The power of sparking JOY (Tiara strongly recommended....) w/ Stacy Marx

006 

I love this quote: "Joy is a decision, a really brave one about how you are going to respond to life 
- West Stafford.

Can it be that easy? Is joy just a decision away?

Today's guest, Stacy Marx, says it's a definite YES! Unfortunately, many of us high-achieving ladies draw a blank when asked what brings us pure, honest joy (other than making our loved ones smile ;)). 

Join us for today's episode with Stacy to find out how she recovered from the darkest moments of her life, and how she cultivated a SUPERPOWER of JOY to thrive through it! 

As a result, Stacy has created a coaching program to gift her clients with the tips and techniques to infuse joy and wellbeing into their lives, so they can be happier, healthier, and more resilient.

Connect with Stacy at:
Instagram @gritwellness (MUST SEE- fun, joyful artwork!)
www.gritwellness.com
stacy@gritwellness.com

Transcript

Hi, Stacy. I am so excited to have you on the show today. I was wondering if, yeah, I was wondering if you could share about yourself and how you got into the work that you do with joy. 

Yeah, absolutely. So  my story, I suppose, is kind of similar to a lot of, practitioners in that I got into what I'm doing.

Cause I was having my own health troubles. And for me it was, , a diagnosis of an underactive, thyroid and lymphedema, which is a fat cell disorder.  I was like, I don't like that answer like that. That's not what I wanted to hear. And,  my doctor was very straightforward and she said, you know what?

It actually doesn't matter  what's up with your fight, right? Because we're going to treat you with the same exact protocol, no matter what, and it doesn't matter about the swelling in your legs, because that's probably just related to your thyroid. We'll put you on medication, you'll be fine. And, , in three weeks time, your legs won't swell anymore and you won't have these wild weight fluctuations and everything will be magically better.

And of course that was not the case. So  I trained as a health coach in the first place because I wanted to be able to run lab tests on myself. Cause I just wasn't happy with that.  What I was being told by my doctors. And then once I fell down that rabbit hole, like I went nuts with it.

I had an office-based job. I was working in local government. So it was a very different, , environment , from health. Like the most unhealthy place you could possibly be. I worked with politicians and really high level ones and it was a miserable environment and it was stressful and it was a lot of egos.

 And so it wasn't about taking care of yourself. It wasn't about community. It wasn't about enjoying or joy or feeling good or being healthy. And as I was doing my training and I was listening to all these webinars and I was trying to figure out my own. Like magical fix, for myself, like something that I could come up with that no one else could.

 I decided that actually I needed to make a whole career change because the job I was doing while it was fascinating and it was really an unusual position, it just was sucking the life out of me. So I made this leap,  and started focusing on health mostly for myself, but the more that I got into it, the more I thought, I'm not the only one going through this, and I'm not the only one who isn't going to be satisfied with the run of the mill answers that we're getting.

 And so I just thought, there must be more  that I can do right. There must be more people that I can help. , and really at the start of it, I realized how much I love the beginning of a process. I like helping people get started. I went gung ho with my gluten-free diet.

Like I went for it. Whole-hog  and I thought  that's so daunting for some people to learn how to adapt a recipe or to give up something, you know? Cause they feel like they're giving up things, right. Everybody feels not everybody feels, we very often talk about changing your diet as if you are sacrificing everything that is good and wonderful in your life.

Right? Like you're giving up anything. You will never have pleasure again, you'll look and you'll never eat in a restaurant. You'll never enjoy your food. Right. It's always going to be terrible. And I don't subscribe to that. I love food, but of course there's a way around it. And there are ways to find pleasure and to enjoy yourself.

 And so,  I, as I'm working with people,  it's evolved into not only how can I feel better and how can I get started on this journey, but actually, how can I focus on how it makes me feel good and what's that going to do for me? And I think those are, it's a different way of looking at it.

I think,  that's my perspective that it's not so much about what am I going to do? What am I going to give up? Or how am I gonna change things it's more about, well, actually, if I do something that makes me feel really good, what are those benefits going to be like, how that's going to make me feel better.

Right. And if I'm feeling better, And I'm just doing those little teeny things, those little tweaks that just bring me absolutely pleasure. Then I'm going to get out here like that. That's how I, that's how I think of it. And maybe that's a really simplistic view,  but why not make it as simple as possible?

