Embracing Grace: The True Meaning of Look and Learn

Have you ever beaten yourself up after failing, believing harsh self-criticism would lead to positive change? The "Look and Learn" tool is meant for mind renewal, yet many have turned it into another form of self-punishment. Instead of viewing failure through a lens of shame, Scripture invites us to embrace God's grace. Romans 8:1 reminds us there is no condemnation for those in Christ, and Psalm 103:12 assures us that our transgressions are removed as far as the east is from the west. God isn't standing at a distance in disappointment—He draws near with compassion and restoration.

When practiced as intended, Look and Learn becomes grace in motion, strengthening intimacy with God rather than pushing Him away. It shifts our perspective from self-rejection to redemption, helping us replace lies with life-giving truth. Every failure becomes a seed for growth, ensuring nothing is wasted in God's economy. Instead of running to condemnation, run to grace. Ask what God wants to reveal, and let this powerful tool guide you into freedom, intimacy, and transformation. Ready to change how you handle failure? Listen now and discover the true meaning of Look and Learn.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Look and Learn
• 5:18 Dismantling the Lies About Failure
• 11:58 What Look and Learn Is Not
• 18:56 No Condemnation: Scripture's Promise
• 24:05 Grace in Motion: What Look and Learn Is
• 25:47 Seeing Through God's Eyes
• 27:04 Growing from Mess to Victory
• 30:16 Final Encouragement and Closing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Hi and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within On the Go.

Speaker 2: 0:07

I'm Heidi Viles-Mapperson, one of your hosts and the owner and lead coach of the RevelationWithinorg ministry, and I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within, and we're so happy to invite you to join us today for this episode of Revelation Within on the go.

Speaker 1: 0:38

Oh, yay. Well, hey, friends, welcome to another episode of the Revelation Within podcast. Welcome to another episode of the Revelation Within Podcast. Today we are exploring something that is really quite central to how we walk out mind renewal. Yes, it's our mind renewal tool called Look and Learn, and here's what we want you to know right up front, when we slip, stumble, slide or fall or even fail. It's not about beating yourself up, right? It's all about, yes, it's all about letting God speak into your story, into your narrative, with his amazing grace.

Speaker 2: 1:20

Oh my gosh, I love that, heidi, I love that it's about letting God speak into your story with grace. I love that, Heidi. I love that. It's about letting God speak into your story with grace. I love it.

Speaker 1: 1:29

So why don't you give us an example of when you used to use look and learn, and it wasn't with grace.

Speaker 2: 1:38

Oh, when I used to use well, that really wasn't look and learn what I used to do. I mean, for many, many, many years. You know I struggled with all kinds of things, not just food and eating issues, but we all struggle with oh, I shouldn't have said that to my husband, or, you know, I didn't do a good job here, or this didn't work out because I procrastinated or whatever it was, and so what I used to do is exactly what you just said. I would beat myself up and I would say things, especially in my mind, where people couldn't hear. I would say things like I can't believe you did that, or what is the matter with you, christina, can't you get it together? Why can't you be like her? Or you know, you should have blah, blah, blah. You should have blah blah blah.

Speaker 2: 2:27

I mean, I was pretty mean to myself in my own mind.

Speaker 1: 2:31

It's like you reamed yourself over the coals.

Speaker 2: 2:34

Yes, it is. I mean, I didn't know and I know I've said this so many times, but I didn't know that my thoughts, what was going on in my brain, in my mind, was so important and that it was actually deciding for me what I was going to do in the next moment, in the next afternoon, in the next day, the next week. I did not know that, I did not realize and I think for a long, long time I believed that I needed to hate myself into positive change, and it's just not possible.

Speaker 1: 3:10

I kind of did. I used the tool that we are calling look and learn like a spiritual post-mortem. I really did. I'd pick apart what I did wrong, always with the spirit of self-condemnation. I would try to vow never to do it again and basically beat myself up in the process and walk away discouraged. And then what did I end up? Needing Comfort is what I would go back to. In my case, the biggest counterfeit comfort that I would turn to again and again was overeating, and so I would go back to food again and again. That's not what God intended. To try to beat ourselves up or to look at what happened with this just condemning lens. It's not what we teach at Revelation Within either. Yay.

Speaker 2: 4:00

Oh my gosh. Well, and the other thing and I know I've talked about this too the other thing I would do is I felt like I had to kind of wallow, I had to kind of sit in the mud for a while and I would fill up journals and journals and I wrote about it enough. If I let several days past, if I felt really, really bad enough, then I would change and I did that for years.

