139: F*ck the Rules: Midlife Starts Now with Tina Coleman

Reinvention doesn’t wait for permission. After a career-ending car accident and the loss of both parents before 40, Tina Coleman made a radical choice one week later: she boarded a plane for her first solo international trip. That single leap cracked open a new life—full-time travel, sobriety, a 90‑pound health transformation, and a mission to help Gen X women trade exhaustion for agency.

We dive into what makes midlife uniquely powerful: hard-won wisdom, sharper boundaries, and the freedom to choose again. Tina shares the story behind her boldly titled upcoming book, 50, Fabulous, and Fuckable, and why the most subversive move isn’t chasing youth but embodying presence. We challenge myths about gray hair, desirability, and the belief that perimenopause blocks weight loss. Tina explains how Ayurvedic rhythms, mindful eating, and strength training reshaped her health, while EFT tapping and simple nervous system resets helped quiet stress cravings and improve sleep.

The conversation moves from mindset to method: five-minute journaling to clear mental clutter, Yoga Nidra to restore energy, restorative and yin yoga to unlock deep tension, and bodywork to release what talk can’t reach. We talk freedom and simplicity abroad—walking cities, market food, and daily human connection—and share safe, realistic ways to make travel affordable with house sitting, work exchanges, and slow itineraries. You’ll leave with practical tools, a reframe on aging, and a spark to design a life that feels like yours again.

If this conversation fired you up, follow Tina at beacons.ai/transformbecourageous, pre-order her book, and grab her free travel guide. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave a review to help more women find their breakthrough.

How To Connect with Tina click HERE

Chapters

• 2:01 Setting The Stage: Reinvention In Midlife
• 6:38 Tina’s Origin Story And First Solo Trip
• 12:25 Why Midlife Is Powerful, Not “Over”
• 19:00 A Book Is Born: Fear, Title, Mission
• 26:28 Myths To Break: Gray Hair And Sexy
• 32:55 Menopause, Weight Loss, And Mindset
• 41:45 Self-Care That Actually Restores You

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 1:20

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Real Food Stories. Today we are diving into a conversation about reinvention, resilience, and what it really looks like to rebuild a life in midlife, not from a place of crisis, but from a place of power. My guest, Tina Coleman, has lived through chapters that might flatten most people. She lost both of her parents before turning age 40. She survived two major car accidents, including one that abruptly ended her 20-year career as a licensed massage therapist. And she has spent years caught in a cycle of not caring for herself at all. And then one bold decision changed everything. One week after that career-ending accident, Tina got on a plane for her first solo international trip. That moment cracked something open. It was the catalyst that led her to travel solo full-time, move abroad, and get sober, lose 90 pounds, transform her health, and rebuild a life rooted in freedom and self-trust. Today, Tina is the force behind the upcoming book, 50, Fabulous, and Fuckable, a fierce, funny, deeply honest guide that reframes what it means to be a woman at midlife. Through her writing and coaching, she helps women release burnout, break free from old narratives, and step into a chapter defined by confidence, joy, and possibility. She speaks openly about the challenges many Gen X women face: shifting hormones, energy crashes, feeling invisible, and she flips the script into one of abundance, empowerment, and agency. Women are drawn to her raw honesty, her humor, and her belief that it's never too late to reinvent yourself. I cannot wait for you to hear this conversation. Tina is a reminder that midlife isn't a breakdown, it's a breakthrough. And her story just might give you permission to imagine a different possibility for your own. So let's jump in. Tina Coleman is the bold voice behind the upcoming book, 50, Fabulous, and Fuckable. Now, am I allowed to say that on a podcast, just by the way? I don't know if I'm going to get dinged for that, but I'm saying it anyway. Uh, we'll see what happens. Which is a powerful guide that redefines what it means to be a woman at midlife. Her mission is to empower women approaching 50 and beyond to embrace reinvention, freedom, and unapologetic confidence while stepping into the most vibrant, authentic chapter of their lives. After more than two decades as a massage therapist, Tina's career was abruptly cut short by a car accident. Instead of letting life's hardships define her, she chose to reinvent herself from the ground up. That reinvention began with traveling solo, an experience that opened her eyes to possibility, freedom, and courage. Solo travel became the catalyst that ultimately led her to move abroad, where she continues to embrace transformation and intentional living. And now Tina shares her journey as living proof that it's never too late to create the life you want. Through her writing, speaking, and coaching, she inspires women to release burnout, overcome the weight of old narratives, and fully own their worth. She speaks openly about the challenges Gen X women face from shifting hormones and energy crashes to feeling invisible in a culture obsessed with youth. That's yes. And flips the script into one of power, possibility, and abundance. Her book is not only a celebration of women thriving at midlife, but also a movement, an invitation to step out of fear and scarcity and into boldness, adventure, and unapologetic joy. Tina's story resonates deeply with women who are ready to trade exhaustion for empowerment and who want real, relatable strategies to feel fabulous again inside and out. So welcome, Tina. I'm so excited to talk to you. You sound like you are living the dream of so many women. And I want to hear your story about how you got into it and how you're now just being a world traveler and what it took to get there. So why don't we just start with just introduce yourself again? I mean, I know I was just, you know, introducing you, but why don't you just give yourself an introduction?

