Is Self-Awareness the Key to a Good Life? - with Alexandra Lefort

Holding on through stress can feel like strength, but what if it is just survival mode with a nice label? We sit down with Alexandra Lefort, career and life coach and founder of Moving Forward Coaching, to get clear on what resilience actually is, and why bouncing back is less about pushing harder and more about restoring stability in your nervous system.

We dig into the practical core of her work: nervous system regulation, emotional intelligence, and reconnection to self. Alexandra explains why emotions are not “good” or “bad” but simply information; and how learning to observe them turns reaction into action. We also talk about the hidden cost of chronic stress, and how self-awareness strengthens confidence, decision making, and intuition over time.

From simple routines like scheduling, single-task focus, breathwork, movement, and prioritising sleep, to bigger life questions about love, purpose, gratitude, and the idea that “this too shall pass”, the takeaway is clear: small, consistent steps reshape your inner world and change your life. 

If you want resilience, mental health tools, and a more meaningful life, press play and enjoy this conversation.

To learn more about Alexandra's work you can visit her website Moving Forward Coaching, or connect with her on LinkedIn and Instagram.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us Alexandra!

Transcript

Speaker 0:08

Hi there, welcome to the ZestPal Show. I'm your host Gabriella, and together with my guests we explore how to navigate life, what really matters, and how we can all build a life that we actually enjoy. Come and join us. In this episode, my guest is Alexandra Lefort, career and life coach and founder of Moving Forward Coaching. Here we talk about resilience, the difference between resilience and hoarding on, self-awareness as the key to a good life, and of course, the deeper questions in life. Enjoy. It's a pleasure to have you on the show, Alexandra. Thank you very much for joining us. First of all, tell me a little bit more about yourself, what it is that you do, and what's your story?

Speaker 2 0:51

Thank you, Gabriella. First of all, for reaching out, and I'm very, very happy to be with you on the ZestPal and I love the concept. So it's uh I'm very grateful to be here. So what I do, I'm a coach. I'm the founder of uh Moving Forward Coaching. So basically, my work is on three pillars: the nervous system, emotional intelligence, and reconnection to self. For me, it's a lot about how you can create an environment that will build your resilience to be able actually to create the path you were expected to live and the life that you actually want to live. So I work a lot with entrepreneurs, solo and multi, small companies, and a lot also with people who have chronic diseases like cancer. So, yeah, that's about it.

Speaker 1:51

Creating the life that one wants to live. That sounds fantastic. What are the steps that can take us there? Where do we even begin? How does that start?

Speaker 2 2:01

So wow, I really do believe that it starts with how you're gonna handle your emotions, how you observe them, how you're able actually to use them instead of being in a position where you're suffering from them. And instead of being in action, you're in reaction. So the question is quite vast, and there's multiple paths to be able to build resilience. I really do believe also that it starts with resilience. Resilience is really not something you're born with, is really something you build. So it's a skill. So that's the very interesting thing about resilience, is that really it's a skill. And I'm a firm believer that when you have resilience, you get much more creative, you allowed yourself to take risks. It's easier to move forward because you know that whatever happens, you're gonna have the confidence and the capacity to actually bounce back. And when you have that, your whole world changes because you're gonna be an explorer, you're gonna start trying new things, you're gonna start taking risks. And for me, that's how you build a life that is aligned with yourself. So a good life.

Resilience Starts With Emotions

Speaker 3:17

There is a lot of conversation these days about resilience. And uh, we had a conversation earlier about the difference between resilience and holding on. Can we unpack this a little bit more, please?

