End binging & emotional eating with Hunter Cardinal

004 Binging and emotional eating has been a lifelong struggle for me.  How about you? When you have no control over the foods you eat, it's a challenge (pretty much impossible) to get healthy!

In this interview, fabulous Hunter Cardinal, an expert in freeing women from emotional eating, shares her insights and some great tips and takeaways for success. She wants to help women gain freedom from the desperation, isolation and shame we feel when we can't seem to control our emotional eating.

When you ditch emotional eating and binging, you can finally enjoy what's important in life and feel good in your body again.

To find out more about Hunter, please visit her website at: www.huntercardinal.com or follow her on Instagram at: @hunter.eecoach

Curious about your motivational tendencies? 
Take this quiz: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/four-tendencies-quiz/

You can also find out more about the four tendencies in Gretchen Rubin's book: https://gretchenrubin.com/books/the-four-tendencies/intro/

Transcript

Hey there. Thanks for joining me today. I am so excited about today's topic. Uh, you know, we're into the second year of a worldwide pandemic and, uh, things are shifting in the right direction. At the moment. People are getting more freedoms. A lot of kids are going back to school again. And so things are relaxing a bit.

However, studies have shown that half of us have gained weight. And while I'd like to think that it was muscle. Math. A lot of us have actually gained about 29 pounds. And the experts are saying that it's because we're sedentary because we had to stay at home. And also because of the stress and there's more snacking and.

It's more emotional eating and binge eating happening. And so while it's not all about the weight gain, it's really more about what's behind the pounds added. I think it's because, you know, with the stress that's been going on, however, we're also in a situation where those of us who are in midlife, we happen to often gain weight anyways, and especially around the middle.

So. I think that this talk is super helpful because for those of us who were really just over the whole diet mentality and just want to get healthy, the thing that's still getting our way is emotional eating and binge eating and not all emotional eating is bad, but of course, Yeah, in the way that a lot of us are using it at this point.

Um, it's, it's not really helpful. And for people like myself, who've had a lifelong struggle with it. It can be very, very isolating as we talk about in this interview. And then the thing that I love about my guests is that we are in the same mindset that taking the focus off weight loss is really the most important thing at this point.

And. Instead, focusing on freedom from food addiction and body shaming, uh, because it's important to know that you get healthy to lose weight and you don't lose weight to get healthy, meaning that if your body is meant to release weight, then it'll happen once it gets healthy, but to beat it into submission, to starve it, to stress it out to body, shame your body.

Um, none of that really works, especially in the long haul and most diet programs really don't last very long. If. Aren't healthy or you're continuing to be stressed out. And so. I'm really excited to have our guest today because she has a lot of really deep experience in, uh, addressing emotional eating and binge eating.

And you can tell when you start hearing her talk that she really cares about this topic and is super health heart-centered, and really wants to give people the tools and the inspiration to be able to be successful in ditching emotional eating, and binge eating. So my guest's name is hunter Cardinal, and she is a certified emotional.

Mind body coach and worked with others to help them find freedom from unwanted eating concerns, such as emotional eating, binge eating overeating and food and weight obsession. Hunter is great at equipping women with strategies to stop overeating and using empowering and customizable. People see hunter out for support when they have a food addiction and they often feel really isolated and completely out of control hunters and eating psychology coats certified through the Institute for the psychology of eating.

She's also an expert at effective communication and goal setting. And as importantly, or maybe more importantly, hunter has been on the journey. 32 years and finding ways to address her own emotional eating and binge eating. So she comes from a place of deep insight and experience. And in this interview, she shares a lot of really great ideas and concepts and tips on how to get started in ditching emotional and binge eating.

So let's get started and dive right into the interview. Hi hunter. I am so excited to have you here on podcasts. So good to be here. Yeah. This is such a big topic because, um, I know that so many people are struggling with emotional eating and everybody has your unique story, especially now more than ever.

I think that it's so relevant and I'm so excited that you're here because I know that the information you're about to share will be so helpful to so many people. That's great. Thank you so much for having. Yeah, absolutely. So I was wondering if we could start off with you sharing how you got into helping people with the emotional eating and binge eating.

Okay. Well, I actually grew up overweight and had an unhealthy relationship with food and food was a much larger part of my life than I wanted it to be. I didn't even realize it probably at the time, but having that experience and losing weight and gaining weight and being a chronic yo-yo diet. And had to have a lot of food and weight obsession.

Um, I wasn't sure even how to ask for help or get help. And I did get help right after college. And so I've been working on my own journey for 32 years. And within that time period, and especially within the last seven to 10 years, I've learned so much that I just started helping other people. Because even in the program support program and we help other people.

And I decided to, um, go to the Institute of psychology of eating and that's where I got my certification and have had a lot of other course experience. But the most experience that I have is my own experience, my own life experience. And that's what I've found to be the most useful as I help other people.

And so it's become a passion. To help people to have maybe a less Securitas route than I had my big get to recovery a little bit quicker than 32 years. Um, but the whole time has been just a real growing experience and I'm thankful that I walked into those rooms to get help at 22. It's actually been progress ever since then.

