Ep 079 888 Lions Gate Creativity Reset

You are choosing your misery. Yes, you. And once you admit that, everything about your business starts to change.

Episode Summary 

This is the Lion's Gate Creativity Reset: a live, unscripted session channeled during the 888 portal and built to name the resistance keeping creative entrepreneurs stuck below their potential. I pull a card, walk through why building a creative business requires you to let old identities die, unpack Carolyn Elliott's Existential Kink teaching on the hidden pleasure of staying small, lead a full EFT tapping release on the fears around visibility, money, and being seen, and closes with a guided visualization to help you choose the one thing that will actually move your business forward for the next six months. It's part ritual, part mindset teardown, part permission slip.

Key Takeaways

• Every fear you have about being seen, charging more, or getting bigger is proof you actually care — treat it as investment, not a stop sign.
• You may be getting a hidden payoff from staying stuck (sympathy, safety, an excuse) — Existential Kink calls this "seeking kinky pleasure from your own lack," and naming it is how you stop being run by it.
• Growing your creative business means letting old identities die: the good girl, the person with the steady paycheck, the one whose whole life was already mapped out.
• EFT tapping can move fear out of your body, not just out of your head — this episode includes a full guided tapping sequence you can do along with.
• Pick exactly ONE thing to focus on for the next three to six months. That's your lighthouse through the resistance.
• This work isn't about a six-month flip-and-sell. It's about building a long-term, sustainable, strong-as-fuck business rooted in your creativity.

Work with me:

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Transcript

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Lion's Gate Creativity Reset. I am so excited that you guys are here and watching this. If you're watching this in replay, I just want you to take a moment to connect with where we are right now in terms of time and space.

This is the Lion's Gate portal. And this year, the Lion's Gate portal is even more potent, because the year also adds up to 8. So this is not just an 88 portal, this is an 888 portal. 8 is the symbol of infinity, 8 is the symbol of abundance, 8 is the symbol of money manifestation. And today we rise into the magic of all of this money manifestation. So I am so excited that you are here.

Before we begin, I have a bunch of things that I want to do to release and reset our creativity. But first, I want to start by pulling a card for you. Anytime I pull a card, I set an intention around how the message coming through is the message required for all of our highest good — the message that is essential for all of us to thrive, to connect with our highest selves, to connect with our most abundant selves, to connect with those selves within us that are ready to actually come out and roar, that are ready to come out and be seen, that are ready to come out and build the business we all desire every single day.

Awesome. Let's see what comes out.

Today we're going to be doing a couple of things, but I'm also going to leave you with a few recommendations of what you could be doing for the rest of the day. The Lion's Gate portal is open till the 12th of August. So even if you're watching this a few days later, that is absolutely okay. And even if it's not the Lion's Gate portal and you are desiring a reset to your creative ID — this is for you. You can still go back and do this.

I love how every time I do a card pull, it is something so relevant and so potent to the moment that I pull the card. The card that I pulled today is the Warrior Woman, and she's asking you: have you answered your deepest calling?

Have you answered your deepest calling? (reading from the Work Your Light Oracle deck by Rebecca Campbell — a deck I use very regularly to connect with the spirit of my business, the spirit of my creativity, the spirit of the offer I'm working on. I use it as a guideline, as a journaling question, as something to sit and meditate on.)

Warrior Woman: Have you answered your deepest calling? You are here for a reason. You are being called to bravely pave a path. Living a heart- and soul-led life is not all fluffy and smooth sailing — it requires courage to triumph over fear. So often our fears are the gatekeepers to our greatest gifts, and the more resistance we have towards answering the call, the more important it is for our soul's growth. Sometimes fear is an indication that we are facing the right way. Joan of Arc was known for her courage and her famous line: "I'm not afraid, I was born to do this." But courage is not possible without fear. So if you are feeling afraid, what's needed is courage, and courage comes from living from the heart. Think of your fears as opportunities to expand rather than things holding you hostage. If you look at your fears in this light, then as uncomfortable as it might feel, it's actually a sign you're on the right track.

