324. How Can We Build a Strong Future for Our Special Needs Child?

Families navigating a special needs diagnosis often find themselves overwhelmed, emotional, and unsure where to begin. In this episode of A Wiser Retirement® Podcast, Casey Smith sits down with Meaghan Timko, Founder of Parallel and COO of Gradual Behavioral Health, to unpack what thoughtful, proactive planning really looks like for families supporting children with special needs.

Related Podcast Episodes: 

Ep 210. How can I set my child up for financial success?

Ep 279. What Should Parents of Children with Disabilities Know About Estate Planning?

Related Financial Education Videos:

Why Every Parent Should Consider a Roth IRA for Their Child

How do I save money for my child's education?

Other Links:

Parallel

Gradual Behavioral Health

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Transcript

Setting The Stage: Why This Matters

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Every family's journey is different. Today we're going to focus on special needs children and how to care for them. Stay tuned to learn more about the right mindset and financial tools you need to be successful.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Welcome to a wiser retirement podcast, where we cut through the noise and bring you real, honest conversations about investing retirement and building lasting wealth. No sales pitches, no gimmicks, just everything your financial advisor won't tell you.

SPEAKER_03 0:27

Welcome to a wiser retirement podcast. I'm Casey Smith. Today I'm joined with Megan Temco, founder of Parallel and Chief Operating Officer of Gradual Behavioral Health. Hey, Miss Megan.

SPEAKER_06 0:37

Hi, Casey. Thanks so much for having me on today.

SPEAKER_03 0:40

Glad to have you. Let's start, just kind of dive into this. Uh we've had you on before, so you are a two-time guest now or a three-time guest.

SPEAKER_06 0:48

Two-time, three-time, maybe in the future.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

Maybe in the future, two-time guests. Uh so let's this is this is a pretty um heavy topic, but it I think it affects um so many families.

SPEAKER_06 1:00

Yes, so many more than I think people realize.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

You know, we have we have a um a wiser family member client now that uh has a young young son that's dealing with cancer. And I am going to go by and see them at their house on uh this coming up week. Uh really cool um where you have they have a Calendly set up. So if you want to come visit, you go to the this little mini website, you know, and you click on the calendar link, and you it it says um these are the times available. And it's like 30-minute slots.

SPEAKER_05 1:35

Oh, I love that.

unknown 1:36

I love that.

The Hidden Gap In Community Support

SPEAKER_03 1:36

But then at the bottom it said, we just want your prayers and support. Please don't bring toys, you know, and a whole list of things because they're just and I talked to the dad directly. He's like, Man, we're just getting bombarded with uh balloons and toys and just a bunch of stuff we don't need. We don't have a spot for any of this stuff, just like we have everything we need. But then it says, Hey, if you want to help support other kids with cancer, here's a link to support, and then uh here's a meal train, which is really important. So they people have filled out when they bring meals and and everything, right? So this family is going through uh hopefully a very short time period. Maybe it's a year, maybe it's a year and a half, maybe hopefully it's less, but the entire community you can tell is just poor their love and support. They want for nothing. It's great. So let's let's think of let's let's switch this up a second. So with a special needs child, there's the point where you kind of figure figure that something probably is different. And then you you find out, okay, wow, maybe this child's always going to be with me. And and I want to be 70 years old and have a 50-year-old child at home. And this is my life now, good, bad, or indifferent, right? But there's not, I don't there's not that kind of support.

SPEAKER_06 2:54

No, right? There's not, unfortunately, there's not.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

It's like that's not how we think about that's not how we think about special needs children.

Living In Boxes: Parents’ Near-Term Focus

SPEAKER_06 3:03

No, we don't think about special needs children that way. Um, honestly, I think part of it is when you have a small special needs child, um, there's a lot of support from our educational institutions.

SPEAKER_04 3:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 3:17

Um, and so there's sort of like a lot of people in that space and we're working on inclusion. Um, the other thing that's happening at the same time is parents are compartmentalizing everything. Um, and so they're here. They're not thinking about when I'm 70 and my child is 50, what will I do?

SPEAKER_04 3:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 3:36

And I like to think about it whenever I do talks about this. I think, or I tell people rather, think about this like little boxes. These parents are moving into little boxes. I was just diagnosed, or my child was just diagnosed. What do I do? Uh my child just finished therapy. What do I do now? My child is now navigating social skills. What do I do now? My child is transitioning and preparing to go into the adult world. What do I do now? And so on and so forth. Every parent is different where they hit sort of what I think of as like this is terminal velocity, and they go, Oh my gosh, what do I do? Right. Um, you know, there's a uh a colloquialism called the cliff where the services end. Um, and sometimes parents hit their end before or after that. Uh, but there inevitably is a point where the parents go, I don't know what to do.

SPEAKER_03 4:29

Yeah. Um while in the meantime, they're trying to survive day to day in many cases.

SPEAKER_06 4:34

Every day is a little boxed.

SPEAKER_03 4:35

Depending on the severity of what's happening, obviously.

