The Type of Relationship Disconnect You Need to Know About (229)

In this episode of The Conscious Couples Podcast, hosts Emilia Smith and Alan Lazaros break down the relationship disconnects many couples miss, especially the words that come out when someone feels hurt, blamed, or misunderstood. They show how red button language like criticism, threats, shutdowns, character attacks, and “always” or “never” statements can turn one hard moment into lasting distance.

You’ll hear why repair matters more than winning, how ownership changes the whole tone of a conversation, and how green button language helps couples return to honesty, care, and connection. For conscious couples and singles who want safer love and fewer emotional landmines, listen before your next “small” comment needs legal representation.

Show notes:
(2:28) Red button and green button language
(5:51) Why conflict needs repair
(7:48) Common red button examples
(13:12) How language impacts your partner
(16:26) Why ownership matters in love
(22:37) Green button language examples
(24:40) Outro

The We Dictionary:

• Conscious Singles - A concept extending the podcast's philosophy to individuals who are "Grounding" and seeking to build "Lasting connection" in future "Conscious Couples" relationships.
• Failing Forward - A concept encouraging growth through mistakes and using challenges as opportunities for "Honest reflection" and learning.

Digital Assets:
1. Green Button Language - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EVNS8l72orod3PqOV7vSoO_Hl9sPiGYP/view?usp=drive_link
2. Red Button Language - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Dzw3CSFHBVSa0TpCVvu8tkD1Wr4Xx7lz/view?usp=drive_link

Movie Reference:
Anyone But You - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt26047818/

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📅 Join the next free Relationship Talks Virtual Event #61 on Thursday, July 16th, 2026, at 06:00 pm Eastern Time: "How to Increase Your Self-Worth & Standards in Your Relationship" - https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/q-VuVxvAQPKaoOPN_M1oWQ

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Emilia Smith: @evolvewithemilia
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*Email:* 💬
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Transcript

Emilia Smith

(0:03) Conscious Couples, business partners, and individuals, welcome to the Conscious Couples podcast where we share our life, love story, and relationship expertise to help you consistently cultivate the most magnificent relationship possible.

Alan Lazaros

(0:18) Never again will you feel hopeless and alone in your intimate relationship challenges. (0:23) We'll help you have the courage to be your authentic self, communicate effectively, and constructively resolve conflict.

Emilia Smith

(0:31) Having accumulated thousands of hours coaching, speaking, podcasting, and hosting live events with conscious couples all over the world, Alan and I are here to guide you in all things relationships.

Alan Lazaros

(0:44) Thank you again for tuning into the one place where it's not about you or me, it's about the we. (0:55) Conscious couples and individuals from all over the world, welcome back to another episode of the Conscious Couples podcast, today we have episode 229, the type of relationship disconnects you need to know. (1:08) This is going to be an event recap.(1:10) We had our 60th month in a row, 60th virtual event. (1:15) Thank you so much for those of you who did come, for those of you who did not, how dare you? (1:20) I'm just joking.(1:22) Before I jump into this episode, I want to remind everyone why we're here. (1:25) We are here to improve our intimate relationship from the inside out. (1:28) It's Saturday, I'm in a good mood, and ladies first, my love.(1:31) I love that for you, I love that for us.

Emilia Smith

(1:33) Does that mean you're not in a good mood? (1:36) I would say I'm in a lovely mood. (1:41) So my intention for today's episode, despite my mood, however you want to say it, is to make sure that not only do we do a good, high quality event recap, but ultimately so that you as a conscious couple or conscious single are hearing this and understanding where you might be unintentionally disconnecting your relationship and what to do about that at the very base level, specifically language.

