Jennifer Zajac's Journey Overcoming Addiction and Finding Faith

Wandering in Shadows and Finding Light: Jennifer Zajac's Journey

Wandering in the Shadows: Overcoming Addiction and Finding Faith

In this episode of Open Forum in The Villages, Mike Roth interviews sisters Donna Hoover and Jennifer Zajac. Jennifer shares her powerful journey from a life of addiction, starting from a young age, through her struggles with drugs, alcohol, and bulimia. Despite several relapses and challenging life events, including a ruptured brain aneurysm, Jennifer finds redemption and recovery through faith and a strong relationship with Jesus Christ. Donna discusses the process of writing the book 'Wandering in the Shadows' about Jennifer's life and their goal to inspire and provide hope to others facing similar struggles. The episode emphasizes the importance of open communication with loved ones and finding personal paths to healing and recovery.

00:00 Introduction to Open Forum in The Villages
00:36 Meet the Guests: Donna Hoover and Jennifer Zajac
00:57 Jennifer's Journey: From Addiction to Recovery
01:38 Early Struggles and Family Dynamics
06:05 The Turning Point: Finding Faith and Sobriety
10:20 Relapse and Redemption
12:43 Advice for Parents and Personal Reflections
18:09 Writing the Book: Wandering in the Shadows
20:50 Final Thoughts and How to Get the Book
22:34 Closing Remarks and Supporter Shoutouts

Have you heard about mature adults with Donna Hoover and Mike Roth? Yes. This is my second podcast and Donna and I are going to be addressing subjects which are significant for seniors, especially seniors living here in the villages.

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Transcript

Jennifer Zajac & Donna Hoover on Wandering in the Shadows 

Dolores: [00:00:00] Welcome to Season seven of Open Forum in The Villages, Florida. In this show, we talk to leaders of clubs and interesting folks who live in and around The Villages. We also talk to people who have information vital to seniors. You will get perspectives of what is happening in The Villages, Florida area.

We are a listener supported there will be shouts supporters.

Mike: This is Mike Roth on Open Forum in The Villages, Florida. And today we have two beautiful ladies. With me, we have Donna Hoover. Say, hi Donna. Thanks for joining me. 

Donna M.Z. Hoover: Hi

And we have Donna's sister,

Thank you.

Mike: Jennifer Zajac and Donna's recently , written and released a book called Wandering in the Shadows about story, Jennifer. How did you feel about that when [00:01:00] Donna approached you and said, I wanna write a book about your life?

Jennifer Zajac: I said good thing I have journals from the time I was 12 years old because most of the things I'd probably have forgotten about, but a lot of things to look back on and I was excited.

Mike: Wow, that's fantastic. Most people don't have journals. 

Jennifer Zajac: ,I have journals from so they're 43 years old,

Mike: wow.

Jennifer Zajac: cool to be able to 

And read things I went through.

Mike: Yeah. To read how what you've gone through. So in your own words jennifer,

Jennifer Zajac: Because.

Mike: Why don't you, don't you tell a little, tell us a little bit about your story. Summary. Wait a minute.

Jennifer Zajac: father died when I was young. I used drugs and alcohol. I left home at 16. Just lived a wild and crazy life. Just just, it was a life of addiction and abuse and I overcame it once. I got clean and sober and then probably after, six years I went back to it and I started using again. And [00:02:00] then I had some health issues. And I finally got completely clean and sober and found God, and actually I've always had God, but I just started really pushing into him and just developing that relationship. So yeah, here I am now just telling the story to hopefully share it with enough people that it could help

Mike: Sure. So you were 12 years old when you started drinking alcohol. did you do that?

Jennifer Zajac: Oh, it was easy. Just my mom had a boyfriend and he had beer at our house all the time, and so he, they were having like a 4th of July party or something and I walked out, snuck a beer and had my first beer, and it

Mike: Okay.

Jennifer Zajac: after that it was, it just seemed like it was coming up. I was drinking at friends' houses.

It was just happening all the time. After that, 

Mike: affect you in school?

Jennifer Zajac: I? Not really, no, because it was just on the weekends. It wasn't like I was drinking in school.

Grade at the time. No,

Mike: Yeah. Yeah. How old were you when you started to experiment with drugs?

Jennifer Zajac: Probably the first time I started doing drugs was probably [00:03:00] about 14. And it was just sporadically, but we would do like cocaine it was, I worked at a health club and a lot of the people had drugs there, so we would do it a little bit here and there on the weekends or after they closed.

