I don't remember where I read this, but I had heard it said one time that going through life without meditation and mindfulness is like going through life with a camera that's not focused- and wow, that's just so crazy when when you think about it, and so accurate. For those of you who haven't incorporated meditation into your. Routine, this episode's for you and for those of you who have meditated before and found some challenges, um, there's, it's so common.
And I think that's the thing that makes people fall off track because, um, you know, the common, there are a lot of common, um, Blocking factors should be able to maintain a meditation practice and meditation. And I have had a rocky relationship in the past. I would go on and off again on again, and I would feel like I wasn't doing it right.
And my biggest thing is, um, my brain is always churning. Hello, have we met? I've got a monkey mind. And so as I'm sitting in meditation, I would suddenly think of all the things on my do-do list and get aggravated and then have to get up and go get started. Kraken on my list, feeling like I just don't have a lot of time.
Uh, maybe I'll get back to it later. And of course that never happened. But then I've been through a lot of ups and downs. If you know my story, I've gone through a lot of stressors and. I'm running a stress and craving sticks program. A lot of it has to do with focusing on managing stress levels and for sure, meditation is one of the top things that has been really helpful to me and to my clients in getting back to not only a better state of health, but also being happier in life and being present and not missing.
All the little special moments of day-to-day life. And again, it's that wonderful analogy of going through life with your lens unfocused. You're missing things, you're going through things on autopilot, or you're running around trying to put out fires and it's just, it's life is so much more simple, calm, and joyful.
When you're able to get a meditation practice into your life, um, I have a friend who just went through a series of really, really challenging life events and she's done a lot of things to help herself with her health and wellbeing, but she's mentioned that meditation is the number one thing that's really helped her improve our outlook on life and her ability to experience joy.
So that's why I'm super excited to introduce you to my guest today. Her name is Deanna Wheeler and she is a mindfulness guru and a meditation practitioner and coach. And, um, I really love this interview because I love meditation and there's just so many different kinds of meditation and different aspects.
But the first step is to be able to sit down and begin your practice. Deanna makes it really easy. So in this interview, she addresses some of the biggest blocking factors to beginning to meditate, and she gives you some great tips that you might not have thought of, uh, to be able to overcome some of those blocking factors.
She also shares her story and why she's so passionate about meditation. So without further ado, let's dive into my conversation with Deanna. Hi Deanna. So excited to have you on our podcast. I was wondering if you could share a little bit about yourself and what you do. Absolutely. Thank you for having me.
Um, I love sharing meditation and mindfulness. That is my, My little corner of the world, that's where I spend all of my time, um, as I am a meditation teacher and kind of dubbed a mindfulness coach. So meditation opens the awareness in our lives to be more mindful. And when we do that, we can just really have a huge impact on so many areas.
So that's kind of become an intertwined thing in my work. Um, I started meditation. Years ago, like most of you probably, where it was like on again, off again, on again, off again, not really knowing if it was actually working until I got to a point where it felt very consistent and very good, and I noticed when I missed doing it, my mood would change.
My energy would change. Um, and so that experience myself is what kind of led me into sharing this with others and helping other people. Um, kind of that freedom and that harmony in life to just feel better. We have so much weighing on us day in and day out. Um, it just became a big, big thing that I was like, people need this.
And so that's why I started, started teaching. And now my mission is to help stressed out, overwhelmed women to kind of get off the sidelines of life and stop waiting for when. And live with joy and happiness. So that's a little, little bit about what I, what I do and how this work, um, began in my life. But I absolutely love being here and, and talking with you.
Yeah. Thank you. I'm excited to be able to talk to you about this too, because I know that a lot of us know that meditation is something that so many well successful people, people, um, do. It's a good idea, but then there's so many barriers. Like you said you were doing it on again off again. What was the tipping point that really got you like, Hey, this is something I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna be consistent about it. What was the thing that really got you on board? Um, I think I had been trying. Various things in my life to work through some challenging situations, challenging feelings and emotions, and that had just really taken their toll on me. I had, um, a lot of long-term stress that had really built up.
