Ep010 Midlife Transformations: Uncovering Wisdom with Janet Zavala and 'The Nature of Transformation

Welcome to another episode of Create The Best Me, where we dive into midlife transformations and the powerful wisdom that comes with age. Today's guest is Janet Zavala, the author of "The Nature of Transformation." In this episode, we discuss breaking free from unhealthy patterns, the power of forgiveness, embracing authenticity, prioritizing self-care, and personal development.

• Introduction to Janet Zavala and her work as a transformational coach
• Breaking Free from Unhealthy Patterns: Learn how to identify and overcome the patterns that hold you back from living your best life.
• The Power of Forgiveness: Discover the healing power of forgiveness and how it can help you move forward.
• Embracing Authenticity: Understand the importance of being true to yourself and living authentically.
• Prioritizing Self-Care and Personal Development: Explore the benefits of focusing on self-care and personal growth.
• Janet's Upcoming Giveaways and Events: Learn about the exciting giveaways and events that Janet has planned, including workshops, signed books, and free coaching sessions.
• Conclusion and how to connect with Janet Zavala

📨 Newsletter:

https://createthebestme.com/newsletter/

👀 Connect With Me:

Website: https://createthebestme.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/createthebestme

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carmenhecox/

TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@carmenhecox
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@createthebestme

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/carmen-hecox

📽️ Video Request:

https://forms.office.com/r/LvLV1AsBfv

Transcript

Carmen Hecox: 0:00

Welcome to Create the Best Me. I am Carmen Hecox, a personal development coach, and I am so excited to be connecting with you today. Whether you're listening to the podcast or joining us on YouTube, my goal is to help women navigate through midlife challenges with compassion, inspiration, and empowering conversations. Each week we'll dive into thought-provoking topics, designed to build self-confidence, overcome invisible women's syndrome, and find the courage to create the best version of yourself. I'll also be joined by expert guest who will share the wisdom and insights, so make yourself comfortable and let's embark on this journey together. Well, hello there, fearless midlife trailblazers! If you are new here to the show, welcome. I'm so thrilled to have you join us. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button so you don't miss out on any episodes. If you're returning listener, welcome back to Create The Best Me, where we encourage and empower midlife women to pursue their dreams and live their life to their fullest potential. I am Carmen Hecox, your host and personal development coach, and today we have the incredible Janet Zavala, bestselling author, midlife mentor, and transformational life coach joining us! Janet recently launched her inspiring book, The Nature of Transformation, and she can't wait to share the story behind it as we'll dive deeper into exclusive teachings found within the pages. Be sure to stay with us through the entire episode because Janet has some fantastic gifts just for you, our cherished listeners. So, settle in and let's jump into today's episode together. Hello and welcome back Janet Zavala to the show. I am so excited to have you on.

Janet Zavala: 1:57

I am so excited to be here. This is so much fun. I think we should do this like every week.

Carmen Hecox: 2:02

We should, we should. You know what? And the audience just absolutely loves you. So, we might have to do that.

Janet Zavala: 2:08

Great.

Carmen Hecox: 2:10

So, the reason why I have you on this show this time, well, before we go into that, Janet, for the people that maybe did not listen to episode 004, of createthebestme.com/ep004 tell the audience who you are.

Janet Zavala: 2:28

I am Janet Zavala, I'm a transformational life coach, focusing on being a midlife mentor for those women in the age group where they're looking to transform their lives and really reinvent themselves. So really guiding women through that process from where they are to being empowered and living their dreams and going after what they want in life, and using those skills and abilities that we've developed and honed all of this time in the most impactful way that they can. So, working with women in midlife is really my passion in helping women, bring their greatness to the world. And also, I am a bestselling author of the Nature of Transformation.

Carmen Hecox: 3:13

Yay. I have my copy, and I must say, Janet, I could not put this down. I read it on the plane on my way. I was on vacation a couple weeks ago, and I read it while I was on the plane, and I read it while I was on the beach. Believe it or not, I mean, most people would sit there and say, you're crazy. Take in that beautiful beach. But I could not put this book down and, uh, highlighted it and I told myself, I need to have Janet on the show. There's so much goodness in here. I mean, this is like having, or this is just my little personal opinion, for whatever value that has. But this book is like having a personal coach in your hands. Because you go through a bunch of little nuggets of challenges that people could go through and you go through step by step and breathing or meditation exercises and oils and just so much value in such a small book. To imagine, people can have you instead of the book,

Janet Zavala: 4:19

Oh,

Carmen Hecox: 4:21

You know, by going to janetzavalacoaching.com

Janet Zavala: 4:25

That's right. That's right.

