In-Between: Fear is your Friend with Noah Daniels

We're back this week with special guest, Noah Daniels of the Real Hauntings Podcast! For those who don't know, Noah has his own spooky podcast, which I've been a guest on, as well as co-hosted several times. It's a great show with the largest audio library of first count experiences with the paranormal.

Noah and I talk about what got him started in podcasting, which opened a deep conversation about figuring out who you are while embracing the unknown.  It's about being the main character in your story. This episode is full of wisdom, perseverance, combating our good ole' friend Imposter Syndrome, and never holding back on your dreams.

Oh, and we definitely hear a spooky ghost story or two. ;)

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Transcript

Liz: 0:00

Hello. Hello. Welcome back to another episode of the In Between podcast. I'm your host, Elizabeth Cheney. I hope you all are doing fabulous as always. I have a very, very special guest that I'm very excited about. Uh, I would say we. Our friends, we are podcast buddies. I behind his back, I call him my podcast mentor. Not sure if you know that yet, but there we go. But I have Noah Daniels, and for those who don't know, um, maybe you living under a rock. But I co-host and I've been a guest on the Real Hauntings podcast, and this is Noah's podcast. So I said, um, you're the OG podcaster. I need you to come. You know, spread your light, spread your, your wisdom, your truth, your coolness, your spookiness on the in between. So welcome to the in between

Noah: 0:44

Noah. Yeah. Hey Liz. I'm super happy to be here. It was, Probably, I guess more than a couple months now since we met each other. It really is. Yeah. Um, our mutual friend, KA, who is one of my co-host on the Real Hauntings podcast, brought you on as a guest. She did, and I've been lucky where a handful of times we've had guests on the podcast who have transitioned into, uh, what I would call part-time cohost. Real Hauntings podcast, where I know they're pretty dependable and the audience likes them, but more importantly, it's like sometimes you just instantly vibe with somebody and agreed in like this. New, well, new kind of creative space of podcasting. I think that is so important because the audience can tell pretty quick if there's no chemistry. So yeah, super happy to be here. You're an awesome person. The audience has, uh, really enjoyed getting to hear from you and hopefully hearing your podcast as well. And yeah, happy to be here.

Liz: 1:43

Well, I appreciate all the kind words and honestly, I'm really happy you mentioned like the newer space of podcasting. I didn't realize how much I needed a friend in podcasting. I didn't know how much I needed your friendship, Noah, until I met you. But it's, it is so wonderful to have that because sometimes, I don't know, I'm sure you probably feel, don't feel this way cuz you've been doing this for how many years has the real hauntings been around? Three, four, a little over three years now. Yeah. Yes. And, and, and so, You're in this space and sometimes I feel a little silly talking about it on people who are like, I mean people know what podcasts are, but they're, they don't understand what goes into it and everything. So it's been really great to kind of have that friendship and being able to like randomly text you, Hey, do you use this platform? Do you know what this app is? And, you know, know that it's totally fine. But yeah, shout out to, um, I went to high school with Kat and I remember when I launched my podcast. Like the day she was like, oh my gosh, I have a podcast. And here we are. So yeah. Anyways, um, my first question that I wanted to kind of get into this is just, uh, tell everyone about your podcast cuz it's really, really cool and it is a spooky podcast. That's what I like to call it, but it's not like, I mean, there are scary stories, but I feel like you could probably still sleep at night after listening to it for the most part.

Noah: 2:57

Yeah, it's an interesting podcast in the supernatural space. Um, I think there. A lot of different types of podcasts in that space, but most of them come down to some form of a scary story being told. A lot of'em, they just read stories off of Reddit or fans submit stories that are red. For us, when we created this, Kat, JJ and I, we wanted to have, people wanted to share their own stories, and the main reason for that is because, Especially when we all started, we were varying levels of skeptics of the supernatural. None of us were like a hundred percent in JJ being the most hardcore, skeptic of the group. Very scientific driven, data driven individual. So I think the fun for the audience and the fun for us was over this, this period of time, you really see us experience a lot of great supernatural stories from people. Starting off or just out of our friend group, really out of the comedy scene in Atlanta. And then the pandemic happens, and so we have to figure out what are we gonna do? We can't meet with these people anymore where we were recording and we were really kind of. Put into this situation that a lot of creatives were put in. Like, what do we do now? How do we still create Right? For us, the answer was Zoom, which, you know, a lot of people fell into, right. You know, whether it's, uh, with your employment or whatnot. And this opened up the whole, literally the whole world for us inviting guests on, whether it was people from Australia, Mexico, um, the uk obviously America, Canada. And we started bringing people on from Reddit. We started bringing people on from TikTok and yeah, it's, it's been a wild ride. We have heard so many stories. I think we have like 150 or 70 episodes out. We're nearing in on a million downloads now.

Liz: 4:47

Wow, that's so impressive. Snaps. Snaps for the real hauntings.

Noah: 4:52

But the biggest thing is, is like we have really transitioned from being. Pretty skeptical non-believers of the supernatural to, I will say, at least for myself, I'm ba I'm pretty much a believer now. I still. Some doubts with individual stories, but supernatural as a whole, I think there is something there. JJ has gone from like a zero to like a five if, which I think is crazy. One to 10. Yeah. And cat kind of floats between a five to seven, I would say. But yeah, it, it's been wild. We had some spooky ghost lady noise that would invade our podcast from time to time from their house. One episode, you what can. Yeah, one episode you could literally, well, or I say you, they literally heard it out loud in their room and it was really crazy cuz we were recording and they just kinda like stopped the show. And, um, that's all captured on the podcast. I didn't even hear it in real time. I didn't hear it until I went back into editing. So if you're a little skeptical, oh my gosh, I'm not sure my. Check out the podcast and, and see what you think. I knew that's the fun part. And you really get to go on that ride. You also get to work your way up to Kat and JJ getting married, which is kind a crazy thing

