Career Success, Balance, and Breaking Barriers with Abbe Large

In this episode, Abbe Large, Managing Director at Lenox Advisors, Inc. and Forbes Top Financial Security Professional (2022, 2023, 2024), shares her journey from floundering in her 20s to becoming a trailblazer in a male-dominated industry. With over 30 years of experience, Abbe opens up about the grit, resilience, and lessons learned along the way.

We dive into:

• Breaking barriers as a woman in a male-dominated field
• Balancing career growth with motherhood (she’s raised three amazing kids!)
• Overcoming limiting beliefs and head trash
• The power of embracing discomfort and finding your 'why'

Whether you’re navigating your own career path, striving for balance, or looking for inspiration, this conversation is packed with insights to help you step into your power and claim your success.

✨ Connect with Abbe: alarge@lenoxadvisors.com

If this episode resonates with you, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Let’s break barriers together! 💪

#CareerSuccess #WomenInLeadership #BreakingBarriers

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Transcript

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1:11

Have you asked. Wondered what it really takes to break barriers in a male dominated industry, building a thriving career. And still have a life that you love. Today's guest Abby large knows the answer. She is the managing director at Lenox advisors with over 30 years experience and a Ford's top financial security professional. Y'all three years in a row. She's also a mom of three. Who's mastered the art of balance and integration both at home and in the workplace. So she knows her stuff. But today, Abby is going to pull back that curtain on her incredible journey from floundering in her twenties to becoming one, one of the top producers in the entire field. Y'all this woman is amazing. She's also dropping some really serious Jens on. Overcoming self doubt. How to show up in male dominated industry, what it means if someone calls you a bitch and how to build confidence, owning your power unapologetically it's trust me all. This is a powerful session that you do not want to miss. You know where you're at, you're listening to the glass ceilings and sticky floor podcast. The podcast that will empower you to shatter limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to uncover infinite possibilities. So you can live your best life. I'm Erica Rooney and I'm on a mission to bring more women into positions of power and keep them there. I'm obsessed with all things, growth and abundance. And I'm here to talk to you through the tried and true secrets to get you to level up your career and your life. We talk about the hard stuff here. Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear, burnout. And today we're talking about all sorts of things. So pull up a seat popping into your bed and let's dive in. Abby large is the managing director at Lennox advisors with nearly 30 years of experience. Y'all. She is highly skilled in a variety of financial services, estate planning, y'all asset management solutions, the list goes on, but here's, what's really cool. Y'all. She was named Forbes top financial security professionals. In 2022 and 2023 y'all multiple times. She's devoted mom. She's got three kids and a cute, cute dog named Jake, but Abby is here today because she is an expert when it comes to enabling women's economic empowerment. She knows how you can achieve financial harmony with your partner, which. Hello, we all need that and how you can balance your career growth and your family responsibilities. I already told you, she got three kids. Two of them are grown 20, 23 year old twins who have amazing jobs. So she clearly did something right. But Abby, welcome to the podcast. How are you? Thank you. Thank you. You know, since I, since I wrote that bio, it's actually over 30 years experience, which is not nearly over. It's over. It's over. Mind boggling to me. And I also did Forbes in 2024 as well, which is BAM. Y'all look at this woman. She is just knocking him down. Oh, my gosh. Well, I need to know, Abby, like you've got all these accolades. You have all of this success. Can you share a little bit of your journey that brought you to this level of success? And then also, I kind of want to talk about the challenges that you overcame along the way. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Okay. Thanks. I'm going to try that. I'm going to try and make that one short from I'll keep stay it on a high level. But when I was in my early 20s, I was, you know, floundering. I really had no idea what I wanted to do. I knew the area that I liked. I liked advertising. I liked creative. Uh, and very quickly realized that I didn't have the talent that it took to be one of the five people in the industry that made a lot of money. It just, I don't know. It just wasn't for me, but it brought me to New York city. My family moved to Texas, uh, and not that there's anything wrong with Texas, but they wanted me to move and I wasn't moving. I had no money. I had, um, I was living in an apartment that was going co op and they were forcing me to either buy it or move out. I was dating some schmuck that thought I should be working on the floor at the Gap. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but that's what he thought my potential was. And, uh, I had, I really, I was really in trouble. Like I didn't know what to do. And I went to a sales seminar and in the first two rows, there were a bunch of guys. And one of them thankfully found me remotely attractive and came up to me. We exchanged our business cards. And next thing you know, my business card gets in the hands of a sales manager who calls me like, I kid you not five or six times to ask me to come in for an interview. To do financial services and insurance. And I'm like, no, like, no, having said that looking back, I had an aunt who was a house mom and she was tight and this was, this is so bad, but she was tired of waiting around for the in laws to pass away for her to get money. I kid you not. So she took matters into her own hands and decided to go. Um, sell insurance at like New York life or something like that. And she wound up being like the number one sales producer in the, in the company. So I'm thinking, okay, if my aunt could do it, I could do it. Right. So, well, I went the first year I was in this business, it was, you know, with all the tests and all the things that you have to do to qualify to become that. And the first year, I think I cried in the shower every night. I kid you not, but failure was not an option for me. I was the only woman there, uh, pretty much. Maybe there was one or two other women, but they were older, a lot older than I was. And I was just, I don't know. There's a masculine side to me. So for me being in the work environment with a bunch of men, I was comfortable. I felt like I could be harsh and not offend anybody. Or I feel like it was my mindset was, this is my business. And if I fail, I have to move to Texas and that's not an option for me. So was I bitchy? Maybe was I impatient? Maybe was I just out of my mind, just trying to succeed? Absolutely. And I'm unapologetic for it because everybody else was doing the same thing, but I happened to be the woman in the group. And so what? Yeah. So the first year I play, I, I made, uh, what's called freshman five in the company. It's your top five folks in the company. Um, in, in, in their first year in the business, top five, you only get one shot at it. I did it. And now over 30 years later, I have a shot now at, um, being the, I am the top woman producer in the company, in the entire year. So, um, I would say that in the beginning, the grit, the grind came with a lot of grace, but I don't know, just failure wasn't an option for me. And I surrounded myself with people that believed in me. I surrounded myself with people who were more successful than I was, and I never wasted any time talking to people that weren't more successful than me. Um, I also didn't waste any time with any drama or I just, I just wanted to get it done. And that was my mindset, just get it done, get it done. And there were a few personal things that have happened, you know, um, where people became sick or injured or died prematurely or, and you experienced a lot of the heartache that goes with that. And the products that I, that I, um, that I. show people, solve those problems. So I, I had this, um, it became like my why, like I experienced things and it became my why. So it wasn't like I was selling, you know, And nothing, I was selling something that made real differences in people's lives. And that really fueled me. So, and this business is extraordinary in that you can never not learn. There's always something new to learn is always something under the hood with people, but more importantly, if nothing changes, the tax laws change. So I'm always learning about something new. And, um, I don't know, I just couldn't imagine doing anything else. It's also enabled me to control my own destiny and, um, set my own hours and, and, and, and set my own boundaries and, and create the wealth that I wanted to create for myself and the savings that I wanted to create for myself. And it's just, I don't know, man, it just has enabled me to do really cool stuff. The way I wanted to do it, if that makes any sense. Absolutely. And I've got like a million questions already to ask, but one of them is, you know, you talked about being a woman in a male dominated industry and that you were like, if I have to be bitchy, I got to be bitchy. Did that ever backfire on you? And the reason I ask is because I have. Let's say, matched energies before, in boardrooms and things like that, and then I get told I'm intimidating, right? And it's like, that's a bullshit answer, but did you ever get any of that backlash where it's like, because you are a woman, even though you're doing the exact same thing as a man, It's a negative connotation. Did you, did you feel that? Okay. So here's a con I'm going to give you a combo answer because it's not just one answer. It really isn't. Okay. Because, um, first of all, let me just fast forward and say the following. If I'm professional and I'm kind and I'm direct and you're intimidated by me, that's your problem, not mine. So I'm going to start by saying that having said that there's a responsibility of knowing how you affect others. That's a responsibility. Like you have to own the fact that you're powerful. You have to own it because you have to respect it. You can't take it for granted. You can't take advantage of it. You have to respect it. And once you do that, and, and by the way, that takes, that took me a lot of time to respect it. 