Why Fat Loss Feels Harder in Your 30s & 40s (And How to Get Unstuck)

Feel like you're doing everything right - eating healthy and working out more - but your boyd just won't budge? You're not alone.

In this episode, Britany breaks down why fat loss feels harder in your 30s and 40s and how to create the right environment for your body to finally respond.

Britany covers:

• Why calories in/out is true, but not the whole story
• How stress, sleep and mental overload quietly block progress
• What really changes with hormones and muscle mass as women age
• Why your body isn't prioritizing fat loss
• Simple lifestyle routines to support weight loss and muscle gain

This is the science backed filter-free take on why your body feels stuck and what to do about it. 

Want support implementing this into your real life? Join here for Britany's live coaching program, The Routine Reset, to get 2x live calls a week, personalized coaching and accountability.

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Transcript

UNKNOWN: 0:00

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 0:06

Welcome to the Filter-Free Friday podcast. I'm your host, Brittany Williams, and this is the podcast that helps you realize that the distance between the life that you want to live and the life that you're currently living isn't nearly as big as you think. How are you? Listen, I am on the hot mess express. I know I always say that, but I really am right now. I don't think I've shared this out loud publicly. Maybe I have, but I haven't worked out in, I think, like two months, six weeks. It's been a long time. I have a chronic back and pelvis injury that got during pregnancy as like life does. Life just generally gets exacerbated during pregnancy. And I've been stuck in like a really bad movement pattern that I can't get out of. So it's not like I'm injured to the point to where I'm in pain all the time. but I'm in this movement pattern where I continuously tweak my back and I can't stop tweaking it and my PT finally was just like girl stop working out for a bit like yes I'm doing all the right things to get my back back to where it should be no pun intended but I just keep falling back into a bad pattern in my workouts and it kind of undoes all the work I do for PT and it's so counterproductive so I'm stopping working out for a little while to just focus on on the productive stuff, which is the PT work. And then I'll get back to my workouts eventually. But like, if that's not a metaphor for life, I don't know what it is, right? Like, we keep repeating bad patterns and habits and keep like slapping on new shit and hopes it helps. Like, if I just if I just take a day off, it'll help. Oh, if I just drink this green tea, it'll help. But like, sometimes you just got to slow down and fix the root issue. So that's where I'm at. So if you are a little like on a little speed bump on your your health and fitness journey, know that you're not alone. And you may see me working out out in posts that I put on Instagram but I have not moved a muscle for two months other than I had a photo shoot for Adidas this week and I worked out for like 10 straight hours I can't say I recommend that going from working not working out for two months and then working out straight for for um for 10 hours it was it was um a lot of fun but I am very sore very sore I share all this because I know at times it feels like your body is broken. I mean, I feel like my body's broken, but I know it's not. Like this body of mine has a lot of good miles left on it as it does yours, but I have to change the conditions that my body is operating under, right? Like I have to change the script. And I share this because I know you've been there. Like I said, we see all these things on the internet, whether they be like magnesium pills or red light therapy or that green juice that your neighbor swears by. And we think it's going to solve the bad pattern that we continue to be in. But in reality, you've got to actually solve the bad pattern. And I've been having this conversation a lot lately, especially when it comes to fat loss, muscle gain, and aging. Because there is so much mixed messaging out there, especially as it comes to what we should be doing as we get older. And look, I'm 37. So I'm not going to sit here and say that I have all the answers for menopause But I do absolutely know... that fat loss feels harder in your 30s and 40s. And most of the women that I work with are between the ages of 30 and 50. And over the last 10 years, I have had a lot of rich conversation and experience with women trying to feel like they want to make a change in their body, but it feels like their body's just holding on to fat, its current state, whatever that is, no matter what they do. And I wanted to do an episode about why it feels like fat loss is harder in your 30s and 40s and how you can get unstuck. So here's the thing. Fat loss is indeed a simple formula, or at least it should be. Calories in versus calories out. You've heard me say it before, and that is true. But one thing that you can't lose sight of is the conditions that your body is under. When your conditions