130: When You Still Make Milk But Don’t Have a Baby

In this raw and important conversation, I sit down with Amber Ginn from The Latch Link—a virtual lactation practice that helps moms navigate feeding in all its forms. Amber shares her journey from teen mom to IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant), and how her early breastfeeding experience lit a fire to support other moms—especially those facing challenges.

But we’re not just talking about the typical feeding journey. We’re talking about what happens when you leave the hospital without your baby—and your milk still comes in.

We cover the brutal, often silent part of postpartum grief: the physical pain and emotional toll of breast milk after baby loss. Amber walks us through what’s normal, what’s not, and how to care for your breasts gently and safely. Whether you’re choosing to suppress your milk, considering donation, or just trying to survive the letdowns (literal and emotional), this episode will make you feel seen, supported, and a little less alone.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why your milk comes in even if your baby isn’t here
• What no one tells you about engorgement, pain, and mastitis after loss
• How to gently suppress lactation without hurting your body
• The truth about breast binding and what to avoid
• What to expect with clogged ducts, cracked nipples, or flu-like symptoms
• When to seek medical attention (and what to watch for)
• The emotional complexity of milk donation—and why it’s okay to say no
• How lactation consultants can support loss moms (yes, even you)

Resources Mentioned:

• Amber’s virtual practice: https://www.thelatchlink.com
  
  
• Socials: Follow @thelatchlinkwithamber on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube
• Text “LATCH” to  724-885-2824

https://navigatingbabyloss.com/workshop

Free workshop for moms grieving stillbirth or pregnancy loss. Learn simple, trauma-informed practices to release guilt, calm the what-ifs, and honor your baby's memory with love instead of pain. Includes bonus Grief & Guilt Release Journal.

Download my FREE "Guilt and Grief Release Journal" at navigatingbabyloss.com/journal

WHERE TO FIND AND FOLLOW ME!

• Website-  https://www.jennifersenn.com
• Tik Tok-https://www.tiktok.com/@navigatingbabyloss
• Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/navigatingbabyloss/
• You Tube-https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz-2MCEY5PRiF6p6VB_2lxA

Transcript

Amber Ginn is here from the Latch link. A virtual online practice helping moms with their breastfeeding journey. Welcome, Amber. I'm so excited you're here with me today. Thank you so much for having me.

I'm super excited. Good. If you can just tell us what made you decide to get into breastfeeding consulting? Yeah, so I will keep it a, a brief version of the story. So I had my first kid, I have two boys. My oldest is now, um, he'll be 18 this year. My youngest is 11. I had my first kiddo when I was two weeks shy of 16 years old.

I've always been a very big researcher and I like to. Be in control of things as best I can. And all moms know birth is one of those areas where you just have to let go and let God, 'cause it's just gonna go the way it's gonna go. And, um, I was really prepared for my birth, but it went really sideways.

Um, and I was really Hellen on being able to at least provide breast milk to him. And so I, um. Was doing whatever I could to get that going. I ended up going to the WIC office and getting help from a breastfeeding peer counselor, it was just so helpful to me. I was able to get a big pump, the pumps back in the day looked like a boombox.

And so I got that and I was able to, learn how to latch him. I was able to have the pump for when I went back to school. It was so meaningful to me to see that I could face something really hard and feel like I was. Set up to fail then get support and information and actually achieve what I wanted.

Not only did it help me as a mom, but it showed me that with access to information and support, you can do anything. That's what led me to want to provide that same level of care information and support to moms and led me to create the lunch link.

Oh my gosh. I love it. I actually was a WIC peer counselor, breastfeeding counselor back in the day. That's so cool. I also, breastfed all three of mine until they were a year old it was, one of my favorite things, but I definitely think it's not breastfeeding come, it's, they say it comes naturally, but it is, it is.

Work. You have to really make sure this is what you wanna do and be committed it can be tricky for a lot of moms. We always tell moms like, understanding your why behind your feeding goals is so important.

I mean, we do that all across the board, but especially with birth and breastfeeding, we make choices that we just feel like we're supposed to do and then that's not gonna carry you through the long nights if you're just doing something. 'cause you think you're supposed to. You have to really want it.

That doesn't work at 3:00 AM when you have a screaming baby. So tell me about the latch link. Yeah, sure. So we are a nationwide virtual practice, supporting moms with all things infant feeding. So obviously I'm a lactation consultant. All of our providers are lactation consultants, but we are supportive of moms no matter how they feed their babies.

So if you have a baby and it needs to eat, we're here for you. We offer care that is typically covered by insurance. We accept most of the big guys. So your care is usually completely free. If not our self pay is way below market, average because we want that to be really, accessible and typically depending on the day we have, same day availability.