Why? I don't think that feeling good in any level has to be really complicated or painful. Oh my gosh. I love that. Absolutely. I don't think you've seen the tagline we're in this process of doing the interviews and the tagline is choose joy. And there's so many things where I was looking at what you were saying and what you do so much alignment.

 I totally. Being simplified. I mean, people are in a day and age where we're overwhelmed. There's so much stress going on right now. Anybody who looks at what they're doing on a day to day, we're rushing around there's constant changes, you know, right now where I hopefully I'm shifting into a better place from a two year worldwide pandemic.

And so things are uncertain. And so any big changes, anything that makes you feel like you're confined or a half, two, or whatever, just feels like an additional thing to stress about and to navigate. And so why not make it simple? And when it's simple, then people are more likely to do it. And like you said, joy is accessible.

It's not something that we have to struggle with and, build on and then suddenly get to the top of the mountain. And so why not? , access. As much as possible. So I think that that's true. I totally agree with you. I think it's the more simplified ,the better

why did you choose joy actually? And how is that different from happiness? So, well, this is probably like slightly ugly reason, but part of my health journey, because I was so extreme in my approach and my marriage wasn't ideal. It really brought on the end of it. And so while my ex-husband and I are friends and,  we were together a long time.

 And I should preface this by saying we never had anything in common. We just like, we spent all of our time laughing, but mostly at each other, not each other, you know, like we always had fun and we still do, but it wasn't because we agreed on anything, anything. So when I just got more and more and more into health, he was like, well, how are we going to go to the pub and drink beers if you're gluten free and how are we going to get it?

The few things that we enjoy together suddenly I was saying, well, I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm not going to go to that restaurant because I'm still navigating what I'm going to eat and how I'm going to eat and what I want to do and, you know, whatever. And  so it really became so important to me.

To focus on those little things that were good. And I had a series. So while that was going on, you know, my husband and I, we were together for 15 years and you know, it, it was a long time coming when we got divorced. But at the end of it I suffered through three bereavements within six months, like big ones.

And it really broke me at the same time I was being bullied at work. Like I was just somebody, because this was before I left my job and went out on my own. So I just had this onslaught of absolute shit. Like I just, there was no other way to say, I just felt like crap. I cried every day for every year.

And you know, everybody's, story's going to be slightly different, but none of us should feel so much despair. Just getting out of bed in the morning. Right. Like I, I just, I just wanted to feel good. Right. So I wanted to focus on the things I enjoy. And going back to that whole idea of making things simple, like that that's good enough.

Okay. If that's good, that's going to get me through the day. Great. I'm going to wear red lipstick because that makes me really happy. And I've got a big mouth and people are going to see my smile. Right. And, you know, put, you know what I mean, write it. And so, um, and I think like little teeny pieces like that almost made it like, so made me feel stronger, made me feel like, okay, I can tackle the next thing I can, I can not cry today.

Or I can use less tissues today. Like whatever was going on. You know, little teeny pieces of focusing on what was good, made a big impact. And it was little, teeny, simple things that mattered the most to me, 

I totally get it. To those who don't know my story, my husband has a terminal diagnosis, so every morning I could wake up and think is everything going to be okay?

Is this going to be the day and freak myself out and feel really on defense mode all day long. Right. And feel scared. And so, just like with you. Thinking about , how do you embed sparks of joy throughout your day? , so yeah, that totally makes sense. And that's something that shouldn't be hard. It should be easy and should be embedded and it should be part of your day. A little Like surprise Stacy's paintings, like pops of color,  something that's cheerful, something that just sort of catches your attention and reminds you that there's beauty in the world. And plus two, those of you who haven't signed up to follow Stacy, get on her Instagram. , I started noticing, , paintings and color and circles and, joy 

Yeah. Why, why can't we prefer has to feel good, right? Like what can we expect? We can expect the horrible shit.

Right? We can expect something wrong. Yeah. We can expect that, like, you know, somebody is going to be running late or whatever it is, but more not the opposite. You know, those little things. Do you make a big difference? I think, , I was going to say to the paintings that you've referenced like that. Also in addition to color, because color, it interests me like that.

That's what I like. And, um, I got my degree in art, which is a far cry from all the jobs I've ever had, but, um,

but I enjoy it and, and actually I stop and think like, wait a second, I spent four years at university doing something I liked and never wanted to do as a career. That's not very common. Right. Like, I don't know. I just, so maybe that idea of joy like is kind of in there somewhere, you know? And it has been for a really, really long time.