Speaker 1: 4:35

Yeah, I would try to cry enough tears and I just I could cry a river and it wouldn't work. Yeah, no.

Speaker 2: 4:41

Yeah, right All right?

Speaker 1: 4:42

Well, let's dismantle the lies, because we have all used this powerful tool the wrong way. I hate to say wrong, but it is it's wrong.

Speaker 2: 4:51

It is the wrong way. It's a way toward more and more failure, and discouragement is what it is.

Speaker 1: 4:57

Yes, yes, and if you, or somebody you know, or whatever, grew up with this standard of perfectionism, legalism or like a deeply critical inner voice and you know it, if it's you, this is going to really speak to that today. What look and learn really is about. But we're going to start off with what it's not.

Speaker 2: 5:21

So the first one, christina, the first one is it's not self-condemnation, so it's not rehearsing what you did wrong to make yourself feel bad.

Speaker 1: 5:33

And it's not dragging your past failure around like a punishment, it's not that you know beating myself up with. Look at what I did. It was awful, it was stupid, it was really ridiculous.

Speaker 2: 5:44

Oh my gosh, and how many of us do that all the time. And here, our coworkers, our family members, our friends we're kind of listening to that all the time, aren't we? Yeah, it's kind of a common way to deal with things like that. Okay, here's another. It's not. It's not Look and learn, is not assigning yourself permanent labels based on temporary mistakes, like I am a no good for nothing.

Speaker 1: 6:14

Or I'm just a big lazy glutton. Yeah, no, that's not. Yeah, no, no.

Speaker 2: 6:19

Yes, or I'm not smart enough, I'm not equipped, I don't know. I you know, I've heard a lot of people say I just don't get this. I must not be smart enough.

Speaker 1: 6:30

Or my body must be broken.

Speaker 2: 6:32

Yes, I just had another thought when you mentioned, heidi, about growing up with perfectionism and legalism and that deeply critical inner voice A lot of people on the very other end of it grew up with. Like no boundaries, you know, it was just kind of a free for all Do whatever you want, raise yourself, you know, you go Whatever feels good. And I think that that is just as bad in this situation, because we've never been taught how to deal with this in a healthy, an emotional, healthy way, and we've certainly not brought God into it almost most of the time.

Speaker 1: 7:11

Right. Well, we've got some verses, too, that we want to share with the listeners. Romans 8, 1 brings this point home that it is not self-condemnation that scripture says. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Speaker 2: 7:29

Yes, love that, and it's not. You know, it's very decisive. It is no, absolutely no. There is no condemnation John 3.17, which comes right after John 3.16, that everybody knows For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. And I know in my life I feel like he's saving me every day, again and again. I mean, yes, there's that one moment where I made the decision for Christ and I'm saved for all eternity. But he's involved, he's active, he's saving me every single day.

Speaker 1: 8:13

I love that. Psalm 103, verse 12, says as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. We don't need to wallow, like you said, christina, we don't need to rehearse them and review them. God has thrown our sins, our mess ups as far as the East is from the West.

Speaker 2: 8:35

Yay, well, and how far is that really? That's infinitely far. I love the way that's written. Okay, isaiah 43, 25. I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake and remembers your sins no more.

Speaker 1: 8:59

Thank you Lord, thank you Lord. That's so sweet isn't?

Speaker 2: 9:03

it. Yes, it really is. It's incredibly sweet. It's so loving so loving Micah, 7.19,.

Speaker 1: 9:17

you will again have compassion on us. You will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. So he's not camping on top of them saying oh, don't walk away. You have forgotten this. Come and remember how rotten you were. He doesn't do that to us.

Speaker 1: 9:29

Not at all. He treads our sins underfoot, hurls all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. God's word could not be clearer he doesn't condemn us. No, he doesn't. If you are using look and learn to shame yourself, you're probably listening to the wrong voice.

Speaker 2: 9:49

Yes, we want God's voice. Okay, so what about this? It's also look and learn is not punishing yourself into change, so it's not vowing to do better next time through self-hatred. And that was me. Again and again, I'll do better, I promise I'll get myself together. Oh, you know, it's just that I'm going to pull myself up, I'm going to figure it out, I'm going to do better and I'm going to check the days off on the calendar and then everything's going to be okay. No, no, that's not what look and learn is, and I'm so grateful for that.

Speaker 1: 10:29

And another thing about this is it's not replaying the failure on loop as some sort of penance going over and over again in my mind what it is I did wrong and how often I've done it wrong and how that's going to get me in a heap of trouble or world of hurt or whatever. No, to get me in a heap of trouble or world of hurt or whatever. No, that's not. Look and learn, for sure.