I hadn't been addressing it. You know, we like to brush things under the rug and just kind of shove it aside and bottle it up. That doesn't do anyone any good. Nope. In fact, it, it can actually be quite detrimental in the long run to, to not deal with these things. And so I had gotten to that point where I was trying a number of different, like something's gotta work right.
Um, so what are some of the things that you tried? Um, I mean just like the meditation, trying yoga, making sure I was moving my body more. Just things that would kind of help change my energy. Right. Um, because I was so bogged down and so I was having different issues with chronic pain and being tired and just having fatigue all the time because my body was literally stressed to the.
And I know that a lot of people can relate to that. Um, if they stop and think like, oh, there is no real reason for this happening except I've been dealing with a lot of stuff, right? And it all goes somewhere. So when we're stressed, like it's going somewhere, either we're working through it in a healthy way or it's going into our bodies and it's starting to harbor its way into our muscles and our joints and causing these, these physical ail.
Making it so we can't sleep at night. You know, all of those things. And so that was, that was kind of the point where I was like, we're gonna try some things. We need to, we need to do something or this is gonna be not, not good long term. And meditation was kind of the thing that stuck. Like I, um, really found quieting all the chatter and noise in my mind and all.
Um, like stuff that we repeat to ourselves, the negative, um, mindset, all of that stuff. When I could just sort of flip that off, I found clarity in how I could move forward. I found, um, just kind of this piece with being able to just sit and be and not have judgment or criticism. Of what was happening and knowing that I was taking that step to, to take care of myself.
Um, and like I said, when, when I realized how I felt not doing it, that's where things ch, that's where it was like the kind of the aha, right? Mm-hmm. Um, we noticed if we're working on like nutrition when we're eating well, We feel good. And if we aren't eating well, maybe we're rushed and we pick up something that's not the most nutritious, um, food.
You notice how that makes you feel. Um, when you're not sleeping good, you not if you pay attention and notice how that makes you feel. You want more of that thing that makes you feel good. And that was for me and why it really just was a thing that stuck. I just kept pushing through and doing. Until it was, it was that, that kind of go-to when I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
Now I do meditation all day long. I love that. Yeah. It's one of the things that you talk about, I don't really hear a lot. It's like you dose it in throughout your day. It's not like, okay, I did it for five minutes in the morning and da da life has changed. Now it's like dosing it in and shifting from that monkey mind and the mind chatter to that peace and quiet and it's uh, I love what you were saying about how you notice.
And then you want more of it. But when you are in that state of fight, flight, and stress, and you are reacting the entire time, you don't notice anything. You just, you just deal. And you're on reaction mode. And, and so it's sort of like that stress and craving today. Um, I work with, if you're stressed out, then you're gonna.
Try and fix it, but you're not gonna even notice that any benefits are happening cuz you're onto the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. And so it sounds like you know, you needed something, your body is screaming like, Hey, I need a break. Um, but you weren't even able to hear that until you just sat down and you meditated, quiet, did a chatter, and all of a sudden you were able to respond.
But also you were able to notice now what your body was saying and what you needed. Is that, is that what you were. Yeah, I mean that's definitely a good perspective on it. I think, um, most of us feel overwhelmed. We like, we feel overwhelmed, we feel stressed out, but we don't really connect to what that's doing to us or how our body or our mind are, like you said, reacting.
Um, because when we are stressed, as you mentioned, it's so hard to make thoughtful. Rational decisions. Becau, and, and there's a whole scientific reason behind that, um, which I'm sure you've, you've learned and talked about before too, but it's to keep us safe. It's that re response that we are under stress and we have got to take action.
And that's what the mind is telling the body to do. Um, it's just that we're under so much stress all the time. Like it becomes a problem then we don't have. One time situations where we're stressed, we fight that stressor and then we come back to this place of homeostasis or harmony and, and this peace and calm.
We're in that stress mode all the time. And when that happens, um, that's when the kind of the spiral of all these other kind of negative. Things in our life just build up. So managing it and navigating it, um, with that awareness, that's the biggest piece is like, I know I'm stressed, but how is it really impacting me?
