Enjoying Life OTR

#58 Surviving the Road: Stress Management Tips Every Driver Should Know with Atara Parkinson

• Cindy Tunstall, Atara Parkinson, Dino Grigoriadis • Episode 58

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Long hours, tight schedules, and unpredictable situations—truckers face these challenges daily, often leading to stress, decision fatigue, and sleepless nights. This episode of Enjoying Life OTR brings in professional counselor Atara Parkinson, who offers practical, science-backed tools to help you manage the mental load of life on the road. Learn quick techniques like the physiological sigh and peripheral vision exercises—simple methods you can implement today to calm your mind and stay focused.

Trauma can build up over time, especially after facing tough situations on the highway. Atara helps us recognize the hidden impact of unprocessed events and how they can affect your overall health. She shares strategies like brainspotting and talk therapy to help drivers identify trauma triggers and find a path to recovery, even amidst the challenges of the road.

Finding the right support shouldn’t be another stressor. In this episode, we break down how to find someone who truly understands your unique lifestyle, emphasizing the importance of a supportive, non-judgmental relationship. Plus, discover the power of community support and self-advocacy in the healing process. Whether you’re a long-haul driver or anyone seeking ways to manage stress and trauma, this episode offers valuable insights for a healthier, more balanced life.

Atara Parkinson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Integrative Practitioner.   Her passion is to help clients in the mind/body connection. She loves watching the physical body and mind align to impact mental health through nutrition and integrative medicine.  She supports her clients in creating sustainable vision for their lives. The goal of her work is to empower clients on gaining clarity to obtain holistic balance in mind, body and soul. She believes that a strong therapeutic connection is vital in creating a space for healing to take place. Her approach is to create a safe, compassionate, and non-judgmental space for clients to explore their lives and beliefs.   She is a member of the Enjoying Life OTR Facebook group and can be reached via email ataraparkinson@protonmail.com if we have any questions or concerns.   She is passionate about helping others on their journey.

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Enjoying Life OTR—because LIVING WELL is worth the effort. We’re sparking curiosity, adventure, & resilience while honoring drivers and embracing a healthier trucking life. Discover creative life hacks & practical strategies to make the most of your time on the road. Join the movement!Explore, enjoy the food, snap the pic, and share tips on saving money along the way.

This podcast is for new and veteran drivers looking to stay mentally, physically, and financially strong while embracing the freedom of the road. We bring you real stories, expert advice, & practical tools to help you thrive, not just survive, in the trucking life.

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For questions or to be a guest, email our host, Cindy Tunstall at EnjoyingLifeOTR@gmail.com #HealthierTruckers #EnjoyingLifeOTR #TruckerWellness #OTRLife #WorkLifeBalance



Dino Grigoriadis:

Hey, road Warriors, this is Dino, your roadie and guide on the side. Let me tell you, after 20 plus years on the road, I know first hand how stressful this job can be Careless four wheelers cutting us off, cause, you know, those geniuses think we can stop on a dime Long hours behind the wheel, cause I mean, who wants to go home to their family? Tight schedules that barely leave room to breathe like we need to actually breathe. Extreme weather that would horrify most people, because, you know, those four-wheelers forget how to drive when the rain comes out. And those irregular sleep patterns that mess with your head. You know the ones that the brokers think that we're the Energizer Rabbit and we just keep going and going and going.

Dino Grigoriadis:

It all adds up, doesn't it? And if you've been driving for years, like me, chances are you've seen some things that stick with you. Maybe it was a tragic accident, like what Robert shared with us in our last episode, or times when extreme weather had you white, knuckling the crap out of that steering wheel, wondering if you'd make it home to your family. Some days you might even ask yourself if you can ever shake off the memories of what you've witnessed out there. Well, truckers, I've got good news.

Dino Grigoriadis:

Atara Parkinson sat down with Cindy Tunstall to drop some knowledge that could change the game for us. She's got practical tools to help with those daily stressors and even the horrific stuff that still haunt us, even years later. I gotta tell you, after listening to this episode, I feel like I've got a whole new set of skills to keep my cool on the road. So stick around, because the tips you're about to hear aren't just talk. They're easy to apply. Starting today, let's take control of our stress, get better sleep and start every day in a better headspace. We've got this. Stay tuned. Greater peace of mind is just one episode away.

Cindy Tunstall:

Welcome back to Enjoying Life, otr. My name is Cindy Tunstall and I'm your host. We have a fantastic episode for you today. Our guest is Atara Parkinson and she is a professional counselor. I'm going to let her tell you about her credentials, but we're going to be talking about some heavy topics today and giving you a lot of strategies that are going to help you live a healthier, happier life on the road.

