Yahweh’s Money®️: The Crossroads of Religion & Money

From FOMO to Faith: Finding True Contentment in a Material World

• Shay Cook & Vanessa McNelley • Season 3 • Episode 64

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What if chasing material success is the very thing that's keeping you unhappy? Join Shay Cook and Vanessa McNelley on Yahweh's Money as we unpack how the pervasive issue of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) drives us into a cycle of stress and dissatisfaction. We lean on biblical wisdom, particularly from Matthew 6:19-21, and use relatable metaphors to illustrate the pitfalls of valuing possessions over spiritual wealth. Together, we share personal stories and insights aimed at finding true contentment through gratitude, spiritual growth, and the joy of being a cheerful giver.

Our discussion extends to the profound impact of selfless giving and the dangers of consumerism. Reflecting on personal anecdotes, we contrast the hollow pursuit of material wealth with the fulfilling experience of generosity inspired by spiritual teachings. Highlighting the negative influence of media that promotes unrealistic standards, we advocate for prioritizing spiritual growth and meaningful contributions. Through stories of faith, such as choosing spiritual guidance over medical treatment and the journey to homeownership, we emphasize the importance of faith, obedience, and trusting in God's provision to discover true happiness.

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Our podcast is proudly sponsored by Crusaders for Change, LLC (C4C) and hosted by our CEO and Founder, Mrs. Shay Cook. At C4C, we provide customized corporate financial wellness programs for businesses, government agencies, and nonprofit organizations. Our services are tailored to create happier, healthier, and more productive work environments. We also empower individuals and couples to overcome debt, improve their credit, boost savings, and more. Ready to learn more about how C4C can impact your life? Contact us today at https://www.crusaders4change.org/!

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Shay:

Ever felt those awkward vibes when religion and money come up? You're not alone. Welcome to Yahweh's Money, the podcast where we tackle the crossroads of faith and finance. I'm Shay Cook, an Accredited Financial Counselor, and the CEO and founder of Crusaders for Change LLC.

Vanessa:

And I'm Vanessa McNelley, Accredited Financial Counselor and COO of Crusaders for Change. Join us on our journey as we discuss topics like tithing saving and conquering debt through religious perspectives. Let's get started.

Shay:

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Yahweh's Money. Hey, Vanessa, how are you today? I am good. Shay, how are you? I'm good. I'm feeling really good, especially about this topic. Here we deal with a lot of people that have fear of missing out FOMO. How many times have we heard that?

Shay:

Oh, my God Over and over, again, over and over but we're going to talk about no FOMO here, so ever feel like you're sprinting after success, only to wonder if you're missing the real prize. Today, Vanessa and I are talking about why true happiness isn't about bling or success, but about being a cheerful giver and finding contentment in the things that truly matter. We're going to explore how God's plan for us goes beyond the glittering allure of possessions and success. So buckle up and get ready to discover the joy of missing out on what you don't need. Wow, Vanessa, I'm going to stop right there for a moment, because that's a lot.

Vanessa:

That is a lot, and I think that last statement missing out on what you don't need that sums it up. I think we're done.

Shay:

I know I mean really, like, really, it's a lot to discover.

Shay:

A lot of people don't understand that and we're here to teach them that today, exactly. And you know, in the word, and the bible has a lot to say about the pursuit of possessions and money, often emphasizing that we can lead to spiritual, or that they can lead to spiritual pitfalls if not approached with the right attitude. Instead, we should place a priority on spiritual wealth over material wealth. So in Matthew 6, 19 through 21, it states do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy and where thieves break in and still, but store up for yourselves treasures and heaven where moths and vermin do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and still. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Shay:

Every time I see this scripture, I focus on that last sentence, for where your treasure is, that is where your heart will be also. So if you treasure money and materials and whatever that may be, those materialistic things, that's where your heart is people. But if you have values like family and you know love and kindness, that is where your treasure is. So I think that's beautiful.

Vanessa:

Oh yeah, yeah, I'll tell you two things that come to mind with. That is, I think, about Lord of the Rings, of course, my precious right Like kind of hoarding and holding on to things, and the show Hoarders, oh yeah. Right and how people really just kind of hoarding and holding onto things and the show hoarders, oh yeah, right, and how people really just kind of they, they kind of fall in love with their things even though they have been eaten up by vermin and destroyed.

Vanessa:

So those just kind of come to mind at first. I love that, yes, and especially.

Shay:

I'm a Lord of Rings fan and how people and especially with the new Lord of Rings series on Amazon right now I love that, especially the second season right now is amazing, and how the elves and the man and all these people are fighting over these rings and they're putting their heart in this treasure. It's like, yeah, the rings have a lot of power, but there's something better and bigger than that, exactly. Yeah, that's good.

