In-Between: New Year New Me

I'm back baby! Yes, I've returned to my podcast, addressing my impromptu hiatus and sharing the life changes I've been navigating. When your life implodes, you give up control (for the time being). I speak candidly about emotional turmoil, the importance of letting go of control, and how I've managed my mental health through the process. We close the episode out with catching-up on pop culture moments, including my thoughts on the Luigi United Healthcare incident, Martha Stewart's documentary, the drama surrounding 'It Ends With Us,' and a glowing review of the 'Wicked' movie. Spoiler alert: Ariana SLAYED!

I'm so happy to be back. Here's to 2025!

00:00 Welcome Back to the Podcast!

00:57 Addressing the Hiatus

01:55 Life Updates and Manifestations

04:40 Letting Go of Control

08:03 Coping Mechanisms and Self-Care

10:45 Community and Support

12:22 Affirmations and Positive Self-Talk

19:56 Pop Culture Catch-Up

25:58 Final Thoughts and Future Plans

Connect with me:
https://in-between.co
@in.betweenpod on Instagram
@elizabethcheney_ on Instagram
@theinbetweenpodcast on TikTok
The In-Between Podcast on YouTube

Transcript

Elizabeth: 0:06

Well, well, well, look who's back on the podcast. Yes, your girl Elizabeth is back here on the in between. I am so happy you're here. If I gathered you as a fan while I was on hiatus, welcome to the podcast. Welcome to my, my schtick, my spiel, my creative outlet, whatever you want to call it. My, my inner journal. That's honestly, I feel like what it is. Um, my platform to think that I'm important and to spread good juju. Thank you. But anyways, it is great to be back. It's kind of a mixed bag of emotions. All great, all excited, a little nervous, a little, do I still have my mojo? Um, really it's more so, do I still remember how to edit this thing? So if you're listening to this, that means she figured it out. Hopefully there was not additional blood, sweat and tears. Um, cause I've had enough of those lately. So, We're going to catch up a little bit. We're going to kiki, we're going to talk about things. Uh, but I first want to address the elephant in the room, which was said hiatus. Yes, I am quite aware of my friends that I Irish goodbye to us. Um, not my best move and not something I would typically do, especially me being a control freak, But my life imploded. That is the easiest way I can describe it. And. I'm not going to get into everything. Eventually, one day, I'm going to share all of the truths, all of the things. but right now, because I am very much in said situation, implosion, all the things, I feel like I'm nervous rambling now. All the things? How many times have I said that? Uh, but jokes aside, I'm still very much dealing with a bunch of life stuff at the moment. I don't say that to be ambiguous and weird. Y'all know I'm an open book. That's what makes me, me. But right now, I gotta keep some things close to the chest. But I was itching to be back on the podcast. I missed it so much. I mean, I love this thing. And 2025 is going to be the year that we full send. Not that I wasn't full sending before, but like all of the plants, okay, you know, not plants, all of the seeds I was planting in 2024 are going to come to fruition in 2025. At least that's what I'm manifesting and by God. I believe in myself. So we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna claim that. Okay, okay. But I, I've been missing this. if you're watching this, you can see I kind of have a different background. It's a purple wall that I painted myself, which, well technically it's periwinkle, but who's counting? However, I did a really shit job at it. The, not great on the edges, but we're not gonna, we're not gonna show just how, just how bad I was. However, I haven't quite fully moved in. I'm gonna get different seats. Right now I'm just using my beautiful peacock chair. I'm going to have art on the walls, but new setting, new environment. So I was like, let's record the pod. So I'm so excited, but yeah, last time we talked, I had just bought a house. That was stressful. You know, everyone says buying a house is stressful and you know what? They're absolutely right. Do not be bamboozled unless you got mad money. you're gonna be fine. If you're not them, you're going to hate yourself. You're going to hate your life. But Hey, you know what, I was going to say, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but that would be um, what's the word that's kind of gaslighting myself. But what I was going to say is. Sometimes life doesn't go as smooth as you were hoping things happen. Speed, bumps, detours, u-turns even. And sometimes it's like all of those things at once. And you know, I joke about being a, a control freak and I've worked really hard on that. A lot of that comes from my anxiety growing up, this and this, that and that. Throwing the triple tourist thing, I'm sure that has some kind of influence, but I've always been kind of a planner and, um. Needing to kind of have everything figured out, to a fault. And I mean that by, my mom and I would go to like an amusement park. And I would have to like, kind of plan out the flow of the day. Okay, we're going to go to this section first, and then this section, because logistically this makes sense to me. And I ask my mother still, How did you not know I had anxiety growing up? But neither here nor there. There we go. So as a former control freak, now a new go with the flow ish, but have her shit together, human being that I am. I've grown a lot. And I think how I've been handling my life currently at the moment, leading up to this recording and then thereafter. I