In-Between: Embracing My Delulu Era

I'm back and scuba certified - LOL. This week's in-between is catching up on all the life stuff going on, filling you in on the scuba certification experience (I know that is the most random thing ever), the home search (iykyk *cries*), and some exciting guests I have planned for the coming weeks. I'm also (finally) embracing my "delulu girl" era, otherwise known as delusional confidence. Who says I can't? It doesn't matter as long as I say I can. Cheesiness aside, this week's in-between is talking about that delusional confidence and addressing the question, why do we struggle with the constant feelings of guilt and pressure to DO DO DO when we need a break? Why does productivity guilt interfere when we need alone time? Why is it that when we need rest, our mind's make us feel like we don't deserve it? I don't have the fool-proof solution or answer to these questions, but I think today's convo around them will help. Remember, the most important voice is the one you have with yourself. 

Check out today's episode and embrace your delusional era too! 

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Transcript

Elizabeth: 0:06

Hey, welcome back to an all new episode of the in between podcast. I'm your host, Elizabeth Cheney. Wow. Another week. We're closer to the end of the year. I don't know how that makes everybody else feel, but I am one part excited because we all know I love this time of year, season wise. Also the holidays, uh, which I know can be kind of touchy for some people, but, uh, you know, we're, we're definitely getting towards my favorite time of the year. Well, not even getting towards we're here. But, I'm now starting to also feel the pressure of like, hey, Where's those goals that you, you set for the beginning of the year and, um, not to get too much into that because I'm sure we will do an episode closer to the end of the year going through goals and shifting perspectives and expectations. Um, I mean, just a few episodes ago I did the mid year, which was really the three quarter year check in, and that highlighted a lot of things for me, and not that I have fallen off the bandwagon or anything like that, but I just meant to say, yeah, I'm starting to feel kind of the pressure, um, and we'll, we'll tap into that in a little bit, um, a little bit more. Um, not so much the pressure, but why why do we have anxiety, um, productivity, guilt, shame, if you will, if we're not constantly flooding ourselves with productivity, activities, to do's, um, if you're any, if you're anything like me, which I'm sure a lot of us are similar, but I feel A lot of guilt and pressure when I, I feel like I'm not utilizing my free time. Um, and oftentimes that stunts me. Go figure. Hmm, funny how that all works. Um, but anyways, before we get into all of that in today's episode, I just wanted to say, hey, how's it going? And give you a few updates of what's going on in my world. So first and foremost, I know last week's episode was really short because, well, your girl got a crick in her neck, which, if that doesn't scream 30, then I don't know what does. I'm sure a lot of things, but I, good news is my neck is okay. At least for how good my neck can be. Um, Other than like, you know, the ongoing issues I have since my car accident, but you know what? That's okay. That's okay. Nothing some massage and constant Stretching and things like that can't help with but other news Me and Stan did get scuba certified. I know Incredibly random. Everyone's like, So where are you going? Are you planning a trip? Like, why? Because it is incredibly random. Not that I don't enjoy adventure and exploration, but I am definitely not someone that's like at the ocean 24 7, surfing on a boogie board, whatever you want to call it. Um, So it's like, Why are you getting a scuba certified? So, not even to get into all that, it was a request from Stan's father. I'm not even going to touch that can of worms. That's a whole other conversation. But, no, there is no trip planned. This was truly just marking off a to do and trying to get it off our list and not have it hanging over our head. But, all of that aside, Um, just want to tell you guys the experience. First off, it is late October, so getting a SCUPA certified this time of year, don't recommend. At least, unless you're somewhere in the Caribbean where the water is warm. The water was pretty cold, even in a wetsuit. Um, eventually you get used to it, especially as you go deeper into the water, your body kind of, you Adjusts to the temperature, but very, very cold, very cold. So we were in Bumblefuck, Alabama. Uh, no hate, no shade. It just literally was in the middle of nowhere. Um, like honestly when we pulled into, cause it was a quarry that we were getting scuba certified in. When you pull in it's like, hmm. Have people died here? Because it's definitely somewhere you'd think someone