Mike: Okay. And, did you in involve both alcohol and drugs, or is it just one or the other?

Jennifer Zajac: Yeah. No, it was just when I was younger, when I was using drugs and alcohol, it was only like once in a while, every other weekend or on the weekend. It just depended. But if it was more alcohol all the time, it wasn't a lot of drugs, 

Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Was your mom aware that you had the problem?

Jennifer Zajac: No, not at that time I also had eating disorders, so I think she was more focused on that because I was, I had bulimia and I was eating my food and vomiting, so I think she was more focused on what was going on with that. Yeah, he didn't see.

Donna M.Z. Hoover: I just wanted to add there was some realization of it because , there was at least one time when you went to a [00:04:00] party with your friends and passed out. And then we had to have our family friend come and pick you up and brought you home and you were drunk.

Jennifer Zajac: Yeah, that's

Yeah, I guess you're right. So I forget about some stuff. I guess there was times where I would. Speak drinking and she knew about

I'm like,

Mike: How old were you when the bulimia kicked in?

Jennifer Zajac: I was about probably 12.

Mike: 12. 

Jennifer Zajac: Started right about 12.

Mike: Was there any other outside event or abuse happened in your life when you were around 12 years old?

Jennifer Zajac: My friend's father one night when I was sleeping at her house, I woke up and he had his hands on my behind and on my inner thighs and rubbing me and stuff like that. Nothing really more came of that, but it was something that, my world upside down, it was, he was a prison guard and it was somebody that I trusted and so it was just like, he had a badge, he had a gun. And so it was something that was incredibly, how can I trust anybody if I can't trust somebody like that?

Kind [00:05:00] of messed with my head a little bit, 

Mike: and so when you were 12 years old, did you seek any outside help?

Jennifer Zajac: No.

Mike: You how did you go about getting rid of the bulimia, the eating disorder?

Jennifer Zajac: It's my mom she confronted me and asked me if I was vomiting up my food, and I said, I admitted it. And I said fine. I won't eat your food anymore. 'cause she told me I was wasting money. So I was like, fine, I won't eat your food anymore. And so then I just started starving myself. So then it was like the other extreme, so it was like what they call now anorexia. Back then it wasn't really popular, so I just stopped eating. And I went down to 82 pounds and I was pretty thin.

Mike: Wow.

Jennifer Zajac: And sickly and we were trying to get help for that. We went to a few counseling sessions and stuff, but that was just the next extreme.

But then years, fought this for probably 15, 20 years, for a long time. On and off.

Mike: What was the best professional help that you got?

Jennifer Zajac: Best professional help. [00:06:00] It was probably the first rehab that I went to. I was there for a month and I was older.

Mike: Old were you?

Jennifer Zajac ai: I was probably 26 

 27. . 

Mike: So this was inpatient.

Jennifer Zajac: Yeah, I stayed there. This was in Las Vegas, Nevada. And they had just in-depth counseling. There was a woman that was writing a book, she was one of the therapists there, and she was writing a book on ADHD. And she was like, you are textbook ADHD. And she's I would love to include you in my book. Do I have your permission? And I was like yeah.

So she would take me every day and take me aside and interview me. And it was just a time where I just really. I met so many different types of people and I just started seeing how we all have been touched differently and how we all deal differently with traumas or just life experiences.

Donna M.Z. Hoover: I am very upset right now. I'm not the first person who wrote your story. What? Oh.

Jennifer Zajac: you know that.

Mike: This is Mike Roth and Dr. Cur, Greg Curtis. We're talking about Alzheimer's disease. What [00:07:00] is the diagnostic process to Splish the difference between someone who has Alzheimer's and someone who has a different form of dementia? 

Dr. Craig Curtis: That's a great question, Mike. So Alzheimer's disease in the past was a clinical diagnosis.

Mike: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Craig Curtis: And we would talk to the patient and the family and they would tell us about this progressive memory loss and maybe other symptoms that have been occurring over the past three to five years.

Mike: Mm-hmm. 

Dr. Craig Curtis: And we would simply test their memory and maybe wait another year or two and retest their memory to look for decline.

Mike: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Craig Curtis: Nowadays. It's completely different. As a matter of fact, now our diagnostic process involves actually looking for amyloid in the brain, which we now know causes Alzheimer's disease. How do you see amyloid in the brain? We can see amyloid in the brain using PET scans. Which is the most common way.

