Shameless

Planned Parenthood health professional and educator Cheyanda Onuoha boldly speaks on unlearning harmful beliefs around sex, consent, pleasure, relationships, reproductive health, and owning your sexual freedom as a Black woman.

Learn more about Tone at BeSeen.org.

For more information on everything sexual health, visit www.plannedparenthood.org/learn.

“Shameless” was composed by Sub Q. See more of their work at kellymacmusic.com.

Transcript

Girl, what’s not to love about being a Black woman?

Our style, grace, and brilliance. Our hair and our curves — we are something to behold. 

Yet rooted deep within is the willingness to place everyone else’s needs before our own. 

Black women are rarely at the center of our narratives. 

But it’s not our fault.

On one hand, years of mammy tropes have told us our bodies aren't our own. And on the other, we're constantly told we’re too sexual.

Even when we dominate in everything we do — from culture to business —

we still struggle to own something as simple as saying: 

I deserve to feel good. 

Let's breathe into that. 

Think about the areas in your life where you are accepting less than a full-bodied “yes.” 

[pause]

Do you feel any resistance to change that? 

[pause]

Now, think about the last time you felt immense pleasure in your body.

How often do you get to feel it?

Know that you deserve all the good there is. 

I’ll repeat that. ALL the good there is. 

And when you feel good — in your mind, your spirit, your body — you are pushing back against centuries of attacks that say, you aren’t worthy. 

But you are. 

You deserve a life that is orgasmic in every single way.

In the bedroom, in your job, in your home, in your friendships and your connections. 

Not only is your well being worth it — your JOY is a priority too. 

Join me in affirming a few things over your immaculate, pleasure-filled, abundant existence, girl:

[pause]

I love myself out loud because I know my love is powerful.

[pause]

I lose nothing when I take time to fill my cup.

[pause]

I will advocate for my safety in all aspects of my life. 

[pause]

I deserve care that is specific to my experience as both Black and a woman. 

[pause]

I am worthy of ALLLLL the pleasure. 

[pause]

Everything in my life must contribute to my joy — anything that doesn’t must go. 

[pause]

I am the woman I’ve been waiting for.

[pause]

Carry these affirmations with you throughout your day, and come back to them when you need to be reminded of who deserves your best self: 

You.