would drag a body. But it's, it's a legit establishment, so I shouldn't talk smack. Uh, but anywho, we get our equipment, we're there, and everyone that's in our group to get certified, they're like, oh, we didn't see you at the pool training last week because you have to do like a contained pool training first before you can do an open water certification dive. And we're like, Oh, yeah, we did it like a year ago, but life be lifing and, uh, we just didn't get to it today or, you know, the rest of this year. So we're just fitting it in right at the tail end of the season. So that was interesting. I guess most people do their pool training and then they go get their scuba certification. Anywho, leave it to me and Stan just to be a little different. But you know, I've been dealing with sinus issues since before we went to Italy. And they're not as bad as they were, but they're still not a hundred percent and not even to get off topic, but I do think some of my neck issues contribute to, like, or helping contribute to the sinus problems. Maybe I should see, like, a specialist. Let me just add it to the never ending to do list. But anyways, um, I really wasn't thinking that was going to be too much of an issue because I'd taken Zyrtec that day, whatever, whatever. And the reason I bring this up is not to get too in the weeds because I don't want this episode to turn into like a scuba training session because I know we're all foaming at the mouth for that. But when you are going down in the depths, you have to do what they call equalizing, which is basically where you like kind of squeeze your nose and you blow with your mouth closed. Obviously it's to get your ears to pop. So it's. Equalizing the pressure in your ear. So your, you know, eardrum doesn't rupture because nobody wants that. Well, you can see how if you are congested and you're, you know, Your ear, was it ear ducts? Ear tunnels? I don't even know what the heck that's called. Um, hopefully you know what I'm saying here. But if those are clogged, you can see how that would potentially be a problem if you were trying to scuba dive. Mm hmm hmm hmm. So, the first day we do like all of our skills checks, get like most of the dives out. So the second day is your final dive, which is more so just You swimming at 25 to 30 feet the more fun dive less skills focused and just let's see what you learned And let's have some fun kind of thing, right? So first day fine did all the stuff great great great great Woke up the next day and I was feeling a little congested but nothing out of the normal So I took my zero tech whatever here we go. So as we all start to embark on our scuba diving journey I am going to the depths, like going, I'm going down and I am not equalizing and I'm starting to feel the pressure in my ear. I mean, I feel it so much it's starting to affect my tooth. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this cannot be happening. I'll be damned if we've spent this money. We are in bumblefuck Alabama. I have gotten this far. And I'm not gonna be able to finish my dive because my freaking sinuses are like, not today, girl. Not today. So I do all the hand signals to suggest to my buddy aka Stan. Hey, we need to go up. Something's up. The dive master is like checking in and he's really cool, really chill. And I'm like, I don't understand what's going on. I'm really sorry. So he takes the rest of the team. They go do their dive. And we're just like floating on top, and I'm just like cursing, like, Whoa, God, here we are in this cold water, all the way here, and of course I'm feeling guilty, like what if Stan can't do his certification because of me? Well, anywho. The rest of the group finishes their dives, the dive master comes to us and he's like what's going on? And I tell him and I'm like I feel so embarrassed because I mean I was like this is scuba diving and it's not It's not that it's not hard per se, but it is very annoying that this is gonna Be the thing that prevents me from finishing this up and having to come back and do something so he explains to me that When you were as much as we were diving the day before it can kind of get all the gunk if you will in your head, especially the sinus issues I'm moving and rocking around so it's possible that even despite taking a Zyrtec, which they're not, they don't recommend, but it's just because they can't obviously give health advice because they're not health care providers. Um, but it's kind of like one of those wink wink under the table type suggestions, um, which I was going to take it anyway because I don't want to be miserable with my sinuses, duh. Um, but he, he was saying, you know, let's, let's, you know, if you're up for it, we can try it again. You know, I just got to, this is the last thing you got to do is going to make sure that you can handle going to 25, 30 feet, do like a safety stop, which I'll spell your those details, it's