The Only Child Diaries Podcast
The Only Child Diaries Podcast
The Brochure on Grieving a TV Show and Taking Care of Yourself
Spoiler Alert! Every now and then, our favorite forms of entertainment betray us in unexpected ways. After becoming emotionally invested in the TV show 9-1-1 during my recovery from knee surgery, my husband and I made it our weekly ritual. We loved the creative emergencies, the ensemble cast led by Angela Bassett and Peter Krause, and the camaraderie among the fictional firefighters of the 118. Then (spoiler alert!) came the episode that changed everything.
When the showrunners decided to kill off Captain Bobby Nash, I wasn't just surprised—I felt genuinely betrayed. While I understand their desire to honor the reality that first responders sometimes die in the line of duty, I couldn't help but question: isn't entertainment supposed to provide escapism? With real grief already weighing heavily in my life, particularly the loss of my beloved horse Dallas, I just said NO to watching the show rather than subject myself to an hour-long funeral episode. Sometimes protecting our emotional wellbeing means saying no to extra sadness.
This experience prompted deeper reflection on how we consume entertainment and where we draw emotional boundaries. I share the story of my friend who volunteered in animal rescue and refuses to watch any content featuring animals—a perspective I questioned at first. Whether you're navigating grief, managing your mental health, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the world, remember that it's okay to be selective about the emotional content you consume. Have you ever had to step away from a beloved show or book series because it hit too close to home? I'd love to hear your stories. Please follow the Only Child Diaries podcast and share with a friend who might appreciate this conversation about entertainment, boundaries, and the courage to protect your peace.
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Oh, I'm just a ray of sunshine. Welcome to the Only Child Diaries podcast. I'm your host, Tracy Wallace. Have you ever felt like you didn't receive the how-to brochure on life, that you didn't get enough guidance about major life issues? So did I. You don't have to be an only child to feel this way. In my podcast, we'll explore some of the best ways to better navigate adulting, while doing so with humor and light. Welcome everyone to the Only Child Diaries podcast.
Tracy:Today, I'm going to talk about, well, protecting yourself. Protecting yourself with grief. Yes, it's another episode about grief, but it's also about a TV show. Let me explain TV show. Let me explain Well, since before I had my double partial knee replacement surgery, that was just over two years ago I found the TV show 9-1-1.
Tracy:And this is the one with Angela Bassett and Peter Krause and several other actors in an ensemble cast right, and it's the story of the 118 fire department and all the things that they go through. And when I was convalescing with my surgery, before and after, I binge watched it and I really, for some reason, I found it. I don't remember how I found it. I binge watched it and I really, for some reason, I found it. I don't remember how I found it, but I found it and I really enjoyed watching it Because obviously I was sitting around a lot right. So then I was watching it one day and my husband got into it. So since then we've been big fans, because they have interesting stories, they always have interesting storylines that they come up with different scenarios that the 118 go into and have to deal with rescue operations, right, Creative emergencies. I was a big fan of the old show Emergency with Randolph Mantooth and Kevin Tye and I loved all the things that they had to do. For some reason that kind of stuff just appeals to me. So we've been watching, and every week now we've been looking forward to what would happen with all the gang, right, and we've been watching, and every week now we've been looking forward to what would happen with all the gang. And we've enjoyed the writing, We've enjoyed the acting, We've enjoyed getting to know the characters. We like to watch the camaraderie.
Tracy:My husband had a clue, because he's always looking at his phone when he's not doing something else, which is, he's always looking at his phone, and he had seen an article about what was going to happen in this particular episode what two weeks ago, and so we were watching it. I was completely blindsided. I didn't realize that this was going to happen. I didn't have any spoilers and here's a spoiler alert in case you haven't seen it, so you can stop listening now. Pause, turn it off, whatever you have to do, Are you ready?
Tracy:But one of the main characters, the captain, died, and I was like, wait, what Is this? Like a who Shot JR thing or something, or you know, was this all a dream that he died? Because how could they kill off Bobby? How could they do that Bobby? How could they do that? I mean, he, what? I mean, I don't get it. And so we were both crying and I was, I was mad.
Tracy:So I, you know there's articles online and I read some. My husband sent me others and I read about how and totally understandable, I read about how the showrunner whoever the heck is decided that because in a fire department, in the line of you know the first responders, that sometimes firefighters die, and he wanted to be true to that, and so he decided to kill off the captain. Character of the captain. I totally understand that, but the more I thought about it, the more mad I got, because I get it that it's honoring the true nature of working in a fire department. But I'm also watching a TV show, and I'm watching a TV show for entertainment purposes. And I'm watching a TV show for entertainment purposes and escapism right, I'm not watching a TV show for entertainment purposes so that I can be reminded of real life, that I can be reminded that people die in the line of duty and that people grieve and all that stuff, because there's already enough grief, right?