Vanessa:

And I think with material success, a lot of times that's good, exactly, and you know, and I think with material success, a lot of times it's a mirage. I don't know about you, but I think when we have these selfish pursuits you know money, success, you know things it can set us up for disappointments and stress. I don't know about you, but anytime I've tried to get something that's kind of out of reach, there is all this stress that comes with that, because it's like, okay, well, how am I going to pay for it? You know how long is it going to take me to get there where I need to be to have enough for that? Or you have it and it breaks down quicker than it should. But there's always this disappointment and I feel like you're always kind of longing for more. You're never satisfied or happy with what you have at that moment. I mean, have you been that way?

Shay:

Yeah, of course, and I think what comes to mind is about the journey.

Shay:

We don't focus on the steps that it takes to get to that money or that success, and then we don't enjoy it when we have it.

Shay:

You know, it's like you said for me I'm gonna speak from on my behalf, because I'm the only person I can really speak on is, you know, I'll obtain that success, I'll make the money that I had, goal wise or whatever and then I'm like all right, I can make more, I can do this, instead of like sitting back first giving honor to god and thanking, being grateful for it, um, and then being that cheerful giver is our intro stated and being focused more on that instead of the you get, you get greedy, like it's a greed that starts to starts to come on board when you're like, ooh, yay, you know my precious, you know, like from Lord of the Rings, like, ooh, I want the ring, but I also want the power and I want the money and I want this, and it's like it just builds that in you.

Shay:

And I'm sure God did that for a reason, because we're human. But if you're constantly focused on that, you're not focused on God, you're not focused on self, you're not focused on family and friends and people and kindness and giving and, yeah, it could just be the death of you, like seriously.

Vanessa:

Yeah, and it can lead to a shallow sense of fulfillment and I think we've met people who kind of use their, their things and their successes to define who they are. You know somebody who you sit down and they're telling you about their, their big house, or they're telling you about you know their awesome car that they have, and it's like I asked how you were doing.

Vanessa:

I want to know about you and how things are going, but all you're doing is telling me about these things, these things, and to me, things do not define a person, not at all. So it's like how do we get away from this, this sense of fulfillment? And it never feels like it's enough, and that's what materialism is it's never feeling like you have enough.

Shay:

I know, and the word here in the notes. It talks about how this wanting possessions and money just starts to control you. That's what we're talking about. The control it starts to take over you and God doesn't want that. God doesn't want that to control you or your heart, you know. I mean, if it's getting to that point, you need to get rid of that stuff, Right? I mean it's just too much, yeah.

Vanessa:

Well, and we can miss out on God's message because we're focused on other things. And if we're focused on, you know, these beautiful outfits, or waiting in line for the new iPhone, or whatever it might be, we can really miss out on some good things that he has in store for us.

Vanessa:

Yeah, so true, so true, so true you know, and I think we miss out on happiness and contentment that comes from within, and it really doesn't depend on these achievements that we have, and there's just, there's so much that we are looking outwardly for when we should be looking within, and it's just, it's a hard situation to be in, it really is. You know, I just it's a hard situation to be in, it really is.

Shay:

You know, I feel like there's a high that comes with it when you're chasing the money and the success. I know for at least seven years probably with my time working at the Coast Guard, when I was like, oh, my husband's finally out in the military and even beyond that with the army. When I started there I was a GS, uh, whatever, it was 11 at the time and then I moved up to 12, 13, 14, like within four years. I like people's like, oh my god, how do you feel you moved up so fast? And to me it was like a high. I was chasing a high.

Shay:

I was addicted to the success and to the promotions and to the money and I I mean I feel like I lost prime years of my life because I was in my late 20s, 30s, focused on trying to make up for lost time quote unquote when my husband and I were traveling around, when he was in the military. I was so focused on that. When we got back to Maryland he retired, I was just like, oh my God, I got to focus on this and I was high off of that success. I was wanting, I was feening like and I, you know, for those drug addicts out there. I know this is like that, but there is just an analogy, right. It's just I was feening for that success, like I needed that hit every six months, every year, and it was.

Shay:

It was. It was detrimental to me spiritually, mentally and physically, um, and I had to really do a lot of work after I got out of that mindset to reset, to reestablish my relationship with God and the control give it back over to him, because I was so focused. I mean, I guess that's what that mirage is right. When you smoke weed you get like that mir, I don't know I smoke it, but you know you get that mirage of what Whoa, like you know that high. Oh my God, like what is going on here. It's a temporary thing, yeah, yeah.