Carmen Hecox: 4:26

So, Janet, the title of the book, the Nature of Transformation, what does that mean to you?

Janet Zavala: 4:34

I have always been a nature lover. I am just so fascinated by nature and its transformation and its adaptability. And then of course, like I said, I've always kind of inspired by people's transformations and looking at the transformation of life that we must. All undergo and just kind of melding those two and seeing the similarities in nature's transformation along with our human transformation. You know, there's no way to get around the requirement of transformation and change in our lives. It's going to happen, you know, and nature does it so seemingly effortlessly that it transforms, and we have to transform as well. And I think that transformation comes with a lot of fear and anticipation of loss and losing things. But I want people to understand that it can be an exciting time. It can be something that we look forward to, and it's something that's required. And if you resist the transformation often, that is where the discomfort and the pain lies. So, easing into your transformation and understanding it's a natural part of life. So that's kind of the, um, where the title, the Nature of Transformation came from.

Carmen Hecox: 5:48

So, tell me what inspired you to write such an amazing jewel here.

Janet Zavala: 5:53

Oh, thank you so much. You know, I, I was inspired by my own journey, my own transformation, and also the transformation and the journey that I hear from a lot of the clients and a lot of the women I speak to and we all experience. I haven't met a woman who hasn't, but I'm sure there, there might be somebody out there in your audience who hasn't felt this yet, but that nagging feeling that time in their lives where they've kind of met all the expectations that they were supposed to. They've done any combination of going to school, getting degrees, starting their career, having children, they've taken care of parents and children, and now they're sitting in this time of their lives. And there might be a sense of unmet expectations, unfulfilled ambitions, and it is kind of like a nagging feeling, like the, sometimes you can't articulate it and you don't know what it is, and you feel the sense of maybe a little bit of dissatisfaction. Not that you're unhappy with the life that you built, but you're looking at what else is there? What more meaning can I glean from life? And how can I take the things that I've learned, the things that I've developed, and the skills that I have, and now turn them into an empowering, way to approach life and try new things so that, that was probably the major inspiration. But like you said, I wanted to create a comprehensive life coaching system. Something that took you from all aspects of your life, mind, body, and spirit. So, if you're feeling challenged in any of the areas, it's kind of evergreen, right? You might be able to go back to it, you know, in a couple years and go, oh, I'm struggling in this area. And go back to that. You might have been okay, previously, but now you have this system that you can go back to say, okay, how do I evaluate what's keeping me stuck and how do I move past those barriers to heal and be more at ease with yourself. So that is, that was the inspiration for writing the book, really to be able to provide a coaching resource that I use with my clients to people who, who might be reticent or not yet ready for the coaching process to have this in their hands.

Carmen Hecox: 8:12

This is such an amazing treasure that you're putting out in the world. I must say, Janet,

Janet Zavala: 8:18

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Carmen Hecox: 8:20

When I read this book, you shared a lot of your childhood and adult trauma.

Janet Zavala: 8:25

Hmm.

Carmen Hecox: 8:25

Can I ask why you were so vulnerable to share this experiences with your readers?

Janet Zavala: 8:34

Sure. So, when I wrote it out as, A healing mechanism for myself, right? I found myself at a certain point in my life where these things had happened, these things I had gone through all of these challenges that I write about in the book, but I was still holding on to some of those remnants. I was still holding onto some of the negative beliefs and negative thought patterns, and just feelings of not being worthy. So, I'm still holding on to the effects of the trauma. So, I really did it as a therapeutic type of activity to get through some of that stuff. And I think that's why writing is so powerful, writing it down. You certainly don't need to publish in a book. I don't think that when I wrote it, I anticipated putting it in a book. I was really doing it for my own healing. But I also found when I wrote it that there were linkages between what happened and the behaviors that I had, and that really helps you identify. Why you still hold onto some of these negative beliefs that you have, and understanding the source helps you deconstruct it and kind of purge yourself of those beliefs. So, you know it. But the most important thing that I found when I wrote this out is that by going through these experiences, you know, it created weaknesses and fears and challenges. But these experiences created strengths in me that I hadn't really owned or tapped into. You know, it, the, these experiences that I had are a direct reason why I coach people and coach women, and the reason why I write, because I can take those experiences and what I learned and put them out into the world in a helpful, hopefully helpful. And, um, Therapeutic way for other people. So, by owning your strengths, you're also starting to deconstruct the hold that those negative experiences had on you, that you can shift your perspective from the negative things that came out of it to the positive things that you have. So I, I think that was really why I wanted to show and tell the reader my experiences so they can tap into their own vulnerability as well. And then the last thing I'll say is that, when we hold onto these experiences and we don't express them, sometimes there's a lot of shame in that we hold onto a lot of shame and we think, what was it about me? Or how did I cause these things? And the shame is the killer of everything good. And, if you read any of Brene Brown's books, we know a lot about shame and how it's just such a detrimental feeling that we can have. So, I wanted to make sure that people understood that there's no shame in our experiences. It's how we learn from them. It's how we evolve from them and how we transform our lives.