Cindy Tunstall:

You know this driving full-time is very stressful. You know, from finding truck parking to navigating into tight places, having to deal with drivers cutting us off all the time, and you know there's just all of these things, not to mention the risk and danger of the job that we do being out on the road. So you know we have all of these stressors. So I thought it'd be really great to get a professional in here, get some insights and some strategies and ways that can help us to handle all this stress we got going on because we are carrying it in our bodies and I personally don't like that. So I have some stressors that I need to talk about, so I've called in a pro Atara. Welcome to the show.

Atara Parkinson:

Oh, thank you so much.

Cindy Tunstall:

I am so excited to have you on the show. We start by telling our audience a little bit about the type of work that you do, and then we'll just jump in because I've got some questions and I need some help. I love it.

Atara Parkinson:

That's what I'm here for. Yeah, so again, my name is Matara Parkinson and I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and I've been practicing in the field of mental health for 14 years Makes me feel a little old when I say that and I have had just the blessing of a wide variety of experiences. I've worked in community clinics with domestic violence, with families. I've worked with lifers, so men that were incarcerated on life sentence. I've worked with emancipated foster youth, you know, just kind of run the gamut of different people.

Atara Parkinson:

And then to present day, I own and operate my own private practice, and that's such a blessing for me because I have small children, and so that's a little bit about my background. And also, what I really love about my practice is that I incorporate somatic work, and what that means is that we understand what you said in the intro, that the brain and the body are connected. So what's happening in the mind is going to have an impact physically on our body, and sometimes vice versa, where we're having something physically happening in the body, it's going to affect our mental health.

Cindy Tunstall:

Well, I'm excited to have this conversation because I know for myself it's like I've only been driving four and a half years and I've noticed even some differences in my attitude along the way and even physically, how I'm handling stress.

Cindy Tunstall:

Like I've never been more aware in my life that at the end of the day I have had a stressful day and I need to do something with that. You know, sometimes it's hard to go to sleep or, you know, I'll end up binging a show trying to get my mind off it and just kind of settle my body down. But I'm really not sure I'm doing a very good job of handling the stress. Like sometimes, like yesterday, for example, I had to park my truck into this really tight spot and you know there was just dangers all around. I had to pull my truck into the oncoming traffic and you know I was having to trust somebody else to navigate around the corners and you know, and after it was over and I've done that before and that was fine and but I could feel it in my body, you know I was like, okay, settle down Like the adrenaline was going, cause I needed to be focused, so hyper-focused, on so many potential dangers, and we do that every day. So at the end of the day I'm like you know.

Atara Parkinson:

I need help. Yeah, it's a lot on the body and I want to say, before we even jump in, I know just a teeny tiny bit about what that is like, because this past summer we spent six weeks on the road actually, and that's why, when we made this connection, I was really inspired, because I really gained a new appreciation for truckers and you know, movers of big, big things. We drive a Ford Excursion and my husband was towing a 31-foot trailer, and so you know we weren't, we're not truckers, I've never been a trucker trailer, and so you know we weren't. We're not truckers, I've never been a trucker, but I did learn a lot about you know what it's like to be a bigger, slower vehicle on the road and having to have more caution in these areas. And so I asked him, you know, before we spoke today, I said what would your biggest advice be? You know, knowing that, the stress that he had on travel days, and she made me laugh and he said leave your wife at home. That's funny.

Atara Parkinson:

I rolled my eyes right, but what he's saying, and what you're also saying, is that nervous system dysregulation and there probably were times when we were on the road where he might have felt more calm but I was. My nervous system perhaps was dysregulated because we were on, you know, we were on PCH, which I would never do again with a big vehicle like that and it was nerve wracking. But I, we really talked a lot about what you're saying, this hypervigilance of taking in, having to take in for safety all these pieces of information around you the traffic, road conditions, weather, wildlife, construction, you know changing traffic laws, and I'm just hitting a couple there. I'm sure there are things that I don't even know because I've never been a trucker, but yes, there's a lot to take in and what you were saying and what I hear is a nervous system on overdrive.

Cindy Tunstall:

Yes, yes, Overdrive the good description. It's a fitting word, right? Yeah, for sure.

Atara Parkinson:

Many people would relate to yeah.

Cindy Tunstall:

So what are some things that we could do? I mean, obviously I don't know if you know the statistic and I share this before in my Facebook community but professional drivers live 16 years, a shorter lifespan than the average American. 16 years. And I think about when my kid was 16 years old, all of the life that she had lived, you know, up until 16. And of course, for myself, but that was a little while ago, so thinking about my kids is easier. But you know, I just thought that is a lot of years. And then I also think you know those late, even prior to the. You know the retirement years being cut off, but the quality of life toward the end is probably not great either. So it's I don't know what we could do differently. Like cause we still we need to be hypervigilant. We have so many things that need our full attention while we're on the road. So do you have any suggestions of things that we could do to maybe help manage those daily stressors in a more productive way?