But the paintings that you were talking about, um, a friend of mine encouraged me to take part in something called the a hundred day project and it's open to anybody. It's all about creativity, anything. Right. And, um, you pick what you want. So the first time he did it last year, I said, I cannot commit to this.

Like, this is a huge undertaking. What am I going to do? And my friends said, just do a few minutes. And I was like, oh right, okay. Actually I can do that. I can do five minutes a day. That's and that's what I did. So I did one painting last year for five minutes a day. And, um, but that, those five minutes you just, I just switch off from everything.

And all I'm thinking about is color and texture and, you know, it's completely absorbing and separate and it makes me really happy. So why not do that? Right. So I've continued with, with that, because I think, again, it is, it's such a tiny little step, right? It's just a few minutes out of my day, that's it? I don't, I don't spend hours on it.

It's clearly not like how I'm supporting myself, you know? Okay, well then maybe we should try and sell them. You know, like I just, you never know. My friend said that to me yesterday just sell them. And I was like,

why? That they're my doodles, but it is, um, it's about the process for me, you know, then that it's something accessible. It's something that brings me great joy and it's entertaining. And you know, other people have to look at it on Facebook or Instagram or whatever, and if they don't want to, then they just pass by and that's fine.

Well, I'm definitely sharing Graham handle since we're talking about. So Alicia is, might be saying, I'm going to see what she's doing. Yeah. Um, so mine is grit wellness, G R I T wellness. I'm on Instagram and on Facebook. Yeah. Okay, perfect. I think, you know, it's interesting because when you were doing that, I saw circles and colors and just like a lot of movement and all this energy and the paintings and everyday you were posting something different.

And I was reading this book called joyful when you read Fatel and they were talking about the things that tend to bring you joy, and it's like pops of color circles, , levity, anything that floats that kind of thing. And so when I saw it, it totally reminded, I just didn't know that that was a part of how you work with people.

So that was really interesting. Yeah. I love it.  Yeah, of course, like if you're, when you're coaching a person and you're talking about the topic of joy, , how do you help them figure out what brings them joy? What makes them happy? I remember when I was going through, I went through a divorce too, and.

Somebody else, like, what do you want to do? What makes you happy now? I totally drew a blank and didn't know. Yeah. And, and I think when we were in a position where we recently have to make that, but yes, to that, it's like a little wooo. I don't know. But, but it's interesting. Like if, you know, I said, um, that the idea of joy, like with maybe lurking in the back of my mind, you know, so many years ago when I started university, when I was applying or whatever, um, I, I think if we look back sometimes at what we used to do as a kid with wild abandon, sometimes that's a really good place to start.

Isn't it? You know, that friend's episode where Phoebe and Rachel go running and Phoebe's running like, like wild with arms and legs everywhere. And Rachel doesn't want to be seen with her because she's got her like very controlled, like jog and, um, but why not use that like childhood. Abandon and, and love.

So there are things that maybe we've kind of forgotten about that we loved as a kid that we can bring back the life painting or, um, you know, for someone else, it might be, um, cooking something specific that they used to eat when they were a child, you know, like it could be a memory that needs to be sparked.

It could be about taking time to actually stop and think, what was it, the guy was wanting to learn, you know, like what's kind of think I was going to be when I grew up, like, you know, what, what were those, what were those big plans that I created? So really weirdly actually, as an aside here, the only thing I ever thought I wanted to do before I applied to university was be an art therapist.

Why very interesting. Yeah. And I forgot all about it until, you know, like a year or two ago. And I thought, oh, that's what I was looking at. Was art therapy. And now I'm tying in complimentary therapies and coaching and art and oh, that's kind of weird. I've kind of done my own version, you know, like, yeah.

It's, it's interesting though. I think if we look back and sometimes that's a spark for, for what makes us really happy. Cause sometimes we've just gotten caught up in being an adult and we've stopped paying attention to what feels really good over some worried about, you know, convention and doing what we're supposed to do and money and finances and how are we going to pay the bills?

You know, can't just dash off and do whatever I want. Um, so, so yeah, I think thinking about those things that you wanted to learn or that you wanted to do, or that you wanted to be in addition to what you used to love to do, that's pretty exciting, you know, I mean, there's some people who we used to have, like you remember big wheels.