'cause I, I used to, you know, there's a, there was a lot of head trash that went on in my own head about, oh, am I upsetting that person? Am I this blah, blah. And, and also there were times where I was excluded because I was a woman from certain meetings or. And when I approached that person who excluded me, their comment was, well, you decided to have children and be a mother. Yeah, that's what I got out of that mouth. It blew my mind. It absolutely blew my mind. And you want to know how I reverted back? Do tell. Success. She's like, shut up. I'm gonna show you. Exactly. Success. Because. I don't, the one thing I can control is how I behave. That is the one thing I can control. There's not a lot you can control in this world, but that is definitely one thing you can control. And when you control how you react to others, that's a game changer. Um, And interestingly enough, and ironically enough, people are intimidated by that. But again, not my problem. No, no, it's not my problem. As long as I am respecting my power over the, over others, as long as I'm kind, as long as I'm professional, as long as I'm You know, not being a jerk, that's not my problem. And that's how I deal with it. But, but, but it's really equally as important to respect it too. Cause you do affect others. And that's powerful. I love that you said that because I've just heard so many times this excuse of, that's just the way I am. And like, I am here for being authentic and being yourself. But it feels like a cop out when people say those things. It feels like they just want to be mean, unkind, right, unprofessional, and that's their excuse. Yeah, that's not okay. Yeah. And it's not okay. I have a question for you. You talked about. You know, this motherhood thing, you're going through motherhood and you chose also to just be successful. Are you someone that believes that women today can have it all? Absolutely. And I'll tell you why, because it's a choice that has to be a team choice. In other words, if you're a mom and you're have a family. And a lot of the things fall on the mom, naturally. They just do, like kids sick, doctor calls, whatever. It's the mom. And I, and I think that's an honor. Having said that, you got to loop your family in. This is my goal. This is what I'd like to do. What do you think of that? Why do you have to do that, mom? Why do you have to go to work? Well, because I make a difference in other people's lives. It makes me happy. It makes me a better mother. It makes me a better wife, a friend. It just makes me a better person because I feel like I'm getting a balance out of my life. And I really love, I love that. And then your kid is like, Oh, wow. I want to support that. And so I think it's really important to open up to your children about what you're feeling and what your goals are, what your dreams are and how you want to get there because then they can be your cheerleaders. And they can support you. But not only that, more importantly, you're teaching them how to be a partner, how to be a team player with your own family, with their own family when they're older, right? And how it's okay. And it's hard and the support. And when you're part of a community, your first community is your family. You give back, you, you know, you, You give back with your family, you're, you're involved with your community. And, and that to me, that that's, that's how my children were raised. I mean, that's, it was all open book. We spoke about it at the dinner table. We spoke about it before they went to bed, whatever questions they had, I was an open book. I told them everything. And so even today when they're, they're, they're still my adult children, right? They're My adult children, but they're still my children. They're still your children. You know, they're like men and wom men and women children. I know. But they, we still talk today about work. And then they call me, and they're like, tell me all about their day. And that's pretty cool. Because now we're, we're, yes, we're family members, but we're colleagues also now. Like, we're talking, like colleagues do. So, that's pretty cool. I think to start early and often, of open communication and being an owner of your own shit, also, is really powerful, and Making fun of yourself and laughing at yourself is also really, really a cool thing for kids to see, and that's kind of how I do it. I absolutely love that, and since my kids are on the younger spectrum, right, they're on