And now we're working on using blood tests, which are [00:08:00] going to be coming out in the next few years. In fact, there's already one blood test that is FDA cleared to detect amyloid in the blood, which is reflecting amyloid in the brain. 

Mike: And that would be the differential between another type of dementia and.

Alzheimer's. 

Dr. Craig Curtis: Yes, sir. 

 Warren: With over 20 years of experience studying brain health, Dr. Curtis's goal is to educate the village's community on how to live a longer, healthier life. To learn more, visit his website, craigcurtismd.com, or call 3 5 2 5 0 0 5 2 5 2 to attend a free seminar.

Mike: okay, so or 27. What's that? So your 26th or 27, get out of the inpatient rehab. What happens to you next?

Jennifer Zajac: I didn't get out. I broke out one night. I actually jumped over the fence with my bags. 

Clean and sober for all this time. The only thing I did was smoke cigarettes which was the last thing on my list to finally kick. but I just went to church. I just served in the [00:09:00] church. I just tried to clean up my whole life. My daughter was probably, who was she seven? Donna, she was about seven years old. And I just focused on healing, getting myself better and taking care of my daughter, that's what I did.

Mike: That was when you were about 27 years old. Okay. And you're just a couple of years older than that now, I'm sure. 

Jennifer Zajac: Just a.

Mike: what were you, what, knowing what you know today about yourself your background, if you could talk to that 10 or 12-year-old Jennifer, advice would you give her?

Jennifer Zajac: Probably, I would probably say j Jennifer, your purpose in life to learn to love. It's to love God. It's to love other people, but you need to learn to love yourself, and you're gonna fail a lot. But just remember when you do,

Jennifer Zajac ai: he is always there and he will forgive you.

Mike: That's good. Now, Donna, when Jennifer's going through all [00:10:00] of this how close to her were.

Donna M.Z. Hoover: It was different at different times. And one thing I wanna make note of is that she did get clean and sober but that wasn't the end of the story because she fell back into addiction again after a period of about five years or so. So there's a whole nother many chapters of that. I was older, I was nine years older than her.

I still am I was out of the house,

Mike: Okay.

Donna M.Z. Hoover: but

Mike: were living

Donna M.Z. Hoover: yeah, there, there was some of, sometimes we weren't. She had gone away at age 16 to San Diego and I was still in Vacaville, California. So there was not a yeah. So there wasn't a close connection. But over the years, we interacted. There was a period of time she lived with me in Vacaville later on down the road.

So there were different seasons, 

Mike: Could you tell our listeners a little bit more about that relapse that you had? What caused that?

Jennifer Zajac: It's in the

Mike: Or was there No cause.

Jennifer Zajac: I just wanted [00:11:00] to I was falling in love with somebody and this is just crazy. So I was falling in love with somebody and I was sober for years. I think it was like six years. I don't, I'm not that good with numbers and dates, but I was sober for all this time and I fell in love and I was like wanting to experience everything with him for the first time.

And I was like, it's too bad we can't even have a drink together. And that's what opened up everything. We had a drink together and then it led to other things, and then yeah a terrible relapse

Mike: Were you ever a member of Alcoholics Anonymous?

Jennifer Zajac: Oh,

Mike: Were you ever a member? Many times. Did it work for you?

Jennifer Zajac: I went. No, not at all. I went often, sometimes two or three times a day, even when I didn't have a car. I'd walk there, take a bus, ride a bike, whatever I had to do to get there, and I would just go and gather the coins and then end up drinking three days later. So I had a, I have a large collection of the coins.

'cause you get a coin after you don't drink for a month and then another

It a chip. So

Honestly for years. But [00:12:00] I think I had a problem with it because they would say my higher power. And I was like, it's not a higher power, it's God. And that's just how I felt personally. Like I can't call it anything except God, so I was listening to all these other people give credit to other things and I, it was hard for me to be a part of.

Mike: Okay. Group wasn't right for you. That happens. I understand you're a parent now, Jennifer, right?

Jennifer Zajac: Am,

Mike: And based on your knowledge of what happened to you in your life up to today what advice would you give to parents whose teenage son or daughter was having the kinds of problems that you were having?

Jennifer Zajac: First I would tell parents at a young age, you need to learn to children, to communicate with you and never stop. So if you have a open way of talking with each other, you're always gonna be able to get into what's going on into their life. I think that you need to not be afraid that you're butting into their business. [00:13:00] You need to be hyper aware of what is going on with them, communicating what they're doing, what they're seeing, where they're going, and just constantly asking questions about knowing their friends too.