Atara Parkinson:

Great question. So I think what I'm going to hit first is what you are saying why on earth would we want to address this? Why would do really? I think it's a need. Why do we need to look at this? And the reason that is is for a longer, better quality of life, and what is required for those things essentially is balance. And so when we know and when we have awareness hey, when I'm, when I'm on the road and I'm driving, I am full, you know, um, full alert all my senses are on board to make sure that I'm getting to point A to point B today safely. And so then, when we're shifting out of that position, doing a couple things, to start with, which is making an awareness around that I'm shifting and your body can start to pick up on that. But a couple of things that you said informs me oh, my body might need a little more support in that shift. So, when you stop for your day, taking even just five minutes and doing some practices, that will help your nervous system just kind of calm down.

Atara Parkinson:

Okay, and there's really really easy techniques out there using breath, using eye movement or using like a massage or stimulating a part of the body. So one example would be we call it a physiological sigh, and it's really easy and this is something you can also incorporate hey, you're having a stressful moment out there, you know something happened something. You know a tire blew or something with the rig is not going right, right, and you automatically are oh my gosh, no, and go into this kind of panic mode or overdrive. This is a great tool to use in those situations as well, and what this looks like is really simple. It's an inhale, inhale and then long exhale, so we're inhaling twice, and that has a special component within the body that signals you know, hey, calm down, we're okay, and so I hope you can hear this, but it's going to go. You don't have to make that silly noise. I made it so y' you can hear this, but it's going to go, and you don't have to make that silly noise. I made it so you all can hear it.

Cindy Tunstall:

That was helpful, though that was helpful. I take a deep breath, but why the two breaths? That's something significant about doing the two inhales.

Atara Parkinson:

Yes, it extends our lungs even further. That little extra breath and that is just a signal to the body and the nervous system of like, hey, we're safe, it's okay, right, um, like a like a calm down. And so that's one way of breathing. The other way of breathing if you want to practice and what's beautiful about that one is you'll have to do it a lot you just do two or three quick breathing of that you know pattern and your body is already starting to, you know, regulate better.

Cindy Tunstall:

Okay, good, I love that. I love that. I love a quick tool because we know we got to, we're still, we're still working. Okay, good, love that. Love that. Very good.

Atara Parkinson:

And then the second way of breathing is ensuring that our exhale is longer than our inhale. And why is this important? Because our breath is directly correlated to our heart rate. And when our heart, when we're in that hypervigilance even, you know, maybe we're not feeling like a cognitive stress, like oh my gosh, this is so intense, but we're just in that state like you were talking about, like a more hypervigilant state. Even in there our heart rate is increased. But especially in those moments of maybe a panic or something's going wrong, it's definitely. That's an obvious increase, right?

Atara Parkinson:

And so, to bring our heart rate down, we actually use our breath, and so this is another really easy count. You can, kind of, you know, use it how what feels natural for you. But I say five, seven. So you're going to inhale one, two, three, four, five and then exhale one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. You get the idea that's just ensuring that my exhale is longer and then, as a result, helps slow my heart rate down.

Cindy Tunstall:

Okay, I haven't heard that before, so this is very helpful. So I think instinctually I was kind of doing something similar because I was in. I've seen some results from the deep sigh and going and I'll even tell myself okay, settle down now, You're okay, you know, and I give myself a little pep talk. It's like we're moving on now. But this is very helpful, Thank you. Any other tips?

Atara Parkinson:

What's that? Any other tips? Yes, Okay, so we, we did breath. Let's also talk about eye movement. So what actually happens and you might've noticed this too is that when we are in that fight or flight mode, that nervous system overdrive, our vision actually narrows and we get a type of tunnel vision.

Atara Parkinson:

This actually makes sense when we think about, you know, historically, caveman days the way our ancestors and the way our body was wired is, if we are being attacked or you know we're hunting and we're going after an animal. We want that really focused vision, that's you know we're hunting and we're going after an animal. We want that really focused vision, that's you know, a nervous system in that heightened state. However, today, sometimes our nervous system is going off when we don't necessarily need it to, or it also isn't helpful for us, and so one other tool to utilize is opening up your peripheral vision. One way to do that is and I know you can't see me, but I'm holding my hands on the sides of my face where my eyes are catching on the peripherals on my left and right, and I'm just going to do a finger wiggle and this is helping my vision open up that peripheral, and that then signals my body we're safe, we're okay, I don't need you in that state right now.

Cindy Tunstall:

Oh my gosh, I love this so much. That is a great tip. Oh my goodness, very practical right. These are super easy.

