Revelation Within On the Go!

The "Impossible Day" Survival Guide

Heidi Bylsma-Epperson and Christina Motley Season 2 Episode 12

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Have you ever woken up to a day that feels utterly impossible? When insecurity, rejection, and the weight of expectations leave you wanting to pull the covers over your head and hide from the world? You're not alone.

In this deeply personal episode, we dive into the universal struggle with inadequacy and how to find solid ground when everything feels shaky.
Whether you're feeling inadequate, rejected, or overwhelmed by expectations, this episode offers both compassion and practical tools,  including the I Deserve a Donut book and app, by Barb Raveling, to renew your mind. Join us in discovering that impossible days don't have to defeat us—they can become opportunities to experience God's strength in profound new ways.

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Speaker 1:

Hi and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within On the Go. I'm Heidi Biles-Mapperson, one of your hosts and the owner and lead coach of the RevelationWithinorg ministry, and I'm Christina Motley.

Speaker 2:

I'm your other host, also a Revelation Within coach and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within, and we are so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within On the phone.

Speaker 1:

Well, I am going through it these days.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you are, yes, you are.

Speaker 1:

I'm going through it and all my mind renewal wisdom has been tossed aside. I'm just reacting instead of responding, and I know better. So I thought it might be really good to talk about a topic that I think others might be able to. You know we like to, and that is insecurity, feeling rejected, feeling condemned, trying to live up to expectations, not doing it and people pleasing people pleasing pleasing too.

Speaker 2:

It's hard and, yeah, we can all relate. There's not one person on this planet that can't relate to the things that you just said the insecurity and feeling rejected, trying to live up to expectations. Over the years that Heidi and I have been friends, prayer partners, co-workers, partners in crime, but mostly friends and prayer partners, best friends we have named a certain kind of day and we've talked about this before but maybe you haven't heard that podcast. We named a certain kind of day impossible. And it's like we wake up in the morning, we look what's ahead in our day, we see what we not necessarily have planned, but what's in front of us, what's been planned for us, and we get back in bed and just put the covers up, we'd like to get back in bed, we'd like to say you know I'm not doing this day, I'll see you tomorrow, but it's in front of us and we have to move forward.

Speaker 2:

We have to get out of bed and and walk forward into the day. And it feels impossible and Heidi and I will text each other in the morning or even the night before and just say I'm facing an impossible day. This day feels impossible, I can't do it, I don't want to do it, I'm not equipped for this, I don't think that I have what I need, I'm going to fail miserably all of those kinds of statements. And then we remind each other what is true from God's perspective. So I'll give you an example. I have so many I can't even pick one. No, I'll give you an example of an impossible day for me.

Speaker 2:

So I was in a season for quite a while when I was a school teacher, which I absolutely loved doing. Loved it was not ready to quit, but my health caused me to quit. So I was a school teacher for many years and got up very, very early in the morning, showed up to work, got things ready, planned, did all kinds of groups and teaching and wore all kinds of hats all day long, completely depleted myself like every ounce of energy that I had. And then I came home and crashed and burned and I know I know when I look back on it that I was really damaging my body because my body was fighting chronic Lyme disease and three co-infections to go with that, and here I was pushing so hard every day but in my mind there wasn't really a choice. It was my job, it was my passion, it was my career and it was also part of our family income and so I felt like I have to keep going.

Speaker 2:

Also, my kids were in school with me and then later, you know, moved beyond that age level. I was with the little ones at elementary school. Anyway, I can remember hundreds and hundreds of days that I would wake up in the morning. I wasn't feeling well in my body. You know, physically my body was hurting and feeling sick. And I woke up and I had this incredibly challenging day in front of me with meetings, and you know staff meetings and committees and teaching, and you know recess duty and everything else you can think of, and I thought I can't do it.

Speaker 1:

I remember those days.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh, it was a horrible feeling, horrible, horrible feeling. Just to think I don't have it, I can't do it. Should I call in sick?

Speaker 1:

That's when we went to do 15 minutes. Just do the next 15 minutes. Yes, I know.

Speaker 2:

And Heidi would pray for me and I would get her texts at work and I would look at them on my bathroom breaks and things like that, and she encouraged me to renew my mind and tell myself what was true. Those days seemed impossible, but with God, nothing is impossible. So there was a season when I felt called to stay there and do that. I felt like God was saying hang in there a little while longer and then I'm going to find another way. And he did. He did, he was faithful, he found another way and I love, love, love. What I'm doing now, coaching and working with Heidi and Revelation Within. It's incredible. I love it. I love it. But at the time he was calling me to those days Right, and he was calling me in deeper into that desperate dependence that only comes when we are in dire straits and it feels impossible.

