She's That Founder: Business Strategy and Time Management for Impactful Female Leaders

066 | Resilience Lessons for Female Founders with Nika Stewart

• Dawn Andrews • Season 1 • Episode 66

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You know those moments when life throws you a major plot twist, and you’re left wondering what the heck to do next? 

In this episode, we sit down with the unstoppable Nika Stewart, who didn’t just face a cancer diagnosis—she flipped the script on it. Nika took what could’ve been a devastating setback and turned it into a masterclass on resilience, embracing imperfection, and showing up authentically. 

She proves that you don’t need to be flawless to be a powerful leader; you just need to be real.

Nika shares how she strategically used humor and vulnerability to not only connect with her audience but also to drive real business growth. If you’ve been feeling stuck or questioning your next move, this conversation will reignite your business mindset. 

Get ready to see how rewriting the rules can unlock fresh opportunities for scaling your business and achieving lasting success.


In this episode, you’ll learn …

  •  Learn practical strategies on how to convert setbacks into opportunities.
  • Discover how embracing your true, imperfect self can strengthen client relationships and lead to tangible business results.
  • To break away from traditional business strategies and create your own rules for success.
  • Actionable insights to make your content go viral, and enhance your business’s online presence and reach.


This episode at a glance:

[2:14] - Introduction to Nika Stewart and her new book, "Actually, I Can."

[4:35] - How Nika’s personal journey of resilience influenced her brand identity.

[10:22] - The transformative power of choosing a positive attitude, even in the face of a cancer diagnosis.

[37:15] - The importance of systems in maintaining business continuity during challenging times.

[49:08] - Nika’s mission to rewrite the rules of resilience for entrepreneurs and beyond.


Resources and Links mentioned in this episode


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More about the “My Good Woman” podcast

My Good Woman is a podcast for new and future female leaders, hosted by me, Dawn Andrews.

I’m a happily married hockey mom, proud female leader, and founder and CEO of Free Range Thinking, where we turn founders into confident CEOs with strategic consulting and leadership training.

Grab a seat at the table with me each week for candid conversations with culture-shifting, glass ceiling-busting, trailblazing women, who are leading enter

Want to increase revenue and impact? Listen to “My Good Woman” for insights on business strategy and female leadership to scale your business. Each episode offers advice on effective communication, team building, and management. Learn to master routines and systems to boost productivity and prevent burnout. Our delegation tips and business consulting will advance your executive leadership skills and presence.

My Good Woman
Ep. 66 |  Resilience Lessons for Female Founders with Nika Stewart


Dawn Andrews: Hey there, listeners before we dive into today's episode, I've got some exciting news. We're nearing the end of my good woman, as you know, it. But don't worry. This is just the beginning of something even more epic, we're transitioning into she's that founder where we'll take all the momentum we've built and supercharge it. 

I'm a Marvel super fan. So patriarchy be damned, I just love superhero movies. And like in a Marvel movie, you've been with the heroes, through the origin story, learning their powers, facing the challenges. But now we're heading into the next phase where the stakes are higher, the action is bigger, and the team comes together to conquer new challenges. 

This new phase will bring even more empowering stories, practical strategies, and bold moves to help you step into your full power as a founder and CEO. Here's the important part, we're going to take a short break. About six months before she's that founder officially kicks off. Six months, guys. 

But don't worry, I've got you covered. If you want to stay in the loop, be the first to hear about the launch, get a few sneak peaks, and special bonuses along the way; make sure you join our mailing list. You'll get exclusive updates behind the scenes content and all the exciting news leading up to the show's return. To join the list, head over to dawndrews.com forward slash mailing list  and follow us on social media for more insights and previews while we gear up for this next adventure. She's that founder is going to be packed with everything you need to be the leader and business owner that you were born to be, and I can't wait to share it with you. 

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Nika Stewart: I was in business and feeling joyful, mostly, basically, but I was also doing things the way I was taught by the business gurus and trying to get out there and be a leader and be perfect and show up as a perfect leader so that I could be credible during cancer and the changes in my appearance and how I felt physically.

I couldn't show up perfect. So if I wanted to continue to lead and run a business and get more clients, if I wanted to continue that during this challenging time, I had to show up imperfectly. And I learned that that is so much better. You actually can be more credible when you are real and authentic and imperfectly perfect.

Dawn Andrews: Welcome to the My Good Woman podcast where we help female founders break past plateaus and get to the next level of business growth by refining their strategy building systems and streamlining operations. 

I'm Dawn Andrews, the founder and CEO of free range thinking business strategy consulting. Join me each week for candid conversations, with culture, shifting glass ceiling busting trailblazing women who are leading impactful enterprises and grab their strategies to help your business reach extraordinary levels of growth.