aren't supportive of your goal, your body is not going to prioritize fat loss. And like I said, being in a caloric deficit is the way that you lose fat at any age it's a simple math problem but if you've ever used one of those online calorie calculators you know it's not a simple formula because first of all every calculator I swear I've ever used spits out a completely different number and I never know how I'm supposed to like put in am I moderately active or very active like I remember using one when I was running 30 minutes a day but I was also sitting on my ass for the other 23 hours of the day like how am I supposed to know what that is like is that active I'm working out every single day but i'm a lazy sack of potatoes sitting in my cubicle all day like on my computer like that i what is that you know what i'm saying like it's so hard to know and the difference between how many calories you eat and how many burn is truly the mechanism that matters right like the calorie counters aren't wrong they're just flawed because we cannot ignore everything else that is going on in our life if it was a simple formula you would know the results by now you would you would have the results by now because you would do the work and frankly we would all do the work because it would just simply come down to a formula and look i don't hate on the the calculators i think they're a great tool i think that they should be a tool though not the north star that you follow i'll never forget a story i heard from an nfl nutritionist and she said there's like two ways that you can look at food if we're going to boil it down to basics you can look at food as a number how many calories does that food have or you can look at its nutrients its macros its antioxidants its vitamins I would also argue you could look at it a third way, which is like the joy and happiness that it brings you. But for the sake of the story, that is what she said. You can look at it two ways, a number as calories or nutrients. The nutrients are what keeps us feeling good. They're what keeps the engine running smoothly. But the calories, they're what keep us alive. The body is going to prioritize staying alive, right? Like, thank God it does. It doesn't give a shit about how healthy your meal is if the meal doesn't have enough calories. She gave the example of someone who doesn't have access to food regularly. If someone in that state was given the option to eat a healthy salad or have like a Big Mac at McDonald's, like a cheeseburger and fries, the cheeseburger and fries is the best option every single time. Because first and foremost, the body's going to prioritize calories because its general goal is to survive. It doesn't care that, you know, Instagram told you that you need to eat a salad every day. It needs to fill that caloric need first before we worry about the other details like, am I eating enough fiber? Am I getting enough protein? Just focusing on calories in and calories out for fat loss is like getting the lights to turn on. It is necessary, especially when it comes to fat loss. You absolutely have to pay attention to how many calories you're eating and burning to keep to be in the game, right? It is getting the lights on. But it is the conditions that your body is operating under that will determine how bright that light is, how well that light is illuminating the room that you are trying to walk in. Same goes for muscle gain. It's the perfect metaphor, in my opinion. working out is how we get the body to gain muscle that's turning the lights on but how much protein you eat how heavy you lift how you progressively challenge yourself over time that's going to determine how bright that light is how effective and efficient that light is how much muscle you gain where you gain it how you gain it all of that comes down to the details not just the oh, I worked out today, right? And that's why it's so complicated. The science behind getting a light to turn on is pretty simple. To lose fat, you need a caloric deficit. That's really simple to achieve. But the science on how to brighten that light, on how to get there specific for you quickly, to maintain it, to be efficient about it is so complicated because there's so many different factors involved. The conditions you live your life under matter in this formula. You cannot just eat less calories and work out more and expect it to work for forever. You're going to have to look at the environment that you live in as well. your sleep, your stress, your everyday activity, quality of your food, your mental load, like all that stuff that we don't really want to have to focus on, that creates the conditions that your body operates under. I know I've said that a lot, but I want to really get this through. You have to think of the environment that your body is in. The goal should be to try to get your body out of this survival mode and into a more optimized environment for your goal. When you're stressed, sleep deprived, under fueled, your routine is not optimized for fat loss or muscle gain. It doesn't matter what your goal is. That is not the optimized routine. It doesn't mean it's not gonna