Alan Lazaros

(2:14) Yeah, so Emilia created a concept called red button language and green button language. (2:22) One of them disconnects, one of them reconnects. (2:25) We're going to get into that.(2:26) Before we do so, at the event we used a film called Anyone But You. (2:34) Now before we talk about this film, if you have seen it, you already know this. (2:39) If you haven't seen it, you don't.(2:42) That movie is ridiculous. (2:44) We'll put the link to the IMDB down below in the show notes. (2:47) Yes, we will.(2:48) So Emilia calls it a com-rom instead of a rom-com, and the reason why is it's more comedy than it is romantic.

Emilia Smith

(2:54) Way more comedy.

Alan Lazaros

(2:54) And it is outrageous in the best way. (2:57) I thought it was hilarious. (2:58) I really did.(2:59) If the purpose was laughing, they did a good job. (3:02) They crushed it. (3:03) They did a good job with a few unsavory scenes.(3:07) Anyways, we used this as an example, and there's one scene in particular where I'm going to have to provide context to the film. (3:13) I'm going to try to do this. (3:14) So I'm going to try to condense a two-hour long movie into two minutes here.(3:19) Boy meets girl in a coffee shop. (3:21) Nice. (3:22) They have the best freaking first date of all time, to the point where they stay up late making grilled cheeses together and talking.(3:30) Yeah, they fall asleep snuggling. (3:31) Best first date they've both ever had. (3:34) They both wake up in the morning after snuggles, and they kind of freak out because they're sort of falling for each other, and they've never felt this way before, and so they do what anyone would do, which is ruin it.(3:45) No, so she leaves and kind of sneaks out, quote unquote, and when she comes back, well, she calls her friend, and when she comes back, he's talking to his friend who just got home, his roommate, and he's so scared, and he's upset and hurt that she left, so he like talks shit about her behind her back, and she overhears it. (4:05) So they go from like best first date ever to basically hating each other, and then they reconnect six months later or so, where two people they're extremely close with are getting married at the same destination wedding in Australia. (4:20) Boom, stage is set.

Emilia Smith

(4:21) Nice.

Alan Lazaros

(4:22) Thank you. (4:23) They then... (4:24) And they have to share a house together.

Emilia Smith

(4:26) They have to share a house together. (4:27) There was no... (4:28) In between that moment and this whole wedding, there was no repair, no nothing, so they're arch nemesis at this point because they just are really, really hurt deep down, but not willing to share.(4:43) And they both blame each other for...

Alan Lazaros

(4:45) Yeah. (4:45) Yeah. (4:46) And so their exes both end up there.(4:48) Also at the retreat, or it was a whole house that everyone was sharing. (4:55) And in order to get their exes back, essentially, or the girl wanted the ex off her back, he wanted his ex back. (5:03) They pretended to be together, which is why it was so funny.(5:06) Because they basically hate each other and they're pretending to be together, and it's the funniest thing ever. (5:10) But anyway, so eventually they do, of course, start to fall in love again. (5:15) And they end up in this huge fight because he revealed something to his friend that she told him in private, and then the whole Brady bunch found out about it, and it was this fight scene.(5:29) And in this fight scene, they were really, really cruel to each other. (5:33) And this is after they actually were falling in love. (5:35) And that's the stage is set.(5:37) So the point of this event is to identify red button languages, because that's what they were using. (5:44) They were basically blaming and shaming. (5:46) And green button languages is reconnection languages.(5:49) So let's move to that.

