When Motivation Fades: What To Do When You Don't Want To Do Anything

In this episode of FNTN, Erica Rooney dives into the relatable struggle of facing days when motivation seems out of reach. Blending personal stories with actionable advice, this episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to overcome life’s challenging moments.

Key Highlights:

• Personal Challenges: Erica shares her own experiences with work stress, family dynamics, and communication hurdles.
• Understanding Low Motivation: A discussion on why these 'off' days are a normal part of the human experience.
• Practical Strategies: Tips on dissecting problems, addressing symptoms, and taking small yet significant steps to improve your day.
• Mental Health Focus: The importance of recognizing depression and seeking appropriate help.
• Inspiring Conclusion: Each day is a new chance to make a positive change. Erica encourages listeners to embrace this mindset for personal growth.

Tune in for an episode that’s not about toxic positivity, but real, empowering strategies to navigate life’s lows.

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Transcript

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1:11

Yeah, I'm not going to lie. Last week was a really tough week. I don't know what is going on or what's in the water, but work had been horrific. The kids had been acting up. My communication with my husband, all a dumpster fire. And. I found myself resenting, honestly. Everything. I was really resenting everything. Every email, every whiny kid, every tone. You know that Dan was responding to me with and you know what I mean, that to hone. And your partner gives you when they're also annoyed with you because let's face it. You're probably being a little bitchy. But I just found myself getting over the top mad. Now, I don't know about you, but when I get into these moods, I just want to go away. I want to be all by myself with a bubble bath and a book. I want to eat what I want. I want to do what I want, and I want to not have to care about anyone else around me. I don't want anyone to talk to me. I don't want anyone to even look at me, just leave me alone. But here's the thing. I'm an HR executive. I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I got not just responsibilities, but I got goals. So today's episode, I'm hoping it will be a guide for anyone listening. If you're in those moments and you're in those days where I was last week, where it was like, I just don't want to do anything type of days. I want to pull the covers over my head and pretend like the world and my problems and the dumpster fires just don't exist. Now it's probably not going to be what you think it's going to be. I'm not going to start by being all positive Polly on you and spew out some toxic positivity BS. But I am going to share with you the steps that you must take to help you get through all the BS to help you get through all the tough times. Because those tough times will come for you. And this is what you're going to want to do to make sure that you don't get sucked so far down that you can't be the mom, the partner, or the friend, the sister, the daughter, the woman, the leader. That you want to be. You are listening to the podcast from now to next the podcast and empowers women to get seen, get heard, and get promoted. I'm your host, Erica Rooney, and I've made it my mission to help you break free from the sticky floors. Those limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to bust through the glass ceiling. I'm obsessed with all things, growth and abundance. And I'm here to talk you through the tried and true secrets to get you to level up your career and your life. We talk about the hard stuff here. Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear and burnout. So pull up a seat. Popping in near bud and let's dive in. Okay. So I've already told you that last week was a total bust. Like from day one, I knew the week was going to be terrible. And when I tell you that it played out that way, it played out that way. I must've cried at least four times. I cry out of frustration. I craft a resentment. I am one of those angry criers, even. And I found myself hitting the snooze button multiple times a morning, which is not how I roll. I am usually that person that is up. Well before my alarm. But I would lie there and I would feel like I just had the weight of a million weighted blankets holding me down. Everything I had to get done this week. It just felt impossible. Now does that sound familiar? I am sure does. I know that you have been right there with me at some point. You know, when everything you love doing feels like a drag. When you turn down the dinners with your friends due to exhaustion, and you just want to curl up in bed. I want you to know that number one, this is not you being lazy. This is you having a human moment. And it is way more common than you think. These really credit, crappy moments, these hard days, these hard weeks, or even months they suck, they really do. And if anyone has ever told you that you just need to get motivated or find, you know, find the motivation, find the bright spot. I know you want to punch him in the face. I know I want to punch him in the face. 