the younger side of things, I love it because that's how I'm raising my kids too. Because I'm out here in North Carolina, suburbia, you can believe half the women around me don't work. Which is great, like I They don't work outside the home. Correct. They don't work. Earn a paycheck, but they're working, but they're correct. Oh, yes, they are working. And that's like they lean on or I lean on them heavily sometimes. So it's like I love them for that. And that is an amazing. You know, just thing to be able to do if that's what lights you up and so for me, it's those conversations with my kids of like, why don't I stay home? Like little Timmy's mom or, you know, and so we have to have those. Timmy's mom can come to be a lunch parent every single day. And so we have to have those deep conversations, but I say this because, you know, When I get to the point where I have adult children who are in the workplace, like I want them calling me like they're calling you. And so it gives me hope that I'm doing the right thing and I'm setting myself up. So yeah, you are. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. Um, I did want to pull in, you said something really powerful earlier, and I don't even think you recognized it, but you said that this is what became my why. And I want to dive into that because I feel like so many people feel like I have to have this soul purpose and this soul why that was just like Given to me upon birth and like I don't know what it is and I can't found it but you said this became my why which leads me to think that like It evolves and you can find it and you can create it. If you so desire. What is your thought on that? Oh, my God. I'm so glad you picked up on that. Um, I think that experiences. Or evolve exactly your word it spot on it evolves things happen in life that you are thrusted into and it affects you to the core and whatever that is. that can become your why and you can manifest it as well. Like, you know, my young children, my young adults, they still kind of, they kind of know what they want to do. One does what does one doesn't really, I remember being that age. I wasn't really sure I knew kind of what it, but here's the thing. You just got to go down a path. Right? You got to walk down that path, you got to meet the different people that are going to affect you, you got to, you got to, people are going to come in and out of your life, you got to recognize when to bring somebody in and when to throw somebody out, like immediately. That is an important thing too. And so you go, you go walking through life and people come in and out and you have these experiences and BAM, something happens. And it will affect you and it will become part of your core. And when that happens, that's your passion. That's your why. But here's the thing. You gotta walk down that road and sometimes you gotta pivot and recalibrate. It's about, it's about recognizing when to recalibrate is really important, right? Like listening to that, that voice inside of you, what's fueling you, what, you know, it's funny. I have, I volunteer in my community quite a bit and I always, and I've been in charge of committees and this and that. My first question to anybody. But he is, why are you here and why do you care? I want to know what your why is. I, I, I, I know who you are, but why are you? And that's more interesting to me. Why are you? I love that. And I just love that it gives. This message of like hope and possibility, because if you feel like, I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, like there's always time, there's always time to figure it out, and lean into those things, and guess what? Like I talk about like these ideas of core values and stuff, and as you grow and change, like all of those things change, you know? My, my values and my core priorities for when I was 23, in college, and single, A lot different from my priorities today, you know, and my core values, you know, like back then it was like, let me do as many trips and fun things. And now it's like, let me be with my loved ones at home. So because you, because you have the experience of being a mother and a wife and, and having your home and all of these things, it just happens. It just happens naturally, but just remember, if something doesn't fit or doesn't feel right, it's okay. Yeah. It's okay. Realize that it doesn't, and then just pivot. I love that. And Abby, you mentioned earlier, and I loved it because it made me cackle a little bit on the inside, but you talked about the head trash that existed back in the day. And I love to call those things our sticky floors, the limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors that keep you stuck. When you think about. That head trash. What, what was the head trash that you were really experiencing, and then how did you move forward so that you could become successful? Well, if it makes you feel any better, I still have the head trash. And I think everybody does on a daily basis. And I think recognizing that is part of the norm. That it's okay to feel self doubt. It's okay to feel fear. Having said that, I don't like the way they feel. But they're just conversations I'm having with myself at the end of the day. And, It's okay to say that out loud. Like, I don't know. I just, I don't know. I, I don't think everyone has all the right answers. I don't think everyone is perfect on a daily basis. I think the most successful people in the world have had trash and self doubt. I just don't think it's normal not to, I just don't like the way it feels. And I think that's the part that bothers everybody, right? But that's okay. That's, that's what, I don't know. I kind of, I'm the kind of person that just has to change the things I can't accept. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. I love how you phrased it though, as it's just a conversation that I'm having with myself. It is. Because it's not the truth. It's not gospel. It's not written anywhere. It's just a conversation that you're having with yourself. And you know what? Not all conversations are good conversations. So. Yeah. And, and, and it's okay to say it out loud to someone who you trust, who you know is going to validate how you're feeling, but say, but, but you did this, like, don't forget that. And I think we're, look, I'm very hard on myself, isn't every, I mean, I don't know a lot. I know a lot of people who are very hard on themselves and I think, I think achievers are naturally hard on themselves because they're going where no person has gone before. It's scary, but it's also really goddamn exciting. Right. Right. Yes. It's really exciting to change things. I love just this visual, and it's what I use whenever I find myself in those moments of self doubt, which for me usually means I'm about to step outside of my comfort zone. You know? And I can just see myself stepping outside. standing in this circle. It's literally a visualization that I have in my mind. And it's just kind of like putting that foot over the line outside of my comfort zone. But what is amazing about that like zone of discomfort that you're about to step into is your discomfort zone gets smaller with every step you take. You know, it's like you have to step into it. It's uncomfortable for a little bit, but then it expands because you've done it once. You can do it again. And I'm a big believer in like looking for those signs of evidence so that you can prove to yourself that you've done the hard things. Yeah. I've on a daily basis, I think I say to myself, one of my affirmations is, uh, be comfortable being uncomfortable. Yeah. You gotta be comfortable being uncomfortable. I think I said to my daughter a few months ago, I said, if you could do anything in the world and know you would never fail, what would it, what would it be? And then she immediately said, I wouldn't get very far. How old are you? Wow. How true. I love that. I love that. So Abby, I know I love to ask this question of all of my guests, but if we had to go back in time to the Abby that was floundering in her twenties, right? That was struggling. What piece of advice would you give her today? Now that you know, all that, you know, I would say, love yourself. I love it. Simple, powerful. Love yourself. And it's the most important relationship you're going to have. It is. a love affair with yourself. Be in love with yourself. Yeah, it's a big thing. I love that. All right, listeners, you heard it. Your homework today is get out there and start a love affair with your damn self if you don't already have one going on. So, and Abby, if people want to connect with you, if they want to talk to you, how can they get in touch with you? Email is probably best. A large at Lennox advisors. com and that's L E N O X A D V I S O R S. Love it. I'll link it in the show notes, Abby. Thank you for your time, for your expertise and just your amazing words. Like there was so much goodness in today's episode. So thank you. Oh gosh. Thank you for having me. It was wonderful. Y'all how good was that episode? Abby large just showed us that success. Isn't about perfection. It's about persistence. It's about passion and it's about staying true to your why. And sometimes it's about figuring out what that, why is and developing it as you go. Now, whether you're navigating the challenges of being a woman in a male dominated industry, or finding that harmony between your career and your family. Happy today really reminded us that you can design a life that works for you. A life you love on your terms. And if you want to connect with that and be which I think you should, and you can reach her at her email, a large@lenoxadvisors.com and trust me, she's the real deal. Y'all. But before you go, I have to remind you to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast as it does help it land in the hands of the woman that needs to hear it most. And if you have not. Get your butt to Amazon and buy a copy of my book, glass ceilings, and sticky floors. It is endorsed by Mel Robbins backed by success magazine. Y'all are gonna love it. So thank you for being here and if no, one's told you today, you're fricking awesome.