Vanessa:

Happiness and just being invincible. And I think that's the big part of this is we have that feeling and it's like we feel like, okay, we are on top of the world, but guess what? You know, we can go higher and we can get higher, we can get higher, and I think you're right, we get higher, but also higher, like that means to win, exactly, exactly, so you're always having more.

Shay:

You have to have more and more and more to have that same more and more to have that same baseline feeling, but then you forget about what's important, your family, yourself, like it's just like people are like, oh, she cares about his money and who they think they are. You get started to get that judgment coming in and, yeah, it's just gets ugly, yeah.

Vanessa:

And I think sometimes we forget that it's okay to have nice things. Yes, and God wants us to have fun and to have pleasure in our lives and all these things.

Vanessa:

He wants those things for us, those are gifts from him, but we have to know how to do them in a way that's honoring him and understand that freedom and joy comes from realizing that those things don't come from things and you know relationships here on earth. We have to embrace more and and kind of understand that we need to be grateful for all of these things and thank him for these things and realize they're coming from him. And if we can do that, I think that is the first step to realizing it's not here, it's there where we want to be Exactly.

Shay:

I agree with that. You know, in this fear of missing out, it's a real thing, you see it everywhere. But I think we need to be more focused on cheerful giving, right the selfless or selfless giving can bring a deeper sense of joy and satisfaction than receiving. I know I just I love. I mean I have to give it to my parents. They both serve in different ways, whether it was the military, my dad, girl Scouts, church, even with my mom dad, church as well, like they've always been in service of others and man, the.

Shay:

I love giving to people, even if it's just as simple as we're cleaning out our house every three months Cause I don't like the hoard stuff and I'm going to give it to a charity or to a purple heart or wherever goodwill, it doesn't matter. Um, because I'm, but I always make sure my stuff is in still good quality, but I don't need it anymore. So let's bless somebody else, or I'm contributing to church or whatever way I am, or just a friend needs something. Whatever it may be, it's just the giving. It just gives you such a. It's just a. That's another high, but that's a good high.

Vanessa:

Exactly. You know and I know you and I both have good examples of this. You know, I always talk about my grandpa and that is his joy in life and I say often, when people don't want to accept things, I'm like, don't take away his joy. That is his joy in life and you can just see him light up with this. Just, it's amazing to see his face. He's able to do something for someone and that is his high, but he's doing it in a way that honors God and he's doing it for God, because God has done so much for him, so he's able to do this. So we need to be able to recognize those things and see that. You know, we can get those feelings and get more of those feelings and better feelings if we follow him versus following materialism.

Shay:

Amen and, like I was kind of already saying, like selfless giving could be your time, your energy, your money, whatever way it is, if you're giving away and not if there's no selfishness attached to it, it ain't about you, it's about serving others, you know, and our wants are just really false interpretations of happiness. Like let's focus on our needs and you know it's okay to want some things. You know you want a nice ring, you want a nice this. That you know. But going back to the giving, is this? It's really important. It just gives people a sense of community and purpose.

Vanessa:

It does, yeah, and I think something too we need to think about is what we're consuming out there too, like are we watching the Kardashians? Are we watching the Real House Lives? I know, when I watch the Kardashians, I feel worse about myself.

Shay:

Oh, my God.

Vanessa:

And I feel like, oh, I need better makeup and I need to buy some skims and I need to, you know, suck it in and do these things and have a nice car. And I feel like I need more things to to meet that expectation and that standard and I'm always comparing myself, because Kim Kardashian and I are the same age, and I'm like, oh you know, if only I had what she had.

Shay:

I look like she does.

Vanessa:

But you know, that's not what we're supposed to be doing. We're not supposed to be comparing or wanting what others have or all these things, and it's like if you're around that constantly, I think you're going to have more of that mindset of I need, I need, I need.

Shay:

Yeah, my people are Beyonce and JLo, who are gorgeous. I mean to me is, and I hate it because I love Beyonce, beyonce humble and all that. I believe I don't know, but it's more Jennifer Lopez's body, oh my god, like I don't know. I've just been a fan and a girl crush on that woman for a long time, like her, and I don't like the way she's treating men and Ben Affleck, I'm just saying, but I don't know about it, but still she's just a beautiful woman. I'll be like dang man. She's just saying I know she got a lot of money and resources to keep her body looking like that, but obviously she got some good genes too.