Liz: 5:56

that happens. I just, and that was just like the other day, or like the day, but every week a couple ago, shut out to JJ and Cat. Congrats. Um, yeah, I just wanna say everybodys. Because I have a lot of, I know I have a lot of spooky friends that I call spooky friends, but you know, friends that are into this kind of the paranormal, the other worldly. Right. And I gotta say, your catalog is so impressive because it's like almost every episode is, cause I know you get some different types of episodes, like games and different things, but your main episodes, it is a different story from a different person, which I think is incredible. Side note, just cuz I know what goes into like, coordinating and scheduling and, and getting hosts. So I think that it's just absolutely incredible and you've had some really impressive co-hosts. Not, you know, including myself, but Um, but for anybody who is into the paranormal or like. Noah's saying skeptical, check it out. Because, I don't know, it's just, it's really like, not to sound like this, but it's like real, like it's real. People telling their story. Yeah. Um, first accounts and it's not polished. It's like raw,

Noah: 6:57

you know what I mean? Yeah. It's very raw, which is, is what we wanted. We didn't wanna put, you know, scary sound effects in to influence the listeners. We wanted something where people would hopefully be yes, entertained. I mean, first and foremost, it is a podcast, but more importantly, To try to answer the big questions. For me it was, you know, what happens when we die? And I thought this was a great platform to hate to use the word investigate, but get to interview people and find out. Cuz my, my first love in creativity is interviewing, yes, I improvise comedian, but I grew up listening, you know, watching late night, I was raised by television as a, you know, kid of the nineties, grew up watching David Letterman, Conan, all these people interviewing. Um, you know, their guests and I just fell in love with that format. I think each person has something uniquely interesting about them, and yes, I get to use this supernatural platform to dig through their stories, but I also get to use it to dig through them. And it's, it's, my favorite thing is when somebody goes, wow, that's a great question. I've never thought about that. And it's because I'm hitting them with something about who they are versus the story they're telling. And, and I find that to be a lot of fun as. I think

Liz: 8:09

you're, you do a really good job at bringing that personality outta people, cuz I would say more times than not, your guests are, people are, I don't wanna say everyday people, but it, it is, you know, just your neighbor or the person on the street, or your cousin or your aunt. It's just, it's, it could be anybody, which it could be uncomfortable to talk into a mic, you know what I mean? And, and share your story. Especially sometimes they're very traumatic stories. Listen to the real hauntings to find out what I'm talking about. So I think you do a really good job at not just like managing the conversation for nerves, but also somebody who's more novice. So that, that definitely speaks to your ability to podcast and be an interviewer. So you are really into interviewing. Have you always wanted to do like pod? I guess my question is how did you get into podcasting? I didn't know that was your

Noah: 8:54

background. Yeah, so I went through a lot of growth probably. I would say from my twenties to thirties. Growing up I was, what was described as painfully shy. I was very introverted. Um, I was an athlete and I had success like playing football. I probably could have played junior college football had I pursued it, but that as much as I enjoyed the. You know, camaraderie and friendship that came along with sports. It never really felt like truly my space. Mm-hmm. um, I had like those jock friends and stuff, but my, the people I found the most interesting and, and the most enjoyment from being around in high school. Were kind of the outsiders. Yeah. Um, and that was where I felt like I fit in the most, but I never pursued that because I was kind of stuck in this other crowd to appease, you know, my family and, and whoever and, and you know, to play sports and whatnot. But I'm also from like the deep south. So that's just kind of what yeah. I was expected to. And you don't necessarily grow up knowing that there are other opportunities. For happiness and fulfillment when you're in a town of 15,000 people and there's like one way to do everything. Right. So I was also like pretty overweight then, which it was. Okay. Cuz I was playing football. I was a lineman, but I was like, I'm like six two. I was like 300 pounds. Oh geez. And then I lost about 60 pounds and went to college and then like packed it back on while I was in college. And I, full disclosure, I was in a fraternity, which I don't think I would do now, but it did help kind of get me outta my shell a little bit. Right? Yeah, that's good. To kind of start that process. And because I came from a sports world, I was able to get into quote unquote, one of the better ones. And then, um, I started dating this, um, lady that, she. Was a year younger than me and she was way more liberal, like super cool chick. And, and we just, we had a really good relationship and we, it lasted like almost all of college, um, which was great. And then that started to open my mind up seeing that like, Hey, you can be creative. You can do these things to have these other outlets, which was kind of cool. But I still. Ultimately in my shell. And then when our relationship ended, I rebounded into a marriage with somebody that I had liked when I was younger, but we were not meant for each other in any way, shape or form. She was actually the one who coined the phrase that I was painfully shy as a child, And towards the end of that, and this is gonna get more into like, I guess the personal space of who I am, but I. Kind of started to get things together. Um, at least physically. I lost about 115 pounds and got in shape and kind of discovered boxing, working out, which was fun. And then one day she told me, Hey, I'm not attracted to you anymore. Which I don't know anybody who's ever been through like a, a major weight loss journey before. It is, uh, is a great way to. Dive into body dysmorphia about

Liz: 12:02

to say, just unveil all your insecurities even once you didn't realize you had Yeah.

Noah: 12:07

Right. And, and it turned out that what she actually meant is that she was a lesbian. And I didn't know that at the time. Um, but I had suspicions cuz we'd been together for about four years. And I did not see that coming. Just fyi. Yeah. Um, and we had not slept together for about a year of our marriage, I think at the end. And Oh, just through her friend group and stuff, like, there were clues there, but you don't wanna sound like an egotistical guy being like, well, the reason wife doesn't like me is cuz she likes women or whatever, you know. So, um, it really wasn't confirmed for me until this past year really. Uh, and that was a while ago. I've been, I remarried and, and my wife and I had been together. For a while. So, anyway, so it sounds like

Liz: 12:52

you kind of had like, not an identity crisis, but any means Right. But painfully shy. We'll, we'll keep with that terminology here. Yeah. It's almost like you weren't sure of who you were, and it's like you weren't in a space where you felt comfortable to explore that.

