Sometimes It's The Hope That Carries You Through

Good things come to those that wait, and we're is BACK with an episode that will leave you giggling and loving yourself a little bit more. This is one of first episodes in a while where I felt like myself again. 

From Goodwill dopamine rushes, the house finally coming together, teases about me and Ashleighanna's Norway episode (and our next European vacay), and the most hilarious single girl hijinks video to date, there is quite a lot to giggle over. 

We also get into my favorite past time, musings on living as your authentic self, embracing your vulnerability, and why hope is the most powerful thing you can hold on to at times. 

This episode made me smile - I feel like myself again, but this time better, more capable, more sure, more me. I hope (see what I did there) you enjoy it as much as I did. 

Connect with me:
https://in-between.co
@in.betweenpod on Instagram
@elizabethcheney_ on Instagram
@theinbetweenpodcast on TikTok
The In-Between Podcast on YouTube

Transcript

Elizabeth: 0:06

Well, well, well, we are back for another episode of the In-Between. I'm your host, Elizabeth Cheney. It's been a few weeks, apparently getting back in a routine is a lot harder than it looks. Butti. The season of slowing down and taking one thing at a time and not trying to do everything all at once, it continues. Uh, I will say that the, it's gonna get harder before it gets better. Part of my recent journey is almost over, so snaps. Snaps for new beginnings, onward and upward. I feel like I've said that 5,000 times in the past. God knows how many months, but that's okay. All in due time. All in due time, and you know. As someone who is a self labeled control freak or you know, I should say a former control freak because if there's anything this whole experience has given me, it's the ability to let go of control and just ride the wave. And if I can continue on the cheesy, uh, ride that wave of life anyways, I'm very excited to be back. I feel like there's so much to update you on, but then at the same time, my life is boring because I'm incubating. That's what I, I told a friend earlier today. I'm in my incubator period. Um, my cocoon period. If we continue with the butterfly I metaphor, which I always love to bring up. So life is lifeing. Life is getting better. I mean, life is great. Life is beautiful. I definitely believe that. But the light at the end of the tunnel, I'm there. I can feel the sunshine. I think I even said this on the last episode, which was. However many weeks ago. But I'm excited. I'm excited for all of the, the things that are coming up in my life. All of the new things I get to experience. Uh, the Renaissance continues the rediscovery of who I am. Not so much who am I,'cause I know who I am, but the rediscovery of. Knowing who I am and getting to just completely be my authentic self. That's exciting. And for anyone who is not living their authentic life, their authentic self, uh, get on that because that's the only way to live. Let me tell you the freedom. The freedom that comes with being authentic and living authentically is definitely worth it. It's worth the cringe, it's worth the anxiety, it's worth whatever hurdle is in front of you. So I implore you, yes, go. Didn't think this episode was gonna start on such an existential note, but it's me. So. You're the one listening to the podcast and you know what you're getting into when you listen to it. But anyways, let's see. Let's talk about some small updates, things like that. One, I went Goodwill Hunting, if that's even the right way to describe Goodwill. Uh, this past weekend with a friend, she is like a goodwill extraordinaire, and I need a bajillion frames for the bajillion pieces of art that I have gathered over the past few years. So we go and let me tell you. It was like a dopamine high. I mean the crack daddy jackpot of frames. I bought so many things, half the frames. I'm not even gonna take the pictures out because I really like the pictures that came with it. So I only made my problem worse and I measured most of the art that I needed. But I was so. Excited, slashed, I'll be honest, overwhelmed at the same time in Goodwill, I didn't really measure the frames. I was like, oh, of course I have. I have pictures this size and art this size because I have so much I have to frame. Well, would you believe it that out of the frames that I actually bought as frames, not the ones I'm gonna keep the art, only like a third of them actually fit pieces of art that I had. So back to the drawing board on that. And I'm probably going to have to take. The non, the frames that did not work back to Goodwill. So there is a full circle moment right there buying secondhand. Anyways, that's okay. It was still exciting and I got some other stuff there, uh, for my house. That was really cool. And I will say, I think my house is really coming along and pray to God. All of the big ticket purchases, all the big things I have to buy and like this for the handyman. This with the yard. Because my yard is atrocious. Uh, didn't know that there are spring weeds that are different than fall weeds. I mean, I'm very ignorant when it comes