Speaker 2 3:31

Yes, so I've come to realize that for most of us, we have a tendency to think that holding on is actually resilience. So I hear a lot of time, no, but uh I'm very uh strong. I can always uh move forward. Um, but the thing is, it's they're in this phase which is um completely human, and it's actually a survival mode that is fundamental for us as human, which is the flight, freeze, and uh fight mode. This is what happens when they just come directly to us. We're gonna have an instinct that puts us in a position where we're gonna have stress, where we're gonna have cortisol, where our body is gonna put itself in a position to be able to handle the danger immediately. So it's super important, but it's supposed to be on a small time period because our body is not conceived to always be under that stress, that level of stress. And a society has brought us up to live in an environment where we're constantly under that stress. So we're constantly holding on. And for a lot of people, I realize that is considered as resilience because they continue even though they they remain in this stress mode. Um, resilience is basically what happens afterwards. Resilience is once you've understood, you've got, you, you handled the the immediate danger, is to be able to put your body back in a position of stability, to put your nervous system back in a position of stability. This gives you the power to not only take a little bit of distance from the situation and uh to be able to actually understand what happens, but it also what is gonna give you the opportunity to take it as a lesson, to um use it in the future, uh, to build from it, and to be able to create new tools that will help you along the path.

Speaker 5:37

Yeah. I think many people understand this difference and they understand that uh they need to develop resilience, but what are the is there a concrete step one can take as a step one? How to even start?

Holding On Versus Resilience

Speaker 2 5:54

Uh so for me, and that's the it's the core of uh of moving forward coaching, but um for me it starts with a good understanding of oneself. Uh that should be a priority. It's interesting because we have this tendency when it comes to us to say I can do it later. It's fine. I'm gonna take care of it at one point. And actually, it really starts with the understanding of oneself. Because that's how you're gonna be able to understand your triggers, observe your triggers, understand your emotions, your path, uh, your nervous system is basically built on your past. So when some situation arises, you're gonna have a reaction that is automated and that you've been repeated over and over and over again. If you don't stop to understand that you're actually in a system that you've created for yourself, you're gonna repeat endlessly the same thing. So that's why uh moving forward is really about the nervous system, about uh emotional intelligence, and about the reconnection to oneself. Because for me, in my with my knowledge, it's the only way to be able to lead the the life, as you say. What is your your slogan? Is uh life is precious to make the most of it. Wow. And for me, that's the only way you can you can actually uh understand that your life really is precious and that you can do the most of it.

Speaker 7:25

I think in in our younger years, we're so busy being busy and doing the things that we think we're supposed to be doing. I'm amazed how many people don't have that self-awareness that you were talking about, not not just who they are, but uh what they want from life. It's like we are so educated, and yet when it comes to life, we are just so lost. Why is this?

Speaker 2 7:51

Uh well I think you you just you just said it. We are so educated, but we are educated in a way um where you learn how to read, you learn how to count, you learn how to interact socially. Uh, but we're never taught. Uh, I mean, in schools, when it's starting a little bit, but we're not taught about our emotions, we're not told about self-awareness. Again, this is something that we learn not to be invaded by our emotions is something that we learn, and we learn by observing it, by putting, by naming it, by taking the time, actually. And in a society where we go faster and faster and where we kind of shifted the priorities, we became secondary. And that's what I'm trying to put back in the center when we call when we say when we speak of a human-centered company, that's exactly it. Is that if you want to be centered, you have to have that self-awareness. But when you've been brought up, where every single time uh we tell you that uh you have to continue to move forward, uh, it doesn't really matter. Stop listening to yourself. And all those things that are repeated, repeated, repeated, at one point you completely disconnect yourself with uh with you, and you stop listening to your instincts. You don't even know how to use your intuition, everything that it basically um drives you to the choices and the decisions that you're gonna make in life. And that's also why I think self-awareness is in the center of everything. It builds your self-esteem, uh, your confidence. It it's it's the first step to actually, if you understand what you want, you're able to go and get it. If you don't know, what do you do? You follow basically what you're told.

Speaker 9:52

I agree 100%. I think the whole school system should uh be changed now to make it fit for the 21st century because uh we need to have emotional uh intelligence skills, we need to have communication skills, self-awareness, resilience. All of this is so essential, and uh kids are not learning it.