SPEAKER_00: 5:54

Great. Thank you so much. And thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it. So I'm originally from Des Moines, Iowa, which is the center of the United States. And my family did not travel at all. Um, so for me, traveling has been such a joy and a pleasure. Uh a lot of anxiety too, but I didn't start traveling. I hadn't flown onto the plane until I was 30, and then I did not start traveling internally until about 45. Ironically, I actually started going down to Mexico for dental work because it was cheaper than in the States. And I fell in love with Mexico. But I always thought I would live like uh in Asia somewhere. So who knows? Um, but after the car accident, I was very angry for a few years, and that's when I decided to let everything let everything go in the States, literally. And I moved down to Mexico, and I've just kind of been going ever since. And I am currently in Medellin, Colombia. Wow, that's great.

SPEAKER_01: 6:47

I mean, it sounds so exotic and so many women like fantasize about doing. Um you are a woman in midlife, like I am too. And I know at this time, I mean, you something compelled you to write a book, and you're like a living example of sort of living like a dream. But I know that at this time in our lives, myself included, sometimes you know, a lot of women feel so confused. They're just feel defeated, they're overwhelmed with symptoms and you know, and just their bodies changing. We're definitely in the sandwich generation, you know. So if you have kids and you also have aging parents and you're stretched thin, right? And and we don't might not have the ability to just go like, you know, jump on planes and do and and just go and have all that freedom right now. So it's it's kind of a a time of of overwhelm, I think. So why do you believe um just from talking to you now off-air, you know, that like midlife can be the most powerful, vibrant stage of a woman's life? Like what what what is it about midlife that stands out to you?

SPEAKER_00: 7:57

I think it's such an exciting time, which you know is not how we've been raised to perceive it. We've been raised to perceive 50 as being old or hell, you're not sex anymore. And for me, I wanted to be empowered and inspired by it. So for me, like we've we've made all the mistakes, we've had the bad relationships, we've had the financial problems, we've changed careers, people have had kids, gone to school, things like that. And so by the time you're approaching midlife, things are changing. You know, we've got all this wisdom behind us now. We're able to make different choices. And then for women that have children, like the kids are growing up, maybe they're uh, you know, single for the first time in a while, maybe they're, you know, getting remarried, like different things are happening, like it's really a shakeup time. And I think it's just so exciting because you can really be vibrant and healthy and alive and do the things that maybe scare you a little bit. Um, but take those chances because it's so worth it.

SPEAKER_01: 8:55

Yeah, I agree with you. I mean, I think it is an opportunity to, I like, I love the word opportunity because it just gives you like a right, you can you can imagine and and um get creative with that. And it does give you the opportunity to think about what you want to do from like here on in, because I'm also kind of grappling with this life is short like theme lately, you know, that like we don't have like you know, we've lived a you know, I'm I'm 57 years old and you know you look amazing, you absolutely look amazing.

SPEAKER_00: 9:27

Oh my gosh, yes, you look great. I thought you were like, you know, my age or a little younger. You look amazing.

SPEAKER_01: 9:33

Oh, thank you. But thank you so much. I appreciate that. But uh, you know, it's like my, you know, I'm getting into like a next, another phase, and I want to like while I have the energy and and I have do have a little more time now and flexibility, my kids are out of the house, and I want to be able to do things while I can now, not 20 years later, when I might start having some other health issues or just because of aging, right? So yeah, it is it is a really great time to start, I think, imagining your future, right?

SPEAKER_00: 10:11

So it is okay. I'm gonna I'm gonna get a little woo-woo on you for just a minute here, okay? So because of the age you are, um, every every about like 27 to 28 years, we go through a Saturn return. We have it in our 20s where we get married, divorced, have children, travel across the country, whatever. So you're actually at the brink of a spiritual awakening. And that might be why you're having these urges. So, and it's really interesting because people at this age, they either have a spiritual awakening and they go through it, or they have physical symptoms like they can have strokes, heart attacks, things like that that have happened to move them into that spiritual awareness. So I think you're at the perfect time to be reimagining and kind of moving forward and taking those risks because life is short. Like I lost my mom and stepdad um very suddenly right before my I turned 40. So that also propelled me into being like, okay, I need to do things now because you don't know how long you're gonna be here. We don't know how how for help is gonna be, but you're young, you're vibrant now. And you know, if you want to go to Europe or go climb Everest or whatever, go do it. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 11:18

Yeah, I totally agree with you. I think right, just life is short and just right. And I like that spiritual awakening because that is sort of what I'm feeling, at least. So if I'm feeling it, I imagine that others are also feeling this, sort of like, what's what's my purpose here? What is my next, you know, what are my next like stages of what's going to happen? So I guess all your spiritual awakenings prompted you to write a book, which is good. So did you feel called to write this book? Tell me a little bit more about that. I did.