'cause we have a pretty big team and booking an appointment takes less than five minutes, so you can go from confused to appointments and literally less than five minutes, which is so great. Oh my gosh, that's so, so great. That would've been so amazing back in the day. For sure. I know. Same. Yes. Well, I love that you took and took what you needed and made and made it happen.

That's amazing. So with all of this knowledge and experience, certainly you have come across moms who have had a loss as a loss mom, one of the biggest maybe. I don't know if, it was shocking to me that you still produce milk even though you don't have a live baby. I thought today we could talk about breast care because that is one thing that our doctors don't talk about.

They're just trying to. Give us hints to make it stop. I mean, I did the cabbage leave thing, which I guess helped, but are there, what are the ways lost Moms can help if they want their milk to stop coming in? Yeah. Yeah. So I think, yeah, we definitely have had a lot of moms where that was one of the most brutal reminders after the fact like, this milk is still here and it won't go away.

God help you if you end up having mastitis. We've even had moms who've had complications from their breasts and it's just, we don't want that happening at all. So definitely understanding that you have options. So. I would say for most moms, just not stimulating the breast is a good idea.

That's a good place to start. If you do have engorgement or other things though, it's okay to do that. To get a little bit of the, pressure down. There are medications you can take, you can definitely talk with your doctor about that. Disclaimer, obviously not medical advice, just sharing information that you could easily find on the internet, but, um, some moms decide to take something like p Sudafed because it does have a really good, affinity for drawing up milk.

Obviously everyone should talk to a doctor and decide if that's a good option, but if you. Can't really get access to something else that's something some mothers do research and decide to do. Otherwise we don't wanna do anything crazy. We don't wanna be like binding the breast down or like, you know, avoiding, like, if we feel really engorged, we don't need to like, avoid any stimulation.

We just don't wanna be pumping regularly if our goal is to get rid of the milk. So I would say just, you know, leaving things alone as best you can, but staying comfortable. If you are engorged and you need to remove a bit of milk, that's totally okay. Typically if you were pumping every couple of hours for five or 10 minutes just to relieve engorgement.

You could go longer in between pumps and make those pumps shorter and phase them out across time. That's usually enough to keep the pressure down, but also keep the stimulation down. The way our breast work is we have like feedback inhibitor of lactation protein in our breasts.

The more milk we have in our breasts, it's gonna tell our bodies to make less milk. But we wanna do that while being comfortable. If you were to get a clogged ducked or have anything like that going on, you know, definitely still reach out. Lactation consultants are trained and all of the, all of the things of, for all of the moms.

And so we're happy to support, you know, anybody with whatever it is they're, they're navigating. I forgot about the binding. I think someone did want me to do that and I forgot about that. It's just not comfortable and you're so emotional. When you are crying a lot too, you sometimes get the milk let down.

Yep. It just seems like it's a messy. Cluster of emotions and frustration for so many lost moms. How do you know if something's going wrong? Like if you are getting mastitis or clogged ducks? Yeah, so we've had several moms who come to us and they're like, I'm not sure what I wanna do.

Like, I think I wanna pump for a bit and then I might wanna donate milk. I might wanna not. So if you are one of those moms and you're like, I just wanna see what's happening, that's also an option as well. I would say if you're noticing cracks in your nipples, because even using pumps, if you're using the wrong flange size.

Then you can, definitely do some damage to the nipple. So if you're using a pump to get some milk out, make sure you're using the right flange size. But I would say definitely keeping an eye out on pain. So if we're having cracked nipples and things like that, that's a different issue. But if we're having things more deep in the breast where we're having knots, um, heat. Pain sharp, shooting pain. Like if you were to touch your breasts and it's like really, really tender.

We wanna keep an eye on that. When we are trying to swiftly get rid of milk, we might be willing to deal with a little bit more discomfort than we would if we were trying to keep our milk, supply going across time. But anything like body aches, chills, fever, anything like that needs to be looked at immediately.

So if you start to feel like. In addition to everything else else going on that you have the flu, you wanna talk to a doctor asap, we don't wanna mess around with that because if we let things run too long, we can get damage to our milk ducks and then for subsequent pregnancies and, and navigating, you know, breastfeeding down the line, it, we don't wanna, have any damage.

So we do wanna address it best we can. I know it's a lot going on. It can be easy to let things fall by the wayside, but definitely mastitis is not one of those things. So just to be clear, if you're trying to stop this breast milk from coming in, that doesn't mean in a subsequent pregnancy that you can't.

Fully breastfe your next Oh, no, no, not at all. No, not at all. Yeah. You are completely capable of shutting that system down from the jump and then getting it going next time, Totally, completely, totally fine. Yeah. Your body isn't gonna say, oh no, you didn't wanna do this one. It's not like one shot.

No. Not at all. Yeah. If, if only our bodies were so consistent, you can have a beautiful breastfeeding journey the first time. A really rough one the second time and a medium one the third time that's true. And talk about donation pumping.