Emilia Smith

(5:51) Yeah. (5:52) So why that set the scene really does matter is because all of us at one point or another, we end up putting our heart on the line for love. (6:02) We end up getting hurt, whether you're in a relationship, long term, short term, whatever.(6:06) And you get hurt as a result of that. (6:08) And then what you do in the aftermath of that hurt or that conflict is really what determines a high quality, satisfying relationship. (6:17) And most people never repair after that, after the conflict.(6:21) And during conflict, you say things that you don't mean. (6:23) And that's a huge disconnect that so few couples know how to repair after, which is where the green button language comes in to help actually that process of repairing. (6:35) Because when you go out of connection to your partner or someone that you like or love or what have you, be it you've been in a relationship for a couple of years, or it's been a couple decades at this point, the red button language is something that couples unintentionally go near and press, which is criticism, blame, contempt, character attacks, threats, withdrawal, absolutes.(6:59) That's where the always or never comes in. (7:02) And red button language, it's really hard to recover from. (7:06) And that's the thing that this episode and this whole event was about, how when you do go near that, because no one really taught us those skills of how to navigate when you're so hurt and when your heart feels like it's getting stabbed or you feel like your partner is lashing out, like how do you really recover from that?(7:23) And so through the event, we went through a couple of different rupture repair cycle process that includes the language that is necessary to ultimately return back to connection. (7:34) And really what this event was all about was turning conflict itself into connection. (7:40) So for this episode, we want to pull out how do you navigate in the aftermath of a disconnect like that?

Alan Lazaros

(7:48) So trying to get some tangible examples, because all those are concepts, we need to get some tangible examples of each of these. (7:54) So criticism, blame, defensiveness, character attacks, absolutes, always and never, threats and withdrawal. (8:00) She said something in the movie of no one can ever trust you and that's why you're alone.

Emilia Smith

(8:06) Yes.

Alan Lazaros

(8:07) Yeah, what's your excuse? (8:08) And they just start attacking each other. (8:10) Guys like you.(8:10) Yeah, guys like you. (8:11) And she refers to him as an F boy. (8:13) Yeah.(8:13) So we need to come up with an example of each of these. (8:18) Criticism is pretty easy. (8:20) You basically attack something about them.(8:24) What did I say to Kev recently that I regretted? (8:27) And Kev's my business partner, and I was making a joke and he's short. (8:34) And so we have the next slide.(8:36) This is it's funny. (8:38) And he laughed, too. (8:39) But I could tell it was like, oh, Alan, you idiot.(8:42) Yeah, I crossed the line. (8:43) I crossed the line. (8:43) A little bit.(8:44) So we have an event coming up for the Next Level Hope Foundation on Sunday, and we got all these shirts in and I was super playful with this. (8:53) So he could tell in my energy I was being playful. (8:55) But I basically said, do you want me to save you a kid's small?

Alan Lazaros

(9:01) I know, I know, because he's little. (9:03) He's jacked, though. (9:04) I thought he was over it.(9:06) He's not over it.

Emilia Smith

(9:07) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(9:07) And he is. (9:08) He like I could just see he was laughing, but he was like, why did you say that?

Alan Lazaros

(9:12) Yeah. (9:14) The truth is, is making fun is fun, but not when it's actually hurtful.

Emilia Smith

(9:20) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(9:20) And the truth is, I didn't think it would be actually hurtful, but, you know, I think it was a little bit. (9:25) And if I were to bring it back up, he'd be like, dude, we're good. (9:27) It's not a big deal.(9:28) But that's an example of unnecessary criticism. (9:31) You can't take those digs at people you care about because it did create a little bit of disconnect in that moment. (9:37) And I wanted to use that as an example.(9:38) As funny as it is, it's still not.

Emilia Smith

(9:40) I would also put that under a little bit of a character attack because you might think that his shortness has has kind of came into his level of character and who he's become as a result of that.

Alan Lazaros

(9:51) So, well, it might have felt like a character attack, but it wasn't from my perspective.

Emilia Smith

(9:55) Right, right, right. (9:55) And that's that's it right there. (9:57) I love that because ultimately the example is the fact that regardless of what your intention was, I meant it to be a bodybuilding.

Alan Lazaros

(10:05) Exactly. (10:05) Like he yes, he jokes with me all the time about stuff. (10:08) I didn't mean the short thing.