Have you answered your deepest calling? I love that we're beginning there, because honestly, I feel like this has really summarized what I want to dive into today with you all — a collection of all our resistances toward creativity. I'm calling this session the Creativity Reset, but before we go into the reset, I want to start with a contemplation of the resistance we have towards our creativity.

So what I want you to do is close your eyes and ask yourself: what is it that is actually stopping me from getting to my highest level in business? From getting to that level I see, I desire, but I am not really there yet?

It may show up as fear, like the card said. It may show up as resistance. Maybe you're scared of being seen. Maybe a part of you craves thousands of followers, but another part of you is scared that when there are thousands of eyes on you, you're going to have more responsibility. Maybe it's a fear of being visible, a fear of being judged. What are they going to think about what I have to say? What if I don't measure up to what they think of me?

One of the things we have to understand: to build a life that pours through your creativity, that stems from your creativity, you have to be willing to die a lot of deaths. And what I mean by that is — right now, you're holding an identity. For the longest time, mine was the identity of the good girl. I was someone who always listened to what my parents expected of me, always did the things I was supposed to do. I graduated college, got a good job, kept climbing the ladder. I was a good girl. I didn't rebel much.

But when I decided I wanted to connect with my creative calling, that was the day I started witnessing a lot of deaths of my own. The version of me that would have continued on the corporate path had to die. The version of me used to a regular, steady income had to die. The version of me whose entire life was mapped out in front of her had to die. When you're in a job, your entire path is decided for you — junior engineer, senior engineer, management or technical track. Your whole life is decided in a certain way, and choosing your creative calling means witnessing a lot of deaths of that.

You have to be willing to witness a lot of deaths if you want your creative calling explored. If you want your creative business to make real money, you have to be willing to witness a lot of deaths — the death of the good girl in you, the death of someone always playing by the rules, the death of someone locked into "this is the path I'm taking." When I started my business, I was a clarity coach. Then I pivoted and worked with corporate leaders as a leadership coach. Then, briefly, I was a general life coach helping people connect with themselves. Now I'm a mindset coach — an identity coach — for creative entrepreneurs. You have to be willing to witness a lot of deaths.

When you want to be seen, to be visible, you have to witness the death of the version of yourself that's shrinking, that's playing small, that gets off on bitching about how they're still small, still not visible.

I want to go there a little today with our resistance. What I'm about to touch on is based on the work of the beautiful Carolyn Elliott, who very unfortunately passed away a few days ago. I feel it's such a loss to the world. Her book, Existential Kink, has been the basis of so much of what I've done in my life and so much of the work I do. I want to pay homage to her through this.

Here's the idea: you have a problem in your business. The problem may be lack of visibility, lack of sales, not attracting the right kind of clients, not making enough money — you're signing clients but not making as much because maybe you're not charging enough. These are problems you might be facing right now. Now let's take a step back.

Carolyn Elliott, through Existential Kink, says that every misery we have, we choose — because there's some kind of delectable pleasure we're getting from that misery. I know this. I've done this myself. It's so easy to be like, "Oh my god, I'm doing so much but no one's signing up, no one's paying me, I'm not usable anywhere." It's so easy to play the victim, because when I play the victim, I get to sit next to my husband and bitch to him about it, and I get his sympathy and his love, and he goes, "You know what, just sit here, I'll go serve us dinner." That's a pleasure I may be getting out of my own misery.

Another pleasure: "I know I'm undercharging, but I continue to undercharge." Why? Because I'm getting pleasure from having to live in lack. How can living in lack be a pleasure? It can be a pleasure if that's what your nervous system is used to. If your nervous system hasn't experienced abundance in all its form and glory, it's going to seek pleasure in lack. You seek pleasure by complaining about it, by playing the victim in it, by looking at that other business owner in your field and bitching about how she must be doing something unethical to make that much money, how she must have something else in her life she's not happy about — because you can't have everything. That's you seeking kinky pleasure from your own lack.

As you settle into this idea of resistance, as you contemplate what's stopping you from actually doing that thing, I want you to also start asking yourself: is there a pleasure I'm deriving from this? Is there a part of me that feels actually good about this misery?