Yeah. You're you were basically sitting on the ground. They were so low. Right. I used to love the big wheel and when I got too big to ride one, I was devastated. Like bikes never were never quite as good. I mean, I used to ride on time, but if you have that love and you want to reclaim it, like, why not compete yourself a bike, go get yourself a big wheel and do it, you know, like, why not?

I think just give it a go. Yeah, it's true. I mean, we've gotten so serious about the things. Um, there's a book I'm reading right now called the rushing woman's syndrome, where we wake up and immediately we have a list of things to do. And for some reason we feel like we need to do it quickly.

And so it's ongoing with the to-do list and all the people that we need to be supportive of and help, and, and there's no leisure time or creativity or fun. And, uh, I recently started working with a business coach. It's been a little bit of time now, time flies, but we sat down and we integrated work with personal goals and it sort of makes sense because if you don't plan, it doesn't happen.

And so the little things like on the weekend, let's play board games or let's, , look at the events calendar and see what's happening locally, but it doesn't have to take a lot of time, like you said. I mean, um, I think. Yarn work again. And I love that. I used to be really creative. I like looking at textures and I like looking at,  how different colors work together and that kind of thing, or mixed medium, we put laser buttons or whatever on there.

Um, cause so when I was a kid, like you were saying, I used to take a Barbie doll and my best friend at the time and I would get into, her mom's a fabric bag and we take all this stuff and just snip it up and start sewing and making all kinds of things. And it was just  matching color and playing around with something and not being self-conscious at all, as it came out crappy or fell apart or ripped or whatever it was because we were just having fun, the process.

And so, yeah, I totally agree with you people, if it's, there's a lot less joy in life right now, I think people are so serious and along with Phoebe waving her arms down, sometimes that's kind of how you feel and to squash that inside and just kind of conform. It's very constricting. It's like the concept of people in captivity.

I mean, we're domesticated. And so we're not like our natural selves anymore. Right. It's, isn't that difficult. Just not to be who you are and express whatever you want to exist. I mean, obviously there's limits, there's like a difference between  expressing yourself and being happy and being off the chain.

But, I think we've become very, , rules driven and very focused on doing versus just being. Yeah. And I think we've seen, particularly in, what's been going on in the last few years globally. You kind of have to find your own version of things to get you through it. Right. You kind of, you have to find your own group of people who.

You get along with or agree with, right? You might be spending a lot of time with just those few bodies. You've got to choose the ones that match you. And, and you've got to, we had to like revisit. I mean, it's different everywhere, isn't it? So where I am, you know, our, our lockdown was pretty intense. And, um, there was a point in time where they here, they, I, I live right by the sea front.

They blocked off all the parking cause  like the beaches were closed, but you actually couldn't drive to go sit in your own car and look at it. Either the car, all the parking  was totally blocked off.  So you had to find ways to entertain yourself in your own little four walls.

Right. But the upside of that. Like the board games come back out. Right. You get to revisit all these things. And you're like, what was the last time we played a game cards? Do I know anyone who knows how to play a game with cards? Like, I don't know what a Jase you have dice, you know, like all these things , you kind of set aside,  came back because you,  on one hand, we kind of thought, oh, we're forced to do these things.

And we can't do our normal life. And on the other hand, we were given this great opportunity to do these fun things and not have to do regular life. Right?  Like you can look at it either way. I mean, a lot of it sucks, but some things were really. I'm very good about gamma again, you know, like perfect.

You're right though.  You can see a lot of situations in two different ways. And so it's nice  look for the joy or look for the shiny side of it. And,  yeah, we, we've done more coloring and more puzzles and more trivia and things like that. And we've done more things as a family because we're all on our, unfortunately we're on our tech a lot or out and about doing our own things.

And so, and it wasn't intentional. It wasn't like some of it didn't happen by mistake. It was just sort of like, well, how do we maximize the situation? Because it is really a challenge, like who would have thought in a lifetime, you would be blocked from being near the ocean. I mean, it just seems like such a basic thing and all of a sudden it's happening.

So to have other things that you can do to create joy. Feel good is no important. So what, I'm sorry, I just want to say I like, I don't, I don't want to make light of it and say that it's easy to do that, but at the same time, they can be the little easy steps. Like individual things can be easy.

Right. But I, yeah, I don't want to discount how incredibly traumatic, I think the situation has been for everyone, whether any of us recognizes it or not. Like some people don't think about it that way, but I think we will see the fall out for a long, long time. Um, so yeah, so I don't, I just want to decide, like, I don't, I don't want to make light of it and say that and seeing what's helped to, right.

