In-Between: A Mindful Approach to Stress Management with Rosa Castaño

We have a special guest this week! Please welcome Rosa Castaño —a meditation, mindfulness, and movement leader as well as a keynote speaker. Rosa shares her  journey from a corporate career to becoming a leader in workplace well-being and stress management. This one's got lots of good tips and advice you're going to want to hear!

We cover so much in one episode: 

• Mindfulness, emotional well-being, and creating realistic goals
• Stress management tactics
• Maintaining personal boundaries while working from home  
• The power of self-talk
• Navigating stress and anxiety 
• The importance of personal core values to guide decisions

Follow Rosa here:
https://www.rosacastano.com/
@wellbeingwithrosa
Align & Achieve: Goal Setting & Vision Boards (digital workshop!)
Well-Being & Team Building Workshops

Connect with me:
https://in-between.co
@in.betweenpod on Instagram
@elizabethcheney_ on Instagram
@theinbetweenpodcast on TikTok
The In-Between Podcast on YouTube

Transcript

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Elizabeth 0:06

Hey, Hey, Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the in between. I'm your host, Elizabeth Cheney, and I have a wonderful, exciting guest. I mean, when do I not have wonderful, exciting guests? Hello. So her name is Rosa Castano. I want to give you a little intro about her before I let her introduce herself. So we were introduced by a past guest, Brittany Tucker. She's brighter with Brit. She was actually like, you Not my first guest, but one of my first big guests. Um, we talked about really vulnerable things, domestic violence and experience she had, and we've been friends since great, great, great connections. And a little while ago she reached out and said, Hey, I need you to meet this rockstar Rosa. She's my friend. I think you guys will click and. Click. We did. So Rosa is a meditation, mindfulness and movement leader, as well as a keynote speaker who offers workplace wellbeing workshops, stress management workshops, wellness activations, and leadership and development coaching. Basically she wants you to succeed. She wants you to limit your stress, and she doesn't want the workplace holding you back from any of it. So with a vast corporate history, unique understanding of stressors and joys of the workplace, it all makes her the ideal expert to help implement strategies and lead workshops to help create resilience and emotional well being in the workplace, which I think we all crave and need. So, what's great about that is you get to hear her now. So, Rosa, thank you for joining me, and welcome to The Inbetween.

Rosa 1:30

Happy to be here and thank you so much for that introduction. It's it's so it's so vast and covers so much so I Am so happy that Brit introduced us. She's wonderful and I have just you know, absolutely like new best friend in you So I'm excited for our chat

Elizabeth 1:46

I swear I feel like we were just talking before we started recording and I was like, gosh, we are very similar. We are so alike and like, I got to see you. So we're going to make sure that happens at some point in the near future.

Rosa 1:56

let's come play in Nashville

Elizabeth 1:58

Yes, let's, let's. And thankfully Nashville is not so far from Atlanta, so I love that. Um, okay, so Rosa, let's, uh, I'm going to hand you the mic and I want you to kind of give the audience a little spiel. Tell us about you. Let's, let's get into it before we get into it, if you know what I mean.

Rosa 2:14

Absolutely. So I always like to kind of start with my origin story. So in 1988, I was born. I'm just kidding. We won't go back that far, but I do like to go back to, I was started off my career in the corporate workplace, actually through a family company. My mom owns a company that was around medical equipment sales. And so I really got to cut my teeth on sales immediately, but domestic international. And my mom was never one to like, You see so much in the, you know, news right now about Nepo babies. That is not my mom. I think I had to start off cleaning toilets. So she was like, I want you to know every aspect of the business. And I'm like, really? But toilets, like I get that. Um, but I did, I got, I got to do a warehouse and really worked my way up. And that was kind of what I thought was going to be, um, you know, my pathway. But then as life does at times, uh, made a little powerful pivot and then decided for my own. Sake to leave the company, pursue new things. And then I ventured into sales roles, uh, for a company at a Nashville that catered to bachelor and bachelorette parties. I knew I really liked Nashville tourism, so it really, you know, hard classic transition from medical equipment sales to bachelorette parties. Um, but it

Elizabeth 3:33

Sorry,

Rosa 3:33

was one of those things that no

Elizabeth 3:36

So that was

Rosa 3:37

well, the funny thing about, it's like, as I, as I, as I thread this. It all kind of like builds on each other where you're like, Oh, of course you're kind of doing what you're doing now. So hang, hang tight with me on this journey. So we, uh, we, I was the first hire for this company. We built the company up. Weeks. Nashville, New Orleans, we attracted the attention of a major network, um, that we did a reality TV show. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Um, and then before the TV show even aired, I just had this little intuitive hit that it was time for me to move on. I didn't think that the show was going to do what everybody hoped it would do. So I kind of followed my intuition. And, um, I left before that show aired. I got another job, um, in tourism and hospitality here in Nashville at a giant music that has to do with country music. So everybody can put two and two together. Um, and then sure enough, the TV show airs and

Elizabeth 4:40

Sorry.

Rosa 4:41

thank you. It's the, it's all the struggles. We laugh so we don't cry,

Elizabeth 4:47

Oh god, I love it. You are my twin. I'm obsessed. God.

Rosa 4:52

So, sure enough, the TV show really didn't do anything, um, and so I was able to go on my merry way, but it was, uh, it was a very interesting time when it's like, you have this TV show airing and then you're at something totally different, but it was a, it was a wild year. And then, um, 2020. Everybody is familiar with that. Lovely

Elizabeth 5:14

something happen?

Rosa 5:15

Uh, since I was, something did happen. Yeah. So since I was in tourism and hospitality, uh, there was, uh, no tourism. And so there was no need for my department. So unfortunately my department of seven went down to three. My job position was eliminated. OPS, I was five months pregnant. So, uh, there was a lot of things going on at the time, and yes, luckily my husband was in a job that, uh, thrived during the pandemic. He works for a company that sells, uh, peaches and other produce, and everybody was at home baking and canning and learning how to do stuff. So, uh, peaches thrived during that time, so thankfully we were very well taken care of during that. But, it allowed me to really Start going. What do I want to do? Because in the meantime, on the side, I had done my yoga teacher training. I was always very passionate about wellness and wellbeing, but even at that time, wellbeing wasn't a word that was commonly used. Um, it was really just more wellness, mental health. And then, it was kind of one of those things that when my job position is eliminated, I'm like, I get to do whatever I want to do now. Crap. What do I want to do? Because very rarely do we actually get those moments of clarity where we can sit and sit and rest and sit in stillness and just really kind of evaluate life. And because I always knew I wanted to do my own thing and you know, and it was like, okay, in three years I'll be able to do this. And you have your plan and then sometimes the universe just burned your boats for you. And that was my, that was my moment to say, okay, what do I want to do? And so I started to search and research and mostly because I saw my friends, my colleagues, peers who were sitting at home by themselves for the first time without the busy schedule. themselves with their own thoughts, which sometimes can a very scary place and not necessarily having the tools or the resources or just the knowledge on how to successfully manage those feelings, successfully manage that stress that comes up. And I saw companies, the good ones, wanting to support their employees in that capacity, but also maybe not necessarily knowing how, because mental health still in the workplace was. It is, you know, to a degree, somewhat very taboo. So, Whereas originally the workplace is like you come to work or do your job. Now the workplace is more seen as this ecosystem that hopefully supports the whole person, not just, um, Hey, here's your paycheck. Here's your limited insurance, et cetera. So now there is so much more that's actually expected out of companies, which I think is a good thing because it does allow people to step into roles that they're actually passionate about, leave roles that don't align with them. So I started doing research. Seeing this, seeing that there was this need. And I came across Deloitte, and I found that's really where the first time I heard or saw the term well being, that they actually had a chief well being officer. And I was like, interesting. The fact that this company is invested enough to put in their C suite, someone specifically over well being for their employees and what that entails, I realized that this, this is going to be a trend and one that is so desperately needed. so much. And not everybody has Deloitte's budget. And so how can I come in and kind of create curriculum workshops, help to bring tools to people in a very realistic, like meet people where they're at way. so I added on meditation teacher training, and then I added on for my own self as well, mindfulness based stress reduction, because I, as I evaluated everything, I realized stress is really the undercurrent of what keeps us in that fight or flight. And unmanaged stress keeps us from being able to move forward and heal and create these goals and do the things that we really want to do in life. And so I did mindfulness based stress reduction, as well as specifically also being able to facilitate in the workplace.