So I want to help other people not be in bondage to food and weight obsession and emotional eating and binge eating. Because right now it's such an easy go-to and such an accepted conviction that it's, it's difficult sometimes to get out of it. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that. So true. Isn't it?

I mean, a lot of times we don't know where to go and I think there's a diversion of the focus on. Um, well, I mean, I still need to lose weight. And so you hang onto two opposing ideas about how to be comfortable and natural around food. But at the same time, you have this idea that there are rules and you have to follow them.

And so you don't know what to do because you feel like you need to choose to be happy with yourself or. The other right. I mean, just kind of to, to continue restricting and being on this cycle. So, so what were the most important, um, tip and make tipping points that you experienced on your journey? Well, when I reached my bottom, I, um, I was actually.

It was after college graduation and I was working in a job. And in a place that you would think would be speed, you know, very happy experience. And it wasn't, and what I'd done is I've gone from a place of being in college with a lot of friends, tons and tons of friends to a place where I was mostly, mostly isolated.

And I was in a huge cycle of binging and restricting where I would binge and then go several days without food and then binge again. And it became those that, that little cycle got smaller and smaller and my life got smaller and smaller. And that's when I finally reached out for help. And I'm now very thankful for that because I had to really, um, I had to do it myself.

I had to figure it out myself because I was. Made a lot of textbook things that you see in the DSM when it came to my food issues. So I didn't really know what my problem was. And so there was a lot of shame and guilt about that. So even to be able to experience understanding what your own problem is, and be at a different.

And it's not your label. It's not what you have to be the rest of your life. It's not the only part of you. It's just a part of you. But to have that is very valuable because then you can be in the position where you can be around other people that understand your struggle. And that's where the help really comes as winner in, uh, uh, other, when you're not isolated and another group where people understand where you're coming from, and then you can look at their path and see what you can obtain from what they've.

And then that was, that was really my biggest tipping point. And then, um, I had a relapse and, um, 2009, which was very emotional and where I basically experimented some more with some foods that for me, that did not work. And that gave me another sense of, I think the path that I was on before that relapse was the best, because.

I'd like you said right now that there's a lot of talk about different ways to handle weight loss, different ways to handle binge-eating and emotional eating and, you know, even being an emotional eating coach, I'm going to say that all emotional eating is not bad. We were made to be comforted. You know, basically we were comforted by mother's milk, you know, but at the same time when it becomes problematic and when it's affecting the rest of your life and it's the only go-to you have, you know, then.

So there was a lot. And right now I noticed even in social media, there's a lot of, if you been say you have a boundary, well then your diet mentality, because you have food rules, but at the same way, if you have to meet food rules, you know, it's, it's like, there's a lot of different signals we're sending out there today.

So I want to help people. Yeah. And I want to help people find what's best for them because truly there's probably. You have to find what works for you. And I think a lot of people try a lot of things that don't work for them, but they don't even know yet what does work for them, but then they know what doesn't work for them.

That's what they need. They need a customized plan, not just, you know, go do this, this program or that program. It needs to be something that works for. Wow. There are so many pros and what you were saying. Um, so one of the things I heard was the tipping point for you was that you were by yourself and you were feeling.

This is kind of a desperate situation. What can I do? And you started searching and you started finding people who were like minded instead of kind of trying to do it on your own, which is probably one of the key factors. And then, um, finding out that there was something that was working because you were having other people who were able to be on the journey with you and collaborate and get ideas so that you're not feeling like, um, so much shame and.

I meant about the whole thing. And then finding something specific that worked for you. And then, uh, sounds like, you know, uh, I guess emotional eating something emotional happened and then tip you off path. And then you realize it was something that really worked for you and maybe as a contrast. So you went back to it.

So you REL realize that sort of reinforced the thing that was the. The right path for you towards healing, and then understanding that it's kind of different for everybody, but this is kind of a world where there's just so much confusion and mixed messages and signals. And there's like, I love what you said.

It's different for everybody because you figure, oh, this is the right path because this influencer, or whoever is saying that this is the way to go. And if they're not doing it right, for some reason, this their fault versus like, it's not the right thing for them. And so. It perpetuates that shame and that feeling that I'm just not doing it.

Right. And maybe this isn't for me. It, which is all disempowering. Exactly. Yeah. So when you coach somebody, can you walk me through maybe the steps or how you, what your, how you approach the process? Well, the neat thing about this. You know, right. As I'm sure you do refine it as we go along, but this is coming to pass even in the last few years has been.

The first thing that I do is I want to say, can you tell me more about yourself so they can, how much do you know about yourself? And so there are things such as learning about your temperament. How do you learn, how do you learn? How do you receive information, but mainly how are you. And so the first thing we go over, what are all the things that have not worked for you?

Because most people that come to me have tried a lot of different things. And I've been in this industry for a long, you know, in this, uh, not industry, but in this, um, area of expertise where they don't have expertise yet, you know, I was really experimenting, experimenting with what has worked, not worked for them.

They haven't really found what's worked for them. They just know what doesn't work. So we go over what worked, what has not worked for you. And then we go over what motivates. You know, and then we wait, then we go over. Maybe even take a little, um, temperament tests to know how I should coach you because coaching someone who is.