Speaker 2 10:15

I don't know how long it's gonna take to be put into place, but I think there's an understanding that it has to change. Um, there's a real understanding, and we can see countries who are actually implementing today different things. So I think it's starting to be a focus point. But for me, is how long is it gonna take? Because with all the pace that we see today, the changes with AI and the world basically we're continuing to build today. This for me is gonna be one of the survivals of uh of who we are. Uh, if we don't have that, I think it's gonna be very complicated for the young generation to actually have jobs, build their life for themselves. Not being on the negative, but yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 11:03

Yeah, of course. Do you think this is a new thing that uh we are so uh we don't have these skills? I wonder if this used to be like this maybe 100 years ago. Just uh your personality.

Self-Awareness As Step One

Speaker 2 11:17

So um I think there's multiple responses to that. Um the knowledge that we have today in neuroscience uh on how we function in a way is quite new. But if you look historically, if you look a hundred years ago, they were also living at a pace where basically um they had used a lot more their instincts and their intuition because it was also how they survived. We're the first where it's kind of new to be in a space where you do not have to literally fight for your life every day. You're not gonna die of the famine, well, depending on which part of the world, but I mean in general, in our societies, we have space to actually use our brains to think of what's good for us, what we want, what is fulfilling, what is our purpose. Before that, the brain was more in an action mode. I wake up, I go farming, I have lunch, I have to do everything so that in winter we have food reserves. So I don't know if it's uh to come back to your question, I think it depends where you stand. Because I also do believe that with the first generation where we don't see things in the same way, our parents were not educated with emotions. So the way they educated us was based on what they knew. And they came from an environment where they were even less connected with emotions. We did believe for a very long time that babies didn't feel anything. We even have stories where you have small kids who were operated uh like pulling out a tooth or they would stitch them back without any anesthesia because it was considered that since they couldn't talk, it was considered that they didn't feel. So today we're when we hear that it's horrifying. So uh that's why I say we have the lot the um the knowledge that we didn't have before, and that's what we're trying to use today to change things. But I think before there it was you can see things where they were much more into the instinct, in the intuition, and so they were more just than we are. So that's why I'm saying it's a bit so because there's a bit of um live in a very fast-moving world, and I'm not sure that we're built to build in such to live in such a moving, uh, fast-moving world. It's my perception, uh, it's not uh again, it's always about uh about one person's view. It's not uh I can't uh I'm not sure. I don't know if it's for everybody the same thing.

Speaker 14:09

But it's it's fascinating how the world is evolving and uh humans are evolving with it. And uh, like you said uh a few decades ago, how they were operating in babies because of the of a lack of knowledge that they feel pain. And uh now we know all of these things, and I wonder in 50 years' time, where will science take us? And uh I I think there is great hope for humanity, and you know, some people say it's all doom and gloom, but uh I try not to believe that. Yeah, me neither. Yeah, so in your work uh as a coach, you come across people. What is the the most common issue that you see? The skill that uh is most commonly missing that one would need for a good life?

Speaker 2 14:59

The skill that is uh missing for a good life? If there is such a thing. Yeah, I'm not sure there's a skill uh that is lacking that I see uh on a regular basis for a good life, to be honest. Because I think you were you were putting forward before the fact of um of happiness and uh how can we have a happy life? Um and I really do believe that actually it's something that's is a balance of various things. So I don't think there's a skill. Again, it's about um it's about self-awareness. So it's about taking the time to pre be uh to appreciate and be grateful for the small everyday moments instead of always being looking forward, of pursuing of giving yourself the capacity to pursue what you genuinely desire, not just what you're expected to do, and also to create a sense of purpose for yourself, something that gives you um that gives meaning to your action. For me, that's the balance, and I'm not sure if the skills, but as you can see, they're all linked to self-awareness. Yeah, yeah, we keep coming back to that. So that that seems to be the case. So then if we can say that it's a skill, it would be self-awareness.