Speaker 2:

And so I remember at the time remember this, heidi I made kind of an agreement with the Lord, like I felt, like he was saying let's agree to this, christina, because I would have these horrible mornings where I would go back and forth Should I call in? Should I write subplans? Should I stay home? What should I do? Should I call in? Should I write sub plans? Should I stay home? What should I do? Oh my gosh, I remember that it drove me nuts.

Speaker 1:

I'm sure it did. It was just-. I love you. But it was like but yesterday you said you were just going to stay with it.

Speaker 2:

I know it was awful. It was like I was so conflicted, I was so insecure I was. I was conflicted, Like I, just it was awful.

Speaker 1:

You felt like you couldn't be enough or do enough, or do it well enough, because you were feeling so cruddy.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and didn't have the energy. And then those symptoms, those Lyme symptoms, would come up at school and I would be like laying on the floor.

Speaker 1:

On the floor, yeah, doing my breaks.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh, it was. It was horrible. Anyway, I made this agreement with the Lord. I felt like he was calling me to this get up in the morning, get dressed, don't think about not going, just go. Yeah, just keep going. You know, get yourself ready, put your school bag on your shoulder and get yourself out the door. Of course, I was also getting the kids ready and dealing with all their stuff too. And then I felt like he was saying once you get there, if you cannot do the day, you can go home and they'll just have to do it without you. And really, out of hundreds of those days, I think there were like maybe five, yeah, a handful, where I actually had to go home. It was hard, it was really hard and I felt like nobody understood me. You couldn't see it on me.

Speaker 1:

No, Christina fakes it really well.

Speaker 2:

Well, but I was. When I was with the kids, I went, went into my own little world and then the kids would go out of the room and I'd go oh my gosh, I feel so bad. I wasn't faking it with them.

Speaker 1:

Right, no, I get it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh man, that was so hard and God got me through that time and into another season. That was an incredibly hard season.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and my hard season is right now.

Speaker 2:

Right now, here it is. We're right in the thick of it, right now, this minute.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Michael and I. When we first got married in 2019, he swept me off my feet and took me to a desert island called Catalina Island. Look it up. It is a destination of all kinds of tourists.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

And it's just a lovely, lovely place and we were planted in a camp on the ocean. The view from our little bungalow was amazing, it was dreamy. And then the world closed down because of COVID and we got to play and play and play. We kayaked and hiked and Michael was yeah, anyway, he didn't get paid for work, but they continued to provide a home for him and his wife there in camp. It was amazing, it was amazing.

Speaker 1:

And after three years, we sensed a call from God to come back to the mainland, leave paradise behind with all of its wonders and mysteries. And oh, I loved. I love snorkeling and seeing hundreds and hundreds of fish and a sea turtle in our cove. I loved all of that. But anyway, we sensed God calling us to come and help his mom who was experiencing failing health. Yeah, so we've been here for the last three years helping Marilyn with things that she needs help with and most recently, within the last few weeks, her health has had a big downturn, rather sudden downturn, and I've seen her go from somebody who's very outwardly confident to somebody who's clearly afraid and lashing out at others to kind of cope with it, and I happen to be a really convenient target.

Speaker 2:

I'm the daughter-in-law.

Speaker 1:

And so I recognize that I need to renew my mind. It's gotten very intense. I won't describe all of the altercations and things that have happened and catching her gossiping about me to friends and family members. I'm not even going to go there because I know that you know what would it be like to be 82 and have loved living outside and being strong and healthy for most of those 82 years except with some exceptions along the way and have it suddenly change and you're feeling like you can't get outside. You're feeling like you can't get your hands in the dirt and garden like you love, and it would be hard, it would be scary, it would be. It doesn't justify things that have been done, but I know I have a choice to make. I am not.

Speaker 1:

I'm in this circumstance right now, and so God wants me to adjust my thinking about the circumstance. One of the resources I use to help me get a different perspective is by a friend of mine, barb Robling, and you may have heard of her before. She has a wonderful book called I Deserve a Donut and Other Lies that Make you Eat, and it's also an app, so you can find it in the app store. I believe it's free in the app store and that's I mean that's a great price right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So, when I knew I needed to renew my mind today about what's been going on here in my personal private life that I'm now sharing with, just with me right.

