Stepping out of Your Comfort Zone Anxiety Free

Some days it genuinely feels like you’re sliding backwards: you lose momentum, you doubt yourself, and the comfort zone starts to look like the only safe option. We challenge that story with a simple idea that changes how you see progress: if you take two steps forward and one step back, you are still one step ahead of where you started. We read our short piece “One Step Ahead” from our book Stress Free in Three Minutes, then slow it down and make it practical for real life. 

We talk about why growth sticks even when you retreat for a breather, because your mind has already learned something new. There’s a brilliant image for this: try not to think of a pink elephant. Once you’ve pictured it, you cannot unpicture it and that’s how confidence works after you take action. We share examples that make this feel doable, from sending an email or opening a blank document, to an audition story where embarrassment turns into success the moment you show up anyway. 

We also get honest about limiting beliefs, especially the everyday ones like “I’m not good with computers”. When you repeat them, you turn a skill gap into an identity. Instead, we explore step-by-step learning, asking for help, and being kinder to yourself when you feel overwhelmed. If you want practical mindset tools, comfort zone strategies, and a gentle push towards personal growth, press play and take one small step today. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave us a review: what’s your next two-steps-forward moment?

Transcript

Feeling Stuck And Going Backwards

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Sometimes in life you can feel that you're going backwards and that you're not moving forward. Your life isn't going anywhere and uh not enough time. Yeah, that's right, yes.

The One Step Ahead Story

SPEAKER_00 0:12

So we're today in this week's episode, we're gonna be reading from our book Stressory in Three Minutes. Just one short little story or poem, whatever you would like to call it, anecdote. Yes. And it's called one step ahead. When you take two steps forwards and one step back, you are always one step ahead of where you started from. Sometimes it's easy to take two steps forward to challenge and push yourself that little extra. And then it's comforting to know that you can take one step back and enjoy that feeling of what is still familiar to you because you know that you are still one step ahead to the old you. Yet you can appreciate that you've stepped out of your comfort zone. Knowing that tomorrow is another day where you can take two steps forward, or even three. Knowing that you can choose to take one or two steps backwards. Feeling all the while that you are growing and becoming self-assured because you know that you are always one step ahead of the old you. As you grow and learn, taking those two steps forward becomes second nature and easier to do. One day out of the blue, you may even forget to remember to take that one step back.

Why You Cannot Unlearn Growth

SPEAKER_00 1:52

Yes, I like that. I like it. I like it because it allows you to yes challenge yourself and yes, push yourself and take that one step forward, but you can always go back to your comfort zone and not feel too freaked out by what you're doing. I know, and knowing that you're still going ahead, though. Yeah, because it's two steps, isn't it? But it's one step back forwards and just one step. Step back. Because I think once you've taken the two steps forward, you can't really take two steps back. No, because your mind has evolved. Has learnt how to do that and grown. You've actually made the effort, you've actually pushed yourself to take that one step forward. It's saying, it's like saying you can't don't think of a pink elephant. Once you've thought of a pink elephant, you can't not unthink it, it's it's there, it's there in the room, you've manifested it, you've manifested, you can see it now, so you've taken those two steps forwards. You can take one step back and think, oh phew, you know, that was scary. Now I'll go back, you know, and yeah, need a day off. And but you've opened, for example, once you've opened that PDF and you've started to write, like for us, we had to actually write our books. Once you opened that file, we knew you'd opened it. You knew you'd opened and you started and you've started. Even if you never published the book in the end, but you had the book there. The book was you took that step. It'd been written. It'd been written. It's like once you apply, then you just send that email off. Yes, that's it. You've done it. Now you go back into your little safe space and think, oh, okay, you know, I'm back in