And when you build that connection and you have that awareness that that meeting or that situation was really stressful, and now I need to go take a. To take some deep breaths, to maybe get some fresh air to step away and clear my mind because then I can come back and be more thoughtful and intentional versus spending the whole day in that level of stress.
Right. And I know a lot of people can relate to this, that something happens in the morning and you're still thinking about it when you sit down to. Like you're carrying that with you all day long. So to be able to release that stuff and to let that go, um, is really freeing and very beneficial to the body and the mind.
Yeah, absolutely. And like you said, we are. Wouldn't you agree? We're in more stress in this modern day life than we've ever been. And like you said, our bodies were designed to maybe be in a state where something's trying to chase us down and eat us. And either your dinner or you know, you've, you survived, and then life goes on.
Go like, find something to do. Be with your fam, whatever it is. But now we're getting. Thousands of bits of information as much as you want. I, I hear that we get like in an hour. It's the same amount of information you might have gotten over months or a year back in the day, back in, you know, our, um, Maybe normal habitat, but now we're in the modern day world.
We're assaulted by like night and day. We can manipulate it. We get information. And like you said, a lot of the stress are emotional and your body doesn't respond differently from being chased by a hungry tiger and your boss just yelled at you or you went to this thing late and screwed everything or something got messed up.
And so your body's in that state of fight flight and every system shuts down and your brain starts. Reacting because it's now in a more of an animalistic state. It's not in the sinking brain. So you're not really being conscious and thoughtful in the way you're living your life. You're living kind of on, in an animal base mode, which is flight.
Flight or fun or freeze or whatever. And so, like you're saying, most of us are probably living their days, um, in a place of not optimizing their ability to think and, um, do something in a, um, methodical or. Helpful manner. You're just kind of trying to get by or get through, which is, um, yeah, it's not a way to live.
I think the, when we are in that state of stress, when our brain has sent out, you know, the hormones and the chemicals to start like doing all the things to protect us, um, we are very much in a state of reaction. So we're, we're taking what is in front of us and we're reacting to it in whatever way our.
Feels is going to protect us. And um, a lot of times that's when, you know, people start yelling at each other and slamming doors and it's because you have that kind of, that defense and it's a reactive sort of thing, versus being in a mindful space, managing that stress response and saying, okay, we're safe.
Like we don't need to lose control. We don't need to fly off the handle. Whatever verbiage you wanna. We don't need to go there. We can handle this rationally and thoughtfully. And when we are doing that in ful place, it's a response. It's a thoughtful choice of how we are handling and navigating that situation.
And when you can find the difference between those two and identify that, it's amazing because, okay, I'm not gonna say that I'm perfect and I don't. And then I have like the magic toolbox to never, um, have a short fuse. But I notice when it's starting to happen and I can start to deescalate versus getting to that.
Um, End of that fuse and then just blowing up. Right? And I'm sure so many people can relate to that, that feeling. But now how does it feel when I can navigate and manage it and I can get to the end of this situation and know that I did it in a respectful, thoughtful way for myself and others involved, it's, it's life changing.
Yeah. And it sounds like it doesn't change your life only, but everybody else you come in contact with as you go about your day, your life, and everything that you care about, the people you care about, and the people that you work with, because, um, you're, you're not reacting And, um, I love what you said about, you can catch it.
Um, it's gonna happen. We have human brains that are gonna look for trouble, and when it's feeling threatened, it's gonna look for even more trouble. So then you get into that spiral or cycle of everything's bad. You know how you stub your toe in the morning, all of a sudden it, oh, it's a hobbled day, and you drop something and all of a sudden, you know, you've stained your shirt cuz it, you know, something's splattered all over the floor.
So then you can catch yourself instead of. Next conversation you have, enter the, you know, the space of somebody else and cause this domino effect and think, okay, let's just slow down. Maybe I should just meditate, get grounded. After having meditated, your space is more clear. So you can see things as they are not the thing you're projecting and then say, oh, well I guess this just sort of happened.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna wipe this clean and go about my day. It's just, um, not nobody, nobody's hurt. And then you're able to respond better and it doesn't impact the next person in traffic or whatever. So, mm-hmm. Um, definitely would rather show up that way than to show up. Kind of inflict all that negativity on other people.