Atara Parkinson:

Anyone can do it anywhere. Now, another one for eyes would be I call it color counting. And this is again we're going to swing our head to one side of our body and look out our you know, towards our arm, out in one direction, and we're going to pick a color, and usually I pick orange and I pick. I look at my surroundings and I'm going to count all of the things that are colored orange. I say one, two, and as I'm counting, I'm going to swing my head slowly to the other side of my body as I'm counting all of the orange things in my surrounding. And again, it kind of sounds silly, but when our body's in that overdrive, opening up the body in the peripheral vision is signaling to our body you're safe, it's okay.

Cindy Tunstall:

Okay, I love this technique as well. Now, is it important? Do I need to open up my arms as well, or I'm just looking with my head?

Atara Parkinson:

just to be really practical, your arms can be down, just the head swings from one side, pick your color, and then slowly we're coming across to the front of our bodies, all the way across to that other shoulder, and you could even go back and forth a couple of times. If you're noticing, hey, this feels really helpful, as it feels soothing or relaxing. To me, that's a signal that your nervous system and that will again signal to the body hey, chill out, man, it's okay, we're okay here.

Cindy Tunstall:

Oh my gosh, that is so helpful. It's cool stuff, isn't it? It is, it's fascinating. Okay, I have a question about the color thing. I got stuck on the color. I'm an artist, so I think about color. Is there any significance to the color choice?

Atara Parkinson:

No, the color choice is just one that's not all over my room. I'm not a red-orange lover, I'm a blue-green toast, so that's just not really prevalent. So it's a really easy pick out for me to count all the orange. But yeah, you can pick whichever color kind of comes to mind first or whatever suits you.

Cindy Tunstall:

Okay, okay, I love that. Okay, this is so helpful. Okay, so we did breath and eyes and any other tips before I move on, because I have some other hard topics that I need some help with.

Atara Parkinson:

I'll give one more, and that's just. Your ear is actually also related to your nervous system, so this is one you could do while driving too, if you feel safe is just kind of giving that the part that we pierce. I'm blanking on the name right now.

Cindy Tunstall:

Like the earlobe, the lower part of the earlobe. Yes, thank you.

Atara Parkinson:

Earlobe. There it is Earlobe. There it is earlobe. Yep, and also um, the, that part that is kind of indented in the middle right before we go, like into the ear okay we can just rub that little area, and this is again just sending a signal to the body hey, everything's okay, stay calm, we're okay here.

Cindy Tunstall:

This is so fascinating because I've caught myself before rubbing my earlobe before and I think it's so interesting that you're sharing that. It's like my body knew to do that, so it's such a I was just going to say.

Atara Parkinson:

That is so beautiful and I think that's a beautiful example of intuition, right. And intuitively our body knows what it needs. And intuitively our body knows what it needs and if we can, first of all, pay attention to that and second of all, be responsive to that, I think in our culture we're so fast-paced, we're very much on the go Next thing, next thing, got to achieve, got to do more. We naturally detach from ourselves pretty quickly and certainly often. Naturally detach from ourselves pretty quickly and certainly often. And so the more that we can give ourselves moments throughout the day to just check in, to take a minute to ground, regulate, calm ourselves, the better it's going to serve us long-term.

Cindy Tunstall:

Tara, I'm so grateful for these tips, you know, because I hear, you know, we talk about being a healthier trucker.

Cindy Tunstall:

You know that's important to our community and it sometimes feels like we have to do these great big overhauls. Like you know, I can't eat fast food anymore, which is almost impossible when I'm on the road and I just don't have time to run a 5k, and you know, I just I always feel so, you know, overwhelming, honestly, and um, so I love these tips because stress is a big deal and I, like I said, I've been driving only four and a half years, but I noticed a significant increase in the, the way I'm carrying my stress and um, what about? Um, what about at the end of the day? Like just a normal, typical day? You know we've had every day.

Cindy Tunstall:

You know we have decision fatigue at the end of the day. That's, you know that's our common ending of our day. Like I'm done, I don't want to think what are some things we could do to, you know as like a daily habit of the way to end our day in a healthy way? Do you have any tips for that? Easing us, you know, into sleep without binging Netflix or whatever we might do?

Atara Parkinson:

I don't know, you know that's what I do, yes, so I was listening to some previous episodes so I could get a good feel for you know what what people have talked about, and also to get a little bit more insight of, like, the actual trucker voice. Well, first I want to just acknowledge the decision fatigue because I think that's so relevant and so important, and I'm a mama of four and four littles, and so I get very often right, get this overwhelmed or feel like I'm making decisions for everyone all day long, and so I really identify with that phrase decision fatigue you know being like at the end of the day, where I just want to turn my brain off and I am exhausted by making choices all day.

Atara Parkinson:

Um, I think one of the things that can be really good and a quick, easy habit is, if you feel like your mind is racing, I often will tell clients to write it out. So just on it, just scribble it out, no judgment. You don't even have to come back to it. You can throw it in the trash after burn it, it doesn't matter, right, but just get those thoughts from swirling in your mind and put them somewhere. I find that when the thoughts are swirling for me, they're typically around something that I, you know, I'm processing through. I want to work out, like last night.

