?

 39:44
 Yeah.

 39:45
 Yeah.

 39:46
 That's a good one.

 39:46
 Yeah.

 39:47
 Oh, I think you love Man's Search for meaning because that's exactly what it is about.

 39:51
 It's about one man's will, one man's hope to just survive.

 39:58
 Like, that's it.

 39:59
 That's all it is.

 40:00
 OK.

 40:01
 Yeah.

 40:02
 All right.

 40:03
 I had a lovely time.

 40:04
 Robin, this is so much fun.

 40:06
 We went all over the place, but thank you.

 40:09
 Thank you so much for being killer.

 40:12
 Thank you.

 40:13
 It was so fun.

 40:14
 I'm really happy to be here and talk to you in person, you know, in person, ish.

 40:21
 As close as it can get at the moment.

 40:26
 All right, thank you so much for being on this podcast.

 40:28
 Thank you so much for sharing everything that you've shared.

 40:31
 And yeah, thank you.

 40:34
 You're so welcome.

 40:35
 It was my absolute pleasure, and I look forward to continuing our connection.

 40:41
 Absolutely, absolutely.

 40:43
 All right, All right, You have a wonderful rest of your week.

 40:48
 You too.

 40:49
 And everybody else out there, too.