Okay, so now we convince people that this is something that they really want to look into. There are so many people who say, I've tried, I can't meditate. I keep interrupt my thoughts. Keep medi. I mean, interrupting or sitting still is like so horrible. Or these negative thoughts come up. It's actually very aggravating to sit still.
I know you've heard, and, and first of all are, what are some of the things that you've heard people come up with as barriers, and then how do you address. The, so the first thing is I can't stop thinking. That's kind of the biggest, and I'll go into that. The second thing usually is like, I don't have time.
Um, which, I'll go into that as well. Those, they're probably the two biggest. But like you said, it's, it's, um, hard for a lot of people to sit still because we're always going. Right. Um, and it's hard for us to do something when we don't see an immediate benefit. Um, and so that's where patients and practice the idea of building a meditation practice comes into play.
Um, so the first thing about. I can't stop thinking like that's the biggest thing I hear and my advice, my, um, teaching for that is that we're not supposed to stop thinking. Our brain is meant to do that. That's what its job is. Um, barring medical, uh, situations or some kind of illness. It's like making our nose stop smelling.
We don't smell something that isn't pleasant and go, don't. Right. Like we maybe try to plug our nose or walk away, but we can't actually stop that process. And the brain thinking is the same thing, like it's doing its job. And the idea with meditation is to not focus on those thoughts. We're having them all day long, whether we realize it or not.
Um, some of them, they get us, some of them kind of hold on and they. Get their little fingers and they, you know, push, push our buttons and make us feel, um, judgmental of ourselves or critical of ourselves or, um, you know, having that regret and guilt about things that maybe happened in the past and. So the idea is to just really be and let that go.
Whatever comes up, um, there's no need to hold onto it. There's no need to, um, keep it in, in its, uh, state. And the way I like to describe this is like watching a car drive down the street. So if you're standing on a sidewalk and a car is coming toward you, you can see. But eventually it's going to be gone.
It's going to be out of your sign, uh, site line, and can you find that car again? Right? Like it's gone. And so to let your thoughts similarly do that, like, like I see you, you're there, I acknowledge you, but at some point you have to just release it and let it. Um, one practice that I like to do, especially if people are really struggling with this, is to, um, brain dump or just take out a piece of paper and journal for five minutes before you sit down to meditate.
Get anything out, because then we're less likely to feel like we have to hold on to any of those thoughts that come up during meditation. Like, I have to switch the laundry, or I have to make my child a sandwich. Or I have, you know, um, whatever those things are we. If you sit down to meditate and the thought comes up and you're like, oh, I have to remember to do that.
I have to remember to do that. Well, that's taking away from the practice. So writing things down and just kind of releasing whatever's going on in your mind prior to meditation can be helpful to start with just that clear space. Um, The second point, or the second thing that I hear a lot is I don't have time.
How do you just make time to sit and meditate? And it's similar, you know, people doing movement, going to the gym, um, any new thing, like I don't have time. Who has more time in their day for these things. And, um, I challenge that to some degree and that meditation can actually give you more time because.
Making space and opening up that clarity and feeling more free and actually can make you more productive in the long run because we're not getting bogged down by so much stuff in our mind that chatter the monkey mind, um, as it's called. We can release that and let it go and so five minutes can be. It does not have to be this 30 minute, hour ordeal to make a difference.
Um, you can do five minutes every day and it will be effective. It's kind of, I like to think about it like if you're going to the gym, going once a week for 30 minutes is not going to be as effective as going three or four times for 15. Right. Like having that consistent daily activity is going to have more benefits in the long run than just one time every week or one time every month, but kind of builds and it grows in that way.
Um, and I think everyone can find five minutes to, to give themselves some space, and it's usually less challenging if we sit down and go, I have to do this for 20 minutes, and now it's been three minutes. And I already wanna get up, like, right, right. Five minutes is easy. You can do it. You can dedicate that space and that time, and it's not something that seems really, really hard and challenging.