just to make sure like you don't, you know, implode or with nitrogen or extra gases as you come to the top when you're at different depths. So I'm like, all right, I like pray to the universe. I'm like, come on, universe, God, just. Pull through like rally for this time so we go and I'm not quite equalizing like I am doing the the Action of equalizing by not feeling my right ear pop, but it's working. I'm not feeling Like my eardrum's getting crushed. So we do it, we do it, and as we are finishing up, all of a sudden I'm looking at my oxygen gauge and it's like in the red zone. Have no idea what happened. Well, I do have an idea. I think that when Stan was helping me get my, my stuff on my back, he accidentally turned the dial a little bit on the oxygen tank, so it was just not, for lack of better words, half closed. But anyways, I'm like, oh my god! Now I'm running out of oxygen! Am I gonna finish this frickin dive or not?! Do the hand signals. I don't freak out because, I mean, I'm surrounded by Stan and the Divemaster. So, worst case scenario, I need to just use some of their oxygen. That's fine. Get to the top. Long story short, we are SCUBA certified. We did it. Gosh darn it. Should we have? I don't know. Maybe. But, the Divemaster was like, Hey. I'm really impressed with your hand signaling and you not freaking out being such a novice new scuba diver So way to go. So I feel like I got brownie points So that was a super long winded way to say we're scuba certified. Yippee. Do we have any trips planned? No Am I a little nervous for next time I go if these sinus issues aren't cleared up? Um, yeah, because you need to equalize or else you can't do this damn thing. So good times good freaking times. Oh My gosh, but I kept asking, I was like, if my, if my eardrum ruptured, I'd feel it, right? Right? Right? Like, am I, I'm starting to like gaslight myself. So we're still good. We are good. But that is the tale of the scuba. I know you were all just anxiously waiting to hear that update. So she, she went, she suffered, but she came back a scuba diver. And that's, that's the word. Um, okay. But any who, um, let's see other updates. We are still looking for a house. It is, I don't even know how to address the subject. It is, I keep calling it the Wild Wild West. I feel like once this process is over, because you know we're going to manifest that there is a home at the end of this journey, Um, I'm sure I'll recap all of it. All I can tell you is for anybody that is currently looking for a house or dealing with this insane environment that we are in, My heart is with you. I'm giving you a hug. We are all banded together. It is insane. Um, one thing I will say is just the way in which, the way in how everything affects each other, like what drives interest rates up, what drives this, what drives that, what drives this, money, this, that, it is, it is all just, I'm just gonna be honest, absolute bullshit. I mean, I'm gonna go out and tell you, credit scores, I feel like, are bullshit. It's crazy that your credit score is affected so heavily if people look into your credit because, well, you're applying for a mortgage. You are opening a new credit card, because I did that earlier this year. Um, it's just, ugh. I don't know enough to really get on a soapbox about it, but don't worry, your girl is really starting to learn because you kind of have to in this whole process. And let me tell you, the system is fucked. The system is not, not set up for the, the, the, the, the, me, the buyer. Um, maybe if I had Daddy Warbucks paying my bill and I didn't have to worry about anything because I could just buy the whole house with cash. Tch. Yeah, sure, you're not going to really care. This is not a problem. But for us normal, average people, um, yeah, it's some bullshit. It is some bullshit. But, I'm not giving up because we want to buy a house. Now, understand your girl, we're not going to go into some stupid situation. We are being smart about this. Um, but, it's a lot. So, I've already cried twice. God. And that's what everyone said. Oh, it's, it's an emotional journey. And I'm like, how emotional can it be? We, it's just the facts have been emotional, let alone like trying to find a home and then finding out if you can't get it or you can get it having gotten that far. So all that to say, learning a lot. Pray for me. If you're going through it, I'm praying for you. We will get through this one way or the other. And the system is rigged. Um, yeah. It's just, you know, it's interesting, um, not that I know the facts, because I just told you, like, I don't know enough to get really comfortable with my soapbox, but it's interesting, like, one of the things Rolando was saying, that something about the amount of debt that the U. S. has also contributes to interest rates, um, like, great, so America's spending problem is screwing me in the ass, love that, but, you know, that's