Yeah. This is something that really wasn't popular at all when I was in my loss season, but it definitely has become more so now, what do you know about that? I would definitely say, don't feel obligated to donate milk if you don't want to.

Breast milk is a beautiful gift from God or whatever, however you wanna think of it. It's a beautiful thing that our bodies were designed to do, but you have no obligation to use your breast milk because you don't have a baby and someone else's. Someone elses baby needs milk.

So first and foremost, we've had moms come to us and they're like, I feel really guilty if I don't donate it. You don't owe anybody anything. Beyond that, if you feel really good about donating, it is a beautiful thing to do, but it is a lot of work. Pumping all the time is a lot of work.

I would say same thing, making sure your flange sizes fit really well, making sure you have a schedule that works for you. And understanding that if you are. Pumping milk purely to donate. You don't have to hit a certain amount of ounces per day. So you can be a lot more loosey goosey than if you were like, I have to make 26 ounces a day.

Potentially, sleeping through the night, if you can do that comfortably without it causing issues, could be okay because you're not trying to have, a certain supply every day. So there's a lot more flexibility. I would say just working with someone if you feel overwhelmed by pumping.

Is always nice, but yeah, just kind of finding what works and making sure your rests are comfortable between sessions, you have a lot more flexibility than if you were trying to produce a set amount per day it's best to work with a milk bank to do that, or what? What are your opinions on that?

Personally, I think, it depends. Milk banks are great because you can make money doing that, which is pretty cool. If you are interested in working with a milk bank for that reason, I think that's totally valid. I think peer-to-peer can be really cool too.

It really just depends. Like personally, I use donor milk with my second child because I had some supply issues yes, even IB CLCs struggle with breastfeeding. I wouldn't have been able to access a milk bank because it would've been way too expensive and it's really difficult to get that covered by insurance.

Milk banks are great too, and they typically support really ill babies who definitely need fresh milk. I would just do research and see what works. I think peer-to-peer can be really. Chill and easy but same thing, just having good boundaries.

If you feel, feel like you're donating milk, peer to peer, and that starts to feel like people aren't respecting you well feel free to change it up. You could do a little bit of both. Yeah. Whatever works. Okay, good. That's good.

What other. Things do you think moms specifically lost moms would need to know as far as breast care, breastfeeding? I would definitely say, remembering that your, your breasts are still very involved in everything that just happened, so giving them some time. I think a lot of moms think that weaning is gonna be an overnight thing and we can definitely rev it up and make it happen faster.

But I would say typically the timeline on that would probably be at least a week, if not two or three weeks. And don't be surprised if across time you find, if you give your boob a squeeze, there's still some milk there. So that can be kind of like, not so good reminder for some people if they're like, oh, there's still milk coming out.

That's normal. That's not anything going wrong. Typically, for most moms who breastfed, as you probably know, you can squeeze some drops out for quite some time after you're done. So that's completely normal. Definitely still expecting some leakage after you wean, um, just in case. So if you're someone who, is gonna be out and about, maybe still wear some nipple shields.

That way you don't have any, letdowns or drips happen I would definitely, think about that. Remembering that if you didn't get a breast pump before your baby arrives, you still can get one through insurance.

Either way you can still get a breast pump if you need it. And just not to, you know, not to let that have you, feel like you can't reach out to a lactation consultant because most of us are trained, in some level of like perinatal mental health, grief counseling, et cetera.

We have experienced supporting moms. So definitely don't be afraid to reach out to someone. No one's gonna judge you or give you any kind of flack for where you are. That's great to know too that, that you're available no matter the situation, whatever the need is, they can reach out to you.

Well, thank you so much. This was so helpful. There's not enough information about how to deal with this after your baby's born, and it is that punch in the gut that you don't even think about as you're, yeah, getting the news of your loss.

You don't think, oh my gosh, now I'm gonna have to go home and do this too. Right? Yeah, definitely. The human body is so amazing except for giving that signal to your brain that you don't need the help. Yeah. So for sure, it's sometimes really hard, but, okay, so where can people find out more about you and the Latch link and get in touch with you?

So we are on all, major social media platforms. YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, we are the latch link with Amber. Our website is www.thelatchlink.com. You can like text the word latch to a specific phone number and we'll send you all the info that you need for setting up an appointment.

Perfect. That sounds amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so glad you are here and serving the moms that you do, it's. Such important work and I love the crocheted boobs behind you. Oh, thank you. Yes. I have no shortage of boob things all, all around, all the time.

And I love that your children are almost teenage boys. Oh yeah. It's gotta be interesting in your house. Yeah. Yeah. They're, they think it's funny. At least That's good. It's gotta make for an interesting house. Oh yeah. Alright, well thank you Amber. Take care. Thank you.