Atara Parkinson:

Last night this happened to me. I was up for a couple hours, which is not common. I don't really have that issue and I I took a second and I just jotted down all of these thoughts in my phone and it really made it easier than for my body and my brain to go. Okay, they're there, they're written down, they won't get lost. I know I can come back to them, but it doesn't even have to be something important. It could just be, you know, thoughts or processing of something. Another really easy technique to help calm the nervous system before bed and you might have to help me tweak this one, because I don't know if y'all have the space, but it's called legs up the wall, and so you're just going to find a wall space or I say typically to people a headboard, and you're going to push your bottom against that wall and stick your legs straight up kind of in the air. Okay, this redirects the blood flow and helps again bring that nervous system into regulation. Is there something you have space for?

Cindy Tunstall:

yes, yes, some divers do for sure, yeah, okay, wonderful.

Atara Parkinson:

so those are some techniques that I would say if you are feeling as you're wanting to settle down, those are some really great ones. Again, the the ear massage would be another good relaxing one. Um, I would recommend like a jaw Uh, I noticed a lot of people have jaw tension, especially from decision fatigue or like a lot of hypervigilance. So, finding a good jaw release on YouTube uh, his name is Dr Perry Nicholson and he has a really amazing. You could just look up his name and jaw release, or even it might be TMJ, and he'll demonstrate how to kind of just help that tension in that space of your body.

Cindy Tunstall:

Okay, good, good.

Dino Grigoriadis:

Hey guys, this is Dino, your Roadie and guide on the side, listen, we're here to help you through inspiration, with any kind of issues concerning life, otr. But just like anything else, for major repairs please go see a professional.

Cindy Tunstall:

Okay, I want to transition into. I just had this awareness recently. I was talking with a friend and I realized I could name so many drivers that have gone through really significant traumas, like whether they've you know, I have several friends that have been in accidents where their rig rolled over and they slid down the highway on, you know, in their truck, you know, this huge, huge vehicle just plowing down behind them and having to watch go into something else. Or they've been in severe weather where the truck in front of them laid over in the wind, you know, right in front of them, or ice and snow, and you know all of these. Just, I had a friend just tell me about hitting a bear recently, a large bear, and she's just devastated. Having killed this bear, it's like, oh my gosh, you know, and she's just so, it's so upsetting.

Cindy Tunstall:

And then, not to mention the traumas where you know lives have been lost, whether it was at fault of the driver or at someone else's hands. You know the negligence of someone else and they had to endure this trauma. And I know many of these drivers. You know they take a break from trucking but this is all they've known and they love this profession and they end up getting back in the truck, which I'm happy that they get to do that, but I think there's still a lot of unresolved trauma and I don't even know how to begin a discussion on that or what should be done. Could you just speak to that issue and maybe give some hope and encouragement to those drivers that have been through such horrific trauma? Yes, yes.

Atara Parkinson:

So I'm so glad we're hitting this, because this is one of my passions and specialties is helping the brain and body process and I'm going to name it on two levels a traumatic event, which we can be traumatized, and how we know that is, we will see, you know, direct correlation to, maybe rumination or repeating thoughts around. You know the memory or the experience. We'll see avoidant behavior, like maybe I don't want to drive on that highway again or I don't want to drive at that time of day again, and we'll see, maybe like reoccurring memories or nightmares around the event. These are all signs and symbols that there's an actual trauma, what we would diagnose as a trauma.

Atara Parkinson:

Now there's also just a negative experience or emotion, and so I give this example often is I had a friend group fall apart and they were, you know, my tribe, my people, and there is a disagreement over something, and while I wouldn't say I was traumatized by that experience, it definitely impacted me and it left some residue in my life. So those are also important experiences to process properly, because if, if and when we don't, they leave emotion. I'll say it this way Emotion is energy in the body. Okay, and we know this. We can intuitively see this. Think especially of a toddler or a small kid. When they get angry, what do they do? You can see it on them. They shake right, they might crunch their fists, they go, oh right, kind of like a dual body shake. That is it. That's the emotion, that's the energy in the body. Well, what happens when we disassociate or disconnect or push down that emotion or experience? Oh, it doesn't go anywhere, it stays in the body, and then that has profound impacts on actual physical health. And so we want to be sure to process through things like this.