Noah: 13:05

yeah, not only, not sure who I was, I didn't even allow myself to ask what makes me happy. I spent a lot of my time walking on eggshells, trying to make everybody else happy. Oh. And just didn't, um, Set any room aside for myself because I just thought that's what you did. I just thought you marched through life. Your whole point of life was to get married, have a family, and off you went.

Liz: 13:29

I, I remember those thoughts in kindergarten, like literally thinking I'm gonna graduate college, then get married, then have two kids, and I'll be 27.

Noah: 13:36

Absolutely. And like being from Mississippi, I thought you had to know who you were gonna marry by the time you graduated college or you were a loser. Like that's kind of the mentality. And then moving to Atlanta. I realize that's not the case. you know,

Liz: 13:50

it's like, yeah. I have to say, I thought Georgia was southern. Geez, that's pretty southern.

Noah: 13:54

And so really what happened is, my wife, now really opened my eyes to, she's really smart. She's accomplished, she had accomplished a lot at a young age. And it made me realize like, hey, you can kind of go after these things you want and you don't have to always. Be so afraid of, of taking steps. So for me, I really wanted to do standup comedy. I've always, uh, had a propensity to, you know, make people laugh, be a funny person in a friend group, but I never saw it go past that. But I've always loved standup. And then that's what got me into podcasting. I started listening to comedian. Podcast. Okay. And they really started to hone in on these long form interviews that could go from like an hour plus, right? So she convinced me to start doing improv because then I would get comfortable on stage and then to do standup if I thought that was something I wanted to do. So I, that's exactly what I did. I did stand up for a little while, but I realized to be great at that, you really gotta dedicate yourself to it. Yeah. Um, and then I found the camaraderie of improv to be a lot of fun. Ended up being cast a theater here and then that's how I met Kat and jj and I wanted to do something. We weren't on the same team, but I knew I wanted to do something with. Okay. And I really love the idea of doing a podcast because I had invested so much time in enjoying that medium. And I think for anybody out there who's trying to maybe take a different path in life for enrichment and like maybe wants to work for themself, take a look around your, your own activities. What are those activities in your life that you go to for your escapism, for your enjoyment that maybe aren't? Like watching TV or watching TikTok or, or whatever, maybe like, like bigger things that, that you find fulfillment or maybe even watching other people be fulfilled by those things and you go, well, I can never do that. Well, for me that was podcasting. And so I knew JJ was just a skeptic in general. I knew I had a ghost story from when I was a kid. Um, and Ka came on originally to produce it. And so, They all thought, yeah, this is cool. We probably all thought it'd last a couple months as improviser's projects do, and we'd all move on to our next thing, right? And it, it started out okay. We, you know, we weren't getting like a ton of traction, but we were really enjoying doing it right. And, and through trial and error and, and, and doing different things, we started to find a little rhythm and then it, we, the pandemic came and I mentioned before and we had this one guest on from TikTok who. Was having a moment. She was portraying all these supernatural activities taking place in her home where drawers were opening, cabinets were opening, purses were flying off of tables, et cetera. And to this day, I'll never know if she was manipulating that or if it really happened. But regardless, we brought her on letter teller story and we went from, gosh, I wanna say maybe getting. A hundred, well, maybe, maybe about 300 to 600 downloads a month to 5,000 a month. Oh my goodness. After that one guest. Maybe that's an exaggeration. Let's say like 2000, that, that feels a little extreme and it's probably somewhere in the middle. Right? Yeah. And, and we were able to hold onto those, Those listeners and they, and you know, people were writing positive reviews and stuff, and so we realized like, Hey, this, this thing we've got going on is kind of bigger than us. Let's, let's go, let's see where we can take this. And. The reason, I have on, you know, like, uh, guest co-hosts and stuff is cuz I love collaborating with people, but I also know that I don't want KA and JJ to ever really get like, burnt out of doing this. So I wanna provide them with enough creative space to do whatever else they want. And this always be a home for them. But yeah, things just continue to grow, um, continue to bring on guests from people that were on Ink Master to, you know, other reality of. Love is blind. Like random reality TV shows to mega influencers that have 5 million followers on TikTok, but in reality, the guests that our fans love the most are people like you and me, just, you know, us regular people. But no, I know what you mean. I that's because it brings a sense of, of trustworthiness to I agree. A field that feels. Untrustworthy. I agree. Because of everything we're kind of taught and yeah. So now we get about 30,000 downloads a month, I would say. Um, and it is just been a wild ride and one I love doing. I would love to get to a point where I don't have to edit and produce the podcast anymore, but hey,

Liz: 18:39

amen to that. You're way closer to that than I am.

Noah: 18:43

But, um, for now, Continue the status quo. But yeah, that's a long winded answer to give you a huge information dump. So,

Liz: 18:51

Well, no, I think I, I think it's a good story to tell though, because how many people can identify with one, not, not feeling like themselves. Like, and, and, and even to your point, you didn't take the time to even say, Hey, what does Noah like, what does Noah into, what does Noah wanna do? I think that's a very. Thing. You know what I mean? And then you, so you throw that in, okay, I'm just gonna follow the path. This is what I think is expected of me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And. Okay, you don't know what's out there. Then you start to find out what's out there and then it's like terrifying cuz it's different than what you've been raised and taught your whole life. And it's like, what do you do with that fear? Do you run away from it or do you embrace it and you embraced it and you're embracing it And look at the success and look at how much it's grown and where it's going and, and I don't know, I just, I have learned a lot about fear in the past couple years with my own mental health stuff. But even this past year, it's like I've learned the positive side of fear, if that even makes sense.

