Revelation Within On the Go!

Hunger or Something Else?

• Heidi Bylsma-Epperson and Christina Motley • Season 2 • Episode 49

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What if your strongest cravings aren’t about food at all? As we talk through this topic together, we admit how often our cravings have nothing to do with actual hunger. We share openly about the ways we’ve reached for food, scrolling, or constant busyness when what our hearts really needed was comfort, truth, or simply God’s presence. We walk through the lies we’ve believed—“I deserve this,” “This will help,” “I’m on my own”—and how we’ve learned to exchange them for steadier promises: God is near to the brokenhearted, He satisfies the longing soul, and in Christ, we are never condemned.

We also get practical about what helps us in the moment: the “emergency kits” we each keep nearby—devotionals, warm tea, encouraging notes, different Bible translations, worship playlists, and written truth statements. We describe the mind-renewal practices that have genuinely helped us shift our focus: gratitude liturgy, praise moments that celebrate who God is, and simple prayers that invite the Holy Spirit into the empty spaces we used to fill with numbing. We share tender stories from seasons of care-giving, illness, and loss, and how grieving honestly—yet with gratitude—lightened the load. Our hope is to help you treat hunger with curiosity instead of panic, letting the Lord meet you right where you are.

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SPEAKER_02:

Hi, and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within on the Go. I am Heidi Wilton Epherson, one of your hosts, and the owner and lead coach of the RevelationWithin.org industry.

SPEAKER_00:

And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach, and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within. We are so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, we are so glad you're here. What we have on top for you today is a pretty deeply honest episode. Because let's face it, let's just say it. Sometimes we think we're hungry, but it's actually not our bodies asking for food.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Anybody in the room anybody in the room, hands are going up. All the hands are going up. All the hands are going up.

SPEAKER_02:

Um and so today we're talking about what happens when our hunger is emotional or spiritual or just plain not rooted in physical need. Um and to be honest with you, Christine and I both know from decades of being connected with this ministry in some way or another, this can be one of the most confusing and discouraging aspects of this journey for people. Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Would you say so? Oh, absolutely, absolutely. And I think about when I came to Thin Within now, Revelation Within, emotional eating, eating for any kind of emotional reason, that was my biggest stumble, stumbling block or obstacle. Or I mean, I struggled with that every day, many times a day, many times a day. Um, whether it was, you know, sadness or stress or procrastination or I mean any number of things, exhaustion, whatever, I would eat over it all the time. We're gonna talk about that today, which hopefully will really be so relevant for all of us. Here at Revelation Within, we always, always, always start with God. And here's always and here's the question he's been asking since the Garden of Eden from Genesis 3:9. Where are you?

SPEAKER_02:

I'm sitting in my chair at my desk in my office.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, and I'm sitting in my little office in in Colorado as well. But where are you? Where's your heart? Where's your mind? Where are you? So when I feel a craving that isn't physical hunger, what's really going on inside of me? Is it loneliness? Is it boredom? What about fatigue, insecurity? I mean, I could probably list a hundred reasons why I have eaten for so many years that it has nothing to do with physical hunger.

SPEAKER_02:

Seriously. I got your beat. I think I could list 200. Oh, so true. So much of what we try to fix or satisfy with food is actually a longing for something so much deeper. Yes. And food is only a temporary fix. It's not even a fix, temporary or otherwise, for what that deeper longing is longing for. You know, it may numb us out or soothe us for a second, but food will never fill the ache in our soul that is there. There's other things that we need to get in the habit of turning to to fill that hole that might be present. So let's start by looking at some scripture together. Great. Isaiah 55, verse 2. Why spend money on what is not bread and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, God says, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fair. Well, that really hits home.

SPEAKER_00:

Is that really in the Bible?

SPEAKER_01:

Really?

SPEAKER_02:

That's amazing. It's like it's like God is asking me in this passage, why are you settling? Oh, yes. You know, I mean, think about that. Emotional eating is really trying to buy satisfaction from the wrong store. It's it's a store that sells something else. Oh, and God, though, is offering real soul-satisfying food.