a whole other conversation, and just talking about what is the U. S. Government and economy at the moment. It just seems all like a circus. Seems like a circus. So we have an election year coming up. Can't wait for that. So there, there is that. But you know what? I'm adapting this new mindset. I, it's not new. It's definitely been trending for a while, but I, and I think I've even talked about a little bit on the podcast, but the delusional mindset, the delusional girl, that dilulu, which sounds funny, but I still kind of love it. I am just going to be delusionally confident that this housing is going to work out. Sure. I cannot predict the path. I cannot confirm or, or, or say when it's going to happen, but I'm going to just. Keep walking the path one foot from the other and expect the unexpected because that's how it's been thus far and it's going to work out. So be delusional. And on that note, being delusional, I've also been exercising this mindset even more so lately. You know, I've been working on a website, quote unquote working, because that is just a complete undertaking that I was very unprepared for. Um, I'm still in the stages of trying to research and understand what in the hell I can do with this template. As in, what does this container do? What does that element do? Yeah, I'm definitely out of my comfort zone. Um, you know, haven't quite thrown in the towel yet, but we're getting close. I'm just kidding. But anyways, I had this in my head like, all right, I want to get this together so I look a little more professional so I can start pitching myself to guests. Sorry if this is like a broken record because I feel like I've talked about this almost every episode, but I finally was like, I am tired of working so hard and being proud of my content and not not pitching myself to other guests and having them come on and getting their Their expertise getting their their opinions on things their vibes their brands whatever their voices and vice versa because hello I'm doing this because I feel like I have some value to add to the world if not make it a more fun and better place you know and I said screw it because there was a few podcasts that I've been wanting to reach out to some pretty much on my level Some maybe a little bit newer and then some that are a little bit farther ahead Not quite super intimidating out of my reach like Heather McMahon. Although side note manifesting that collab one day, but you know they're popping off but I, I still feel a little like maybe I'm not too, too, you know, too small on my big britches to reach out. And I said, screw it. Screw the website. I'm going to reach out because you know what? Why not? I'm going to bet on me. I deserve this. I'm delusional. Delulu. And I can tell you, guess what? The podcast that I'm talking about has agreed to a pot swap. So Actually, I've reached out to a few podcasts. So I have three pod swaps in the works. On top of having Dr. Bhavna Singh coming on the pod in a few weeks, um, we are going to talk about all things hormones, gut health, and fertility. And that's just like part one. We had a planning session yesterday and we talked about all the things. And let me tell you, She is a wealth of knowledge and I cannot wait to have her on the pod. So be on the lookout for more prompts and things like that. Cause I'd like to know what you, what you want to know. What are your questions? Like I said, I think it was last episode. This is going to be free advice to you. Okay. Okay. Um, free advice to us really. Cause like I'm getting a lot out of this myself. So if you have any questions related to that, I'd love to know and love to hear them. So hit me up on the Instagrams at in dot between pod. But. So, all that said and done, be delusional. Be delusional in your house search, be delusional in your pitching yourself to other podcasts and getting them to come on your pod and vice versa, and just... Tell your imposter syndrome to screw it. This is this is your moment. You've had the imposter syndrome moment You've had the self doubt and it's time to get off the hamster wheel and just walk the path, baby And that is the energy we are bringing to the rest of the year. Okay? Okay, so delusional. Yes Yes, yes. Yes another thing I saw around the internet, you know, we, I, I kind of, I haven't had as much fast facts around the web, which I can't believe I keep calling it that still, but I honestly have not come up with anything more creative, I guess, in between the interwebs, but why does that sound like a 2003 TV show? I don't know. It just seems a little awkward, but whatever. Uh, I did see this interesting headline or news story that California passed a bill recently to, um, it's basically going to start teaching, uh, students in high school workplace readiness, like teaching them worker education so they know their rights. And this is in an effort to combat child labor exploitation. And