SPEAKER_06 4:38

And it's um, you know, this is I've been in this field for 25 years now. Um, I've been a behavior analyst for 21 years, and I've seen people in home and communities. I've worked with people in several different countries. There's no differences across demographics or location. Everybody has the same fear. Yeah. Everybody has the same wish for their child. And, you know, there's some key things I think that can make a difference for every family that we just don't talk enough about. Yeah. One of those things being money. Right.

Money, Mindset, And Preparedness

SPEAKER_03 5:12

No, no, very true. Very is very resource heavy. And you do have to think about um the planning different. Uh, won't you uh kind of start with talking a little bit about parallel and what you do there and the gradual behavioral um health uh position that you have now as well.

What Parallel And Gradual Do

Define The Life You’re Planning For

SPEAKER_06 5:26

Yeah. Um, because I couldn't get enough jobs. Right. Um, so at parallel, what we do is we help families navigate that post-secondary transition to adulthood. Um, and that looks very different for everybody. It looks very different for every family, it looks very different for every adult child. Um, and so, and sometimes it's not linear. Um, actually, it's quite often not linear. Um I took this role at gradual behavioral health recently because one of the things I started to see was not enough people are prepared when they hit this moment in time. Why is that? I I don't have a full answer for that, but not enough people are hitting this moment prepared either on the family side or on the uh adult child side. And, you know, like I said, some of that has to do with the financial planning part of it. Some of it has to do with the resources part of it, and some of it has to do with, you know, I just didn't even know this was a thing when my kid was first diagnosed.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

So what um what what we start with like what what life are we planning for? So let's let's kind of start with at the very beginning.

SPEAKER_06 6:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

Right.

SPEAKER_06 6:33

So when we think about the life that we're planning for, we're aiming for what is the most independent version of life that this person can have. Um, where will they thrive? What will they be doing? Um, where will they be working if that's in their future? Where will they be living? Um, is it going to be at home? Is it gonna be in an inclusive living situation? You know, you kind of have to think about what are the hopes and dreams of the family and the individual. When they're young, you know, you're kind of you don't know that. You don't, you can start to sort of form a thesis about that as they get a little bit older. Um, but the the no the core of all of that is if you're not planning for that thing, yeah, you will not achieve it. Um financially, you will not achieve it in terms of, you know, social support structure. Um, and skill-wise, you will not achieve that thing if you're not starting early.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

Well, that's probably changing. It's no different than, you know, one of the planning questions we ask is you're 80 years old, you look back on your life, what's it we want to accomplish? Um, but but sometimes those things change. You you want to drive across the country in an RV, and then one day you're like, I don't want to do that. That sounds hardful. Yeah. The roads are really tiny and it always breaks down. And, you know, I don't like emptying the tanks. Yeah. Like we're gonna fly and stay in hotels. Um, so things obviously things can change with a special needs child from from the day you find out to five years to 10 years to 15 years down the road. Um, so how how do you how often are you going back? Should you be going back and revisiting like what your goals and is this something you write down, something you document?

Revisiting Goals And Policy Changes

SPEAKER_06 8:09

Yeah, it's something we document. Honestly, you know, when you think about it clinically, these goals are adjusted every six months. Um, it's no different when you're doing a plan for the future. Um, because things can change so rapidly, both, you know, when you think about um, you know, we were just talking before this about like legislative issues, things can change quickly with um what's available as an opportunity. Yeah. Um, and that can be good or bad. And so if you're not keeping your eye on how are these things changing, you can't change with it. Um what you don't want is to be 80 and have a 50-year-old child and say, oh my gosh, I've been planning for X for all these years and it is no longer available to me. Because then you don't have there's no time left at that point.

Insurance Realities And Timing

SPEAKER_03 8:51

Yeah, correct. Yeah, I we'll get into this later, but you know, I I'm not a big fan of annuities or whole life insurance. And if you plan properly, you shouldn't even need any of those documents. But there are two times when I think whole life insurance makes sense. It's when you're married to someone who's like 10 to 20 years younger than you. And the other time is is exactly like this for special needs. We need to make sure that there's resources available. But if you're 80 years old and you try to pick up a whole life insurance policy, that is not happening.

SPEAKER_07 9:20

Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say, like you asked that question, like, can you do that?

Build The Right Team Early

SPEAKER_03 9:24

You need to be doing that in your in your 40s, right? It needs to be a slow build, not not writing big checks. Um, because you probably wouldn't have the resources at that point. Uh, I don't think anybody's gonna ensure an 80-year-old anyway. Um, okay, so let's talk about some some benefits, uh, foundations that we can build upon when it comes to supporting someone with special needs.

SPEAKER_06 9:43

Um, I think the first thing is you have to build your team early. Um, this is true for everybody that I work with, and whether this is in a clinical capacity or whether this is on the transition planning is who is your team? And so I really like it when we have a few different people on that team. You know, obviously you have the core people, the parents, the siblings, anybody who's a close caregiver. Um I love it when there's a wealth manager, an experienced wealth manager who knows about these things. Um, and then a special needs trust attorney. Um, and those three people are my personal trifecta for like we have got this down.

SPEAKER_05 10:20

Right.

