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A grammar book walks into a bar. A play about words.

Tudor Rickards

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Submitted to Twitter by @RCdeWinter, 
 attributed to Jill Thomas Doyle

I’m afraid you may need to play some of the examples more than once to enjoy the delightful humour and grammatical subtleties.

A grammar book walks into a bar

 * A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly. 

 * A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

  * An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

* A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intents and purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

* Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

 * A non sequitur walks into a bar. 
In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

* Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

 * A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud. 

* Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart. 

 * A synonym strolls into a tavern. 

 * At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack. 

 * A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment. 

 * Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor. 

 * A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

 * An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel. 

* The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known. 

* A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph. 

* The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

 * A dyslexic walks into a bra.

 * A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines. 

 * A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert. 

* A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget. 

[An explanation of some of the terms is offered at the end of the podcast].

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