Shay:

But that's how I'm, like I can't watch Jennifer Lopez too much. I'd be like I'd be feeling bad about myself, so bad about myself. So I'm just saying, yeah, but we watch these things and we see these things and it makes us want more. Yeah, exactly yeah. It makes you feel bad, like I don't want to do that. It does, it does. And you know, really we need to make sure that our giving and what we're doing in life closely aligns with our spiritual teachings and what we're learning.

Shay:

Even if you're not spiritual or religious, you know the word is.

Shay:

I mean, I'm sorry, I always try to be open to everybody, whatever text you're reading, whatever religious beliefs you have, but the word and Christianity is really where it's at people.

Shay:

I'm saying, I know I'm biased, but oh my God, it's so many stories Like and you can get it in so many different versions of like, and I know it's like centuries stories like and you can get it in so many different versions of like, and I know it's like centuries ago, but it really applies to today. And I'm telling you just the way and the power of God, if I read the word every day, every other week, every other month, every other year, it always applies to my situation. So I just love when I open up the word and I'm reading something, even if it's just like our text today in Matthew six, jesus teaching about money. That applies to 2024, 2020, 60, whatever, 2063, 3075, whatever. It always applies to what's going on. And so I say all that to say cheerful giving, oh my God, can really align with your spiritual teachings and really just make you feel good, just feel so good.

Vanessa:

Exactly, and it's nice to have those examples of what will happen if you do and what will happen if you don't, or what could happen if you do yeah, exactly. Yeah, and I think we always need to remember you know, god is going to provide, he's going to give us the things that we need. We need to trust that God will provide for our needs, and it may not be the way you expect it to that part.

Vanessa:

But he is going to provide for us, and I think a lot of people have this mentality of I'm going to, I'm going to pray and then I'm going to give it, give it up to God and I'm going to sit back and wait. But I feel like we still have to put work into it. We still have to be open to receive those blessings, whatever they may be, because if we're looking for one specific thing, we might be missing all these other things around us that would be better for us in the long run because we are sitting there waiting on the one thing or we feel like we're just supposed to sit back and let it happen.

Vanessa:

You know, I have a good example of this. It doesn't really have to do with money, but it has to do with health. Um, my uncle had a prostate cancer when, probably 15 years ago and he very religious man, very strict, you know no television, a wife, wore dresses, no makeup, girls didn't cut their hair Um, he ended up with cancer and he went and had a conversation with my grandfather about receiving treatment for cancer. And my grandfather was like, well, yeah, I had cancer and I had treatment. And here I am, 15 years down the road. You wouldn't even know I had cancer.

Vanessa:

And my uncle thought that if you believed and you just sat back and let God do his work which does happen it does happen that he would be healed and that giving in and seeking help was giving into the devil. And my grandfather was like, no, god gave us doctors, god gave us medication, he gave us different ways to be healed and ultimately my uncle passed away from a curable cancer. But I think sometimes we're so focused on that one way that we're told that we can't see the others. Maybe the blessing in all of that was he was supposed to be there for other people going through the same thing, or for those doctors or nurses, but instead, you know he sat back and waited and fortunately you know he left back and waited and fortunately you know he left, which was God's plan, I'm sure, for him in this life. But we need to be open to these other things we do.

Shay:

God helps those that help themselves. I really believe God is still in the miracle business, but they don't come as often. So even if you read the word people, miracles happen, but they weren't happening in every text, every cent, every month, every day. Right, we have to do the work. We have to believe. I believe that god created doctors and medicine and spiritual healing and all these different things western eastern medicine, whatever you believe in, there is a, there is a way and you need to search and going back to like you saying, like with you know you can pray on something, but you can't. Just there's not there. Again, there's prayer. I mean there's. There's miracles. You can pray and then just sit and then something may happen, but I say, 99.9% of the time you got to be doing something in between the pray and you getting the thing happening, like I would think I was telling you.

Shay:

We were talking about this the other day. You know I had wrote down in my personal goals that I wanted to buy a house by 2023. And that was years ago. And I was updating my goals recently because after the pandemic or even during the pandemic, I wasn't updating my personal goals as often, because I just felt like we were in a standstill. So in this week I felt motivated to finally go back to my personal goals, update some things, and I was like, oh, wow, I had wrote it down and make it plain. That's in the Bible. Y'all Wrote it down, made it plain.

Shay:

But I worked, me and my husband saved, we did all kinds of things to prepare for this house in 2023. And the catalyst was, unfortunately, our dog dying, but God knew that my dog Titan dying in 2020, uh, I guess that was two us moving forward with buying a house was going to happen, and it did in 2023, you know. So it was like, wow, we did the work and we were blessed and we accomplished this goal. And it was just a beautiful thing. And it wasn't just me like, all right, let me write it down, pray and just keep it moving. Nah, we worked, we did what we had to do and then, as the spirit moved us after our dog died, that part of it was us obeying the spirit. So it's that piece of it, too, that a lot of people don't do. God will give you the visions, the move, the push, the motivation and if you're like, whatever, lord and I've been there. I've been like whatever Lord, I ain't got time for you right now. No, you need to be obedient.