Atara Parkinson:

And what happens in our brain is, I want you to imagine, like a hallway or corridor, and along that hallway there are doors and our brain takes these negative experiences or traumas and puts them behind the door and shuts the door. Well, of course, right, our brain has to survive. It's trying to protect us and help us go on living life. So it makes sense, right? We can't fault our brain for that. However, what I think people often experience is a trigger of when that door gets opened, and sometimes those triggers make a lot of sense. Again, we're on a road that maybe we had our accident on, maybe again it's dusk and that's the time we hit that animal. And so our body is like our brain pulls that file and goes oh, I remember this, if something bad happens here, please be aware. And that's when we go into that elevated nervous system state. Okay, and sometimes it makes sense like that, sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes why it doesn't is because every second get this, this is wild we are able to take in 8 million pieces of information.

Cindy Tunstall:

Oh, my word.

Atara Parkinson:

Yeah, all around us and you know what, for you truckers on the road, I bet it could be even higher than that, right In that hyper-visual state. Okay, but when we cognitively filter through that that and we can only think about between seven and 30 pieces of that information, so there's logged stuff that are connected to an experience that we might not even consciously be aware of, but it's in there. So sometimes if you're finding you know you're reacting to something it doesn't make sense, know that, that's okay, but your brain has just stored a piece of that information, okay. So the door gets opened right and we get flooded or we have a reaction to something. Maybe it's even just like you're mentioning our stress level goes up or we feel more like on edge in a circumstance. This is a sign or symbol that we need to work through something, and there's a couple ways to do that.

Atara Parkinson:

My favorite so talk therapy is definitely one is going and talking to someone if you're seeing that this is problematic, this is interfering with your life, or it feels like the language I kind of use is it feels like it's controlling. And I don't know about you. I like freedom, I don't want to be controlled, so I don't like that very much. Yeah, something I want to work through, and another method is called brain spotting, and brain spotting is a technique I use often in therapy. No-transcript.

Cindy Tunstall:

Would you say, atara, that anytime somebody's been through something really significant, do you always need professional help? Or I mean, is it like being able to talk with my friend about what happened to me? Is that able to help me process that? Or how do I know that that's been enough or when I really need to do something more significant?

Atara Parkinson:

That's a really great question. So, absolutely, connecting with someone can be a great way to talk out that situation, to process, and actually it's very interesting. There's these messages of worry. So there's different types of worry and one actually is called connection worry. And connection worry literally tells our brain, hey, I don't feel right about this or this keeps bothering me, and it drives us to connecting with another human being around it. And again we see this really clearly in kids.

Atara Parkinson:

I love using kids as an example because they're unadulterated, right. They don't have all these conceptions of shoulds, right. I love the clients all the time. Please stop shoulding all over yourself. Their brain doesn't say, well, I'm a man or I'm a boy, so I shouldn't be bothered by something or I shouldn't need help with this. Kids kids are. You know. They don't do that as often, but connection worry does actually drive us. What you might see is is that might be a good first step? Is talking with a friend about it and then paying attention? Is that narrative still running? Often, for you Does keep me up at night. Do I keep replaying memories or thoughts about this event? Um, do here's a wonderful one. Do I keep what ifing? Okay?

Atara Parkinson:

if I keep what? What if, uh, another animal runs into my path? Okay what is the? You know I'm sliding on my side again. What if, if, what if, what if? And our brains are naturally a what if stimulator. But the problem comes in when we're what if-ing and we can't seem to get to that second step of planning and making that leap. If we're stuck in, that what if is a signal to us that we might need some extra support.

Cindy Tunstall:

Okay, I'll tell you for me, as you're sharing about this. I think about times when I've been in, you know, a fear about something and I will just personally I don't know my journey, you know, I've been figuring some things out along the way, but I'm like I will think it's helpful for me to think, okay, what if? And then I go down that path and I'll just say whatever. So you're saying, if I can come to a place of solution, to have a plan about how I'll overcome that, that's a sign that I'm managing it. Okay, it's just when I can't get to that planning stage of what I will do next, like you're feeling powerless over that situation, that's a sign that you need some additional support.

Atara Parkinson:

Yep, okay yep, or or even if the, the thoughts or memories are coming up often and you're going why am I thinking about this? Or it feels annoying, it feels like it's taking up too much space okay you know, yeah, keeping you up at night or you're seeing some other symptoms um where it feels. Intrusive is the word we use.

Atara Parkinson:

It feels like it's taking too much space. I'm passionate about helping people through that so we can focus on the joys in life and what we want out of life instead of staying stuck in our negative experience of trauma. Okay, very good. Okay, that's very helpful. The frequency is a tell, so some of it.

Cindy Tunstall:

I would think would be normal after a trauma. Okay, very good. Okay, that's very helpful. The frequency is a tell, so some of it I would think would be normal after a trauma. So we're looking for a reduction, a reduction in the frequency and the impact that we're having. We're looking for changes in the frequency, right.

