Revelation Within On the Go!
Release the Guilt: A Spiritual Journey beyond New Year's Resolutions
Are New Year's resolutions just setting us up for failure and guilt? Could these well-intentioned goals be misaligned with God's will for us? Join us as we journey into the heart of this annual tradition. We question the effectiveness of these resolutions and delve into the cold, hard statistics. But don't despair - we also offer an alternative approach centered on mind renewal and alignment with God's plan, encouraging a shift from date-specific resolutions to a continuous journey of spiritual growth.
We don't stop there. We address the elephant in the room - the guilt, the shame, and the failure associated with broken resolutions. We encourage you to stay present and lean on God's unwavering love and promises. Plus, we tackle a listener's question about overindulgence in eating, scrolling, and thinking, offering practical tips for transformative change. We invite you to join our conversation, to reflect on your motivations, and to see your resolutions as tools for spiritual growth. Let's leave the guilt behind and move forward with resolutions that honor God and renew our minds.
Ashley T. Lee Podcast will cover many life issues such as overcoming stress, anxiety...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts
Learn more about our Revelation Within Community: https://www.revelationwithin.org
Are New Year's resolutions just setting us up for failure and guilt? Could these well-intentioned goals be misaligned with God's will for us? Join us as we journey into the heart of this annual tradition. We question the effectiveness of these resolutions and delve into the cold, hard statistics. But don't despair - we also offer an alternative approach centered on mind renewal and alignment with God's plan, encouraging a shift from date-specific resolutions to a continuous journey of spiritual growth.
We don't stop there. We address the elephant in the room - the guilt, the shame, and the failure associated with broken resolutions. We encourage you to stay present and lean on God's unwavering love and promises. Plus, we tackle a listener's question about overindulgence in eating, scrolling, and thinking, offering practical tips for transformative change. We invite you to join our conversation, to reflect on your motivations, and to see your resolutions as tools for spiritual growth. Let's leave the guilt behind and move forward with resolutions that honor God and renew our minds.
Ashley T. Lee Podcast will cover many life issues such as overcoming stress, anxiety...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts
Learn more about our Revelation Within Community: https://www.revelationwithin.org
Hi and welcome to Revelation Within on the Go. I'm Heidi Bausma-Epperson, one of your hosts and the owner and lead coach of the Revelation Within Ministry.
Speaker 2:And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach and Heidi's partner in All Things Revelation Within. We are so excited to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within.
Speaker 1:Well, it's that time of year and not the time of year that we said. It was before now, when it was a different time of year. It was the time of year for all the holidays. It was a different time of year. Yeah, that was a different time of year. This is the time of year. There's also a holiday coming up, the first of the year, but I don't think that is a holiday really. But some people do and they put all their eggs in that January 1 basket. Oh, my goodness, what do millions of people everywhere do this time of year?
Speaker 2:They make New Year's resolutions. New Year's resolutions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and Oxford Dictionary says a resolution is a decision to do or not to do something. I know that's complicated. Should I read that again? Resolution is a decision to do or not do something. Okay, a decision, wow. But do you know? Do you know anybody that's ever kept their New Year's resolutions? Have you ever kept your New Year's resolutions?
Speaker 2:Well, years ago, I used to do this with my girlfriends. We would all talk about what our resolutions were going to be. A lot of us would choose the same ones and we would have just a great time. Okay, well, I want this to be different and I want this to be different. Now's the time and it's kind of this time of looking back on the last year and, well, actually being disappointed, to be honest, because that's how it was for me. I would look back and say, oh, I meant to do this and I meant to be different in this way, and I meant to change this behavior and I meant to be more this way. But well, it didn't really happen to yours and everyone would say no, and so we would make them again.
Speaker 1:Well, did you know that you're in good company, because researchers suggest that only 9% of Americans that make resolutions actually complete them? But wait, there's more. In fact, research goes on to show that 23% of people quit their resolution by the end of the first week and 43% quit by the end of January.