SPEAKER_06 10:20

Um, so when I walk into a team where at least I can build a team that's focused on those things, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna feel good about where this child is going eventually because we have the right people here at play.

Finding True Special Needs Attorneys

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Yeah, that makes sense. And it's really no different than normal financial planning. You know, you always want to have an advisor that's coordinating with a CPA and an attorney. Um, so so that makes uh makes sense. I I think though, maybe dive a little bit deeper. Um, you just can't go to any attorney. No. So you you how do you spot an attorney that you know sometimes people put this stuff on the website, but they also have like auto collision and yeah, and adoption and I see that a lot of people. They have like 20 things. You're like, there's no way you can be good at 20 totally different things. So how do you find the specialist?

SPEAKER_06 11:08

Um, so there are, you know, uh a handful of really good people in Atlanta and in other most major metropolitan areas, there are uh attorneys who do this and this is all they do, right?

SPEAKER_05 11:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:18

So that's a number one green flag is if this is all this attorney does, then you're probably at the right place.

SPEAKER_05 11:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:25

Um, so I would ask the important questions do you do this and something else, or do you just do this?

SPEAKER_05 11:31

Right.

SPEAKER_06 11:31

Why do you do this? Um a lot of attorneys who practice in this space um are personally motivated for one reason. Either they have their own special needs child or they have a a sibling or a a cousin or a niece or a nephew.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

I wouldn't say it's it's an area of um expertise that would drive a lot of revenue for them.

SPEAKER_06 11:50

Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

More of a syllabus service than well it does drive revenue for them and somebody Well, I'm saying I know it does, but they're not the ones making a million dollars a year doing this. This is my point.

SPEAKER_06 12:02

No, no, they're not. They're doing this out of love of doing this.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

Passion for doing it, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:07

And um, that's important too, because if you have somebody that's checking a box because you walked in their door, you're not gonna get what you need. And there are too many of those people, I will say. Um, the bad actors out there that understand what a needy space this is.

SPEAKER_05 12:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:21

Meaning there needs to be more people working in the space of uh neurodiversity and special needs. And so other people have seen that and they have, it's like a moth to a flame. Um, and so screen your team before you bring them on.

Guardianship, Trusts, And Tradeoffs

SPEAKER_03 12:35

Yeah, that makes sense. Uh all right. So let's talk about the same legal topic. So building blocks, uh, guardianship, powers, trust. Uh let's let's kind of dive into more of structure of this.

SPEAKER_06 12:51

Yeah. So there's no right or wrong with this. It's what is this certain family need? What is this ecosystem of resources need? Um, I think a lot of people want they want me or anybody that works in my capacity to hand them do this.

SPEAKER_04 13:07

Yeah.

SSI, SSDI, Waivers, And Red Tape

SPEAKER_06 13:07

Um and unfortunately, you you can't give somebody a list that says do these things because maybe somebody doesn't need guardianship or maybe they do. Um and you need somebody who can advise you legally on the very important aspects of those things. Um, and when you think about, you know, going back to where are we headed, where is this person going, for instance, there's a number of these Ipsy programs uh popping up. It's inclusive post-secondary education. They're amazing. It gives a lot of people the opportunity to attend university that otherwise wouldn't have had that opportunity. You cannot have somebody else be your guardian in these programs.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_06 13:46

And so if you've made the choice to become your child's guardian and then you try to send them to one of these programs, it will not work. So that's why you have to start planning so early on to understand what's the domino effect of every decision I make from now until I'm no longer here.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

Okay. Uh that's a good point. So let's go back uh again to you know getting help. Are are these attorneys also helping navigate SSDI?

SPEAKER_06 14:12

Some of them are.

SPEAKER_03 14:13

Uh they're the same expertise, or do you need a social security disability attorney to handle that?

SPEAKER_06 14:18

There are people that just do that and there are people who do both. And I think I know people that are great at doing either just that and both.

SPEAKER_05 14:25

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 14:26

Um, but it's important to me again that uh when we ask somebody the questions, why are you doing this? You know, what are your fees?

SPEAKER_05 14:33

Right.

SPEAKER_06 14:33

You can kind of uh feel out real quick if somebody's just there for a buck or if somebody's there because they want to do this the right way.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

Yeah. Most is is sociality disability, is that right for every family or is it it's not.

Opportunity Cost Of Waiting Lists

SPEAKER_06 14:44

Um and there's a lot of reasons that, you know, I will say, I am not an attorney, so I can't tell you legally what are the what's the right and wrong reason to do it, but there are times when it's appropriate and there are times when it's not appropriate. Um, a lot of families that come to us at parallel, um, they choose not to go that route for many different reasons. Either they have um, you know, uh, I would call significant uh self uh worth and they don't need these items.

SPEAKER_05 15:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 15:11

Um, and so they don't want to have to deal with the incredible amount of paperwork that goes along with all of this because it's a lot.

SPEAKER_05 15:18

Sure.

SPEAKER_06 15:18

Um, and the amount of like checking in and verifying, it's it's very task intensive.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Um that that goes back to uh Medicaid. How does Medicaid help this people with uh special needs?