More of a rule follower versus someone who's a questioner or a rebel, that's the different ball game. So I want to get to know the person first, right? So that's the first step in letting them understand themselves. And if they have not done that part yet, that's where this work. And then we actually, we actually look at their food, which it sounds a little bit obvious, but there are, as you know, there are a lot of addictive substances out there that are very powerful and some of them can actually hide it, Jack our brain and just, you know, give us more of a hit than others.

Like, you know, find sugar, white flour. And we need to look at how much of this could be physiological because we look at okay, how many of those powerful substances are already in your food plan? And are you eating enough? Because most women right now, if they want to lose weight, they're not eating enough.

They actually need to nourish their body first for their body to be able to release that way. And so they're just doing the skip breakfast, you know, bar for lunch kind of thing. And so we need to see if you're getting the nourishment, you know, And then we actually go into, okay, what works for you? What boundaries will work, what tips and tricks will work.

And then, and the process of all of that, we'll usually find out more about the emotional part, right. And that's where the real work comes because they say, if you don't know, don't know. Why you can't stop, stop, and you'll find out why you can't stop, because it's the thing of, you know, what, what are you eating or what's eating you is when you start putting the boundaries in place.

And that thing of feels uncomfortable, then you'll realize what are the reasons behind if you have emotional eating, but, but we have to look at the physiological first because that sometimes can help a lot of the credit. Yeah, I ended up having, so we look at that first and then we progress and then we go again to the customized way that person needs to learn.

Yeah. I love that. That makes a lot of sense. It's so true. There's so many, I think that takes the shame and the blame, um, and the feeling of lack of willpower from. I guess, you know, those kinds of emotions will make you sad and make you feel like grabbing something. And so taking the charge off of that idea of lack of willpower and understanding that there's potentially chemicals that you're eating and the food industry has been designed to, they have chemists out there designing foods to be hyper palatable.

And so, um, there's that aspect of it. It's sort of like you're, you're being manipulated, but. Marketing and food companies, unfortunately, but then the other piece I said, you said it could be biochemistry and other things. And so it's hard to fight that when that's driving the ship for sure. Um, but I also liked what you said about, um, introspection and really understanding yourself because then you're really customizing the process versus just doing somebody else's program.

Um, what worked for somebody else versus what's gonna work for you in particular. Especially since we're not looking for a quick fix. Um, most of my coaching is not a quick fix. It's okay. Are you really ready for sustainable change? Because I want this to be the last program. You know, the last program, the last, you know, house on the block where you're not having to continue to search, I want you to find your solution.

Yeah. If that makes a lot of sense, because as you said, a lot of us are, I don't even know too many people who haven't been on a diet and. Some kind of program for health and wellness and it just cycling through and, you know, just doing different things. And that's why, as you said, they're experts at a lot of different things, but not have their own, their own path or what's going to work for them.

So when, when people come to you, hunter, what is the thing that set them on this path to emotional eating? How did, how does it all begin just to kind of dial back a bit. You know, we do need to look at that of when usually will say, can you walk me through just really, you know, you don't have to go into hours, but just a real quick span of your growing up years, your high school years, or, you know, your twenties or thirties or even forties, but, or like before marriage, after marriage, before kids, after kids, because you can see the patterns and, you know, what's, what's interesting is most people.

Do remember those moments. They remember the moment when they, you know, were really hurt and they turned to food, or they remember the moments of major stress when that became the food became their friend. But at the same time, a lot of things have just been developed as habits and they've linked habits together and they've linked memories together.

They're not even. They might not even be aware of. So just to do that quick sweep of, you know, when, when did this start, you know, when do you remember this starting, that the problem that you have, and, uh, the other question I'll always ask, has there been any time that it's been better, has them at a time when it's like released itself when there's been some relief or some periods of time where this was not a problem, and that gives you a lot of clues to what signaling the behavior.

Because if they ask for the person, who's maybe had a time where it was not that hard. Okay. Well, why wasn't it? So we look at what has been a period of time of, um, of it not being a exasperated or the problem not being as severe, but usually they come to me at the point when they're not feeling in control.

And so they are feeling out of control. So we can sort of just say, okay, let's just put a pen where we are now and let's go back. And look at, look at where, where this started or, and we don't do all that, you know, at one time, because that can be overwhelming, but you kind of start putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

Oh, that's really interesting. So to really going through and looking at the triggers and the patterns that the person has been experiencing over time, And I, when I do, um, I used to do an emotional eating workshop where we worked through things together. And the very first thing we did was triggers. And, you know, we, and that's one of the major teachings that we go through right in there, after we figured out if their food is in the right place.

And we will talk about all the things that can trigger us now, because it's not. It's not just a sad feelings. It can be the happy and excitement feelings. It's not just feelings. It can be situations. It actually can be people. It actually can be, um, uh, repeated events like, you know, a yearly work party or yearly Christmas party or yearly family reunion.

And that can be it all sorts of things can trigger us. And that used to be step one. But then recently I add in the step one is the knowing yourself first. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. It just gives you kind of a foundation and then looking at the triggers, um, and how they can send you into the wrong direction.