happen, but it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder. You're probably gonna plateau faster or more often, I should say. And it's gonna be more of a rollercoaster ride than consistent results. And when life is hard on your body and you know it, if you know that kind of stress that you carry in your day-to-day life that just takes a toll on you, your body is not going to want to prioritize something like fat loss. It's going to want to prioritize just keeping things afloat, just running. It doesn't want to shed pounds, right? When you are stressed, the last thing you want to do is shed some weight and follow your diet. You just want to feel comfortable. That's your body giving you a sign that it's prioritizing, keeping you afloat, not changing what you look like when you look in the mirror. And look, this is the case at any age, right? Like everything I just said applies at any age, but it does feel harder at 35 and 45 than it did in our 20s. Like I'll be the first one to say that. And people love to point out, oh, it's your slowing metabolism. Oh, your hormones are changing. Yes, yes, those are factors. Yes, our metabolism can change and it does change. And yes, things like estrogen start to decline and that impacts fat storage. And you see people in the news kind of fear-mongering, for lack of a better word, trying to sell supplements and specific diets that are going to solve your hormone imbalances and your metabolism. But what I never hear them talk about is the biggest thing that has changed in your life since your 20s. And it's not your hormones and it's not your metabolism. You're more stressed because you've got kids. You've got aging parents. You have more responsibilities at work. You have more at stake at home. You're sleeping less because there's more to do. You're spending way less time relaxing in your 30s and 40s than you did in your 20s. You're eating less because you think it's the only thing you can control when it comes to your body weight. You're fitting in random workouts when ignoring any signs of rest and recovery because you don't want to get off track. You have all these very real stressors in your life at 37 and you think that your body is going to respond the same as it did when you were 22. Your biggest worry when you were 22 was what you were going to wear out on a Friday night. I mean, come on, that is not a fair comparison of your life today to the woman that you were at 22 and that has nothing to do with with, like I said, metabolism or hormones or aging. Your life has gotten more complicated. And fat loss and muscle gain will not happen in your body if it's not supported. So you have to think about things like sleeping enough, eating enough, balancing strength training and cardio, reducing everyday stress. That's how you build the right environment for fat loss and muscle gain. It's not because your body is deteriorating or that you need to biohack your metabolism or balance your hormones with some special diet. You just need to give your body the space and support it needs to flourish. Look, simply put, lifestyle factors have a greater impact on fat loss than age-related hormones and metabolism changes in your 30s and 40s. I'm still going to talk about those changes that happen in our body that we cannot control because I think they're worth mentioning. They're not something small to just gloss over, but I don't want you to fear them. I don't want you to think that you cannot control the trajectory of your life just because your body is starting to change as you get older. Both estrogen and muscle mass start to decline in your 30s. Again, I'm not saying this to fearmonger. I am saying this to educate you. Many women believe that this hormone shift, like the estrogen shift, causes weight gain. But specifically in your 30s and 40s, this estrogen decline is more going to impact where you hold onto fat, not how much fat you have. So it's not that it's causing you to gain weight. It's just shifting where the fat lies on your body. So premenopausal women tend to hold fat in their hips, their thighs, and their glutes. But as you shift into perimenopause and into menopause, the decline in estrogen will shift more fat into your abdomen. Again, it's not necessarily that you're gaining weight, but when you look in the mirror, it may feel like it because I wanna have nice abs, but suddenly when I see as I get older, that more fat is going to shift towards that area in the body. Your body is going to change. But again, you gain fat when you are in a caloric surplus, not just because suddenly you got 10 years older, right? As you move towards menopause, the estrogen decline does impact things like insulin resistance, and that can lead to higher blood pressure, which can impact weight gain. But to be clear, this is a very slow process. This does not happen overnight in your 30s or 40s. And I think that's what's important to note, that it's not like you turn 30 or 40 or even 50 or 60 and suddenly things go to shit. It is a slow decline that honestly, with the right focus, you can make so much more positive impact to your body in the short term that negates