Mike: Type of interventions that you would recommend as a parent now yourself, but to other parents who have children that are going off the straight and narrow?

Jennifer Zajac: Oh, you just gotta lock them in room for a month and then no, I'm just joking. 

Mike: It

Jennifer Zajac: You just gotta.

Mike: doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Jennifer Zajac: Doesn't it? That's something I would do, especially 'cause my kid's homeschooled and he doesn't need to go anywhere. You just you can't feel bad for them and feel like they're gonna hate you just gotta get in there and do whatever it takes. And I think everybody has different things that will help them. So whether it's aa going to rehab. Personally, I tried everything and the only thing that worked for me is getting in with Jesus Christ, getting a personal relationship with him and being healed by him personally.

Mike:  Happen for you? How did you build that religious [00:14:00] relationship?

Jennifer Zajac: Started building my personal relationship with Jesus in the second rehab that I was in, and I just started writing out scripture. I just started. Making sure that all of my thoughts were on Jesus all the time. Like it's, it was crazy, like I would wake up and I'd pray. I'd be like, Jesus, I need you today.

All day. I need you to help me stay sober. So I'm gonna open up this prayer, and every time I need you throughout the day, just gonna be like, Jesus, I need you. So if I open the prayer in the morning and I close it out at night, I have open communication. All day long with him. And so I would just talk to him randomly through the day what's, I can't get through this.

Help me not do this. And I just started talking to him like he was present, like with me all day long. I started writing down scriptures and just keeping journals of just different scriptures that talked to me. I read different books. Every single like week, I'd read two books, Joyce Meyers, max LoDo, all the different things.

I was just feeding myself Jesus all the time and what I was trying to do, and I didn't know anything about [00:15:00] this, and I hear it's a thing now. I was trying to reprogram my brain. I was trying to get rid of all the garbage and stop relying on getting high or drinking or smoking to help that anxiety or that fear or whatever it is and just put Jesus there. That's what I

Jennifer Zajac ai: did.

Mike: And it seems to have worked for you. Is there any particular, prayer that you used, was part of the turning point for you.

Jennifer Zajac: No have the scripture, my scripture that talks about it in the book. It's Psalms 1 21. I do not know it by heart, which is really funny that I don't. but it just talks about him watching me from the top of a mountain and he will not let me slip or fall, and he's always got my back, so that was the one I would read that one. I wouldn't pray it when I pray. I don't pray. I don't know, like traditionally, I guess I pray more like he's with me and he's, Jesus, I need you right now. Please come to me and I love so I just always act kind. It's cute and just endearing, like he's my papa, 

Mike: so you do you go to [00:16:00] church regularly?

Jennifer Zajac: I just got home from church. Yes, we go every

Mike: Okay. Okay. Do you go more than once a week? Other church activities?

Jennifer Zajac: if they have. Yeah, sometimes like we'll go and and we do things like we have, groups that have ministries. We have friends. We're in a couples group for a while, but we have a friend that does like a laundry ministry. So we'll go out and help the homeless and feed, wash their clothes and feed them and stuff. We're always constantly, my husband wakes up every morning. The first thing that he does after the shower is. Reads is devotional, sends it out to everybody, gets down on his knees and pray, and so does my 13-year-old son. That's, our world is just filled with Jesus

Mike: So you, you've made a left turn with the help of religion.

Jennifer Zajac: for sure.

Mike: And

Jennifer Zajac: Do

Mike: you still keeping your journals? Are you still keeping your journals?

Jennifer Zajac: I write periodically. I don't write as much as I used to. I had I don't know if Donna told you, I had a ruptured brain aneurysm.

 After [00:17:00] That, I don't know I, reading and writing is just not my favorite thing to do anymore. It's hard

To,

Mike: now after the An a..

Jennifer Zajac: Yeah, it's hard

Mike: How long ago did you have it?

Jennifer Zajac: things. So five years ago, it was 2020,

Mike: But you ever figure out why that happened to you?

Jennifer Zajac: It's probably a lot to do with my lifestyle. They say it's from blood pressure, it could be from smoking. It adds to it and stuff. But our great grandmother, was it great grandmother or grandmother?

Donna M.Z. Hoover: It was our grandmother.

Jennifer Zajac: Our grandmother died of an aneurysm,

So that makes sense why I got one. They

Mike: A lot of things are hereditary. 

Jennifer Zajac: Are.

Mike: anything you want to add in here or questions you want to add?

Donna M.Z. Hoover: That's a good question. I wasn't thinking of this though. 