Speaker 2:Yes, Whoa, out of 100 people, 91 people fail. Yeah, that's amazing. I know one person that would be in that other category.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, hats off to her. But you know what I was wondering what would happen if we asked God what are your thoughts about making January 1st? In my mind, this is what we do we gear up for January 1st being the moment of change. Everything is going to change, and that is used to justify a lot of things that we do during December and maybe even November, because we know it's all going to change, magically, going to change, in January. So what are God's thoughts about that? What do you think If we were to actually renew our minds, think God's thoughts after him about this tendency we have to think everything is going to change on January 1st, what would those thoughts be? What are God's thoughts?
Speaker 2:I feel like if I ask Jesus that question, if he were sitting next to me, he would ask me another question. You know how he did that so many times in the Bible he answered a question with a question. I think that he would look right into my heart and he would say, Christina, what are you longing for and where are you looking to get it? That's what I think he would say to me, or something like that. Yeah, what do you think, heidi? What do you think he would say?
Speaker 1:to you. Well, the verse that popped into my mind as you were answering with a question is Isaiah 30, verse 18. And it's yet. The Lord longs to be gracious to you. Yes, in some translations it even says he waits to show you compassion, and blessed are those who wait for him. I wonder if, when we put off resolutions as though everything's going to be magical and change, we're keeping God waiting. He wants to show us compassion now. He does so what are you longing for, though? That's what you sense, jesus might ask you.
Speaker 2:Well, and also, where's my focus? Is it all about me or is it all about him? So those are some good questions. Another question would be if I'm planning New Year's resolutions, do any of them glorify God or is it all about me, which is kind of what I just said what's important to God? Those are some good questions, right? I want what I'm doing to be in line with what's important to God, or why would I even want to do it?
Speaker 1:Well, and if it is in line with God's thoughts and his desires for me, why would I wait until a date on a calendar to do it? Another big question is Is there something missing? If I go from where I am now to January 1st, thinking everything's going to be different and I will be able to do things that I haven't done yet, is there a piece missing in there? I think there's a big piece missing, and it's what's going on in my head. And how am I going to train myself to think in a way that will change my beliefs, that will change my desires, that will change my actions, because my actions are driven by what I believe and my beliefs are driven by what I think on. And if I'm going to accomplish some new behavior, whether it's, you know, I'm going to be more mission minded or I'm going to be healthier, whatever it might be, I think there's a whole lot that has to happen between now and January 1st in my thinking in order for it to be a reality for me.
Speaker 2:Well, because really, if New Year's resolutions worked, how different would it be? I mean, it's like there has to be something more to just saying, okay, I'm now going to do this and I'm going to sustain it for the rest of the year. There's just no way that we're going to be able to do that unless, like you said Heidi, unless our thoughts begin to change, and that's that takes work. We have to work on that. That's not just a magical. Here we go. It's January 1st. My thoughts have all been traded out for thoughts that line up with God's and our life giving and not condemning and it's like, oh, it doesn't happen that way. We have to step out in faith and let those thoughts be traded out.
Speaker 1:And even if we make a resolution at another. See, one of the things I've had trouble with for years with this idea of New Year's resolutions is why is something worth doing on January 1st and it isn't worth doing now? I just think that fabricating a date that I'm going to change is kind of counterproductive. I could make a resolution now, and so I kind of it kind of makes me wonder what is going on that I'm putting it off. If it's something God's calling me to putting it off, delayed obedience is still disobedience. Can I say that?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:It's tricky, but what we really want to do if we're going to resolve to be different at all is we want to think God's thoughts about. If it's a sin we want to cast aside, that we say we're never going to do again, we've got to ask him what are your thoughts about that sin or about that behavior, so that I grow to hate that sin?