Speaker 1:

I looked into the table of contents and this is I call this a traveling companion Because when I feel different emotions, or when I'm believing lies that make me want to eat or, you know, act out in any other way, you know, I want to go towards a counterfeit coping mechanism, or this dissonance in my heart, whatever's going on in me. I mean I'm just miserable, and that's really how I've been. I mean I'm just miserable, um, and that's really how I've been. I mean I, I'm here to love her Well, darn it, and she's not recognizing that I'm here. Oh, it's so hard. Yeah, it is, and I feel kicked in the teeth and um, and then I, I want to cry, of course, but then, instead of crying, cause it's so painful, I just get mad crying because it's so painful. I just get mad.

Speaker 2:

Mad is easier than sad it is.

Speaker 1:

It is the world isn't ready for this girl to be this bad and Marilyn isn't.

Speaker 2:

She deserves better than that, and so does Michael.

Speaker 1:

Anyway. So I looked at the table of contents in this book. If you've never heard of it before, it's basically divided up into two sections. Lies that make you want to eat, wink, wink. And emotions that make you eat. And I love the way this book is done because you just flip. It's like choose your own adventure. Right, it is, yes, I love those books. What do I feel right now? Or what am I believing right now? And you find it in the table of contents and you flip there. So I recall that, oh yes, this is my like third copy of this book and it's in brand new condition. My other one is brand new. It is yeah, the other ones are tattered and mine are all tattered and torn and yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because I've used it through everything. I use this book through an unwanted divorce. I've used this book through moves. I've used this book through when somebody was fighting with me about something, and it's always the other person who's fighting. I'm not because I'm right, anyway. So there's a big section in it, under emotions that make you eat, called insecurity, and she starts the section with insecurity bible verses, and then the sections are tell me if you can relate to any of these insecurity feeling inadequate bingo, bingo. Insecurity feeling rejected or condemned, bingo. Insecurity living up to expectations there it is, yes, and I'm not doing it. Insecurity, people pleasing yes, they're all fitting me right now. The last two are insecurity, self-condemnation and insecurity social situations those not so much, but the other four categories, wow. So I'm going to flip to the Bible verses on insecurity first, and we'll we'll just read a few of those and see what God ministers to our heart about through the verses of scripture that Barb Raveling has included here. Do you want to read that first one? Sure.

Speaker 2:

Psalm 3.3,. But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory and the one who lifts my head.

Speaker 1:

And I love personalizing these as I go, and so I would say you know, lord, you are my shield, you are my protector, you are the one that can keep me from allowing these things to damage me in ways that I can't recover from. You are my glory. Not how much recognition I can get from the family members for all the amazing things I'm doing, or whatever. You are the one, you alone are the one who can lift my head. No amount of praise or recognition or gratitude could lift my head like you can, and you can do that in the midst of anything I'm doing. So I thank you, lord, for that.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yeah, that's truth. That's perspective from God, which is amazing. Yeah, it just flips everything kind of around. I love that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, okay, I'm going to go on to Psalm 91, verses two to four. I will say to the Lord and we can personalize it saying Heidi will say to the Lord I'm going to do first person, my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust, for it is he, it is you, god, who delivers me from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence. You, lord, will cover me with your opinions and under your wings I will seek refuge. Under your wings, lord. Your faithfulness is there. It is again my shield and bulwark.

Speaker 1:

Oh yes, lord, it's in the Lord, and he wants me to adjust my perspective from looking for approval from Marilyn to resting in him and allowing him to shelter me. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

Yes, psalm 139,. It's my favorite Psalm, so I'm going to grab this one, verses 13 to 15. For you formed my inward parts. You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. So this is who I am. This is who I am in Christ.

Speaker 2:

When I feel like I'm inadequate, when I feel like I'm unequipped, when I feel like I'm failing at absolutely everything or maybe it's just this one big thing in my life I can look at this and I can see. How does God see me? This is who I am in Christ, not so much who I am in the world, and this is an eternal perspective. You know, this is how God sees me. He sees me as well. He made me fearfully and wonderfully. I love that, and really the rest of Psalm 39 is also so beautiful, just to help me to be grounded in who I am.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Him not in my circumstances, Right yeah.