SPEAKER_00: 11:49

I really believe this book was divinely inspired. And people might laugh because of the title, you know. And honestly, I did not, I know, I did not sit around wanting to be a writer. I did not, I'm not a writer, I don't think I'm a writer. Um, but I had gone to some seminars and they had planted the seed about writing a book. I'm like, okay, great. But it's really because I was so incredibly terrified about turning 50. I was about 46, 47, and I was good with that. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna be 50, what's gonna happen? Like, oh my gosh, did you die? Like, you know, my hair was not gray at the time. My hair, my hair was about your color. All my life, it was about your color. So it's like I'm like, what's gonna happen when I turn 50? And I have an older sibling and a younger sibling, um, three and a half years apart for me, and they're all like, oh, this hurts and that hurts, and oh, I'm so old. And I'm like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to live that way. I want to be, I feel energetic. I, you know, I love my life. So I wanted to carry on with that. So I really the idea for the book came to me, and it just like and it's so funny because there's so many times I'm like, can I say that? Can I do this? Who am I to write a book about being 50? I wasn't 50 yet. And like, and can I talk about menopause? Like, I haven't done that yet, which I am now in it, so now I can talk about it. Um, but it's just, you know, I had to give myself permission to be like, I can do this, and it's still stepping into that power and being like, yes, my my mission really is to empower and inspire women to travel on their best life. And I really think that it was from my higher self that it came. Like I did not sit around and dream this up, it just came to me.

SPEAKER_01: 13:22

Yeah, I think that's how a lot of things usually happen, right? It's it's there is some kind of divine guidance if you want to get woo-woo and believe that, you know, but I I I do believe that. And I guess the title of your book is so far okay because you published the book and here it is out. I'm just curious, on the on the book cover, is it all written out, that word, or is it I I have like a little part with and I am currently in pre-lunch.

SPEAKER_00: 13:51

I am self-publishing, so it will be out at the end of December. I did have a publisher and that did not work out. So I was like, we're still doing this because I think the message of the book is so important, and I think once it's out, it can help women at different stages. And it's really interesting because when I say the title of the book, no matter where I'm at in the world, everyone's like, Oh, I want to read that. Like men, women, women there in their 20s, 30s, like everyone wants to read the book. And I'm like, okay, great, because it does have a lot of really great information. It we talk about travel and health and self-care and menopause and uh pre-planning and things like that. So it's kind of like an all-encompassing book, you know, for midlife.

SPEAKER_01: 14:31

So, okay, so that's um maybe an intro into my next question that, you know, there's a lot of, you know, like I said it before, like women feel confused and overwhelmed. And and what do you think are some of the other just myths about women turning 50, getting into their 50s, midlife that you want to break? Because here you are sort of living like a lot of people's dream. You know, you're traveling, you're solo, you're like, you know, doing whatever you want. So what are yeah, tell me about some of like the myths that you are determined to break that are you that you cover in the book. Gray hair isn't sexy.

SPEAKER_00: 15:13

That is a big one. Because men are allowed to go gray. When men go gray, they're distinguished, they're sexy, they're a gray fox. You know, when women get gray, we're like, oh, you're old, you're over the hill. Like, and so so many of us spend a lot of money and time trying to hide it. And like I said, my hair was your color like my whole life, and I was so determined not to have gray hair. Like it was funny. Like, I got the blonde highlights going, and then I kind of and then I actually went blonde, short and blonde. And then when I was in Mexico, I went pink, and it was supposed to be a really cute pink, it was a bright fuchsia pink, talking like from the cartoon trolls pink. So I ended being her for my Halloween, and then when it faded and it faded out beautifully, I was like, oh, my hair's gray. Because I didn't know, I didn't know. So I did pink. Oh, because you'd been coloring your hair for so long? Well, because I had I'd gone blonde. I'd actually gone blonde and short in 2018, and then in 2020, I was traveling Mexico, and a friend of mine, he was getting his hair blonde. I'm like, I don't think they can do my blonde because, like, you know, I was in a little village in Cipelite, Mexico, and I'm like, she's not gonna be able to do my blonde the way I want it. So let me just do pink, let's do a light, fun pink. I'm in Mexico. It was bright fuchsia. It was bright fuchsia. I was like, huh, I'm like, okay, you know what? I'm in Mexico, it's totally fine. No one's gonna see me. Like it could rock it. And then when it faded out, I was like, huh, okay, and it looked really cool. And that's I went pink, I did lavender, uh, I did a dark blue also, which that actually had to um that had to grow out. It was a semi-permanent, but it did not because I'm like, oh, I want to go blonde again. And the colorist I saw in Next Coast City, he was like, uh no, this is gonna have to grow out, or we're going to ruin your hair, and it's gonna be super expensive. So I had like this reverse ombre at like silver and dark blue, and it was really, really sexy. And that's when I was like, you're just gonna want to go gray. So that's that's like such a big myth because so many of us spend so much time and money coloring it, and obviously everyone's hair looks different. Um, my grandmother was completely white by the time she was 30.

SPEAKER_01: 17:26

Oh wow, okay.