to any kind of plant care, lawn care included. And my entire backyard. That was all Rock like this like. Gravel, pebble landscaping stuff when I bought the house in October is now covered in very tall weeds. It's, uh, a mini Jurassic park out there, if you will. So, yeah, but I'm getting that all handled this weekend, so I'm, my yard will look beautiful. I cannot wait. So hopefully I'll have a housewarming party in the next month or so. But yeah, things are on the up and up, the incubator, the cocoon period. I can feel my, my, my wings starting to break through, assuming that's how a butterfly breaks out. Um, I don't think I've actually watched one of those videos of like a butterfly coming outta a cocoon, so we're just gonna roll with it. It's the wings I'm coming out be anyways, on that note, I know, uh, but the house is coming along hopefully no more. Spending so much money, that would be great because. Your girl is in wanderlust. Is that the term used for like one to travel all the time? I just booked my second huge trip of the year with Ashley Anna. You know, she's my best friend and also my travel buddy, so you know, why not, why not? This is gonna be a pretty big trip and we've only booked like the very first parts and there's like a few other pieces and connecting locations that I need to research a little bit more. She's researching and we gotta kind of figure out our flow, but it's gonna be exciting because here's the thing, I am never gonna be in this moment in my early thirties, hot as hell. Yeah, I said it single. Confident living the most authentic life possible with my best friend. Not married, no kids. Not that you know, the non-married thing is like a super big deal, but just getting to do that with Ana and get to experience travel almost living abroad. She wants to so bad, but traveling abroad and. I don't know. I'm just so excited. And I'm not saying that there won't be other once in a lifetime trips, but I mean once in a lifetime in the place that we both are in our life. So I'm very, very excited. And speaking of Ana. We finally recorded our Norway episode. It is hysterical. It is incredible. I personally feel like we are just born to be TV hosts. Um, I told her, I was like, damn, girl, you are a pretty good host, co-host. I might need you to come back on the podcast. You know, especially when your girl's in a drought of content, AKA, still trying to get her feet in front of the wait. Okay? Mm. I was trying to go somewhere with that and I just. Fumbled very, very hard. What I was gonna say was just, especially considering your girl still trying to put one foot in front of the other, there we go. Got it out that time. Boom. So anyways, I cannot wait for that episode to come out. It's gonna come out in a few weeks. Um, one because I wanna edit it and add like sound bites and sound clips from different videos and things we took in Norway. But also I'm going to edit it where it's like kind of split into like two or three parts, I'm not quite sure. So that will be out soon, but you're gonna have to wait just a little bit, but not too long. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? So that's great It just feels good to like, create content, you know? I'm not putting all the pressure on myself. I know I've said that like a million times in like the very few episodes that I have put out this year, but I just wanna reiterate it because I mean, I was talking to one of my girlfriends earlier today and she's trying to get back into the flow of her content and like she makes short films and things like that and she's trying to dabble in this, dabble in that. And you know when life happens, when you have things that. Take you out, so to speak, and you gotta focus and prioritize the life stuff before you can, you know, get back to the, the fun, the creative, the art, the, the passion, the dream, whatever it is for you. it can bog you down. Because like for me, especially with this and where I wanna go with my career, it's a huge dream. And you know, here lately, the past couple of weeks, I mean if I'm being honest, co past couple of months, I have felt so disconnected from that dream. And I even asked myself the other day, I was like, God, do I still want this? And it's like, yes, I do, but. I have learned a lesson or two in this thing called life. And kind of piggybacking on what I was saying at the beginning of the episode, you have to balance everything going on. You have to prioritize what's the most important and sometimes. The hobbies, the art, the craft, whatever it is, has to go by the wayside or just go and pause for a moment.'cause obviously I'm still getting back into it, but it's definitely, not up and running like it was before my life imploded. But that's okay because as I ease back into it, as I get better at it and, and get more into the routine of it, it's only gonna be better. It's only gonna be more me back to that whole authenticity thing, you know what I mean? Same with my vulnerability. I don't know. I think vulnerability doesn't necessarily mean like you're crying in the blues and just like pouring your heart out, but vulnerability is just being authentically you. And it's crazy to think