Vanessa:

Okay. So, yeah, there's a lot to go through. That Well, exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know we can enjoy things, but the meaning and the love and the joy and the things that really matter need to come from those connections.

Shay:

I agree those connections, but to me, the ultimate connection and going back to the house story with God I think, even though we saved God, we try to sell that house on multiple occasions over the 15 years we were there. But 2022, after Titan dying, us being obedient to him and waiting and being still in the Lord, but also looking and doing our work offered us the opportunity to sell a home for almost 200,000 more than what we thought we were going to get for it. And to me, that is me being me and my husband, our husband and I being obedient because we tried. You know we could have sold that house if we really pushed, but every time he gave us, we try to. We put the house on that market three times before the fourth and we was like man, we ain't never going to get out of here. But Nate was like no, let's hold on and even I'll go even a little deeper and share, even be a little more transparent. My husband at one time was like, no, we need to focus on repairing or building this relationship before we move into and buy another home. So that was being obedient to my marriage as well and to God. And so by being obedient to God and to my husband and to the marriage. That was the blessing so to me, that spiritual growth and those meaningful connections with my husband, putting that over a material pursuit, was allowed us to have more, to prosper, and so I love that. It's just the beauty of it all. God is beautiful, I agree. I agree completely. And you know, faith can alleviate the fear of missing out on success and money. Oh, my God, that part because I have.

Shay:

I shared with Vanessa recently. She was the only person Nate, forgive me if you even listen I don't even know if you listen to me always buddy, but I know I haven't shared with him. The other day I was just God. God was like you need to say out loud your fears. And I told Vanessa the other day, I was like I started just saying all of my fears out loud and he was like hello, faith, faith can alleviate, alleviate, eliminate this fear.

Shay:

You know the fear of missing out, the fear, whatever the fear, fear comes from, and I was like no wonder I have anxieties. I had like five, six, seven pages worth of fears. I didn't write it down because I said it out loud, but still, when I started listing them out loud. I was like, oh my God, and I know so many of us out here are dealing in fear every single day, to the point that people are committing suicide because they are afraid. And so faith, people, faith is where it's at. For your money, for your family, for your professional, personalized faith is where it's at. I'm like preaching over here. I'm sorry.

Vanessa:

No, no, but it's so true.

Vanessa:

And fear was created by the devil, in my opinion to keep us down so that we don't achieve those goals that God has set for us, and it's a way to kind of hold us back and make us rethink things and think, okay, well, I'm not good enough, or they're only going to like me if I have this or whatever those things are. So if we can get through the fear and just know, you know what it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay, it's going to be fine, I'm going to have enough. I may not have everything I want in life, but I'm going to have enough and so many good things can come from enough Exactly, and from that faith it comes your values.

Shay:

Think about what you truly value in life and then align your actions with your spiritual goals. I mean go from your values. I value family, I value travel, I value taking care of people, whatever you value, hopefully it's positive, because then you need to go and reassess that even more. But what you value in life, I mean you align your actions and then you'll with your spiritual goals. Then you will prosper.

Vanessa:

Exactly, Exactly, and think about this. I mean, people say this all the time, but when you are done here in this life, you are not going to say, oh, I wish I had a bigger house or more cars. You're going to say I wish I had more time with my grandchildren or I would have spent more time with my church family or whatever that is. It's always about those relationships that you missed out on. It's not about the things Wow, such a great episode.

Shay:

Any final thoughts, Vanessa?

Vanessa:

You know, I would just say the telltale sign that money can't buy happiness is true. Yeah, and just remember that it's all about balance with God. He wants us to have nice things, but he also wants us to remember where those good things come from. Amen.

Shay:

Yeah, and God is real, y'all. That's all I'm going to say. Thank you for another great episode, Vanessa. Yeah, god is real. Have a great day everyone. A big thank you for listening to this episode. We hope you found today's chat about the intersection of religion and money insightful. We would love to hear your feedback. Hit that subscribe button or follow the podcast, and please feel free to leave us a review?

Vanessa:

Yes, and for the latest Yahweh's Money content, visit us at crusaders4change. org or find us anywhere you listen to podcasts. Until next time, stay financially fit and spiritually inspired.

Shay:

And remember it's always better Yahweh's way.

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