Thankful This Thanksgiving

As the festive season approaches, juggling family, finances, and faith can seem overwhelming. This Thanksgiving our co-hosts Shay and Vanessa pause and reflect to share all that they are thankful for this year.  We relish in God's perfect plan and timing for all that has transpired. As we learn to let go and let God we are reminded in Proverbs 16:9, "We can make our plan,  but the LORD determines our steps."

We offer our tested insights into handling family stress and financial planning, from sharing hosting duties to having honest conversations about finances with children. We'll guide you through effective strategies for managing time and stress, ensuring the holiday season remains joyous. The holiday season can be a fulfilling period rather than a stress-driven whirlwind. 

Join us as we delve into the significance of money, the essence of giving, and the true spirit of the holiday season. Walk away with actionable strategies and a fresh perspective on aligning faith and finances.

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Our podcast is proudly sponsored by Crusaders for Change, LLC (C4C) and hosted by our CEO and Founder, Mrs. Shay Cook. At C4C, we provide customized corporate financial wellness programs for businesses, government agencies, and nonprofit organizations. Our services are tailored to create happier, healthier, and more productive work environments. We also empower individuals and couples to overcome debt, improve their credit, boost savings, and more. Ready to learn more about how C4C can impact your life? Contact us today at https://www.crusaders4change.org/!

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Music by:
Lamonte Silver - Owner of essentialmusicclub.com | Previously by ROA - roa-music.com

Chapters

• 0:05 Religion and Money
• 10:40 Surrendering to God's Plan
• 13:25 Family Stress and Financial Planning
• 17:43 Tips for Hosting and Taking Breaks
• 26:34 Religion, Money, and New Traditions

Transcript

Shay: 0:35

Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Yahweh's Money. I am Shay Cook, one of your hosts, and we have the beautiful Vanessa joining us. Hi, shay, how are you today? Hi, co-host Vanessa, I'm good. I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving coming up and this year ending, which is crazy. 2024 is almost here, I know.

Vanessa: 0:55

It's hard to believe. I feel like this year has been. There's been a lot of good things, but a lot of crazy things too.

Shay: 1:02

I'm ready for new beginnings.

Shay: 1:04

Yeah, exactly, I mean we really want to dedicate this episode to giving thanks. With the holiday coming up, this episode will actually air on Thanksgiving Day, so we're excited to talk about that. And Thanksgiving and money and everything religion this is Yalway's Money, y'all that's what we talk about. So Thanksgiving is a time to pause and reflect on the things we are grateful for. First, to our Lord, for all that he does. I mean, it's just truly amazing what God does for each one of us and for His abundant and unwavering love. Yeah, and I would add new mercy, new grace every morning, because we need that. So we are flawed human beings and God is perfect. So we appreciate that. And we want to thank our listeners for supporting Yalway's Money. We are so grateful for you and wish you and your loved ones a blessed and joyful Thanksgiving. And thank you to the families and friends and neighbors and co-workers. We just so thankful. This year it's been, like Vanessa said, a good year, but a crazy year. But what are you specifically thankful for this?

Vanessa: 2:09

year. Well, first off, I thought Thanksgiving was about all the Black Friday cells, so this is all news to me.

Shay: 2:16

For real, though, and that's what we should be talking about as money experts no, no.

Vanessa: 2:23

So you know Thanksgiving, I will tell you, a lot goes on in November for me, so November is usually kind of like a crazy birthday.

Shay: 2:30

She's our birthday guy. She has a birthday this month.

Vanessa: 2:33

I will be 29 again so just kidding.

Shay: 2:35

Okay, girl, but yeah so.

Vanessa: 2:37

November is always one of those months. It's like it's a hard month, but it's also a great month of reflection, which is perfect for Thanksgiving. But yeah, I'm thankful for a lot this year. I mean, I'm thankful number one for the amazing people I get to work with because we are more like a family than anything else.

Shay: 2:54

These days we really are.

Vanessa: 2:56

Yeah, and then just being able to, you know, spend time with family and be closer than I was the last few years. So lots of things.