So when, when you have somebody come to you, what are the different things that help them be successful? What kind of mindset things, uh, need to be in place? A lot of people that come to me do know a lot about nutrition and they know a lot about what to do, but they're having a hard time doing. And that has also, you know, leads to the shame and guilt.

So for a lot of people now it's really more work on the mindset. Once we do those, those initial things, we're going to work on the mindset, you know, it's, you hear a lot about it being our self-talk really ties, um, can rule us. And so I need to find out what your brain is saying to you about these things.

And a lot of it, I mean, an unbelievable amount of it is all or nothing. Is that perfectionism and that, oh yeah. Well, I've, I've, I'm off track now, so I might as well just eat it all and I'll start tomorrow. So that's it. That takes time. Okay. All or nothing thinking takes time too. I was going to say repair, but to.

Not sidetrack even, but to, to reroute, you know, to really change your neuropathways in your brain because your brain wants to go to what's familiar and what's pleasurable. And so that's, what's familiar is that kind of self-talk so the all or nothing is a big thing. And the perfectionism is a big thing.

Um, And maybe moving away from the quick fix is a big thing. Cause we still have a target. You know, we want to lose this weight by your son's graduation or, you know, then that, that puts extra pressure. Of course it makes a lot of times makes everything. Um, but also the self-talk with how they treat themselves, you know, and how they think about their body and how they always, a lot of people always want to be smaller and always want to lose five more pounds and want a lower number.

So that's that doesn't that doesn't go away really quickly. That takes a while. Change your unhealthy thinking about your body in your way. And that's, it becomes almost like an obsession. You have to train your way of thinking into a new way of thinking, because now it's going to be a more positive experience in that.

Um, cheerleading and it takes support and accountability. And you're, you are, you're changing your neuropathways of your brain when it always wants to go back to, I am a failure. I am a flop and I'm a big fat slob because I can't stop eating. And this has been my I'm so different and I'm a freak, you know, to wait a second.

Um, I, you know, I am a child of God. I am loved and I need to. To figure out a better way, something else better to say to myself and figure out some different self-talk and then I'm going to have to deal with the number on the scale. And then I have to deal with what I feel like in my genes. And then I need to maybe throw away the jeans that haven't had.

It fits, you know, night's bay. So, oh, that's a long answer, but if I was all of that and take some time, but the mindset really it, because we have been so brainwashed, the mindset is really the harder piece and the thing you've really got to work. And some of it, some of us may have to work on it the rest of our life.

Yeah. You know, I'm glad that you said that because I was going to say that, um, Yeah, as you said, a lot of it is brainwashing. We've been told over time how we're supposed to look, how we're supposed to dress and you know, not to take up a lot of space and this is pretty, and this isn't pretty, this is acceptable, this isn't acceptable.

And th you know, I've seen this in my practice and I'm assuming it's the same for you. A lot of the people that show up or. People they're exceptional, very smart, very successful. Um, they are perfectionist, so they do a lot of things really well. It kind of drives them, but then it works against their favor when they're looking for something that really is impossible, which is some, um, and it changes, right?

What's the season what's, what's pretty or acceptable and attractive. And so people are always shifting gears and trying to fit into something that, um, is not, not really obtainable. So. So, what you're saying is sometimes it's going to be a lifetime process, but we're just on steps that people can take to start accepting themselves and loving who they are and how they.

Well, we may have as file to take care of our thinking, but we can, we can change what we're exposing ourselves to. And one of the things I'm saying now is I'm saying, okay, show me that not really literally show me I did this with some of my friends, but show me who you're following. You know, who are you following in Instagram?

What are you looking at? Because if you pick out all the people that have, yeah. You'd like why you like that person? Because they've lost. But you don't know really what their insights are and every time you bring them up there, because they're what you think is Zen and beautiful, then you're your fig triggering that for yourself.

And if they don't have what you want, they don't have true inner peace. Find the people who have the inner peace find people who have what you want. That's who you need to be following not, but that means not just white OSS. It needs to, you know, changing the whole person. So if these, if, if clicking on these, these different accounts is triggering it for you, then you might need to unfollow some people.

And that's kind of a practical thing. You can say let's unfollow. So you're not exposing that to yourself all the time. And then, you know, it's the whole thing of be careful who you hang around, you know, because we become the five people we hang around the most and make sure you have positive people in your room.

They can help you with this because if you're around people that are not encouraging you in this area, then it's going to be even harder for, you know, for it to change. And then it, but you might have to, you know, you can't, can't help exclude everybody. And you can't say that everybody is toxic, but you do want to remove the toxic people from your life.

But you also want to add the positive people. And at the very least you need a cheerleader. You need somebody coming alongside you. That can be your, the, the voice in your head. There are really tell you the lies that are the voices in your head and help you create some new voices. Those are just some of those tips I've thought about, um, off the top of my head.

No, I love them. It makes so much sense. I mean, it's like what you were saying about environment, not only. Like what you surrender. I like to say, take the enemy out of the house. You don't get that automatically. You have a leg up. Um, but I totally agree. I mean, my big, one of my big things that I love is community.