Speaker 1:or hate that behavior that doesn't serve the Lord or me and I need to allow that transition to change my beliefs, which will change my actions. I can't just flip a switch and go from who I am today to this perfectly intentional January 1st person. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Well, and let's be honest, I mean, how many of us end up on January 1st full of shame for what didn't happen the year before? And shame is not from the Lord, so is that what he's calling us to on the first of the year? I don't think so. So one of the things that I love to do at the beginning of the year, and really all year long, is focus on what doesn't change and what doesn't depend on me and my actions, what is for sure and absolute and true, and that's my identity in Christ. If I focus on that, if I celebrate that, if I fix my eyes on the Lord instead of on myself, wow, I mean, that is a beautiful place to be, rather than, oh, I'm so disappointed in myself and this didn't happen again and I can't seem to change anything, but to look at what God wants, focusing on him and what is always the same his character, who he is, who I am because of him. Boy, that feels a whole lot better than how much I messed up last year, right.
Speaker 1:What would it be like if we used one of our favorite mind renewal tools to look back over the year and look and learn with the Lord, actually invite him in and identify some of those things that, instead of feeling shame, we can actually get some information from the Lord about it?
Speaker 2:So he can create a sense through it.
Speaker 1:So, like, as I look back over the year and I see, oh, there was one particular set of circumstances that this is how I behaved and it resulted in a spiral, I want to go to God and say Lord, I want to invite you into that and learn from that.
Speaker 1:What happened in 2023 or whatever you're, you're looking back on so that I can ask you what can I do differently, what can I think differently? What do you want me to do in order to be able to act differently if I'm faced with similar circumstances again? That is a great way of reflecting on the previous year and then even using what God says to me to look ahead at. These are some things that I want to put in place as I go into, not the new year, but the next hour. Yeah, exactly. Why put it off? Why put it off? There's nothing that is worth doing on January 1st that isn't worth doing now. That's a quotable.
Speaker 2:That's a quotable people. Another thing I think that people do, and that I used to do, is we get to the beginning of the year and we say things to ourselves like this year is going to be so much easier than last year, this is done and this is done Wow, you know, I'm just looking to this year. Let's go, it's going to be great. There's nothing wrong with that, because our hope is in the Lord and we know that he's going to bring us joys and blessings. But I have to say that for me, it's pretty helpful to say I need to get ready for some new challenges.
Speaker 2:You know I'm going to have in the year 2024, I'm going to have some new challenges and I don't want to face any of those without the Lord and certainly not without His thoughts in my mind. So I want to get ready. You know I want to get ready. I want to be talking with Him all the time. I want to be in the Word. I want to be renewing my mind with His thoughts. I want to be more ready this January than I was last January for a year of joys and challenges.
Speaker 1:That's a really good point, christina, that we don't know what will come, and staying in the present moment is one of the most valuable things we can do. Be mindful now, learning from the past and, like you said, kind of camping out on what we know is true, which is God's character and who he says, because of Christ, about me, those things I know. I can bank on learning lessons that God has taught me through my mess up, slips, tumbles, slides, failures, falls, sin, from 2023 or whatever year it might be, and going forward. But I can't predict the future.
Speaker 1:My resolutions don't guarantee me that something isn't going to face me. I want, if I'm going to resolve to do anything, it's going to start now, and it's got to start now because, again, if it's worth doing it all ever, it's worth doing now. If God's calling me to it ever, he's calling me to do this now and it's to think his thoughts. I want to think his thoughts about what he allows to come my way during 2024. I want to renew my mind. I want to be steadfast. I want to turn to him again and again. I used to joke that the only New Year's resolution I had was to never make a New Year's resolution.
Speaker 2:And I know that's not uncommon.
Speaker 1:But you know, I have to say that I was doing some research for this episode, deep research. I did a Google search and I was reminded of the verse in numbers it's 2319 that says God is not a man that he should lie, nor a son of man that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? As he promise and not fulfill? And the thought came to me as I read that relative to New Year's resolutions, that, yeah, I don't want to set myself up in some way to practice not being Christlike not being like the Lord and he does what he says.
Speaker 1:And it doesn't mean I don't ever promise anything, but if I know that this way of approaching a new year is setting myself up for failure or a lot of condemnation or shame, why would I go there? I wouldn't. Instead, I would take each day as it comes. Another one of the verses that popped up in my Google search about New Year's resolutions came from James and spoke of you know, we can say that we're going to go and do business at this town or that town, but really, what do we know? We don't know anything, and so all we know is this present moment. I know Christ, I know his truth, I know who he is, I know who I am because of him.