SPEAKER_00: 17:27

Yeah, friends in the friends in the family. Um, but I thought it you know, I I thought in my mind I never wanted gray hair, like I'm gonna like dime my hair until I'm 90. Like I never thought of going natural. And so it was a big deal. And for a woman, it is a big deal. But it's like, um, and I made a video on this, it's it's not the color of your hair that makes you look old, it's your attitude. So, like if you're in love with life, you're excited about life, you're gonna radiate that energy. It's not about what color your hair is, it's about who you are.

SPEAKER_01: 17:55

Yeah, I I mean you have really nice gray hair. I don't know what mine would look like because my hair is so dark normally, but I do, I do still touch up my hair a little bit here and there because I'm not I'm not totally ready to go there, but I do, I I will. One day I definitely will. I sort of have this fantasy of having this like really long, like thick braid of of you know silver hair.

SPEAKER_00: 18:17

I could I could see that. And the fun thing is is it's hair. You can make it any color you want, you can do whatever you want with it. And I think because so many women, the Gen X generation, we're just kind of like, we're gonna do what we want. And I think there's gonna be so many more options with your hair as you as time progresses because they're just having fun with it, they're doing like reverse ombres and all different kinds of things. So my advice is just have fun with it, embrace it. It doesn't have to be so serious.

SPEAKER_01: 18:44

I totally agree. Yeah, no, I did, I think around COVID, I was like, maybe I'll dye my hair pink. I was like kind of toying with that too. Then I realized that I had no idea what it entailed, but I realized that I would have to bleach my hair out first, I think, and then dye. So I was like, you know what, there's too many steps. I don't know. I'm not I understand.

SPEAKER_00: 19:04

I understand completely.

SPEAKER_01: 19:05

I do. But one day I think I will I will do that. So let's talk about a couple other myths. What what other myths do you feel like women are, you know, like we need to break here?

SPEAKER_00: 19:15

Uh that you can't lose weight in menopause and perimenopause. That's a big one. It is because I actually lost 90 pounds in perimenopause. So, and I actually started doing it uh with Ayurvedic Medicine, which is from India and it's been around for 5,000 years, and it focuses on your like what time you're eating, what types of food you're eating, like being mindful when you're eating, and then also on your digestion. So it's not like a starvation plan, it's not, you know, and it really works with the different uh doses and body types. So it's really interesting. Um, but that's like a big one because I lost 90 pounds, so I know it's doable. And then of course I added like weight training in, like, because I love I do love weight training, and I love that you love weight training. Like I love that, I do, and I actually need to get back into it because being here in Columbia, I have put on a couple pounds. Like, I'm gonna be honest, like, I'm eating a lot of desserts, a lot of arepas, like, and I don't feel guilty about it, but I'm like, okay, it's time, and it was it was time a few months ago to be honest, but um, it's an awareness. So we're at a different point in our life where you don't have to like beat yourself up for it, but you can lovingly be like, oh yeah, so if I change these couple of things, I'm going to get a different result. Rather than have holding on to the gear, guilt and the fear, because you can lose weight during menopause and curry menopause. I'm a firm believer in that. So, you know, and with women, for some for some reason, we're always caught up in like the number on the scale and the weight. And it's more about how you feel and just loving yourself, I think.

SPEAKER_01: 20:43

Yeah, I totally agree with you. I just did um just recently, but I don't know when this podcast get we go live with this podcast, but you know, so but a little while back I did a podcast um just to remind everyone that right, just because you go into menopause or perimenopause does not mean that you automatically gain 20 pounds. And there's but I have a lot of clients, a lot of people who you know say things like, I just look at food and I gain five pounds, or I, you know, everything I put in my mouth, just you know, like I can't lose weight. I have no, they get very confused because I think the way that they were doing it back in their 30s, just like skipping a couple of meals, you know, doing a detox, uh, whatever, isn't working for them anymore because it's not necessarily menopause that creates uh makes us gain weight. It's just we get or we're getting older, our metabolisms are slowing down, our muscle. And and I think we have to start getting really mindful. I mean, I've always pushed that. I think the mindfulness piece is the number one key for women, is just to it and to be forgiving, right? And and I and I heard you say that you're in Columbia now, you've been eating a little more too many desserts. Great. I mean, I hope you enjoyed every single bite. I did. And maybe you're seeing like a little weight, you know, but no, right, no beating yourself up, no shame, no, right? You just like it's it's sort of like a tap, you know, like, okay, maybe you don't want to get back to what I was doing. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 22:13

And it's an awareness because I'm like, oh, my thighs are a little more jiggly than they used to be. But instead of being like, oh, this is awful and they're fat, my thigh, I'm never gonna be able to lose the weight, instead of going into that spiral that we can go into really fast, I'm just like, oh, I need to show my body a little more love. I need some more movement, I know that, uh less desserts, you know, being a little more conscious of what I'm eating. And then also just like loving on your body. Um, and I love doing tapping too, because tapping actually really helps with weight loss as well. Emotional freedom technique for people that aren't aware of it. Um there's so many tools and techniques that we have these days instead of like, and our minds are powerful. So if you think, oh, I look at I look at chocolate cake and I gain five pounds, because that is definitely me. Like I have had that experience throughout my life. Weight has been a struggle throughout my life. So when I found Ayurvedic, I was like, oh, this is amazing. It was a complete game changer. But like if you look at a piece of cake and oh, I'm gonna gain five pounds, you have the mindsets, you know, and you have these thoughts that are repeating in your mind. So start changing those, being like, I am gonna this is a piece of chocolate cake, I'm gonna enjoy every bite of it, or I'm gonna enjoy half of it, like whatever makes you comfortable. But realizing that you're fueling your body and you're feeding your body self-love and attention and awareness. So doing that consciously instead of having all these negative thoughts about food and your body.