Speaker 16:32

Okay.

Speaker 2 16:33

Because if it's if this just um I have a lot of people, well, for instance, when you work with uh entrepreneurs, there's a lot of loneliness, feeling alone in a position where they don't um they're the ones making decisions, they're the ones taking the risks, uh, they're the ones who are actually they're alone when there's uh when there's something that goes south. So there's this loneliness that comes on a regular basis, and that is very that is quite common uh and that links uh the entrepreneurs or the leaders, but there's no skill against loneliness. Yes. There's a lot of things and protocols and and um and things that you can put that you can change, that you can put in place. As the same for confidence, there's a lot who arrive with the problem of the uh imposter syndrome. Uh but it's the that doesn't mean it doesn't rely on a skill, it relies on a lot of various different things that starts with self-awareness. Self-awareness is the key? I believe self-awareness is the key.

Speaker 17:46

Great. Okay, so I have these seven questions that I'm asking from every crest of mine. Ready to proceed with those? Yes. What are the things that truly matter in life, in your opinion?

Speaker 2 18:07

Um, so in my opinion, uh self-awareness, I think the second pillar is uh is love. So I know it sounds a bit simple and corny, but I really do believe that uh love is one of the strongest drivers that we have. I mean, it shapes how we treat ourselves, uh, how we connect to others, um, how we engage with what we're doing every day. Love gives a sense of real purpose. So um if you want a more meaningful and and and fulfilling life, I think it has to start by that. Because afterwards everything will fall into place.

Speaker 18:50

Can it be love for oneself, or does it have to involve someone else?

Why We Lose Inner Skills

Speaker 2 18:55

No, no, no. That's that's what I'm saying. It's love in the largest scheme, it's not love of a couple, it's uh well, even though love of a couple is included, but it's love in general. So it starts with love for oneself, but then it's also how you how you use it. For me, it's a starting point. If you make your decision and your choices based from a place of love, you put yourself in a position that gives meaning, that gives purpose, and that's what as humans we're all connected actually to that emotion. I really do believe that that's what makes us thrive. I mean, it's not without reason that there are so many songs, so many movies, uh, so many uh everywhere. We're always obsessed with love. Why? Because that's what we're I believe that's what we've been created to do. So everything should come from a place of love. I agree.

Speaker 20:07

What are the most important lessons you have learned in life?

Speaker 2 20:11

Well, I use a sentence, so I'm not sure if it's the most important lesson, but I always say this too shall pass. I find it very helpful uh to be conscious that everything is temporary, both good and bad. Uh but reminding myself of this little sentence helps me stay grounded during bad times, but also remain present during the good ones. So this too shall pass. And everything can change. It doesn't matter if things go wrong because you can reorganize. It will pass. You will definitely learn something about it, and maybe if you're in a very uncomfortable place right now, even when it's it's hard, this too shall pass. Cry, use your emotions, and that's also why I believe you don't have bad or good emotions. There are just emotions. What is bad is when we have a tendency, again, without since we have a self-awareness uh issue, I would say, is that we have a tendency when a bad emotion arrives not to listen to it and to try to push it on the side. Yeah. But I believe that you have to live them. And an emotion is simply an information, so then it's the how are you gonna use the feeling? But I mean, if you lose someone that you love, it's important, I believe, to go through the emotion, to cry, to yell, uh to do whatever you need to do, but to remain connected with the emotions that you're living. Because that is also what is gonna do the That it shall pass.

Speaker 22:02

Yeah.

Speaker 2 22:03

If you don't pay attention to it, it remains within you. It remains with you. And it takes longer and it's harder to actually uh and you're not, I'm not even sure that you live completely what's going on. So yeah.