Shay: 3:05

Yeah, yeah. And you know, in one Thessalonians 5, 16, 1, it says rejoice always, pray continually, thank you and all circumstances, for this is God's will for you and Christ Jesus. And so this year has been crazy. I mean one year anniversary of me having my hysterectomy, one year anniversary of my baby boy and my doggy dying, you know, and then a lot of different other surgeries, husband's heart surgery, to list, go on. So like just coming out of all of that health stuff from 2022 into 2023 and then being able to see growth and crusaders for change.

Shay: 3:43

I'm so thankful for my daughter graduated this year from college, so that was amazing, so it'll save us. I thought some money, but she moved home and that cost money and so but. And then, of course, for our amazing team and Vanessa, you know, becoming our chief operating officer, and Adriana and Eleanor supporting us continuously and hopefully more in the future. So I'm just end growing. I mean just lots of growth, lots of opportunities.

Shay: 4:12

You know there's always things I would like to work on, but I'm just so thankful. I'm thankful always. So, god, I'm thankful for Jesus. I'm thankful for God, like I'm thankful for the Holy Spirit. I am thankful that I have these guiding spirit, this guiding knowledge from the Bible and from mentors and you know my ancestors, may they rest in peace, but thank you for always being with me and all of that to guide us. And so I'm thankful for bigger things as I get older. Things not as minute, not as small, not materialistic. I'm like I'm cutting back on wanting to buy things like that. It's just like I'm just so thankful for the big things that come every day.

Vanessa: 4:52

So that's what I'm thankful for that's awesome, yeah, and I think we forget that even in dark times, there's a lot to be thankful for.

Shay: 4:59

Yeah, I mean God uses all that for our good, and so it's necessary. And as I get older and realize failure is not a bad thing, it's a necessary thing. Darkness means light is coming, so you need to embrace all of it. So, and Thanksgiving can also be a time for healing, a time to forgive and a time for reflection, like Vanessa said. So some people take the time to serve their community and do random acts of kindness. So what type of healing and forgiveness or reflection around money have you had to endure this year?

Vanessa: 5:33

You know, I think there's a lot that goes a little bit deeper with money and how we use money for those things. You know, I think this year I've spent a lot of time seeing how some people feel like more than I ever have feel like money and having nice things. It decides who you are, which is not something I've ever really thought or been a part of, and it's kind of an eye-opening to see how some people really equate their worth to what they have.

Vanessa: 6:06

And it's really it's a hard thing to watch and it's a hard thing to see because it's like we're worth so much more than that and nothing. I mean none of that matters. In the end, we can't take anything with us either. But yeah, I think being able to reflect on what we have is a great thing too, because we don't do that enough, and I think we always feel like we're missing out or we don't have something.

Vanessa: 6:28

But when you're able to reflect and you're able to see where you were last year or, you know, 10 years ago, or even where people are in other countries or places, we are truly blessed. Even people who are not right off here, compared to other places, they are wealthy, so wealthy.

Vanessa: 6:46

And it's just like we have running water, we have power, we have access to help care. It may not be affordable, but we have these things that other people would do anything for and we take them for granted. So just being thankful for these things, that we have in our lives, that you know, I think we forget about those things a lot. So being able to just step back a little bit and forgive ourselves too, you know, forgive ourselves for not being thankful or not feeling good not knowing things are not.

Vanessa: 7:16

you know what we need or what we have or what we want is really high up somewhere, and you know we need to be thankful for what we have right now and that we even have a running car. We have access to, you know, food, that kind of thing. And we forget that it's okay to be thankful and happy with what you have and not feel like you need more, want more want to strive for more things.

Shay: 7:41

So true, because there are people, that a lot of people, millions of people, even in this country that still don't have the basic necessities, that don't have the home, don't have a car. We work with some of those people don't have the food every day or have to sacrifice to get food to their kids or go to a food pantry and all that. We don't want to have any shame around that, that's just a reality and you know we're here to support in any way but God. But God, right, he will. He. And there's a reason why if you are in that circumstance, you're going through it, but God, he will get you through. You know we've all been in low parts, whether it's been down all the way down to homelessness and domestic violence, to whatever your, your trial and tribulation is. You know, but God, because he will see you through, there is a reason why you're going through that. It's going to make you a better person. And you know, as in Isaiah 12, 4 says, give praise to the Lord, proclaim, proclaim his name, make known among the nations what he has done and proclaim that his name is exalted. So I really what I see when I hear that. Or is this like, god is in control, like, and we need to.