And it's really important as you said, who you hang out with because. I know that there was a study that shows that people who have a healthy lifestyle or outlook. Um, it's like you said, of the five people you hang out with. It's contagious. And I remember when I was young, I was reading all of the fitness magazines.

So that's like low tech, but that's like, I stopped reading all the fitness magazines, cosmetology, uh, cosmopolitan glamour, all of those. And like you said, now we're at, at the. Tip your fingertips. Literally, you get to see these people who are super fit and, you know, the epitome of whatever beauty is supposed to be alike.

And it's really easy to get caught up in that and begin to think that that's really the normal and what we should be striving for. So it's so true. It becomes kind of programmed into after a while. And when you start looking at people who have more diversity of, you know, weight and body, um, And know that it's all beautiful.

It begins to be normalized. Whereas right now, having that really perfect physique seems like it's everywhere and people are taking pictures of themselves at their best, not at their worst. So you're getting this fake idea about like, you know, maybe there's a good lighting or a good angle or whatever they got going on.

They're not even, you know, that's not even the best for them. I mean, I've got some skinny pictures and some big pictures depending on the lighting. And, um, I won't, I won't be posting the ones where I feel. It's not the best lighting. So we're getting this idea of perfectionism because we can even manipulate pictures and, you know, brush them up and all kinds of things.

So it is kind of a dangerous thing to be out there and looking at social media as a benchmark and then your friends. Yeah, it really is. You know, and also just looking at people's, um, the timeframe, because I even hesitate to even bring up now that I've lost 50 pounds and maintained it. But if you. Well, and again, by the grace of God and air and the hard work, right?

So it's like, it's a process. But if you look at someone that says they have lost that amount of weight, you may not know that it hasn't been very long. And one thing that I've learned being, you know, um, round in recovery this long it's every body, unfortunately, Um, not to say this. I mean, nobody understands this more than me, so this is not a negative statement.

It's a, it's just a part of the process. There are a very few percentage of people. That have lost weight and maintained it for more than a year. You would not believe the statistic. It is unbelievable. The, the low his, so that can be, that can be alarming or depressing, but at the same time, just being mindful of someone, who's had a quick weight loss who could have a quick weight gain and find the people who are doing something else besides promoting.

You know that they are there because that, that makes me almost nervous to talk about it because I don't want to say this. I w so of course I want my clients to lose weight and I w it's a goal of theirs and that is very possible. But if it's the only goal, then it's one that can slip through your fingers really easily.

And they're not many, not many people who have stayed with it and stayed with the work or whatever they needed to do. Um, which bothered me, like, I just want to say I have the full compassion. I mean, that's my, that's my area. That's where I get so compassionate, but be careful who you're listening to when it comes to looking to see how long they have been in the recovery world and not the, you know, the, the, the diet cycle or the, um, Ben's recovery, but back to relapse.

Yeah, that's such a good point. There are people who, you know, they did one thing and maybe it's an extreme off the beaten passing, and now they're successful in teams, all kinds of pictures and they're giving information. And again, it's like that cookie cutter. Um, and if it's extreme, you can't really maintain it.

And it could be really damaging often is your health and wellbeing. Um, and like you said, um, when I was in, um, a group that was. For food, sensitivities and sugar, um, addiction, um, the people who focus on their healing journey, um, you know, how much better they're feeling, those other things, how more energy and feeling like, um, like moving all of a sudden, you know, it changes how you feel about yourself and, and getting healthier and getting there, like blood panel and everything normalized.

Um, people who focus on. And the small wins and the steps that they were taking towards improvement and kind of enjoying the journey. We're the ones who were able to have sustainable results and the ones that kept looking at the scale. Um, yeah. I, I wonder about how you feel about that looking at the scale.

Cause I feel like it's. A good benchmark. Uh, and, and to actually not look at it that much. Oh, well, I, I, I do have feelings about that, but I have to know that everybody, I really do believe this is like, everybody needs to find what works for them on this. But I know that for me, that number has a lot of power and that number can, can change my feelings about myself.

They can change my feelings of success are not necessarily my worst, but definitely how. I don't know, unfortunately how I carry myself or it has, it still has a lot more power than I needed to. So I was obsessed with that number. And so finally I had to start weaning myself off the scale and because I'm a huge accountability person, I do better with accountability.

I literally had to write a contract to stop weighing myself all the time, you know, so I could get. And when I explained to a friend who doesn't have the same issue, all the things that go in my head because of Wayne. Well, that must be exhausting. And I started crying. I said it is. And so I made, yeah, so I made a, made a contract not to weigh myself until my next doctor's appointment, which was like a yearly doctor's appointment.

And so ever since then, not, not all, not exactly. But then I looked up how many years ago it was, it was probably about maybe 15 years ago. I try, I tried not to weigh, but once a year and. At a yearly appointment and that's not always been the case, but I have learned, even when you said, is that a good benchmark I've learned even more in the last year and a half of understanding about even more about nutrition and about fat loss and not weight loss is.