Speaker 22:21

I'm very glad you said this because I think many of us have the tendency to brush our feelings aside or under the carpet. And I don't have time to deal with this now. And you know, uh, especially uncomfortable uh emotions. And uh I don't think the time ever comes to deal with something difficult, you know, there's never a good time. But uh I think people need to hear this more, that uh they're supposed to feel the emotions, and those emotions are a signal about what's whatever is happening in their life, and even the negative emotions uh see it's a signal for something that either, you know, like anger, that uh something needs to change or yeah, but that that's exactly um that's what that's the big difference between feeling and emotion.

Speaker 2 23:15

Emotion is we don't think about an emotion, it's our body acting on something. So it's really and it it's it stays, I mean, it goes through your body in a few seconds, even a couple of seconds or miniseconds. So it's really the feeling that pops out, that that connects to your brain, uh, that is giving you the information. The emotions has has actually two purposes. One is to protect you, and the second is to make you act. So when you're sad, not observing, not taking, not sitting with your sadness, and I'm I'm I'm not saying that you have to dwell on it for like three months, on the contrary, but when you feel sadness, it's important, I believe, to actually sit with it, cry, be nice to yourself, accept that you're allowed to be sad and that it's okay. And what is the meaning of this sadness? How do you get out of it? Because the information is saying basically that you're somewhere you don't want to be.

Speaker 24:24

Yeah.

Speaker 2 24:25

So how are you how then that's the action part of the emotion? The feeling is what happens afterwards, and that we build also a lot with our brain.

Speaker 24:35

It all sounds perfectly logical, but it's not so easy to do, is it?

Love And Lessons For Life

Speaker 2 24:39

No, it's no, it's it's I'm not saying it's easy. And I really don't believe if it was easy, I think we would all have the book and we will all like follow the recipe and and and be happy. I mean, but I think that's the lovely side of it, also, is that as humans, we're very complex, but we're very complex in an amazing and fantastic way. The only thing is that we've been trained, uh our brain is actually amazing because it can reconnect during all your life. That's also something that is quite new because before we were kind of we were kind of sure that around 40, 45, your neuroconnections were you were you weren't able to do more, and the older you would get, the flatter you would get. Today we know that it's completely wrong. That you go all your life, you can can continue making connection and retraining your brain and reorganizing and creating new path. And uh so once we have this knowledge, there's something quite amazing that's going on because there's a way where you realize that we've been trained to think about the exterior world, never about what's happening inside of us. By doing that, we're taking away our well-being. And the well-being is basically the center of anything that we create. So the way we were trained, we can also we can train the other way back. Instead of always seeing the darkest side of what can happen if you make that step, if you take that decision, if you put yourself in this situation and see all the problems that can arise, you can train your brain to go the opposite way. And it's really a training because it goes back to uh so it's French, it's savor reptilian, I'm not sure how you say, but it's basically your primary brain that is the brain that protects you, that goes all the way back to our ancestors that were living in caves, that is gonna always try to put you back in a comfort zone because he's very scared of change. He's very scared of everything that can be different. So even if your comfort zone is not so good for you, you know it. And because you know it, your brain is constantly going to try to put you back there. And that's when when you want to do something, when immediately your head goes, No, but that's not for me. That's super dangerous, or it's gonna take too much risk, or it's not realistic, or that that is actually your primary brain speaking to you to say, abort, abort, abort. Yeah. But once you know that, you know that it's a story that your brain is telling you, it has nothing to do with reality. So I'm not saying it's easy, but today there is a way to train your brain to actually go back to well-being, build resilience, and say, Yeah, okay, I hear you. Maybe it's dangerous dangerous, but I'm gonna try.

Speaker 27:50

What advice would you give to the younger generations?