Shay: 8:55

That gratitude and around all of that, you know, and I have to add, you know, this year has been a lot for me is against still learning to surrender. You know, I've, I've had to let go a lot with the money and just say, even though I've had plans for the money and God's had other plans for the money, that is hard because it's like I wanna do this, I wanna do that, but I have on my phone right now from Proverbs 16, nine. It says we can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. That's my front page there because I wanna be reminded like, okay, shay, you making all these plans for this money, for this time, for this thing, god's like, okay, do what you're gonna do, but I already got a plan. So I realized that the other day I was like, oh man, I'm like so excited about this opportunity, that opportunity and I wrote that down years ago.

Shay: 9:47

And God in my spirit is saying I gave you that, I gave you that idea. This ain't something coming from you. Okay, I was like, oh no, you're right, you just. And so if you gave me that idea, of course you're gonna see it through and you're gonna make sure it happens, you're gonna provide all the resources and everything, and so it's just really like all right, lord, I'm surrendering, like let it go, because it's like, after a while people you realize you ain't in control and nothing. So it's like and I mean that's something to be thankful for, because honestly, I think it's hard because we're humans and we have this ego, but when you let go and let go and let the spirit go, it's hard still, but it's kind of easier actually, because it's just like all right, lord, let me sit back and see what kind of glorious thing you're going to do next, you know, you know, and one of the always say they say what is the little saying like?

Shay: 10:40

if you want to make God laugh, show him your plans or tell him your plans right your plans, yeah, and I think that's so true, because we can plan and plan and plan and we can wish and we can want, and I think what we don't see is usually later on, when we look back at things.

Vanessa: 10:53

his plan was so much better than our plan.

Shay: 10:58

And he probably gave you that idea anyway, and you think you just try to take it on as your own Right. He gives you, he gave you a plan and then, hey, I'll use this podcast as a thing he gave me. He called it God's Money Years ago and I was like I want to do that, I ain't got time to do that. And then our product product producer God bless our hearts Like what about a podcasting? I already had a name. And so then I try to make it all mine and like do this. And he's like no, like this is what you're going to do. And things changed and you guys had ideas and I just be like okay, whatever.

Shay: 11:27

And that's kind of like hello, I give you the people to do this, gave you the product product producer, I gave you the co-host, like let me do my thing. And then it just flows easy, like I'll wake up this morning and I'm tired, but as soon as I see your beautiful faces I'm like let's go. And I'm like, oh, thank you, Jesus, cause I was like I don't know how I'm going to do this this morning.

Vanessa: 11:48

You know I like to see God also gave us coffee and that really helps Amen. With all the stuff. But yeah, and it's so true, and I think that's something we need to take. It's like we can plan and we can think and some of us are type A personalities and that's what we do. We plan and it's. I think it's even harder for us because we're like you know. We have this mapped out.

Vanessa: 12:09

It's supposed to be just like this, and if it doesn't go this way, then I'm going to have a little freak out or whatever it's going to be yeah. But yeah, but we have to let go, and that's such a hard thing to learn, and I think you struggle with that your whole life.

Shay: 12:24

You know you do so. You do, or it gets easier as you get older and you're just like I'm tired because it's exhausting. Struggling with God people like this is like it's exhausting. Why, why would you do after?

Vanessa: 12:37

a while. Okay, always gotta win.

Shay: 12:40

I'm like, okay, I wrote out this beautiful plan and then things are going to ABC router, they're going left or right, and it's like I just followed it and it's like, oh, oh, that was better than I even thought. Wow, okay, lord. So hey, I'm just as I get older, I'm not gonna let it be harder, I'm just gonna be like, all right, I'm surrendering. I wrote something down. You tell me what I need to do, exactly, just download from the spirit, download from Jesus. God, let's just you figured. You tell me what I need to, and so, and I get to enjoy it Exactly Okay.