that so many people are afraid to be vulnerable, to be their authentic self. Vulnerability is a strength. I will die on that hill. Vulnerability is a strength. It's one that I pride a lot in myself. I know some people are a little turned off by it. Some people can be off put by it, but I ain't gonna stop being me. That's for damn sure. And I don't know. Authentic living, authentic life, vulnerability, deep conversations. now I'm kind of rambling and going. Down a rabbit hole of what Liz looks for in relationships. But other than that, no vulnerability is, is great. So don't be afraid to tap into that. I mean, shoot, I was talking about my girlfriends the other day and I was like, vulnerability is, talking to someone about the universe and what it means to live. It doesn't mean I'm crying the blues talking about all my childhood trauma. Not that there's that much, but still, you know what I mean? But vulnerability is being open about that stuff too. You know, there's time and place. There's time and place. Uh, wow. I feel like I'm trying to act like a therapist right now and I'm not. So lemme just reel it back in. Where, where were we? The Goodwill Hall, the dopamine rush. So anyways, all that to say, the Norway trip was incredible and the episode is. I almost said even more, but that would be a lie. It's great. I can't wait for you all to listen and watch and get to know Ana and get to see a little bit into our friendship because she is my freaking girl. Hi, jinx included. That's for sure. I pulled a muscle on my leg the other day, like two weeks ago, and you wouldn't believe it. I was stretching. Or if you know me really well, then you do believe it because of course I pulled my leg stretching. I, wouldn't be cool enough to pull at doing something epic. I would pull at trying to touch my toes. So keep you humble. Life has a way of keeping you humble and mine was stretching and pulling. I don't even know what kind of muscle, something in like my upper thigh, butt area. But anyway, I am no longer limping and I feel like I am finally getting to a place where I can actually, I don't know, work out a little bit, but. Anyways, at least I haven't died trying to hang a curtain rod, so that's great. I, I'm hiring a handyman to come do that. And actually, one of the things he's tasked to do is to fix, said curtain rod that I royally fucked up when I almost died, hanging it. So we know our lane, we meaning me, we know our lane, our lane is not hanging things very high on my short little ladder, but also by myself.'cause it's hard. So on that note, hmm. let's see. And other health news.'cause I know everyone cares so much about my wellbeing. Man. People ask me side note, a DD moment, I'm gonna bounce and I'll come back. But people are like, you do a podcast by yourself. Like, do you ever run out of things to talk about? And I'm like, you don't know me well enough, trust me. I have been doing this for almost, gosh, three years now. Oh my gosh. Almost three years. Holy moly. Wow. I am processing that in real time with you all. So I'm gonna have to figure that out. Not that three is a magic number, but. It is very cool to be doing this for three years, but I digress. Do I run on things to talk about? No, I do not. I am a self-proclaimed theater kid. I mean, I was a theater kid and I have no problem entertaining myself. I was an only child and I grew up kind of lonely because I no siblings and there was no kids in my neighborhood so what did I do? I pretended to be Steve Irwin in my backyard with my Dachshund and I mean, I'm like six or seven years old at this point, so it's not too, too weird, but. Start m Young, entertain yourself. So can I talk by myself for, I don't know, minutes upon, minutes upon maybe even hours? Yes, I can. Am I weird? Mm. You know, I guess it depends on who you're asking, but not that weird is bad. I think weird is cool. Here I am rambling about being weird, all this to say. Yes, I enjoy talking about myself, but I will say having a co-host isn't bad. I like it. I like to riff and banter and like ask questions and get to know someone or whatever their trait or their craft is. So we're gonna get back into the guests and the co-hosts and things like that. Like I said, Ashley's gonna be a part of it. I have a bunch of people that I met last year that I have kind of lined up that wanna come on the podcast. So look for more collaborations and things like that in the future. But going back to my health news, not that it's news. Geez. It makes it sound so serious. I'm not sleeping. You probably didn't see that coming, huh? I'm like, health update. I'm not sleeping. I quite frankly have not slept since September, but it's really starting to eat at me that I'm not sleeping. I mean minus the fact that there are serious bags under my eyes, but that's. You know, not as a concern as much as why am I not sleeping? But I will say the past few days, not quite a week, but I don't know, maybe a week just to make it easier on us. I have been sleeping at least like six hours. here I am giving everybody a play by play of my sleep life, but. I'm starting to dream again. I know this is so random, but before my car accident, I used to