Speaker 2 27:55

Well, uh I say uh self-awareness. No, but be curious, take and again in the times in which we live, it's be curious, take every opportunity to explore, but not only the world around you, and specifically the young generation today with the screens, and uh and I'm not gonna go into that direction because I think everybody is going into that direction, but the reality of it is still that they're always living in a world, in the world that surrounds them or an external world, very little uh with themselves. So when I say explore, is also take the time to explore yourself, to to explore your emotions, your triggers, your personality. For me, the earlier you start, the easier it's gonna be to make decisions that actually fits you. And it will save a lot of time and energy in creating your life. Because then that becomes your uh default mode. Yeah, because everything is an exercise. The same way you can train, you train towards well-being, you train yourself also. I mean, if your decision making is based on your capacity to actually understand what is good for you, you facilitate decision making. And you were asking me earlier on what skills should we use? Um so it's still we're still with self-awareness, but one of the most uh interesting things that I see is uh a lot of my clients have a real problem with decision making. And that comes, one of the reasons is also because we're disconnected to our intuition and our instincts. So understanding oneself will put you in a position when you don't always have to fight with yourself.

Speaker 29:42

Yeah.

Speaker 2 29:44

You find a little bit more peace. And the earlier you have that in life, the greater it is because you're not wasting any time, even though I don't believe in wasting time.

Speaker 30:01

What habit or daily routine has been the most helpful to you?

Speaker 2 30:06

So I'm not sure it's uh routine, but for me is um as an entrepreneur, it's really uh sticking to a schedule. So it's also it's almost a full-time job in itself. But I mean, um I get distracted, you know, email comes, phone rings, uh suddenly you remember something that was urgent that you were supposed to do. So for me, it's really about a schedule, uh about creating a structure, a daily structure, waking up at the same time, taking a moment for myself every day, whether it's yoga or going for a walk or meditation, but always having a moment uh for myself. And I plan my days with uh by blocks, usually of two hours for specific tasks, because for me it's very important to focus only on one thing at a time. Yeah, it would be uh it would be the schedule.

Speaker 31:02

I think more people should take your advice and focus on one thing at a time. I don't think it's possible to multitask. I think you're just splitting your attention and uh you do a number of things uh not as well as you could.

Speaker 2 31:16

I agree with you completely. I agree with you completely. And um, and uh we we we see it actually. When I for me, when I try to do several things at a time, I actually forget what I did if I send the email. So it's it's quite interesting that we see a lot of tools that we use to disconnect your way of thinking when you know you have this hamster wheel that goes over and over and over, is to pay attention to something else. It's to bring the brain to something else. Because we know that by doing that, the brain is automatically going to disconnect from the hamster wheel because we cannot do two things at the same time. Yeah, which works with meditation, also with the breathing. When we were what we were saying before, intuitively, or I mean, that's another culture, but I mean meditation has been here uh for centuries, and what is the beginning of meditation is your breath. Why do you focus so much on your breath? Because when you focus on your breath, you can't focus on something else completely. Because your your brain is actually focusing on your on your body. So you're gonna have thoughts that come through, but they're only gonna come through because you can't hold on to it. Yeah, makes perfect sense.

Speaker 32:38

What is the best way to overcome difficulties or hardship?

Speaker 2 32:42

So I don't know if there's a best way, or there's one way, because I um I think that's a very personal one, uh, to be honest. I think um you must have as much answers as you have people. Uh because what's gonna be good for me isn't necessarily gonna be good for you. But um I know that I have quite an anxious personality. So for me, it starts uh with working on my nervous system. I focus on my nervous system before doing anything. I always take a moment to actually secure myself, observe what's going on, perspective, and try not to go straight into the fight mode. Yeah, because otherwise, with uh I think it's easy to freeze. So uh for me, it's always taking time to work on my nervous system. And of course, I remind myself that this too shall pass.

Speaker 33:36

Okay, so how can people work on their nervous system? Because I'm sure you're not the only person who needs to do this.