Elizabeth 9:18

Oh, that's cool.

Rosa 9:19

And so I kind of just, I took all of that. And then I took my 15 years from corporate workplace and. All of my different iterations. And I kind of said, you know, what kind of workshop would I want? What would land with me? And because of my connections in tourism and hospitality, and this is why I always tell people, you know, the best you can, don't burn your bridges. Because that's where I got some of my first clients from, where, from my, You know, many years of networking in that space, and my very first one came from a hotel here, a big hotel chain for their leadership team, and I got brought in because I had been brought in by somebody. It's just, it's all the ways that people connect, and then you're seeing the thread, because originally I was brought in to just do a stretch and breathing session for people, because I was like, that's, that's great. Let me just, let me just connect people that way first. And then they loved me and they're like, what do you have that's more? And I was like, yes, I do have more. Um, okay. Uh, so, you know, but that's how we create things. And

Elizabeth 10:20

That is so

Rosa 10:20

I remember the first time that I, got the connection. Made the curriculum, sent it to them, priced it. I laugh because I priced my very first one at 250 for an hour for 20 people for this leadership team. And, um, Um, I, all these, I felt like adults were going in because, you know, when sometimes in those rooms, you're like, I'm 15 and why would they listen to me? Even though I'm a full grown adult as well.

Elizabeth 10:47

I'm a child. I

Rosa 10:48

Oh, you're 1 year, you're 1 year older than me.

Elizabeth 10:50

Yeah. I'm a big girl. I'll drive you around, but I'm a child.

Rosa 10:53

was going to say, you pick 16 so you can drive. Well, be fun. Um, but I, I was sitting there kind of having to literally tap into my own practices of, okay, remember to breathe, be where your feet are. So I think I literally pretended to go get pens in a corner and just kind of like hid there for a minute as I did deep breathing because This was like, this was the moment and I kind of put my big girl pants on and one of those like, fake it till you make it. And I went through and I led the workshop. It landed with people. It resonated with people. I had such great feedback. And from that moment, it was that spark of this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Everything else has like been good. It's been fun. It's been great, but this feels aligned. It feels So right and I was on cloud nine afterwards And so from there is kind of off to the races my name getting passed around being able to help people in in realistic ways because that's kind of like what I like to hang my hat on is that We see so many social media people Um, influencers, personnel out there who are like, I wake up at nine in the morning and then I do my routine and then by 11 and I'm like, please, the average person, especially if they have kids, they're up at like five or six and then, you know, they're in the office by this. And so how do we actually implement realistic strategies for real people? And so that's what's been the fun part of it all.

Elizabeth 12:19

That is

Rosa 12:19

So that kind of answers your question. Been a long

Elizabeth 12:22

no, that was great. And honestly, one thing, there's so many things, but one thing to mention, this is a great, like, example of when you sit with yourself and think about what you want to do and then you set out on that journey, things happen. You can't plan it. You can't predict it. I don't know what opportunity is going to come on this path. I don't know when I got to take a left or when I got to take a right, but I'm just going to keep walking and then boom, the left turn comes, the right turn comes, the peach pass comes, like whatever the heck. And I just, I love that kind of story, uh, just because I'm a big believer in dreams and following your dreams. I know it's really hard as cheesy as that sounds, but it is so hard to one, like even like listen to yourself, but then to like follow through and then three get through the inner narrative imposter syndrome. So I think that's amazing.

Rosa 13:10

it's definitely an intersection of trust the process, but also inspired action, right? Like, I feel like for me, the two have to go hand in hand. As much as I would just love and wish that, you know, people would come banging down my door. Unfortunately, they do not. So I have to go out and bang on their doors, but it's one of those things I tell people all the time that, you know, I get questions. How do you get the word out? I'm like, be somewhat obnoxious about telling people what they should know. And what you want out of what you do because people can't invite you to the party unless they know you want to come to the party and we get in our own head all the time where we're like, why did they think of me? Or, you know, they should have thought of me. They know, but people are just living their lives. They're doing their own thing. And it's not by any malice of theirs. They're not intentionally leaving you out of things. But. Life gets busy. And so if you're not staying in at top of mind, if you're not showing up to things, if you're not engaging, then unfortunately, you know, there's a tendency where you might drop off. So it's, it's always like, how do you stay, um, with touch points to people?

Elizabeth 14:17

So true. Networking is key. It is key. And shoot your shot. Like my, my favorite quote that I kind of live by with the podcast speaking all the things that I'm trying to do and grow right is leap. I'm looking up cause it's written on my whiteboard leap and the net will appear like that is, and sometimes the net doesn't appear, but I always just plan that it's going to. And really what I mean by that is when you make that connection, you, or you have that aha moment. Lean into it. Like, lean into it. Don't let the imposter syndrome or the second guessing lean into

Rosa 14:48

absolutely. My friends and I have a fun saying amongst ourselves where we say, sometimes Delulu is the Salulu, because if you can just go through, have, be delusional enough, have the audacity to do it, to try. That's where to me, some of the magic happens because you're like, you think, and we go, like I said, what a money. One of my keynotes is about fear less because people talk about the fear of failure and I'm like, I don't think that's it because fail everyone's fail. Failure is known. So failure is safe. And the ego loves to be safe where the fear I think it's triggered is the fear of success. So it's that age old adage of, but what if it does work out? How do you have to show up differently? How, what will life look like? What if, what does your life look like when all the things that you've had to complain about or that didn't go your way are all of a sudden gone? Right. And so that's kind of one of the things where you're just, that's where the fear of success comes in. And it's like, okay, it's not about removing the fear. It's about noticing it and letting it ride along in the car with you. But you're remembering that you're in the driver's seat. Because life is full of opportunities to be able to evaluate and level up, but there's times where it's like you said, is there a net? I don't know. Hopefully.

Elizabeth 16:06

Hopefully, and I'll tell you right now, spoiler alert, it hasn't let me down yet. So, and, and what I mean by that is even an opportunity that didn't pan out or it didn't work out the way I thought it was going to, whatever. Let's just say something happens that let me down, and that negative feeling, negative emotion, whatever, Almost immediately, there's something else around the corner that I couldn't have predicted. I couldn't have seen so truly leaping the net will appear. Even if it's not for that, it's gonna, you're gonna keep falling. Oh, then it does catch you before you realize, I didn't think I was almost out. So, um, good call out. Very, very, very important too and it's all easier said than done, but that's why grounding and having good well being and wellness and stress management helps you because life's hard. We're going to have stress, we're going to get in our frigging

Rosa 16:50

not, and not, yeah. And then also not. Bypassing the feelings like have a good shower cry, right? Just like that's the best time pretend like you're in a movie and just like, you know Crying the chef you just got to get those out sometimes because sometimes it doesn't work out and it's okay to feel sad about it But it's also the practice of saying kind of hold can I hold space for both at the same time? Can I be? disappointed But then still optimistic at the same time, you know It's not bypassing it because we all have feelings and I think that's where we get in trouble sometimes when we want to push things Down, but it's just going I'm allowed to be sad about this, but I can't stay sad about it

Elizabeth 17:29

right? Don't gaslight yourself, don't invalidate your feelings, but don't let them control your worth. It's