SPEAKER_00:

That's a really, really good way to look at it, Heidi. I like that. Um, John 6 35 says, Then Jesus declared, I am the bread of life. He called himself bread. I love that. I know. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

SPEAKER_02:

So I mean, you notice those words, never in there. I love it.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. And bread and hungry and thirsty. But what is he really talking about? Is he talking about, well, sourdough or wheat bread or I mean, what's he talking about? Is it gluten free? It's not wrong to be hungry, but we need to ask: okay, what kind of hunger is this that I'm experiencing? And then what kind of nourishment does this hunger really need?

SPEAKER_02:

You know, that's so true. I mean, really, the only kind of hunger that physical food will satisfy is physical hunger. Yep, it's true. All the other kinds of hunger. We gotta do something different.

SPEAKER_00:

But I've tried so hard over the years to fill that need with food. I've tried so hard. Right. It doesn't work, it doesn't work. It actually causes me to feel worse.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. Talk about beating myself up after, yeah. You try to satisfy a longing with physical food, and that longing is not a physical longing. And really, we end up beating ourselves up on top of that sideways step. So here at Revelation Within, those of you who are listening might know we teach about the intentions of spirit-led eating. Yes. And of course, these are include things like continuing to do my life until I have a clear hunger signal, inviting God into my eating experience, choosing food that honors my body and blesses and honors him. But what happens when there's no physical hunger, just an ache of some kind, or maybe physical pain? I know a lot of us have different aches and pains, and sometimes it feels like food is the answer to that. Because the truth is, it does make us feel better for a minute.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, even half a minute, really. I think it's about half a minute. So that's such a good question, Heidi. What do we do? And I was never taught, you know. I mean, um, nobody taught me what do you do? How do you deal with your emotions in a healthy way? And it's like, well, our emotions are important. It's uh so okay, maybe I'll just distract myself and I'll just like shove all the emotions under a rug. And is that gonna help? No, that doesn't help either. So, what what is the key to this? And it's what we call the renewing of the mind.

SPEAKER_02:

We I bet you've heard that before.

SPEAKER_00:

Every single podcast we talk about mind renewal because it is that it is life-changing, it is transformative, and it's it's God's answer to this, um, which is where we really, really want to go. We want to invite God in, not just to help us eat better, but to see more clearly what's really going on and to speak truth over the lies that have driven us to food for years and years and years.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So, all right, let I'll bite. Let what lies might be lurking there? What lies might be lurking there? So here are some. And um, we've seen these lies sneak into our lives when we're emotionally or spiritually hungry. Okay, how about I deserve this? Oh, really? Oh, um, yeah, well, I won't I won't act that one out because it's obvious. I need a treat. Yeah, how about this will make me feel better? Okay, and that's tricky because you know what? It kind of is like an upgrade to whatever's going on in my life, but it's an upgrade with a real hefty price. Yeah, and then another lie that kind of sneaks in I'm not loved. The sleeve of cookies is gonna make me know I'm loved. Yeah. No. No. But we tried, we've tried.

SPEAKER_00:

If it would have worked, we would have known. Yeah, we've really experimented with this for decades.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. How about I'm all alone? God doesn't care. Oh my goodness. This feeling will never pass, it'll always be this way. Oh boy, those are depressing.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, they're awful. But these lies, I mean, they are so strong, aren't they? When they come to us in these moments, we are longing for these lies to be answered with truth. So here comes the truth. Let's get to the truth. Let's not dwell on those lies because they are just gonna take us down, down, down. But what is the truth? Psalm 34, 18. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. That is the truth. He's close to the brokenhearted. So if you want to eat because you're feeling brokenhearted, the Lord is close. He's our source for comfort. He's he's the best source, really the only source for the depth of comfort that a person who is brokenhearted needs. And Heidi and I both get that very, very much. Here's another one, Psalm 107, verse 9. He satisfies the longing soul. There it is. Yeah, I mean, this is God's answer. God's answer is actually himself, his answer is his own presence for us. Oh, that's beautiful. How about Hebrews 13:5? You are not alone, he will never leave you. And that's all over the Bible. There's so many places that it talks about God being close and God being with us in whatever it is that we're dealing with. He is with us, we are not alone ever. And then Romans 8:1. There is no condemnation in Christ. We are not being condemned. We are not. We are free from condemnation, we are free from shame. We are free.

