Ep. 190 - The Neuroscience of Giving | Gifts That Cost Little & Mean a Lot

We spend so much time searching for the perfect gift - the right item, the right price point, the right delivery window. But what if the most meaningful gifts aren’t found in a store at all? This episode explores why time, kindness, words, and support often matter more than anything money can buy. Through a brain-science lens, we look at how these everyday, no-cost gifts ease mental load, strengthen connection, and create impact that lasts far beyond the moment. 

Show Notes:

Episode 166: https://youtu.be/aBqJ8rByTXs?si=7LOHWflKQUbhEw4X

Episode 171: https://youtu.be/cSoDHsXDtEE?si=i1LM0Uc2NWejZ4no

Transcript

This week’s episode is a special one because I first shared a version of it in December 2022. Each year since, I’ve come back to refresh it and, honestly, to relearn it. 

It also serves as a reframing since this time of year our feeds and inbox seem full of gift guides, lightning deals, shipping deadlines, and all the subtle pressure to spread holiday magic through spending. 

Today’s conversation is a creative counterbalance to that idea. A small collection of ways to give to others that don’t cost much, but can mean a lot. And if you want to nerd out a bit more on any of these topics, check out the show notes for links to related episodes.

The Bottom Line on Top of this episode this year is that the most meaningful things you can give rarely come from your wallet. Today I am going to share a few of those with you.

The first gift is time.

There’s a lot of science and psychology behind time management. But this idea is about giving time to others. Where can you remove friction, lighten a mental load, or simply be present? Gifts of time can look like running errands for them or with them, calling vs. texting, offering to pitch in for babysitting or caregiving, dropping off a favorite meal, passing along a book that made you think of them, or sharing time on walks or simply sharing a meal. 

The second gift is words.

Words cost nothing, and yet sometimes they can be the hardest thing for us to offer. What I have learned, both personally and through science, is that words left unspoken carry more weight than imperfect, messy ones ever could. So if you have words you have been holding back for whatever reason–maybe you didn’t want to intrude, you didn’t want to make it weird, you didn’t want to get it wrong, consider the gift of giving those words anyway. Let them be imperfect, I bet they will really matter to the other person. The kindest words are not the most elegant or eloquent, they are the ones that actually get shared and more importantly, received.

The third gift is support.

There is so much doing in everyday life, and even more deciding before the doing ever begins. Offering a gift of support can look like borrowed brain power, help making a decision, sharing some momentum, or even body doubling, it’s where you can work side by side with someone. It can also be a trusted recommendation that helps someone skip that research spiral in their head. At its best, support reduces friction for someone else. It can help move them from stuck to started, and maybe even get past the finish line. And that kind of momentum is a gift that lasts longer than the task itself.

The fourth gift is kindness.

Kindness is an acknowledgment in action. It’s offering special recognition, just for that person involved, whether you know them or not. You can do it to strangers, you can do it to groups, you can do it as a volunteer, and you can do it those within your life. It might look like extra gratuity with a note on the receipt. Stopping someone to offer a specific compliment. A thoughtful review or testimonial given for someone you know without being asked. All these simple acts are quietly adding to somebody else’s shine. Kindness creates a sense of safety and connection. The return of your gift may not always be evident, but it is real, and it often travels farther than we can imagine.

And the final gift is one we do not talk about enough. The gift of receiving.

This past weekend, a family friend stepped in to help at a moment’s notice and for most of the day. I was so grateful and I asked him several times how I could repay him. He finally said that me accepting his help was actually a gift I had already given him back. This idea has really stayed with me and helped inspire this episode. We often are rushing around to give so freely to other people, but we skip the part of letting ourselves receive. The grace to accept can become a gift for both people. 

As a recap, the gifts to consider are time, words, support, kindness, and receiving yourself. Nothing fancy, but all within us.

As you consider what and how to give, I hope you also notice the quiet gifts you already carry and the places where you are able to receive some gifts in return. So this season and all throughout the year, take good care.