Rosa 17:38

It's like that perfect in between

Elizabeth 17:41

I love it. I love it. Actually. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Yes. Okay. So I just want to say this, the things that we talk about today, they are going to transcend more than just corporate. it will help you with corporate, yes, but it's, it's also your day to day, it's your personal, these are things that we can do in our day to day, but we're going to talk about stress, ways to gauge and manage, and then how we can tackle the larger goals. And one thing that you said to me when we first started talking about this conversation was, you know, Survival mode is typically the outcome of like unmanaged stress, so no more survival mode babies. And I know I'm very vocal about mental health, anxiety, stress, my struggles, my issues, you know, well not issues, but you know what I mean, like my setbacks and things and hurdles and fight or flight is a real thing, so no more survival mode. We are working on grounding ourselves, whether it's in the workplace or in our life, and that's the beauty of it. um, You've always been drawn to wellness and well being. You were a, you said you were a yoga instructor, like you got your certification and then you went into meditation. and then seeing your friends after, like during the covid during the covid during the pandemic and seeing the underlying stress tethers. Um, I would be shocked to hear anyone say that their job does not add stress to their life. I mean, We live in America, let's just be honest, like, job is a part of culture here, it's a part of our life and it makes or breaks if it's not good, it's not healthy, but we can protect ourselves. So, my first question for you is, how do you think stress impacts us on a personal, like, day to day level, work, all of it?

Rosa 19:20

Oh Gosh so many ways I was you know, share touch points of, you know, unmanaged stress taps into emotional, mental and physical. And it's one of those things that it will have a tendency to creep up. There is sometimes where you're like, no, I'm definitely stressed, but the compounding stress is what tends to creep up because we'll ignore it. And then we're wondering, why can't I sleep at night? Why do I have no appetite? Why do I have too much appetite? Why do I have zero energy? And it's because we're not having that daily self awareness and that daily check in just going, how do I feel today? And then the interesting part is that the body will start to give you little signs, little cues to say, Hey, I'm stressed. Hey, you know, my cortisol levels are high. Things are out of whack here. And that comes in physical ways, like clenched jaws. is a big sign. Um, the shoulders love to work their way up to the ears, you know, the, that furrowing of the eyebrow. Um, me personally, I have a couple of ones that I've noticed for myself where I'll, this sounds really weird and I don't know if anybody else does this, but the only way I can describe it is that like I clench my tongue. Like, it's like I'm constantly flexing

Elizabeth 20:37

Oh my gosh, I do

Rosa 20:38

not, it's not my, it's not my job, but it's like my tongue. And then I'm realizing, I'm like, relax.

Elizabeth 20:44

I do that. I will lock it at like the roof of my mouth. It's wild. I

Rosa 20:49

Yes. Yes. Okay. Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one. Of course it would be you. That would also resonate with that. I love

Elizabeth 20:57

was like, where is she gonna go with this? And when you said that I was like shut up like I because yesterday I was like so it was so busy I was like the whole day like my mouth. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Sorry continue

Rosa 21:07

And you're like, why is my tongue sore? I didn't even know that my tongue could be sore. And it's because you're, yeah, you're clenching it. And, um, and then the other one I noticed, and this is, I am a big fan of like TMI, you're welcome. So we're just going to be like, you know, we're talking about all the stuff. So I, the other one that I noticed because we also, um, stress impacts your gut health. So, you know, there, that can have stuff go on for you, but. If I'm really stressed and like, for example, if I'm, uh, cooking or if I am cleaning the dishes or something, I'll notice that like my butt cheeks are clenched and I'm like, why? Relax, right? And you have to like physically relax. And then my brain goes, is this where your tight ass comes from? For people just like clenching, right? But it is a sign of stress because it's like your body's holding on to something and you're clenching at different points. So that's why I always like to, I literally have it in my email signature where I'm like, relax the jaw, you know, unfurrow the eyebrows because we don't notice unless we do regular check ins with ourselves where you're like, where am I holding tension? It can be knots in the shoulder blades. It can be headaches. It can, there's all these different components that your body will subtly give you cues. And that's your body saying like, Hey, get up, move around, step away from your situation. But what ends up happening is that we ignore them. And then we start to ignore our basic human needs, like drink water, eat, go to the bathroom. It's not so silly to have somebody who's like, Oh my gosh, I totally forgot to eat. And it's like, yeah, because you're ignoring your hunger cues because you're so deep in it. Or when was the last time you just drank water or looked outside or went to the bathroom? And so when we start to ignore those basic needs, that's when the stress slowly starts to creep in when we don't give ourselves the opportunities to just get up and step away. And the interesting part is the science behind it is that we only have 45 minutes of focused attention at a time. So beyond that, you're kind of doing yourself a disservice. And I always joke too, you know, a lot of people wear smart watches and you know, if you have an Apple watch, it's, it'll say, you know, time to stand up. But how many people are like, nope, ignore. You don't get to tell me what to do. You. machine. And, but, but in reality, it's like, you've been sitting for too long, please stand up. So we get stuck in that L position. when you think about a tree, when you think about the body, everything has to have open channels to flow, to communicate. It's like, Oh, it does make sense that I should get up and get out of that bending position and just, Walk around, take a breath, go do something, reset, and then come back to what I'm doing. But we think instead, no, I'm going to crank out. I just need like three hours of dedicated work. And it's like, yeah, do that. But with a little bit of breaks in between. So I always tell people to. You know, what happens in the workplace directly impacts how we show up in the home life. What happens in the home life directly impacts how we show up at work. Um, and kind of gone are the days where it's like, you know, leave your stuff at home or leave your stuff at work. And it's the person's responsibility to make sure if they've had that stressful day at work, that they're not coming home and dumping that on their household. Because I know for myself, I'm sure other people can relate too. stress, anxiety, that's just like, it's palpable. So when somebody walks in the room, it's kind of all of a sudden, like it shifts the energy of the room. And sometimes you can be like, Oh, let's give, you know, so and so some space because they're obviously not in a good mood. I did a workshop one time where somebody shared that they had a past boss that how they walked in that morning, everybody could tell what kind of day they were going to have. And I just don't believe that one person like that should impact and be in charge of everybody else's emotions. That's where emotion intelligence comes from. It's where it can say like, hey, I'm having a hard time right now. Text your significant other, be like, I'm just gonna decompress in the car for five minutes. I'm gonna scream. I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna like rage to like heavy metal music, whatever, you know, whatever works for you. But let that be kind of the palate cleanser so you can come in and be Refresh because now it's time to take off that work hat and now put on your, you know, parent hat, spouse hat, partner hat, any caregiver hat, like whatever it is that you are having to wear. But knowing, okay, now I'm in charge of my emotions. I'm not going to go dumping on everybody else.

Elizabeth 25:33

Right. I'm curious. I would think the same advice would follow, but you know, nowadays a lot of people work remote. That's a little bit harder to keep those boundaries in place because like now you work where you live. You live where you work. So what are, what are some mm hmm, and I don't mean to throw you on the spot, but do you have any like suggestions or best practices to instill those um, Those boundaries, like, you know, maybe you work for a little bit of a toxic company or toxic team. Maybe there's like the leadership's a little unorganized, something like that. Like, it can be dysregulating. And I do agree. Like, it is your responsibility to instill those boundaries. Technically, sure, your supervisor should be making sure they're Supervising and being the best version of themselves, but we know that doesn't happen. You always protect yourself. So how can you do that when you're like your live space and your workspace are one in the same?