SPEAKER_06 15:30

Yeah, so that's um right now that is that's a big question. Um and I encourage everybody to pay a lot of attention to how uh current legislation at the federal level is going to affect that um because it may help people make a decision. This is something that I want to do, something that I don't want to do. Um, you know, when we think about SSI or waivers, a lot of programs for adults are dependent upon these as resources. I think that'll probably change a little bit in the next year or two, depending on how the what is it, the one, the one, the the bill, the big bill. The big beautiful bill. The big beautiful bill. Depending on how that affects all of this, um, that may, that may have its own personal domino effect on how these resources are allocated to each state and how each state decides to allocate those resources. But right now, for instance, I was talking to a client last night who wanted to go to a program, but the program would only accept waiver money. And they don't have the waiver.

SPEAKER_05 16:28

Okay. Explain the waiver for us.

SPEAKER_06 16:30

Um the waiver is essentially uh an amount of money given to individuals to spend at their discretion for certain um therapies. And so this particular person is on what we call like the accepted list in Georgia, and every state does it differently.

SPEAKER_05 16:46

Yeah.

Sponsor Break: Legacy Guide Download

SPEAKER_06 16:46

Um, but they've been on there for a very long time. And that's the other part of this is you have to wait a really long time for some of these things. Um, you know, there's a lot of um, there's a lot of uh, I'll say, uh, fighting over why that list exists, um, why we have a list at all. But do you have the time and the mental energy and the resources to chase down these funds? And some of my clients just say no.

SPEAKER_03 17:10

Yeah, because they have they don't they have their own resources.

SPEAKER_06 17:13

They do. Um, and they don't want to spend five to 10, sometimes 15 years waiting to get these other resources because you miss out on opportunity. And so it's an opportunity cost at that point. Yeah. Do does my child have time to waste 15 years on this list if some of these resources are only uh they only drive with being on the list.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Yeah. Interesting. Well, all of which you can pay for on your own.

SPEAKER_06 17:36

Sometimes, sometimes no. It's it's it's strange. Right. I don't know, I don't know how to explain that, but some um some groups only take waivers.

SPEAKER_03 17:46

Interesting. Okay. So the the that sounds like that's a decision tree at some point at the very beginning of how you want to be able to fund help for your child.

SPEAKER_06 17:55

Yes. Um, it's a decision tree um with many, many, many decisions. Um, and it goes back to there's no, there's no checklist for any of this, right? Yeah. You have to decide at that moment um with the resources you have, with the team you have, is this worth my time? Is this worth my emotional capital? Because this is an incredibly emotional process from diagnosis to you know, whatever the destination is. And this takes a lot of your emotional capital. And some of my clients just say, I don't want to waste it there.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

Yeah, that makes sense.

ABLE Accounts, 529 Transfers, And Taxes

SPEAKER_02 18:26

Quick check-in. Have you thought about the legacy you'll leave behind? Download seven steps to leave a financial legacy, a free guide from wiser wealth management to learn more. It's not just about wealth, it's about leaving a lasting impact. Go to wiserinvestor.com forward slash guides to download your free guide today. Now let's jump back into the episode.

SPEAKER_03 18:52

So let's talk about some financial tools that can work with benefits. So one we we do here is an ABLE account. Uh, can you kind of walk us through the Able and why people would want to save money into an ABLE account?

SPEAKER_06 19:03

Um, yeah, so I'm not an expert on it, but I will say that um, you know, the tax advantage here is that when you put money into the account, which I think we started in 2017 or 18 here, it goes in without the tax burden. And so why wouldn't you want to do that?

SPEAKER_03 19:20

Yeah. Tax deductible to go in and then tax-free coming out. Then it can be used for uh special needs uh situations.

SPEAKER_06 19:28

So most people I work with, if not all the people I work with, do um exercise an Able account.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

Yeah. And then a lot of times you don't know that you need an Able account until well later. So a lot of good savers will start with a 529. You can convert a portion of your 529 annually from from um from that account into an Able account to be able to be spent. Yes. Uh so we have done that several times here uh as well. Uh let's talk a bit about we talked about uh life insurance a minute ago, you know, getting life insurance early to Know that you can get a super fund, maybe a trust for the special needs child. Yes. That that's an avenue.

Life Insurance And Funding Trusts

SPEAKER_06 20:05

Um, yeah. And that's one of the things that you know, over the last 10 years, I've really realized a wealth manager, the moment you get the diagnosis, a wealth manager who has experience working with families with special needs, it is imperative that you go the moment you get the diagnosis. And I don't think it means you have to have millions of dollars. I think you need somebody who's like an independent third party telling you, hey, let's think about these things from a financial standpoint.

SPEAKER_04 20:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 20:33

You may not, maybe it starts as a five, two, nine and it switches over to an able later, or maybe they end up going to an IPSI program and that five two nine will work.

SPEAKER_05 20:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 20:42

Um, and all of these things, like, you know, talk about emotional capital. You want someone who can just make these decisions for you and with you.