'cause these human moments. They're not about motivation. It's about riding the highs and the lows of life. So I'm going to tell you, I have these steps. I'm going to share that you need to take that are going to empower you to move through these human moments. So that you can find your drive again so that you don't lose any momentum that you might already be half. But before we do, I want to just say, if this is true depression, we're talking about a mental health issue. I'm going to need you to make an appointment with your doctor. I don't tell them it's not a big deal. You can come in in the next month. Nope. Nope. Nope. Tell them what you are experiencing and that you need to be seen ASAP. Then I want you to get your phone out. Download one of the many virtual online therapy apps that exist today and get you a therapist. I have said it once. I'll say it again. Everyone needs a good therapist. But if you're like me in this moment where it's not depression, it's just like, all the motivation was sucked right out of you and everyone around you is annoying. You. I got ya. This is exactly what I did. And this is what I'll do the next time. This low, this human moment. Shows up in my life. First, I want you to dissect the problem. What's really going on. Is it work-life is seeping too much into your home life. Is it the over committed on your schedule? And you're just exhausted because you're running from meeting to meeting, to meeting without even stopping to go to the bathroom. What about not getting enough sleep or maybe it's all of those things. That is certainly how my last week fell. Now for me, it was just this perfect storm of everything being off kilter. It was the kids' first week back at school. And I did over commit my time by circling back with everyone who wanted to circle back with me over the holidays. Billy's no more circling back. I've had enough. But when you dissect what is really going on, you need to take stock of your circumstances. You need to ask yourself what is going on right now this week, this day. That is stressing me out and why really look at it. Is it a systemic problem? One that has kind of been building and going on forever. Or is it one that just popped up overnight? I want you to really give yourself the space to think about it. Now, you know that I'm going to say, go get your journal, go get a pen, write it out, but also call somebody that you know, that you love, that you trust and talk about it. It's so easy to want to shove these feelings under the rug and pretend that you aren't feeling this lack of motivation. This. This block. And that is exactly when you need to reach out to someone the most. When you can talk to somebody about how you're feeling, it just becomes this huge relief to your system. So just take a moment. Get it all out there. And this piece leads me to the next chunk. I want to talk about, which might sting a bit, but I want you to ask yourself, what did you do to exacerbate the problem? How did you make the problem worse? Now for me. I didn't go to bed early enough. I over-scheduled my calendar. And I was not walking away from my kid when they were driving me bonkers. So I yelled at them, which was, you know, not the proud mama moment, but I'm just keeping it real for y'all. Now, if you sit there and you say, Erica, I don't have any responsibility. I have no blame in this situation. Like it's my boss, it's my kids. It's my husband. It's my partner. Whatever I'm going to tell you that you probably need to go back. You need to hit up that journal and you need to try again. Because here's why you want it to be your fault. Because if it's your fault, you can do something to fix it. If it's out of your control, you're not going to be able to do anything about it. Okay. I don't know about you, but I want stuff to be within my control so that the next time around I can do something differently. I can fix it. Now, the next step is just dealing with these symptoms and those symptoms. They could be your emotions. Maybe you need to deal with your sadness, your anger, your frustrations. But it could also be dealing with physical symptoms like exhaustion. Like eating crappy foods or drinking too much wine. Now, if you don't deal with your symptoms. What's going to happen is you're going to run yourself into the ground. Trust me on this one, you need to face these symptoms head on. They're not going to get better by themselves. Now notice that I'm not telling you that you need to fix the symptoms, but I do want you to treat your symptoms. Now you're probably saying how the hell do I do that, Erica? I know I get it. But you do that by listening to your body and you do that by listening to your mind. So let's start with feelings. If you were sad and you need some time to grieve because you didn't get the job you wanted, you can sit in your sweats and cry over the dove