Rosa 26:26

Yeah, and not everybody has a home office or room that is dedicated to that. Um, I've talked to people who work at home in that capacity and are like, I work at my kitchen table or I have a desk set up in my room or something like that. And so I always try to say, you know, make sure that you kind of have a clear transition of a space. If, for example, your office is in your bedroom, like maybe put up a partition that you can kind of like physically open and be like, business is closed right now, right? Because it's more, it's that energetic feeling of being like, my computer's over there. I know it's over there. but then also reminding yourself, Oh, I am at home. I can step away for just a few minutes. It doesn't have to be. But we feel like. You know, because we are working at home, we have to be even more on or even more present or heaven forbid the slack shows that my mouse isn't moving and it says away, right? Like, we think that we're kind of being watched by the eyes in the skies and hopefully you're not necessarily, but I know that there are a lot of, like you said, toxic workplaces where it's like people will micromanage that and you kind of have to really set those boundaries best you can. utilizing your calendar to say, like, Hey, here, I'm putting blocks of, um, uninterrupted time, right? Like, unless the company's on fire, please do not come to me. And it's also a practice to teaching people how to treat you. And it's not always possible. You know, I always say everything with caveats.

Elizabeth 27:57

Yeah.

Rosa 27:57

Because sometimes if we're in a lot season, push season, if there's like promotions happening, promotional things happening, you sometimes do have to be all hands on deck. And then you know that, but when you're in kind of a normal season, normal in quotations, because what is that? You know, it's being able to protect that space. But at home. Reminding yourself, you know, and when I was in the workplace when I was working in office I could never burn a candle even though I love candles because I want to be respectful to other people because What I think might be a delightful scent might not be somebody else's delightful scent. So it's kind of reminding yourself. Hey However, you can make your space yours If you're working from home, do that, you know, make it, make it a place that you actually enjoy. Make it a place that's fun. I have, uh, I, I've talked to one guy and his home office, he loves everything Marvel, everything Star Wars. So he has a whole full display behind it and he can because it's his home office and he can do whatever he wants, right? You can't necessarily bring that into the workplace. And so I think it's opportunities to say, okay, I'm working from home, but how do I make it a fun space? space that I really actually get to enjoy to come to, um, and then reminding yourself it's okay to close the laptop. It's okay to take a step away, go outside, breathe some fresh air because I think at home it's almost worse. And I would love to hear like other people's opinions about that because you really do feel like you're stuck and tethered to your computer. Because you don't have the external distractions, and I sometimes was like the worst of that in the workplace. I'm a very social person, so I had to get done with my work and just like naively assume everybody else was done with theirs. And so I was like walking around to people, um, and, and that's kind of part of the camaraderie that is in the workplace. Which I think that's why a lot of companies are wanting people to get back together into the office. But I think there's a space to have a hybrid model or be like, really, what is actually needed? Ask your people what they want. Don't just make demands of things necessarily. Um, especially if it's been working. Right. So, you don't have that natural distraction of, Oh, so and so's coming here. Oh, we're going to chit chat. You don't have that nor those normal social interactions. So I feel like you are doing so much more computer work. And there is a such thing as zoom fatigue. It's been studied, you know, having to sit in front of this computer and just constantly be on and talk into the void, is a big actual real thing. And so. Making sure that you're giving yourself those checks and balances at home and in the workplace

Elizabeth 30:31

Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries. Stress management, would you agree, is boundaries to an extent? It's not all boundaries, but it is a big thing of boundaries. Uh, yeah, I'm

Rosa 30:42

Yeah, it is One of the things I do in my workshops with corporate groups is I have them kind of go through like a normal flow Of their day and again normal in quotations And I ask them, you know as you think about the normal arc of your day, when do you tend to feel most stressed overwhelmed? triggered by things and Analyze that and then begin to put in those boundaries to play because if we can't do those things to kind of help offset some of it, well, then that's not helping us manage our stress and sometimes stress is inevitable and that's a guarantee, but it's how we manage it. That makes all the difference.

Elizabeth 31:20

right. Absolutely. I completely agree. very well said. Very well said. So I'm just curious. Do you ever use the term burnout in your teachings and trainings and workshops? Because I kind of feel like burnout is a result of, or it's one of the results of unmanaged stress and just kind of pushing yourself too hard for a lack of better words. I'm just curious what the expert's opinion is on that.

Rosa 31:42

so kind of two parts. So, um, I do address burnout, but I address it in kind of like a very. because especially these days, burnout, that term is being tossed around very loosely, you know, when, if you know truly what burnout is on the clinical level, that is, you know, you're, you're no longer able to function in your work. You're no longer able to function in your life. And it is maybe one of those opportunities or those things where you have to go to, um, a rehab center or a clinic just to be able to recoup from that. And that doesn't happen overnight and burnout, that terminology is specifically right now, for the workplace. they don't have it. clinically described as just, you can't be just burnout from life. but it is all things that are due to unmanaged stress, over workloads, understaffed, under resources, all of those things compounding. And, um, That is what leads to burnout. There's five levels of burnout. And then there is the ways that when we have chronic stress, so you just have your, you have your basic, you know, run of the mill stress. Um, and then you start to have chronic stress. And that's the untapped, because the body, I'm gonna, like, get nerdy here for a second. So the body is designed to handle stress. That's why we have a nervous system. It is what kicks us into fight or flight. So ancestors come, mountain lions come to attack. Are we fighting? Are we flying? It literally pumps blood to our extremities are we throwing punches? Are we kicking? are we running? It slows down our digestion. It actually slows down our immune system as well, because it's just going, Hey, we're needing to take care of the closest threat. Well, What's happening now is that instead of mountain lines, it's mounting emails. That's my favorite dad joke puns. Um, but people are realizing that, you know, the mind doesn't know the difference between a perceived stress and then an actual stressor. And so, whereas we're supposed to close the loop, we're supposed to have that stressor, we engage, And then we come down from it. And when we come down from it and activate that parasympathetic system, our digestion actually enhances our immune system enhances because it goes, Okay, now we have to heal everything, right? Maybe we got injured in our battle with the mountain lion. We've got to, we've got to heal, we've got to do better. And so whereas that would typically engage when we don't close that loop when we keep it open. That's what leads to chronic stress, which leads to actually a suppressed, a long term suppressed immune system, gut health, emotional decline, mental decline, and that only continues that pathway. And so that's the aspect of it that if we, from the science side and the actual, what is your body doing? That is what happens. And then it's even more complex when we get into, our neurodivergent friends, right? And so how they process things is also going to be different. I, I joke all the time with my husband cause I'm like, your head is telling you that you just like want to lay on the sofa and just like binge and consume and all this stuff. But you've really got to get out of your head and into your body. So it's, yeah. Doing those little checks and balances practices and be like, can I bring in some movement? Because we're getting filled with energy, we're getting filled with cortisol and all these stress hormones. And, um, It needs to come out. It needs to release somehow. We need to close that loop and that might for some people look like action for some people that might look like Journaling for some people that might look like, you know, just doing gentle movement maybe it's breath work, but it's doing something to help move and regulate the body and That's the part that if we don't manage that That leads to chronic stress and the compounding chronic stress is what leads then to burnout. But I hear so many people, like I said, they wear it as a badge of honor. Oh, it's so burnout. I'm like, I don't want you to be burnout. I don't want you to get to that because nobody benefits. You least as a person least of all benefit. And I think the majority of us have people that we are either, you know, reliant to or have to, take care of whether it's pets or plants, right? We, we have things that we have to take care of, um, if you're not taking care of people. And so you have to look after yourself first. And unfortunately most aren't going to have somebody who was like, Hey, have you had any water? Have you gone to the bathroom? Have you stood up? Like, have you, have you breathed any fresh air? And, and that's just, you know, keeping it very like undermist level. It goes so much deeper on truly like self care and stress practices. So not meaning to make light of it, but just those little things that, you know, are touch points throughout the day that goes, Oh, I can remember that I'm a human and I'm not just some robot who's at this thing. and kind of just remembering. What you stand for, what you enjoy, what you like to do, and what is the outcome hoping for.