Okay. So let's come back. Now I want to do a release EFT tapping with you. When I say that, I want you to take your journal and write down at least five to ten fears that come up when you think of the version of you that has made it. Bring that version — the one with the clients, the money, the impact — into your mind's eye, and write down the fears that come up. Fear of being seen, fear of being judged, fear of becoming so successful your friends don't recognize you, fear of outgrowing your social circle, fear of outgrowing your family circle. I completely understand that. I'm the first woman in my generation to make the kind of money I make, to run the kind of business I run, and it can feel alienating, isolating already. When I think about making ten times what I make now, it feels even more daunting, because I feel like the gap between me and my family is going to keep increasing. All of those fears are valid, whatever they are for you — "who am I to be talking about this, who am I to be selling this," your imposter syndrome, whatever it is. Write your list of five to ten fears.

As I take you through the tapping, insert these fears wherever they fit. I'm going to try to cover the umbrella of fears that come in the way of creativity, but at any point, change the language, insert your own. This is going to be one of the bomb-ass EFT tappings we've done. If you've never tapped before, just follow along and repeat after me, tapping wherever I'm tapping.

(Tapping sequence — take a deep breath, then repeat/tap along:)

Even though I feel like I am not where I need to be... even though there's a part of me that questions if this is even the right path for me... even though there is so much fear that comes up around being seen, around selling, around serving clients, around my own imposter syndrome... even though there are so many times during the course of my journey that I feel like, why did I choose this... even though I have doubt, and I have fears, and I have resistance towards my own success — I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

I know that I have a lot of fears, and these fears are absolutely valid. Of course I'm scared of having ten thousand followers if I've never been in front of ten thousand eyes. Of course I've never sold something worth lakhs of rupees — that's just something I've created. The fear of going out and selling something worth three lakhs, five lakhs, is daunting. And I get that it's natural and okay to have this fear, because my fear is telling me that I actually give a fuck. That I am so invested in the results that I feel fear. I feel daunted that I might fuck this up, that I might not do it justice.

I also acknowledge there may be a fear that I become so successful, make so much money, that I wouldn't know what to do with it — that I say I want a hundred clients, but I actually work with a hundred clients and realize it's overwhelming, that it's burnt me out, and I don't want that anymore. Maybe I'm also scared of becoming successful enough that I'll outgrow my social circle, that I'll get to a point where people around me don't find me relatable at all. And that scares me.

I am scared of going out there and saying what's on my mind, because I'm worried people are going to judge me. Or even worse, I'm worried people are going to see the real me and not like what they see. I'm worried they're going to cancel me, shun me, leave rude comments on my posts, unsubscribe from my emails, go around telling people, "don't follow this person, she's not that great, not that smart, not that intelligent." I am worried that people will find me out to be a fraud.

But I'm also, at this point, confident that I am completely, truly, and deeply in love with what I have to do, in love with the work I do, with the value I provide, with the transformations I provide. I know there's a lot of fear, a lot of resistance that comes up, but I also know there is so much value in what I have to offer, because I am kick-ass in my own way. Maybe I'm not as successful or as amazing as the next person yet, but I do have great ideas, because I built this business from my own mind — I pulled it out of my ass and built it with my own two hands, with my blood, sweat, and tears. So yes, there is fear, but there is also so much to be proud of.

I am this individual who actually had the balls to go out there and start a business. I am someone who decided that I'm going to carve my own path in a world where everyone is following the herd, mired in the rat race. I decided I'm going to let my creativity take the reins of my career — and that is an amazing thing. I have so much to offer, so much creative energy inside of me, because I am a creator. At the end of the day, I chose this path because that's who I am at my core. I'm a creative person, and everything, even my fears, are a result of my creativity — assumptions I'm making, vivid pictures I'm painting, because I am a fucking creative person.

So if they're assumptions anyway, and I'm such a beautiful creative being anyway, maybe I could come up with some alternative creative assumptions. Maybe I can use my brain's power and my creativity to paint assumptions on my brain's blackboard that actually serve me, rather than assumptions that stop me from playing big, from going after what I want, from pitching that client, from creating the work I do, from actually living my best fucking life.