Speaker 1:

Right, I'm going to wrap up this section with 2 Corinthians 5.9. Okay, and I'm going to personalize it as I read it. Therefore, I have as my ambition, whether at home on this earth or absent in the presence of the Lord, to be pleasing to him. Yes, lord, I just want to turn this into a prayer. Lord, you are the one I want to please, not my mother-in-law, I mean. Yes, it would be awesome if she could just magically love anything and everything I do for her. That is not going to define me. I want to please you. You've called me to this. I've said again and again that I am called to love Marilyn.

Speaker 1:

Well, and I want to do that and recognize that you are pleased in my just even my smallest efforts to do that. Thank you, god, for that.

Speaker 2:

Beautiful, beautiful.

Speaker 1:

Barb has a section in each of her chapters, or whatever we want to call them, that offer tips. Now, keep in mind that the purpose of this book, and why we want to call them that offer tips Now keep in mind that the purpose of this book, and why we're sharing it with you right now, even to a large degree, is we want to not turn to counterfeit comforts for what's going on in our hearts and our minds. So we renew our mind. So we have God's answer instead of the answer we've been trying out, or we're likely to try out, which is going to food, or going to scrolling, or going to any kind of distraction from what God's calling us to. So her tips it's mostly food related and you can, you know, superimpose whatever it is that you might tend to gravitate toward into these tips.

Speaker 1:

When you pray these scriptures, she says picture God doing the things these verses talk about Like. Picture him being a shield. Picture him being a bulwark. Imagine him reaching down to grab hold of your hand when you've said something dumb I do that every day or lifting you up on a rock to protect you when life is difficult and it is for many of us or smiling at you as he flings out his arms and says come here, you delightful child.

Speaker 1:

As you picture God in these roles. Barb says her prayer is that you'll feel treasured, cherished and accepted by your father, who knows your every sin yet still delights in you. I love that we haven't even gotten started with the actual core of activity which is amazing, I love it.

Speaker 2:

What do you think? Well, I just want to mention, heidi, about my experience with this book and these Bible verses. So when you and I started coaching almost exactly 11 years ago, you introduced me to this book I Deserve a Donut and Other Lives that Make you Eat and I read through the whole thing, which is not, you know, you don't have to do that, but I just decided to, and people do that. They read through it and they're like huh what? Well, I read through it, but I realized it was definitely a resource book. It's a book that you can go back to a million times. Yeah, you skip around in it. You skip around, but I wanted, I wanted to like ingest the whole thing first, and I did that, and then I went through the whole book. I don't think I ever told you this, heidi. I went through the whole book and I just read the tips. Okay, there's a little paragraph or two that are tips after every single chapter. So I did that and then I went through and use the Bible verses too, and this you know, the insecurity Bible verses are on page 87 through 89. And my book falls open to that, because those are the ones that I used the most, and this is what I did.

Speaker 2:

I mean, you can do this any way you want, but at the time every morning, in the bathroom, when I was getting ready for the day, I would prop this book up like in front of me on the sink, and I would. You know, my whole family was asleep. I was up super early and I would whisper through the questions in these chapters, one chapter at a time. Sometimes it took me two or three days to do one chapter. It didn't matter. But what I was doing was continually renewing my mind and even if I wasn't in that situation at the time, I was getting ready to be right now, because at some time you're going to be ready for that next thing, you know, whatever it is. And then there were other times when I was feeling, you know, like you, heidi, where you're in a situation right now. I need the encouragement right now. And so then you look up exactly what you need. So it's a fabulous resource. I would recommend it for everyone and anyone.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I'm going to just make my way through one set of questions and, in an ideal world for me, I journal these as prayers. Basically, I imagine God is asking me the questions and if it needs to be modified because it doesn't quite fit the situation, okay, but I respond, and I did this before it ever came out as a book. Barb shared these questions on our website and I um journaled through all of them over the course of months, I think but.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I still like to do that. That's my favorite way to do that, but I'm not going to do that right now, obviously, I'm just going to pray out loud as I go. Uh, so I am doing insecurity, feeling inadequate.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

Right, and the Lord's asking me it Okay, right. And the Lord's asking me why do you think you're inadequate, heidi? Oh Lord, I feel like everything I do for my mother-in-law it's never done well enough or it's never done with enough thought or care or concern to what she likes. From her perspective, it feels as though it's thrown back at my face, as though I am the most selfish person on the planet. Feels as though it's thrown back at my face as though I am the most selfish person on the planet.