Noah: 19:46

I had reached out to you when we were kind of talking about this episode, and, and it kind of struck me. I was just thinking of like topics and themes of my life and I was like, you know, fear has really been my friend because I grew up so afraid of everything walking on eggshells because of, uh, parental dynamics, um, bully dynamics. Um, just everything in my. At that time, the way I was quote unquote succeeding was by falling into the shadows, not being seen, not being heard, getting through life through various forms of escapism, whether it was tv, video games, whatever, and just, just, just getting through it, getting to the next thing to the next day. And it wasn't until I got older. I realized there was some value in starting to live life as if you were the main character of your own movie, which is a theme people talk about. But, and there's a line there. I had to kind of, once I started doing that, you know, there's a line where that can get. Obnoxious. Right? Well, I'm sure. Um, and you don't want to get that far, but you do wanna remember that this is your life and maybe this is all there is to it. I don't know. You know, I mean, wet, hopefully not, but we don't know. And there are so many opportunities out there to try and find, and, and the real truth is, failure is okay. Mm-hmm. you know, you may not wanna mortgage all your bets on something where it's truly make it or break it. Even if it's that important to you, go for it. I mean, it's, you know, I used to be afraid to ride roller coasters. I used to be afraid to go and haunted houses. I used to never would've thought I could get on stage and do comedy in front of hundreds of people and make them all laugh, you know? And you start doing these things and the dominoes start falling and everything gets easier. And then here's the crazy thing for me, becoming an extrovert with introverted tendencies. I became addicted to finding something that made me afraid. Like, oh, once getting on stage and doing like improv shows in front of huge groups of people became like, I could just roll in and do it. It's like, okay, well what's the next thing? And, and one thing that still gets me sometimes is doing the podcast, oh, maybe is bringing on a big guest or being invited onto another podcast or whatever. But it's nice to, you know, I just enjoy having stakes attached to things because it keeps me really interested in what I'm doing. And there's probably some ADD stuff. Oh, I've done that. See that? You know, my reward system is probably a little messed up, but it's just, I don't know. The world is scary. You gotta live your life. You don't want to be, when it's all said and done, if you, even if you're even lucky enough to have a moment of reflection. To have regret on not doing things right. But now that doesn't mean that you get to do everything. You know, I've got a two year old now who is my whole life. He is my best friend, my buddy. And you know, you always hear parents say, well, you gotta make sacrifices. You know, if you want to be a good parent. I would tell myself, oh, I do that. I, you know, I work, um, part-time and then with the podcast, that kind of helps financially. But I was like, well, I'm doing that so I can spend more time with my kid. But then I started realizing like, well, no, instead of watching like the show, I wanna watch, I need to spend that time with him when he has something, you know, and you start to, and then that came down to eventually me really kind of stepping away from improv, stepping away from television, giving up. Some other dreams I had. So where I could focus in on being an a parent, but also focus in on this podcast because I think this is ultimately what my legacy or will lead to whatever my legacy, um, will be. So

Liz: 23:36

that was another reason why you and I hit it off is cuz I hope I don't make this sound as. Cheesy as it's kind of coming in my head, but we see the path of where we want this to go, right? Whenever I'm talking about the in between, I'm like, it's, it's a podcast now, but where I want this is, is bigger. You know? It's, it's a community. It's, it's, you know, talking, it's, um, talk show, who knows, or, or keynote speeches. It's a book. It's this, it's that. So, um, and it's fun to dream big Sometimes I feel, honestly, I, I don't feel silly or naive or immature. Often, every once in a while cuz someone will say something, you know, maybe I'll let it get to me a little bit here or there. But ultimately I love it. The sky's the limit and I have taken that fear of the unknown, the fear of not having a plan. So I was an only child. There wasn't many kids in my life, so I was by myself with the dund. That might explain a lot of my personality traits, but that's that But, I was always a dreamer. And first of course it started off just being like magical and imagination, but it just turned into what could I achieve? What could I do with my life? And it was always something grandiose. Um, and it was, you know, kind of finding your path. What does that look like? You know, went to college. Then I thought, okay, I get a job. I gotta go do this. And I kind of got back into that cog wheel mentality of gotta do this, gotta do that, gotta hit this milestone. And then I was like, wait a second. These milestones are made up. I create my own milestones and I started to, rather than be super afraid in a negative sense of the unknown and what could be of my life and what could be of my creativity, I was like, What's out there? Let me, let me question this, which was like crazy because I've always been like a planner. Like growing up I was a kid. My mom took me six flags. I was so like, mm. Some kinda way I'd be like, okay, well here's the map. We're gonna do the whole park this way because it makes more sense logically to go here, then here and then there. And heaven forbid someone try to, you know, shake up my plan. I have a meltdown kind of thing. Yeah. So I like to plan everyth. So the fear of the unknown and what that looks like, I've really embraced that. And it, again, I'm not anywhere near where you guys are with your podcast yet, but, you know, and it's hard doing it, not having those immediate results. Like, I think last, a couple weeks, uh, ago episode I talked about like the, the periods of waiting and, and, and that, and that brings up fear, like, am I doing the right thing? Is this, this makes sense. So, I know my big thing this year has been embracing the fear, embracing the unknown, and honestly, it has not failed me yet.