In today's episode, you'll learn how embracing your imperfections can make you a more credible and relatable leader, especially when the going gets tough. You learn the secret to turning adversity into a business asset by using resilience to not just survive, but thrive. You'll learn how finding humor in difficult situations can be a game changer for both your personal healing and business growth. And you'll learn how to define success on your own terms, by challenging the rules and creating a path that aligns with your true values. This episode is a gem and I can't wait for you to meet my good friend, Nika Stewart.

 Nika Stewart, you are on the My Good Woman podcast and I'm so excited to have you here.

Nika Stewart: I'm buzzing with excitement. I'm thrilled and honored.

Dawn Andrews: You guys! Let me just tell you, Nika, just came out with her book called Actually I Can, rewriting the rules of resilience. And we're going to unpack some emotional, fun, amazing, cool stuff today, specifically around the journey that Nika has been through and how it can relate to your choices, your attitude, your approach to your business, to your brand so thank you for coming and spending time with me to share more about those topics.

Nika Stewart: My absolute pleasure. I love sharing on this topic of resilience and the fact that it is all our choice. So when we remember that we can make better choices. 

Dawn Andrews: Well, I mean, let's just dive in your book is clearly a testament to resilience, it's in the title. So tell me a little bit about your brand identity and then how your personal story has helped shape that brand identity.

Nika Stewart: Okay. Well, thank you. So, I've been in business and entrepreneur online for decades. And my brand has always been to help other people shine as their unique, brilliant selves. And my personal brand has always had joy and positivity in it. I'm really an optimist. I look on the bright side and I thought that what I was doing was kind of a secret, like when things got tough, when things went wrong, my thought was we can focus on the negative, but there's always some gem inside of every negative thing or every challenge or every obstacle.

There's something that we can find that actually makes life better. And so that's how I always lived my life and wanted to share that with the world, but always thought that I didn't have any credibility because, my life was good. So who am I to tell other people how to live?

You know, I have this great attitude because my life is good. Even though I thought it was the other way around. I really believed if you have a better attitude, you have a better life, but I never felt credible to share that with the world. And then the most amazing thing happened in 2020, I was diagnosed with cancer. 

And so that gave me the best opportunity to share this philosophy on how to rewrite the rules on adversity and resilience. And so I used my philosophy that I always used with like, Oh, I stubbed my toe or Oh, business is getting tough. The same philosophy works with I have cancer and I have to deal with this situation.

And I got to prove that that's true, that it does work with everything. And so, yeah, I'm happy to talk about how, when we choose a different story, different words, different thoughts, then we can actually have a better attitude and that leads to better results in life and in business.

Dawn Andrews: It's such an incredible start to the conversation to begin with, but what you're saying is that you already had a business and were living your life in a joyful, upbeat way, cancer crashed into it, and you still chose to continue your life the way that you were living it, from a mental, emotional perspective. You chose to face your adversity in a particular kind of way.

Nika Stewart: Yeah. So there are a few things. Number one, I felt like I had this incredible opportunity to prove to myself that I could get through something challenging still with a more positive attitude. And I am not saying that every day was great and I was happy all the time. What I'm saying is that shifting the perspective that we are taught, like this is tough.

So take time to like hide under your covers for a few months and heal. Yes, and I also don't have to hide. I actually can choose a different story and while going through difficult days and difficult months and surgeries and procedures and medication and all of that, that tries to get you down. I could be down and up at the same time, like I could, and laughter can actually heal you.

And also another thing you said is, yes, I was in business and feeling joyful, mostly, basically, but I was also doing things the way I was taught. By the business gurus and trying to get out there and be a leader and be perfect and show up as a perfect leader so that I could be credible during cancer and the changes in my appearance and how I felt physically.

I couldn't show up perfect. So if I wanted to continue to lead and run a business and get more clients, if I wanted to continue that during this challenging time, I had to show up imperfectly. And I learned that that is so much better. You actually can be more credible when you are real and authentic and imperfectly perfect.

And that taught me a lot. And I love sharing that as well. Like be imperfect, be the real you, which is perfect while you are imperfect. And that will connect with people quicker.

Dawn Andrews: Well, and you've certainly proven that. Let's just back it up a couple of steps, share with us about your business. What is it that you do? What is your business about? Because I think that everything that we've already started to unpack a little bit will be even more meaningful in concert with that information.

Nika Stewart: Yeah, I run a digital marketing agency. We help entrepreneurs and small businesses grow their visibility online on social media. And we help with writing content, creating graphics and videos and content to get you out there in front of the right people. And I always did the same for myself, growing my business with online content.

That's where I really learned how to put myself out there in a more imperfect way or more authentic way, vulnerable. We've helped our clients in a bigger way because I learned how to do it for myself and during my journey, I was creating content for myself, mostly to get through what I was going through and my content went viral and I reached hundreds of millions of people.

And because of that, I got obsessed with what helps a person go viral. What helps people, what helps you create content that more people want to see and share and engage with? So I started creating content around helping other people do that and now one of the biggest programs that we have in our agency is helping people go viral.