Carmen Hecox: 11:27

Exactly. Yeah. And I know, there was a section in the book where you talked about unhealthy patterns and self-esteem. Can you talk more about why people fall into these traps of living solely to make others happy?

Janet Zavala: 11:42

Yeah, I think it's a complicated issue and I think that for everybody it might be, the source might be a little bit different as to why they focus on other people's happiness rather than their own. And for me it was a trauma response, right? It was a trauma response because I witnessed a lot of bad behavior and trauma activities when I was younger. And so, it was something that I gravitated to, right? You gravitate towards the things that you need to heal in your life. So, I really gravitated towards that. And I think that another thing for me is that I've probably been a coach in training, and a healer my whole life. But before I was able to heal myself, it was expressed in an unhealthy way, right? It, it was an attachment to people who had gone through things when I wasn't able to help them because I hadn't helped myself. So, it's really this unhealthy attachment. So, I'll be really vulnerable here. I think that another reason why I focused on other people's issues and trying to make them happy was it was a way for me to avoid my own healing. It was a way for me to defer the work that I needed to do on myself and another kind of inherited trait that I've been working towards my whole life and deconstructing is kind of that martyr, type of, approach to life. You know, my mom often had some martyr, personality traits and, I used to show up when I was unhealed through this, is that I would focus on other people's hurt rather than my own. So, it would make me feel better about myself. So, it's all really a trauma response, but as I write in the book, everybody's healing journey is their own. You can't take responsibility or make other people happy. It's a solo sport. We need to do it ourselves.

Carmen Hecox: 13:52

Yes. And I know in the book you also talked about playing small. How does plain small in one's life, either to make others feel better about themselves due to lack of self-worth, impact your own self-esteem? What steps can be taken to ensure that one's treatment of themselves is consistent with their treatment of others?

Janet Zavala: 14:15

Yeah, I think people play small in their lives and they don't take the chance and they, don't make themselves a priority because it's often familiar. Right. It's typical, it's familiar and it's safe, right? Because when you have to step out and when you have to use your voice or take action to be a little bit more out front and visible, it feels risky. It feels vulnerable. We've talked about vulnerability. Like it's hard to have that attention on you and to take a chance. So, I think that playing small is, it will never result in kind of a satisfying life, right? Because you are abdicating everything about yourself to fit into a mold or to fit into a pattern, or to make somebody else happy. It's just always going to feel dissatisfying. So, I think some of the things that you can do is own your own strength and your own ambition, right? I think especially for women, I think this is a message that women get a lot, is that if you say, I'm a good coach and I'm a good writer, that doesn't make me arrogant. It doesn't imply that I'm better than anybody else, but I'm owning my strengths. So, I think that it's a process, right? If you had asked me two years ago or three years ago to have said that I probably couldn't have said that, right? But it's a process over time to own your strengths, step into what you're good at, clearly identify them. That's a theme throughout the book that I have is that I want people to really own their strengths. It doesn't make you arrogant. So, and I think that we need to make sure when we're working on self-esteem, that our treatment of others is, consistent with how we would want to be treated and how we would want our children to be treated. I am reminded of a chapter in Glennon Doyle's book,"Untamed." I loved what she said in that book when she was contemplating if she should end her marriage, and she thought about her daughters and she thought, would I want this life, this half-lived life, this life of, unsatisfaction this life of not feeling that true love? Would she want that life for her daughter? So, we tend to accept a life for ourselves that we wouldn't want for somebody who is closest to us that we love most. So, whether you have children or your closest person. So, I think that's something to think about when you're thinking about the quality of your life and how you're showing up into life and as your authentic self. Would you give that same advice of how you're living your life to your child?

Carmen Hecox: 17:06

Something interesting to think about.

Janet Zavala: 17:08

Mm-hmm.

Carmen Hecox: 17:09

I'm gonna quote a section of the book that I really liked, and I'll do that a couple times. If you have ventured away from your comfort zone, your self-confidence may not be high, but your self-esteem could remain consistent. Just keep plugging along, get some wins under your belt. I think you pretty much covered that in what you just said.