Why “Leave It To The Sibling” Fails

SPEAKER_03 20:50

Or, or have seen how things work and explain it and say this is the best way to do this. Yeah. Yeah. Shortcut, shortcut it for you. Um, I see this scenario a lot. It'll probably make you cringe. But I see scenarios where you have special needs children, uh, one child, and then you have a a sibling who's fully functional. And what the the estate strategy is we're just gonna give everything to Molly because we know Molly will take care of John. And it's like we can't leave anything to John his name. So they know that part.

SPEAKER_07 21:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 21:22

But there's no formal structure.

SPEAKER_07 21:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:23

I mean, Molly could be like, peace out, see ya. Oh, Molly would never do that.

SPEAKER_07 21:27

Oh, Molly will do that. Molly will do that. There's a good chance Molly's gonna do that.

SPEAKER_03 21:32

Yeah. Um, so this is where the the the planning comes in, and you you can set things up. I I'm honestly, I think it's pretty easy um to set up the right structure to make sure you're benefiting the special needs child. And they're not controlling the money necessarily. Uh, they're definitely getting getting access to it from a legal perspective so that they can qualify for the thing they need to qualify for.

SPEAKER_05 21:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Um, and there there are there are a million different ways you can write that trust, but there are some basic guidelines you have to stay within. But there's a million different ways that you can write that.

SPEAKER_05 22:01

So yeah.

Corporate Trustees And Care Managers

SPEAKER_03 22:02

I would say don't don't make that mistake. Um, there are organizations out there like um the Cumberland Trust.

SPEAKER_06 22:10

Oh, I love Cumberland Trust. We work with them a lot.

The Cost Of Care And Sustainability

SPEAKER_03 22:12

The Cumberland Trust will will settle your estate, handle your estate for you. I mean, you need a net worth of over two million uh for them to really play ball. Um there are there are some modest fees associated with them, but uh you can write them right into the trust and they have people that know how to handle this and will oversee assets. Yes. Um, so it it's uh you know, I I would assume um, I don't know this for sure, but like I have an elderly client now that needs a lot of help. She doesn't have any family. And I was volunteering my time to try to get her help and be doing for this for a year and a half and finally, oh my gosh, like this is never ending. But but uh we we hired a geriatric nurse. So we just hired a nurse. So her whole job is to make sure that this lady is doing okay. And she goes to all the doctor's appointments, she does everything to make sure that that this elderly person, I assume, in special needs world, as you you're an older adult, right? This this person that I'm this client I'm talking about has has some uh mental issues that she's dealing with. Uh I would assume that there's services just like that that you could be set up. Yeah. I mean I mean, I don't know why the geriatric nurse would discriminate, not work with, you know, an an adult special needs person. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 23:24

Right. It takes a little bit more of a specialized care provider, but those things exist. But again, you have to plan for it.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

Yeah, it's exactly. Exactly. They're$155 an hour.

SPEAKER_06 23:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

So you can you get you gotta make sure that you have funds available for that.

SPEAKER_06 23:41

Yeah, you know, I've walked into clients, um, client situations before where somebody had, you know, I would say it wasn't a modest amount of money saved, but then when you bring up$155 an hour times 24 hours a day times seven days a week, yeah, that snowball becomes enormous very quickly. And then all of a sudden you're talking about millions and millions of dollars.

SPEAKER_04 24:04

Right.

SPEAKER_06 24:04

And you realize I haven't planned for that.

SPEAKER_04 24:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 24:08

Um, and I'm 80. 80 years old, yes, too. And I also need a nurse.

Housing Options And Eligibility

SPEAKER_03 24:14

Yes. Well, you know, it yes. Uh I I explain it every time I I get to talk to a you know, 28-year-old who wants to start getting their their financial life in order and saving for retirement. It's like, this is great. This is awesome. There's so many things I can tell you. Uh when you're 59 and a half and you want to retire at 60, uh, there's only so many things I can do for you. Planning ahead is is important, not just in this case, but every case. So let's say we're keep we're kind of rolling with this, uh, with this 80-year-old here who has a 50-year-old uh special needs child. Uh, 80-year-old passes away. So what like what how what kind of housing, what community does a special needs person belong to at this point? Like what happens?

SPEAKER_06 24:58

So that is something I think people don't want to hear. Um, and this is the hard part, which is it really depends on a couple of factors. The two biggest factors are how much clinical support did they have early on. Um, and the other part is how much did the family plan for this moment in time.

SPEAKER_05 25:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:15

If this person has um any sort of um big behaviors, it's uh group living is almost not an option for them. Um there's a lot of rules about entering into a group living facility. Yeah. Even if you have the money, even if you come saying, I'm gonna build another building for you, right? If your child has never had the sort of intervention required early on that will result in independence and low to no behaviors in, you know, adulthood, it it there's no dice here. Yeah. Um, and so that's one part of it.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

Um, the other part of it is the So they end up where they Living in a house by themselves.