the negative impact that the long term, the long term negative impact that aging has. The perfect example of this is muscle decline. So we lose about three to eight percent of muscle mass per decade starting in our 30s. And this is important to know for fat loss in particular, because having a lower muscle mass means a lower metabolic rate. And that basically metabolic rate is a fancy term for how many calories you burn at rest, like just being you. How many calories does it take to keep you alive? The more muscle you have, the more calories it takes to keep you alive. You're going to burn faster. So if you're losing muscle mass over time, your metabolic rate slows down and it takes less calories to keep you erect and upright and like live in life, right? So the decline is going to hurt our case when it comes to being in a caloric deficit because it's going to be harder to burn calories. But the good news is simply with strength training properly, you can gain muscle at any age it's not like you're starting in this massive hole that you have to dig out to be like everybody else if you have a good structured sound strength training program you can overcome that muscle decline and it be a complete non-factor it's not like we get into our 30s and 40s and just our bodies start to shrivel up and we'll just never be the same again that is absolutely not the case because you're 30 and 40 it's not like you suddenly can't grow I don't want to gloss over the fact that your body does change in your 30s and 40s, but to think that that change is the sole cause of your body's decline is frankly not true. If you aren't addressing all of the other things like your poor sleep, your stress, your lack of movement throughout the day, those things you can control. And those things make up way, way more when it comes to how much fat you're going to lose, how much muscle you're going to gain, and generally, Generally, just how you feel. Your lifestyle. So think sleep, stress, movement throughout the day. That's the car that you're in. Your lifestyle is in the driver's seat. How fast the car is going to go, like your engine, that's your muscle mass and how much you have of it, right? Like that's that engine that's burning calories. You'll burn more calories if you have more muscle mass. The engine of the car, you will go faster, right? The changes that I talked about in your hormones, in your estrogen, in your metabolism, anything that's due to aging is going to set the terrain that you're driving on. Is it a flat road or is it uphill? Is it bumpy or is it flat? Are there potholes or not? Like if we're trying to get from point A to point B, you want a good car with a fast engine and you want a flat road. Well, I can tell you now if you're in your 30s and 40s and beyond, that road is going to start to get bumpy. It's going to start to be uphill and it's not going to be this easy, breezy, beautiful, you know, journey like it was in your 20s. Okay, we'll be honest here. But that doesn't mean you can't soup out your car so it is so freaking good. It is so rock solid that does not matter what the terrain is. If you've got a good car, you get to go from point A to point B as fast as you freaking want to because you've invested in how you feel. That's where your lifestyle comes into play. So things that aren't serving you, checking your email within five minutes of waking up, skipping breakfast, working out six days a and ignoring recovery days, drinking too much caffeine, stressing over whether or not your kid's gonna get sick. All of that is draining your system and it's slowing your car down. And even if you're eating well, you think you're in a caloric deficit, you work out a lot, You're doing the things to keep the light on, but your light may be flickering. It may be dull because your lifestyle has not been addressed. You have to address the environment that you're in if you want to see change and sustain that change. So how do we make this shift? First of all, I'm going to say it. You need fucking sleep. I'm sorry to curse, but it's true. People ask me all the time if they should wake up an hour earlier to fit a workout in. And my answer is consistent. If you are always consistently getting less than seven hours of sleep, no, you shouldn't be sacrificing an hour of sleep to work out. It's better for you to get the sleep in than it is to do the workout. Second, you should be moving more often throughout your day than just your workout. Our bodies were not built to sit in a chair all day. And look, personally, I'm bad at this one. I have to consciously plan times to move throughout my day. I know you don't think that's the case because I'm a fitness trainer, but I truly like I will sit in a chair. My butt will be suctioned to this chair all day if I let it. I have to schedule it. It doesn't come natural to me. And so if it doesn't come natural to you, girl, you ain't alone. Third, you need to be eating enough, especially protein and fiber. Undereating does you no good. If you're trying to lose fat, yes, being in a deficit is going to be necessary, but it's a small caloric deficit. It does not need to be huge. Skipping