Because I learned what works and what doesn't work. It turns out that the more you try to be better, the less you're authentic and vulnerable and the less likely you go viral. So we came up with lots of great activities to help you feel more real and more you. Cause I know how weird it is that you're like a cool person in real life and then you push the record button and the -

Dawn Andrews: And all of a sudden your whole world just disappears.

Nika Stewart: Yes. So how do you actually, I find it so strange that it should be the easiest thing in the world to be yourself. Like just be yourself. Like what do you mean that that's, but it's so difficult. And so we have to learn how to be ourselves on camera because that our real self runs away and hides when the light goes on.

Dawn Andrews: So how was that, like when you think about your cancer journey to have been the person who's teaching people about that prior to your diagnosis, how did you, I mean, you may not have been able to translate that much of it during the time that you were most acutely sick, but, or, or did you, like what happened during your, diagnosis and treatment time, because I know that there are videos that went viral, like obviously big things happen. So share a little bit about that. 

Nika Stewart: Yeah for me, the running, the growing and maintaining of  my business was able to happen because of work I did for the time before I got sick. So I knew to create as a solopreneur, if your doing everything yourself, if you are sick and you can't work; work doesn't get done. And often times that's how we start but I had been in business for years and grew a team and had systems. 

And so even on days where if I had to go to chemotherapy and be there for four or five hours and then come home and be in bed for a few days, things didn't stop because there were systems and there was outsourcing.

I have employees there's a team that does the work. So certainly I was prepared in that way. But for myself, for my personal brand, there are days that I did nothing. I had to, and that's what happens when we are sick. And the days where I felt down, oftentimes, documenting the situation for me helped me feel better.

I knew that I would want to look back on what I was going through when I got through it. So I had decided I obviously I'm getting through this. And when the hard parts are over, I'm going to want to look back at what my emotions were in the stories I was telling myself and so I would pick up my phone and just record myself doing things.

Did it for myself, but then it helped me feel better. And then when the video looked funny or I found something that I thought was relatable, I would post it. And when people started responding, that fueled me and made me want to create more content that other people would respond to. So it was like a beautiful cycle or circle of me creating something that people would respond to, which would fuel me to want to come up with more content.

And it taught me so much about sharing your story and how much people can relate and people are helped. When you go through something and you share it isn't necessarily the specifics of what you're going through, but how you handle the situation that people can relate to and be inspired by and motivated by. And so again, the whole journey fueled me to want to keep sharing more and then help other people to share their stories. 

Dawn Andrews: It's so good, Nika, because what I'm hearing is that it's weird. I don't know if this is gonna sound weird, but it seems like social media and then building the community around the conversation of what was happening for you was part of your healing process. Like social media, became a member of your community, if you will, just like a family member or otherwise that was actually actively participating in your healing process.

Nika Stewart: Absolutely. Even if that sounds weird to some people. My social media community, they became friends to me. So many, obviously millions are still strangers but they did help me  in my healing because every like and comment and share and message that I got it was like a little boost to my mood, and we know that your mood and laughter and your attitude absolutely helps you physically. 

And so all of that helped me get through the tough times, but I believe also helped me heal from something that shouldn't have been in my body. It helped me get rid of it, but in a beautiful way. I felt like I wasn't fighting for like the year or two that I was going through the toughest time. I wasn't fighting. I was, it was like the community was helping me along this river of healing until I got to the end.

Dawn Andrews: For sure hearing the power of sharing to build something like in this case, not only your health, but I would imagine that it helped to build your business at a time when you couldn't necessarily be as active in it as you might have once been. What do you say to the clients that you have? Like, you're talking to me, I'm an introvert.

I mean, just full disclosure, everybody, Nika and I are in a mastermind together. So she knows how many times people have said, why don't you make a video? Aren't you sharing that? I mean, like I, it is such a resistance moment for me and especially like I find myself retreating even further when things are more challenging. So how do you coach and share these messages with people in your community that might be more on the spectrum towards the introverted end?

Nika Stewart: I will tell you something and not everyone knows me, you know me, I am the ultimate introvert and a lot of people when they see my videos will say no, because you're sharing your stuff. You're sharing intimate things. I have never seen that as affecting my introverted side in a negative way. 

Why I say I'm an introvert is when I speak with other people who aren't like my closest, like my family. I feel like I am on, I have to turn on. Like right now I am on, but I am feeling comfortable because I love you and I know you and, it's a comfortable topic for me, but still even just talking on the phone with a client or walking into a store and talking to a salesperson that is energy that it feels like extra energy to me.

And then I need to, go back and recoup and relax and be by myself, which is why it's like I just wanna sit in a corner and read a book or play on my phone and don't talk to me for an hour. I need that, even just to talk on the phone, will send me into that need for recouping. So I totally have introvert energy and yet, I like to perform, for me a lot of it is performing. 