Vanessa: 13:13

That's really yeah, and if you let things happen that way, I mean it's a lot less work for us too.

Shay: 13:20

You know when the it really is. So this can be also a busy time for families. Many are traveling, hosting Thanksgiving dinner and shopping and, according to Yahoo finance, nearly half of Americans plan to travel between Thanksgiving and early January. Sometimes all of the running around and planning activities can be added sources of stress, and I added money because they can, and, as someone who Tends to get worked up at this time, find time to relax. You'll need. You really do. I don't know how this is hard. You know. We Thanksgiving, so you, like you had your birthday, and so my brother has his birthday six days before mine, like a couple days after Thanksgiving. He was actually born on Thanksgiving and then I have my birthday and in my daughter's birthday in December and then my husband's like December sucks A lot of days. And then I have like what to? To have a niece and a nephew's birthday in January and my sister-in-law means it's just crazy. Like I think we only have like two months with no birthdays in this whole year.

Shay: 14:21

So, a lot of planning head right, so trying to relax. But planning ahead can reduce stress and save money. So, from anywhere thing from making a list that you need to do, what you need to do around Thanksgiving, including shopping and cooking and cleaning. Just breaking down those tasks into smaller, more manageable steps and setting deadlines for each one is one of our recommendations. But yeah, so it's a lot.

Vanessa: 14:46

It is a lot. It's so funny. So I am definitely the planner in my family and I usually think it's it's usually a female that's the planner in the family. But my dad, my whole life, is called me jumpy, because if we talk about something I jump into action and I make it happen and he it's very different toward what he says, that he doesn't mean it in a good way, but at the same time it's like somebody has to be that person, somebody has to put a plan in place, because I think people have so many things going on now that if you don't plan early You're not going to get everybody there, or half the people there.

Vanessa: 15:20

Whatever it might be. And then, when you're planning ahead and you're able to save money on travel and to delegate, you're not waiting till the last minute to buy things. Exactly better for everybody. Um, it really really.

Shay: 15:33

I totally agree. Yeah, yeah, I save every year's. I've shared on other episodes for Christmas, like I have a separate Christmas account, savings account and I put money in there every day. And so this uh, we had a family dinner a couple weeks last week and all my nieces and nephews are six, including my daughter around the table talking and having and having fun, and so my sister always comes back and debriefs like what's going on with her cousins. As she said and I shared this with Vanessa I was like, yeah, they say they say yeah, so on shades rich, on Like what you know what I mean, so they can.

Shay: 16:09

So my husband's like are you rich? I didn't know you were rich. I was like I'm a hundred miles from poor, but I ain't rich. So, but, uh, they don't understand and I think what I'm gonna do something this year, even always give them like 50 to 100 plus dollars a year, like.

Shay: 16:25

And I think I'm gonna have to have a sit down with these little kids and almost adults and teenagers and say, alright, this is how your aunt is able to accomplish this for you guys. Don't look at it like, oh, I got the wrench on. Like no, I actually saved for 12 months so I can give you all of this money. So you know, just kind of teach them that it ain't about an appearance of being rich and all of that. It's like, shoot, I probably could I was, as I've made more money or even less money coming into business. I make less but I I've always saved for them, like that's a joy to be able to give them like that $100 bill or whatever, because then just to see their little faces and then find out they're showing pictures with the $100 bill on a Tiktok, like dude right.

Vanessa: 17:09

Yeah, they're calling you anti-chichin now. So yeah, you should give them all financial counseling sessions for Christmas this year.

Shay: 17:20

I know right, alright, if you want this money, you got to sit with me for at least five to ten minutes and we're gonna have a conversation about this, cuz you're not. Oh my god, they would be so mad if I gave them orange. But other things to do is like delegate task and take breaks. Focus on the positive, embrace the imperfection, which I love. So Delegating task is don't be afraid to ask for help, ask to sign. You know this is something. This is so good and timely.