think the reason how I've survived is absolutely giving up control. So that's kind of what I want to talk about today a little bit. We're going to catch up on some pop culture moments because like, it's been a few months. So I wanted to start today's episode out just addressing the elephant in the room, which We're gonna call it my hiatus. My impromptu hiatus. Uh, my holiday. My holiday. There we go. Okay, I'm just, just rambling. See, it's been a minute, so this might be a little weird, even though it's not supposed to be. Um, but Letting go of control. So, without going into details, because, like I said, we're going to keep that close to the chest right now, and we'll talk about it later. Uh, but when your life implodes, and life implosions obviously vary by user. Just like when I say everyone's rock bottom is different. My life implodes. And I mean, upside down, everything you think, you know, is now changing or, or just chaos and confusion. And there's all these emotions and they're intense emotions and they're most of them are negative. Let's be real. lots of introspection, lots of just having to go, go into yourself. And part of why I went on hate us, if not, the main reason is I'm all about authenticity. And if I can't share what's going on in my life, especially when it is like sucking every single fiber of my being out of me in terms of energy and focus, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna half ass this thing because this thing is like my baby. It's like my dream. It's my, it's my soul. It's my me, right? So I could create fake content that truly wouldn't be me. And let's be real, I'm not going to do that. Or I could do what was most important, which was facing what was going on in my life. And moving into this house, dear goodness, that is like, you know, a whole thing in itself. So with that came the need to let go of control. Everything was such chaos. I had to live everything day by day, sometimes even moment by moment, figuring things out, asking tough questions, making extremely tough decisions, and then still second guessing yourself. Asking for advice, but then not wanting people to get in your head. Leaning on people, leaving on the ones you care about. And I realized part way through, I had to let go of control. And I had to trust that letting go of control, halting the podcast, stopping this, doing that, not focusing on, on working out every single day, whatever the case, I don't know why I specified that, but I had to trust that any disruption in my routine in life and everything that I was building and trying to work towards was still going to be there for me just because I had to stop and take care of myself and prioritize what was going on in my life doesn't mean that all of what I've been building towards and want and want to achieve and my goals aren't going to happen. Because I'd much rather come back with a friggin banger of an episode than give you just less than half of who I am. And maybe a few, you know, good one liners, because, you know, your girl's clever, I can't deny that. Letting go of true control. And I don't mean like, well, you know, I'm just going to spend my money everywhere, I'm not going to worry about what I eat, I'm just going to be an asshole to people. I don't mean that. I mean Letting go of the, all the hardcore plans all the to do's, and you tackle what is necessary for that moment, and maybe that day. Sometimes, oftentimes it was that moment. And so I wanted to share a little bit about, like, what was I doing, to, here I am turning the page looking at my notes, um, I wanted to share a little bit of how I've showed up for myself, when I had to just completely shut down. And shut down doesn't mean I didn't feel the feels. I'm still feeling the feels, I'm still processing. but, shutting down, letting go of control, letting go of what I think I need to do, what I thought I needed to do, which actually is the same sentence now that I say that. But what I expected out of myself, or what I thought other, well I guess more so, what I thought other people expected out of me, which what I'm going to give you a spoiler alert, nine and a half times out of ten, the expectations are all in your own head, ha ha ha. Will she learn that lesson eventually? I friggin hope so, because those expectations cause a lot of anxiety. If you know, you know. Okay. But showing up for myself, journaling like nobody's business. Um, journaling is something that I always wanted to get more into, um, especially because I, you know, I do want to write a book one day, books plural, who knows, but definitely one. Um, but as I've started to journal and it is definitely part of my routine and it's part of my wellness routine and self care routine, I noticed that I would get different perspectives when I would journal, different than even when I'm just, you know, sitting in my head, Which sitting in my head oftentimes isn't the best scenario because then you spiral all that fun jazz. But it's giving me different perspectives. And speaking of spiraling, pause, letting go of control. You'd think I'd be spiraling. I'd be losing my mind, second guessing all the things. However, in the chaos of letting go, I maintained a grip on my sanity and I didn't spiral. actually had really great positive self talk. I was able to combat any kind of spiraling. I'm proud of how I've managed everything, because when you're dealing with super intense emotions and just absolute chaos, Oh! You have to have a fortitude within yourself. Absolutely. So, journaling, I highly recommend it. It definitely helps get you, get your thoughts on paper. Well, obviously your thoughts on