I like to perform and you think actors, people who perform on stage and sing in bands and most people are surprised to find out that many of them are introverts. I love to perform, but I also need my downtime. I am not naturally so extroverts I have heard naturally get fueled by being in a room of a few hundred people and chatting with- 

Dawn Andrews: Oh my god, that sounds horrifying to me.

Nika Stewart: And me too, which is why I totally get it. 

Dawn Andrews: I mean, I'd love a good conference, but, you know, it's still, 

Nika Stewart: Yeah. 

Dawn Andrews: Yeah.

Nika Stewart: And we need to do it for our businesses. So we'll do it but we need to have that time to get back our energy and refresh and recoup. That being said, the cool thing about video is that you don't have to, you absolutely don't have to be an extrovert.

Dawn Andrews: Yeah.

Nika Stewart: What I see it as is more extroverts feel this fear as well. So I don't see it as introvert and extrovert in feeling that fear of getting on video. I feel it's almost a fear of rejection, a fear of not looking good enough. And I think maybe this is for you, Dawn, because you are a leader and you believe that when you create this video, that you have to appear leader.

You have to have that leader status. You have to, evoke that and you're thinking, well, what the heck am I going to say? And am I going to look ridiculous? Am I going to, am I going to ruin my reputation? And that gets us showing up trying to be that perfect leader, which never connects with other people.

And so there's actually two really good exercises that I've learned over the years that really help before I create a video. And first, of course, you need to know what the topic is, like, what are you going to talk about in this video? You need to be, you have to be prepared. 

I wouldn't say you have to rehearse because I personally feel like I'm too stiff if I rehearse the words ahead of time or I read a script. I just have to know my topic and the bullet points. If you know the topic and it's something you're comfortable talking about, know your topic. And then one thing that most of us do, this is what we're taught to do. Okay, get ready.

Get ready, think about the first line you're going to say, and okay, wait and rehearse it in my head, and then you go and you push the record button and you say, Hi everyone, my name is Nika and I'm going to talk about this topic, and it's so not you. It's, it's, I've heard it before, Adrenaline monster, it's like and it's a camera persona that comes out and you look at it and you go haaaaa it's just not me.

So the thing that I have learned to do is the opposite of prepare and record instead record and then prepare. So that looks, because by the way, when you're doing videos, you can always go out and you can go back and edit, right? You can go back and erase the first minute. So instead of preparing and thinking and then recording, instead, push the record button, and then prepare. 

Which is more like, okay, Hi, I'm Nika. I'm so excited to talk to you about this topic because it's been on my mind. So all of a sudden I just feel like myself because I thought for like all that getting ready out of the way. And now I'm ready to be me. So that's one thing that I've seen change so many people's videos is that just do the opposite. And I love when I learn that the opposite of what we're taught is better. 

Dawn Andrews: Yeah

Nika Stewart: So, rewrite the rules.

Dawn Andrews: That's always super fun right?

Nika Stewart: Yeah.

Dawn Andrews:  Love an innovation moment.

Nika Stewart: Totally.

Dawn Andrews:  I mean, well that was, I hope everybody got a great lesson out of that I certainly did. Like, and get ready cause now there's a bunch of videos coming your way, because unlocked it for me, thank you so much. So tell me what is your goal with this book at this moment? Because you've had an existing business, you've had, I mean your credentials and sort of street cred in the social media space is well established. So why this book? Why now?

Nika Stewart: Yeah, so when my videos about my journey were going viral and people were saying, you know you're inspiring me, I'm learning to think about obstacles differently, I kind of felt like, you know what this need to be a book. 

Number one because it can solidify the message that I was putting out into the world and I could reach more and different people, who didn't see the video or videos. And, I just felt like this was the time to share this message in a bigger and different way. And so I put my story along with all the messages of positivity and laughter and shifting your story, telling yourself different stories, because we have a choice of how we think about any situation. 

The situation that happens. I have a cancer diagnosis. A client quits. I stubbed my toe. It's raining outside. We have no control over those things, but we have 100 percent control over the thoughts we think about those things. And that leads to emotions, they evoke different emotions, which encourage actions, which leads to results that we have complete control over.

So we get to choose our thoughts and our feelings and our actions. And so that's what this story, the book is about showing this all through my story, from diagnosis through getting through it, and my goal is to rewrite the rules like I just said. Most of the things that I was taught went out the window, they did not work for me. Certain things that I learned, like, oh, you have this diagnosis, here's the path. 

Everyone, as soon as they get a cancer diagnosis, I realized, is picked up and put on this conveyor belt, you go through, this is what you'll feel. This is what you should do to get support. This is where you'll go next. I jumped off that conveyor belt and just went into like this jungle of the unknown and did my own thing. And thank God I did because it healed me and helped me get through it. The conveyor belt of what you're supposed to do didn't work for me. So if that doesn't work for you, here's a book with, alternative ideas for you.