SPEAKER_01: 23:34

Yeah. So I I mean, I think that right, you can there's there's lots of ways to lose weight, right? So you went the Ayurvedic route and tapping, and though, and those seem to work really well for you. And whatever works, I think, for people, but I think overall for all women, I think that we have to cultivate some body kindness. We have to be really gentle and easy with it because we're going through so much change right now in this, like in this transition, so much, you know. And some women like kind of glide right through menopause, they don't even like notice the not a hot flash, not a nothing. And then there's the rest of us who feel everything, and just just it's a real, a real transition time.

SPEAKER_00: 24:20

It is, and I just want to interject that women, we tend to feel bad about our bodies, but men don't. They can have a beer belly and they're like, Oh, look at my beer belly, it's so sexy. It's like, you know, it's like you know, and women, we just we just tend to be really hard on ourselves. And I think if we were more loving and accepting, our bodies would change much faster and we would be able to really enjoy them more.

SPEAKER_01: 24:42

Yeah. Well, I mean, I think also with the pressure to stay to look a certain age and to stay young looking, and to, I was just watching um the Golden Bachelor the other day, just as like an observation. Are you familiar with the Bachelor? No, not at all. I'm connected, yeah. Yeah, you don't don't. I mean, don't. I'm just I'm just telling you because I was just watching it out of curiosity because it's one man who's he's in his 60s and 30 women also in their 60s, just you know, chasing after him. And eventually one, you know, becomes down to like one woman, like he picks. And I'm just watching it like the I'm I'm feeling so uneasy with their the pressure that these women are under to compete with each other and to look as thin as possible and young as possible. And they're so Botoxed. And I mean, it's just, I don't know, it's a real, I think from just a cultural standpoint, you know, it's a real, it's really like an eye-opener. But I mean, because I think that we are just under so much pressure to stay youthful at any cost. I don't know, maybe you could speak to that on like some like as one of your myths of you know just getting older. Is that can we still be, can we still be uh sexy and hot and and absolutely.

SPEAKER_00: 26:06

I just turned 53, so fuck yes. Yes, we can. So yes, absolutely. And first of all, I want to say I'm glad they're actually using women that are in his age range instead of like 30-year-olds, which is what I would expected you to say, honestly. I was like waiting for that. Um, because that would be totally a TV move to have the women half his age be by the way.

SPEAKER_01: 26:26

Well, he wanted the women half his age. He had said he got a lot of heat for it because he wanted to have the women be more in their 40s and like younger 50s. And the I think the show is like, no, this is not what it's about. But the women who are in their 60s are desperately trying to look like they're in their 40s and 50s.

SPEAKER_00: 26:43

I I'm sorry, but if you're in your, you know, 50s and 60s, you don't need a man, first of all. I mean, yes, it can be nice to have one, have the right person in your life, but as a woman, like enjoy and I want to say enjoy your freedom and the ability to do things you may not have been able to do before. Um, but we don't need to chase the everlasting fountain of you. I think being able to embrace it, and there's lots of natural things that women can do. Because a lot of women want to do like uh Botox and all the fillers and things like that, which is fine if that is what you want to do to make you feel better. But if you're doing it for an outward appearance to tell society, like, oh, I'm still young and I still got it, that's not the right approach. Um, because it really starts with you. But like there is um, you know, you can do facial cupping, you can do facial gouacia, you can do facial yoga, you can do all kinds of things because we really don't touch our face very much. So doing things to like stretch the muscles and maintain those, you can do that in a healthy way that's different than what other women are doing. But we don't have to try and chase a found abuse or to look like we're not 30 anymore. Okay, we're not 20, we're not 30 anymore, we're just not, and that's okay. Right. You know, it's it's okay to embrace your age, it's okay to be who you are, it's okay to be like, I love my I love myself the way I am. And the more you do that, the more other people will reflect that back to you. But chasing this, you know, the Hollywood dream of you know, constantly doing things to your face and depriving yourself and being mean to yourself, like it's not the way to embrace you, you know, or to look younger, to feel younger. It's really through your essence and your attitude, and then taking care of your body, you know, and just loving yourself because the more you love yourself, the more other people are going to be attracted to you and want to be around you, you know. So it's like um getting massages because so many women we're focused on getting our nails done, our hair haired in, getting massages, getting acupuncture, um, doing yoga stretching because we hold so much in our bodies on a cellular level that releasing those blocked emotions and things like that are going to be really freeing to move forward in life.