Speaker 1:And I know that he has me in the palm of his hand.
Speaker 2:That's all I know Well, and that means that everything that's important is in place, no matter what happens every day of 2024, or the rest of 2023,. We know exactly what you just said those things are important and they're in place, no matter what.
Speaker 1:I love dwelling on those thinking on those.
Speaker 2:I was thinking on those just this morning.
Speaker 1:One of the attributes of God that has become so precious to me over the past gosh, I guess it's. Well, nine years, 10 years actually, I feel like so much has changed. People that I've known have changed. They aren't who I thought they were. And other people have come into my life, other people have gone. God is immutable, unchangeable. That is an attribute that I love about him now, because he's not going to suddenly like the verse says in Numbers 2319, he's not going to change his mind.
Speaker 1:He's not going to suddenly say, oops, you're not saved anymore. I couldn't hold you in my hand. You squeezed out.
Speaker 2:Well, it's true, though. I mean, what if my career has changed? Oh, it has. Oh, yeah. What if I'm not a caregiver for my parents anymore because they're in heaven? Oh, that did happen. You know what if my kids are all grown up and I have different kinds of relationships with them? Yeah, that's happening right now. I've had a lot of changes, and you have too, heidi and so it feels so good to know that God does not change and who I am doesn't change, and so we can stand on that every day, moment by moment, no matter what's happening emotionally, physically in our lives, spiritually.
Speaker 1:What about the person that comes to the New Year? They haven't had any interest in changing their eating. And now what? And they feel like my eating's out of control and everything is out of control. And so I'm going to change my eating on January 1st and go forward with them. New plan. Maybe they're not even going to diet, like you know, pick up Weight Watchers or Keto or whatever. They're just going to maybe eat between hunger and satisfaction. I just want to really make this program work for me. This intuitive eating is going to work for me. I'm really going to apply myself to it. I'm going to string together enough days where I'm going to see change in my body physically. What would you counsel them, Christina?
Speaker 2:You know what that mentality kind of of here comes the day I'm gonna do it, on that day I'm gonna change, I'm gonna fix this. All the statements begin with I, and that's a little dieting mentality that old dieting mentality is not gonna work for us.
Speaker 2:It hasn't worked for us, for you know the years and years that we've tried. So the first thing that Heidi and I always say, always in answer to any of the questions that are Like that is invite God in, invite God in, lord, meet me right where I am. For some reason, and I don't know why and I'm not sure and I don't get why I keep doing this, but I am eating for reasons other than hunger and I'm struggling and I'm hopeless and I need you.
Speaker 2:I need you to do this. It's a stronghold in my life.
Speaker 2:Yes come in and meet me right in the middle of the mess. I'm not gonna try to fix it before I come to you. Gonna, ask you to meet me right now. Yes, in the mess. I'm probably gonna tell someone about it, someone who understands me and loves me and will pray for me. That's another good one. Tell your story so that you have that kind of support with someone close by, and then ask God what might be a first step and just start with something very, very small. Don't try to do it all at once. Start with something small. Ask him to show you. Why am I eating in this moment? Is it something I'm feeling? Is it a need that I have? Maybe I'm just exhausted, maybe I need healing. Will you show me Lord and Get some support? This is a hard thing. Strongholds are hard. God is the only one that can break them but he can, and he does every single day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely. What else do we have to say about this topic of New Year's resolutions?
Speaker 2:Well, we kind of said this already, but if you want to make resolutions, go ahead, but make God the focus. Have Him be the one doing the work in you, rather than you trying to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, because the Bible says, of course, that God's strength is made perfect in our weakness. I know that sounds backwards and crazy and strange and weird, but it's one of my very favorite truths in the Word of God Mine too. I can come to Him a week, so if I'm going to sit down and say, okay, lord, what am I longing for, will you help me to see? You know, where do we want to go together from here? Not me by myself, but together. That's a great way to begin.