Noah: 26:05

Yeah, I think it's important. And also, you know, something that I know you believe in too is like you have to take care of your mental health because if that is falling behind, everything else is gonna suffer from it. Um, during the pandemic I discovered therapy and Lexipro and, um, all those. Really have helped me as well to feel a little more grounded and balanced. Um, but yeah, I, I think one big thing, and you touched on this, is always asking yourself like, what is my purpose of doing this? What are my bigger goals? And no one gets okay to think about those big goals and put them out in the world, even to like, you know, talk about'em on your podcast and, and whatnot. One, you never know who's gonna hear it, right? You never know who can help you moving forward. But also I think it's just important. And I say you, I don't, I don't necessarily mean you, but like you, the listener, um, to believe in yourself that things can become a possibility because they're gonna happen to somebody. Right. Um, and if, if, even if they don't happen, at least go on the journey and. Odds are you're gonna be better for it regardless. I was about to

Liz: 27:15

say exactly like even if, if chances are it's not where you thought you were gonna end up, you are gonna end up in a, in a great place that's perfect for you. Like, pursue those intros, pursue those dreams, really like don't hold yourself back even if it seems like no one else around you has the same idea. There is nobody in my circle, at least before I met you. Even like, thought about starting a podcast. Oh, that's cool. Like whatever. And it's a little, it's unnerving. You know what I mean? So embrace, embrace the grandiose, embrace the ambition. En embrace, I think I said grace. Embrace the, I think I may have a new word there, Um, embrace your allegiance. I bless you, You know, just find that inner theater kid and go after it, you know, be obnoxious in that.

Noah: 28:06

Yeah, I think probably the thing that I struggle with the most is that I want to feel some purpose of being validated by breaking through the zeitgeist of like the podcast, community, entertainment, whatever. And I've, I've sniffed that a couple of times. I mean, look, I'm very happy with the success we've had on the podcast, but especially with like TV stuff and things like that, I had a potential opportunity. Right before the pandemic, or, or I'm sorry. It was when the pandemic had kind of initially started and everybody thought it'd last a couple months, you know, like maybe four months. Right. I had an opportunity to potentially, um, work for the Food Network on a barbecue show, and it was to the point where the. Producer or the casting producer and I were like texting each other like baby pictures, you know? Oh, wow. Okay. Things had gone really well and it seemed like I was gonna get it, and then summer was canceled. Yeah. And the show was never made, you know, so, and I, I tell that story to say, yeah, there are unicorns that can start something and to shoot right to the top, but for most of us, it takes a lot of hard work and you have to know there are gonna be stumbles along the way. So, you know, one thing to ask yourself when those stumbles start happen, This is kind of a tangent from what I was originally talking about, but that really are moments where you're gonna learn, is this something, is this the thing I really want to pursue? Mm-hmm. Um, and if it is, don't let those stumbles hold you back. Grow from'em. Learn from'em. Yes. Try to make new connections from them. Yep. You know, they're, they're always are especially once you get into like this atmosphere of creativity. It really is surprising how many people are just looking for other people to help them move forward and, and they'll help you move forward in turn. So that's another big thing. You know, and, and I think this goes for any kind of job or anything, is just who can I help and who can help me? And then can I work together with those people to further whatever my goal is and. I do consider myself a bit of a slytherin, and I'm realizing that sounds like a very slither, Andes methodology. But I'm not saying you have to be a jerk and like sly about it. I mean, you can be upfront about, you know, I mean, it's,

Liz: 30:20

it's not working, you know, in a sense. I mean, I don't think you're being slimy at all. Cuz that's, to me, networking. I know this is like a, I'm, I'm kind of short changing with the term networking, but networking gets a bad rep in the sense stuff. It's like we are asking for a handout. It's like, well no I'm not. It's like how I can help you. You can help me. We're gonna help each other. Yeah. Um, but that's also. I am, I don't wanna say shocked, that's a little dramatic, but I'm very surprised by how many people are super uncomfortable with even doing that. And I'm sure that's part of the whole fear thing. So maybe fear is just putting yourself out there in any capacity. So from somebody like, so Noah, you being painfully shy and now look at you. You've got, yeah. How many, you said how many downloads you get

Noah: 31:05

a. About 30,000

Liz: 31:08

a month. So you get 30,000 strangers. Well, not including me and Cat and JJ listening to your podcast, the Painfully Shy, just following the path, doing what was he thought was expected of him, is now put himself out there, has a badass podcast, was such a cool concept. There's nothing else out there like it. I mean, I don't know if, I know you kind of already went into your, your story, but if you could, if you could give any advice to your younger self or that version of you in high school, what would it

Noah: 31:35

be? Stop. Can we cuss on this? Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, okay. Stop giving a fuck. Just stop. Find those avenues of enjoyment and embrace them, you know what I would've loved to have done as a child is. To go to some kind of, you know, summer camps, anywhere that I could have gotten different experiences than I was getting in rural Mississippi to learn what else was out there to better navigate my life. Once I did get older, once I got into college, I could have studied arts instead of psychology, which, look, I'm grateful for my psychology degree, but I'm not using it. you know, it, it's. It's like I thought I had to be on this exact path because there was one path to success and it was the one that was being dictated to me and I wasn't good at that path. Now I have managed to carve out a life for myself that works, and I'm still living part of that old life, so where I can live the new life, and that's just. It's just the way it worked out, and that's okay. There are people that have it, you know, way worse. So I, I'm not, you know, that's fine. And that's part of life too. But yeah, my younger self is just believing yourself. Quit being so hard on yourself about things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of thing. You know, I, um, I was like a late bloomer. I didn't really get my first girlfriend until I was like 18. Uh, you know, everything was like a little later, but I think it was. I was stuck in the stunted shyness of trying to navigate a world that was too adult for a young person. I had to grow up really fast, and I think that stunted my growth in other areas. Um, I mean, I had friends and stuff, so it's not like I was like some troll kid, you know? I wasn't very caught or locked in the closet. But, um, but yeah, it's just, I think there's so much time loss. Worrying about everybody else, it can create so much anxiety worrying about that failure. What do I look like? What, you know, who am I trying to appe? When in reality there's really attainable goals out there. It's just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other. Absolutely. Trying things out, trying things out, trying things out. And then things will start to stick and then you start to see your friend group change a little bit and you start meeting people and being in rooms you had no business being in and and, and in, you know, something we haven't really touched on, but it's on the same. Is imposter syndrome. That is something I really struggled with once I did start having a little success, and I still consider what's happening now, a little success, but it is imposter syndrome.