Speaker 2 33:44

Well, that's that's a whole podcast in itself. The nervous system is basically what is going to what is holding on to your three brains. So all the information is is in your nervous system, the way you're gonna act, uh, the way you're gonna react. Mostly anything you do is based on your nervous system. So it goes with uh emotional intelligence. Uh, if you want to work on your your nervous system, it's again, it's uh self-awareness. And so it's emotional intelligence, uh understanding your traumas, or actually pinpointing your traumas to understand why you're reacting in that way, or why you're always uh going through the same path, and then it's the reconnection to the body. So the nervous system you have parasympathetic and sympathetic. So you have the movement, the your nervous system who needs to be in movement, and you have the nervous system where you actually relax your body. And the concept is actually to always be balancing in between and using what you need for yourself. So balancing your uh playing with your nervous system is of course it's movement, even if it's going out for a walk. It's breathing, it's uh what you're gonna eat, it's how you're gonna sleep. All these are fairly common, and when you hear them, you it's oh yeah, okay, already heard that, been there. But actually been there for a minute, not on a long and consistent, because again, we are not our priority. But having seven to eight hours of sleep per night, of good sleep per night, is gonna change your vision of life completely, especially if you're in a place that of stress, of anxiety, of doubt. I'm not gonna say it's gonna solve everything, but if you don't have that, it's gonna be much more complicated to actually be able to move forward. And then again, it's taking the time to be with yourself, to say, okay, so what was the trigger? What's the trigger? Why does it always happen in this way?

Speaker 35:58

Deconstruct it and start creating a new a new system when you explain it, it actually sounds very simple. So doable.

Regulate Your Nervous System Daily

Speaker 2 36:09

It is more than doable. I mean, it's a path that is um I always say you're very brave to go through it to my clients, because I think a lot of people prefer to remain in their comfort zone. Well, maybe, but I always say, okay, but what's harder? To stay in that environment without moving, or actually to try to find solutions. And it's work, it's a lot of work in a way, but I don't see another way around. And I know that it works. So for me, I know that till the end of my days, I'm gonna always be working on myself. But it has something quite great about it. Yeah, because we're not stuck anywhere. Uh it's for me is the proof that tomorrow is gonna be better than yesterday, because tomorrow I would have learned something new. So if you come from a place where you want to actually manage your nervous system uh with a training of two days, there's a fair chance that you're gonna be very frustrated. Because it's the creation actually of a way of life. And in this way of life, you start to change habits slowly. Because by doing this, you're also starting to take care of yourself. So by taking care of yourself, you're not insulting yourself, you're not being hard on yourself, you're not putting another uh thing that you're supposed to be doing and that you're not doing. I had a client who was very frustrated because he couldn't manage to meditate every day. I was like, that's the opposite of what meditation is. So if it's frustrating, if it builds up something, so you need to stop immediately. Meditate when you feel. And I'm not saying that you're not supposed to have discipline, but usually when we go through change, when we want to go through change, we want it to go fast. So we have objectives that most of the time are not very realistic. And because they're not realistic, soon enough we go, okay, that's not working. I can't handle it anymore, I'll drop the ball. The concept here is to do something that's on long term. So it's always baby steps, and it's also what's good for you, what's realistic with you, with your schedule, with your family, with your environment, with what's realistic for you. Always you're in the center. What is gonna do good by you?

Speaker 38:35

And it reminds me of the saying we uh overestimate what we can achieve short term and underestimate what we can achieve long term.

Speaker 2 38:45

Well, you've summarized exactly what I'm putting forward. If you do one small thing but every day, you realize quite quite fast that your starting point from where you're at is actually quite huge. Just by changing that small thing every day. I love that.

Speaker 39:11

What should we focus on if we want a happy life or a good life?