dark chocolate bites. It's okay. Allow yourself that space to move through your human moment. But now do it with a lens of intention. You're not just wallowing around the house and you don't know why. Saying everything's happening to me. Now you're walking around and you know what? It's okay. You're wallowing still. You're frumpy. You're sad, but you know why? Because you've identified what is really going on. But here's the twist. I want you to give yourself a timeframe to let these feelings just be out there. Give yourself a day, a week, whatever it takes. And say, you know what? I really wanted that job. And I'm really sad about it. And I'm going to take my alone time tonight. I'm going to be sad. I'm going to eat my favorite pasta dish, but tomorrow is a new day. And here's why this works because deep down, you know, a new day brings new beginnings. You know, there is light at the end of the tunnel, you know, that these feelings of anger and sadness and frustration. They're not a way of life. Doing this actually builds your resilience and it builds your trust in yourself because you are showing. Yourself that you can get up and you can put your big girl pants on and you can overcome these things. This is really a good thing. Y'all. Now, if you're dealing with the physical symptoms, you need to address that ASAP. If you aren't fueling your body with nutrient dense foods and it's making you feel like a fat greasy soft start eating, right. If you're experiencing exhaustion. Get some rest set up your bedroom sanctuary and leave your phone in the kitchen and just enjoy the quiet. Leave the laundry, leave the bathrooms, leave the grocery, shopping and shopping until later those things are not urgent and they are not important. And trust me, it can wait. Sometimes you really need to slow down. Before you speed up. Now, I'm going to say that again. Sometimes you really need to slow down. To speed up. Let that sink in. But once you've done that. Once you've addressed the symptoms. I've got one step left for you. Do something. It's that easy and it's that hard, but I want you to do something. Do anything, do anything that makes you smile and is going to take you closer to your goals? Yep. I pulled that goal thing back up in here. You knew I had to do it. I know that you can find that magic combo out there of something that makes you smile and something that's going to move you closer to your goals. For me, I made sure that even though last week, every day that I was mad as hell, I read my Peloton for at least 15 minutes. I didn't push myself too hard, but I got dressed and I got on the bike because that sweat, it released endorphins and it helped me feel accomplished. Even when shit was hitting the fan left and right nonstop. Now that one checks the smile bucket, because let me be real, who doesn't love riding with Cody Rigsby. And if you know, you know, and number two, my ongoing life goal is one of health and wellness So when I got on that bike every day, that bike, that goes nowhere, I was able to laugh. I was able to smile, but I was also able to stay a little bit consistent. Just that small little accomplishment every day helped me move forward. It lifted one of those weighted blankets off of me every time. And it kept my week from being a total wash, a total disaster zone. So the next time that you are stuck in that, I don't want to do anything mode. I want you to remember these steps. Dissect the problem what's really going on. Diagnose your symptoms. Is it exhaustion? Is it sadness? Treat those symptoms. And then do one small, tiny thing. That makes you smile and takes you one step closer to your goals. Now I want to be clear on that last one, too. It really is a small thing. If one of your life goals is to enjoy your family time and be present with your kids, then just play a five minute card game with them. Do something. But that little act it's going to change your outcomes. Infinitely. Now you're not alone in this y'all we all have these days. We all have these weeks. I know this. And knowing that is what helped get me through my really shitty last week. But guess what? We've talked about, the fresh start effect. And that's the effect that humans all experienced when a new week hits a new year hits. It's your birthday. So that's a new year for you. You get the picture, but here's the secret. Here's what I'm going to leave you with today. Each day can be a fresh start. Each moment can be a fresh start. We can all have these any minute we want. So thanks for listening. And I want you to remember each day is a new chance for you to turn it around. Now, if you found value in this episode, share it with someone, you know, that may need a little nudge of encouragement. We all do. 20, 24 kicked off with a bang. But your support truly does make the difference. If you are looking for more inspiration, don't forget to subscribe and follow the show. I dropped two episodes a week. And until next time, my friends, I want you to stop putting a ceiling on what is possible and start breaking through it.