I don't want to say, oh, do these frickin easy steps and wears some red lipstick and life will be great. And you'll be so healthy because it's not always that straightforward. It's not that easy, but she's, she makes a really big difference to your mindset. And then I think that is what you build on. Yeah.

Well,  it's, like you were saying,  in that really difficult time in your life, it was the thing that helped you get through it. Wasn't like, everything's great now because you know, whatever the thing was that you were doing to find joy, but it was the thing that was able to help propel you forward. And when you were focusing on something like finding joy and being happier, you just start, it starts like it shifts your mindset, like you said, so you wake up instead of thinking, oh, what else is going to go wrong?

Now it slowly shifts into  what am I grateful for today? Or,  oh yeah, that's right. That there's that project that I have that painting and we do, or what am I going to do today? , can't wait to see how it changes today. So yeah, definitely. I think that's the power of it. The little by little and, , making it a part of how you do things so that you can have those sparks of joy carry you through.

Difficult times, especially. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So, when you were talking about health and wellness, how can seeking out joy and cultivating it help you enhance your health and wellbeing? Um, well I think we just touched on the mindset aspect. I think huge part of getting well or better is believing that it's an option, you know,  so many of us are told definitively maybe by someone we trust like a doctor, this is what you have.

Like, this is how you will handle it. We'll take medication for the rest of your life, like, with my thyroid condition, and, maybe I will, you know, and maybe I won't like, but  I think that being open to possibilities. Makes a really big difference. And having that belief that you are not only allowed to feel joy and to go looking for it, but that it's also possible.

And that it's there,  for you, everybody deserves it and gets it and finds it. And there's a different version for all of us.  I think that does so much  to make us believe in other things like I'm going to get healthier.  I'm going to be able to,  tackle whatever that thing is that I feel  is really big and daunting and difficult.

 I think that joy is a, it's a word that we've all heard. It's some, it's a concept we all understand, you know, we all know. We just, we want to feel good don't we? Right? I mean, I'm sure there's some people who don't, but we moved for the most part. Like we, we do want to feel good. And so if we believe that that's an option, I think that starts small.

I think that seed gets planted in our, in our heads, with little pieces and then it just grows and grows and grows and it then ends up being our own little health movement, you know, like suddenly it's become this wave that we're riding and we just feel better and better and better about things.

So it sounds like what you're saying is that, um, it's something that is. Easy. It can be five minutes and super accessible and that,, in really challenging moments, it's the seeing that can help shift your mindset and begin to seed in your day and in your life., more possibility and more happiness pretty quickly.

And then over time, it's the thing that shifts you more into knowing that, there are possibilities because I guess when you start choosing joy, you start being creative and thinking outside the box. And so it's like a gateway to better life overall, in addition to that good health, is that, is that what you're saying?

That was very succinct. 

 The other thing you were saying, as people didn't know, it was a possibility to  choose joy and to, think about  what will make me happy today. And so you have the power to know and decide what's going to make you have a better day than if you didn't take a, B or C action.

And so it's just a matter of being intentional about it and knowing that there's going to be something that's happening your day, that's going to be really good. 

Yeah. And it could be so little, right. It could be. So I just think they, everything has, I think potential is such a big word. Like I think that's such an important thing to remember.

Like how much potential we have, how much potential, like things that we do have to be something bigger and to make us feel better. Yeah. I just, I think there's a lot of power in that. You know that, It's about self-care, that's what I think that it all comes down to as well that you're, you're building this habit of joy and this concept of taking care of yourself for just a second.

Right. We're talking about little things. And then as a result, you suddenly have this habit of taking those five minutes to take care of yourself, right? Like it's. Yeah. And it could be, it could be a painting. It could be that you've locked the bathroom door and the rest of your family. Can't get in there and you've taken five minutes just to sit in.

Right. Like, it could be anything, but it's doing something for yourself knowing that you're, that you can,  and that it's okay. And feeling good about it and not making it something big in Houston, daunting. You know how sometimes people go, right? I'm gonna get healthy. I'm going to go run a marathon like that.

That's a big goal and that's a big task and it takes a lot of effort and time and energy to accomplish it. Doesn't have to be that big in the first steps. Like maybe that is where you'll end up and that's great if that's what you decide you want to do. And that makes you feel good. But maybe it also just means that first thing in the morning, when you get up, you're going to stand in front of a window, look out at the sun and like just stretch a little.