Speaker 2: 10:49

Whoa. And this one look and learn is not trying to beat the flesh with the flesh. Whoa, that's really convicting, I mean. It takes me back in a good way. It takes me back to the days that I would put on clothes that were too small to punish myself, like a pair of jeans that when you sit down it cuts you in half. You know those kinds and why. Why would I even wear those?

Speaker 1: 11:18

So you would remember not to eat all day? Yes, and did it work?

Speaker 2: 11:23

No, no, in fact, it did exactly the opposite, because I felt so bad and so uncomfortable and so full of shame in those tight jeans that I ate more. I ate more to comfort myself.

Speaker 1: 11:40

Yes, that was my reality, I think a lot of us try to beat the flesh with the flesh, and one of the ways we do that is with the bathroom scale when it comes to food and eating.

Speaker 1: 11:51

So it might be the clothes that are too small, but it might also be. I'm going to get on that scale and I'm going to see how ugly that number is and I'm going to record it on the wall so my husband can see it, my kids can see it and maybe then I'll take it seriously and get some of this weight. Well, that's not what God's about. That's not look and learn from God's perspective. No, way.

Speaker 2: 12:12

It doesn't at all line up with who he is. You can't shame yourself into Christ likeness. That's not the gospel, that's just religion. Yeah, religion.

Speaker 1: 12:27

The third thing that look and learn is not is it's not attributing a harshness to God's voice. This is huge. I think a lot of us tend to think that God speaks to us with a wagging finger in our face, so we don't want to mistake the Holy Spirit for a disapproving boss or a critical parent. No, no, no, that's not his voice.

Speaker 2: 12:49

No, that's not his voice. Look and learn. Is also not thinking this is huge, this is so big. Not thinking that God is shaking his head in disappointment. You can't let God down. No, he's not holding you up and he's not. I mean. Let's just say that out loud together. God is not disappointed in you. Amen, he's not. He's not One more time. God is not disappointed in me or you or anybody out there. That's not who he is. That's not from the word of God out there.

Speaker 1: 14:33

That's not who he is, that's not from the word of God. Another thing that this kind of includes, you know, attributing what do we attribute to God in this? Is that he is kind of distanced himself from us. So God is not going to be emotionally distant or spiritually aloof because of my mess ups, because of my slips, stumbles, falls or failures. He is not. He is always imminently close. He draws in. He gave Jesus so that we would never have to experience him turning his back on us. He is a lover of our souls.

Speaker 2: 15:06

Oh, just keep talking, keep talking.

Speaker 1: 15:09

It's important to recognize that his correction is always wrapped in love. Yes, of course he's holy and he does allow us to be chastised or disciplined, but he doesn't belittle, he restores. I love this truth because it's so vital, it's life-giving. His voice leads to life, not to this condemnation and joylessness and dreariness. And I've been shamed. Shame isn't from him, no, godly conviction yes, but not shame.

Speaker 2: 15:45

And that godly conviction is always gentle and specific and kind and full of compassion. That's who he is. Just in case you're wondering the difference, because I needed to know that a lot of times. Yes, Okay, Number four what else is look and learn? Not? It's not trusting in your own understanding. What?

Speaker 1: 16:10

I should just get rid of that food. If I can't stop eating it, I should just jettison it from the house.

Speaker 2: 16:15

Yeah, and I should just do this, or I should just stop it. I should exercise more, I should go on that exercise plan that's on the internet all the time, on Instagram or whatever. I should, I should, I should, I should, no, no, that's trusting in your own understanding, mm-hmm Right, so it's not trying to figure out everything apart from God. Not at all. I mean, we know, we know this doesn't work, we know it doesn't work.

Speaker 1: 16:55

it doesn't work. It's not analyzing every misstep as if you have to be your own savior. You are your own functional Messiah. You know what plan am I going to start on Monday in order to fix this? I mean, really, that's what ends up happening, for so many of us is we think I messed up. I need to fix it. What will I do to save myself? Yeah, and that's not what look and learn is either.

Speaker 2: 17:15

I'm going to buy this book. I'm going to do this, this plan, with my coworkers, whatever it is. Yeah, I love that. That's not what look and learn is.

Speaker 1: 17:24

I love that I love it so much.