Elizabeth 36:55

Absolutely, and I was gonna say, we say these are simple things, but I know I struggle with them sometimes. Also, neurodivergent girly over here, ADHD. And I'm like, yeah, it's just a struggle sometimes, but I mean it's, I've definitely come a long way. I know it's something I have to work on probably the rest of my life, but we're in a good place. But the

Rosa 37:13

Oh, it's an ongoing process, trust me. I wish there was a time where it was like, Congratulations, here's your certification, you will never be stressed again. Unfortunately, they don't give those out. I've looked. But, It just, you know, it is what it is. And, and my, one of my favorite sayings, I actually learned this saying from, my teacher from yoga teacher training was just because something sounds simple doesn't mean it's easy,

Elizabeth 37:33

Oh, that is such a good

Rosa 37:35

practices. There are a ton of simple practices that we can do, but that doesn't make them easy.

Elizabeth 37:43

And we don't, just like how you said the brain can't differentiate between what is the actual stressor versus not, like, it's the same thing. To me, like with my ADHD, I will think I can do the 32 things that I've outlined and I like process it in my head and because I process it in my head, well then obviously I can, I can do that. I can output that. No, like I probably do two of those things, but chances are if there's 32 on there, I get immobilized because I'm at task paralysis and I'm like bleh. So sometimes stress management is just also like knowing your limits, like you cannot

Rosa 38:14

Yeah. Because, Exactly because then what happens, you know, you talk about not being able to get it done. Well, then we start to shame spiral And then we're like, why can't I just do the thing that I need to do? And then we dig our hole deeper and deeper and deeper. And that's a long way out versus going, how can I sometimes just do less is more, right? But it is hard when you're like, I have this long list of things I need to do. And then, you know, whether time is an issue for you, whether you as a neurodivergent person perceive time differently, right? Where like you go into this time warp and you're like, I swear I had an hour. Why is it, you know, why do I have to leave in five minutes? it's, it's reminding yourself, like, how can I set myself up for success? I tell people it's very counterintuitive to what most leadership gurus, most successful people tell you. But I say, sometimes go for the low hanging fruit. Go for the things that's going to give you the win to help propel you to the next thing because otherwise, like I said, you make this long list, you don't get it done. You start to shame spiral. You start to have that inner voice of like, why can't I do it? Why do I even bother and then it just sets you back versus going, Okay, we're going to do this thing in all my workshops. I tell people because most of the rooms that I'm in are very high achieving, high performing, right? Like why do one thing when you can do 20? And so when I do the goal setting, I say, I want you to pick one to two, no more than five and let's break those down in workshops. And people are like, what? No, I want to have 15 goals. And I was like, but I want, I'm here to set you up for success. I want you to win and we can only do that in small little increments, right? When you, when you get to one, then you can be like, I win and then off to the next one. But we make it so overwhelming and make this huge thing versus how can I condense it and break it down? So that way I have a positive outcome. So we're nicer to ourselves.

Elizabeth 40:12

Mm hmm. Exactly. It's all about that inner narrative. The more I work on my anxiety, and my anxiety is in a really good place, I have my own mental health fun. This is, for lack of better words, uh, I'm just kidding, there's a, that's the worst word to use. It was like my own, I call it my personal rock bottom. Everyone's rock bottoms are

Rosa 40:29

Like it was very unfun.

Elizabeth 40:33

isolating, depression, and it was my first, it's been my most, my, my main experience with it. And It, it does, it was taking down, breaking things smaller, I mean at that point I wasn't taking care of myself, like I wasn't showering, I wasn't eating, like I mean I hated to even go use the bathroom, I was like this is an inconvenience, that's how depressed I was,

Rosa 40:52

Yeah. And that's, that is the depression. That's the burnout. That's the thing that's like you're getting there when you start to just eliminate all basic, you know, self preservation.

Elizabeth 41:03

and that's ultimately, I mean, there was some health stuff. It was a car accident. It was a bunch of things, but it was a bunch of things that attributed to, like, unmanaged chronic stress. Well, chronic because it was over a period of few years, and then that was the outcome was, I was nothing. I had nothing. I was empty. but that's how I slowly crawled my way out. It was like, Okay, all these big picture things, like honey, you're not even taking care of yourself. I was with a therapist and she was amazing. I am a big advocate for therapy, but it was like, you can't even worry about these big things. You need to like, make sure you brush your teeth today. You need to like go use the bathroom and I feel guilty about taking a piss. I mean, TMI, but like that's where it was. And it's easier

Rosa 41:43

And I think it's also important to put, yeah, to remind ourselves to in those moments, which was your moment of just being in survival mode, that sometimes those moments are needed to, because that is your body just being like, we just have to take care of like what's happening right here. I don't have capacity for anything else. And so I always like to put that caveat in there because I think that there are moments in life, things that happen, like it sounds like you had compounding things and sometimes life will just life like that. And survival mode is what is necessary because it's moving you through the day to get done just simply what you need to get done. And so, the, there's, there needs to be a lot of grace and forgiveness around those moments too. And just being like, you know what, I did what I had to do in that moment. But it's the process of not stopping. Staying in that moment. It's not staying in survival mode and being able to move past that and that's where a lot of the tools Come from being able to have the advocacy to help and bring people out of that But also knowing that sometimes that's the season that you have to be in but you can't stay there

Elizabeth 42:52

could, I couldn't have said it better because I was going to say, as you were talking, I was thinking, I had to go through that to be where I am today, but going through that, I learned the tools to prevent that from happening again. I mean, knock on wood, I don't want to say never say never, because like you said, life be lifing sometimes. Sometimes, but. Now I have a whole set of skills, things, resources, but also just like knowledge and mental strength from, cause I have been at a rock bottom and I've got myself out. Did I do it by myself? No. Like I had therapy, I, this, that, whatever. But like I loved myself enough to get that help and to get out of that situation. And then now I have the mindset, the perspective, the tools to essentially, and the hope not to have it happen again. so. Survival mode, I'm sure I'll have moments, another, another periods, eras, chapters of survival mode, but hopefully I don't ever reach that rock bottom again because I, even when it gets dark or when it gets hard or overwhelming, I, I have that safety net. I have that, that life jacket that I can throw at the last

Rosa 43:55

practices

Elizabeth 43:56

Exactly.

Rosa 43:57

Absolutely. And the interesting part too, whenever I talk about stress per se, there is a lot of, Shame around it, I would say, because, you know, we think like, oh, well, so and so is handling it so much better. Why can't I handle it? Or this is nothing. Or I think we've also all thought, where we're like, I don't understand why they're so stressed about it. I've been through that same thing and it wasn't that big of a deal. And I think that's where we have to remember everybody's capacity for stress is different because everybody's story is different. And so when we have those moments where we want to make judgments on others or judgments on ourselves remembering that you know be present in that moment and you're not less than because you're struggling with stress. You're, you know, it doesn't take away from who you are, but remembering, okay, you do have practices that you can put in play to help manage this.

Elizabeth 44:49

Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh my gosh, I want to have you on speed dial just to like call you when I'm having a moment or a panic moment. And I'm just like, just walk me down, just, just breathe with me, please. Um, seriously. and you know, I had wrote down how competing thoughts are overwhelming and it's not even really a question. It's more of a statement like, yes, when your brain is going a thousand miles a minute and you're overwhelmed and you're stressed. It's going to be a little bit harder probably to kind of find the fine line or to find the light in the tunnel to get you out of whatever's going on. And that's where the grounding, the best practices, the toolkit that we're talking about, the resources, those will come in handy. but to me, I think. I am ADHD, so I frickin know thoughts and running amok is a problem I'm gonna have my whole life. So it's just like for me, it's like the awareness of knowing that, okay, that that's normal. That's no longer a something's wrong with me. That's just normal. And then it's like knowing it's normal. So that gives me that grace because I agree grace, guilt, shame or guilt and shame are are heavily associated with stress, and those two emotions are so strong, and they're so negative. And, speaking from my own experience, like, those have kept me in the gutter so much longer. But, having this self awareness, getting through those things, like, when it's happening, okay, I'm a little dysregulated. How do we ground? I'm very sensitive to that now. Like, don't you dare dysregulate me. Especially if there was no reason to, just being

Rosa 46:15

Yeah, because it's so precious to you because you know what it feels like. And especially, you know, with my ADD and ADHD friends, it's like that duality of I need structure and then like, don't put me in a box. Right. You like, I want this one. And so it's like, okay, how, yeah.