Shay: 17:56

Assigned tasks to family members or friends, such as setting the table, preparing side dishes, are, cleaning up after the mill. We've discussed this with our family recently because as we get older and our Elders get older and they the ones like monstons, uncles, my parents have always done Christmas and Thanksgiving are like, okay, you 30, 40 year old children of ours, y'all need to handle this. On Nate and I was like, yeah, we need to do it this year. But I'm like, yeah, everybody's gonna pitch in. Yeah, I'm not gonna just be Nate and that's do my daughter doing everything. Now y'all gonna have to cook, you're gonna clean, set up Whatever, because we need. It becomes a lot when you're talking about 30, 40, 50 people.

Vanessa: 18:32

So and you're exhausted, you're absolutely. Yeah, and then you're left feeling like I need three or four days to recover from this yeah. It's a ton of work when you host like that. You know something really I've done this year and I was like I'm taking back my time. So I told my dad I was like you can choose, I can either be their Thanksgiving or Christmas. I'm not coming for both, hmm.

Shay: 18:57

This one's gonna be for me.

Vanessa: 18:59

Yeah, exactly he was really upset with it, but I put the power back in his hand because I let him choose when meant more damn. So, this Thanksgiving I'm staying here. And then I'm gonna go visit for Christmas because yeah, it's a lot of time and effort and just work to go somewhere Really is you know they always say oh, you get to go on a vacation or you get to go on a little trip.

Vanessa: 19:22

And I'm like there's a difference in a vacation, in a trip. Trip takes time and effort and you usually come home more exhausted than when you leave. And that's how it is, you know it's you go up there and you have to run around and see people and do things and it's costly and you don't get a minute to Breathe. So yeah, so true take those things back and make your own rules and respect yourself like that too.

Shay: 19:46

Yeah, and when you're hosting, it's the lead up to it too, all the planning before buying the food and all of that cooking, cleaning, hosting, and then you know you die down. But you still got to clean your house, like we always. Every time we host, we're up to two and three in the morning cleaning, because I don't like to go to bed when I'm house dirty. So I'll say it was an eight in a lot of no's, like as soon as the last person leaves, all right, don't you go watch no TV or anything. Let's go clean this house now. I mean everything, like wiping out everything, mopping the floor, like everything back. I mean like we're doing it because I in the next day I don't want to even think about anything.

Shay: 20:18

So I mean so it's a lot of work. I love and enjoy it. I think I'm an amazing host, but it's just a lot of work. Energy, it's a lot of work. And then I mean again taking breaks right Throughout the day. It can help you recharge and stay focused, whether it's going on a walk, listening to music or simply relaxing for a few minutes. During this time of the year, we need to learn how to take breaks.

Vanessa: 20:38

Yeah, and I think when you host and when you're planning these things too, you miss out on a lot of the fun you do. That's something about taking the breaks too, because I know my aunt Joan. She usually hosts Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever. And she's always running around like a crazy woman and it's like she doesn't sit down to eat and it's like you have all these people at your house. You haven't seen them for a while. Go sit down, I've got this.

Shay: 21:01

So if you're not hosting offer to help Take some stress off that host and they're going to remember that and be so thankful for you so true, I was just at a prayer meeting event the other day and my god sister's mother was going through some things and so I just saw that she needed help and so I just started helping helping give her food, cleaning up and I could see that she was able to sit back and just, you know and I always try to do that anyway, because that's just me I just like to keep moving and cleaning and helping. I don't want to just sit down, but people need that help and if you see somebody struggling, please offer to help a host, Because you know you can see them getting tired. I know my mama she be getting older, she be getting tired, and I'll be like mama go sit down.

Shay: 21:45

Let us take care of this. You know, because I mean she did it for 30, 40 years it's time for us to step up too. That's why I keep on telling my husband, like the younger generations not only I'm in the 40s, ok, I'm a generation ZB, oh my god X, a, b, c, d, e, f, g generation. My daughter is Z, I am X, so, anyways. But the boomers are tired people. Let them boomers sit down. We Xers are getting tired, exactly. Millennials need to step up. Z need to step up in all the younger ones. So I have nieces and nephews from 11 to almost 18. And I mean my sister's always like I got kids. Let them do it. I'm like for real. I love that.