Speaker 1:

When I thought I've gone out of my way to be really thoughtful of her, like when she came home from the hospital, I chose to hire somebody to clean up some of the mess that is left when somebody is terribly sick, so she could come back to a really nice, well-cleaned environment, had the carpets cleaned and everything, and all I felt from her was it wasn't good enough. It wasn't what she would have done. The second question is what do you think you have to do, or have to be, to be acceptable? That is a really good question, lauren. To Marilyn I probably won't be acceptable and that is something that is in her. Her son even told me not my husband, but his brother told me that mom is an alpha female. There is nothing another woman can do in her home that is good enough, and so I have to stop thinking that it's a reflection of me.

Speaker 1:

So I guess the answer, lord, is I couldn't do anything to be acceptable. No, not really. And your question to me is are you capable of making that happen right now? No, I'm not capable of being accepted. It's like, oh, a light bulb moment again in my mind. I can't do anything to be acceptable to Marilyn.

Speaker 1:

It makes me sad, but I know that it's not about me, even though it feels like it is Right. Right, what do you look like when you see yourself through the eyes of the world and or the eyes of your own expectations? I know I have been doing the best I can, maybe not with the greatest heart and spirit of love that I would like. I wish I was more loving. I wish I was more nurturing. Lord, would you please make me more loving and more nurturing.

Speaker 1:

But I know that, given so many things about my own life and history, I've really gone above and beyond what I ever dreamed I could do. I feel like you've given me a heart to do that and I'm so grateful that you have that. You've put it in my heart to love Marilyn well, and so really, I think is and I've heard this from people they've been very kind to speak it to me, including Michael's brother that there's nobody that could do what I'm doing. I mean and I don't mean that in a prideful way, I mean that number one I'm called and number two I'm equipped by you, lord, and really it's hard to do. It is hard to do to be in somebody else's home and have that sense of not doing it right.

Speaker 2:

You were just asking God to help you to be more loving to, to Marilyn. It's a beautiful prayer for in the moment because with your relationship with her, yeah, it's really really tough in this way. But as a person, heidi, you are loving and you are nurturing. As a person, and I've seen that with lots of people in your life and I've seen it with me many thousands of times. So, yes, in this situation, definitely ask for help, but just know that it's not, it doesn't define who you are, heidi.

Speaker 1:

That's a good point.

Speaker 2:

It doesn't define who you are.

Speaker 1:

That's true from God's perspective. Thank you for speaking that. And God asks me in question number five is that how God sees you? I think that he is seeing me as his beloved child. I am his servant and I am doing a lot of things that he has asked me to do in a very hard situation, and I think he's saying well done. I think he's got to be saying well done. Yeah, he knows how hard it is. Yes. Number six then says who are you in God's eyes and how does he feel about you? And we started off with the Bible verses. Why don't you tell me the answer to that, christina? You have just now a little, quite a little bit. But who am I in God's eyes? How does he feel about me? I?

Speaker 2:

would love to tell you that, because I know this answer. I know it, heidi you are chosen, you are beloved, you are cherished, you are washed clean, you are God's girl. God couldn't be happier to love on you, to provide for you, to take care of you. You are redeemed.

Speaker 1:

You are a masterpiece, thank you.

Speaker 2:

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I can go on, I can go on.

Speaker 1:

And listener. Maybe you should rewind the podcast to where Christina started that and know that it's true of you as well.

Speaker 1:

It is. You know, I have to admit that since this latest leg of the journey about two weeks ago, began, eating has been harder for me to not go to. I can tell that I am really not handling things well. I am going to a counterfeit comfort, and not as much as maybe in the past, but still I'm not turning like I want to to these truths that we're talking about, and this, to me, is what God. He loves it when we turn to him instead of to counterfeits. He knows it's best for us. He's as best for me to turn to him and as it is gratifying in an instant as turning to food maybe not, but it's longer lasting, it sticks with me.

Speaker 1:

It's like I'm working into the clay of my heart a truth, or many truths, that they're not going to go anywhere. They're still true today, tomorrow and forevermore. And I love just how rewarding it is when I step out in faith and say I am not going to go and buy a dozen donuts and I deserve a donut. When I choose instead to sit at his feet and hear from him, I have such a deep sense of it is well with my soul. It is well with my soul. There's peace, even now there's peace and I haven't even finished the question set.