Janet Zavala: 17:33

Yeah. Yeah, and I think that it's important to understand for everybody to understand that confidence doesn't show up. It's built over time. So, you can probably talk about the first time you did your first podcast, you probably didn't feel confident, right No. you don't feel confident, but you do it anyways. Right? But your self-esteem is intact, right? Because your self-esteem is not built on the outcome of whatever you do, right? If you have strong self-esteem, it shouldn't be contingent on a certain outcome, but self-confidence comes over time. I've developed my self-confidence over time. My confidence as a writer, my confidence as a coach, I've certainly not been confident, this whole time none of us are. So even when you see people who show up and they look super confident, understand that they've either done it hundreds of times before, so they're able to have that confidence now, or they're just really good at masking it or they've practiced or, all of those things. But I want people to understand that trying something new, you're never gonna feel confident out of the gate.

Carmen Hecox: 18:41

Yeah, or like some people say fake it till you make it.

Janet Zavala: 18:44

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Carmen Hecox: 18:47

In your book you talked a lot about forgiveness, resilience, and authenticity. Can you discuss the interconnections of forgiveness, resilience, and authentic growth, particularly in the context of your journey with your mother? How letting go of anger and embracing change can contribute to one's personal transformation.

Janet Zavala: 19:11

Sure, of course. And I wrote about the resiliency formula of forgiveness, acceptance, and service. But I knew that a certain point in my life, I realized that I was still holding on to anger and a lot of resentment in my mind, body, and spirit. It was just, all throughout that I had realized the need to evolve past that, I couldn't hold onto that anymore. It was really, and something that I've said throughout my life when I've been in a situation that hasn't been particularly good, that hasn't been particularly healthy, that it's changing the person that I am. So, when I cannot show up authentically because I'm holding onto so much anger and resentment, that's when I know I need to do some work. I need to change something because that angry, resentful person is not the person that I am naturally or who I want to be and continue throughout my life. Cuz it's just an ugly feeling. So, I write about forgiveness and, I was concerned writing about forgiveness because everybody's forgiveness journey is different and I don't want to be so brazen as to say that everybody has to forgive, right? Because it's a difficult process. So, I, I used to go to a yoga class where the yoga teacher used to say, as she was getting us into a new position, if it's available to you. So, practice forgiveness, if it's available to you, if it's right for you at this time, and hopefully you can get there overtime. But I don't want people to feel bad cuz I'm really vocal about not having toxic positivity where everybody just says, you need to do this and then if you can't do it, then you feel bad about yourself. I am really against kind of that approach to self-development. So, if forgiveness is available to you, it's understanding that and that's where acceptance comes in. So, the second piece of the resiliency formula is acceptance. So, what I mean by acceptance is that, if something was done to you, you need to start accepting that that behavior was not because of you. It was not something that you did. It was not something that you deserved. It wasn't because you were unlovable or unworthy, right? Somebody else was, enacting their own trauma responses onto you. So, they had experienced trauma, hurt people, hurt people, so you were the recipient of it. So, understanding that you weren't the cause of it, even if you were the recipient of it, and that you deserve to be happy and to be fulfilled even though these experiences happen to you and have caused discomfort and dis-ease within you. And so, the last piece of the resiliency formula is service. And that's kind of what I'm doing here. Probably what a lot of people are doing is that you experience something, and you turn it out to the world to help other people. So you take a piece of what you've learned and how you've grown and how you've developed and put it out to the world. So, there's a famous quote by Aung San Suu Kyi that says, if you're feeling helpless, help somebody. So, I think that this part of the resiliency formula is that if you cannot get to the point where you are able to forgive and you are working through the acceptance piece of it, help somebody, if you're feeling helpless, turn that out into the world and try to help somebody else. So, all of those steps will help you be resilient and start to heal yourself from the trauma experiences that you had in the past.

Carmen Hecox: 22:57

Here's another quote from the book. Without self-love and acceptance, how can you find someone to love you for who you truly are when you don't love who you truly are? Can you elaborate on that?