So here are some new assumptions. I am a creator by nature, which means I can create anything — I can create clients, money, abundance, peace, joy, happiness, love, connectedness, community — all because I am a creative person. My power lies within me, and no matter how much I deny it, it isn't going to go away, because my power is energy, and energy can neither be created nor destroyed. My power sits within me — in my heart, my sternum, my body, the depths of my belly, my uterus. My power resides there. And I am choosing right now to connect with that power, because I am a powerhouse of creativity, a powerhouse of all things good in this life, because I choose to focus on all things good in this life.

Every single result I have desired has come true. And if it hasn't come true, it means I haven't desired it truly and completely. So this is me claiming that — claiming all of my desires while connected with that core of creative power within me. I claim that I'm going to be so big that people recognize me in the streets. I claim I'm going to make so much money that I can easily do the things I want — fly business class or first class with my husband to Europe, easily, because I have that much abundance accessible to me. I'm so visible that I don't have to chase clients, because clients are chasing me — people texting me every single day, "how can I work with you," people on my waitlist for when my time frees up. I am so much in demand it's crazy to think this is the life I've built.

I am working the right way inside my business, so much that every single action I take, every smallest thing I do, is moving the needle toward my visibility. I am creatively so abundant that I have so many ideas, so many propositions, I don't have time to even filter through them. I am someone who works at the speed of lightning — every time I get an idea, I'm at it, executing it. Even if I fail, even if I get rejected, even if it feels like nothing is working — because rejection, failure, falling on my face is the way I grow, the way I become that version of me that is truly unstoppable. So I am going to stop denying those gifts to myself. I am going to open myself up completely to this fountain of creativity that wants to come through, and I know I am not going to stop it from coming out, no matter how many times I get rejected, no matter how many times I get told no, no matter how many times I fall on my face, no matter how many times I fail. I keep going, because what I have to say, what I have to do, my work has an immense amount of value, and that is a beautiful thing.

So I am choosing, in this moment, to connect with that version of me that is abundant in creativity, abundant in money, abundant in opportunity, abundant in every fucking way I can think of. My business is growing, more people are coming to me, people aligned to my energy, my fans — and I can't even believe I have so many fans, because I am such an amazing person, and I can't even believe I used to doubt that.

(Guided visualization)

I want you to close your eyes here and take a deep breath, and keep listening to my voice.

I want you to picture that fountain of creativity, that power of creativity, as a golden, pulsating ball in your heart — or wherever it feels right in your body. For me, it's my heart, my sternum. Feel the light, the golden light emanating from that ball. With every heartbeat, that golden light is pulsating, and as it pulsates, it's growing. With every inhale you take, that ball of creativity — that golden powerhouse — is expanding, in your heart center, your belly, your uterus. It's growing and growing, so much that it's completely encompassed your torso, and it's still growing with every inhale you take. It's growing until it's completely encompassed your body. This is who you are. This is the power of your creativity, your creative powerhouse. You were born with it — you've just forgotten it. Right now, I want you to connect with this forgotten powerhouse of creativity within you. It's not external. It doesn't come from your family, your friends, your next mentor or coach, that person leaving a comment on your Instagram post. It comes from within you, and it is an ever-growing, ever-expanding ball of pulsating light.

Gently place your hand at the source of that ball — chest, belly, wherever — and connect with it. Feel the heat emanating from that source of all creativity.

From this space, picture yourself — completely and truly in your power. Picture yourself maybe six months from now, having actually achieved all you set out to achieve. Your business goals: tick, tick, tick, tick — done. You are making money, you are insanely in demand, your creativity is at an all-time high. Connect with that picture of your future self.

From this space, define one thing. Only one thing you are going to focus on, in this next week, this next month, this next six months, when it comes to your business. One thing. This is the thing that's going to move the needle for you, and you know what it is, because you're connected with your future self right now — the version of you that already has this thing. What is the one thing that, if you focus on it for the next month, four months, six months, you become that version of you? And how does that connect with your creativity? How does that one thing connect with your joy? How can it bring you more and more joy?

Take a deep breath here, and gently open your eyes.

(End of visualization)

Now take your journal and write down what that one thing is — the one thing you just got from your own future self. This one thing is your lighthouse. You are at sea, and there are so many challenges, so much resistance in the water to get you to shore. But you have your guiding light — your lighthouse right there.

