Create The Best Me

5 Simple Steps to EMBRACE Your Fear and Unlock Your Potential TODAY!

• Carmen Hecox • Episode 108

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Ever felt stuck right on the edge of a big change—whether it’s a new career, a dream adventure, or chasing something you’ve always wanted, but just couldn’t move forward? In this episode of Create The Best Me, I, Carmen Hecox, get real about the hidden reasons we hold ourselves back and the simple truths that can finally set us free.

I share my own story of hitting a life-altering setback while working toward my degree, and the critical mindset shifts that helped me push through. Whether it’s self-doubt, fear, judging critics, or setbacks that keep you from becoming your best self, you’ll walk away from this episode with the empowering steps you need to take action—at any age or stage.

Ready to kick self-doubt to the curb, overcome fear, and actually move toward your dreams? Tune in, and let’s talk about what’s really holding you back… and how you can start succeeding, today.

What You'll Learn:

  1. Why your limiting beliefs are your biggest obstacle
    Discover how negative self-talk shapes your reality and keeps you stuck, plus why most of our daily thoughts are working against us rather than for us.
  2. How to turn fear into excitement (and fuel for growth)
    Learn practical steps to reframe fear as a natural, healthy indicator—and why facing it head-on is the only path to confidence, health, and true progress.
  3. The real power of open communication and self-advocacy
    Hear how honesty and vulnerability with others can lead to unexpected support, and the single biggest reason not to quit when you hit a setback.
  4. How to embrace shifts and celebrate every win—big or small
    Find out why setbacks are crucial for growth, and how unexpected changes can open doors to entirely new (maybe even better!) dreams.
  5. Why you’re never too old to learn or reinvent yourself
    Get inspired by stories of bold midlife changes, the surprising advantages adults have in the classroom, and why it’s perfectly okay not to be “the best”—you just need to finish.

Call to Action:

Learn more and get all the resources from this episode: https://createthebestme.com/ep108

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Have you ever considered changing careers, traveling somewhere amazing, or learning something new that excites you to the core? This excitement is so overwhelming that you actually see yourself. What if you had the power to succeed? Did you know that you possess all the skills and knowledge to move forward in whatever you want? What would that look like? How would you feel? What if I told you I hold a secret to help you begin making those changes right now? I remember about 20 years ago, I was four classes away from receiving my Bachelor's of Science in Business Management and six classes away from receiving my Bachelor's of Science in marketing. I was involved in an accident that changed my life. I was left with limited movement in my hands and lower back. Aside from being unable to work or work out or type my reports for both programs, I began to develop self-doubt about graduating. I considered dropping out instead of failing out. But after reflecting on how hard I had worked to come this far and thinking about what my children would think if I dropped out, I decided to come clean and speak to my professors. I informed them that taking some time off was not an option for me and that I needed to remain on course. I knew that the easiest thing to do was to quit and I'm not a quitter. They admired my honesty and offered to give me additional time to complete my assignments due to my limited habits movements. It was through my open communication and knocking down my limited beliefs that I was able to stay on course and follow my dreams for myself and my children. So what are the problems that we face? Our limiting beliefs, we develop negative thoughts. If you'd like to learn more about how to overcome your negative thoughts, please listen to episode 83 in which I mentioned we have between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day with up to 80% of them being negative. I know those numbers may appear high, and hard to believe, but keep in mind that many are repetitive. Or we think I'm too old, or this is not the right time. I'll have to wait until I lose weight, or I get some kind of enhancement such as a haircut, color, or maybe even Botox or fillers. In some cases we may not like the way our voice sounds, or we think that many people have a hard time understanding us because of our accents. But here's the thing, it's our voice, it's our appearance, it's our accents that make us our unique you. And guess what? People don't care about those things. What people care about is what you have to offer them. The solution that you are giving them. They don't care about the accents. They can understand you because they care more about the message. They care more about you. They see you and they see themselves. So that doesn't count. Here's a solution. Many of us face fear. It's okay to be afraid of the endless possibilities. Turn your fear into excitement. Our fears have a purpose, they're meant to keep us safe. But here's the thing, following your dreams or your passion is nothing to fear. Fear can keep you stagnant and impair your ability to grow. Embracing fear can lead to other physical and mental impairments such as weakening your immune system, cardiovascular problems, gastrointestinal problems, fatigue and exhaustion. Allowing fear to control your decisions and lifestyle can lead to isolation and disconnected from those you love and the things that give you pleasure. How to overcome fear? Acknowledge that fear is a natural feeling we were born with to keep us safe, but not to control or restrict our lives or way of being. Turn your fear into excitement as a way of looking forward to the unknown. Know that you are not alone, everyone has to face fear, head on in order to succeed. It's all just part of the process. And there's so much beauty to be discovered in the beautiful, messy process.

