The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast
Birth trauma is the dark and sometimes scary side of pregnancy & postpartum that no one wants to talk about. But, we're here to change that! I'm Kayleigh, a licensed therapist and birth trauma survivor, determined to bring birth trauma out of the shadows and into the light. When we talk about birth trauma, we take away its power and leave space for healing. Your birth trauma does not need to “happen for a reason." Birth trauma sucks and it’s okay to admit that. Join us as we navigate what it means to heal from birth trauma. You’ll hear from experts in the field as well as others who have experienced birth trauma. Storytelling and education are keys to raising awareness and better understanding how we heal trauma. We don’t do toxic positivity in this space, but you’ll definitely hear some dark humor. You’ll laugh and you’ll cry, but, most importantly, you’ll learn that you’re not alone and that healing is possible. Birth trauma is bullish*it, but your healing is not.
The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast
Ep. 256: Mothering Through Loss: Pregnancy Loss, TFMR, Birth Trauma, and Healing feat. Carmen
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In this moving listener story, Carmen shares her complicated journey through pregnancy loss, recurrent miscarriage, TFMR (termination for medical reasons), traumatic births, emergency deliveries, and ultimately building the family she always dreamed of. As a mother of 12 babies, five Earthside and seven who are no longer physically here, Carmen offers a powerful perspective on grief, resilience, and what it means to continue mothering children who have died.
Throughout this conversation, Carmen opens up about the realities of pregnancy after loss, the emotional toll of carrying grief through multiple pregnancies, and the complicated intersection of gratitude and trauma. Her story is one of profound love, heartbreaking decisions, and the ongoing process of learning how to carry both joy and sorrow at the same time.
In This Episode, We Discuss:
👶 Carmen's first pregnancy and the devastating experience of a missed miscarriage
💔 How pregnancy loss shattered her sense of safety and changed the way she viewed future pregnancies
🩺 Navigating recurrent pregnancy loss and seeking answers through fertility care
❤️ Receiving a devastating prenatal diagnosis during a long-awaited pregnancy
🧬 Learning that her daughter had multiple complex medical conditions, including severe congenital heart defects and DeGeorge syndrome
🤍 Making the heartbreaking decision to pursue TFMR after extensive research and consultation with specialists
👼 Meeting and saying goodbye to her daughter, Ayabelle
📸 Why sharing photos and stories of babies who have died can be an important part of parenting after loss
🌈 The complicated emotions that accompany pregnancy after loss
👶 Welcoming her first living child while carrying immense fear and unresolved grief
🚑 Experiencing multiple emergency deliveries and traumatic birth experiences
🩸 Surviving placental abruptions that threatened both her life and her babies' lives
🏥 The reality of repeatedly entering pregnancy and birth expecting the worst-case scenario
💙 Losing another son, Jude, after receiving a prenatal diagnosis incompatible with life
🌧️ How grief can resurface even years after a loss
🧠 Recognizing delayed trauma and grief long after surviving difficult pregnancies and births
👩⚕️ The importance of providers asking not only how patients are doing physically, but emotionally
🌟 The healing power of sharing stories and connecting with other loss parents
👨👩👧👦 Raising living children while honoring the siblings who are no longer here
🎗️ Creating community through pregnancy and infant loss advocacy work
✨ Learning how grief evolves rather than disappears
❤️ Holding gratitude and heartbreak at the same time
Key Takeaway
Carmen's story is a powerful reminder that trauma and grief are often rooted in love. Her journey demonstrates that it is possible to build a beautiful life while still carrying profound loss, and that healing doesn't mean leaving grief behind. Whether you're navigating pregnancy loss, TFMR, birth trauma, or parenting after loss, Carmen's story offers validation, hope, and the reminder that every baby matters and every story deserves to be remembered.
Topics Covered
🔹 Pregnancy Loss
🔹 Recurrent Miscarriage
🔹 Missed Miscarriage
🔹 TFMR (Termination for Medical Reasons)
🔹 Pregnancy After Loss
🔹 Birth Trauma
🔹 Placental Abruption
🔹 Emergency C-Sections
🔹 Infant Loss
🔹 Maternal Mental Health
🔹 Grief & Healing
🔹 Parenting After Loss
🔹 Pregnancy & Infant Loss Advocacy
Memorable Quote
✨ "Trauma isn't nothing, it's love that was shocked."
You can follow along with Carmen and her family's journey on Instagram: @adiarytoourbabies and check out their book HERE.
For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.
Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.
Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.