dream so vividly all the time. Then after the car accident, I quit dreaming. I'm sure that had to do with all the stress, my serious concussion, my brain, all this shit. But I quit dreaming here recently, like in the past like month or so, I have started to dream again, and I mean weird dreams. Nothing like scary. Thank God. Gosh, I. Whew. Nightmares, living alone in this big house. Not welcome. Not welcome. I freak out enough when I wake up at 3:00 AM and I'm like, oh God, the witching hour, is there a fricking demon in my room? Oh yeah, that's where my brain goes. Remember that whole imagination entertaining herself? Yeah. So there's good sides to that. And there are bad sides. Clearly. Oh gosh. But the sleeping the dreams. The other day I had a dream that. All of the interstates were just flooded, like they were just rivers. And I was kayaking with my family. We were all in little kayaks and Luna was there. Oh, RIP miss you so much. I'm not gonna talk about that too much or miss her crying on the podcast. But I were just like little ducks in a row and kayaks and. It had like a dystopian feel. I don't really know. I was really stressed out though. I couldn't tell you any more contexts like what we were paddling for or two. All I know is I was very stressed trying to keep all of us together in all of our little kayaks and there was just water everywhere. There was like no land, but there was like trees and stuff. So I guess it was more like everything was flooded. I don't know. Don't worry, I don't think I'm a prophet, foreshadowing or seeing the inevitable demise of our society. sorry, I'm not trying to get doom and gloom there, but if you've watched the news at all in the past, like whatever, how many months you, you may have had a panic attack at some point, like myself, but again, this is not a political podcast. We're not gonna talk about it. But I'll say I'm a little stressed out about it. Any ways on that note? Uh, so weird dreams, water flooding, but at least I'm sleeping so well at least more than three hours. Two to three hours.'cause that's about what I was averaging before. So there's Liz Cheney's update on her health. I'm glad you guys could be a part of it. and before you ask No, I did not watch White Lotus. Do I have fomo? Yeah. Holy crap. The internet is a buzz with that show. I would love to watch it. I tried watching the first season, like when it first came out and I could not get into it. I'm not gonna lie, I appreciate the satire. I love a good satire, but it was just a little too slow. But you know what? I wasn't in a great head space maybe I should try it again. Similar to severance, I've seen the first season of severance. Have not watched a second one yet. Severance. Is a work of art, however it puts me to sleep. Does that make sense? Like I can appreciate the premise. I love anything that is a play satire, uh, an examination of American workplace culture, capitalism, all of the above. So severance is right up my alley. But you have got to pay attention to like every single moment. And it's a little slow if you ask me. And by the end of the day, my brain is caped. I, I have a hard time focusing and I'm just like, what? The numbers are scary. What, what the Indian, the Audi, what? But I do wanna watch season two.'cause I mean, the internet was a buzz with that as well. But I don't know if I'm gonna watch White Lotus. I think I'll just stick with my fomo. But then again, God, it feels so magnificent. Like it's like Game of Thrones came back or something. I don't know, maybe I'll get into it, but I've had like five people ask me, have you lunch my LOEs? And I'm like, no, I have not. Don't ask me. Ugh. Just, just dims up my FOMO every single time, even though it's a self choice. But that's okay. That's okay. Anywho, so. That's all of the updates I have that Elise are worth sharing. Oh, oh, oh. Actually, before I even go into like the little message that I had for today's episode, remember that, remember when I used to have like messages, like themes, topics, subjects of the episode, not just me rambling for dear life and being like, Hey guys, I'm alive. Just want you to know that. But my friend's husband. I'm gonna sound like an idiot now talking about this on the podcast. I can't remember what his role is. I don't know if he's like a managing partner. I think he is like a managing partner or something like that. But there's this new like drag bar, dance club type play, um, type I cannot speak clearly, type place in Atlanta called lore. And we went to like the soft launch, like the friends and family and it was so much fun. I was wearing pink, hot pink Go-go boots. However, I had one too many ranch waters, which shout out to Ranch Water. You are the best drink, not the brand, the actual drink. Tequila Topo, Chico, lime. There you go. That's my favorite Tequila Girl through and through. Anyways. I had one too many ranch waters and you know, I have this special skill that I know when I have taken too much, I'm like, uhoh, I need to go home. If I don't go home in the next 10 minutes, I am gonna pass out. So we go there, dance the night away. I'm pretty lit. And the thing is, like, it all hit me at once I don't