Speaker 2 39:15

Well, that's what I was saying before. I think it's it's basically uh taking the time. Um again, we're in this in the this environment where everything is going so fast. Uh and that's why I say I'm not sure that even the information that we go, that we get goes so fast that we don't even remember it. Uh, because again, humans can't get so much information in one go. So for me, it's really appreciate and be grateful for the small things that happens every day and take the time actually to see them. Because most of the time we actually brush them off. It's like there's no uh small victories. When there is a victory, how no matter how small, take the time to celebrate it. For me, that's one of the stepping stones. If we always take the time to actually tell ourselves that we did it the wrong way, the bad way, that we did a mistake, that it was also wrong, and that we're basically we're dumb or we're not. I'm not gonna use uh other words, but I mean we're always very good when we have to put ourselves like lower than ground. I would say it really starts with the capacity of actually taking moments where you actually congratulate yourself, where you're actually nice and happy with yourself. And that usually goes with small things. But there's if you put small things, as you were saying before, if you put small things one after the other at the end, it builds up in something that's that's quite amazing. Significant, yeah. Yeah. So I would say that. And then again, the pursuit of your of your genuine desire, not what you feel uh is asked from you. You have a choice, and that's for the young generation, actually. Where do you want to go to? I always find it interesting that we go to university, and in our days it's even worse than before because before we could kind of change, and we were asked around 17 or 18. I'm not even sure if it changes that much, but now I mean you're 12, and we're already asking you what you want to do with your life because you you're already organizing your path towards university and towards your. I mean, how do you want to know what you're gonna do when you're 12? So I think it's important to be able to um be adaptable and flexible and try things, try a lot of different things to understand what you genuinely desire and start building from there. And so, and that brings to the last point. Uh for me, if you if um when speaking of a happy life, it's purpose. Uh, I don't think humans are built to live a life without purpose. I think that's what creates depression, uh, anxiety, uh, sadness. We like connecting. We're social animals. We need actually to participate to something. We need to build, we need it's in our DNA. So purpose, whatever is good for you, whatever works for you. But happiness uh I think comes through purpose.

Speaker 42:26

And purpose doesn't always have to be a big thing, is it? It's just to find a reason to get up in the morning and uh or or a way to feel useful.

Speaker 2 42:35

If you I think you need to wake up in the morning and be happy waking up in the morning. I read that sentence, I can't remember who it was, but I thought it was actually brilliant. It was saying if you wake up in the morning and you don't want to jump out of bed and you're not super excited by your get day, go back to sleep until you do.

Speaker 42:58

I like that.

Speaker 2 43:01

So uh yeah, but as you say, there's no big or small things. We're all here for a reason. You just need to find what is your reason, and that's very personal.

Speaker 43:20

Looking back on your life, is there anything you regret or anything you would do differently if you had the chance?

Speaker 2 43:29

I really try. It's an exercise because I'm human, like everybody else. But uh I want to start by saying I really try not to dwell on regrets uh because I don't feel they're very useful. Uh they won't be able to change the past, uh, but they most uh certainly uh are able to uh hold you back from moving forward. So it's really something I try not to let my brain go into. But again, I'm human and um And it's it's what I was saying before. If it's basically I would give myself the the same advice as I gave to uh earlier on uh for the younger generation, if I could go back, I would encourage myself to take more time to explore, to understand my desires, uh to get a better knowledge of myself and to take better care of me. Yeah, I think that would be it. But then again, if I had done that, I guess today I would have a very different life. So I see in the young generation, the amount of some of them have this knowledge or this thing, and I'm like, oh wow, it would have been amazing if I had understood that at the same age. I see that too. So sometimes they're so connected, and um I think it's fantastic.

Speaker 44:50

Yes. Uh yeah, yeah, it's amazing. Uh I feel that too. My son is now, he's turning 14 soon, and so he he follows some influencers on social media that talk about mental health and how to look after yourself and stuff like that. And I just look at him and I think, wow. Yeah. Yeah. All right, Alexandra, thank you very much for your time. Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2 45:18

Yeah, thank you. It was uh it was lovely. I had a really good time, so thank you very much for the opportunity.

Speaker 45:40

And remember, life is precious. Make the most of it. Until next time.