Liz: 34:16

Oh, I talk about that a lot on here. So you're in the right place, sir.

Noah: 34:19

Yeah, and I mean, and that's a real thing that if you can turn that imposter syndrome to. Hey, guess what? Everybody else feels like that in here too, right? You know, that's the big secret. Once you get to know some of these people that are way above where you are, you start to realize, oh, they're kind of the same as I am. You know, they've had, they've got talent, I'm sure, but they've had some nice breaks along the way and they've been able to ride that to where they. And that's all any of us really want. Right? It takes some talent, takes a lot of hard work, and it takes a break and then it's kind of what you do with it from there. Um, exactly. So, yeah, I don't know. I apologize. I can get a little long

Liz: 35:03

winded. No, I loved all of that. I was like, just thinking that was a message that I needed for myself. I think just, just the reminder of, you know, it takes time and it takes effort. And not that I was in denial of that. Everything that you're saying, we also live in the world of insta gratification, which I think also really plays into that too. But imposter syndrome is something that I'm pretty certain I'm gonna always deal with because as soon as you accomplish one goal, you're gonna have a new goal, right? There's new stakes, there's a higher, there's higher stakes, it's new ambitions, it's new dreams, new goals, blah. So it's like imposter syndrome, two point. 3.0. So, but to your point, you're right. Like we're all on the same journey in the sense of we're all kind of faking it out here, like figuring things out, trying new things. And we can't give you the scientific method. I can't give you the one plus one equals two way of saying this. But when you focus on something, you start your path. One foot in front of the other. Things do happen. They do. Sometimes they happen really quick and you boom, boom, boom. You got some pops, then maybe you have a lull. But stick with it. And I think that's the hardest part. So I really liked what you said earlier about. Pay attention to things that, that ignite you, that like light you up, that, that give you this sense of, I need like this drive. Um, because in those moments when it is hard, when you're only getting 30 downloads an episode or this or this, or life's just beating you up and you're like, okay, I gotta go record this podcast that only like a couple people listen to. It's hard, but. Because that passion's there and ultimately the dream is there and, and where I wanna go. It's what gets me up and, you know, each day kind of thing. Yeah, no, for sure. It, it helps push you. So I don't know, as much as I talk about mental health and this or this, or being overwhelmed having this podcast as my creative outlet, I didn't realize how much I needed that. So I also feel like everyone needs to creative outlet and, you know, maybe it's take this episode for you to question maybe what, what does that look.

Noah: 36:54

Yeah. And you know, it's, I, I think you're very much on the right path. I have, like I said, co-hosted with a lot of people and I, I love them all, but some people are just better at it than others. And so it's always a delight to have you on and, and even see you take the, I was gonna say the stick, I don't know. Do people say that? Uh, take the will talking stick. Yeah. And drive the podcast. Um, because you've got a natural intuition. Into interviewing and curiosity, which is a lot of fun too. And I think being curious, that's one thing that I've always had is a big curiosity with life. Yeah. You know, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why? Same.

Liz: 37:35

Why am I here? Why am I existing? I remember being like five years old having an next existential crisis. What is me? What is this? Why? Who am I? Yeah. I remember that. I actually was just talking about to my husband the other day, and he was like, Liz, I think everybody, everybody feels that. I was like,

Noah: 37:51

You have this crisis to five years old maybe. You seem pretty calm, sir. Um, yeah, yeah. I'm over here. It's, yeah, I don't know. I mean, there's a lot of joy to be pulled outta life, it's just, I, I have always had this belief, and I mean, this is a little more morbid, but even if you're lucky enough to live a hundred years and let's. 85 to 90 of those are pretty great. I still think that's a pretty short life. Oh yeah. It's a blip. And, and you know, there are a lot of people that feel the other way and, and, and, and bless them because that must be a much more comfortable mental place to be Uh, because I would love to get a lot of do-overs and really see how far I can push this thing, you know? But I'm, where I am, I'm. Learning to be satisfied with the good things that have happened. That's a hard thing for me, but I also think that's a reason that I have found success in some avenues because it is really hard for me to be satisfied with accomplishments. But yeah, I mean, the biggest thing is, is just, you know, fuck what everybody else says. Yeah, do the thing you've gotta do. Hurt other people and what you don't you need to do, you're not condoning that Yeah. But be productive and. We live in a time and we have for a while where you can pretty much find out how to do anything you want to do. You know, it's a matter of sitting down and taking in that information, which is somebody that has a d d I find really hard sometimes, which it's like you, maybe it helps me a lot more when I can find somebody who's doing the thing and then be willing to say, okay, do these five things and it'll make your life a lot easier.