Um, that's kind of my, kind of my biggest obstacles I hear and, and how I address them. I think it's really something that can grow and provide a lot of value in your life if you're willing to try. Yeah, absolutely. Those are really great tips because, um, I feel. Just give it a try. I mean, these things aren't, you didn't make it difficult.
I mean, basically allow yourself to have those thoughts go through your mind and just kind of release them. Don't make it a thing. And then also, um, I love that brain dump. You mean just get the stuff out of the way? Like do the sweep before you sit down to that space and then, um, You know that thing you said about having no time?
It's so true. When I was meditating or when I started meditating and being mindful, I know that's something else you teach. It was like, um, you, I don't know if you saw the Matrix, but at some point when Neo knew, noticed, he was the one things started moving slowly. I mean, it's sort of like time slowed down because your mind.
Seeing everything and slowing down, and so then you feel like you can make better decisions. And not everything is an emergency. When you're stressed out, everything feels like an emergency cuz you gotta get over with cuz you're in danger. But, When you're, isn't that true? I mean, uh, when you're calm and you're present, things slow down and there's time for things.
Mm-hmm. And the things that aren't important just kind of fall away. It's like weird magic. Yeah. I think that is spot on. There are so many. Things that we have in our lives that really don't serve much of a purpose at all. We're just doing them because we're doing them like we're told to do it this way or we've been taught that this is how you manage or navigate, you know, your household or your job or whatever.
And, um, there's a lot of things that are really just. That are taking up our time and taking up our very precious energy. We don't get more of those things right? You can't create more. Um, and so to be able to have the awareness that some of this fluff, some of this filler is not, It's not helping, it's not something we need to be doing.
And it's not something that's helping our ourselves, our family, our friends, um, our coworkers. You know, it's just, I like to go back to the story of the, um, there was a woman, and I can't credit this cuz I've heard it so many times, but there was a woman that was cutting the ends off of her ham when she would bake like a holiday.
And somebody asked, why do you do that? And she's like, well, I don't know. I have to ask my mom. So she asked her mom, and her mom said, well, why do you, why do you cut the ends off the ham? Well, we have to ask grandma. So then it goes back, you know, three or four generations and the story is, That literally the pan that great-great-great grandma had was too small to put the ham in.
Mm-hmm. And so that's why they were cutting it and it was this thing that just carried on and nobody ever questioned it. And so I like to think of different things in our lives that are just carrying on because that's what we've seen or we've watched or we've learned from others. And we're not saying, do I actually have to cut the ends off this?
Or does my pan fit? We don't question things. And, and um, when we start to do that and have that awareness of like, why am I doing this? What is this, what is the purpose behind this? We can determine if it's something that needs to stay or something that needs to go. And more often than not, it's something that can go.
And then we've freed up time and energy for ourselves. And so when you can kind of pluck all those things out of your. You have a lot of time and you have a lot more energy too. And that's where it's so amazing to be mindful of why am I doing this? What does this serve like? Is there a bigger picture here?
Um, and it's so powerful, just changing your life, being mindful, getting more time in your life and stopping with the automated programming that doesn't serve you. In minutes a day. Right. Just making it a habit. And then as you see the benefits, you might want to invest more because why wouldn't you? So, um, yeah.
So if somebody wanted to find out more about how to work with you and they find, okay, well, you know, I'm, I'm still not con, I'm still not convinced that I can do this on my own. I would love some assistance. What are some options that you have? So I am always willing to talk with anyone, um, one-to-one and kind of see what this could do for your life.
Look at some of the challenging areas you have and figure out maybe some solutions to overcome them using meditation and mindfulness. Um, and so that is something I always have available. You can find, uh, how to reach out to me there on my website, which is Deanna wheeler.life and, uh, or social media, Instagram, Facebook, Deanna Wheeler.
Um, pretty easy to find and recognize me across all the platforms. Um, I do have a couple of programs, a couple of other ways to get involved, like as a group if you're wanting more support, um, in that way and building a community to help you with your mindfulness and meditation practice. Um, certainly happy to talk one-on-one, um, with anybody who's like, I don't know how this can help me, and we can kind of hash through that together and see what is practical in your life and what will serve you so that you can release some of this stress, some of these things that are weighing you down and find the, the freedom and the empowerment that comes with being able to, to show up in a thoughtful and meaningful.