SPEAKER_02:

And I don't know about you, but I have never been able to hate myself into a positive change. Like we sure have trials, yeah. Why do I keep eating like this when I'm sad or whatever it might be? And you know, just so there's context here, let's you and I, Christina, rattle off some of the trials we've experienced in the last 11 years that we've known one another. Oh. And have been in this together. All right, you name one that you've uh had to endure.

SPEAKER_00:

Caregiving for my parents. My mom had Alzheimer's 10-year journey.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, caregiving of my very what is a good word for it, my mother-in-law, who was very uncooperative. Let's put it that way.

SPEAKER_00:

Also caregiving for um my mother-in-law until she passed in our home.

SPEAKER_02:

Mm-hmm. And uh the dissolution of my first marriage.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, chronic Lyme disease. I have had it for almost 12 years.

SPEAKER_02:

Mm-hmm. And a massive health crisis and losing the use of my legs and my athletic ability and so on.

SPEAKER_00:

A very difficult season with my youngest daughter who was struggling with depression and anxiety and illness.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, wow. We could we could go on. I mean, there were parents who were sick, there were kids who were sick, there are in our lives family members who want to transition. And I mean, that really the list goes on and on. And every single one of those, well, I got married, I bought a house. I mean, like all even those good things can have uh emotional reactions for me that make me want to run to food. Sometimes I want to run to food because of any kind of change, whether it's difficult or happy or whatever. Anyway, so we can identify with feeling sad, feeling emotional, and so on. Sometimes what we call emotional eating, I have to really reel this truth in. Sometimes what I have called emotional eating is actually spiritual starvation. Wow, that's so, so powerful. Yeah, it's like I go into starvation mode, only it's I don't mean it physically. My soul is just depleted. If I haven't spent time letting God fill me up, I want to fill the void with almost anything to keep me from feeling. That's been a really strong habit in my life. Is uh it may not be food as often as it used to be, but scrolling or shopping or doing anything mindless so I don't have to feel. But certainly it sometimes is snacks as well.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So I mean, many of you are relating to us, I'm thinking, and I'm thinking, well, that's me, well, that's me, well, that's been me for so many years. But we don't want to shame ourselves for it because that's not of God, and that goes absolutely nowhere. We are nowhere, nowhere good at all. And again, there's no condemnation in Christ. So get that shame out of there. That is not from the Lord. Let's let what is happening be a signal to go deeper with God when we're feeling such a pull to food or to something that is numbing us, or like you said, it's mindless. And then afterwards, we often feel worse because we spend all that time on something mindless. Instead, ask, Lord, what do I really need right now? But God, what do you want me to give me instead? What's going on? Why am I feeling this way? And sometimes that's hard. I mean, we get it. It can be really hard to stop in the moment, especially when we've had the same response to a certain emotion or maybe all the emotions for so many years. But the more you practice, the more you will see that it's really life-giving to stop and check in with the Lord. What's going on? I wasn't drawn to food at all yesterday. Today I want to eat everything in the kitchen. What's there? There's something there. There's a reason for that.

SPEAKER_02:

You know what I'd like us to do? Let's take a moment right now, Christina, and share maybe one or two favorite tools that connect us with the Lord in a way that feels like it's filling us up. And, you know, asking these questions of the Lord, what do I really need right now? What do you want to give me instead? Is really a wise place to start. But you know, sometimes I have found, and I bet you have too, that when I'm in that place where I just want to scroll or I want to eat or snack or whatever it might be, that I'm not as willing to open my Bible and just say, okay, God speak. I'm not as willing. So I've got to have something that is kind of its own reward in some ways. And and to be honest with you, that's one reason why we encourage people to build an emergency kit. Yeah. So that when you find yourself backed up against a wall, going, I want to eat my way through the house and the kitchen and everything else, you have something you can turn to. How would you describe the emergency basket?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's such a great idea. It's a wonderful tool that we have. So, and it doesn't have to be a basket. It can be anything, but basically it's a go-to, it's something that's already there, something you prepared ahead of time when you were not emotional, when you were not struggling. And so you can go to that basket and find whatever is life-giving for you there. Maybe it's uh, maybe it's a special devotion. Maybe it's little little cards, and you're gonna write cards of encouragement to somebody. Um, maybe it's, you know, we have those adult coloring books. Some of us like to do that. I've been doing those during my infusions at the hospital. You know, it can be any number of things. I like to put things in there that bring happy memories and joyful feelings, pictures, cards from people, those kinds of things. Um, what do you like to put in your emergency kit, Heidi?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I definitely like if I receive a note from somebody that's encouraging, I'll slip it in there and reread it during those times. And it really helps with some of the lies that we were talking about earlier to refute them. Like, I'm all alone, nobody cares, that sort of thing. And yet, here's a note from any one of our amazing women, usually in our community, speaking truth to me about the value they place on what we teach. And it feels so validating and affirming. And also reminds me of what I really stand for. So that's helpful for me. Uh, I also like to have uh a favorite mug, and maybe I will put even a packet or two of my favorite tea. I don't like tea normally, but there's one kind of tea I do enjoy. I might put it in there because there's something about holding a warm mug of something that is just so comforting and it fills those empty places as well. God uses that. I think it comes back to what does He use to satisfy me? Of course, I love having a favorite version of the Bible in there that I don't use as often as the one I use regularly. So, like I might have um, I don't know, a living translation. I have a message translation of the Bible that I might pull out. Again, like Christina said, might be a devotional book or it might even be a Bible study. My daughter used to work for Intervarsity Press, which I was so spoiled when she worked for that. She would give me all these amazing books and Bible studies, and there's a certain kind that I really like, and she bought them all for me with her discount and as a Christmas present one year. Anyway, so those are some of the things I like to put in there. How about you? Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00:

I was thinking maybe a nice smelling candle or lotion for your hands or just something, anything to engage you in the five senses, and just to turn your heart back to the Lord when you're just feeling like I want to grab at something that is not life-giving. And then you have this wonderful basket or tote bag, or maybe it's digital, maybe it's on your phone. Um, although many of us are trying not to be on our phone as much. Right. I have to stay off my phone. But for some of you, it might be more convenient to have like a playlist on your phone of you know, wonderful, beautiful, encouraging songs that that turn direct your heart back to the Lord. Or I have a ton of mind renewal tools on my phone. And so I will often go to my notes section and open something up, and I can just, it's right there. I can just read it out loud, pray through it, engage with the truth. And that will turn my heart in the most beautiful way toward the Lord.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you for sharing that. And then for me, I have to have at the ready, at the tip of my brain, a favorite mind renewal tool that if I haven't yet gotten to my emergency kit, I can just rattle off, if you will. That sounds so uh rote. And it kind of is at first, but my favorite for helping me to enter into God's presence and to even want to enter into God's presence is Lord, I love. And I do best when it's out loud. You know, Lord, I love how fun my dog is. He's so fun and so cuddly.

SPEAKER_00:

He is. What do you love? Lord, I love that I have seen all of my adult kids this week and I got to spend time with them, enjoy them, watch movies, have conversations. Oh, I love that so, so much. I love it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Lord, I love the beautiful oak trees that are surrounding my home.

SPEAKER_00:

And Lord, I love taking a walk outside and crunching all the leaves under my feet. I love that sound of those crunchy leaves.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. I mean, we could go on and on. And so when I'm feeling more resistant to setting aside what I know isn't going to satisfy, like eating when I'm not physically hungry, if I want to be ready to want to go to God, that Lord, I love, I can say I love pizza, I love cheese that's melted, I love my dog, I love how silly the turkeys are when they flew into the apple tree to get the apples out. Oh my god, it was silly. There's so many things I love. And what it does is it it kind of melts my heart. And then I'm mindful of the fact that my very good and great and loving Lord has provided all these things for me that I love. So it gets me over that hump of resistance. Um, and then any of our other mind renewal tools, of course, but we're not gonna list them because we do that elsewhere. All right, so I'm gonna ask you a question, Christina. Okay. Can you remember a time when you felt non-physical hunger? Like it was beginning to nag at you to the point where you knew you were gonna give in if something didn't intervene and what helped you get through that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Okay, so last weekend, for whatever reason, I hit a point where I was just incredibly discouraged about how poorly I've been feeling and how hard this cancer treatment is that I'm in, breast cancer treatment. Um, and I just was really, really struggling. Um, you know how that is. You get to a point, you're dealing with the discouragement for a while, and then it just kind of takes you down. Um and I felt that very strongly last weekend. For whatever reason, I wasn't even feeling my worst physically, but I was feeling that way emotionally. And so what were what can I do? What what could I do? What were my go-tos? I could go to food like I've gone to for many, many, many years. I could pick up my phone and mindlessly scroll. I could watch movies and shows or listen to books, and and there's nothing wrong with those things. But I can, I could have chosen to go to any of those things. But what I know after years of practice with this is that if I am so so struggling emotionally and I don't deal with it, it's gonna come back even stronger after I numb myself or after I do something mindless. It's gonna come back even stronger. I'm gonna have to deal with it. I know that about myself. And so I did a number of different things. A couple of them I sent to you, Heidi. The first thing I felt like I needed to do some grieving, which is hard. Grieving is hard, but the tears were coming anyway. So I thought, let's just do it. So I actually wrote a list of things that I was grieving. And then I talked with God and prayed through the list. And when I couple grieving with gratitude, it comes out life-giving. If I get stuck in the grief, um and I just go down, down, down, that's not gonna be life-giving. But if I couple each each thing that I miss with gratitude, um, that's gonna bring me up and that turns my heart toward the Lord. And so that's mind renewal. That's turning to him in my grief with gratitude, knowing that he has a plan and he's gonna pull me through this time. That was one of the things that I did. Um, another thing was a praise fest. And that is taking God's attributes and praising him with who he is, no focus at all on myself. And one of my favorite ways to do that recently is, Lord, I delight. Lord, I delight in your goodness. Lord, I delight in your timing, even though I don't understand it. Lord, I delight in your promises. Lord, I delight in the way that you love me and my family. I can go on and on and on. And I it turns my heart, it softens my heart toward him. And then I'm dealing with my emotions in a way that is healthy. It's gonna bring me back up when my focus is on him instead of me. I have a question for you now, Heidi. How do you recognize when your hunger isn't physical? What has God taught you in those moments?

SPEAKER_02:

I have to invite him in. That's the answer to almost all of the questions that come to my mind. So true.

SPEAKER_00:

So true.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. And there are years when I didn't do that, hasn't been like that for a while, but now it's much more almost natural for me, supernatural, we'll call it supernatural. Yeah. For me to ask him, what is happening with me? And I'll be honest with you, um, for me, I think I go through this world in a state of spiritual starvation. I have such a deep need for the Lord, such a deep need that if I am not sitting at his feet uh in one form or another multiple times a day, and I don't mean like I'm a monk on a hill or something, but I mean I I do feel like I need to open myself to the Lord, invite him in, and ask him to fill me up, ask him to satisfy me. Holy Spirit, flood all the empty places, the cracks and crevices of my heart. And you know, scripture tells us that when we ask for the Holy Spirit, God the Father is going to grant him to us. Now, granted, we already have the Spirit in us, but that overflowing, filling up that sense so often is eroded by my own choices that I make, whether it's a sin issue in my life or whether it be just settling for less than what God has for me, or um just not taking the time, even. I want to be flooded full of the Spirit's presence so that every empty crack, crevice, and hole in my heart and mind, whatever, is jammed full of his lovely life-giving presence. So for me, that's yeah, that's what God has taught me in those moments. And you know, my hunger, it's really helpful if you know your hunger signal, but there are times when my hunger signal can be very confusing at this stage of my life. For whatever reason, I do believe it's got something to do with hormones, but I think that God knows. He knows if I am a have a physical need for fuel, and he also knows when I'm spiritually starving and how to best eat whatever the need is for sure.

SPEAKER_00:

He does, he does. Okay. So we want to look at this in terms of hunger. Hunger is not the enemy, okay? It's not the enemy. It's it's really an invitation to connect with God.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So the next time that you feel a craving that doesn't match your body's physical hunger, pause, take a little break, don't condemn yourself. Get curious, get prayerful, and ask, Lord, what do you want to show me through this craving? And then let him nourish you in deeper ways than food ever could.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Okay, so if you, listener, are walking through a season where your hunger feels confusing, we hope that there's something here in this episode that has offered clarity. And if not clarity, then hope, maybe a bit of both would be awesome. Awesome. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00:

We are so glad that you've been here today, and we hope that you will join us for our next episode of Revelation Within on the Go.

SPEAKER_02:

Bye now. Have a beautiful rest of your week.

Head Shot

Heidi Bylsma-Epperson

Host
Head Shot

Christina Motley

Co-host