SPEAKER_01: 28:52

Well, that sounds like self-care. And for a lot of women, self-care is like on the back burner, right? I mean, they're like taking care of everyone else first, and then if they have some time and a little extra money, and you know, then then they'll maybe go get a massage because they're taking care of everyone else, their kid, you know, kids and parents and everything. So yeah, I think that, you know, I was gonna ask you like for women who just feel exhausted and hormonal and kind of overlooked, and what can they do? What are some steps to like just feeling like you can thrive again? But and I, and so I think self-care is a really big, it seems to be a big buzzword right now. And it's really important to take more than ever have I felt like, okay, because I, you know, I I have three kids very close in age. And for a long time, it was five of us in the house, and just I'm like juggling my career, juggling my kids, like, and now you know, my kids are out of the house, they all live, you know, they actually pay their rent and they work, and it's um I have much more time for myself. And it's hard to feel like, oh, I should go schedule myself a massage once a week. It feels selfish a little, you know, sometimes.

SPEAKER_00: 30:14

No, no, no, not at all. Not at all. It is actually the right thing to do. Uh, as a massage therapist of 20 years, I I definitely have some input on this. And I also am certified in yoga, and I've been doing yoga since 1990. So, you know, and I was also a spiritual teacher for seven years, so I did teach meditation as well. Um, so it can be really simple things. It doesn't mean especially for women that are still juggling everything, carving out like five or ten minutes here makes a big difference. Like journaling is huge. And I recommend a stream of consciousness writing where you just have you know a notebook out and you just write for like five minutes and you don't filter it, you don't censor it, you just let it all out because we carry so much junk in our head that it shows up in our body. So once you are able to release that and let it out and do like a clearing process, it's great. It's great to do that like in the morning when you wake up. Um, because there's a book, The Artist Way, that goes over uh morning pages. And even at night, like just getting the junk out of your brain, number one, is a huge thing to do. But simple things like there's all different kinds of meditation, so many meditation apps now that are Amazing. And they don't have to be like, oh, you have 30, it doesn't have to be 30 minutes. It can be two minutes. It can be three minutes. It can be five minutes. There's so many different types of meditations. And one of my favorite ones to do is a yoga nidra, uh, which also is from Arya Veda. Um, but you can do that on an app, you lay down for anywhere between 10 minutes to 30 minutes, and it let helps you to release the stress and tension in the body. It also rejuvenates you and recharges you. So if you're not sleeping through the night, uh, it gives you about six to eight hours worth of sleep within like 20 minutes, which is amazing. And then, of course, there's stretching and yoga. I love, love, love. Love restorative yoga, love yin yoga. Uh, a lot of those poses you can do in bed and you can stretch in a bed, so you don't have to make it this big thing. But I'm like, and I got into yoga, like I said back in 1990 for my BH test tape, because it was the video was hard, but at the end, you get to just lay on the ground in Shavasana, and I'm like, any time of exercise, that laying on the floor and not moving is an exercise. I want to do that. So I just had this love for yoga. So there's all different types of yoga you can do. Um, and then of course, if you can go get a massage every week, absolutely. If you can get a massage twice a week, absolutely, and get an hour and a half massage. Don't get just an hour massage.

SPEAKER_01: 32:43

But I I love all that you just said, and it's just all really good reminders of these like self-care things you can try. Journaling is I I have been I have been preaching journaling to even my clients for years. I am a lifelong journaler, so I know how important that is for me to get it out of my head and onto paper, even if I have to tear it up. I mean, even if I'm like, okay, I don't want anyone to ever see this, you know, it's not for anyone else's eyes. And I think it's such a great practice to be into you'd mentioned the artist's way, which is um one of my favorite all-time books that I yeah, started doing a long, long time ago. And um, I guess I just saw that, I like ran across that book just the other day. I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot like that book. I haven't seen it in a while, but it's yeah, really impactful for me. Um, and yeah, things like yoga. I mean, and I love or sort of yoga and yoga nitra, anything that's you're just lying on the ground. I mean, it counts, it's yoga, right?

SPEAKER_00: 33:43

It does, it does. And sometimes as a woman women, we feel guilty for wanting to take a nap or needing wanting to take that time out for us. And the more you can take care of yourself and fill up your own cup, the more you're going to be able to help other people. Because if you're depleted and drained and you're just cranky and you're not sleeping through the night because your hormones are going crazy or whatever, you're not going to be able to help other people. You're running on empty. So just like with a car, when a car gets empty with gas and needs to be filled up, so do you. And as when we're kind of programmed to not take that care for ourselves that we really need, but when you do take that five, 10, 30 minutes for yourself, it makes such a difference. We, I mean, there's a reason we have spa days, okay? There's a reason they've created a whole menu around a spa day um because we need it, you know, and that's how we rejuvenate. Um, and I have a whole chapter in my book on self-care, and I do talk about it in my book, and I've had to like cut things out, like, I really want to have all this in there, but it's so important. So I'm so glad that you, you know, that you appreciate these things too, because it's important.