That you know, that this is a much better benchmark. If you need a benchmark to measure yourself and to take measurements, then to go by the way, because you know, it's all the stuff you've heard before, but you don't want to lose muscle. You want to gain muscle and muscle weighs more than so. And a lot of this can be, you know, we've all heard about the water rate and everything, but the benchmark is how do you feel in your club?

You know how, if you want to really know you would take measurements and I want to say I heard something so awesome. It was just two weeks ago. And I thought I had gotten to figure out how to, how to coin this, but it was basically, I don't even want to give an after picture. It's like, Yet. And I'm thinking about doing it on my birthday next week, but I I've never shown like a before and after picture because it feels so before and after, you know, it's like, ah, well, first of all, you have to have the nerve to be able to show the before picture.

But I was, that was a big deal. The first time I ever did that, but it's not an actor. I mean, this is just where I am today. And for the record I have one bite away and I really mean this. I have one bite away from being 300. I mean that's how much of a food ads I am. And so when I, again, I want to just clarify when I said that about people gaining their weight back, nobody understands that more than me, and that's why I have the boundaries in place that I have, but all you've got on after picture is how I am doing today.

You have no idea what's gonna happen with. Yeah, one year or five years or 10 years from now. So I thought I'm going to, I'm going to coin that phrase of, I have pitcher, you know, this is too much of the, of the, um, letting it be a benchmark forever after, you know, that is such a good point. And, you know, I think that it's like that with the health and wellness journey or, you know, as, as coaches, I think it's so powerful that you say, you know, I fluctuate I'm on and off.

I, you know, Every day. I I'm mindful about this, um, because you're not going to get to the point where it's not going to be a problem. You never thinking about it again, and it's all set and, um, yeah, there's a happily ever after it's a process and life happens and stress happens. Triggers pop up. It's really being mindful, adapting, as you said.

I mean, I love the, the things that you mentioned about just having the accountability, being kind to yourself, knowing that it's, um, accustomed process. It's not a cookie cutter for everybody and it's a journey. It's not a destination. And that's, that's all very powerful because there is a. Representation of this is the end and this is where, um, I'm going to be, and I'm, I'm done.

I have at the top of the hill, right. And a story. I beat this and conquered this. I mean, life happens and there's an ebb and flow and we can do whatever we can to stay healthy fit and everything. Um, but life happens in biochemistry, happens, exposures happened and stress happens and all of these things, and it's just, no, there's no finish line.

You know, we're just going to keep on going and we're going to keep experimenting and we're going to figure out what works and what doesn't. And we're hopefully going to have the support and the resources in order to make those changes. And sometimes it'll be easy and sometimes it's going to be hard and, you know, that's kind of.

The stuff, you know, it's like, it's like, you got to eventually go, oh dear. You know, I don't really like this grownup stuff, but this is sort of the way it works. And the more I accept it, the more I can grow and be more successful because you have learned what has worked and what hasn't, and you do have the resources.

And now you've built this team of support around you, but there's not a finished line. We're just doing the best we can and we're going to, and we're going to be as positive of cannabis. And when we fall down, we're going to get up all those, you know, all those sayings and every setback is can, some setbacks can be a setup for a comeback as my, one of my mentors says.

So, yeah. I love that. Yeah. It sounds like just being in a place where you're constantly looking at how to move forward and, um, bounce back from any kind of, you know, challenges. It's just an ongoing process. So. Well, what can a person expect in terms of, is it, do you call it recovery or, um, where they're in a place where they can manage their food choices and their emotional eating, what does that look like in, in your clients and in yourself?

This is the ideal path. As most people come to me and they do not feel in control, they feel out of control and that they have gotten into a place where they don't, they don't feel like they can make choices. They want. And what I'd like to do is set them up where there's a space between what they're thinking and what they're actually doing.

There's a, there's a, um, a moment of choice where they have now a choice where it's not overcoming them. You know, they are overcoming it, but for some of us, again, it's not ever going to be a cure. It's going to be more of a management or more of a path, but every single person is different. If you are more on the addiction side and have what I, what I consider an addict brain that you're not a moderator, you're an upstate need to be in there.

Saner. Then there may be some things that you need to accept about yourself that, that, that you'll have to make some major changes and keep them there. But a lot of people are again, growing as they come. So that's really even a customer as answer for that answer because, but what I want for them is to be able to have some freed up space in their mind.

What I really want to give them is a new way of thinking where if there's been any time thinking about food and weight, 95% of the time, then let's lower that percentage as much as possible. Because if they're thinking about food and weight for 95% of the time that only these 5% for everything else and for everybody else and everything else in their life.

But if I can free up that frame space where they can be three to live their life and be the best person they're called to be, then that's going to be taking some of that obsession away. And so what I want for them is freedom because this has been more like bonding. And now this can be more like freedom where they didn't have a choice and they're out of control.

And now they have a choice because of the tools they've been given and the recovery they've been given and everybody's definition of recovery or wellness can be different, but they're in a much freer place than when they first started coming to see me. Wow. And a lot of ways, I mean, that's really empowering because it's, it sounds absolutely doable just to move yourself in the right direction, whatever that means for you.