Liz: 39:35

Yes, I need, that's what you have done for me in, so like, in such like a huge capacity. I, I. I prob, I'm one of those people with my add that I have to make my to-do list like every day. And I will tell you, most of the time it's the same thing from the day before because I don't know, I just can't focus to save my life. But in terms of like the podcast, it being like my baby, right? And where I wanna go and grow, you'd think I would be eat, sleep, breathing, you know, shitting everything, this podcast. I can't cause N D d, it's too

Noah: 40:05

much. It's not the way it works. And for me, I find comfort in the chaos. And I think a lot of that, I think a lot of comedians do. Um, Even when I start to get comfortable, I just create more chaos. Now that has really tamed down the older I've gotten, but it's still a part of my dna. So it's like that's something, uh, I think else that is really important is really getting to know yourself. Yes. Ask yourself the hard questions, even the ones you don't want to answer. Cuz guess what? You're the only one that's hearing those questions. Absolutely. And I will say a hard truth is, And you may discover this through therapy or self work or whatever. I guess that's kind of the same thing. You may start to get the answer to those questions. You may start to even know. Why you do the things you do that impact you negatively. And guess what? That still doesn't fix everything. you may still do those negative things, but at least you know why. And hopefully over time you can, uh, make those more productive parts of your life. But you know, it is just part of getting older. I'm in my mid thirties now and I think that's a, I think it's very normal to question a lot of things. As you go through your thirties, as you look back at. What really feels like this big gap of time. Yeah. Where you have had your origin story. Right. You know, and a lot of people have a lot of different stories to tell. Um, which is why I love interviewing them and getting as much of it as I can out of it. So. Well,

Liz: 41:29

the people that you interview definitely have interesting backgrounds, like such a, such a variety, like some very tragic, some holy shit. Are you okay sir? And some like, wow, that's absolutely incredible. Yeah. One thing I wanna say that you were talking about earlier is just, you know, having to be comfortable and okay with like, your accomplishments and satisfied with that and, and the pace of what it's going. But I mean, the growth journey you were on, I think is so impressive. And sure it would've been nice if it happened 10 years ago or 15, 15, 20 years ago, but it's what led you to who you are right in this moment and. You're pretty freaking awesome and the success shows. So you know, maybe you wish you were somewhere in a different place, sooner in your life. But I also feel like you are going to be more rewarded and see more success now because you've done the self work and I just think self work is so important. So I'm really glad that you talked about even your own frustrations, but also highlighted that because I talk about that a lot. Self-love, self-worth, if you don't love yourself. Things are gonna be a lot harder for you because loving yourself is what allows you to forgive yourself. Like you were saying, like you go to therapy, you learn these things, you learn how your behaviors work, what, what triggers it, what's this? And guess what? You're still gonna spiral. Sometimes you're still gonna negative stuff talk. You're still gonna be an asshole to yourself sometimes, but, You bounce back quicker, you recognize it easier, you emotionally regulate quicker, you get back to ground zero versus, you know, a thousand feet in the air. So yeah, I really appreciate your insight. Um, it was cool to get a different side of you in this sense of, you know, just the vulnerability and your origin story as you said, um, as you so epically said So I appreciate that cuz I think this was a really good conversation of. you can always change. You can always grow. If you're not happy with who you are. If you think there's more out there, start questioning it and pursue that path. So, But I do have a request for you. Um, because you're such a spooky guy and you have such a spooky podcast, I feel like I'd be giving my listeners a disservice if you didn't share. I don't know if you have any, if you wanna share your personal, like the one that made you start the real hauntings. I don't know if you have any recent stories. Do you feel like somebody's following you now that you've done 150 something episodes?

Noah: 43:48

Um, yeah. So. Of course there are a lot of stories to share from the podcast, uh, from people that have been on up until recently. I had only had one experience that I, I'm still not sure if I, I know I have the memory. I know there are other people that have the memory, so I guess somewhat logically it must have happened. But I'll give you a very short version of that story cuz I wanna jump into what happened over, uh, Halloween in Vegas. Oh gosh. But, but basically the, the short version of that story is, At my friend's house, I was 12. We played hide and go seek with him and his sister and her friend that were a couple years younger than us, like maybe a year or two younger than us. And the version we played, you turned off all the lights in one room person, was it? They tried to find the people that were hiding and you could kind of jump out and scare him when you know were kids. Oh God. And so, yeah, so I was, uh, I was it. I came. And I saw one of them run across the room, kind of like, you know, once your eyes adjust at dark Yeah. You can kind of see a little better. Absolutely. And so I was gonna be a jerk and I went Aha. And like was gonna hit'em with my arm to like tag'em or whatever, and my arm went right through them. Oh. And they're. Their quote station marks, uh, turned their head around and looked at me, and it looked like a jaw from Star Wars with little reflective ice. We all screamed. We all ran outta the room. I found the lights in the other room and never talked about it again. Fast forward 15, 20 years, I asked my friend about it. He was like, yeah, I think about it all the time. I talk about it with my sister all the time. So, oh my God. So that was kind of the, that's the first episode of real hauntings, real ghost stores. Um, um Okay. But never played hide, stick again. Got it. Yeah. Um, but so I say that to say that a couple weekends ago, my wife and I went to, Vegas for the, when we were Young Music Fest. Oh, that was up at, I bet. Mm-hmm. It was a lot of fun, and we went to the one that was over Halloween weekend, so we got there Thursday. That Thursday night we went to Fremont. Had a lot of fun. That Friday night we went to The Palms to a Halloween party. It was eighties and nineties. Theme costume party. We both dressed up as Beetle juice Killer costumes. We love cosplay, so we did like the paint on our face. You know, everything. And then we went back and of course we had drank and had fun as adults do at a Halloween party. In Vegas. In Vegas. Yeah, of course. And so we were staying at Mandalay Bay, which of course, you know, has its own trauma, um, from not too long ago. Um, yeah. And went, went to bed. Um, I am a notorious light sleeper, and in full disclosure, I have had sleep paralysis a couple times. I've only ever seen a spider drop down from the ceiling. It rarely happens anymore, but um, yeah. Wow. So I woke up in the middle of the night and it was like three in the morning. I looked over and to my surprise, there was a little boy staring right back at me. And he was clearly not alive. Oh, he was not in full color, but he wasn't completely gray either. It was like a tone of gray, I guess I would call it. And he was just staring at me and he was not dressed from our era, um, that was clear. And he was from an older generation, uh, looked weathered, um, and was just staring. And we made eye contact and I, oh my. My first thought was, this must be sleep paralysis. So I closed my eyes as hard as I could. rolled over, and then I realized, well, I can't roll over during sleep paralysis, so what the fuck is going on And so I rolled back over and I said, it's not gonna be there when I open my eyes. This is just like some weird, I'm still dreaming kind of thing. Oh no. And he was still there. Oh. I was like, what the fuck? And so I was really starting to panic and I closed my eyes again and then I looked back at him and I could still see all of this in my mind's eye cuz it was so recent. Um, and it's like all I've been thinking about recently, but, um, oh my gosh. Open my eye again thinking, okay, must be gone. I'm just, you know, late night, whatever. And now a very fatherly figure is standing behind him with his hand on his shoulder from the same era that this kid is from. Also doesn't look alive, looks very weathered, not completely in color. More of like a gray tone. Oh my God. And my first thing I wanted to do was shit the bed. But I, yeah, know that my wife would appreciate that. She is a full on skeptic, so I knew there would not be fruitful to wake her up. So I did, as many people on the podcast have stated, which I never fully understood until this moment. I rolled over, closed my eyes, pulled the covers over my head, and went to sleep and I always thought that was a strange or interesting response to a very traumatic moment. But I felt like a little kid being scared by Ghost and that's what happened. It was very clear to me that, and I didn't see'em again after that interest. It was very clear to me that they weren't there to harm me. I felt like, uh, Phish and an aquarium, they were just there. Um, and on a recent episode, we kind of talked about this on the podcast and I had on um, another frequent guest cohost. Her name is Catherine. She is a medium that has been on a lot, and she told me, She was getting a very 1850s Mormon vibe from these spirits. And I was like, holy shit. Completely Mormon. A hundred percent the way they were dressed. Um, interesting. And, and it's, that is also a very spooky thing as somebody who didn't grow up believing in psychics or mediums. And I will say we have had a decent amount on the podcast and not all of them. Do I put, you know, stock into, but there are some that, uh, will. Say things to guests and the guests will just start crying instantly. Like, whoa. Saying like, did your dad, was he a heavy drinker? And would he crush beer cans after he would drink each can? And was it Bud Light? And the guest just starts crying instantly because Oh, geez. You know, things that they couldn't know even if they scoured the internet about the guest. Right. Um, so yeah, that, uh, that really creeped me