Speaker 1:So we've decided that every so often we're going to answer a question from our listeners, from our community members, our co-tees, we're going to share the question and then Christine and I are going to chime in with what might help. So this question was asked. I'm going to preserve the privacy of the person who asked. She says I'm identifying some overeating, overscrolling, overthinking behaviors. After I eat lunch or dinner, I pick at foods, continue to eat as if what I had for my meal wasn't enough. How do I start implementing revelation within strategies for all of these overages? Great question.
Speaker 2:Yeah, great question. Thank you for asking that question. This is a question that many, many, many of us have asked over the years, and I certainly was asking it years ago. Okay, so what I just shared, that's kind of going to be the first part of this answer as well inviting God in and asking Him for a conviction. Do you believe that eating between physical hunger and satisfaction is what God wants for you? Do you believe that the BLTs bites, licks and tastes are not supportive of your godly goals? Invite God in and ask Him, sit down and have a conversation with Him, or several conversations, and ask Him Lord, what would you have me do? What would be right for me at this time?
Speaker 1:Secondly, if you do have the conviction that you know God wants you to wait for hunger and have just enough food and stop when you're satisfied at that just right spot and you recognize that these overages are counter to supporting your journey, then you want to get really practical. Now I'm not addressing the overscrolling and overthinking, but you can take the same principles, as silly as it may sound, when it comes to food. Put the easily accessible foods away where they won't be easily accessible. Wrap them up in saran wrap and duct tape if you need to. Well, I've done that before. It's in a video I remember. Yes, it is. Bag them, put them in a cabinet, counters and tables and stoves, and all of that should be free of easily accessible food. Now, that may seem really obvious, but a lot of us have bags open on the counter when we walk through and grab one or two. That's a BLT, a bite, lick or taste. That principle can also apply to the overscrolling.
Speaker 1:How readily accessible is a device for me that I can just pick it up and start doing that without even engaging a brain cell? I might want to put my phone back in my backpack or my purse or put it somewhere else, charging somewhere. I don't need to have it always on my person. Some of us do, maybe because of people in certain situations, but for the most part, we might want to take a break. Maybe, especially as you're starting this, take a couple of hours and just give it a try.
Speaker 1:Michael and I used to do a practice every Sunday where we would disconnect from all our devices, and it was a really rich time. In fact, it's something I think we should do again, but anyway, it can be good just to fast from your device for a couple of hours. Make it not as easily accessible. Now, overthinking something is a little tricky, because that's all about mind renewal. To me, that's all about you have to have a corral around your thought. You have to have boundaries for your thoughts. That would be. My suggestion is make it not as easy to bite, lick and taste.
Speaker 2:And then, of course, we talk about renewing of the mind all the time and how important our thoughts are. So if you're struggling with the over-sprolling or the overeating or other over overspending over things, what are you thinking about those things? What are you thinking? And then that leads to what do you believe? And then that leads to your actions. So there's a reason why you're doing what you're doing. It's not just for nothing, it's not just a random thing. The acts that you're doing have a reason and we can back that up to the beliefs and then back that up to the thoughts. It's so, so important. So I'll just choose food and eating as an example. What do I believe about food? What do I believe about certain foods? What do I believe about God and food and his provision for me? What do I believe about myself, my body, who I am, things like that?
Speaker 2:You can start small, you know, certainly by just asking God. Help me to know your thoughts about this. So invite God to show you his thoughts. Sit down with a Bible nearby and your journal open and just start writing down what your thoughts are about these things, and then you'll want to go back and ask God is this a lie? Is this truth or something in between? We call those little T-truths. There are statements that were true in the past but don't have to be going forward. I've said this before many, many times. I used to think that my thoughts were not important, that it didn't matter what I was thinking, that nobody could see it. It was my little secret what I was thinking. But it turns out that my thoughts are incredibly important and I can do something about that. I can go to God and replace them with his thoughts. That's a big one, and that's a long-lasting one too.