Auditions, Embarrassment And Doing It Anyway

SPEAKER_00 3:42

my company. For instance, that's funny because my niece was uh telling me when I was in England, she was saying, I've applied for this. Uh this I did an audition for a part, and I had to use a really cockney accent, and I was totally, and I look so stupid and I feel so stupid. So everyone said, Let's listen to it, and we all listened to it. And she goes, Oh no, I hope they don't call me. But then they called her, and then she said, Oh gosh, I I can't go. And we all said, Yes, you can. They've called you, you might as well now. And she went and she got the part. She got the part, there you go. Because she had done it, even though it would be it was out of her comfort zone, it wasn't something she normally did. So she was embarrassed. She was totally embarrassed, and she said, I just winged it, but she did it, and then she got the part, and she said, Actually, it was fun. Yeah, it was funny. She took that extra step, and then once they called her, she thought, I can't really say no now. Once they call her, it's especially if she's she's doing acting. She's she's that's she goes, I can't say no now, can I? And we said no, you have to go for it. You have to go for it. So it's just, and I think the the the comforting thought about one step is that it's it's kind of it's achievable, it's a doable thing, isn't it? It's very we're not saying take it frightening, but it can't be doable, yeah. Everything is doable, it's not like jumping off a like paragliding off a cliff or something. No, the first step towards doing that would obviously be going on a course to do it. Exactly. And then you go on a course and you get a filter, and then you might say, Oh, I take one little step, and then you might go with the instructor. If you take one step out of the airplane, you've had it, or wherever it is off the mountain. That that they don't make you do that. No, no, first of all, you probably get the gear on. I don't know, I've never done that. It's all in step by steps, isn't it? Yeah, you're right. If when you're becoming like if for your first surgery, if you're in a medicine, a medical person, or if you're a scientist, you're a scientist for your first like working with uh with something that you're not familiar with, the first time it's like daunting, but you don't just go that no one will just let they won't just let me into the lab or into into into the thing and start performing surgery. No, there's so many steps to get there, and then and it's that first step where you have the inkling, you have the idea, it's when you block it and you say, No, I'm not taking that first step, that that's a problem. That's a problem, that's when you you get kind of stuck. Take it anyway. Say, Oh, that's not for me, actually, but you're already so far ahead, yes, and then you can make a decision once you've taken that first step, then you can look back and say, Okay, I'm gonna go back. And you can go back because you're scared, and that's fine. It's fine to be scared. You go back, you rest, but you know you've already taken that, those two steps. So you're already one step ahead of where you were yesterday. So it's you've already grown, and you can take comfort in that. Well, it's very satisfying, it's satisfying to know that you did it, whatever it was, isn't it? Yes, it makes you feel as if you've done that, and you're always going to be one step ahead of the old you, and the old you is fine if you're very happy with that old you, but if you're thinking of taking it, I think I don't think it ever is fine because you can't. It's never fine because you become complacent and you become bored with your life. Yeah, I think it's essential to continue to to to to grow by learning new things every day, not every day.

Limiting Beliefs And Learning Basics

SPEAKER_00 7:20

You can have like no matter what it is, get my eyes tested, and the the late the optician, she said, I'm not good with computers. And I was thinking, yeah, okay, you're not good with computers, but you know, why don't you try and get good if you're not good? And it's she was getting really quite anxious about it. Yeah. Because I was just sitting there and she had a problem. But you know, in the end, if you keep saying, I'm not good at this and I'm not good at that, you're forming your limiting beliefs and beliefs about yourself. Whereas if you maybe took one step, if she take if she takes one step that evening to say, Let me figure out how this works. Or ask a colleague, how does this work? Can you teach me? What is this? Is this some kind of program? Can you just teach me one thing about it today? Let me see if I can learn one thing, become more curious, and you're just taking one little step forward. It doesn't mean you have to understand the whole program, whatever it was, but you're understanding, okay, so it's in little, it's a table, it's something I can learn, I can put the patient's name in, whatever it was, I don't know what it was, but it's something that you can learn without stopping yourself and forming that. Well, she did ask for help in the end because she phoned someone up and they helped her get in, and then she had to explain it was because she was on the computer and not on the tablet. But you could see that she was going through quite a lot of anguish about it because I mean she didn't know me and probably because she had me in and I she was just making me wait and she kept, sorry for sorry that I'm making you wait. I'm so sorry, I'm not good with computers. But she was learning though, because she learned how to do it. Well, she phoned someone up. Yeah, well, that's good. She called for help, but I don't know if in the future she'll know how to do it. Like if I was her, I would have taken that little extra step afterwards to just make sure that I always knew how to get into it. Well, she probably did. Because if it yeah, if she said it's not on a tablet, I mean we don't have to go into this niche detail of a of this lady, but I'm sure she in the end probably if she found herself in one awkward situation. Because I've I'm just thinking that there's so many people that don't open their minds up. So obviously, if you're listening to this podcast, you're probably not one of those. No. If if you stop just saying to yourself, if you keep saying to yourself that you're not good at something, and you never bother to take that one step towards it, you'll never get there. So if you have a slight interest in that thing, go for it. Or if something's causing you problems every day, like for her a work thing, yeah. Yeah, a work thing, do you know, just take those extra 10 minutes to go and ask someone how to do it, or you know, take that first step. Yeah. But it's so awkward not to, because you feel bad afterwards if you don't. Yeah, you feel like the world is like more of a complication, everything is difficult. Yeah, don't you