Dawn Andrews: Yeah and well now, just to be clear, not just if you have a cancer diagnosis, like the book is wonderful, by the way, I'm really enjoying reading it. So thank you for creating it. And it's not, it isn't just about if you're sick and fighting a diagnosis, whatever the diagnosis is, it is there and there is wisdom there for you.

If you're a business owner, there's wisdom there for you. If you're a parent, like there's so many, um, beautiful takeaways in it. And I'm curious, what role did writing this book play in where you are in your business right now? You obviously had had it for a while. There's always growing and scaling that is happening. You had your foundations in place. Oops, this is happening now. So what role has, this had in the development of your business?

Nika Stewart: There are a few things. Number one, I have learned in the short time that I have been a published author that having a book is a door opener. There are places I've gone even just in the last few weeks and mentioned that I have a book. And the, attitude is different towards me, like if I was going to sell something and I'm going to make an offer, people are often on the defensive. 

But as soon as I say I have a book, people seem to be like, Oh, tell me more. Oh, would you like to do a talk here? Like it, it just selling has become easier. So that's one thing that I have found, which I had heard, but it's, a beautiful side effect of having the book that it is a door opener and a credibility booster. 

Now my book is not about my business. So it's a little, it's different for me because I've always been selling business boosting, help coaching, and done for you and a new agency things to help other businesses grow. My book is not specifically how to grow your business. Although, like you said, I believe the philosophies and the techniques that you learn in the book will help you grow your business, but the book is not a business book.

It's more of a personal transformation, self help book. And for entrepreneurs, of course, that helps you grow your business as well. Yeah, but I am loving the sharing of this, just the whole philosophy of I guess it's, I love sharing it. And so I love the opportunity to share this idea, even for people who aren't growing a business.

Although that has been, that's my audience in business, but I'm opened up to a whole new audience now, and I have so many ideas and even people requesting for me to come out with new programs and products to help in new, different ways that I haven't shared before. So it's expanded my mind to how I can help people in the world.

Dawn Andrews: But what I'm really appreciating is, you know, the listeners here are female founders or women that are interested in starting businesses. And what I'm really appreciating about what you shared is that you've made space for the fullness and wholeness of yourself as you've continued to grow your business.

So who you were when you started your business, your personality, identity, you know, however you approached it was what it was when you started it. And this is a next iteration of that. And I'm calling this out because I want female founders to understand that what their business is and who they are in their business today is not a fixed point.

It'll continue to grow. And, in you sharing your stories, you've allowed both the growth of your business and the growth of yourself to walk hand in hand with each other as you've progressed. Whereas I think some people may have concern that, well, this is my product or my service. Like, this is what it's always been.

We just got to figure out how to sell more of it. And, sometimes you hit walls with sales and things are not coming in. But if you can allow, the authenticity, the vulnerability, the realness of you and where you are in your business to come into the conversation a little bit. There's the possibility for growth that you couldn't have even foreseen.

Nika Stewart: Yeah, and what you're saying here is part of the definition of resilience. You know, if we're so stuck on being inflexible, because we have a goal and an objective, and we just focus on that, things will happen and we need to bend in the wind and move in different directions if it's right for our business.

So I love that you said that knowing that, that our business won't be where it is now in a few years and that we can change and shift and remain the same, like stay true to your values, but who you are as a business person will shift. And the great thing is knowing that allows you to start like it's time to launch.

We all think, wait, we need to be perfect and know exactly where we're going to be before we start. We can't know that. So until you start, so, so it's time to start. So this is your permission. You are ready. Whatever you've been holding onto waiting a new product and going in a different direction, launching your business to start. You are ready right now. This is your permission. Go do it now.

Dawn Andrews: Permission received. Thank you very much.

Nika Stewart: Yay.

Dawn Andrews: Well, so as you're, going through this transition into this, look, it's not a new topic area for you. This conversation about resilience is one that you have walked through in your whole life. You just brought it all together and crystallized it and now have put it into a book to be able to share it.

But there's got to be those moments, put yourself in the business owner's shoes of I've done this business this whole time, this whole way. And now this new thing is coming through me, this new message. How did you dance with that? Resolve that? 

Like, that's a pocket, a transitional moment that now is starting to come together. And I can see the synthesis of all the different parts of you and your business and this new message. But there was definitely like that, you know, time in the cocoon before you started to pop out as a butterfly. What was that time like, and how did you use your tools to support yourself?

Nika Stewart: Yeah, I love the question. What I've noticed is if I struggle too long, trying to figure out something like that, I need to share it with other people because talking things out, especially with other like minded people, other business owners or people who can just understand something that you're going through or just creative people, once you speak it out loud, even to one other person and you can brainstorm and mastermind so many ideas come out.