Atara Parkinson:

Absolutely, absolutely. And I want to give one helpful tool too for those what if? Moments. One helpful planning tool is if you're feeling like, ah, I can't get to a conclusion, I can't figure out the what-if, to think about worst-case scenario, best-case scenario and most realistic, oh, because we want to help the brain be able to calculate realistic risk and when we have a trauma or negative experience that can be thrown off. That's really natural, really normal. And so we want to be able to help our brain look at how would I figure this out? And I want to say, okay, what you know, the worst case, if this happens, what? What would I do? The best case, what would I do? And what's the most realistic here? Right, am I in an area that's high traffic animals?

Atara Parkinson:

So there might be an increased chance right Of having something or I'm somewhere really, um, you know, with a lot of people in the city. There we go and uh, that's not, it's not likely to happen. And that's when we can do that self-talk that you mentioned and tell our brain hey, thanks, brain. Like I see that you're telling me to worry. I'm going to ignore that right now. I don't. That's not helpful for me. And if that's not enough, you can also do some of those techniques that we mentioned earlier to help the nervous system calm down.

Cindy Tunstall:

I really love this. It's so practical and so empowering and there's some really great ways to tell when it's not going well, or even that it's going well, because I think we sometimes worry am I being neglectful, that I'm not dealing with this, or somebody might be saying that we need to like.

Atara Parkinson:

There's some really practical tools that you've given for us to be able to make a good plan for going forward very helpful and yeah, I'm so glad and I want to say too, you know, what is a problem for me might not be a problem for you and we might go through something like I mentioned my friend group earlier. Someone else might go through that and be like, whatever, no big deal, right, and just move on with life and it not be a problem for them. But for me it was. It was an issue and I needed some support around that and that's okay, right, and so to not sit in judgment of ourselves, but just to say, and so to not sit in judgment of ourselves, but just to say you know, it's okay, I'm getting a signal that I want a little extra around this issue or this experience that I went through.

Atara Parkinson:

I also want to say therapy does not have to be a lifelong commitment or sign up. I think people start therapy and go, oh, I have to come in once a week for you know, whatever a year, and you don't that you can come in. And I really love working with people in that way, with flexibility, where you can come in and we can maybe knock out a couple sessions, and then you feel like, okay, I'm on my way and, um, you know, we kind of I call it like maintenance right and I'm I'm open. I have my line open that if you know we kind of call it like maintenance right and I'm open, I have my line open that if you do need something or you're finding something is still problematic, reach out, we'll get something back on the calendar. But you don't have to sign up for a weekly commitment for X amount of time.

Cindy Tunstall:

Okay, that's helpful. But I will tell you, I know my audience is thinking come in. There's no coming in. So what about that for a driver? I mean, I know, is it could you have, really could you have a good session over a Zoom call? I mean, I know COVID opened that door up for all of us to be able to do everything by Zoom now, but I mean, is that still as effective? Or how could that work for a driver that's on the road for, you know, a month at a time?

Atara Parkinson:

Yeah, no, absolutely, and I should say, um, that's all my practice right now. My entire practice is virtual because I don't. I no longer live in the state that I'm licensed in.

Atara Parkinson:

I'm in Montana, I'm licensed in California where I was raised. All of my clients are in that state and I live somewhere else and it still is wonderful and beautiful. I love that you mentioned Zoom or even phone calls, because I have phone call sessions with people and I actually I'm laughing because I have a client who likes to drive. That's what she does in our session. She puts me on speakerphone and she drives around the block. I think it helps her focus and process. So that might I didn't even think about that until right now might be a really great way actually to process and go through a session is again, if we're not getting into anything too traumatic or intense, is to just kind of drive and chat around something that is coming up. So those are both really, really great ways to do therapy that we now have yeah, wonderful access to.

Cindy Tunstall:

Well, Atara, I definitely want to. I'll have your contact information in our show notes and I'll have people that want to reach out to you specifically. But if somebody is looking for a therapist, like you know, I've done therapy, I've done counseling. I'm a big fan. I've been, you know, not always like regularly, but I have little check-in times. It's been very helpful for me when I got stuck. But if somebody's never done that before and that's very overwhelming to think about, how would I even find somebody? And what if I don't like them? Or what do they get on my nerves? Or they remind me of my mother that nagging, or my dad that stonemaneering. You know what I mean. What if you know? What if I just don't click with this person? And you know it's kind of, you're spending time and money on the thing. Like, where would you? How would they begin to start the journey if they've never done something like that?

Atara Parkinson:

Yes. Well, I just have such a heart for your population so I want to say yes, please put my email in the show notes. People can reach out to me directly and I have a wonderful network of some pretty awesome therapists across the country, some I know personally, some I'm just in a group with. But if you're in a state and you want someone particular maybe again there's some specific demographics, like you prefer working with a male then that's something we can help you connect with and look for. I love your question, too, about finding the right therapist, because, especially if you're paying out of pocket, you really want a real solid match. That is the most important thing is that relationship and making sure that you're comfortable, not that you're going to like every single thing your therapist says, because our job is to push you a little bit right.