Emilia Smith

(10:09) No, and that's where that's where this connect like this, this language and what we say and how we say it and the tone in which we say it and the timing in which we say it to our partners. (10:18) Language is everything. (10:20) And you might not mean to hurt your partner, but you do.(10:25) And what do you do in the aftermath of that when you're blaming them for not taking out the trash and all of a sudden the trash doesn't get picked up? (10:33) Do you blame them for that because they missed it? (10:35) Or do you kind of go near your feelings and say how you're feeling vulnerably and kind of repair the fact that, hey, I realize I just blamed you in that moment.(10:46) And that wasn't really fair to you. (10:47) Is it?

Alan Lazaros

(10:48) I was upset if they were supposed to take out the trash.

Emilia Smith

(10:50) OK, yeah, could be. (10:51) Yeah. (10:51) But here's it's less about whether that happens or not and how you show up in the relationship on the language.

Alan Lazaros

(10:57) That's a bad example, in my opinion.

Emilia Smith

(10:58) OK, then bring another one.

Alan Lazaros

(11:00) Well, I'm going to so with the camp thing, I'm going to go back and talk to him about it and I'm going to say I'm sorry.

Emilia Smith

(11:07) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(11:07) And then he'll know that I know that that wasn't right. (11:12) And I intend on that, you know, I already intended on it.

Emilia Smith

(11:15) And you're doing something very beautiful and not because you're going back way after the fact and repairing the relationship, which a lot of people don't do.

Alan Lazaros

(11:21) Got to. (11:22) Yeah, you got to like because it's been I've been thinking about it. (11:26) I was like, you know, that wasn't very kind and that's who I want to be.(11:30) So I think that's a really good example. (11:32) I think that taking out the trash example with love is not a good one because that's not there's no character attack in that. (11:38) I mean, let's let's talk about the ones that really hurt people, not to call you out on your example.(11:43) I just do you want to explain that better? (11:46) Now, if someone was supposed to take out the trash and didn't like you're allowed to bring it up, you're not supposed to say I'm not saying constantly incompetent. (11:54) I'm not.

Emilia Smith

(11:54) I'm not saying that you're what I think the attempt to articulate that example was was the fact that you might not know that they might have gotten a phone call from their mom or dad and they got news that totally took them off the rails. (12:09) Right. (12:10) So before getting curious about what happened, going into a blaming and not necessarily getting curious before.(12:17) OK, that's kind of where my perspective on something like that comes. (12:21) It's not it's not about excuse or the example.

Alan Lazaros

(12:24) But honestly, I think the majority of couples are under in that like they're so quick to like, oh, benefit of the doubt, you must have gotten a call instead of like just because we've talked about that with their play. (12:35) I mean, there's a lot of people that are just neglectful.

Emilia Smith

(12:38) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(12:38) And I think more of our listeners are need to step up and actually call people out than they do need to. (12:44) You know what I mean? (12:45) I think they're overly curious and, you know, giving them the benefit of the doubt.(12:48) Oh, it must be something when in reality, that partner might actually just be like neglectful and not really care, caring for sure.

Emilia Smith

(12:55) So in a situation like that, let's say, and that partner comes back and attacks, well, you never take out the trash. (13:03) So why are you blaming me this one time? (13:05) That's again, red button language.(13:06) So that's where ping ponging back and forth to red button language doesn't really get you anywhere in a relationship.

Alan Lazaros

(13:12) If nothing else comes of this episode, what do you want to make sure everyone leaves with?

Emilia Smith

(13:17) I would say for this episode in particular, I think that it's really important that everyone leaves with noticing how their language has an impact on their partner, which is where green button language comes in, which is you instead of focusing in on you, you, you, which I find a lot of people actually do to kind of your comment earlier, focus on me. (13:40) I can see how that hurt you. (13:43) And I'm noticing inside of me that I feel really bad about that or I can understand that I might have just hurt your feelings there.