paper, but it helps you process your thoughts in a different way than even talking them out in therapy. I'm not gonna lie. I've been pulling my tarot cards. I'm not like a witchy person, but I love tarot cards. I believe in birth charts, all that kind of shit. Although I would say, I might have tarot card myself into a tizzy. The tarot cards have been something that have been very helpful and guiding in moments of Darkness, if I have to be dramatic, but seriously, low points. Uh, and it's all about just like connecting with yourself. So, I don't know. Take that with what you will, but that is something that's definitely helped me. talking to those I trust. I've always been very big on, I'm, I'm an open book for the most part. Except for this episode, I guess. But I, I love connecting with people. I love expressing myself. I love helping someone feel seen because any time those things happen to me, it helps me. It validates me, makes me feel good. And in this season of chaos, in this season of change, in this season of where do I go from here, even though I know where I'm going and that's just, I don't know, I'm going where my heart takes me, so to speak. But I'm so grateful for the people in my life, the community I have, family, friends, all of it. And also it's really cool to see some of the relationships that I made this past year and how those have played out, how they're playing out and, and where I think they're going to go this year. I have so many incredible people. I truly am so blessed. I don't know where I, I don't know how I would do without some of the people in my life. God, I really don't. You have to lean on your community. That is such a When you're going through tough shit, you've got to lean on your community. You can't get through it alone. And whether your community is a therapist, whether it's a chat board on Reddit, whether it's on Twitch streaming video games, I don't know. It's up to you. Where you find community and togetherness and comfort, that's on you just like your rock bottom is on you and just like your life implosions on you. It's all specific to you. So find your community. I've kind of dabbled in this already. Another thing that was helping me is affirmations that positive self talk, uh, when life is hell on earth and you're a mixed bag of all of these intense negative emotions. Part of your survival is you telling yourself that you are okay. You're going to be okay. You're going to get through whatever you're getting through. You're going to, you can do this. You can overcome any obstacle. You can overcome any challenge. You can overcome any life implosion. If you're familiar with tarot, you're familiar with the tower card. And if you're not familiar with tarot, maybe you've heard of, oh, you're having a tower moment in slang or something like that. Tower moment is like chaos, change. Your life is flipped upside down. And I believe every tower moment, not to take away from any pain it may cause, anguish, discomfort, whatever, all the things. But every tower moment changes you for the better. At least it can. Let me say that. How you navigate that tower moment, if you, you know, abide by your vices, and you, you know, fall more down the rabbit hole, and you don't get help, and you don't claw yourself out, maybe not. Maybe the tower moment is going to define you in a negative sense. Or you can let that tower moment evolve you. There's two different paths here. And it's okay if, if you take the evolve route, you, you filter back a little bit and you take three steps forward to take two steps back. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes you take two steps forward and five steps back. Don't freak out because as long as you're focused on moving forward, you're going to get there. So when you're having your tower moment affirmations help tower moments aren't permanent. Tower moments bring change. And almost always, as long as you keep like a positive mindset and you, and you focus on the task at hand and what you have to do to be the best version of you and what's best for you as well, you're going to get through it. I've been rereading untamed. That's another bullet on the list. Untamed, I will jokingly say is my Bible, although I'm not religious. I'm spiritual, as you all know if you've been listening to the podcast. If not, well, welcome, but we Respect everybody here But rereading untamed so healing. I kind of felt like Every time I needed a certain message or something At least like what was going on in my life at that moment Whenever I picked up the book that chapter that I say was exactly what I needed So, you know, thanks looking out universe, and this is also me claiming one day I will see and meet Lennon Doyle. She will be on the podcast and it will be beautiful and I will say hey, we're twins Don't know why but I just feel it kinship to you woman. I'm just kidding We are mirror images of each other. Oh Let's see. What else lists? Okay, so tackling things moment by moment day by day I was making to do lists almost every day, and I would put like maybe two things. And if I got those two things done, hell yeah. And if I got none of them done, well, I'm sure I got something done. Because, you know, I'm not making a plan here, I'm just trying to do what I gotta do. Put one foot in front of the other, take care of the responsibility things that I have to take care of, and then just trust the process. Uh, which, you know. Something I've gotten a lot better with, but definitely have struggled with in the past. So, I don't say this to act like I have figured it all out. I have not. She's just changing, evolving. another big thing, which