Atara Parkinson:

So challenge a little bit right right where your stuff, however, that you feel like you're in a place, in a relationship where you can trust this person, and that there's not judgment around what you're going to say. That's the signs of a good therapist, along with some of that ability to push and challenge without us saying, oh, you think what? And that is not. I know that I'm not for everybody and I think every therapist. It would benefit us to have that mindset. If someone is not a match for me, or also we've kind of worn out the work that I do and they want something else, I always open my first session saying it's okay. What's most important here is your experience and making sure you're getting what you need. So do not be afraid to say you know this just isn't working for me, or even sometimes I've gotten feedback. I need more of this, and I do want you to be more direct. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings, and then I'll get a little more real. Right, so don't be afraid.

Cindy Tunstall:

Advocate for yourself and your needs. Yeah, I love that you said that, because I've had times with a counselor I'm like, ok, we can go faster, and I'm like we're all direct communicators, so I'm like just speaking up for what I need and that's a little bit easier for me, but I could see where that could be a challenge for some people, and so I think that's a great reminder for our audience. Well, tara, I am so grateful to have connected with you. You've given us so many practical tools that can help us lower our stress and some really great signs to know where maybe we need some outside help just for a season. Do you have anything else that you'd like to share with our audience before we wrap up? We covered a lot of ground, and anything else, yes we did.

Atara Parkinson:

I'm looking, you know, I will just hit on. I mentioned really briefly brain spotting and I'm happy to come back and do an entire episode on that, but brain spotting is super important for those like, oh my gosh you mentioned, my heart still just has sensation over that experience of, like you know, rolling a rig. I just can't even imagine what that's like, and so brain spotting would be a wonderful tool for what we call complex trauma, and that would be one of those potentially one of those situations, because what we know is when we leave a situation having several layers of beliefs around that actual physical accident and what happened, and maybe potentially getting back in a truck.

Atara Parkinson:

But then you have a layer of maybe self-doubt Did I do the wrong thing or could I have done something different in a situation? And then maybe you have a layer of shame or guilt. If this happened to me, I'm not a good driver anymore or, you know, I'm just making stuff up.

Cindy Tunstall:

Yeah, yeah, I see.

Atara Parkinson:

Layers.

Cindy Tunstall:

Yeah.

Atara Parkinson:

Yeah, and that is what brain spotting is really, really, really effective at is hitting those different layers that can happen from a trauma or negative experience.

Cindy Tunstall:

There's just a lot going on in our bodies, isn't there. It's like it's a lot to unpack, and it's been very helpful. There is. We are complex beings, for sure. Well, atara, thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm so grateful that we made connection and I definitely see opportunities for you to be able to come back and speak to our audience again. And you've just given such great tips and, like I told you, I'll be happy to share your contact information. So if somebody wants to reach out to you, I'll also send you an invitation to our Facebook community, enjoying Life, otr, and that will be a place where you could kind of get to know our community and our peeps, and I'm just so grateful for your time. Thank you so much.

Atara Parkinson:

Thank you so much. It was such an honor to be here and, yes, if you want to even reach out to just get another referral, I'm happy to help with those as well, and it's such an honor to be. What I found when I was on the road was such amazing support when we had a couple issues. We just had people right around us jump, a couple of truckers to actually just jump in and say, hey, you know, can I help you with that? Or what's going on here, do you need something? And so I really see such beauty in this community.

Cindy Tunstall:

Love it so great. Thank you so much, Atara. I hope you have a great day and I'll look forward to more great conversations with you.

Atara Parkinson:

Thanks a lot.

Dino Grigoriadis:

All right, folks, let's recap some of the key takeaways from today's episode. Use the physiological side technique two quick inhales followed by a long exhale to calm your nervous system. Try the color counting exercise to shift your focus and reduce stress. Rub your earlobe or the area just in front of your ear to send calming signals to your body. Rub your earlobe or the area just in front of your ear to send calming signals to your body. Write down racing thoughts before bed to clear your mind. Try the legs up the wall pose to redirect blood flow and regulate your nervous system.

Dino Grigoriadis:

Remember, if you're struggling with trauma or ongoing stress, it's okay to reach out for help. It doesn't have to be a professional. It could be a buddy, it could be a confidant, but just reach out. Attara Parkinson is available if you have any questions. Her contact info is in the show notes and you can also find her in our Enjoying Life OTR Facebook group. Thanks for tuning in and we'll catch you on the next episode. This is Dino signing off and reminding you keep on trucking, but don't forget to give your mind a pit stop now and then, so you can keep on enjoying life OTR.

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Cindy Tunstall

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