Janet Zavala: 23:11

Yeah, I, I write in the book that it, I think in my twenties and I'm not sure if it was the self-help catch phrase at the time that you need to love yourself before you love anybody else. And that really, in my twenties, that wasn't available to me. You know, it, that, that self-love piece, I didn't get it. I, I just really didn't understand it. And I think as I've gotten older and gone through the healing journey, is that I work on actively every day loving and accepting myself, right? And, and it's not, you don't arrive at loving yourself. Its love is an action, love is a practice. And when you are able to love yourself authentically for who you are. All of your strengths and all of your weaknesses and everything that you've been through, you are able to show up into the world more authentically. You're not trying to hide, you're not putting on a mask, you're not, showing a side of you that isn't authentically you because you just, you accept yourself. Self-acceptance is so important along this healing journey, and like I said, I think it is a continuum. It's a struggle for a lot of people and a lot of women and we get a lot of messages out there in the media and everywhere else that convinces us that there are a lot of things that we shouldn't love about ourselves, right? We need to change the way we look and the way we grow old, and the way we do our hair, and the way we dress, and the way we put on our makeup, and do all the things that feel good for you. But I think that when we absorb these messages, it really is detrimental. So, it really is a constant effort and constant work for us to show up authentically in this world. And I think that it's the way to go through your healing journey is to really accept everything about yourself.

Carmen Hecox: 25:08

I agree. Here's another quote from the book cuz I just can't stop quoting about the book. There's just so much good stuff in here. If you spend a lot of time with people who criticize you and others, you will never feel like you're showing up authentically.

Janet Zavala: 25:25

I think that sometimes if we're attracted to people who might be negative or critical, because it mirrors what we experienced throughout our lives, right? So, we just gravitate towards those people. But having that kind of negative criticism, throughout the world or through other people, it's really detrimental to our spirit. So, I think when you live in an environment that is full of critical treatment of others and of yourself, it's really important to identify the source and where those kind of behaviors came from. I'm always a proponent of developing awareness of where things come from so you can get to an understanding of why they're showing up for you in your life and deconstruct them. So, I know that for me, another vulnerability alert is that, when I've been most critical of others, it's because I see in them something that either I don't like about myself or I'm afraid of. Right? So, when we're critical of others, it is really showing our sense of fear and a sense of self-worth that is pretty low, right? We're feeling a low sense of self-worth, so we're criticizing others and I believe that if you are, sitting in a place where you're surrounding yourself with critical people and they're critical of you and you're critical of others, it really has this effect on your self-esteem that is detrimental. You really need to find your tribe that is supportive and building you up and lifting you up and showing you how amazing you are because I don't think that criticism is good for helping you improve in your life. I used to know somebody who was like, oh, I like tough love, tell me how it is, and tell me, in a rough way. And I'm like, I know and as a leader in corporate America for 30 some years, is that people do their best when they feel good about themselves. So, you will do your best when you feel good about yourself, and you won't feel good about yourself. If you're criticizing other people, you will not feel good about yourself if other people are criticizing you. If you are not setting up that boundary to not take on other people's criticism, then I think that your self-esteem will have a hard time recovering from that. So, distancing yourself from that pattern is so important to your healing.

Carmen Hecox: 28:07

Good point. Yes. And your book also talked about self-care and personal development. How can women in midlife overcome the feeling of guilt related to self-care, personal development? And why is it critical to embrace these aspects in our life to pursue our hopes and dreams?

Janet Zavala: 28:29

I'm not sure where the guilt comes from. I'm not sure who it comes from. I think that oftentimes we live in an either-or world when it's a both and right. We can take care of our families and meet our obligations and practice self-care. So, I think that, if we are stuck in some sort of, martyrdom that makes it seem like we are forever providing to others and not accepting ourselves, I think that is a dangerous pattern to be in. But I think that feeling the guilt is really detrimental and it will not serve. I think sometimes we're also looking for people to come in going, no, it's okay, cuz we're looking for validation as well. So, I think that guilt is a very dangerous component of self-care and self-love. So, whether it's self-imposed where you're thinking that you shouldn't be doing this because you have other obligations to meet, or if somebody is putting this kind of pressure on you that you need to prioritize their version of what self-care is or their, expectations, then, somebody is being selfish in that scenario, and it's not you. They're asking you to prioritize their needs over your own, and it's the old saying is that you need to put the mask on yourself so you can show up the best version of you and do all the things that we need to do in life. All the work and all the caretaking and all the things that we do is that we need to make sure that we are fully functioning, fully rested people who can show up into the world, more effectively.

Carmen Hecox: 30:15

Yeah, and that's very true cuz I always tell my mom this cuz my mom's a widower. Mom, you need to take care of yourself because if you don't take care of yourself, nobody's gonna take care of you.