I kind of have already mentioned a little bit, but reminding myself it's okay to be unanchored and just be. And. Although I am changing and I am not the person I was before, I'm a better version of myself. A more beautiful version of myself. Maybe one more authentic, you might say. A lot of the things, I mean, if not all the things that I've learned through this whole experience as I continue to learn in these experiences that I'm going through, I'm taking those things with me. And they help me, they help me with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, help me keep at top of mind the incredible person that I am, and the incredible gift I have to offer. Which kind of leads me to the final bullet of, uh, this, how I've shown up for myself, how do you handle life implosions, but positive self talk and combating intrusive thoughts. And believe it or not, the more you do that, the easier combating those intrusive thoughts is. I know that sounds crazy because there was definitely a point in my life not that long ago just a few short years where those intrusive thoughts which they are so convincing like that is the narrative that is the voice in your head like it's of course this is the truth and the reality and this is who I am or how I am or what I'm doing like of course because the intrusive thought told me believe it or not the more you combat those and when they start to happen you can just interject even if it's just a moment. Maybe it's a moment at first, but then it becomes a conversation with yourself. I know that sounds crazy, but hear me out. The more you do that, believe it or not, the intrusive thoughts become easier to overcome, to manage. Never, if you would have asked me a couple of years ago, if I was going through what I'm going through right now, would I be able to not completely spiral, derail myself and get into the deepest, darkest hole possible? I've been like, Oh yeah, no, I, that would, I can't imagine handling that. I can't handle that. I wouldn't be able to handle that. working on myself, learning the tools through therapy when I was depressed and all that, continuing to better myself, to continue to recognize and make sure I'm aware of my worth, and how wonderful I am, how incredible I am. And you all can, you all are the same thing, same way, so you can do the same thing. The more I do it, the easier it is. There's actually not a rocket science equation to figuring out your intrusive thoughts. Believe it or not, it's just loving yourself. Hmm. Where have I heard that before? Do do do do do do. But I'm going to be okay. As is life. I have become more of an existentialist in my later years. Don't worry, I'm still freaking young. At least I think I'm young. Um, I learned that apparently I'm no longer a young adult. That was a bitter, a bitter lesson. Pill to swallow, but I'm still young as far as I'm concerned and I'm still badass. Okay. Okay Not that being young makes you badass, but I'm just saying generally speaking. Uh, but all that said and done I'm gonna be okay I'm excited. I'm terrified. I'm scared of the unknown of the void of what's to come in my life But I've always said i'll bet on me If there's anybody i'm gonna bet on it's me So I'm going to channel that energy, that big E energy, big Elizabeth energy. And I'm going to trust that I'm going to be okay. Cause I've always got me. so there's the heavy tea. And like I said, we'll get more into things later alligator. Um, a few housekeeping things I do want to say because of said life implosion and all of the things going on right now. Um, as much as I would love to say that I can, I'm coming back strong and I'm going to be here every week. Maybe I will. We'll see. But in this season of life, I am currently learning to pace myself and not give myself these extreme expectations that hold, um, like that. I will kill myself to accomplish, but that's not, that's not fair. That's not cool. We don't want to be killing ourselves over here. So I'm going to definitely commit to bi weekly every two weeks. And if you're lucky, you'll get it every week. And this isn't forever. This is just for now. And I trust that come here soon, come in the next couple of weeks, months, you know, definitely before my birthday, we're going to be rocking and rolling. And gosh, who knows where the in between and me and all of the things are going to be. So. That's that. And, you know, hopefully I'll have more stuff behind and kind of get my, my vibe going here soon. So, all right, so enough about that. Let's quickly catch up on a few pop culture moments, things in the world that I absolutely want to talk about. First things first, and I had to really taper myself to make sure I didn't go down a spiral, but the Luigi guy, I don't even remember his last name because it's been so long, even though it hasn't been that long, but the guy with the UnitedHealthcare, if you're watching this, just look at my face. I have so much to say on that, but I don't want to, you know, ostracize myself from my audience. And I am a good person, and I want to respect everything that's happened. But, uh, I've got lots of thoughts, so if you have lots of thoughts on that situation, please DM me, because I would love to talk about it. I was going through it when it all happened. So I didn't really get to talk about with anybody. So, uh, please Send me your requests. I would love to talk about it There's also the Martha Stewart documentary. Um, oh If you are a badass woman and or man But definitely a badass woman. I highly encourage you to watch it whether you like her or your hater. You should watch it It was so inspiring. She is so Badass because