Alan Lazaros

(13:50) So the core of the problem is people are using red button language. (13:57) We're going to put these assets in the show notes, right? (14:00) Yeah.(14:00) Yeah. (14:00) So both of these digital assets will be in the show notes. (14:02) There's red button language and green button language.(14:04) We have it up there. (14:05) I just don't know how to articulate this well. (14:08) Like I want us to make this clearer, like threats, withdrawal, character attacks, defensiveness, blame, criticism and absolutes.(14:15) Like how does someone know when it's red button versus green button language? (14:19) It's in the energy, right?

Emilia Smith

(14:21) It's, it's, it's definitely in the energy. (14:24) It is protective in the nature of it. (14:27) And it focuses in on the me, me, me.(14:30) So for example, if you're saying, okay, well, I am just going to leave and you can go cool off or whatever, like that. (14:38) I'm just going to leave without a communication on, I'm going to come back in five minutes and check in on you.

Alan Lazaros

(14:43) But babe, if someone's attacking you, it doesn't seem like me, me, me. (14:48) Like when he was saying like, oh really? (14:50) Well then what's your excuse?(14:51) It doesn't seem like it's about me.

Emilia Smith

(14:53) You know what I mean? (14:54) The yes. (14:55) Yeah, I do see what you mean.(14:58) And that's kind of where the tricky aspect of this is.

Alan Lazaros

(15:01) It's protective in nature. (15:02) You're trying to protect your heart basically. (15:04) And you're not vulnerable.(15:05) You're not courageous. (15:06) Maybe it's better to think of what it isn't. (15:08) Sure.(15:08) So, so green button language. (15:10) How do you know when someone's using green button language? (15:12) Cause this is really just violent communication versus nonviolent communication, essentially.

Emilia Smith

(15:16) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(15:16) Right.

Emilia Smith

(15:17) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(15:17) Okay. (15:17) So how does someone know, like, how would someone, if they've never heard this before, how would they identify violent communication versus nonviolent communication?

Emilia Smith

(15:26) I would say violent communication. (15:30) I would first look at the level of arousal, AKA, like how intense is it being said, whatever it is. (15:37) And then I would look at the actual content of the words.(15:40) Are they hurtful at some point or another or, and that's, so that's red button. (15:46) If it's extremely intense and hurtful, that's red button language. (15:50) Whereas on the other hand, green button languages, it can be intense, but more likely than not, it's more emotionally regulated and responsible at that.(15:58) Because you're mindful of the impact of how your words can come off and the content of it, it focuses on a understanding of the impact of what I say impacts you. (16:09) What you say impacts me. (16:10) And so there's more of like a, we centric standpoint in the, the conversation or what's said, et cetera.(16:15) And it's, I own my part. (16:17) I'm not going to blame you. (16:19) I'm owning my part.(16:20) And I recognize that my part might have impacted you. (16:23) And that's essentially the, the two primary elements.

Alan Lazaros

(16:26) And what if you have a partner who doesn't own their part?

Emilia Smith

(16:29) That's where it, that creates a whole different dynamic because if they're not owning their part to the types of disconnects that people don't know about, there's never going to be able to be a repair.

Alan Lazaros

(16:43) Yeah, exactly. (16:44) What would you say to our listeners who have a partner that never owns their part? (16:48) Cause I think, I feel like that's fairly common.

Emilia Smith

(16:52) I would return that question back to you, my love, because I know you're very passionate about that. (16:57) What would you say to someone who doesn't take ownership?

Alan Lazaros

(17:02) Leave them immediately. (17:03) Uh, I really wanted to hear from you. (17:08) I didn't really want you to return it back to me, but I can, I would say anyone, if you're, if you have a partner who doesn't take explicit ownership, that's a big red flag for sure.(17:19) For sure. (17:20) Because they, they, they will never improve basically. (17:23) I don't think you can improve without ownership.

Emilia Smith

(17:25) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(17:25) At least not consciously.

Emilia Smith

(17:26) Was it the event where you and I concluded in that together where we both said that, like, if you're not willing to take ownership, was it that or another episode where we said that?