Elizabeth 46:29

there's my

Rosa 46:29

Right. Like how to both exist at the same time.

Elizabeth 46:31

Yep.

Rosa 46:33

those little habits that, that work for you. I will say my sister's also, uh, ADHD and she's done really good about, putting things into play. That work for her, right? Tools and things that work for her. And it's funny that I have learned so much from her and from, um, some other friends who are also ADD and ADHD. Simple things like, uh, they jokingly call it the ADHD tax. Right? Where you're like, I bought fresh vegetables and fresh fruits and then I put them in my fridge never to be seen again. And so my sister, for example, is like, I know for myself, I have to pay more. So that's where like the tax comes in. I know I have to pay more. To already buy pre cut fruit. Because I'm not going to come home and cut up the strawberries or put the blueberries away or cut up the pineapple. It's just going to sit and rot and now I have moldy, pineapples or cantaloupes on my, um, counter. And so it's like little things like that where you learn things about yourself. What supports you, what healthy habits can you get into and not just food healthy habits but just life healthy habits. that help create that structure, but also allow room for, spontaneity. Yeah.

Elizabeth 47:50

kind of segues into like the last part of the conversation I wanted to have about bigger goals, breaking those down, but when you're talking about the low hanging fruit and I was also thinking about the high achievers and, all, everything that you were saying, and for me with my ADHD, but, not even just about ADHD, but like, I have a full time job, sure, yes, but I'm trying to grow my podcast. I'm trying to get into speaking, as you know, because you've been such a great resource. But like, that's a lot of different things. One, literally taking mental awareness of everything I'm doing. Believe it or not, I don't do, and I'm trying to work on that because I didn't realize how much that affects me. Like actually recognizing how much you're doing because while I'm doing it, I'm not thinking about that because I think, Oh, I don't have the volume numbers yet. I don't have this yet. I don't have that. But technically I'm trying to do three completely different things on top of my friends and my husband and my family and like, you know, sleeping, eating. So it's overwhelming. So the mental awareness is so important, but also like being mindful of my tasks and making sure this is what I've started to do. Add in easy ones. I will purposefully add in easy ones because it's like a dopamine high to scratch something off because I went so long with not scratching things off because I was trying to do 5, 000 things and that's not possible to do in one day.

Rosa 49:05

if you just have to write something on the list that you've already done just for the satisfaction of crossing it off. Right. And it, and it's, and it's so true so especially with my mindfulness based stress reduction training, it really helped like Mindfulness is already integrated in yoga teacher training, meditation. It's all kind of a part of the yamas and the niyamas and getting into the eight limbs of yoga and everything. But, what I try to teach is like an undertone of mindfulness and essentially is mindfulness is being present on purpose, but without judgment. So it's two, two hard parts, right? Too simple, but not easy parts. Pay attention on purpose. being fully present and then, you know, without the judgment. And so to the part where you're like, okay, we start off with expectations of wanting to be at a hundred already. We have to remember, okay, but we just got to start with step one and then step two and step three and that we have to go through the steps. And as much as we just want it to be done and finished already, that's not how life works. And so that's the, the mental awareness that comes through of like, how can I do these tasks mindfully? It's not necessarily having to put in this, Whole new practice because whenever I bring up mindfulness or try to integrate mindfulness, I'm like, I know you're already trying to do everything You listed off right? I'm trying to get enough sleep. I'm trying to do well my job. I'm trying to be a good partner I'm trying to be a good, you know Daughter, I'm trying to like, you know, be a good friend and when I'm like, yeah, but have you heard about mindfulness? They're like Rosa, please. I'm already no stop.

Elizabeth 50:34

I'm not journaling.

Rosa 50:34

my entire like yeti full of water, right? Yeah, I don't want to journal. I hate writing all these things and and so I tell people You It's not this whole additional practice. It's an addition. It's a complimentary thing to something that you're already doing. And when you give yourself small opportunities to be mindful, it allows you to see the full picture, I think, a little bit better. And that can help you. Succeed and show you the pathway to different goals because you can see, all right, this needs to take place. This needs to take place. This needs to take place. But because when we talk about goals, the, the thing that we want is the outcome, right?

Elizabeth 51:14

Right.

Rosa 51:14

We're attached to that emotional feeling it's going to give me when I have achieved this. Right. And so that is what if we could hold on to that, that is what propels us and keeps us satiated through the goals because it's going to be hard you're going to start and stop. You're going to have setbacks. You're going to have things that don't go the way that you want it to be. But how do you keep that feeling? Present and that is what, keeps us going. I'm an Enneagram eight and I'm jealous of all my ones and threes who like, they're like this goal, got it. I just want to go for it. Cause I'm like, I also let's start off real strong. We're just start off real strong together. But then I might get a little tired along the way I need that reinvigorating like multiple times throughout the way. I'm just as determined as you are, but my timeline's a little different. And so I have to put checks and balances in for myself for this as well, but keep breaking it down and then giving those moments of opportunity to be mindful throughout our day. it's just so beneficial and it helps to, You keep using the word grounding, which I really love. It helps to kind of keep you grounded in that when things get overwhelming, just be where your feet are because that's all you can do in that moment. You can't be anywhere else except for exactly where you are

Elizabeth 52:29

And you say that and despite what your brain is telling you

Rosa 52:32

Oh yeah.

Elizabeth 52:32

can still do that because I don't know with PTSD trauma and the unmanaged stress, and maybe you haven't made it to burnout, but you're on your way to burnout. Like everything in you is going to say, no, you don't have time. You can't do this. No. You can take the five minutes to breathe, to ground, to just exist. And I bet if you can do that just for five minutes in that chaos, you will come back more, more calm, more reserved. Maybe not a hundred percent, but you're not going to be like this. Like, if you breathe for five minutes and ground, if you come back like this, maybe you have a back issue. You know what I mean? It's going to relax a little bit. It is.

Rosa 53:10

it's interesting because when people notice the patterns, a lot of people will be like, Oh, I'm laying in bed at night and that's when my brain starts going and all the ideas and all the things, or I'm in the shower, I get tons of my best ideas in the shower, or I'm driving in the car and you know, you kind of disassociate and you get to where you are and you're like, I don't remember that drive at all. That doesn't feel safe. How many stoplights? I don't know. Who knows? I'm just here. I went from here to

Elizabeth 53:34

more often than I'd like.

Rosa 53:36

Well, and the reason behind that again to kind of bring the science into it is because in those moments You're not using your executive function. So your brain actually has the capacity To problem solve because it's kind of like, you know when you're shoving something that's not fitting. It's not fitting It's not fitting if you like back up for a little bit maybe it's just like pivot like Ross from friends then things can kind of go up, but I tell people, you know, if you get your best ideas in moments of rest, because that's essentially what it is that you're finally giving yourself a moment. What if you could do that intentionally? And that comes through mindfulness practices that comes from through meditation practices. but when we don't do that, We are trying to lay in bed and we're getting, you know, all these downloads and all these analyzing of all the things that we said or could have said or fake arguments or future arguments that we're coming up with and then That's when we feel that anxiousness start to creep in and that's the perfect example of your brain not knowing the difference between a perceived and perceived threat and an actual threat, right? These things that are happening aren't actually happening right in front of you, but your brain is creating those scenarios and your body is activating as if those scenarios are actually happening.