Vanessa: 22:25

Yeah, because I always like I see the kids sitting there on their phones, like I feel like an old man would say that, and it's like they're sitting there on their phones and they, you know, they get up and they make a plate and they even take the plate to the trash can whenever they're done and I'm like what are you doing when I was your age? Like I was making sure everybody was fed, Everybody had stuff making to go plates. And remember what your parents and your grandparents do for you daily.

Vanessa: 22:48

And on special occasions like let them relax a little. Yeah, and enjoy it, you know, and they'll remember that and they'll be super thankful for that too. So I think it's just awareness. People need to be more aware of those around us, especially on these big events.

Shay: 23:05

And then also there's a time for the young ins to learn, because who else gonna learn how to cook that macaroni cheese, some greens, some yams, no turkey, that ham and all that rest of the food? Like you sit around here Maybe, and you know, eventually we all die and then we pass the traditions on. So to me is like we're losing Traditions because these kids are not interested in learning. Like before I went to join, when I got married, before I got, my mom Gave me a cookbook all her recipe, the major, yeah, and I still have it, because it was like she wanted to pass that down and I saw her cook it throughout.

Shay: 23:35

But she, yeah, and so I still have them. You use it. I know how to cook hers, her famous potato salad and all that cuz you know. She shared that with us. Now my siblings like yeah, we, my husband learned from his grandmother how to cook her famous stuffing and all these other things, so I don't Lot of. My husband made sure she learned how to do all that, but I see a lot of kids not learning that.

Vanessa: 24:02

So my dad's mother, she used to make this thing called a pink pie and if you ever had a pink pie you know it's just basically like Joe and cool if that's it like that's really, it's just like a pink fluffy pie in a graham cracker crust. Okay, I'm dying for a pink pie. The last couple of years, well what? He doesn't know, is that I know how to make one, because I spent time with her in the kitchen, so last time I was surprised in with a pink pie.

Vanessa: 24:27

Oh, so much, so much, yeah, it's like just because I spent time with her in the kitchen, like what you're saying. I'm able to do these little things sometimes and it just surprises people. Yeah, I was there and I was present and I you know. Pay attention and it meant something to me in the moment, but it's like it can mean something other people later on too.

Shay: 24:49

Exactly. That is so true and you know, throughout, all, throughout all of this, we need to focus on the positive, because Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful for what you have and just take some time. Then reflect the word keeps coming up right. Reflect, reflect. Reflect on the good things in your life and focus on the positive. And, lastly, embrace imperfection, because remember that Thanksgiving doesn't have to be perfect. Embrace them perfections, and enjoy the time spent with loved ones.

Shay: 25:15

I've never been to a perfect Thanksgiving. I'm glad I haven't, because those are the best Thanksgiving. You know, when people acting crazy, getting a little too tipsy or drunk, maybe it's a couple fights for throwing in there over the years, and my mom always seems to burn the marshmallows on the yam, so now she knows not to cook that. We laugh about that. Now my niece and my daughter dropped a turkey one year trying to put it in a bag. Like I can go online and those are the best. Like I'm getting chills and I'm getting joy. It's filling up in my body right now. Y'all, I'm getting hot by the joy of the imperfection. It's this funny, comical moments and it's just like those are what we're gonna remember. It don't need to be perfect. We've been to Thanksgiving where all the food was nasty and it was like dude. We're never eating at your house again. But guess what? Another fun memory. Yeah, no, it wasn't perfect, so you know. So I can go on and on, but you know you gotta embrace.

Vanessa: 26:08

Yeah, totally agree with that and always remember that waffle house and cracker barrel Are open on. Thanksgiving, so something happens. Great way to close.

Shay: 26:25

Any final thoughts other than waffles and cracker barrel are open. Yes, we need them as sponsors.

Vanessa: 26:34

Yeah, I would just say, you know it does like you said, doesn't have to be perfect, and it's okay if it's different than the year before, and it's okay to have new traditions, and it's okay. Yes you know to make it your own. But yeah, just be aware, pay attention and help when you can yeah, well, thank you all for another.

Shay: 26:53

Well, thank you Vanessa for another great episode and our podcast producer for amazing script, and thank you, god for the energy and everything you do. Okay, lord. So thank you all for joining us today. Don't forget to follow us wherever podcasts are found, and remember is always better Yahweh's way.