know if this is. Just because I'm in my thirties. I don't remember my twenties being like this when I drank alcohol, but most of the time in my thirties it's like boom, everything hits me at once, so maybe I should slow down. I don't freaking know. Either way, that's a different conversation. Here I am at this. Bar club, having time in my life, we go to the bar next to it called Church, which is not a church. If you could guess, having a great time hanging out with the friends. The friends, my friends, and it hits me that, that feeling, that spidey sense Uhoh, you have. 30 minutes to get home or you're, you're gone or, so I immediately call an Uber and then I basically Irish goodbye. Sorry guys. Had to go. I don't remember much of the car ride home. I kind of. I don't wanna say blacked out, but browned out. But I had a whole photo shoot in the backseat of this person's Uber, so, oh man. Thankfully it did not affect my Uber score. They probably loved it. But I came home, I FaceTimed BNA apparently seven times, and then I ordered pizza because that's what you do to take care of yourself when you're maybe a little space dead. Anyways, all this said. I started the story to share the fact that I had another mini photo shoot of myself. When I say photo shoot, I mean me being a little drunk, let's just say that. And I must have thought I was really hot. That's all I have to say.'cause the faces I was making are hysterical. Of course. I was fully dressed like, this isn't like a fun, oh shoot. No, this was like a. Drunk girl photo shoot. The best part though, the best part is I took a video of me taking off my Go-Go boots and I'm gonna clip it in this episode. So if you're watching on YouTube, I highly suggest you go look at it.'cause there's no way on earth I'm gonna actually post that as a clip to my story because I'd rather you just watch this and be secretly surprised, but I have watched this video so many times because to me it's hysterical that drunk me was like, oh, I'm gonna position my phone on the tripod. Like literally got my tripod out to this. And thought I was hot stuff and it's me just singing a song about being a single girl, taking off my Go-Go boots. So it's hysterical. I'm going to insert the clip here now and you can at least hear the sound audio'cause the song is adorable. But you know, cheers to single girl hijinks. Seriously. Last time it was me almost breaking my neck, trying to hang a curtain rod. This time it's me drunk as hell taking off. Go-go boots. So I hope you enjoy. This is what you do. This is what you do when you are a single girl. You do what do. Doula chicken do. Okay? Yeah. So that's a bop, right? It's hilarious, right? Hopefully you all still love me. We're not judging all this to say I slept really good that night, but bump, okay. So rambling enough. This has been fun. This has been chaotic. This has been feeling good, getting back into my flow, my rhythm, but. The thing that I wanna talk about and end today's episode on is the four letter word. Hope. I know. Taking a hard pivot from the silliness we were just talking about. I was going back and reading some of my journal entries from the past, like eight months, and I came across one where basically I was just trash talking hope. There's a quote in Ted Lasso, a show I have watched actually, where they say, it's the hope that kills you. Now Ted has some kind of poignant speech that he says after this to them when they say it, but it's the hope that kills you. So that was kind of like the theme of this said journal entry. it was a very dark place in my life.'cause as you know, the past couple months have not been the best, but. They have been the best in a way because I'm choosing me. I am choosing my life. I am being selfish in the most delicious, beautiful way possible. And I did say delicious because life is delicious and the relief I feel and the happiness that I feel, I would do it all over again if I had to. I mean, hindsight 2020. Of course there's a lot of that in a lot of the situation. But I mean, if I had to go through that again to get to where I am today, I would, I would do it a million times. you know, forged by fire, if you will, the phoenix rising from the ashes. I am not a stranger to picking up the pieces of myself and putting them back together and, realizing that I put them back together in a more beautiful way. The past eight months have been just that, me, this time kind of slowly crumbling, falling apart, but really finally facing the fact that I've been broken inside for a long time. I've been unhappy for a long time in my situation and. Where I'm at now is I am seeing the mosaic even more beautiful than I was before. And because I did all the work years ago during my depression and finding myself and loving myself, and now being here at this place, this chapter, this setting on the game board of life, I would do it again if I knew I was gonna be here. It is powerful to own your life. How this ties into hope. Reading this journal entry about how jaded I was and how could I have hope when everything was shit, nothing was going my way. I couldn't communicate, I couldn't get through, I couldn't do anything. It was just block