Curious Cat

The Bridge to the River Styx

Jennifer Hotes Season 5 Episode 6

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We've been exploring bridges, these last weeks, intersections, spaces where dark meets light, sleep meets awake, East meets West, the physical meets the spiritual, science meets art, and this week, that bridge takes us across the River Styx.

This week, I'd like to share a little continuing education class I created for someone I love dearly. Her language as a lifelong educator is continuing education; coursework to keep credentials current, so I echoed that familiar language, using the same methods, including worksheets. 

The course, which is a conversation, meant to build a bridge from this life to what happens after that last breath.

Why? 

The fear of death can keep us from living a full life.  If we can overcome our initial aversion, I'm not saying becoming full-on comfortable with our imminent death, but familiar with the process, examine (and call out) at our preconceived notions and ideas, clear away old programming, and then use our imaginations to picture what we want to experience after death? Well, at worst, it is a thought experiment that makes our final days more peaceful; at best, we impact the death experience, creating a less jarring transition from life to afterlife. I don't see a downside to recognizing that one day all of us will expire.

Overcoming fears of death leads to a full-spectrum life experience. Let death control our every thought? It's the equivalent of wearing a dog cone - those clumsy plastic haloes we put on our beloved pets so they won't gnaw on a hot spot or pull out fresh stitches. Bulky, awkward, they impede vision, movement, the path forward. And the sad truth is, we've put those cones on ourselves to avoid thinking about, worrying, wondering or planning for what happens after we die. 

I worked in pediatric hospice as a volunteer fundraiser for nearly a decade. Hospice means the last 90 days of life, give or take, depending on the jurisdiction. And the pediatric part? Yep. Heartbreaking. 

I said yes to this work to pay it forward after our child had sepsis, and lived. I felt compelled to help others. What I learned is that there is medicine in living intentionally, and there is much to learn from end of life care.

Country songs beg us to live like we are dying, philosophers recognize the power of staying in the present moment; social media and therapists alike ask us to live out loud, to stretch past our comfort zones, say the things to loved ones now, and make plans to do the trips or visits now, not to put off living until all the planets align. 

All of that is huge. I produced an entire show  about conquering the fear of death in season one. It's worth a listen.

But, today we are on the edge of the River Styx. I'm holding your hand. We will be okay, better than okay for having dwelled here. 

Let's talk about our last exhales.

What to Listen/Watch/Read NEXT

Conquering (or at least co

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