I have always needed a group of people I could run to, you know, friends, family, business coach, business mastermind groups. I always have at least one or two of them in my pocket. Because we can't, I mean, yes, sitting and I'll sit meditate and think and in my sleep when I wake up in the middle of the night, I try to brainstorm ideas and figure out how to synthesize different things together.

But if I struggle too long on my own, it always speeds up the process when I share it with other people and have other people support me. I love doing that for other people. I just think it's necessary. We can't do this alone. We need other people's minds and creativity to help us grow quicker.

Dawn Andrews: Now that you are through this point, the book is out. What's possible? What do you want next? What do you want for yourself? What do you want for your business? What do you want for the rest of us out here?

Nika Stewart: Yeah, I mean, I feel like I am personally on a mission to rewrite the rules of resilience in all different ways and not specifically on illness and cancer. It's really honestly about resilience in general. And I have always been an entrepreneur so the entrepreneurial world is my passion.

It's where I understand things and I want entrepreneurs to know it's not about being more brave. It's about feeling the fear and rewriting the story around it. I want to shift the mindsets of entrepreneurs, but I also love the idea that this works for everyone. I'm on a mission to rewrite the rules, I just it in life again, like a chair is a chair for sitting on, or you could put it on your wall and make it a piece of art.

Like, I don't want what we're taught to be like, all the rules are made up. So why not write your own. And when, comes to getting through obstacles, why not turn them into opportunities, because no one said, I mean, if someone said it can't be done, that's their own rule. Write your own rules.

Dawn Andrews: Well, I was going to ask you, like, the question that I always ask my people at the end of the show, but I think we've already previewed the answer. So we'll come back to it. But I know we're going to come back to that question, but I think you already answered it. And if not, I'm going to pull that out as a great quote anyway. So tell me about fight or flight and your strategies for embracing surprises, because as a business person, the only thing you can count on is that there are going to be surprises.

Nika Stewart: Yeah.

Dawn Andrews: It's just that simple. If you choose to run a business or, in living life, honestly, but focused on business.

Nika Stewart: Yeah, of course. And, the difference between someone who fails in business and someone who succeeds is not that the person who succeeded didn't have obstacles. It's that they chose to overcome them or roll with them or turn them into opportunities. So yes, no matter what, we will face challenges and obstacles and surprises and my philosophy on it is, and I realized the words around this when I was doing a live stream talking about my journey and someone typed in the comments, you're such a fighter. You know, you fight this, you beat cancer, you're a warrior. 

And I, that my immediate thought was, I don't think I ever felt like I was fighting. The typical thing that people say is fight it, you can beat this. And I realized I was never thinking that way. I realized that what I do is, and I'm certainly not perfect at this, but I realized that this works when I focus on it is we can fight something or we can accept it, or we can embrace it. So, typically some challenge happens and our immediate instinct is to fight it. 

And I remember a high school acting teacher saying, I believe it was Akito, a martial art form, when someone goes to punch you, if you fight back, the person who's punching just will get stronger and push harder and you'll be pushing and you'll both be pushing harder and harder. Nobody wins. The enemy gets stronger when you go to fight it. But if you accept it, it kind of loses its power.

But then there's another level. So you can accept the challenge or you can actually embrace it. Like, welcome this challenge. It's difficult. It's certainly not something we're taught to do. Like, can you actually be grateful for this negative thing that has just happened? And if you can figure out a way, and there are ways, like look for the gem in it.

Is there a silver lining? Is there a reason that today is better because this happened versus it didn't happen? Like, what is that? If I have to search for it, what is the answer to why this is good? And if you can, you can start getting more creative and actually turn obstacles into opportunities, not just like to say it to be trite, but actually be like, my life is better this thing that most people would say is terrible, I actually welcome it. So that's my philosophy about fight or flight. it's really none of neither.  

Dawn Andrews: Yeah. 

Nika Stewart: It's accept and then embrace.

Dawn Andrews: Is there a recent moment that might have been fight or flight for you? You know, could be a business moment. What I wanted to do is help illustrate for people what it looks like in real life. You know, when the whack a mole moment pops up, the moles popped out of the hole and now you have to deal with that surprise.

Is there a moment you can think of recently and what does that look like in real life? And I know a lot of this is happening in one's mindset, but there's also the real life stuff that happens as they're the result of how you're viewing your situation.

Nika Stewart: Yeah, and so in my mind, of course, is going to all the things that I had written in the book about health things that happen and how I went from fighting to accepting to embracing, but to relate it to business, trying to think of something that can be relatable that happened, let's say, like putting out a lot of offers, for example, or let's say, okay, so I put out a leveraged way to offer something.

I'm going to, I plan a very big masterclass and I invite hundreds of people. And then let's say, and, and certainly this has happened. And so I put out a masterclass and I don't get any sales. And so that is certainly not wanted, and what I know that I have done in the past is typically, you know, be upset about it.