What is that one thing going to be? It can be anything. It can be, "I'm going to write an email once every single day." "I'm going to publish one video every single day." "I'm going to spend one hour just honing my creativity." "I'm going to get on fifty consultation calls so I can nail my sales system." "I'm going to actually sit down and look at my money every single day, because I've ignored my money for so long." Whatever shape and form that one thing is, write it down. Then ask yourself: how can this thing bring me joy? In what ways can this bring me joy?

Right now, I'm on a spree to publish a hundred videos a month. I'm in month two — started in July, this is August. I keep asking myself, how can this bring me joy? It brings me so much joy because I can see people resonating with the content I'm publishing. I can see how much better I'm getting at it — the last couple of YouTube videos I published without edits, because I'm just getting that good. This session itself — I had an outline in my mind, but no script. If you've been in my world, you know I always have pointers. I don't have that today, because I decided to channel this session for you and meet you where you're at. And that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm getting so good at it, and that brings me so much joy. It brings me joy knowing that in the last week I've added seventy people to my Instagram, that there are six complete strangers inside the community I started last week who have invested in me to be here.

It just gives me joy helping people connect with their creativity, connect with their own inner power, get rid of the mindset drama, and actually make more money, more impact, sign more clients. That's what gives me joy in this process of creating a hundred videos. Is it daunting? Yeah, sometimes. Is it challenging? Yeah, sometimes. But it's worth it, because what is life if you don't date challenges for yourself? Why did you choose to build a business if you wanted it to be easy and smooth? This isn't easy and smooth. It's full of challenges. So what if you were to choose your own challenge?

So — what is that one thing? Write it down. Take a marker, write it in bold letters, put it behind you, put it in front of you. That is your guiding light.

I want you to journal on this: if I were to go all in on this one thing for the next six months, how would my life change? And I'm going to tell you — you might not see the results right away. That's okay, because we're here playing the long game. If you're someone who wants to turn a company around in six months, sell it off, and move on — this isn't for you. We are here to build long-term, sustainable, strong-as-fuck businesses.

So if I were to go all in on this one thing, how would my life and business look different? What miracles would I welcome into my business if I honed in on this one thing? Free-write on this. And then create a system so you can continue doing that one thing. If you're inside the Creative AF Collective, send messages, find accountability partners — maybe I'll even start a thread so you can find your own. Maybe you create a tracker. I used Claude Cowork to build a beautiful interactive tracker for the videos I'm publishing — I have a points system: long-form videos get more points than short-form, signing a client above a certain dollar amount gets more points. I'm gamifying it for myself. It works for my ADHD brain — find out what works for you. And if you're not inside the Creative AF Collective, I'll link it below so you can find your way into this community of creators, of creative entrepreneurs, learning and growing from each other every single day.

Before I wrap this up, before we lose this portal, I want you to ask yourself: what would my life look like if I actually stopped denying myself the gifts my creativity is giving me? What would it look like? In what ways will I stop shrinking? In what ways will I stop postponing? In what ways will I actually take responsibility and radical ownership of my business and my results?

Thank you so much for being in this space, for your lovely presence, for your energy. I really can't wait to see what these next one, four, six months look like for you.

And if you want to be the person who intentionally takes charge of your business and builds that creative, sustainable business for yourself — I have the Creative AF Experience. This is a one-year-long experience where we dive into Aligned AF, where you get to know yourself completely; then Wealthy AF, your relationship with money, with pricing, your money trauma, your relationship with lack, the pleasure I said you might be taking from lack — we dismantle all of that so you become an unstoppable wealth magnet; then Worthy AF, your visibility, being shamelessly, utterly, completely yourself in your power, in your creator's sovereignty, going out there and making money, making impact, signing clients, building the business of your dreams from your creativity, from your creative powerhouse, from everything this universe has gifted you with.

If that's something you're interested in, I'll link my calendar so you can book a consultation call with me — let's see if this is a great fit for you.

That is all I have for you today. You can find all the links in the show notes or the YouTube description. I cannot wait. We'll see you soon. Alright — ciao!