meals is a surefire way to keep your light dull, in my opinion. And finally, here comes a little bit more tough love. You are going to need to reduce your mental overload. You need simpler routines to handle your stress because look, life is going to throw stress at us, right? The goal should not be to have a stress-free life. The goal is to have a life that responds to stress without requiring this Herculean effort. You cannot get rid of stress in your life, but you can change how you react to it and that's how you're going to set up your environment to be more optimized for fat loss for muscle gain and for feeling better in your body every single day women throw more on their plate trying to solve stress with more chaos and I so badly want to help you recognize that you cannot fight burnout with hustle you have to build the right framework in your mind in your schedule and in your day if you want your body to be supported enough to lose weight to gain muscle and to feel good like you have to have an optimized life and I'm not saying it needs to be completely overhauled. I'm just saying you need to edit it. You need to simplify it so that you wake up feeling supported and then you can go and tackle the stresses of the day and achieve your goals when it comes to your body. If this resonates with you and you need help implementing this, there's a link in the show notes to join the Routine Reset. This is my live coaching program. You get calls with me two times a week to highlight where you need to refine your routine And it helps provide the motivation and accountability to change what you don't love in your life. I want to personally hold your hand as you achieve your goals. Because listen, your body isn't working against you. It wants you to feel good again. But it's only going to respond to the signals that you give it. So we've got to improve the signals you're sending. We've got to create the right environment so that it can respond in the way that you want and you will feel better for it. It's not just about turning the light on. It's about keeping that light bright. If you've been listening to the podcast for any length of time, you know what I mean. know that I like to keep things simple. Give me effective and efficient. And I see so many of the solutions that are being pushed out to women in the world. And there are these complicated life altering overhauls that women need to apply. Or there are these really, really quick fixes like a green juice. And I'm like, these are both extremes. Give me simple but still effective. And I so badly want to just help women. Come into their own and come into their strength. And that starts with our mindset. And I know that as a fitness trainer, I've spent the past decade helping people, you know, look good and feel good in their body. But I need to better address helping people look good and feel good in their mind. Because if we do that first, man, you can achieve anything. And I know, and I know, I feel it's a little silly saying that. I am sitting here LOLing at myself because I've been sitting on my own personal ass for the last two months not working out while I talk to you about all of this. But I think it's like the perfect kind of like example to give you. If we're being honest, it feels like a big ass setback. Like I can see myself getting softer in the mirror, I'll be honest. I can see myself losing muscle and that, for anyone, feels like a serious setback. But for someone who you know sells workout programs and is in a sports bra online in front of hundreds of thousands of people for a living it feels like a massive setback for me but I know it's not I'm truly not even worried about it because I know it's a blip on the radar it is a rounding error and the reason I feel that way is because I have taken so much time to work on my mindset and my confidence not only with just how my body looks but with how I show up when there is a setback in my life and I want to help you build a system so the next time you have a setback, you can stay positive, you can adjust your mindset, and you keep moving forward. Like at the end of the day, that is the goal. Remember, your body is not working against you. It's responding to the signals that you send it. So change the signals and change the story. I know that fat loss is a sticky, sticky, sticky subject. I know it's very personable, and I know that every woman is different, but I think that if I can help educate you on some of the larger macro things that are happening in your own body I guess maybe we would call them micro things that are happening in your own body hopefully a it makes you feel better that you know you're not spiraling and you're not completely out of control but be also help you realize what you can focus on and what you can control so that you can feel better right at the end of the day that's that's all I want I just want you to feel better okay thank you so much for listening if you enjoyed this episode I would love if you could comment your thoughts if you're on Spotify leave a review if you're on Apple it would be much appreciated and I hope you have a fantastic filter-free Friday.