Fear, Self Worth And Being Kind

SPEAKER_00 10:17

agree? No, I do. I was thinking about my own limitations when I was younger, when I used to fly, and I was an air uh flight attendant, and I there were certain things that my brain just couldn't get around in those days. I mean, you would think it was pretty basic, you know how to like because you can see properly. Well, maybe because I couldn't see. It was like when we had to do like the the the service in in first class, it used to be called top class, I think in Ali Tiley at those days. I just couldn't get round it. I don't know why I couldn't understand it. Like now it's a bit dyspraxic in those days. Probably the numbers or whatever, or how to just follow a plan, how to do the service. It seems so easy now. How could I have not understood it? Why would I be freaking out? Maybe it's because I would be free uh you know, these are things that this is life, isn't it? You think something seems so easy now. How could it have seemed complicated once upon a time? So I say, be kind to yourself. Yeah, don't cut yourself up to you. Don't beat yourself up. But like if I'd perhaps known what I know now about the mind and the brain and how it works, I wish I'd known. I would have sat down and thought, okay, Yutka, this is a challenge for you, but learn. Like they would have diagrams and and about how the galley was, and box here and box one. You for you you get box one, and then you the plates are in there, and all other people, other colleagues seem to understand where the the whole map of everything was, and they would just grab it like the wine glasses are in there, box zero nine. Now I would I would probably be able to imagine that in my mind, but but then I don't know why. I couldn't. Maybe because you were overwhelmed at the time. I don't know. I was just like thinking, I mean, I suppose it's not that easy. You know, I'm making it seem simple now, but it was a whole training, you would have to remember where everything was and do the whole thing. I just think of the the place settings, you know, when they I used to think how can my mother-in-law like set the table so beautifully? Really, yeah with all the knives and forks and spoons. And if they ever said to me, set the table, I would feel like really like Incompetent. Incompetent to do it. Whereas now it just seems Well, I suppose first class was a bit like that. You'd have to get the flute classes, you'd have to remember all the different things, all the different positions. Obviously, it wasn't like economy, we just have a little a little tray and just get it out and heat that the food up, and that was it, you know, and then coffee and tea. But the first class was a challenge, and I would always, even though there was only 12 passengers, so ideally it would have been a lot simpler than serving 400 people. Yes, you know, you would think, but I would always like push me. Oh no, thanks, I don't want to do that. You know, I would be the first one to say no. It was the easiest job, really, wasn't it? Well, kind of, because you'd once you got the service done, there was only 12 people to serve. Most people were very educated and kind of, you know, they wouldn't be they wouldn't cause problems in first class, they'd just go to sleep, you know, they're mostly they're all happy. They'd get all their little wines and everything, and they'd be sorted. Or they were people that were of a certain like they were politicians or actors, and so they were famous. They were, yes, they had like I suppose most people wanted to go there to be. Yeah, they did. And whereas I would always be saying, Oh god, no, no, because I can't understand the service of it. I don't know if any of you flight attends will say, probably sympathize with me, but it was just it felt complex at the time. And you were supposed to study these books they would give us, but I would just not figure them out. So, what I'm saying is that if you if if I'd understood this one step forward thing, I would have probably said to myself, okay, push yourself one step, go and and try and figure it out when there's nobody there, or go and visit your, you know, the people in first class because we were allowed to go upstairs and go and see what was going on. Go and visit them and ask them. Just say, Well, how did you do it today? Where are the plates? Let me just take a look at the galley. Slowly become become familiar with it. That's one step, isn't it? Yes, that's one step. You could do that. But you just said, Oh no, I'm still. I would hide back in economy where everyone used to smoke, and I was a non-smoker and it was hell. But I was hide back there and just think, no, this is my comfort zone. Yes, that was your comfort zone. Whereas other people would die to get that position, you know, they would say, Oh, can I do first class? You know, when you would have the little, I'll do, I'll do it. I'll be in the galley in first class. I would say, no, no, I'll go back there. Yeah, back in the troops. I'll be with like the people I know and what I know and what I'm saying. This was you what you were familiar with as well, coming from maybe a working class background. You weren't used to being around people that were maybe like you could see. Absolutely. Yes, but yes, I I yes, but yes, I did. I had the perfect, I would be able to do it perfectly. Of course. Because it wasn't like I didn't know how to speak or or communicate, you you had the training as well, you knew what you had to say. I mean, I did make one mistake once, I think I called somebody something that was not the right terminology, like the poet. Yes, yes, something. It was something, it was a big deal. But anyway, what I'm saying is that if if you go in and you've already got a big advantage, if you can be kind to yourself and think it's one step forward, I will just take one step forward and I'm okay now, but I will be, or and I might not be, and it might not be for me. It doesn't have to be everything has to be for you, and you have to be brilliant. No, and I don't have to be frightened of it. I can just the being frightened, the being scared, the being doing it, the putting it. I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough, you know. The not the the the self-worth, I think. Whereas I would see other colleagues that were just full of themselves and they just had it, and they just thought, oh, I've and then in the end they weren't even that good. Well, no. So it's not like they weren't any better than you. Exactly, but they had that belief in themselves. So I think this is for you people that are a bit like us, you know, that maybe at the beginning you don't feel like you're good enough for that or for this or for whatever it is. Just take it slowly, step by step, I say. Step by step, every step of the way. Exactly. You might even find that you'll take three steps forward one day. I know, and then you forget to step back. Like for us now, this podcasting has become so natural. Yes. It was a big challenge. And a challenge, and it was scary. Yeah, absolutely.

Subscribe, Message Us, Final Takeaway

SPEAKER_00 17:23

So do come and subscribe to our channel on YouTube at the English Sisters, and come and see us on Instagram, TikTok, The English Sisters, and wherever you get your podcast, please do send us a text message. You can send us a text message and say hi. And I think that's about it. That's about it. Remember, take one step forward and you will always be ahead in your life. Yeah. Lots of love and smiles from the distance. Bye bye.