Janet Zavala: 30:25

Yeah. It is truly up to us. It is truly up to us, so making sure that we're focusing on that. I focus on my sleep. My sleep is one of my most important things that I focus on. Sleep is one of the top self-care things that you can do is to make sure that you are getting as much sleep as you can, getting really good restful sleep, seven to nine hours, I know that's hard for a lot of women, but make it a priority. I have a section in the book, and I talk about a quote from Sean Stevenson and Sleep Smarter, he says, you'll never, ever, ever have the life that you desire if you're not getting good sleep. So, Yeah, so I think all of, all of the things between self-development and take, taking care of your body and taking care of your spirituality and your mental health, all of those things are key components to be able to achieve what we want to achieve. Because we're talking mostly to and about midlife women who really have desires to do a lot of things in their lives. I know that we've talked, and we've got big ambitions that we, things that we want to do, and if we're don't have our self-care and self-development dialed in, and that if we're not focusing on that, we're not able to be effective in those things that we want to accomplish.

Carmen Hecox: 31:43

Exactly. And I just wanna plug in here, the reason why I tell my mom to take care of herself is cuz she lives 300 miles away from me. I don't want people to think you're a bad daughter, you should be taking care of your mom. But my mom is she's not as old as her age, says. My mom's hot.

Janet Zavala: 31:59

That's awesome. That's awesome.

Carmen Hecox: 32:01

Let's talk about an action plan and support. How can women in midlife effectively create a long-term action plan such as a five-year vision and can you break it down into manageable milestones? So that they can track their progress and so that they can achieve their personal and professional goals? I know you talked about that in the book.

Janet Zavala: 32:21

Yes. Yes, and in the book, I'm really into the spiritual side of things and the personal development and working through your limiting beliefs and your experiences and all those things. But the thing at the end of the book, it's like, okay, let's get to work, right? let's put this into play. We've kind of massaged and looked at all the things that are holding us back, but now let's start planning for the future. And the thing about making a vision for your future, developing a long-term vision is it really trains your brain for action. So, when you create this vision for where you want to be in five years, what do you want to accomplish? What kind of life do you want to live? When you train your brain to create a vision, you're also eliminating the focus that you are putting on kind of the negative aspects of your life. So, you're reprogramming your brain for positive thinking and future excitement and all those things. So, when you create a vision for your future, I want people to not be realistic. I don't want them to put logic to it. I want five years as a long enough period of time away that you can really state anything. So, if I had a five-year vision, like I want to be a New York Times bestselling author with three bestselling books. So that could be my five-year vision where, and then also that I am a keynote speaker at certain wellness events, right? So that could be my five-year vision. So that's what I want people to do. Do not put logic to it. Like really be aspirational, what they want to do, how they want to show up in the world and it really clarifies what you want as well. So, when things are just swimming around in your brain, there's no clarity around it. So, I really want people to develop that vision, that aspirational vision in five years without any sort of limitations on themselves. But then we look at, if I wanna achieve that in five years, where do I need to be in three years? Right? So now you're like, what are my goals for my three-year goals? Where do I wanna be in three years? So, developing your goals and identifying well, what skills and abilities do I need to have? And, just identifying all of those different things that I will have available as a free offer to this group. It'll be a visioning workbook, but it will be a five-year vision. You can't even see that. So, it'll be a five-year vision. It will identify three reasons why this is important for you to do this, and then the skills and abilities that you need to develop to get there. So, it not only provides this aspirational vision, but it provides a roadmap on how to get there. So, I have talked to a couple of people. I've done this exercise in front of hundreds of people and I've talked to people, just recently actually, and she's like, you know what, I was looking back at that vision that I did with you, and this was pre pandemic when we could all get together, and big groups and now we can again. But before that and, she's like, everything that I wrote down on that I've achieved. So, it's really effective, it's a really effective process to get clear about what you want, to develop that aspirational vision, and then get tactical on how you're going to get there. So that will be available for this audience and for anybody to get this workbook so you can work through it. And then by the end of May, I will be hosting a workshop where I'll be walking people through this process because one of the important pieces of this process is accountability. And I want people to incorporate accountability into their goal in visioning planning. I had, in order to publish this book, I had three methods of accountability that were critical in. Helping me achieve getting to this point of being a published author. I have a weekly accountability partner. I speak with her every week. Sometimes there are mastermind groups that you can be part of, but this was a dedicated accountability partner. We meet every week, and we talk about what we want to achieve in the next week. But we also provide each other grounding and reality checks when both of us are like, I have 50 things on my to-do list for the next week. And we're like, you're not gonna get it done, focus on three. We're often too hard on ourselves, and then when we get to that point, we're like, oh, I felt like I haven't done anything. And we also have that mirror back going, look at all that you've done, all that you've accomplished. So having that partner that is really helping you through it is so key. And then the second piece of accountability that I had was I hired a coach. I was dedicated to making my dream and vision come true. And this is where having an impartial coach, where somebody is trained to ask you those pointed questions and use their listening skills to identify where your blocks and all those internal fears that are coming out and preventing you from doing things. So that's where our coach is really trained to identify those things and help you bust through them. And then the other thing is that, through this visioning process and through delivering it to hundreds of people. I told people about my dream. I said, I'm going to publish a book. And you would be surprised at how many people came up to me after I published this book and said, I remember when you said that. I remember when you told me, and you did it. And so those are my three pieces of accountability. And so, I'll be providing information on the workbook that is free to everybody here who's listening, who wants to get that, through the link and everything that we provide.