SPEAKER_01: 34:45

Yeah, I I just um just heard the very overused line of putting the oxygen on you, mask on you first, so then you can help everyone else. I know I I like I hear that all the time, but it was just a good reminder that you know, you have to take care of yourself first. You can't you cannot take care of everyone else if you are not, you know, at good care with you. And so all these little things really just help. And I think that what they also do is just help to calm down your nervous system. And if you want to look at it just even from a diet and weight and you know, like anything like that standpoint, the more your nervous system is calmed down and your cortisol levels are just, you know, low, the better your metabolism is, the easier it will be to lose weight. And and and I don't know, I I hear a lot of women say, I spent a couple of weeks in traveling in Italy or like and I was eating pasta every single day, but it's like so weird. I lost five pounds. I'm like, well, I think one of the reasons, the big reasons, is that you're probably at a low stress level, right? You're enjoying yourself. So I think anything that's, I mean, the self-care is all good, but it also has to bring you some joy too, right? And feel good. And these are things, right, doable things that look, you know, you can look really look forward to.

SPEAKER_00: 36:12

Exactly. And joy is such a huge component in life that we overlook, especially in the Western culture. We're into the hustle and the grind and we have to do more and accomplish more, and we have to keep going. Whereas other countries, especially Italy, they're like, oh, we're just gonna like relax. We're not gonna do all that those stressful things. You know, and there's a reason, you know, that in different parts of Mexico and Spain, they have siestas where you're literally taking a couple of hours off during the the middle part of the day because it is a house part of the day. But also to eat, enjoy yourself, take a nap, rejuvenate. And we've just kind of forgotten that in the Western culture, enjoy makes such a difference in our lives. Because something else I did think about, like one of the things being in midlife, is that uh anxiety and depression can actually creep in and be more intensified because our hormones are changing. So being able to cope with that as well um makes a huge difference because sometimes it is just the fluctuation of hormones. We're feeling things more intensely, just like we did when we were in adolescence. This is like adult adolescence that we're going through right now.

SPEAKER_01: 37:16

So Right. It's like uh puberty in reverse. Yes, right. That is so we need that extra care. Yeah, it's like a wild roller coaster sometimes. I mean, your hormones are just going up like all over the place, and and it can really feel intense. So, yeah, so the self-care is really even more important than ever.

SPEAKER_00: 37:39

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 37:40

And I'm so glad that you appreciate that. Oh yeah, oh yeah, I've been through it all. I mean, I feel like I'm I mean, I'm still going, I'm still in it. And you know, and and so it's really taken me also a lot of just thought too about the self-care and like what that actually really means.

SPEAKER_02: 37:57

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01: 37:58

Not just to think about it, like, oh yeah, I should do self-care, but really to live it.

SPEAKER_00: 38:02

Exactly. You could probably ask ChatGPT some questions too. I'm sure that he'll have some suggestions as well.

SPEAKER_01: 38:08

That's a great idea. I know. I love ChatGPT.

SPEAKER_00: 38:13

I don't I have two minutes, what can I do to relax?

SPEAKER_01: 38:18

That's too funny. But I mean, yeah, ChatGPT will probably come up with all sorts of great ideas that we haven't even thought of or talked about today. So do you feel like living abroad is because I'm sure my listeners will be like kind of curious about this. Do you feel like this has changed? I mean, would will you ever come back and live in the United States? Or do you feel like you'd like live a simpler, better, more caring life abroad?