I'm just like, wow, I didn't even know that we were still worried about that. But... Of course we are, because nothing's perfect in this world. Um, but it, I don't know, it was just, it was really cool, because like, I don't know if you're like me, um, if you're a millennial, I'm going to assume you probably have had this thought or heard somebody say this, but I don't know how many times I've thought, man, I wish I would have learned more practical life skills in high school, not just like, random shit that I've never used in my life. Yeah, like your taxes, budgets, just how to, like what is inflation exactly? Understanding how the government really works, not just reading a bunch of slides about U. S. history. I digress, but I, it's cool to see And I mean, I'm sure there are political undertones to this, but I'm not even, I'm ignoring those, I'm just talking about like the fact for what it is. I think it's awesome to see like actual life education being instilled in schools in high school at that age because I think it's only going to prepare you even better for the world. Because to say I felt a little like, oh, wow. This is not at all what I thought when I entered the real world. That would be an understatement. Um, and I feel like ever since graduating from college, even before then, but just graduating, it's just been a rat race to keep up with what I feel like I have to do to fit into society. Which, one could argue, or not even one could argue, that is probably a different conversation and probably something I should talk to my therapist about. Why do I not feel like I'm an adult? Um. Imposter adult. And you know, I know a lot of people feel that way. I've heard that when you have kids it kind of goes away, but, you know, that's still a few years off for me, so I'm like, great, am I just going to feel like a child until then? Just kidding, I am working on it. Delusional mindset. I am a delusional adult. But anywho, California passed this bill and it's going to be a workplace readiness week, um, to high schoolers to help combat child labor exploitation. So. Interesting. Very cool. Very cool stuff there. Um, so, let's see. What else? Oh, side note. I meant to ask this earlier when I was talking about the delusional mindset. Are emojis still cool? Is that like in a millennial thing? I know I've seen on the internet and like the social media about certain emojis no longer being cool, but I've noticed whenever I talk with the younger generation, the Gen Z's, not that I'm old, but I've noticed they never use emojis, and I do use emojis. So I've definitely like, you know, reversed a little bit on my emoji usage, but I'm starting to wonder. Are they not cool? I really like emojis, they're super expressive and it can really like, you know, get the emotional or the intended emotional reception that I'm trying to convey in my text message efficiently. So if emojis are no longer cool, I'd like to speak to your manager because I want to know like, why did that happen? Wow. I feel really lame for even saying that. I feel really lame for saying that. I will say one of my girlfriends sent me a Tik TOK that was like the gen Z slang. How do we keep up? And this was like. I don't know, a generation or two above mine, so this is like people who have like teens, early 20s, uh, 20 year old children, and I have to say, I knew most of the slang they were talking about. So, hm, humble brag, maybe I'm not as old as I think. However, I don't get the cap no cap thing. So if anyone wants to give me a Venn diagram, a, a, a PowerPoint explanation of what that means and used in multiple contexts, I would appreciate it. Uh, fam. Oh. Oh my god. Um, but anyways. So I, I started today's, or at the top of the episode I was talking about, The pressure we put on ourselves, this and this, expectations, and I know this is kind of a conversation I bring up often, um, it's not like this is the first time, but I was talking to a girlfriend who is currently on bed rest, um, just some back issues, and she's also a new mom, her baby was born earlier this year, um, late spring, and we were talking about the guilt we feel when we're not being productive, and it's like this anxiety and this pressure that if we are not. Um, doing things in our free time, then we are not moving forward in life and our goals and our ambitions, whatever the case. And we were just talking about how frustrating it is and, and not to say that men don't have these issues, but I do feel like this, I do feel like women probably deal with this a lot more. Um, because I mean, we juggle, we juggle a lot. We juggle. I mean, I know for me, like I, I juggle my, I manage my household and you know, I've had good conversations with Stan and how we can kind of shift that and make that more of a balanced load. But you know, sometimes like, I'm just going to be honest, women, we are more efficient and people just need to fall in