after block, after block after block. And why have hope? I mean, I was being let down completely. Deep down I was, I, I was having to face the fact that I'd kinda let down myself for so many years. cause at this point in the whole situation, I hadn't come to terms with, it doesn't matter that years have passed. It's the fact that you're choosing you now. So I blamed hope as a four letter word that is equivalent to a bad word. I took hope as. A child's thing. It wasn't real. it wasn't of substance. It wasn't concrete. It was like a dream. It was silly. It wasn't real. It wasn't something that you could actually hold onto. I realized that in my moments of self-doubt, serious self-doubt. Hope was the broken promise. At least that's what I kept thinking. That's what I kept blaming it as. It's the hope that kills you, but actually it's quite the opposite sometimes. Hope is all you have. So here I was thinking hope as this desperate attempt at peace and positivity and, and just yearning for the future. And in its simplest form, it's so powerful. Hope inspires oneself. Hope inspires movements. Hope inspires someone to choose themself and pick up every little piece that has been broken and stepped on and abused and trashed, and build it back together and then step back and say, wow, it's even more beautiful than it was before. Sometimes hope is all that we have, and for me personally, politically lately, geez. It's what I hold onto and looking back at this really negative journal entry from just, five, six months ago, flipping through the pages, I realized it's actually hope that carried me through the hope that things would get better. The hope that somewhere down the line choosing me was gonna work out for me in the best way possible. And as I sit here recording this episode. Putting one foot in front of the other, getting back into the rhythm, back into the routine of who I am and what I'm trying to do in this world, and follow my dreams and chase my ambition, and just freaking live the most wonderful life that I can imagine. For myself. I'm here to say hope is the strongest thing that you can carry with you in times of darkness, in times of self-doubt. Hold onto the hope and maybe you're not like me. Maybe you've got it all figured out and you're like, of course I've got hope. Or I don't even need hope'cause I don't have problems. But I imagine a lot of you, if not most of us, all of us have, chastised hope turned our back on hope. But remember, as small as it could be, in some instances, hope could simply be explained as the match. Think about what a match can do. So that's what I wanted to end today's episode on. I was a little introspective, a little reflective. And you know, hope is not a four little word. I mean, technically it's a four little word, but in the western context of, oh, that's a four little word, you know? Okay. Dunno why I am going off on that. Anyways, all this to say, carry the hope. You're not weak for it, you're not dumb, you're not immature. Hope is a beautiful thing. I have so much hope in my heart for so many different things. Sure hope is, dreams Is this, is that, I don't mean hope as in I'm not gonna accomplish this, but I hold out the hope that I will find true love. I hold out the hope that my dreams will come true, and that hope also comes from a feeling of self-worth, a knowing of self-worth, and knowing of, of course, I'm gonna find love. I've already met so many incredible people. I mean, I like to say that I'm the embodiment of love. So I have known love. I have met love. Who's to say I won't receive it? Because they always say what you put out into the world, the love you put out will always come back tenfold. And I have seen that time and time again with my mother, with my family, with my beautiful friends, even with myself. So if you're low today and you need to pick me up, hold on to hope. It will get better. All right. I think that's enough for today. The wis say, Elizabeth must go to bed. Anyways, I really appreciate you all being here. Uh, cheers too, being back on the podcast. And man, it feels really good to be kind of back in the flow of things. So let's see if I can keep this up. And, uh, if you're not doing so already, please follow me at in between Pod and then my personal, uh, Instagram I probably should have led. This is with Instagram, my personal Instagram, Elizabeth Cheney. So you can keep up with me because here lately I've been posting a lot more there. So don't worry though, she's gonna get back on it because she's the best. Wow. I need to stop talking a third person, but I can't. It's just too fun. It's just too good and I think I've made it quite the habit and I can't stop. Okay, so back to the social media handles end between Pod Elizabeth Ney, and then you can follow me on TikTok and YouTube at the in Between podcast. And remember, you want to watch us on YouTube'cause you wanna see this silly video. Do what you gotta do. You know, maybe I'll make that a song. Anyways, I think you are incredible and I hope. See what I did there you have the most fabulous rest of the week, fabulous day, whatever the case may be, and I will see you next time on an all new in-between. Bye.