Mike: So you

Donna M.Z. Hoover: Yeah, what would you

Mike: let me throw a question to

Donna M.Z. Hoover: would just say what? Okay.

Mike: You wrote the, you wrote this book, Wandering in the Shadows. How did you come up with that name for a book about your [00:18:00] sister's life?

Donna M.Z. Hoover: I, it's, it, I worked on this book for a long time, like seven and a half years. And so we came up with the name and the cover really early and I think it was Jennifer and I were having discussions and, it just was something that came and when it did we both knew that should be the name.

And then when the cover design when we started putting that together, we knew that should be the cover as well. It just seemed like something that was supposed to be exactly as it was. We didn't question it. We didn't keep looking for other names. We didn't keep looking for other cover art. The first thing that we came upon, we were like, this is it.

This is it.

Mike: Can you concentrate on the word shadows? Wh why shadows?

Donna M.Z. Hoover: Because her it's an interesting thing because Jennifer is a very lighthearted creative, whimsical girl who, woman now who just brings light everywhere that she goes. And [00:19:00] she has this light side of her that's always been, but then there was this, the dichotomy of the darkness that she was walking through.

So it made sense, the name made sense. She was wandering in the shadows. She was really somewhere she shouldn't have been because it was opposite of her personality and even through it all. And I think this is one of the things that I like about the book because it, it keeps you rooting for Jennifer knowing who she is.

And I think I've been told I did a pretty good job of, telling people what she was like and her sweetness and her lightness and her brightness. And I think I did a good job of that because it was very important to me and Jennifer that obviously people were rooting for her because there are many stories out there that are told.

They are the darkness. Here's all the bad things that happen and it just keeps going and it gets worse, but you don't [00:20:00] really fall in love with the main character necessarily. You just keep thinking, why don't they get their life better? What's wrong with these people in this book? You may have some of those feelings, but you care.

Mike: Jennifer, how did you feel when Donna told you that you wanted to write a book about your life?

Jennifer Zajac: I was excited because I believe that I went through all the things that I went through not to harm me. What Jesus says, it wasn't to harm me. It was to have a story, to have a testimony from it, to share it with other people so that they could find freedom too.

Mike: Good. So let's wrap it up on a positive note. Jennifer, why don't you give our listeners, people who've heard a little bit about your life, a positive, uplifting perspective go through problems in your life.

Jennifer Zajac: You just got it. You gotta take responsibility for yourself, and you just gotta say, yeah, I did this, and get over it and ask for forgiveness and just move on. Don't dwell in the [00:21:00] shadows, 

Mike: don't do, dwell in the shadows. I like that. Step out and move forward. Something I've always believed in. And Donna, why don't you give our listeners the same kind of uplifting advice.

Donna M.Z. Hoover: Yeah, I agree with what she said, of course. And it's just a matter of. Holding on to hope and believing that there is something outside of what you're living in now. And sometimes that's difficult because all you can see is the darkness. But if you just hold on and just keep walking in the right direction, things are gonna turn around for you and you will find hope and redemption on the other side of it.

Mike Roth AI4: Good. Donna, why don't you tell our listeners again how to get a hold of a copy of Wandering in the Shadows?

Donna M.Z. Hoover: We have a website which you would probably enjoy. It's wanderingintheshadows.com and you can see video interviews with Jennifer and Yes. And there's a photo gallery that correlates with the chapters. So it's fun to see the people that we're talking [00:22:00] about at. Yeah, so as you go through the book, you can do that.

So you can go to wanderingintheshadows.com. You can go to Amazon and buy it there under the name Wandering in the Shadows, but if you do go to the website, there's a link there. So that's probably the easiest thing to do.

Mike: Good. Thank you ladies for being with us today on Open Forum in The Villages.

Jennifer Zajac: Thank you.

Donna M.Z. Hoover: Yes. Thank you so much, Mike.

Dolores: Remember, our next episode will be released next Friday at 9:00 AM. Should you wanna become a major supporter of the show or have questions, please contact us at mike@rothvoice.com. This is a shout out for supporters, tweet Coleman, ed Williams, Duane Roemmich, Paul Sorgen, and Dr. Craig Curtis at K2 in The Villages.

We will be hearing more from Dr. Curtis with short Alzheimer's tips each week. If you know someone who should be on the show, contact us at Mike. Roth voice.com. The way our show grows is with your help. Text your friends about this show. If you [00:23:00] enjoyed listening or just tell your friends about the show.

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