Alan Lazaros

(17:37) I think this is a long time ago, but for me, and I'll just bring everyone behind the scenes here, like if I don't get explicit ownership of both of our sides, I don't feel certain that anything will change. (17:49) Um, and, and honestly, even if I do take ownership, sometimes you don't know if things will change because ownership is step one. (17:56) Implementation is step two and implementation is harder for me.(17:58) Ownership is easy for me. (17:59) Implementation can be challenging.

Emilia Smith

(18:01) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(18:01) Uh, and you care more about implementation. (18:04) I care more about ownership. (18:05) Like you can fail forward all day, but I need to know that you know that it's you.

Emilia Smith

(18:09) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(18:09) Um, and the reason why is because I used to take all the ownership and I got all the improvements and I changed everything and the relationship still got worse. (18:17) Um, and I think that's like green button language and red button language. (18:21) It's so, it's so hard to explain, but you can tell like absolutes, like you always lie, what, and this is not something that was ever said to me, but like, if, if I were to watch a fight, like you always lie, you never take out the trash.(18:41) Like that would blanket statements that are, that are absolutes. (18:45) Um, and then criticism is like, like I mentioned with Kev, like that was unnecessary blame. (18:52) That one's hard because sometimes it is the other person.

Emilia Smith

(18:56) Well, that, that's where accurate accountability I think is very different than blame. (19:00) Blame is over the line of what is an accurate accountability and what is proportional to someone.

Alan Lazaros

(19:05) An example of blame versus accountability. (19:12) Cause all of this comes down to like, I don't think you can use green button language unless you're with a partner who takes ownership. (19:18) That's kind of what's jumping off the page for me.

Emilia Smith

(19:21) I disagree with that with all the love, because of the fact that you can be someone who goes near green button language often and your partner can still be a jerk and always go near it. (19:31) And then eventually you will end up mirroring. (19:34) Like I hear a lot from some people, like I didn't want to be, become this person with this partner.(19:40) I realized I've become this person that I don't even like. (19:42) Like you become someone you don't even like. (19:44) And that's because you have stayed in and not leveled up your skillset with respects to dealing with that.(19:50) So while I'm with you, exactly. (19:52) While I'm with you, just leave them. (19:54) In all reality, that's not how relationships just immediately work.

Alan Lazaros

(19:58) And I didn't mean that. (19:59) I didn't mean that literally.

Emilia Smith

(20:00) I know.

Alan Lazaros

(20:01) Like, but if you spend years trying to get your partner to take a lick of ownership and they never do, like you do have to leave. (20:08) I, you can't have a magnificent relationship without ownership.

Emilia Smith

(20:11) You like, there is eventually the boundaries that have to get eventually, you know, you're only trading in yourself for so much. (20:17) Um, until you actually do have to leave a client who deals with red button language a lot. (20:22) Yeah.(20:23) Yeah, I do. (20:24) Can you share an example? (20:26) Um, off of recall, that might be difficult, but what I can say is that the dysregulation of that client.(20:35) And I think I'm thinking of another client when they're dysregulated, that's where their parts go near red button language. (20:42) I'm just going to go leave or I'm going to, how is that red button language? (20:47) Because it's leave.(20:48) I'm going to leave, which is essentially literally like, I'm going to leave you. (20:52) I'm going to leave period is red button language because of the fact that it's a threat for abandonment so that we can have a vulnerable conversation so that we can, or so that we can, so that we can, or so that we can't. (21:05) So in a situation like that, people who are dysregulated will go near red button language and leaving is abandoning.(21:11) So that's going to highlight the protective mechanisms and the other partner, which then they're going to go near red button language.

Alan Lazaros

(21:17) But if you say, Hey, I have to go. (21:19) I want to return back to this. (21:21) Exactly.(21:22) That's green button. (21:23) Yes. (21:23) Right.(21:24) Okay.