Speaker 2:

I know Well, and for those of you out there who you know went to food last night or whatever, and you know, and I just want to say it makes sense, it's understandable, it's our old go-to, it's our old default and guess what? There is no condemnation in Christ. So, yeah, we struggle sometimes, absolutely, it makes sense. But, like you said, heidi, there is something that is so much better. It's so much better. And the more we practice that and the more we renew our minds with what is true, the more that will become our default. More and more We'll go to that. We'll go to the Lord and his truth.

Speaker 1:

Right. So number eight if the living God and I picture him saying this to me if I, the living God, king of the universe, you are acceptable, does anyone else, including you, have the right to say you're unacceptable? No, lord, nobody does, not, even my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law. I love that. And then number nine is is my love.

Speaker 2:

He says enough to satisfy you, even if you're not the person you want to be and yes it is, Lord it is, and these moments of prayer and mind renewal remind me of that.

Speaker 1:

And then I love that she asks, I think in every question set what can you thank God for in this situation? Would you help me right now, Christina, to thank God for whatever we can. You know, he doesn't say give thanks for all circumstances, he says give thanks in all circumstances. I think that is a very gracious difference. Yeah it definitely is. Lord I want to thank you for just the opportunity to grow in some really hard ways. I know I need to grow.

Speaker 2:

I'm so grateful that you have Blue there with you. Blue is Heidi and Michael's big, huge husky dog and he's like a big fluffy marshmallow and I love, love, love that. He is a blessing he is there with you during this time. I love that.

Speaker 1:

And I love that Blue is really. He's a ministering angel to Marilyn. I don't mean that literally don't send me hate mail, but really blue is a big joy to Marilyn's heart and everything else makes her grumpy. Blue usually doesn't.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

As long as she doesn't come in the backyard and see all the holes he's dug. Anyway, what else can we thank God for in this situation?

Speaker 2:

I am so thankful that you have that beautiful little cottage that Michael built for you so you can have a detached office to do your work and have your space. What a gift that is. That is an amazing gift during this time it is. I'm so thankful.

Speaker 1:

And I'm really grateful, lord, for just some of the silly conversations that Marilyn and I have that are lighthearted, where she's showing me some ridiculous things she's found on Facebook to laugh over, and those moments mean a lot to me and I thank you for that. So, really, this is how I like to use this resource. I deserve a donut and other lies that make you eat by Barb Raveling. And again, it's an app, free app or a book. I think the book is probably 10 bucks or something like that, so she closes each little chapter with subjects like possible things you'll need to accept.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and possible things you'll need to confess. So I feel like I don't want to skip those. I'll just share with you what she says about possible things I will need to accept and again I turn this God is speaking this to me, not literally, because this isn't written by God, but I think he uses it. Yes, Possible things that I'll need to accept is that I will never be as good as I want to be and that.

Speaker 1:

I can't hide my faults and sins from others and that I can't live life without messing up at times. Right, that is so true. And if I can't live life without messing up, I better have a good strategy for look and learn, like learning from my mess ups and letting God teach me through them. And then the other section is possible things you'll need to confess, caring more about becoming a perfect person than about loving God and others. Well, yeah, I don't really think that affects me as much, but I really want everybody else to love me. That's a little bit of a problem.

Speaker 2:

Well, you do have a lot of people who love you, so that's not too big of a problem.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, and also getting yourself to love and accept others. When my focus is on Marilyn in this case and the lack of love and acceptance I feel from her, I tend to get so self-absorbed it's all about me and she hurt my feelings and I can't do it good enough, whereas if I'm focusing on loving her well and praying for her and encouraging her, it changes the whole thing around. It does.

Speaker 1:

And then the last thing it says possible things you'll need to confess. And then the last thing it says, possible things you'll need to confess Spending so much time trying to be acceptable in the world's eyes that you don't spend time with God.

Speaker 2:

Oh dear.

Speaker 1:

I think I'm safe from that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I am so proud of you. This has been a really, really tough journey and it's not over yet, and I am so proud of you. Thank you, you're welcome. We are so glad that you've been here today with us, as we've been having this very important discussion and hopefully, something that we've talked about has resonated with your heart as well.

Speaker 1:

Get this book you Want. I Deserve a Donut and Other Lies that Make you Eat. By Barb Raveling. It is really helpful.

Speaker 2:

It's a small little thing too. It's not overwhelming at all. It's a little tiny book. Anyway, we hope that you will join us next time for our next Revelation Within On the go.

Speaker 1:

Go, go, go, Go, go go. See you next time. Bye for now, bye-bye.

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