Okay. Maybe that's your marathon. That's great. If you feel good doing. It's a few minutes just for yourself. And if it gets you started on the right foot and makes you feel like, okay, you know, I did that. That's good.  I think that's all that matters. 

Yeah.  It's like building that trust and consistency in yourself, knowing that you have your own back just doing little things.

And like you said, it's the little things that,  that make a big difference because only, you know,  it's so specific to what makes you happy. 

And it can be something big too, right? Like I don't want to tell someone, oh gosh, don't bother with that marathon. That's what you want. Go for it by all means, you know, that's cool.

That's amazing. It's great. But I think, yeah, I think that the message, , that is most important to me is that.

Focusing on joy, focusing on something that feels quite easy and approachable and simple and accessible. And, and that gives you some calm and some grace and you know, that you are focusing on taking care of yourself, but also allowing your safe self, some space to figure that out, you know, we'll see.

Does that, is that good, man? Maybe not. I won't do that tomorrow. I'll do something different. That's okay. Right. Like that's fine. Um, and I think that, I think that's the most important message, I suppose, for me, in terms of how to approach health and  how to feel really good. I think, you know, we can, we can talk about all, we can put it in really complicated language, right?

Like we can, we can talk about how breaking down your goals in a bite-size chunks and, and things like that, but make it easy, you know, make it, make it as simple as. And make it feel good. Don't take things that you'd hate. Don't run the marathon. If you hate to jog, that's not, you know, like I told you yourself.

And can you give examples of some of the things that you do in addition to painting that brings you joy and how it's changed your life or how you feel about your health and everything? 

Yeah. For myself or things. I encourage other people to do the same. Yeah. They're kind of the same 

either whatever feels right.

Okay. So my, um, my steps for myself in terms of building my confidence right. And, and taking care of myself are, are things like I've referenced wearing red lipstick. Yeah, what's the nurse can't see you, but that is something I do very regularly. I might be wearing my pajamas and not have combed my hair, but I will put on what's sick.

I believe very strongly in wearing a Tiara when vacuuming, because I hate tobacco. So I'm going to have to do it. I'm the pretend the princess. And I'm going to wear Tamara to the point that people have given me TRS. Cause they're like, um, I noticed you, you happen to have a few and it's a bit weird for a grown woman.

Like, sorry, I always need another one. Thank you. Um, so that is something that I do for myself and that is just for me, for my entertainment. Right. Um, I do have the habit of getting at every morning. And making my bed. Right. Because then I love that idea that you've accomplished something right from the start, always make my bed and I open the window shade that's by my bed.

And it's so bright. Cause I've got blackout blinds. I'm always like, oh, I can't, I can't see anything, but I stand there and let the sun come in and like, let my eyes adjust. And I do a little, you know, stretch or whatever. And I think, all right, okay, ready to get going. I've made my bed, looked outside to check the weather, you know?

And um, and, and so those little things kind of get me started for the day, but I have lots of like potentially ridiculous tricks, for example, , you might have to drink water, but why not do it out of a champagne box or things more elegant in a champagne glass? Why not? I have. I bought a coffee mag that just says perfect day on it.

Why not? I did not start my day with someone else telling me that it's my perfect day, you know, and I little things like that make a really big difference for me. but in the bigger picture, like in terms of health, I'm sure I'm a little bit strict with myself about my sleep routine. You know, I like, I've got my blue blocker glasses, but I might put on very soon.

And  I have cap lines and I make sure that I go to bed early because I'd rather be up early in the morning. And I, you know, I'm not, not very functional and evening. And, um, so, so I, I set up a routine that feels really good for me. And I try and stick with that, you know, in terms of nutrition, I'm not as strict as I was.

Being Winfrey, it's still incredibly important to me. Um, my nutrition is very important to me and how I feel about my body and in my own skin is really important to me, but it's also really important to me that I share meals with other people because that sense of community I think is really valuable.

And so I do now let that slide sometimes because I want to enjoy the people that I'm with. And I want to sit down to a meal with them without, , as much restriction on myself because it was my own mindset. That was the restriction,  not the diet, but I think, making changes like that and giving yourself that kind of leeway and deciding which pieces are important, right? Like I've just said, being with people and sharing a meal, that's the most important thing to me right now, you know, like I still wanna eat as well as I can, but I, I want, um, I want to do it in a way that I get to enjoy with other people.