line and sometimes that's okay and sometimes that's overwhelming. So um, Transcribed I don't have the answers to say how do we combat productivity, guilt, the anxiety, and the pressure that we are not doing enough when we are, we are using our free time, fragile free time, or we're resting, or doing things that bring us joy, like for me, reading, watching, you know, a Netflix documentary I've been wanting to watch for a while, or a TV show that I've been, I've been meaning to catch up on, because when you get In that spot, that mental place of negativity, imposter syndrome, whatever it is. If you're anything like me, chances are you are not really going to move forward. You're going to get kind of like stunted, immobilized in a way. Because, at least for me, I get stuck in this, this mantra, this head space of you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. Like, okay, if I'm not utilizing all my free time, then I'm a failure. I'm not reaching my goals. But then it's like, I've now put all this pressure on myself and I go to do the task and I just kind of stare. Or you get distracted by other little things because the bigger task is overwhelming because you've now put the stakes so high. So again, I was saying I don't have the, the solution to that, like, alright guys, this is what you need to take, this is the supplement you need to take, this is the exercise, the mantra, the journal prompt to fix this. I don't have that. But what I do have is to say, You're not alone because I, I did a little research into this before I recorded this episode just to see, is there some science behind it and psychological information that's going to help and, and all of that. And let me tell you what I found was just lots of, lots of articles, blogs, uh, podcast episodes of people sharing that they have it too. And the one first point I wanted to make is have some grace in yourself, on yourself. Because you're not alone. A lot of people struggle with this. A lot. And I do think that there is solace in knowing you're not alone. So, my first combat to this is you're not alone. You are not the only one dealing with the struggle of feeling inferior because of your productivity or lack thereof. sure, there are things you can do, like big tasks, like friggin gosh. That's always my roadblock is breaking down bigger tasks, bigger projects, long term goals in a smaller, smaller steps. Um, I'm looking at you website. But there's things like that. There was one thing I read that was something about exposure, which is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy where the theory behind it is the more you do the thing that causes you anxiety, the more exposed and I was from looking for a lack of sensation behind the anxiety and doing it. So the more you do it, the less anxious you're going to feel, um, which I'm sure there's some truth to that, but I will say I, I tried to use that exact same concept with my fear of heights. And I will tell you right now, it's only getting worse. I'm joking. Oh, well, I'm not joking on the heights. I'm still terrified, but a little bit of a different. Different case. I'm sure phobias as a whole are a little different than talking about this level of anxiety and productivity guilt, but Doing it more and giving yourself more stuff more grace me and my friends my friends My friend situation like she physically could not move like you physically cannot do the things you cannot go do all the cleaning and do all this and do all that you can only do the bare minimum and it's like Why why are we beating ourselves up, right? Why? And, I mean, there's some other, other elements to this, like chronic pain and this and this, and you know, that's another topic for another day, but we just need to stop beating ourselves up when we are not achieving what we think we should be. We need to take in the full picture. We need to get, whoop, more high level with it, a helicopter view, and God, just give ourselves a break. We got enough pressure to deal with. I mean, shit. The U. S. economy is all over the place. One report says, hey, everything is great, and the other report says inflation is at an all time high and mortgage rates are over 8%. So, you know, that's actually a good example to say, you know, there are Good example when you think of like your mental, like there's, there's two different versions. Another example of that is like work from home. You have these big CEOs, corporations, commercial real estate being like productivity is, is at all time low, people work from home. But then you have people who are like, no, not so much like people are crushing it. think of your brain like there's, you're going to have to, I guess, I guess I'm kind of giving a long winded example of saying, you can look at it in two different ways. But the truth of it is somewhere probably in the middle. Actually, did I make that point? Because I also love working