Ep. 157 - Protect Your Brain from the Energy Drain

Time is limited—but how we manage our energy determines how far that time can take us. It’s not just the big interruptions that steal our time—it’s the constant stream of small distractions that quietly drain our focus throughout the day. Whether it’s tech, pop-up people, or scrolling, little moments add up fast. In this episode, we’re diving into practical ways to guard your attention, set boundaries, and stay on track so your day doesn’t slip away without you realizing it. 

Transcript

One of my most popular topics for workshops and keynotes is on time management and productivity. Both are common daily struggles for many of us – and I continue to be a student of my own material frequently. 

This was embarrassingly true just last week when I was enjoying a slow spring morning and then got a text from my out-of-town friend asking if we were still meeting for breakfast. We had texted about dates the week before and picked a time and place (which was right that minute), but somehow those details never got from the phone to my brain (or to the calendar). Thankfully, he forgave me, and we met up the next day (and I set a few alarms just to be safe).

In our digital days, there are so many places for the details to go that even our best intentions aren’t always a match for the distractions that derail us…and then leave us drained. 

Today’s conversation is part-two on the vampire drains that affect our life with subtle but steady leaks of time, money, and energy. The Bottom Line on Top of this episode is that while time is a finite asset, we can maximize it by preserving and investing in our energy. 

Part one was episode 156 and that was about vampire expenses—the small, sneaky financial hits that quietly drain your wallet. Today, we’re looking at a different kind of expense—one that slowly erodes your mood, motivation, and mental bandwidth.

One of the biggest hidden drains in modern life is the cost of our attention. Not just what you’re focused on—but all the things you're nudged to pay attention to instead. The two biggest drains in my experience are pings and people. 

The pings are all the buzzes and beeps of technology around us that offer ready reminders to engage with a screen. Maybe the screen is even on your wrist right now. 

And then there is the pull of people – both the people we happily want to be distracted by and so many others that we don’t. From sales pitches to unexpected drop-ins, somebody always seems to be looking for something. 

From a brain science perspective, each one of those moments comes with what’s called a task-switching cost – this is also known as multitasking (psst, if this is you, go listen to episode 3). Every time your attention gets pulled from what you’re doing in the now—even briefly—your brain has to pause, refocus, and reset.

Repeated interruptions not only steal time but increase your mental fatigue. Studies in cognitive science show that the brain’s working memory - its short-term holding space - gets overloaded more quickly when we are multitasking, this makes it harder to problem-solve and even harder to regulate emotions later in the day.

Research shows that it takes an average of 23 minutes to return to full focus after an interruption. Even a small one. That’s because your brain holds onto a bit of the previous task like a tab left open in your mental browser.

And those tabs add up.

When someone says, “Do you have a minute?” what they’re really asking is: “Can I borrow your focus, your talent, and your processing power for a while?”

And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Connection is important. So is collaboration and creativity.
But when you say yes to every “just a minute,” you’re borrowing time and energy from somewhere else. And that’s usually from yourself.

And if you're the go-to person for quick fixes, quiet listening, and calming down of situations—that's emotional labor. Even when you care. Even when you're good at it, or especially when you are. I’d rather be a hero to somebody else sometimes than deal with my pile of less fulfilling tasks. That’s the human in us.

But that’s also where the illusion of productivity comes in: You were busy all day. You helped other people. You replied right away. And yet—you’re ending the day feeling unaccomplished and overextended. Because sometimes, your day became somebody else’s to-do list.

There’s a name for this in psychology: ego depletion. It refers to how our brain’s self-regulation system gets fatigued—not just from making decisions, but from holding back reactions, staying polite, being patient, being the bigger person, or simply maintaining composure when your energy is already low. 

Research also connects ego depletion with decision fatigue; this is the idea that the more choices and emotional management you navigate, the less willpower and critical thinking you will have leftover for meaningful work or your own personal needs.

And it’s harder to say no when we feel low. Episode 64 provides prompts to help evaluate the hidden cost of helping and offers eight questions to ask before saying ‘yes.’

So for today, consider:
Where is your energy slipping away, not from doing too much perhaps—but from responding too often?

• Are you interruptible by default?
• Are you part of activities and conversations that aren’t really for you or about you? Check all those group texts.
• Are you overly available so you can be seen by others as needed or important, or generous?

If you find your energy starting to drain (and we all do), here are a few time-based tips to try:

First is to tame the tech. Short periods without technology (even 10–15 minutes) help reduce cortisol levels in your body, and this helps your brain by allowing your prefrontal cortex (the area that does all of our rational thinking) to work better again. 

Without regular breaks, your brain gets stuck in a mild but chronic stress loop. Reduced screen time also improves the regulation of our dopamine, this is especially true if you find yourself looping through social media and reaching for a device whenever there is a notification. 

Perhaps you are deregulated, perhaps you are bored, but you will take whatever comes through that screen. If this sounds in line with what you are dealing with, episode 146 has a deeper outline on what happens to your brain when it gets a digital detox–and it’s a good thing.

Another tactic to try is to timebox whatever is pulling your attention. If it’s a quick task that your brain wants to make sure you don’t forget (like, hey, hey, don’t forget to call the dentist!), try the Two Minute Rule. Episode 126 explains this (in just two minutes of course) but, quickly, the concept means that if the task at hand will take less than two minutes, go ahead and do it now. Your brain gets rewarded with some of that happy dopamine, you complete something, and you’ve got a little extra momentum. 

If you need a little bit more focus than 2 minutes, episode 125 offers the 10 Minute Kickstart as a tool to help overcome procrastination and perfectionism when you’re trying to finish something and instead just lets you focus on starting something. This can also be a tool for those got-a-minute requests, where you can offer 10 minutes or less and build in a hard stop. If you get pushed, try saying: “That’s all the time I can afford” and leave it at that. You don’t have to over explain when people keep fishing for more of your free help.

Finally, if you have a nagging mental item but aren’t able to tackle it at the moment, pick a specific time in the near future (less than 24 hours away) where it will be done. Set a reminder that works (whether it's a sticky note or actual timer) because that will satisfy your brain that you remembered and then it knows it did its job. 

Every time you protect a minute, you’re saving more than your schedule. You’re preserving your energy, your focus, and your priorities.

It’s not about doing more. It’s about doing what matters, with the energy that matches.

A small shift—like a 10-minute kickstart or a tech timeout—can help you reclaim the best of your day, and the best of you.

And that’s one more way you can take care to take good care.