Speaker 1:Another thought is, since you've invited God in, ask him what is true about this overages behavior, whatever we want to call it, whether it's overeating, overscrolling, overspending what is it about? He can show you, he can tell you. You know Jeremiah 33.3,. I love quoting this because it's true. He says in that passage that call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsurachable things you do not know, as opposed to Proverbs 3, 5, and 6,. That tells me trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your path straight.
Speaker 1:These two passages tell me he can tell me things I wouldn't know, and I can know things I wouldn't know and learn from them, specifically from him, and so he may tell you what your overages behavior is rooted in, because he is a healer and so he heals. That's what he does. There may be something that he is wanting to draw you in about so that he has a chance to heal it in your life, and he may give you strategies so that you have alternatives to picking at the food or scrolling on your phone. Ask him for solutions and he will give them to you, I've seen it and it is awesome. It is.
Speaker 2:Well, and that kind of leads into the next one, which is what we call look and learn.
Speaker 2:We want to stop the condemnation, stop beating yourself up, stop feeling guilty, stop all of that, because that is from the enemy, not from the Lord. We know that there is no condemnation in Christ and that he receives us every single time with compassion and kindness and love and patience and forgiveness. So we want to go to him and, instead of going to him with this awful shame which I mean I felt for years and years, go to him and say, lord, I messed this up again. Will you help me to see why, help me to learn from this, teach me.
Speaker 2:And if I'm not teachable, if my heart is hardened or I feel like there's a wall up between the Lord and I, which I hear people say all the time, ask him to help you with that. Ask him and say Lord, I feel like there's something between us. Will you bring me in to you? Will you draw me in, soften my heart? Ask him for that help. He would love to do that. And then we want to be open to hear his voice and open to hear what he impresses on our hearts through scripture, through a song, a sermon. But maybe it's just in the quiet and the moment you have a thought that comes from him and he will say you know what, christina, in that moment you were feeling loneliness and that's why you did that over thing.
Speaker 2:You were over scrolling because you felt lonely in your illness, for example. That's one that I struggle with, loneliness in a chronic illness. Or, christina, you know remember how tired you were, you were exhausted. You ate because you needed rest. So next time, just come to me first, I'll remind you. Go to bed, you know, lay down, have a rest. Or maybe it's an emotional need, like I don't feel valued, that kind of thing. God will meet you in those places and he will bring healing. Like Heidi said, he is a healer. He wants us to come to him so that he can heal us and teach us in a gentle, loving way, and we call that look and learn.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So in a nutshell to anybody who's asking this question how do I start implementing a revelation within strategies for any kind of over anything, overspending, etc. Over eating? Number one was asked for conviction. Do I really believe that this is outside of his plan for me? Or is this okay, because if I don't feel a conviction, whatever way the wind blows, I'm going to go?
Speaker 1:So, I'm going to ask God for that conviction. And secondly, get practical. You know, put things away, make them inaccessible so that you can't just grab and go, or you know, and if it's a credit card thing, cut them up I know that sounds crazy or give it to somebody who can hold it for you for an emergency.
Speaker 1:You could always get the number from them over the phone or whatever if you need to. A third one is renewing your mind, and then fourth, asking him what is true at the heart of this behavior. And then five was looking and learning when it happens again. So that's what we suggest, and if you would like a question answered on a podcast episode, feel free to write to either one of us, christina at thenwithanacademycom or Heidi at revelationwithincom, and we'll be glad to use your question for a podcast episode.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And then come and join us at our wonderful, wonderful community on Mighty Networks, which is at RevWithin T, and you will find wonderful, wonderful people to connect with. Heidi and I are there every single day answering questions and having discussions, and we would love to support you. Come and join us in our community.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and if you want to find out more about the community, you can just visit revelationwithinorg. That page that you land on tells you all well, not all about the community, but it gives you some details. First week is free we would love to have you and then it's just $9.99 a month, which I think is pretty reasonable. Well, thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're so glad that you've been here for this episode and we hope you'll join us for our next episode of RevelationWithin. Bye for now. Bye.