Tracy:So the week went by and then it was time to watch the new episode and there were previews of oh, next week is the funeral and next week everyone says goodbye to Bobby, and I'm like no, no. So my husband said oh, is there a new episode? Do you want to watch 9-1-1. And I said look, here's the thing. I've suffered loss, We've suffered loss and I'm dealing with that, and I don't need to set myself up for an hour's worth of crying about somebody that I've loved as a character, but I don't need to set myself up to cry again about something else that I was enjoying as entertainment.
Tracy:I'm mad. I'm mad at the show, I'm mad at the decision that they made and, looking at social media, a lot of people are feeling the same way and I don't think I'll ever watch the show again, or maybe I'll just wait until we're down the road and Bobby is a distant memory in the show's storyline. But I just I can't imagine, because you know they did have, they did have fill-in captains that didn't really work out, that just caused more grief. That wasn't. It wasn't like a camaraderie experience, it was like a adversarial relationship and I think they I don't know, I just think they ruined it. So there's that.
Tracy:And then, for whatever reason, on the weekend I don't think that the two things are related having very strong feelings again about the loss of my horse, and Saturday I've tried to push it down, I've tried to forget about it, I've tried to distract myself. Countless times I've tried to distract myself. Think about other things. You can only think about one thing at a time. When it comes up, I distract myself, whether it's with a podcast, a TV show, eating, it's doing something, whatever. I try to distract myself.
Tracy:But I was outside in the yard, I was working with the plants and I realized that I couldn't stop thinking about him and I was reliving the end of his life again, which wasn't a very good experience If you've been through the loss of an animal directly. You know that's not a good thing. Loss of an animal directly, no, that's not a good thing. And I just tried to think, okay, well, I've got to. You know, I can't keep pushing it down.
Tracy:So I, you know, I had my little meltdown outside while I was pulling the dead blooms off the azalea bushes and it was raining, it was starting to sprinkle on me and yeah, I did that. And then yesterday I just, I just had a total meltdown for whatever reason, but I did have a total meltdown and I really, I really cried. I'm trying to work through that. I don't know that I'll ever be over it. I just I don't think I will. But my little dog, Brownie, was trying to hug me and sidle up to me and she was very concerned. Animals know, animals are so intuitive and of course, when I'm ugly crying, she knows that something's wrong. So, you know, trying to work through it.
Tracy:But yeah, it wasn't a good day, it wasn't a good and it just, to me, reinforces my decision not to sign up for extra grief and extra sadness. I mean, do you sit around and go? Oh, I'm going to watch Old Yeller now because I want to see that dog die at the end. Or I mean, do you sign up for things that you know are sad? Sometimes you should, sure, but do you need to make yourself miserable on purpose? Sometimes you should, sure, but do you need to make yourself miserable on purpose? No, I had a friend who worked in animal.
Tracy:She volunteered, rather, she volunteered in animal rescue and she was one of the most stoic people that I'd met in a while, but she still had a heart. And she told me once that she, you know. I was like, oh, you should watch this movie. And she said no. And I said what she said no, I never watch anything that has animals in it. And I said why not? She goes because. And I said why not? She goes because, you know, in case there's something that goes wrong, I don't want to see it. And I was like, wow, that's, wow, I mean that's.
Tracy:You're really cutting yourself off from a lot of good stuff. I mean, I get it, Believe me, I get it. I don't want to be, you know, surprised like something like Old Yeller. But there's 101 Dalmatians. I mean, yeah, you have kind of a touchy point there, but none of the puppies actually die. So you're really kind of X-ing out a lot of the entertainment that you could see.
Tracy:There are good things, happy things, right, but I get it. I get it. Nobody wants to really experience sadness that they don't have to. Certainly so on that happy note, folks, I'm just a ray of sunshine On that happy note. That's all I've got for today. Next week we will tackle another topic together. I hope you'll join me. If you like this episode, please follow the Only Child Diaries podcast on Apple Podcasts or other platforms you might listen on and consider rating Only Child Diaries and writing a review. It helps others to find us. Please share it with a friend you think might like it as well. Visit my Instagram page Only Childaries or facebook only child diaries podcast. Thanks for listening. I'm tracy wallace and these are the only child diaries.