Speaker 2: 17:27

Also, look and learn is not relying on self-improvement instead of spiritual insight. That's not what this is. No. Proverbs 3, 5, and 6, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, submit to him and he will make your path straight. I mean, that's pretty clear, isn't it? And he uses words like all and all. Again, you know he uses words that are extreme because he wants all our heart and he wants us to go to him for absolutely everything. Look and learn is not a solo activity. It's an invitation to dialogue with God, not dissect yourself in isolation. Wow, wow.

Speaker 1: 18:22

That's so true. You know the reason why I wanted us to do a podcast on this and we're getting to the. What look and learn is here in a minute.

Speaker 1: 18:29

Yeah, the reason I wanted to do this podcast episode and I think Christina agrees we have heard so many people who have learned about look and learn and they know that it's a way of handling your failure, your disappointments in what you're trying to do to honor God. But they tell us what it was that they attribute to God, what he said to do, and it sounds punitive, it sounds self condemning, it sounds and it's like oh, no, no, no, no, no. Somewhere along the way there's been something lost in the translation, so we thought we needed to be sure that we said it again, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 19:09

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 19:10

So let's talk about what look and learn is, now that we've cleared away the shame and the striving, let's talk about what it really is and how it leads to healing and growth and freedom and a total experience of God's grace in the moment. This is what I love about this tool is it is how we experience we taste daily, daily, daily God's grace, saturating our lives. Yes, oh, I love that. Yeah, me too. The first thing is look and learn is grace in motion.

Speaker 2: 19:51

Ooh grace in motion, I love that I love it.

Speaker 1: 19:56

It's an ongoing rhythm of grace, not just a one-time act of penance or oh my gosh, forgive me God, and now I will be fixed forever or I will beat myself up. No, no, no, it's every day. We use it every day, don't we Christine? Every day, every single day, every single day, Every day, Every single day.

Speaker 2: 20:13

Okay, Look and learn is also a tool God uses to draw us back, not push us away. It's something that draws us into God's own heart. It actually builds the intimacy between us and the Lord. It actually increases our relationship with him I mean, he's always the same, of course, but for us to feel more safe, more loved and then again throwing that shame out the window. Shame is not from God.

Speaker 1: 20:47

Mm-mm, and along those lines too, this grace, grace in motion, is, and look and learn when it's done the way God intends. I think it's a process of welcoming God to lovingly parent me.

Speaker 2: 21:02

And.

Speaker 1: 21:03

I'm experiencing that, nurturing that loving, kind tenderness of the Holy Spirit, that look and learn, should be characterized by those things. If I'm really in the right frame of mind, as I'm doing it, I'm going to God and he is lovingly parenting me with the spirit inside of me.

Speaker 2: 21:25

When we stumble, god isn't surprised. You know he doesn't withdraw, that's not from the word of God. He actually leans in, he's already there. He never, ever, ever leaves our side, but he leans in ready to teach and restore. That's what his purpose is.

Speaker 1: 21:46

I love that. One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 33, 3. God says call to me and I will answer you and I'll tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. This is so much better than me trying to sit down and figure out. What can I do, what can I generate, how can I change things around? He will tell me what I need to know. I need to be quiet with him, be still and know he is God. Really, look and learn is a conversation.

Speaker 2: 22:25

It is, it is.

Speaker 1: 22:26

You know, god, what happened here? What do I need to know? What do you want to show me? And he responds because, simply, he wants to.

Speaker 2: 22:36

Yes, because he loves us. He loves us, he wants us to be free. Okay, what else is look and learn? Oh, I love this one so much too. Look and learn is seeing through God's eyes, looking at our failure the way he does with redemption, not rejection. We tend to reject ourselves, we tend to do that ourselves, but that's not what God does, that's not who he is, that's not how he sees us.

Speaker 1: 23:13

That's not who he is, that's not how he sees us. That's beautiful. Another wonderful aspect to seeing with God's eyes as we look and learn is he will give us eyes to see the patterns that we need to see the lies that the enemy tries to hide. He will expose those. If we welcome him to do so and if we're open to his voice not our own cleverness again, but him we're going to see those patterns and see those lies and we can refute them with his beautiful, beautiful, life-giving truth.

Speaker 2: 23:43

Yes, and then look and learn is hearing God say something like this. Let me show you something deeper here. I mean, I can think of so many examples and I know, heidi, we've shared examples for years of times where we thought, well, it might be this, or it might be that we go to the Lord and he shows us and it's like, oh my gosh, I never would have seen that, I never would have seen that, I never would have guessed that that's why I was continuing on in that destructive pattern or making that particular mistake or whatever it was. And then, once we know why, then we can take that, we can look at the lies that are leading us to that and refute those with truth and we can actually move forward. We can move on and let those old patterns go which is so hopeful and so amazing it is.