watching Documentary you see her come up you see everything that she had against her as a woman in that time in that period of what was going on and To be the powerhouse of the brand that she was You Is OCD? I have no idea. Is she maybe a little ornery? A little anal? Uh, you know, there's some truth probably to that, but to have a brand the way that she did, I, you, you kind of have to have a tight ship. And let me tell you, there's a reason I don't have a co host, because this is me. I control the brand. And I say that like I'm so polished, but, whatever. But, all this to say, like, she was the Martha Stewart, the brand, the living legend. Yeah, if I were her and I was paying everybody's checks, I'd want things done a certain kind of way, duh. But there were so many good little nuggets of wisdom and just, I mean, she was on Wall Street. Back in, I obviously don't remember the decade, maybe 70s, 80s? I don't know. I cannot remember, but 90s? Somewhere around there. It was when Wall Street definitely didn't have women on it. Not that it has a humongous population of that now, but It was just so badass. Like, I, yeah, I'm kind of rambling now. Highly recommend Martha Stewart documentary. Um, let's see. There's also the ends with us drama, which is still fairly new. And I just want to say, I think I talked smack, about it. A little back before the hiatus and I do want to say I apologize. I was on his side and now it makes sense because he Hosted a fantastic takedown campaign, PR campaign to take down Blake Lively. And, you know, I still stand by my comments that she's not the best actress, but you know what? I support you, girl. If what went down went down, that is some fuck shit. And also, screw that guy for being a narcissistic creepo. I don't know, butthead. I don't know why I said creepo. Yeah, creepo. Asshole. And, uh, making a lot of us believe that he was innocent. Narcissists. It's hard to point them out. When you do, you know, the final thing, the biggest thing, and I, I will jokingly say this is part of how I know I'm not a, I am a different person now because something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. I'm done. Okay, please. I just got so tickled. Who can name that? Yes, I'm talking Wicked. Wicked changed me. It unlocked the theater girl in me that has been dormant for a while. I say that, but I have a podcast and I am literally a walking cartoon character, but oh my gosh, was it as good as I thought it was going to be? It was better. Here's the big thing, and I will absolutely eat my words. Ariana Grande slayed. She killed it. Give that woman an Oscar, give her all the awards. That, oh my gosh. I mean, Cynthia DeGray too. Of course she did. I mean, she crushed Elphaba, she gave Elphaba a different sense other than what, you know, we are used to from Idina Menzel and all the ways we've seen it on the, the production play, Broadway stage, but she killed it. Cynthia was great. But Ariana, oh my gosh. I remember talking shit and I was like, she can't enunciate, how is she gonna do theater? Um and let me just fangirl for half a moment. Glinda is like a character character, like, ah, you know, it's a, I don't even know what that means, but she's a character character. Like, Elphaba is more serious, more of like a, someone we probably know in our life. If not, we are an Elphaba. And I'm not saying we don't have Glindas in our life, or we know other Glindas, but Glinda is, you know, she's a character. She's Cutesy. She's like Elle Woods in the Oz world. You get what I'm saying? So to be a character character and still crush that character and then also bring this depth and empathy and emotion because y'all that first song, no one mourns the wicked. That's why I started crying. Her frigging eyes in that scene, man, she blew me away. So what was my favorite part of that movie besides the whole movie? Freaking Ariana Grande. Also, Jonathan Bailey. There is no role he can't do. Also, that man is gay and if he doesn't make every woman, straight woman, that, at least at that, swoon and just, I don't know. I don't know who does, but he killed it. So, I loved Wicked. Wicked was great. I bought it as soon as it came out on, like, digital streaming. I've watched it at least three times since. And I cannot wait for part two. It's probably going to emotionally wreck me, just like the first one did. For good. When the two of them sing that together, oh, my goodness. It won't be a dry eye in the house. So that's, that's that. Well that's all she wrote today. It's been really great being here with you guys, being back in it, being back in the swing of things. Um, and like I said, I'm going to try to come back next week, but it might be two weeks from now, and you know, let's just throw out the very, very slim chance of three weeks, but we're going to get through it. We can do hard things. Literally the mantra I have said over and over and over again to myself the past couple of months. But we can do hard things. So if you're new here and you're not doing so already, you can follow me on social medias, TikTok at the Inbetween Podcast, YouTube at the Inbetween Podcast, which this episode will be there. Hello, YouTube. And then you can follow me on Instagram at in. betweenpod, and my personal at elizabethcheney underscore. So I am looking forward to 2025. Uh, the, the words I chose this year, I picked three because I couldn't choose becoming possibility and expansion. So let's see how those play out. until then, I hope you have a fabulous rest of your day, week, month, whatever you are doing. And I will see you next time on an all new episode of the in between. I'm Elizabeth. Bye!