And here's the best news yet:

the more and more you face your fears, the stronger you become, and you may not even feel fear anymore because you'll become stronger in trusting your intuition and yourself. Embrace setbacks and although you'll have some setbacks, but you'll also have some wins along the way. Don't be afraid of the setbacks. Here's what I believe and know from my own experience. Our greatest learning and growth happens during this time. Setbacks are inevitable and are there to guide you. They could be a sign that it's time to take a step back and analyze your journey. This does not mean it's time to give up. It's designed to force you to take a small break. This moment of reflection is purposely there to keep you from burning out. And here's where the magic happens: you will be greeted with amazing wins, and when those wins happen, they must be celebrated. It doesn't have to happen with big or expensive celebrations. It's just needs to be something personal and rewarding for you. Celebrating your wins will empower you during those challenging setbacks. Ignore the critics judging from the sidelines. And here's another important fact that I want you to hold close to your heart. This is your dream, your desire, or career change that excites you every time you think about it. And it may even keep you up at night because it's meant to be. So when those naysayers start voicing their opinions, don't give them the power to keep you from moving forward because you are the only one who knows and understands what it takes to make your dream come true. And as Brene Brown says, only listen to the critic in the arena with you. Because those people are busting their tails off right there with you. I encourage you to share your dreams and desires or career change with a few people who can inspire, motivate, and encourage you. And if you know someone who is further along the same journey, ask them if they will mentor you. Having someone who has been there and is where you want to be is the greatest resource as they can encourage you and catapult you further along. Another resource is hire a coach. A coach can be your accountability partner who helps you reach each milestone. Embrace the shifts. Here's another important thing, as you begin following your dreams, you will find your dreams and desires will shift, and that's okay because you're gradually learning and refining along the way. Maybe your dream or desire was to open up your own restaurant and also teach cooking classes during the evenings. But before you make that shift, you decided to start your own YouTube channel teaching cooking classes, and your channel went viral. People are now waiting for your weekly show to post so they can learn something new. Your test project has now become your new dream and your getting ready to publish your first cookbook. See how this shift still involves teaching cooking, but it's gone from face-to-face interactions to something more global. You are still connected with people, but now your students are all over the world and your schedule is more flexible. This is what I mean, it's about embracing the shifts. Giving yourself grace, follow your dreams, desires, or career is not easy. If you are seeking something outside your current knowledge or experience, it does not mean it's not possible; it just means you might need to take some classes, attend workshops, or learn new technology. And although this may sound daunting or appear that you are starting over, don't get discouraged. Did you know that learning new things in midlife is much easier than it was when we were younger? Why you might ask? Well, because we are more focused and we have this burning desire behind learning because it's going to get us much closer to reaching our dream desire, or career change. You might also find this interesting, but our current knowledge and experience might overlap making you feel like you're ahead of the class or cheating. At this time in our lives, we have more patience and fewer distractions; therefore, we are already on our way towards becoming the teacher's pet. But here's another thing I wanted to point out: as I mentioned to you in my personal story, you might need to be nice to yourself and keep open dialogue with those around you during your learning process. If you need extra help, guidance or have some physical limitations, have those conversations with others. You don't want to give up because you fail to ask for help. So take a moment to pause and give yourself the grace you deserve to succeed.

And here's another quick story:

my mom always dreamed of becoming a nurse, but she forfeited her dream to become a wife and a mother. When she and my father got a divorce, she lost her self-confidence and suffered from self-doubt. But her dream of wanting to become a nurse kept her up at night. At first, she dismissed these thoughts because she thought she was too old or felt she wouldn't be able to keep up with the rest of the class because she had been out of school for a very long time and this was just a crazy dream. But this desire of becoming a nurse was all that she could think about. So she decided to enroll in a nursing program and see what would happen. Instead of signing up for a regular program, she signed up for an accelerated program. Talk about Go big or go home. Well, she was not the top of the class and she was not trailing behind, but she managed to complete and graduate and spent 25 years working as a nurse. Mind you, she changed careers in midlife. Talk about following your dreams, facing your fears, embracing the shift, and giving yourself grace. So there you have it, the only person or thing that may be standing in your way of following your dreams, chasing your career, or creating massive change in your life, is you! And I'm not gonna lie, following your dreams or creating change is scary, but it's also exciting. Embrace the excitement and see where you will end up. And again, if your change requires learning something new or going back to school, remember, you don't need to be the top of the class, you just need to complete the course. Because at the end, all that matters is completing the course that will get you so much closer to becoming the person you are designed to be. If you want additional information, you may find that at createthebestme.com/ep108. If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe to stay updated. If you'd like to hear more about changing your negative thoughts, you can find that episode right up here or here, I can't remember where it's at. Until then, keep dreaming big. Take care of yourself. And remember, you are beautiful, strong, and capable of creating the best version of yourself in midlife. Thank you for watching. Catch you next week. Bye for now.