Planning For Inclusive Communities

SPEAKER_06 25:55

Well, if you don't have anywhere for them to go and they have no guardian, the state takes over. Oh. And the state in Georgia, um, unfortunately, uh, we don't have a lot of transparency in that process. And so the court, uh, a probate judge will take over and decide where to put that person. Um, and then they kind of go there and disappear. Uh not disappear off the earth, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of forgotten about at that point. Um, and sometimes that can be good, but there are some very big horror stories out there about that one moment in time. Um, and I think people don't want to hear about that because it's hard to hear. Um but if you have a three-year-old who has just been diagnosed with, you know, fill in the blank, I hope that's motivation for you if you're listening to Start Planning Now.

SPEAKER_04 26:46

Yeah.

Fairness, Inheritance, And Structure

SPEAKER_06 26:46

Um, because you don't want to be in that point. It's it's hard and it's sad and nobody likes it. The judge doesn't like it, you know, the people who are supporting don't like it. But sometimes there is just an individual who can't access housing. Now, let's say they can. Let's say this person has a bunch of money in in a special needs trust. Um, and there there are some opportunities out there for them, but you have to financially save for that. Yeah. Um, some of these places are$10 or$15,000 a month. And so, you know, you do that math again, but it's big numbers.

SPEAKER_03 27:19

Yeah, it's big numbers.

SPEAKER_06 27:20

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 27:20

Yeah, that's that's where if you can plan early, you gotta figure out how to turn a dollar into a hundred dollars. You're gonna have to have some leverage to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_06 27:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 27:30

You can't do this at the last minute.

SPEAKER_06 27:31

You you really can't. Um plan early, plan often.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

Um so you so yeah, so there's there's different housing models, right? You could live is it kind of like uh who's it? Uh Truitt Kathy or Dan Kathy had the um the places up at Barrie. Oh, it's it's magical for adopted um adopted children, and then there's another one or for orphans, another one is for special needs children.

SPEAKER_06 27:57

Uh-Amber Grace is, I believe, the name of it.

SPEAKER_03 27:59

Amber Grace, yeah. They just built that.

How The Advisory Process Works

SPEAKER_06 28:01

Yeah. So wonderful. The um Chick-fil-A um granted some money and then Barry gave like a hundred-year lease on the land, I think. Um it's a wonderful, again, you cannot have any behaviors and go there. Okay, so, but it's for the right kid, right? Like the right adult. I call them kids because they are somebody's child when I'm working with them. But the right kid, it's it's a great opportunity for for life. I I don't believe you have to leave there as long as it's a it works out for you.

SPEAKER_03 28:28

Yeah, correct.

SPEAKER_06 28:29

Um, and it's a wonderful you're living with a family, aren't you? There's a family, a host family for I saw the plans for it a long time ago. There's like a host family for like a village of little houses, and then there's a bunch of these little groups around a main living area, and then the very students interact, and then they can work at very university. It's it's a best case scenario. Yeah. But if you want that to be where your kid goes, three years old is when you have to start planning for it.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

Noted. Yeah. Um, yeah, don't stick your head in the sand. That's what I'm learning in this conversation.

SPEAKER_07 29:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 29:03

Um, so let's address the family system. Uh, you think about you know, you have a special needs child, you have a net worth of three million dollars, you pass away. Uh, most people leave their resources 50-50. Is that is that what we should be doing? Is that how we should be thinking about it?

Start Early Or Lose Options

SPEAKER_06 29:24

Um, you know, this is this is the struggle I think a lot of families enter into. Because if you have uh an adult child who is successful, an adult child who doesn't have the opportunity that um, I guess like social or work-wise to be able to do what child one does.

SPEAKER_04 29:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 29:44

And you split it 50-50.

SPEAKER_04 29:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 29:46

Um, you know, a lot of parents go, well, I want to leave it all to child two that has some needs, but then I'm gonna make child one feel really bad because I left them nothing. And if I give them$10,000 and the other one$2,990,000, you know, they there, and there's no right or wrong answer, right? Yeah. Um, and I see families struggle with this. I don't know what the right answer is. What I do know is if you don't go to a special needs trust attorney to make those critical decisions, um, and you just throw it all into a pot, which you wouldn't imagine how many times I've seen that happen.

SPEAKER_05 30:19

Oh, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_06 30:20

Um, it it is chaos. It is chaotic, it is chaos, and everybody loses on the other side, even if there's$30 million at play.

SPEAKER_04 30:28

Yeah.

Three Questions In Three Minutes

SPEAKER_06 30:29

Um, as a parent, as a caregiver, whatever your role is, if you've got the money that's going to be uh fueling this child's future, you better have like a really detailed plan that is ironclad so that when you leave this earth, people aren't fighting over it. Um, and no one's trying to be like, oh, I love, I love little Jimmy. He's my best friend. I would love to take care of him because he has$30 million, which I've seen happen.

SPEAKER_03 30:55

That uh yeah, absolutely. Well, that happens with older adults too, honestly. All right. So let's talk about a little bit about your company and how you help with all this. So kind of walk me through your planning process and what you do for people.