from home, so I'm not trying to suggest that we probably should be in the office. So maybe this whole example is actually not at all hitting the way I want it to. So let me just backtrack. First, side note, hashtag work from home lover over here. Very long hashtag. Uh, but I guess what I'm trying to say is, Sigh. You're going to have the negativity associated with your lack of productivity, but if you can work on trying to skew your perception of yourself, take in the full, the full scope of the situation. Like for my friend, you're on bed rest, you're in, you're in pain, you cannot physically do anything. So why, why let your, your anxiety just go off unhinged? You're a failure. You should feel guilty that you're not doing more. You literally physically can't. Oh my gosh! One thing that I saw over and over again in our, in my research, is the hustle culture. the, what was the Kim Kardashian quote? Like, get, like, get off your ass and work. Like, we live in this society that if we are not jam packed in our day, achieving Going after our dreams and goals and every single essence of the moment of the second Then you are gonna fail and that's just not the case not the case at all You know the past couple weeks my episodes haven't come out on Wednesdays or it's been a little delayed and that's just because life be life And and I used to beat myself up over it. But instead now I'm like, you know what? I do this all by myself. It's pretty badass. I do it all by myself if I say so myself and I do love the content I create. So I'm taking off the pressure because I was noticing the more I pressured myself, the less I was enthused to record, the less I was excited to do podcast stuff. And I love doing this. So it's like my negative narrative in my, my mind was actually hurting me even more so. Then me not doing the podcast on Wednesday instead of coming out Thursday. So all this to say, the most important voice is the voice you have with yourself. That self love, that inner narrative. Focus on the positivity. Focus on building yourself up. Focus on the good. Okay, I can't physically do this today, but taking the rest is going to make me closer to being able to do things again the next day, a week from now, however long the path may take. And then also like the things that you can do, take advantage of it. Okay, now I get to catch up on reading. Okay, maybe I could do some research because I obviously can't move around right now. So let me do a little bit of research on this platform or, or, or how to build a fricking website, this or this. It's hard enough existing, let's be real, in today's world, not even today's world, I just think existing in general, good lord, but definitely in today's world. We have to be easier on ourselves. We have to. There's going to be enough haters and people making us question our worth, making us second guess ourselves, gaslighting us, making us think, wow, was that, was that my fault? Was this, is this my problem? If you don't have the strong inner narrative, the positive voice, that self love, that self soothing, it's gonna be a lot harder. And I know this is easier said than done, and trust me, once you get to that positive voice, it does not mean it's there all the time. I struggle with that. I have moments of being overwhelmed, I have moments of just, oh, I'm having a panic attack. Case in point, this past Monday, I, all the things that have been stressing me out finally bubbled to the surface, and boom, I had a panic attack. But once it was done, I recognized, okay, I cannot let things, I can't hold things in that long because then I explode. But tomorrow is a new day. And I'm not trying to say, oh, I'll just put it off till tomorrow. Oh, da da da da da. But I am saying, we don't always get it right. That's life. That's okay. You always have tomorrow. I don't even mean to get that confused with, You're not guaranteed tomorrow, so make today count. Sure, make today count, but shit happens. Sometimes you get overwhelmed. Sometimes you spiral. Sometimes you have just crazy anxiety. Sometimes things happen that are unexpected. You have tomorrow. You can always have tomorrow. Sure, today's guaranteed. Maybe not tomorrow, but yes, you do have tomorrow. Don't focus on the negative. Brush your shoulders off, get back in the saddle, and just know that you can do it. The path forward is still there. Sure there may be curveballs, speed bumps, potholes, detours, but the path will present itself. So be easy on yourself. You deserve that. We all freaking deserve that. But, um, anywho, that's, that's, that's the soapbox today. Don't let the inner narrative make you feel inferior to the amazing, wonderful, incredible ness that is you. There is only one you, believe it or not. I know, I know, contrary to popular belief, there is only one you, and you are amazing. Your thoughts, your dreams, your goals. Um, your, your habits, everything, everything