Liz: 50:17

out. I'm creeped out and I didn't even happen to me. So that's great.

Noah: 50:23

And I, I keep seeing it in my head and I don't know what to do with that. So, um, yeah, and I, I'm not like a real spooky person. I, I'm not like a goth looking person. No, you're not Pretty normal looking dude. I, I love sneakers. I've got a huge sneaker collection. I love fashion. Um, I, I, you know, I have grown to really enjoy the supernatural community, and now I have a lot of friends, or you know, a handful of like people, I consider friends from that community who are like very goth, spooky, what have you. But that's not really my road that I walk. And to have something that felt truly undeniable happened, I don't know what to make. So yeah, if you enjoyed that story, tune in to more real haunt.

Liz: 51:08

Real ghosting. I would just say, Noah, on that note, I mean, I'm hanging by a thread. I'm sure everyone else is. Yeah. So where can they, where can everyone find you? Where can they listen?

Noah: 51:16

Sure. So you've heard us refer to the podcast as real hauntings. That is the name of the podcast. For search purposes. The full name is Real Hauntings. Real Ghost Stories because when we first started the podcast to help trick the SEO and the search engines and whatnot, I needed something to give us an edge over other ghost podcasts. So we kept that in. But you know, you found the right podcast when you see. The little ghost wearing headphones of the blue background Um, that is real hauntings, but pretty much you can just type real hauntings into any podcast search engine. And it should be, you know, one of the first ones that pop up. Um, you can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Real Hauntings podcast. That's an easy way to get to our link tree. Uh, we do post on both of those. We post on Instagram every week. TikTok. Kind of here and there. We use it more for booking purposes, but we do have content on there and I'm starting to push more content out as things go. Um, and you can always email us at real hauntings podcast gmail.com. But any of those sources, email, Instagram, TikTok. If you want to come on and share your ghost story, please reach out. People will wait. Over a year to let me know they wanna come on the podcast and I will literally book them that week to come on. So you hear that people come on. Yeah. How long? Guess what guys? Not everybody has ghost stories, so it's a huge help when you reach out and say, I have a ghost story. Uh, I am very appreciative of that. Yeah, it's opened up a whole new world for me. It's a delight. My big dream is to be able to tour the podcast because I do love doing live comedy, live interviews. We've gotten a taste of that recently at a ghost convention in Atlanta, so that was kind of fun. That's cool. But yeah, I uh, I remember seeing that. Yeah, that, that, so that's, that's the direction I want to take things. But honestly, wherever it goes from here, I'm just gonna keep pushing forward. Uh, I love getting to meet people like you and have new friends to also pull for in this crazy, wild west world of podcasting. I fully believe if your parents still don't know what the entertainment medium is, then there's opportunity there to get in it and make a

Liz: 53:20

name. Absolutely. Absolutely. Podcasting so hard. Like I've read so many statistics that people give up like after six or seven episodes. Yeah. So there you may see things that say there's a million podcasts, but guess what? How many active podcasts are there? So, come on, join us. We need more friends. At least I do

Noah: 53:37

No, I'll take them too.

Liz: 53:38

For sure. Oh, well thank you so much for coming on, Noah. Um, would love to have you come back. I'm sure we can get into some very existential deep life questions for sure. Episode title, why, and we'll just go from there. Right, right. Enjoy that spiral. Um, well anyways, thank you all for listening. Again, you can check out Noah, the Real Hauntings podcast, real hauntings, real stories, and, um, I'll make sure to link all your good stuff, your social media, and your podcast links in the show notes. Without further ado, thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time.

54:09

I'm your host Elizabeth Cheney. And this is the in-between podcast by.