Fantastic. So you have one-on-one, and I'll post the social media in different ways to reach you in the show notes. Mm-hmm. And then you also have group coaching sessions, um, group meditation. And I, one of the things that I think is interesting is often when you think about meditation, um, the extreme. Case, you know, people who really haven't tried it yet, they think you're going on a mountaintop and uh, doing it by yourself.
So this idea of doing group meditation might be something new. And, and so I was wondering if you can share like what the benefits are and what you've been finding and the people who've been doing it with you. Um, so the, the biggest things about group, um, are anytime we're doing something alone, right? It seems more challenging because we're holding ourselves accountable and anytime we're holding ourselves accountable, it's really easy to just not do it.
So that's the first thing. The second thing is building that support and encouragement. So when we're in the meditation session itself or in the group atmosphere, um, and doing the practice, People are having these moments and having these kind of, these revelations or, or thoughts that, um, are very profound in ways that they can move forward.
And when you get to experience someone else going through that, it helps you find those things in your life as well. And so it's just really, um, awesome to connect in that way and build those relationships because, If you decide to do this, if you decide to build a meditation practice, having that support, just like with nutrition, just like with, um, movement in your life, having support to say like, you don't really feel like this today, and someone else saying, but if you do, How are you going to feel after giving you that encouragement?
Um, or being able to say, today was really awful. And like, what can I do to manage this and work through it? And having me along with the rest of the group to give some support in that way, you just feel less alone. Feel like we go through so many experiences a li in life feeling really alone and not like we have help and we don't wanna always ask for help.
So building this space has been amazing. Um, and just sharing it and growing together. Um, pushing our boundaries and feeling a little bit uncomfortable, but not doing it in a way that we're feeling isolated and, um, lonely. Yeah. I love that and I love that you shared, um, the benefits and how the group can support each other.
I feel like you're right. I mean, especially in recent years, people have gotten a little bit hold in and solitary and a lot of the amazing things that happen in the world is done in community. That's kind of our natural habitat too, to be in community and so to have that available and to share the benefits, and also sometimes you just don't feel like doing anything, and so.
It's nice to get pulled out of that and be encouraged. And also just, yeah, when you see the benefits that other people are having and you wanna, you're reminded and then, um, you wanna continue on. So. Mm-hmm. Thank you so much for being on the show. I really enjoyed this talk. It was so much fun. And, um, Yeah, I, I will put your information in show notes and I invite people to, um, look at Deanna's offerings and hopefully, we'll, we've, and convinced people to start meditating and getting all the benefits and it's something that is accessible to everybody.
We were designed to be able to do this. It is, it's something that we completely have control and power over in our lives, which there is not much else that we do. And so we can take that within ourselves and use that to, um, benefit us and everyone around us. And I appreciate you inviting me to the show and having this conversation.
Um, cause I think it is something that's kind of intimidating and awkward feeling to most people. It's like, I don't know how to do this. Um, and it, it can be very simple. It's really, really empowering to do so. I appreciate you having me here and having this space. Well, thank you so much. Well, hopefully you can come back sometime.
I know you have other things that you share in your groups that would be really valuable. Thank you so much. Thank you. All right, so now that you have inspiration and some really great tips on how to get started with meditation, I hope this is your hint to really incorporate this into your daily practice.
And as I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, it really is like going through life, seeing more clearly, and it is so true that time kind of slows down suddenly. You're calm, you're more calm, and there's time for things that are the most important. And all the other noise just falls away. And honestly, the only way to really understand the benefits of meditation is to do it.
And so, um, if you feel like you need. More inspiration or more tips, or if you really just want accountability, then check out Dan's information in the show notes. And you know, we didn't even get to delve into some of the other benefits, like, um, how it. Affects your physiology, your nervous system, how it affects your brain waves, and your overall health.
So give a try. Can't wait to hear how it goes for you, and until then, lighten up ladies.