SPEAKER_06 31:10

Yeah. So um we have moved into an advisory role just because of um this the second role I have taken on as um COO. And so now what we do with clients um and actually actually with the wealth managers is we advise on cases. And so if a wealth manager gets a case uh or a new client coming in and they say, we don't know what to do, or we don't know how to think about this, or what should what should we be planning for?

SPEAKER_04 31:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 31:35

Because it's one thing to say, okay, we're gonna put a bunch of money in a bucket and we know we need to save, but what will that money go towards?

SPEAKER_04 31:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 31:42

What are we planning for? How much do we need to save? Those are the sort of things that we help families ideate and wealth managers ideate. Um, and so in that advisory capacity, we work on both ends, both with the families and um with wealth advisors. Um, you know, when you talk about clinical support, this has given me a whole new perspective on the importance of early intervention. And so if you want a life for your child that includes workforce opportunity, independent living opportunity, group living opportunity, you know, basically just a full, purposeful life, your work begins in early intervention. Um which is why I took this role at gradual. I realized too many people either were like, ah, I'm not gonna do that, or it's not that important. You know, when you have a kid that's not maybe significantly impacted by their uh disability, but just moderately impacted, well, if you don't fix those things, like I keep saying, they will come back to uh be party to the decisions that are made later on in life. And then you can't fix them.

SPEAKER_03 32:48

Um and so once you kind of help them lay out this past, how often does it need to be revisited? How often are you coming back to the plan?

SPEAKER_06 32:56

I mean, like if I had my way, it would be every six months. I'll be quite honest with you, just because of how quickly things change, how quickly Because you're starting when they're so young. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 33:04

Ideally.

SPEAKER_06 33:05

Yeah. Um, because you don't know when they're first diagnosed. Um, let's say you have a child who has an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis. You don't know when they're first diagnosed what life is gonna look like when they're five or seven or eleven.

SPEAKER_05 33:18

True.

SPEAKER_06 33:18

And so it's it's obtuse to say we're gonna make all these plans when they're three, and then at 18 we'll come back.

SPEAKER_05 33:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 33:23

Um, so I like every six months, I would say the average is probably every nine to twelve months uh for most of my clients.

SPEAKER_03 33:31

So flip that around. Let's say that someone comes to you, but they have a teenager or or an early 20-year-old. Um, is it too late at that point?

SPEAKER_06 33:40

Sometimes. I'll be honest with you, sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 33:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 33:43

Um, I used to not think that, but now I know that.

SPEAKER_03 33:46

And so if you have Just because you lost all those years of being able to save and pivot, or because maybe they've already made some decisions that that kind of derail what could be done in the future. Both. Okay.

How To Reach Megan And Closing

SPEAKER_06 33:56

Um if you and this has happened, if you have a let's say a 25-year-old and you come and you say, I would love Jimmy to be a doctor a doctor. And Jimmy is, you know, moderately impacted with this diagnosis, but is unmotivated to go to school and doesn't care. Yeah. And doesn't want to go.

SPEAKER_03 34:20

Right.

SPEAKER_06 34:21

Um, I can't, I can't fix that. Um, you know, motivation and and academic success and planning for something like that is starts very early on, uh whether you're whether you're neurodivergent or neurotypical, right?

SPEAKER_04 34:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 34:34

Um, and so I think, you know, generalize that as out as you will. When somebody comes at 25 saying, oh man, we really want some huge life pivot.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

Um, that's a hard one to do, especially because they're already kind of set in their ways.

SPEAKER_06 34:49

Yeah. Or when they're 25 and you want them to go to one of these inclusive um second post-secondary programs.

SPEAKER_05 34:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 34:56

And they've never spent the night alone, they've never given themselves medication, they don't know their address or how to navigate their hometown. These are things that at 25, can you teach?

SPEAKER_04 35:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 35:09

Yeah. Um, is it gonna be fast? No, it's not gonna be fast.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

Interesting. Okay. So what I'm taking away taking away from this is is start early. That's that's the important part.

SPEAKER_06 35:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 35:22

Okay. Anything else you want to add to our conversation today?

SPEAKER_06 35:26

You know, I think people get really afraid. I think fear is the primary barrier to people making these plans or or thinking about making these plans. Yeah. Um, and I think too often somebody will say something they hold on to. Oh, well, it this person didn't plan, so I don't have to. They've heard a story on the internet or a 60-minute special about a kid who persisted despite. And I want to say that those are wonderful, beautiful stories of one person. Um, this is like I said, 25 years doing only this, I can tell you that is not an average by a long shot. And so if everybody would, my one thing would just be to say, please plan early, intervene early, plan early, find the right team early on.

SPEAKER_03 36:13

How do how do people get get in contact with you?

SPEAKER_06 36:16

Uh, well, there's a couple ways. I mean, I guess one of the best ways is LinkedIn, you know, if for wealth managers is LinkedIn. Um, I would say for families, um, depending on what your needs are, you can get in touch with me through parallel or through gradual if you have like an early intervention kiddo. Um, both of those are Megan at parallelintl.com or Megan at gradual bh.com.

unknown 36:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 36:38

Um and I'm pretty responsive to email.