Um, and all of those things I think really do build towards health and towards wellbeing. And, um, you know, I think if you're, if you've got health issues and your practice you're says to you, tell me, tell me how you eat, tell me what your meal is. And they're like, well, this is what I'm eating, and this is what I'm struggling with.

So that the next question in my head is like, okay, let's set that aside. Who are you eating? And do you enjoy it? Where do you eat? Do you sit at a table? Like, is it comfortable? Is that where you'd like to sit and eat? You know, do you have candles on the table? Do you have plants in your house? Like, whatever it is, like what makes that meal special?

Because you've just told me what I need to know about your, like what you're consuming, but there's more to it than just that I think. 

Oh yes. Not a lot of people talk about that. So I love it.  Because right, if you're stressed out, if you're not going to be able to process and digest the food anyways, no matter how healthy it is.

And if you're rushing,  like in the middle of something and you're, you're eating on the fly then  you're not going to process and digest the food very well anyways. And so there are so many other aspects involved for sure. And I don't really hear a lot of people talking about that only the, the what, but not the how and the why and the, with.

But that brings it back to joy. Doesn't it for me? Because like I said, I'll tell you a story. Um, I used to, I used to have a group of, uh, work colleagues and, you know, we would chat about our weird eating habits, weirding in quotation marks, um, gluten free, dairy free, whatever it was. Right. We would talk about all this stuff.

And this is what I was really like, starting to get into all of the very strict nutritional guidelines and, and not, and being quite rigid about it. And so he started out, I started up a group with the six of my friends and I used to call us the freak food cold. And, um, but we would get together once a month, we would make all of our, like, gluten-free dairy-free whatever.

Whenever each of us could eat. We would make a recipe with that and we'd bring it potluck to somebody's house. And we all sit around and eat. And you have, the rule was you had to bring the recipes so that everyone else could figure out if they were allowed to eat what you've made, but it was a fun way to tackle something that we were all kind of trying to navigate and figure out and understand.

And then, you know, and at that point I wasn't, it was hard to eat in a restaurant for me, where I was with my mindset at the time. So to be in a group of friends where it's safe, it's fun, we're all having a laugh. We're all doing different versions of the same stuff and like joking about it, whatever leaf, you know, it was, it was such a great thing to be able to just be like, all right, Like, and all of us made dessert this time, apparently where our lunch is all sugar, not it wasn't sugar, you know, it'd be like sugar-free, but whatever, but we don't be eating like, you know, some coconut version of a key lime pie or something with no nuts, but it was fun.

So I think, I think there's a lot to be said to who you eat with and how you eat and, and I'm finding a pleasurable way to, to do the things that you want to do to help you reach your goals. 

Yeah. It sounds like you like to infuse fun into whatever you do and find ways. If it's something that's probably not like optimal, trying to find a way to make it fun.

And what you said about community, I'm such a big fan of  basically creating your, your chosen family, the people that you want to spend time with. 'cause, um, you can't always be in a really wonderful emotional Headspace, but if you have people who tend to be that way as well, then there's always people who help each other and lift each other up or in the same mindset.

So I love that. 

I think it's so important, isn't it? Absolutely. Yeah. 

And especially in light of recent events, even more so kind of knowing how important it is to be around people and really appreciating it more than I think we've ever had before. So I love that love that suggestion, finding the things that you are working through, or even just things that you find joy in and finding other people to play along with you.

And you mentioned gratitude as well. And we, we haven't actually said very much about it, but, but being acknowledging and recognizing that you've actually set time aside for something that you find pleasurable and. Being grateful for that opportunity or for that as people who are like-minded or, you know, for that champagne glass that you get to drink your water out of, like, you know, just kind of saying like, thanks, thanks for that universe.

That's good. I'll do that again. Like I think that's, that's quite important as well. Right then it's, it's acknowledging that we noticed, you know, I mean, even if we've made the decision to do whatever it is we're doing, because it makes us happy, acknowledging it, sharing that, that that's how we're approaching things.

Um, it's, it's panty and a lot of people, recommend, writing down things that you're grateful for every day. Right. And, and I think that that practice. Is really useful. And,  I also think like the way that I look at it is what a great reminder to kind of flip back and be like, oh yeah, actually that made me happy that day.