And it is really disempowering, isn't it? That, um, for the people who are in that whole overeating and emotional eating binge eating cycle, it's very solitary. There's a lot of shame. I think it's very brave to reach out for help and ask for something. To get them past that. I also feel like, um, from my own experience, sometimes you feel like it's your crutch and it comes from bird zone.

And so you kind of want to stick with it because you don't know if you can get past it. It seems like getting rid of your, like, you know, your comfort blanket. I mean, I remember when I was pregnant, suddenly my favorite thing ever been in dairies was not feeling anymore. And it was very distressing because now what do I do when I'm sad or uncomfortable?

Where do I go? And so it's letting it, it's doing something for you. It's giving you some benefit. And so I think there's some, there's so much courage for reaching out for help in the idea that there's something better out there for you and better coping, but also as you're in that binge mode. And a lot of times at nighttime, it's very solitary and don't want to be seen.

And so there's just so much shame and so much ideas about. Being in that place. And like you said, all that time spent thinking about food, eating the food, maybe hiding it or hiding the remnants or whatever it is and the cost and everything. And feeling that lack of control and then the rebound effect of like, what's what happens with your waistline, everything you're, it's like more also how uncomfortable it feels to, you know, you feel uncomfortable in your body and, and then you want to check out even more because it's uncomfortable being in your own skin.

So it is a really, really, I mean, to live 30 something year. I mean, I, I guess I've been, I can't even remember when everything started. So I would say, yeah, pretty much a lifetime. And it all started for me with the idea that, um, some, I was really little and it was under teenage years and somebody looked at me and told my mom, you know, she needed to lose some weight.

And so from then on, um, it was like, oh, I guess I'm not big enough. I mean, I'm not small enough and something's wrong, something's wrong. And I think that's the thing, right? Something's wrong with you and you need to fix it, right? Yeah. It's not, it's not. And that's what I would love to tell everybody it's not your fault.

And please don't be in isolation anymore. Cause that's the worst thing you can be as an isolation. You don't have to come talk to me, but come talk to someone, you know, because our secrets keep us sick. And the best part, the biggest step is asking for help. You know, even if you have to figure out a way to do it anonymously before you're, you know, more comfortable, but the biggest step is just taking that step and ask him for.

Because there is a better way and it might even be more wonderful than you ever imagined. Yeah. Can you, hunter, can you speak about what, um, accountability and the right people, what does that look like and feel like, and how do you find them? I know that, um, the, the best, there are bad things about technology, but there are some wonderful things about technology.

And so, so there are some sincere people out there. Um, who want to help you? Like thing? I, this is my passion. I mean, I could talk about this for hours on end. So there are people out there who are healthy, who want to help you. And so I would start looking for the healthy people in your life and maybe see if they have resources or asking professionals that you really do trust.

You know, hopefully you have someone you can talk to a counselor or a therapist, ask them what resources they have. But of course they can ask me and maybe I can connect them if it's not, if there's not a good fit for us, I could connect them with someone else. But I would love to help them find the resources because everybody's different.

Even with accountability and community, some people don't want to do things with a group. Some people don't want to do one-on-one. It would be better to be in a group. And that's all part of that temperament part. We're learning what our tendencies are. I'm a person that has to have accountability.

Everybody else could be just on it. On a program that's all online and that will work for them. That will kick it all in, you know, but some people need the face-to-face or to be, at least see faces on zoom in order to move forward. So find that what works for you and start exploring it. And you have no idea what might be out there.

That's new. And so, again, it's probably the healthy people don't follow just the physically healthy people follow the whole health peoples and they, they am sure you can find whatever's right. Yeah, I love that. I remember that, um, I was going through a real challenge in my life and I signed up for an online program and that was the first time I was in a group, a Facebook group.

And as you said, there's good, bad. And the dark side. Um, and it was really vulnerable posting in there, but I felt like, you know, I signed up for this program. I'm going to go all out. And, um, it wasn't really my style, um, to. Be public and be that open. But I figured, you know, I really wasn't a place where I wanted to get past this thing I was working on and.

Yeah, like you said, it was a very safe space, so it really matters who's leading it. And what kind of rules they have in place and that they have a zero tolerance for any negativity. Um, but being in there was the first time where, um, I reached out and I said, I really need to reframe I'm struggling. And I'm like, 10 people showed up and it didn't matter if they said the right thing, um, or not.

And the fact that I had never been that supported that quickly. Um, with like-minded people who got what I was going through that in and of itself gave me a lot of courage and inspiration. So I love that story. That is awesome. Yeah, it makes a difference too. Like you said, um, sometimes people aren't ready to make that big leap out there.

And, and so that one-on-one piece is so important because you get the confidentiality, but you have somebody who's able to, um, it's like that personal trainer, you can't see what you're doing cause you're in the frame. And so having somebody to spot you and be able to play back and like, okay, this is what you're, I'm seeing you say or think about yourself.

And you might think, oh, well, that's kind of harsh, you know, because somebody else is watching now you start thinking about it in a different way. Um, and so I, I find that there are some things that I wouldn't do, but for the fact that I had to report back to somebody, it's that thing about breaking commitments to yourself.