Think my thought my story can be, I guess nobody wants what I offer. I am not good enough. I am not expert enough. No one's attracted to what I have to say. That's what I think our minds typically want to go to, and I certainly have done that. But there's also times, like recently I put something out, it didn't get sales, and I thought, what is the lesson here?

So why is it actually good that no one purchased this? What it taught me then was that this is actually something that I realize I've been fighting myself, hearing that I should be putting this out when really I wanted to do something else. So what an amazing thing that no one bought it because then I would have been miserable for the next year having to deliver this thing that I didn't really want.

I now have all of these hours free to build the thing I really want to build. And that is launching soon now too. So how, I mean, I, I have to look for the, but then actually act on it. So if I say, Oh yeah, that's a good thing. It has to lead to motivation to actually put in the time to build the thing I'm wanting to build now. And so when I do that, things work out very well.

Dawn Andrews: I love it. I love it. So Nika we were at our mastermind this past weekend and in celebration of the launch of your book, we went back and you shared sort of one of the videos that kind of kicked it all off, one of your first viral videos and then the callback that you did. So would you share, can you describe that video to the listener? 

Nika Stewart: Yeah, it was, the first that I realized that I could actually find humor in what I was going through. I had had long, thick, wavy hair and I was used to for, you know, I always thought it was part of my identity to have this big hair. And so when I lost it, of course it was, a shift in identity, but for the first week or so, I kept like I had muscle memory.

I kept doing things with my hand go to touch my hair or to put it out of my face or to put it behind my ear and then realize, Oh, I don't have hair there. So at first it was kind of weird, you know, you, you go to touch something and it's not there, but after a few times of doing that, I thought this is kind of funny.

I wonder what else I'm doing. And I wonder if it would be funny to put them all these different situations into a video. And so I started by creating a video of like things that I still do. Because I forgot I'm bald or I forgot I lost my hair and I put three of them together like I put on a shirt and I went to lift my hair out of the back of my shirt.

Oh, and I have no hair. You know, I go to grab a headband because I'm about to wash my face and I realized I don't have hair to hold back from my face. So I put those together in a video and put it out thinking, that it wasn't very relatable because how many people in the world have really just lost their hair and forgot.

But it turns out that people really appreciated a few things. Number one, it reminded people of other things that they do from muscle memory, like looking to put on your glasses, but they're actually already on. Or walking around talking on the phone going, ah, I can't leave the house because I have to find my phone. And the person on the phone says, you're talking on your phone. Oh, it's in my hand. So like we always do things without, 

Dawn Andrews: How were living our lives unconsciously. Yes.

Nika Stewart: Right, exactly. So it's, so apparently millions of people were related to that in that way. They all commented about that, but it also showed people that, and showed me that I could find the funny in a situation that our instinct is to be sad.

Like I keep reaching for my hair and it's not there. That could make me really sad. And of course, you know, I do, I miss my hair, but this is funny. Why don't I focus on the funny? And it helped me look for more of that. And so since that video did well, I did part two, part three, part four, like, and I just looked for funny things in my life and that became a goal.

And because it was a goal to find funny, I laughed every day. You know, and in fact, when I was going for like my least favorite chemo treatment, this certain drug that made me feel the worst, I would go on Facebook and say, I'm about to get my least favorite drug, tell me a joke. And I would have jokes to look at like during. So I always was laughing and I know that humor helps. It helps your emotions. It helps your physical body heal quicker and easier. So I don't even remember your question, but I, I just, my goal is

Dawn Andrews: I wanted you to share the story of the video because I feel like there are lessons for business owners in there about humor and sharing and fostering a community and a culture inside your business. And for you, you had your team, you needed to step away to go take care of your diagnosis and to heal.

And these videos, like even if you're not directly working with your team, it was an opportunity to create some levity and a little bit of lightness with the people that are still working for you. Like it's a culture builder just in and of itself.

Nika Stewart: Yeah. I mean, I know your personal, when you have a team, you still have a personal brand and that will affect the culture. And just my videos probably isn't enough to affect our whole culture, but when we have team meetings, we always add joy and laughter and tell jokes. Like that's part of our company culture.

And I do believe that that, you know, there's so much, stress and people working. And when you can add humor, levity, laughter, that absolutely helps the culture. It helps people enjoy their jobs more, which means they'll stay longer, do a better job. I mean, I don't think everyone should have my personal brand, but I do, I would suggest humor as part of your culture. I think it definitely helps.

Dawn Andrews: It for sure does. Okay. So my next question, I got a couple more questions for you, but this next one's a little bit of like, Ooh, we just made a hard, right. You know, on the, we've been traveling on the road, now we're making a hard right. I'm curious for you, what is behind the scenes for you that knits all this together, that helps keep your business going and helps keep you going?

You know, what are tools that you use or what are some of the core systems? It's like that system, if that wasn't in place, it's kind of the backbone of what we do. Are there any things like that that you can share for the other business owners that are listening?