Like, that's something I could do again, like sometimes it's just a little reminder when you get up in the morning, you think, Nope, don't want to do today. This is not going to work, but you know, flip that for your list of things that made you grateful last month. And maybe there's something that they like, oh, actually I could do that again.

Okay. Maybe it won't be so bad

 oh yeah.  Finding the things that has made you happy and in a moment when your mind isn't in that space and look for evidence that it can happen again and then make it happen.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Why not? I like the idea that we can, we can make those things happen and that we can, we can choose to focus on things that, that might seem insignificant at the time, but build something to occur.

And like you were saying, everybody wants to be happy. And so it's something that you can actually do. And it's, it's just your unique way, whatever. 

Yeah. Yeah. And, and, you know, maybe it does take some time to sit down and think like, what is, what's my way, like, what's going to, what is going to make me happy?

You know, that's where we started the conversation. Isn't it? Like, how do you, how do you find those things? Um, but I, I think giving yourself space to think about what those things might be and giving it a try, and then if it's not that trying something else, like great, good do it. 

Yeah. And like you said, it's  noticing like,  I really like looking at clouds, you know, it makes me happy to look up and then I have this game.

I take a snapshot and send it to my family. What do you see? You know,  there's actually a group , all they do is they look at clouds and they take pictures and they share it.  When you start noticing the things that make you happy, when you make a point to do that, you start collecting things are a lot of different things that make you happy.

You begin to be aware. So if it feels daunting to make a list, then go through the day. And, and it's interesting, right? Because then you train your brain to start seeking it out, instead of  not being aware or letting things that are really beautiful, amazing, or exciting, kind of just drift by without your attention.

And, um, I find that that's just really helpful to, just to my normal, what's going to make me joyful today and look for it. 

Okay. I think also it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be something expensive. You know, like it doesn't have to be, I went and paid for a massage. That's going to make me feel better.

Cause I'm taking care of myself. It can be laying on the grass, looking at the clouds. Right. It can be stopping to notice something or just,  sitting on the beach and picking up my shell.  It can be something that's right there on your doorstep that you do all the time, but don't stop and notice, like you said, like to stop and notice it, all of a sudden you might realize, oh, actually that's so much more valuable to me than what I thought.

Like I just automatically do it, but actually it's really, that's really good. I like that. And, and taking notice of it, I think. Yeah. It's really important. 

Yeah. Well, I really enjoyed having this chat with you because I don't think people talk about it very much, but  I hope that people are beginning to think about how do I.

Have more, an infusion of joy in my life. And what makes me happy? What, what is historically made me feel like this is amazing or exhilarated or hopeful or beauty or whatever it is and cultivate that. 

Absolutely. Yeah. And then it can lead to really big returns. Health-wise you know, that it can be so much more than what you might initially give it credit for.

Right? Yeah. Imagine walking in and saying, Stacey, I'd like you to be my coach and you say, go do something that makes you joyful. That's done. 

Yeah. That's the beginning of it. Isn't it? That's where it all starts. I think we can talk about lab tests and diets and, we can go through all that stuff.

Absolutely. But that's definitely not, that's not the first step for me and that's not the first step that I want to share with people. So yeah, I think, I think there's, there's so much stuff that we can do for ourselves that make us feel really good and, and that joy and ease and grace, like, I think those are the things to really focus on to build strong health and feel just amazing.

Yeah. Amazing. Yes. So Stacy, how can people find you if they want to learn more about what you do? We already shared?  Definitely get on her Instagram posts, look at her artwork and some of the other things she's sharing there.  How else can people find you? 

So my website is www grit, wellness.com and,  then Instagram and Facebook.

Is that group wellness as well? ,  and so that's the best way to reach me is to go on my website or through Facebook and Instagram. 

Oh, perfect. Thanks again for this doc. I really had fun. 

Oh, thank you. This has been awesome. It's been so good. I love how aligns our approaches. Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Maybe we can chat again about some of the other things that we like to do and how we help people. 

Yeah, yeah. And color and texture. Those things that started talking about being happy with me with bright colors. That's it? That's it? No, I, I really appreciate this. I think it is. It's so important. And um, and I think what you're doing, sharing that message, that there are lots of, um, ways that we can all kind of reduce our anxiety and distress.

And that there are different approaches to it. I think it's so important. So you'll love it. It's great. Keep doing it. 

So thank you and you to keep doing what you're doing. 

Thanks.