Speaker 2: 24:40

It's not about what you did. It's about what you believe. Look and learn helps you uncover the lie behind the behavior, and then we can replace it with truth. Yay. No more condemnation, just truth. Oh, what a relief. This is so amazing.

Speaker 1: 25:00

I love it. Oh, I do too. The third thing we're going to talk about, as far as look and learn and what it is, is it's a way to grow from mess to victory. I love that.

Speaker 2: 25:12

Yeah, I love that too my messes don't have to define me.

Speaker 1: 25:16

The victory can, and really every single failure becomes a seed for growth. I can learn so much from these look and learn sessions. When I think of my mess ups, I could probably learn at least three things from each mess up. I can learn from the Lord. It gives me his wisdom where before I had these fleshly examples of going off the rails? That's a great trade because our God is redeemer. He redeems the mess and gives growth instead.

Speaker 2: 25:51

I love that he gives victory instead, he does, he does, he makes beauty from the ashes. So and I love this truth Nothing is wasted. Not even your worst day is wasted, or your worst season, or your worst year or whatever, but oftentimes it has to do with in the moment. It's like, ah no, nothing is wasted, you don't have to worry about that anymore. God will use every detail to grow you, to teach you and to move you forward, which feels amazing, forward, which feels amazing. I mean, I used to think I had wasted so much time and I thought I can't get that time back. What have I done? No, nothing is wasted.

Speaker 1: 26:43

Nothing is wasted with our amazing loving God. It's important for us to recognize especially those of us who have a spirit of perfectionism that.

Speaker 1: 26:49

God is still growing us out of that. Victory isn't perfection. I like to think of it as being perfectly imperfect. Yes, because when I mess up, I am going to God, which is what I'm supposed to do, and it's life-giving to do that. It's learning and moving forward in grace and with the grace giver as my guide, it's a beautiful thing. What I love about look and learn, done in a way that God is leading me and he's the guide and he's giving grace, is that he equips me for victory the next time. So, if all things are equal or just about, I have what I need, I can prepare for whatever situation if I need to, and I can execute the plan that God gave me, even with the mind and all strategies in place that God gave me, and I can experience grace in that as well. You know, the enemy wants us to hide in shame and God wants us to learn and rise up in truth. I love that.

Speaker 2: 27:58

I love that too. I love that and I love that you said what you said about hiding, because that's a big one for us, isn't it Hiding in shame? No more hiding. Let's shine the light on everything and bring it to the Lord. There is no condemnation in Christ. There is no shame, no need to hide at all. Isn't that just so freeing it?

Speaker 2: 28:22

feels so good even to say that Romans 8, 28 says and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. He's working for us. He's for us. This is going to be good. It's going to be better and better. Look and learn moves us forward. I know I've said that a couple of times, but that keeps coming to my mind.

Speaker 1: 28:47

Joel 2, 25 says you know, this is the Lord's own word I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten. Think about that for a minute. If you have struggled with any counterfeit comfort for any length of time at all whether it's food and eating, or your body image, or it might be a shopping issue or scrolling on social media, whatever it might be God wants to restore anything that's been lost, because he is a restorer, he is a repairer, he is a redeemer. Yes, and look and learn is the greatest way to do this. It absolutely is. So the next time you mess up and we all will, yes, you will let's have a plan. Let's not run to condemnation or even a fake version of look and learn, which really is another form of condemnation if you do it that way Right.

Speaker 1: 29:46

Let's run to grace, let's just embrace him and let him embrace us and delight over us with singing. Crawl up into his lap. He'll comfort us with his love. Grab your journal, I mean you can. You don't have to have a journal, you can just speak it to him. But ask the Lord, what do you want to show me from this? Let look and learn. Be what it was always meant to be for you A tool of intimacy, a tool of redemption, a tool of renewal, and really it's filled with sanctification, forgiveness, all of those good words from the word of God. It's really, really good.

Speaker 2: 30:25

Oh, I love that. Heidi, thank you for sharing that so beautifully with me today. Wow, we hope that that has been an encouragement to somebody out there.

Speaker 1: 30:37

It has to me.

Speaker 2: 30:39

I need to hear the truth again and again, and Heidi and I are just grinning ear to ear over here.

Speaker 1: 30:46

I can't wait to go look and learn. I know because I probably already need to exactly.

Speaker 2: 30:53

So be sure to join us for our next episode of Revelation Within on the go. We'll see you next time bye for now.