Elizabeth 54:46

That's such a good

Rosa 54:47

And so you kind of have to give yourself the opportunity to be like, okay, where can I give myself five to 10 minutes? It doesn't have to be a full 30 minutes. It doesn't have to be a full ritualistic practice. It can just be as simple as I'm going to sit here. I'm going to put my hands on the table. I'm going to close my eyes or soften my gaze. And I'm just going to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth five times and then let that be. But those little touch points throughout the day, it can be just as small like that, but very impactful. I always tell people something is better than nothing. Your body's going to benefit.

Elizabeth 55:22

All of what you're saying, what we're talking about, like that is all of the mentality, the mindset, the tools that you take to break down larger projects, dreams, ambitions, whatever, into smaller tasks to make them attainable. I feel like because it can be overwhelming, right? like, if you want to build a house, you're not just going to go build the house that day. Like you got to clear the land, you got to make sure the land's level, then you got to establish the foundation, then you can make sure the foundation saw there's no cracks in the foundation, then you start to build the framework. Like you don't start with the roof, you don't start with the windows, you got to build it. And like, As somebody who has, like, my podcast was a huge dream, so it took me, I had to get through my mental shit and my mental health whatever, whatever, my mental health journey to be able to be in a space to do it. And I didn't realize that, I was in such a bad place mentally, but like my brain was like, you're less than, because you haven't started this thing. My brain wasn't noticing oh, like, we're not okay. It was just like what I wasn't doing. And. I was able to do the podcast once I was okay, once I was grounded, I'd gotten my foundation right. And then you just, you build on. And I mean, when I launched this, was I a hundred percent? No, I was probably more like 75, 70%. I am. I am now a hundred percent. Like you just, you get better at it. I feel like,

Rosa 56:41

You start, you start imperfectly and you'll, all the, cause we can, you know, have excuses until the cows come home, but it's the thing where it's like, okay, can I get it mostly there and then start and then figure it out along the way. That has been one of the biggest lessons I have learned along my life's journey is that, Everything is made up. Most people like they're barely decent at what they're doing, but they're figuring out along the way numbers aren't real. Nothing's real, right? If we want to get to an existential crisis, um, journey, so, but it is one of those things where it's like, you can get out of your head a little bit and be like, I'm figuring it out. Just like everybody else is like, everybody had to start from someplace and. I have learned so much of that from having my daughter. She is a beautiful practice of, reminders of mindfulness because she, a little new human, right? She's literally learning everything for the first time. And the awe that I see in her sometimes is just so inspiring because she'll be fascinated by a dead bug. Right on the ground or a blade of grass or the way that the clouds are drifting through the sky and it's those Really sweet moments where I can be like wow those clouds actually are really pretty and we would get to have those connection moments But how often do we actually get to sit and look and just be in awe of? things around us And kids are so good for dogs are also so good for that to be able to just like bring us down to those moments that we forget that we're allowed to stop and truly smell the roses anytime we want. But we're always in a hurry. And what are we constantly rushing for?

Elizabeth 58:25

Right. Yeah. One life. Talking about being existential. So we got one life. Like, stop installing the broses. Be at peace. My of

Rosa 58:33

big dreams go after them, but enjoy the journey.

Elizabeth 58:37

Yes. Because you're going to get there. You've already dreamed it. Claim it. Just trust you're going to get there. That's, that's definitely

Rosa 58:44

Yeah. And your house analogy was very poignant since I'm literally in the middle of that right now. So I was like, yes, all the things you do have to do all the things, but I have this vision and this like, you know, there's drawing of what this house is going to look like when it's all done. And then through any week, I go through multiple highs and lows of being like, I can do it. I'm my best cheerleader and being like, I'm, this isn't going to work. There's not going to be an, we're just going to run out of money. And we're like, people aren't going to do the thing, you know? And. And it's sitting with those feelings and kind of going through them and be like, nope, just control what you can control. And we just, we push on. Yeah.

Elizabeth 59:22

listening who may be struggling with stress, chronic stress, intrusive thoughts, because that's definitely a, a friend of unmanaged stress, intrusive, intrusive thoughts. Believe it or not. And I'm saying this as somebody who never would have thought this could happen, but the more you work on everything that Rosa and I have talked about, but definitely what Rosa has shared. Believe it or not, your inner narrative will become more positive. Believe it or not, you won't have as much imposter syndrome. Believe it or not, when those things happen, you can snap out of it before your body can even catch up. So I promise you, you may be hearing this going, I can't do that. There's no way. I can't. I cannot stop a smell the roses. Like I can't even like see the roses. I'm going so fast. I promise you, you can. It does take effort, but it is a fight, it is an effort that's worth it because the amount of mental peace I have found is amazing. And guess what? With it, I have been able to accomplish tenfold what I could have before.

Rosa 1:00:19

And it's called a practice for a reason, right? And it is, it's a continuous journey. I recently got to lead part of a workshop that was goal setting and it was just a very quick, like, 15 minute practice where we had our goal, we wrote down all of our things and then I had them turn to the person next to them and share it, but share it in a way as if I've asked them They've already accomplished it, right? Like,

Elizabeth 1:00:41

Ooh, I love

Rosa 1:00:42

example, I have already, I've already built my house. I've already built my dream house and the energy in the room, you could feel it truly rise. And then I kind of brought them back to it because I was seeing everybody being like, yeah, girl, you do it. Like you got this, you know, like very encouraging. And I brought them back to it and said, you know, as encouraging as you were to this stranger, I want you to flip it and think about your own goal here. And how do you speak to yourself about this goal? Because you would not have told this stranger, That's a dumb idea. Like, you're never gonna do that. Or, well, maybe good luck. I'm sure you'll start, but you won't finish it. Right? All the things that we go on in our head. We would never say that to them, but we have that internal dialogue and so much more. I joke with people. It's really hard to hurt my feelings cause I'm very good at hurting my own. And so how do you, how do we manage that? Right? Because the way that we talk about ourselves, our body listens. If you're not going to say it to friends, if you're not going to say it to people that you care about, Don't say it to yourself because you need to love yourself and care for yourself. And, and think of somebody, um, once shared this practice where they were like, they pretended that they were talking to their 10 year old version. Like, would you say that to 10 year old you? You're like, absolutely not. Right. As your adult version, you would be encouraging, you would be loving and it's a reminder to do it to yourself. And then when you notice those negative thought patterns that come through, um, Honoring them and saying like, haha, thank you so much. Um, I see what you're doing and I'm not here for it and kind of try to put that kibosh on it and just rewire some of that. Right? And so when we say like, I, I'll never be able to do this, right? It'd be like, well, I have, I'm not able to do it yet. Or I have these things that I have to learn along the way. And so it's kind of reframing it that puts a positive twist on it, but still honoring those, those thoughts because they're always going to be with us, right? They're allowed to be along the, in the car with us. But you're in the control, you're in the driver's seat. And if they get too loud, maybe you got to put them in the back seat, play quiet mouse for a little bit, but they're still going to be there. And so it's just having that self awareness of when we start to go down that negative thought pattern.

Elizabeth 1:02:59

this is a reminder that you do have the control even if you're like reorganizing the thoughts you can do it Hmm, that was such a great note to end on and I was gonna say this I just did an episode like two weeks ago, I think That was about this because I did an exercise with one of my friends and It was like a positive affirmation kind of self talk exercise and I I got emotional because sure, I think these things here and there like, oh, you're working hard. It's like being so specific. In the accolade, in the positive talk, just being so specific, like you, like you hit it, the compliment you give the stranger, giving it to yourself. There is so much power in that. And I mean, as somebody who has come through so much shit and like worked on myself, like it's, I, I'm just like, wow, I'm always learning new things. Cause like, sure I can manage this or I can, when I'm feeling a certain way, I can like gauge up. Yeah. I'm hitting my limit and I'm not saying I, I stop always, sometimes I, I accidentally pass go, skip go and I keep going straight to jail kind of thing, but giving yourself the compliment that you would give a stranger that you would give your 10 year old self, I think is the best piece of advice that is so important.