Emilia Smith

(21:24) Yep, exactly. (21:25) Like, Hey, I'm going to go down the street. (21:27) Just take a drive.(21:28) I'm just for myself, my nervous system to cool off because I realize how escalated this is getting and I'm going to return back in five minutes. (21:37) Trust, like I will return back in five minutes, like, or I'm going to go for a walk or I'm going to go to the bathroom and I just need a minute in the shower. (21:43) Like, I love you and I'm going to come back and we're going to get through this.(21:46) That's a very different element is you take responsibility for the impact that you're having on your partner. (21:52) And that is like the undercurrent here for the types of disconnects you need to know about if you're not taking responsibility for the impact that you have on your partner, you're not going to be able to fix or implement some of these things that are really challenging in general, not to mention extraordinarily more difficult when you don't have responsibility and ownership at the center.

Alan Lazaros

(22:13) When we were watching this movie, not just the movie itself, but at the event, we picked three clips. (22:19) It was so obvious to me. (22:20) And I think that this is obvious to me now because we've done this work for so long, but it's like, you two are both just super hurt and you're both just, just attacking each other instead of being vulnerable.(22:33) Like if you were just humble, courageous and vulnerable and candor, you would solve all of this. (22:39) This would all solve. (22:40) If one of you would just put your heart out and say, Hey, I'm really hurt.(22:44) I actually really like you a lot. (22:46) And I'm upset that I screwed it up.

Emilia Smith

(22:48) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(22:48) Like then everything would be fine. (22:50) But that instead of just attacking each other. (22:53) Yeah.(22:53) That's so scary. (22:54) Emotionally scary.

Alan Lazaros

(22:55) Right.

Alan Lazaros

(22:55) Yeah. (22:56) So that's the goal really. (22:58) If I, if I could, you know, highlight one thing in here is, is green button language is humble, curious, courageous, vulnerable, and candid.(23:11) And red button language is outward and, and, or like fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, like, and, and it really is that simple. (23:22) And you have to identify when you're doing that, like in the middle of this episode, there was a moment where I shifted into, and I had to shift back into being on the same team. (23:31) Right.(23:32) And so hopefully that was a live demonstration. (23:35) Uh, I got to jump. (23:37) So, um, if you want help in this red button language, green button language, at very least take a look at the digital assets.(23:43) I would love it if we could put some examples so I can see how that hurt. (23:47) That wasn't my intention. (23:48) Can we start over?(23:49) I understand your perspective. (23:50) I'm feeling hurt too. (23:51) Those are green button language examples that Amelia has here.(23:55) Um, anything you want to add before we go? (23:56) Nope. (23:57) All right.(23:58) Thank you. (23:58) As always, uh, we have a relationship talks, virtual event coming up.

Emilia Smith

(24:01) Yes, we do. (24:02) And that will be on July 16th, how to increase your self-worth and your standards in your relationships. (24:10) And for anyone that's ever felt like you have to trade off your standards and your self-worth to be in a relationship with your partner, this one's definitely for you.(24:18) Um, but outside of that, we all have a challenge when it comes to this at some point or another. (24:24) And so join us in that event, that link to register will be in the show notes.

Alan Lazaros

(24:28) If you have low standards and low self-worth, you're most likely tolerating more red button language than what is healthy. (24:37) Is that fair? (24:38) Yeah.(24:39) Yeah. (24:40) All right. (24:40) Thank you all.(24:40) We appreciate it. (24:41) As always, it's not about you or me. (24:43) It's about we'll talk to you next time.

Emilia Smith

(24:45) Bye everyone. (24:47) Thanks for joining us for another episode of the conscious couples podcast. (24:51) We love connecting with the conscious couples community.(24:54) So please check the show notes to connect with us and say hello on social media.

Alan Lazaros

(24:58) If you and your partner resonated with this episode, please leave us a five star review at the link in the show notes and share this with someone you love until next time, it's not about you or me. (25:10) It's about the, we will talk to you next time.