Carmen Hecox: 38:10

Yeah, and I will make sure that all of the resources that you are going to, be giving away or have available are on my show notes. So, people don't worry about having to write things down. You don't have to write it down. You can go to my website and all of the notes will be there. Wow, that is so generous of you to do that. So, Janet, I know you probably, already uncovered this question, but just in case you didn't, what are you working on next?

Janet Zavala: 38:39

Sure. So, I'll be having the workshop in May, which I'm excited about. Then I'm also looking at developing more in-depth courses around the nature of transformation. I want to build this out into some more in-depth courses and workshops. So those will be, those are under development throughout the year. The best way to find out when things are released is to sign up for my email list at janetzavalacoaching.com. So, all of those things are coming up. I just love doing like, intimate groups and workshops and one-on-one coaching where I can really connect with somebody and really help them feel empowered. You know, that is where my true love lies, is working one-on-one with folks. and a whole bunch of things I'm working on, outlining my next book and making just more resources available to people so they can, start to uncover the power that they have and start living their best lives.

Carmen Hecox: 39:38

And I just wanted to add in here, you are a life coach or transformational coach, and you talked about in your action plan. Planning and support that even coaches need a coach.

Janet Zavala: 39:49

Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, just like therapists need therapists and doctors need doctors, right? I mean, we all need the support. And I think coaching can be used for a lot of different reasons. You don't need to be at a place where you're kind of rock bottom where you need to, get a coach. I was making pretty good progress with what I was doing, but I needed to fine tune some of the things that I was doing to make sure I accomplish my goal. So, coaches are good for where you are in a lot of stages of your life. If you're just kind of starting to go through that healing process and you're kind of wondering, what do I need to do with the rest of my life? Where am I gonna find the satisfaction? And things like that. Or if you're further down and you're like, I'm here, but I just need to make progress and go to that next level. So, I think that I'm a fan of the coaching process.

Carmen Hecox: 40:40

Yeah, and for some people that are kind of exploring the opportunity or flirting a little bit with the idea, do I need a coach? I've already seen a therapist before, or I don't believe in that stuff, I strongly recommend getting this book. Because there's so much good stuff in here that, like I said, you talk about, different, hurdles that we could be facing. And I, what I like about it is that you chip away at it. Maybe, maybe just very surface, because it's not like actually meeting with you one-on-one, and then going through the process, but you kind of chip away and it gives the reader a perspective of where to start to, chip away at that.

Janet Zavala: 41:25

Yeah, absolutely. I think it's all a process, right? I think that our healing journeys are all a process and that's why I wanted to write the book and provide this comprehensive look at people who have not gotten to that point where they want to hire a coach is that they can get this book and they can say, okay, let me go through this see how this can be beneficial. But really, it should be thought of as a tool to use. But also, if you need that extra support, you need that personal touch sounding board find yourself a coach, whether it's me or somebody else, like coaches are really effective in helping you drive progress in your life.

Carmen Hecox: 42:03

Yeah. And I heard that, um, you have a couple of copies of this book for particular people. Do you wanna share a little bit about that?

Janet Zavala: 42:12

For certain people people in the month of May, I am going to select five random winners of The Nature Of Transformation. I'll sign it for you, and I'll send it to you. So, sign up for my email list, so I can get your information and I will select five random winners and I will send you out a copy of the book with my signature on it.

Carmen Hecox: 42:33

Oh my gosh. That is like such a big giveaway. So, people, people listening, watching on YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform, tell anybody and everybody about what you heard on this recording and tell them to sign up. They need a free book. I thought you were doing something else with the workshop. I don't know, maybe a little birdie told me that There was some kind of like freebie with the workshop too.