SPEAKER_00: 38:46

Yes, I do. I love living internationally. I absolutely do. Um, and I love having freedom in my life. Freedom is such a huge, it's a huge thing for me. Um, because I I I didn't have children, I had dogs and I had a house. And so I knew my responsibilities were to my dogs, my house, and I brought my dogs with me to Mexico. But it's for me, like as much as I appreciate being an American and appreciate having a really good passport, um, I love living internationally so much more because I love different cultures. I love the little things about it. Okay, because it's like um in Mexico and here in Colombia, they have like little tiendas, which are little stores, like little convenience stores that are run by run by local people. And everyone is different. So it's not like going into a 7-Eleven or a quick trip or something, you know, it's like they have like kind of the same things, but they're different. You it's like the surprise, you never know what you're gonna find. Um, and there's they're selling street food. And I literally just went this morning and got like a fresh squeezed orange juice for like a dollar twenty-five. You know, so from this woman that just brings me so much joy when I see her. So it's the little things. I don't have a car anymore. I walk, or there's bicycles, um, or the Ubers are really cheap, or there's a metro. So I like to live in walking areas where I can get around pretty easily. So I don't have a cart, I don't have a car insurance, I don't have car repairs. So that makes life a little bit easier. Um, and it's just a different way of living. So my life is simpler and I really appreciate it. Um, and so when I travel, I will either like I love luxury hotels and things like that. It's wonderful, but a lot of times I will rent rooms off of Airbnb because I like people, I like to talk and I like that human connection, and I like having a host that can kind of direct me and give you pointers for wherever I'm at, which makes it easier to get around. Um, and to know, well, this is the best restaurant, or you want to do your shopping over here, or things like that little thing. But it's really nice to have another person there, and then you meet other people too when you're traveling, and that is one of the things I love the most. Like, I am planning on coming back to Medellin um because at first when I got here, I was like, it's not really my kind of place. Uh, it's a very new city, it's very new, it's kind of warm. So, um, but I've met some really great people here and just the connections I have with people. I like I would not be leaving, but my visa is expiring and they will not extend it for me. And I'm like, oh like I literally I literally buying my plate because I was just hoping it would get extended, but it's I I've reached my extension, so but I can come back next year. So the thing about traveling is go and just explore places, even cities you don't know that you might might may or may not like. Like some cities you're like, oh, I'm gonna love this, and then you don't. But if you spend more time there, then it might turn around. But traveling is one of the best experiences you can have, it is the best investment you can make in yourself, and it does not have to be expensive. And that is what a lot of people get tripped up on, especially in the state. They think, oh, I don't have the money, I don't have the time, whatever. It doesn't have to be expensive. I actually knew a girl um that I met in 2020. She literally rode her bike uh from San Diego, California down to uh San Miguel Alianda in Mexico. That's a very, very long bike ride, okay? And I was just like, whoa. But she had like a tent and she was camping in the woods and she had like a little camping stove, so she would make like and she was vegetarian, so she would make her vegetarian dishes, and that's what she did. And so she was literally living on nothing. Um and getting to explore Mexico. So it's like when people are like, oh, I don't have enough money, it's like you might not have enough money to stay in uh the four seasons every night. Okay, you might not. That but there's house sitting, you can do house sitting and pet sitting around the world, you know, you can do work away, which where you can go and work and uh it goes towards your room and boards, so you can actually live for free just by donating some of your time. So there's ways to do it where it doesn't have to be expensive, but you get the experience because I do think experience will change your life, it'll change who you are, and it's something you will have with you for the rest of your life. Whereas whatever car you're going to buy next, you're not gonna have that for the rest of your life, you're gonna have to buy a different one. So having those experiences, I I think it just makes such a difference. And I can talk about traveling in this all day, so it's something I'm really passionate about, and it changed my life so profoundly. And so I want to encourage women because also traveling by ourselves sometimes we get scared. Um, even younger women, but oh, I'm but don't be like there's lots of ways in this day and age to be safe, to know where you're going, to translate the language. People are very friendly all around the world. Like if you have like an open-minded and open heart, um, and you're aware of your surroundings and things, like you're gonna make such amazing friends and connections, and you're just gonna have a great time. So don't let being single stab you. And then if you want to go on a tour or retreat, you can do that, but you can do it by yourself too, like I have. And I am directionally challenged, like you would not believe. And I get horrible travel anxiety. So I it's not easy for me. It's not, but it's so worth it. And that's that's really it's changed my life, and it's something I'm deeply passionate about. So that's why I do it.

SPEAKER_01: 44:06

Well, you are truly inspiring. I mean, that's so as you're describing it and saying it, I'm like, yes, I'm I'm going, because it sounds like you know, for you, two of your big values, and maybe I'm wrong, but um, are simplicity. I mean, I love the fact that you just don't have a car, you don't, you don't have any of those big attachments and also freedom. And I think for so many women, like that freedom, you know, value is huge. Just to feel like you can't, you can, you can go. And and I think we limit ourselves a lot. I think you're right, by thinking it's going to be too expensive, I can't go alone, it's too scary, it's I don't like to get on planes, whatever it is, you know, whatever. And but freedom sounds really energizing.

SPEAKER_00: 44:57

Exactly. And it's isn't this near and dear to my heart. And my bigger vision is to create co-living or uh co-living spaces around the world for women that are traveling in midlife, you know, and to have it like be a palace and have massages and a pool, and so you can connect the divine feminine, and we can teach each other's and share ideas and help each other grow. So that's like my bigger vision. Uh I don't know, women, I love it. I know, right? I know. I got really inspired in Spain, like going to the palaces, and I'm like, we need this. Like women, we need it. We need to be, we need to get recharged and decompressed and you know, plug back into the sisterhood instead of thinking women are competition. We're not. Like we're here to help each other out into rise.

SPEAKER_01: 45:40

I love it. I hope that you do it, because that that would be that would be fantastic. Very needed, I think. Well, Tina, this has been so wonderful talking to you and just getting completely inspired by all of what you're saying, the traveling and and just kind of reinventing yourself in midlife. And and how can people get in touch with you? How can they find your book? When is your book coming out?

SPEAKER_00: 46:09

The easiest way to contact me is beacons.ai backslash transform be courageous. And I am transform be courageous on TikTok and Instagram. Okay. Um, and the book is in pre-sale right now. It will also be on Amazon soon for pre-sale and then for purchase, uh, December 30th is my target date. So it's be releasing it. Um but yeah, so you can visit me there. And I do actually have a freebie on a little gift for people on my uh beacons.ai backslash transform be courageous. And it is a little travel guide. It's just a fun one to kind of help kind of move you along there and get you inspired to go travel.

SPEAKER_01: 46:48

That sounds that sounds wonderful. And I will put all of your links in the show notes so then people can find you that way. And I want to thank you so much for coming on. This has been this has been really great and really inspiring.

SPEAKER_00: 47:02

My pleasure is always so great talking with you. Like I absolutely love it. And I learned so much from you. So I really appreciate your wisdom. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 47:10

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 47:11

That's nice to hear too. Have a great day.