Rosa 1:04:08

And sometimes too, it'll even feel like, you're lying to yourself, right? Because your body feels like it'll reject it, but it's like, nope. It's because your body will be like, Hmm, I don't think you, you and I both, you know, that I know that, you know, it's not true. Right. And so you have to be like, yes, but we are, we are working through this.

Elizabeth 1:04:29

And that is, that's part of it. So when, when you feel that rejection, ah, you know what? I got it. But guess what? We are good enough. We did do this one thing. I mean, hell, just catch yourself that you caught yourself in the thought. Like that is the call out because to me, all those little things add up. It may sound exhausting and I don't mean for it to be exhausting. You're not always on guard in your head, but you know what I mean? Like it is, it is worth the call out is that is so powerful. So, man, I can only imagine like the workshops and, and, and activations and all the things that you do, like everyone leaves like on a high afterward, just like, wow, I'm going to go check over the world. Gosh.

Rosa 1:05:06

That happy tears, sad tears, all the feelings,

Elizabeth 1:05:10

Yeah.

Rosa 1:05:11

but yeah.

Elizabeth 1:05:12

I love that. So, my last very question before we kick things off. Wrong end of the episode, Liz. Before we close things out.

Rosa 1:05:21

Kick me out.

Elizabeth 1:05:23

Goodness. Um.

Rosa 1:05:25

slip. She's like, we're done here.

Elizabeth 1:05:26

We're done. Goodbye. End recording. Um, sorry. You've reached my voicemail. No, I'm just kidding. what is, I mean, you've given so much advice, but what is a piece of advice that you live by to manage your stress? If that's even possible, like to summarize.

Rosa 1:05:42

the number one, well, I guess kind of two is that stress and chaos are inevitable. And it helps because when you can kind of expect things and when you can kind of be like, I know things are going to happen, it helped being not caught off guard as much when you're like, it's just life, stress, chaos. It's inevitable. Things are going to happen. Life is going to life, like we said earlier. but. having that awareness that it's, you know, this is not to contradict myself, but you know, that not everything is always sunshine and rainbows, but there's so much good, but there is stress, there's chaos and that's going to happen. And so that's kind of one of the rules or one of the things that I'm like, you know, it's going to do it. Let's roll with the punches. And then the second thing that is so important that I don't feel like nearly enough do that I do for myself is Just like companies have mission statements and core values, define those for yourself. if you don't have your North Star, it's really easy to get off your path, shiny object syndrome. And so I created three for myself that really helped me stay on track, help me make decisions. So when things do come up, I can say this is a hell yes, or this is a hell no. And my three are family, freedom and flexibility, make a shit ton of money and do good in the world.

Elizabeth 1:07:01

I love that.

Rosa 1:07:02

And so with opportunities come up as I navigate through my life, they have to kind of be in one of those things. And people don't give themselves the opportunity to sit and be like, what do I really stand for? What do I really believe? How do I want to navigate throughout life? And I think it's just makes things so much easier That's why companies have them, right? So if somebody goes, this company, what do they stand for? Who are they? It can be like, Oh, it's right here. And so having something like that defined for yourself, I think is going to be one of the best things that helps really manage that stress because you can see what things align with this. What things do I maybe need to let go of that aren't aligning with my own personal core values? What am I saying yes to that I just said yes to but I really don't want to do this, it doesn't bring me joy. It actually like is a much more, bigger stressor than, you know, what I want it to be. And then kind of, allow life to flow that way.

Elizabeth 1:07:53

I love that. All right, everybody. So now we're going to, once we're done, you're done listening to this episode, we're all going to go home and we're going to write down our core values because, uh, yeah,

Rosa 1:08:02

make your core values. Do it with your family too, because I think you should have your own. You should have your own personal goals or your own personal core values. And then I feel like as a family unit to have them as well. So

Elizabeth 1:08:12

I agree. I, I mean, cause the whole testament behind why you'd have them

Rosa 1:08:16

I have a really great digital workshop, not to like plug, but I'm going to plug, called the line and chief at school setting and vision boarding, but

Elizabeth 1:08:22

Oh, I love that.

Rosa 1:08:23

is going through and helping to set your mission statements, set your core values and then do what is my personal favorite. One of my favorites is a wheel of life to be like, um, Do just check in where you are. Where do you want to be? Where do you need to scale up? Where do you need to scale back? Scaling back's my favorite. And so it kind of just brings people through a self guided journey.

Elizabeth 1:08:42

okay. So we'll make sure that we link that in the show notes. Is that on your website?

Rosa 1:08:45

my shame, that's my shameless plug.

Elizabeth 1:08:46

No, I love it. So is that on your website? If, uh, send me the link so I can make sure I can check it

Rosa 1:08:51

I'll send you the link because it's buried because I do a lot of my own stuff and so, you know, I don't do it all properly.

Elizabeth 1:08:58

I bet it, I mean, your website

Rosa 1:08:59

It's, it's in, it's in there somewhere, but I'll send you the direct link just to make life easier.

Elizabeth 1:09:03

Please do. Please do. Um, well, that was a wonderful note to end on. Thank you so much, Rosa. This has been so encouraging and just. I mean, it's all things that I'm passionate about, but it's, it's just, it's good to hear like I, the core values, I definitely want to go assess that. It makes sense. Like the CEO of you, like, what do you stand for? and like no more survival mode, like fight or flight. There's a reason for that, but not everything is surrounded by mountain lions. So that's just

Rosa 1:09:30

Close the loop.

Elizabeth 1:09:31

close the loop. I love that. Oh my gosh. You're amazing.

Rosa 1:09:37

Uh, thank you so much for having me. This was so fun. I feel like this could be like 15 hours long if we

Elizabeth 1:09:41

Oh, for sure. It's like a 15 part series. Let's do it. Please. I'm like, okay, so now let's get

Rosa 1:09:45

We're just gonna, we'll put on a retreat so everybody can just hear us talk. Yeah.

Elizabeth 1:09:48

So you thought this episode was over, but now we're getting into goal setting. No, I'm just kidding. Uh, and vision board planning is next. I love it. So where could everyone find you if they wanted to come, you know, check you out and follow for best practices and feedback and things like that.

Rosa 1:10:03

Yes. So I love to connect on my Instagram, which is just a wellbeing with Rosa. And, uh, it's kind of scattered because, you know, I, well, I have a perfectly curated page when you could just have all sorts of spontaneous things that you just feel like posting.

Elizabeth 1:10:19

I'm the

Rosa 1:10:19

and then from the work, yeah, from the workplace point of view, it's a workplace stress solutions. co.

Elizabeth 1:10:25

Love it. So any of my, my corporate girlies listening who are leaders, we all know that y'all need that in your corporate structure. So call your girl Rosa because clearly she does what she's saying. I love it. Oh,

Rosa 1:10:37

yes, and if any interest in having me speak on anything just Rosa Castano calm really make it easy But we'll put all that I'm sure in the show notes because that's a lot of stuff to keep track of

Elizabeth 1:10:46

No, you need to memorize it right now. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Oh, goodness.

Rosa 1:10:51

exactly pull it up on your tab.

Elizabeth 1:10:54

I'm obsessed. Well, everyone listening, you can watch this episode on YouTube at the inbetween podcast. You can hear it wherever you get your podcast because if you're listening to it, clearly you're, you're, you're listening to it. And then you can follow me at in between pod and Elizabeth Cheney underscore on Instagram. And you'll find me and Rosa just hanging out. You know, building houses and killing stress because that's the way the cookie crumbles. Oh my goodness.

Rosa 1:11:17

There we go

Elizabeth 1:11:17

time, until our 15 part web series, I guess I will, I'll let you go and I'll see you next time.

Rosa 1:11:24

See you next time. Thank you

Elizabeth 1:11:26

Bye.