Janet Zavala: 43:00

There, there was. Hmm. What were no. Yes. So, with the workshop that I'm going to be holding at the end of May, I will also have available and give away free coaching sessions through that. So, randomly I'll select winners to get free coaching sessions. So, stay tuned for that information. Really sign up for my email list that is the best way to get information. Also going to my social media pages. I promote and talk about these things there. So, Janet Zavala coaching, it's simple. It's Janet Zavala coaching wherever you go. So, go to all those places to find out more information. But if you really want to figure out if this coaching thing is for you, if it feels right, pick up a copy of the book, but also join the workshop and enter into, to win a free coaching session. Also, I wanna say that I have a 30-minute free session available for anybody who is first starting coaching No matter what, no matter what you get 30 minutes free. So, it's an assessment that, we figure out if this is a right relationship because just like with therapists or doctors, you need to figure out if that relationship is beneficial and works for you and it's a right fit. So, 30 minutes is free to everybody, but then free sessions as part of the visioning and planning workshop. You know, lots of, lots of stuff happening.

Carmen Hecox: 44:21

Holy smokes girl. You're just giving stuff away. So, just to make, just to clarify, if people want to sign up for opportunity to win a copy of the nature of transformation, they need to sign up to be on your email list on janetzavala.com.

Janet Zavala: 44:40

Yes,

Carmen Hecox: 44:40

and you will be hosting a workshop. In order to be a part of that workshop, you will have a designated page to where people can sign up for that. And as a bonus, if you sign up for that workshop, you could win a free coaching session.

Janet Zavala: 44:57

That's right. That's exactly right.

Carmen Hecox: 45:00

And you also offer a free 30-minute consult. People can go to your website and sign up for a free 30-minute consult to see if you and them are a good fit.

Janet Zavala: 45:12

That's right. That's right.

Carmen Hecox: 45:13

But I don't understand how anybody wouldn't be a good fit, cuz you're like totally awesome.

Janet Zavala: 45:17

Aw.

Carmen Hecox: 45:19

So just to summarize, today we talked about unhealthy patterns. We talked about forgiveness and authenticity. We talked about self-care and personal development. Geez, Janet, we covered so much stuff.

Janet Zavala: 45:37

We covered a lot of ground. This is good.

Carmen Hecox: 45:39

And so, for anybody who wants to obtain the transcript, you just go to my website, createthebestme.com and you can download the transcript and you can also get all the links so that you can get a hold of Janet and get all her goodness that she is offering. Janet, thank you so much for coming on the show. Oh yeah. I forgot to say if you folks have not heard the first interview the first time Janet was on the show, I recommend that you go to createthebestme.com/ep004 because geez, this is before the release of the book. There was so much stuff, and she did throw a little bit of nuggets as to what you were gonna find on the book. So great place. So, Janet, thank you so much for coming on. Girl, you know you're gonna come back,

Janet Zavala: 46:33

Always, always. This is always such a fun conversation. I, we could talk for hours. We you know, we could,

Carmen Hecox: 46:39

Or text for hours.

Janet Zavala: 46:40

I just love the focus of both of us are focused on women who have so much strength and power to give out into the world and helping them kind of evolve and transform it it's the funnest thing in the world.

Carmen Hecox: 46:53

It certainly is. All right. Thank you.

Janet Zavala: 46:57

Thank you.

Carmen Hecox: 46:58

Wow, ladies. Wasn't that episode truly transformative? I'm already excited for Janet's"Own Your Future" live Interaction workshop on May 31st, 6:00 PM Pacific, and 9:00 PM Eastern for our East Coast people. Don't forget to register for this event by visiting createthebestme.com/ep010 where you'll find the signup link. If you haven't had the chance to read the nature of Transformation yet, now is a great time. Trust me, it is a must read. For an opportunity to win assigned copy, head on over to janetzavalacoaching.com and complete your information in the pop-up form. And remember to claim your free vision planning workbook from Janet. Visit createthebestme.com/ep010 and click on the links so that she can send it directly into your inbox. You can find all the links for today's special offers at createthebestme.com/ep010. A huge thank you to our amazing guest, Janet Zavala, for spending time with us today. We're already eager to have her come back on the show. As always, thank you for tuning in to Create The Best Me. If this episode resonated with you, be sure to hit subscribe and stay updated on the upcoming episodes. Join us next week where we'll dive into personal growth and you won't want to miss it. Until then, keep dreaming big. Take care of yourself and remember your beautiful, strong, and capable of creating the best version of yourself. Thank you for watching. I'll catch you next week, bye for now.