is amazing because it makes up you. So don't beat yourself up. Take the rest when you need it. If you spiraled, if you had a bad day, if you just said, you know what, I, I got to throw in the towel. All right. Throw in the towel. Because remember, you can try again tomorrow. And recognizing your limits, I think there's power in that. So I think today's takeaways are. Remember, the most important voice is the one that you have within yourself. and it also doesn't hurt to have a good support system, whether that's family, friends, a therapist, all of the above, a great podcast. Ahem, ahem, ahem. just find, find your, find your, find your community. Find whatever little nook on the internet that brings you joy. Um, but again. The most important voice is the one you have within yourself. So make sure you are feeding it the healthiest, the healthiest nutrition that you can. And that, like I said, that could be your support system, the community, um, the algorithm in which you follow on the social media. And secondly, Be a little delusional and I know these kind of play hand in hand a little bit, but be delusional. I don't mean skip scuba training and just go 30 60 feet to the depths because chances are that's not gonna work out well for you. But be delusional in that you can do it. Whatever it is, whether it's scuba diving, whether it's buying a house in this incredibly insane market or pitching yourself to a podcast that maybe you're a little intimidated by but pshh. You know that you've got something to offer and why not? Shoot your shot. That is the goal for this week and, and, for the rest of the year and, and on for life. Shoot your shot. I've said this before, my favorite thing to say is jump and the net will appear. It's the same thing. It all goes back to this delusional mindset that why not? Who says I can't? A lot of people, but I'm gonna say I can. Because why not, right? Why not? Why not bet on you? Seriously, ask yourself that. When you're feeling intimidated, you're feeling whatever, why not? Go after it. Take the breaks when you need it, but go after it and love yourself in the process. And take the highs, take the lows, take all the in betweens because it's all part of what shapes you to be you and go after what it is that you want. So, yeah. So, uh, on that note, I'm gonna, I'm gonna table this conversation for next week. Just kidding, that was some business jargon and it sounded really awkward on the podcast, so we're not. We're not going to do that again. I'm just kidding. So I know one of my girlfriends and I, she's like, um, uh, a salesperson in a pretty popular big name tech company. And whenever we're texting, she is like notorious for saying things like, okay, I'll circle back with you later. Uh, put, put a pencil in that for now. And it's just hysterical and I always call her out on it, but it's kind of like our funny running joke. So on that note, we're going to pencil today's conversation and pick up next week on an all new in between. Okay. But anyways, um, so if you would like to follow me and if you're not doing so already, please check me on Instagram. The pod is at in. betweenpod. That's where I'll be posting prompts, questions, trying to get ready for my next couple of episodes with Dr. Singh and some other fun, exciting things in the works. Then you can follow me on my personal, which is at Elizabeth Cheney underscore, and that's where I post more of just like the life shit. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? And then you can follow me on Tik Tok at the in between podcast and on YouTube at the in between podcasts, which this episode will be there. Um, Hey, side note, really proud of myself. The past, I don't even know how many episodes have been on YouTube because your girls and video and she's killing it. See, that inner narrative when it's positive is really great. But if you want to caught me Monday, not so much. So see, it's all a wave. Um, but anyways, um, I really appreciate you being here. I love, I love you guys so, so much. And if you're loving the show, feel free to leave me a review on whatever platform you listen to the podcast on. Spotify, Apple, whatever it is. Would love to would love that support. Um, it does help the show. Which, at first, I thought it did, and then I thought it didn't. But then, it does actually help. So Always learning something. Always learning something. But anyways, I hope you all have a fabulous rest of your week. I hope you are safe this weekend as we get closer to Halloween. Do not drink and drive. Do not drink and drive. Make good choices. Be safe. Have fun. Can't wait to see your costumes. I do not have one because, well, in typical Liz fashion, I avoided to the last minute, but that's okay. That's okay. Maybe one of these days I'll get my Halloween life together. Um, and yeah, I'll catch you next week on an all new InBetween. Until then, see you later. Bye!