And it's like, what you're saying about, um, outside accountability. Um, there's just some people where you want to do well and you want to represent well for other people. Um, for some reason it's not there. And I think that's like a part of the journey for. Um, and so when you know that you have to report back to somebody, then you want to, you want to be able to have something to say, I do want to get you a wonderful resources for that.

It's called the four tendencies and I'm starting to get to my clients, clients, you know, before they'd come see me. And the book that I have is, is better than before. And if you take that little quiz, the four tendencies, which takes about five. You'll know what kind of accountability do you need? Because it is, are you following people's external expectations more than you do yourself?

Do you make it? Your problem is when you make it somebody else, but you don't make promises to yourself to educate. And that can tell you about how, who to reach out. Yeah, absolutely. And I can, I can share a link in the post. It's a really, really good resource for sure. Because just knowing that about yourself, that you don't feel bad that maybe you're not upholding it yourself because that's not how your personality works.

Finding a group of people is the right thing. And if you're able to uphold it yourself, then finding the right combination, just knowing how the, how, um, where you can. Do it yourself, but not have, but then that having that one-on-one to help you navigate through the, how I think is always really important to so that, um, you don't find a sea of things that aren't right for you and feel like I can uphold it and follow through, but it's, it's the wrong thing.

And it won't work, which is. Really, you know, it's disheartening right down. Right. Keep going. Don't give up just because it might not be that you tried a, and it didn't work, but keep, keep trying, because it might be a combination of things where you can have a one-on-one situation, but move into a group.

So this, you know, just keep this don't give up. Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, I wanted to thank you so much for all the wisdom that you've given us today about the journey of improving and getting freedom from emotional eating and binge eating. I think that's a really great reframe. Um, you're not going to get rid of everything all at once.

Um, it's part of a journey and it's personalized and could be gentle and empowering versus, you know, demoralizing and frustrating. And I love that you say that you help guide them to empower them, to understand themselves. It's not that they're going to rely on you and you're going to be the one and you know, everything, but it sounds like you're tapping into what they already know and their experience, and what's going to work for them.

And it's about getting to. Additional freedom and more and more time living life, instead of worrying about something that really isn't at the end of the day, the most important thing. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. So where can people find you hunter, if they want to find out more about you and work with you?

Um, Instagram I'm hunter E coach, and my website is hunter Cardinal ducks. Perfect. And I'll go ahead and post that in the show notes as well. Thank you so much again for joining us for this episode. Um, they really found this information helpful, and I can tell that you are really heart-centered and really care about people, and that's why you do what you do.

It's not just a job for you. It's something that is a heart centered mission. Thank you so much. It has been my pleasure to be here. It's been just a joy to be able to talk to you. Thank you. Okay. So there were a lot of really good takeaways from that interview. One is to ditch any social media or magazine or person that makes you feel bad about yourself or your appearance also know your style of motivation and the site or the resource that hunter mentions is Gretchen Rubin's.

Better than before. And I'll post in the show notes that, uh, linked to the four tendencies, there's actually a quiz and a, so people are either an upholder. So those are more rare. And those are the people that are able to be accountable to themselves once they're set their mind to something. And then. The other, uh, tendency at that C obliger or somebody who is willing to do something if they're accountable.

So if they say they're going to do something to other, another group of people, um, they don't want to let others down. And so when they mentioned it, or if they're working with a group of people on a team, then they're more likely to follow through for themselves and for everybody else. And then there's a rebel people who kind of do the.

Um, and fight against the thing. And so you have to find different ways to motivate yourself if you're a rebel. And then there's the question are people who are able to follow through, but they need to get all of their questions answered. So look for the link to the quiz and find out which are your tendency.

Sometimes people are combination. Like for me, I tend to be an upholder when it comes to studying online courses. Hello, geek alert. Um, but then for some things like self-care, um, having an accountability is really important because I am to the core, um, more of a caregiver type personality. So learning to practice self care is something I'm supposed to learn in this lifetime and having accountability.

And I do have an awesome one. Um, you know, who you are is it's been amazing for me. Another takeaway is also to know yourself, make a list of your food triggers, the things that send you over and into the zone of emotional eating, or binge eating and find ways to address them also to know that you are not alone find support and you can have accountability based on your.

Tendency. If you're an upholder, it might be a good idea just to get the right tools into your toolkit, through one-on-one coaching. And then if you happen to be an obliger who needs a group of people for support, then, um, group, uh, online group, or maybe some other route support can be really helpful. If that's your tendency.

And also it's important to note that the solutions to emotional eating and binge eating are numerous. And so it's important to find the thing that works for you. And it's often very customized and very personal. And then your self-talk matters. What you say to yourself. Yeah. I perceive yourself and, um, just being positive and encouraging instead of putting yourself down on this journey is going to make a huge difference.

And finally, it's not about the weight loss. It's about getting healthy and it's about taking good care of yourself, having buddy love and acceptance, which we touched upon, but that's probably for another interview because it's so important. So I hope that you take action on. Tips and insights, and I wish you the best of luck in ditching emotional eating, and binge eating.

And if you'd like to stay in touch, please subscribe at this point. If you haven't already. And until next time lighten up ladies, .