SPEAKER_03 36:40

Great. Thank you for doing this. Yeah. We have a bonus feature. So we start doing this thing internally. You're the first one externally. So we have um three questions, three minutes, and we uh simply um well, let's see. Everyone's I think most most people have done it here. Maybe not me. I haven't done it because I'd be interviewed to be doing it. But anyway, uh okay, so we have three questions, three minutes. Let's get started. Uh, what is a money mistake you're weirdly glad that you made?

SPEAKER_06 37:11

This is like a singular incident. I thought about this, okay? Um, so I I grew up poor. And so when I went to college, like I paid for college, like I had Pell Grants and worked three jobs my entire collegiate career. And there are times when I had like$2 in my FSU account. And I remember being like, I don't know that I'm gonna make it to my next payday with this$2.44 in my account.

SPEAKER_05 37:39

Right.

SPEAKER_06 37:40

So I went to the ATM. It was, there was no fees on FSU campus. You could take a dollar out if you wanted to. So I get a buck and I buy a lottery ticket and I'm like, big money. Casey, I won a hundred dollars.

SPEAKER_03 37:55

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_06 37:56

And I I hate gambling. I am not a lottery player, I am not a gambler. It's the one time in my life that I did it and I was like, I can eat until Friday.

SPEAKER_03 38:07

Oh my gosh. Maybe divine intervention there.

SPEAKER_07 38:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:11

That's awesome. Good story. Um, if you could only travel to one place, you've been you've done a lot of traveling. Um if you can only travel to one place, where would you go and who are you taking?

SPEAKER_06 38:21

Okay. If I could go to one place right now, I want to go a lot of places. So I'm gonna say this is not the place that's necessarily at the top of the list. It's just I'm singularly focused on it right now. I really want to go to Lima, Peru.

SPEAKER_05 38:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 38:33

Um, and I want to go to this restaurant called Central. And I've been trying to get down there for a few years. Um, I just can't seem to make it happen. And who would I take? Anyone who wants to go to Michelin star restaurants because that's what it is.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

Okay. Oh, in Lynn Peru.

SPEAKER_06 38:48

They serve not based on course, they serve based on terrain because Peru has sea level and they have like high mountain terrain. Yeah. And so the first course is sea level, and the last course is these potatoes that they grow at like 14,000 feet.

SPEAKER_03 39:01

Okay. Yeah. How'd you find about this place?

SPEAKER_06 39:02

Uh it was on Chef's table.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

Is that was that an open open table? Uh yeah, it's an open table.

SPEAKER_06 39:07

Yeah. Um, I f on Chef's table. Uh, I really loved that show and they did that one and it was just so good.

SPEAKER_03 39:14

That's cool. All right. Uh let's see. What's something you believed strongly 10 years ago that you don't believe anymore?

SPEAKER_06 39:21

I used to kind of believe that everything had an answer. Like there was uh an answer, one answer for probably anything.

SPEAKER_05 39:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 39:30

Um, and the older I've gotten and the more that I've stepped back and pulled the scope back on everything from like politics to like what did that pace person make the right decision. I have grown to see that there is, um, there's not, there's really not. There's just the best decision for that person. Um, and it's really helped me kind of, especially in such like a crazy um polarized world, it's helped me understand people a lot better.

SPEAKER_05 39:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 39:56

Um, and probably where a lot of people would cut off relationships, I've Been able to understand people a lot better.

SPEAKER_03 40:02

Interesting. We have a lot of uh 25 years old. 25 year olds around here that answer. I'm waiting for someone to say Santa Claus. But you're probably not believing in Santa Claus when you're 14 years old. So I guess I'm never gonna get that answer.

SPEAKER_06 40:17

You don't believe, you don't receive. That's the rule in our house.

SPEAKER_03 40:20

That's right.

SPEAKER_06 40:20

Santa's coming.

SPEAKER_03 40:23

Uh thank you, Megan, for doing this. Yeah. Uh thanks for listening to today's episode. If you're interested in learning more about Wiser Wealth Management or want to schedule a consultation to meet with one of our fiduciary financial advisors, you can do so by going to wiserinvestor.com or you can click click in the uh episode notes. We'll see you guys again next week.

Disclosures And Important Notices

SPEAKER_00 40:42

Thanks for listening to a Wiser Retirement Podcast. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. Make sure to subscribe wherever you're listening. That way you don't miss any new episodes. We'd also appreciate if you could leave a rating and review. If you have any questions about anything that was discussed today, head to WiserInvestor.com and reach out. This podcast is strictly for informational purposes only and is not to be considered as investment advice or solicitation to buy or sell any financial products, securities, digital assets, or any other investment vehicles, or a basis to make any financial decisions. Wiser Wealth Management Incorporated is a registered investor advisor with the SEC. The host and or guest may personally own securities, digital assets, or other investment vehicles mentioned on this podcast. Neither the host nor guests of the show are compensated for their participation, and no referral fees are paid to or received by any host or guest for clients, listeners, or similar interests. Investments involve risk, and unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed. Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial advisor, tax professional, insurance professional, andor legal professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein. Past performance is not indicative of future performance.