Nika Stewart: Yeah, I do believe that, systems are extremely important, even if you're a solopreneur, because it saves time and stress and that will help you get through any day, so it helps you get through challenges because you have a system to follow. Because there's so many days that we as business owners will be like, what do I do now? Like, what should I do? 

Follow the system when you have a system and a schedule, it does not mean you can't be flexible. In fact, it means you can be more flexible because you have a system to fall back on. And everyone's systems will be different depending on your industry and your goals. But when you do something more than once, write down the steps, even if it's just you.

Like I know every morning when I open my email type this out, I'm supposed to look for the, like, I, it's all in my head. Write it out anyway and have a system because when you get stressed, when obstacles come up, our brain is not, I learned this, I thought it was the coolest thing. Our brains are meant to be creative and come up with ideas, but it is not efficient as a keeper of the organizational systems.

It's not the most effective as the organizer and the system, the place to keep things, get creative with your brain and then take it out of your brain and put it down somewhere because when the obstacles come up, then you just go, Oh, if I follow this, things will continue in the right direction.

I know there, I mean, there are days where I'll just, you know, if I forget, I have a system. I'm like, why can't I remember it? Oh, yeah, it's, it's written down somewhere and it's written, it's given to the team. And then of course, when you want to scale and grow, someone else can follow the system because it's not just in your head.

It is now documented for other people. And then as you grow, someone else on your team can teach someone else the system. So it definitely helps with leverage, with scale, and helps you with stress and getting through obstacles.

Dawn Andrews: Love it. Is there one system? I'm sure there are multiples, multitudes in your business, but is there one that you're like, this is my favorite one right now?

Nika Stewart: I have one that I call Daily Diamonds, and the reason I named it that is because when I was systemizing this for myself, Microsoft Word, for some reason, there was a glitch and I couldn't get the check boxes and the only boxes there were diamonds. So I was like, that's a good checkbox for me. And I looked at it one day and I'm like, these are my diamonds.

These are the things that I need to do every day. And they keep me on track. And even when I'm not growing, it helps me feel like I'm maintaining and organized and they're the things that I personally like to do even before I get out of bed. This is not for everyone because some people don't like to take work to bed and I totally get it, but this works for me before I even roll out of bed.

If I open my phone and do five things, and there are things that have to do with marketing, either a sending an email or posting on Facebook or reaching out replying to someone, they're just my daily marketing and visibility items. And if I do nothing else, people still will say to me, I see you everywhere. It keeps you visible so I would say, yeah, a visibility checklist, create that for yourself.

Dawn Andrews: Okay. I love it. Last question for you, imagine yourself in Times Square with all the sparkly billboards and the largest one is for you to share a message with other female founders. What message would you share with them?

Nika Stewart: I think I'm going to say what I said earlier, which is all of the rules are made up. So why not write your own?

Dawn Andrews: Love it. See, I knew you, I knew it. I knew you already answered the question. I knew it. And it's the best answer and I couldn't agree more. Wholeheartedly.

Nika Stewart: Yay. And that's why we are entrepreneurs and running our own thing, because we get to write our own rules. So do it. 

Dawn Andrews: Amen, sister. For sure. Well Nika, where can everybody find you? 

Nika Stewart: I am on all the socials under my name, Nika Stewart or Nika Stewart Shine, which is my brand, which is Shine. And make sure you grab, Actually I Can, the book and any bookstore online, Amazon, Apple, bookstores everywhere. Go grab yourself a copy and add more joy and laughter to your life.

Dawn Andrews: Please do, and I'm telling you, you will, I'm having the best time reading the book. So go pick up a copy now. Nika, thanks for being here today. I'm so glad that we got a chance to break down your, unconventional rules of resilience and especially to get little peek into your, philosophy and thought process, because that's one of those things that I think when we're in our businesses and we're working really hard, we don't take the time just to reflect to see how we're thinking that is driving our actions and then our results. And sometimes going back to that step can be the game changing moment. So thank you for being here to help make us present to it.

Nika Stewart: Ah, my absolute pleasure. Thank you.

Dawn Andrews: You're amazing. Okay. Talk soon. Mwah. 

And that's a wrap on today's episode my fabulous female leaders. I hope you're just as excited as I am about what's coming next with she's that founder. The journey we've been on together has been incredible. And I know the next phase is going to take things to a whole new level. Remember this break is just a pause, not a goodbye while we gear up for she's that founder, don't forget to join the mailing list at danandrews.com forward slash mailing list. So you'll be the first to know when we're back. 

You'll get all the exclusive sneak, peeks bonuses and behind the scenes magic along the way. Thank you so much for being with me on this journey and trust me when I say, She's that founder will be worth the wait until then keep building, keep leading, keep the momentum going, and I'll see you on the other side, ready to conquer those next level challenges together. See you soon.