The Rising Beyond Podcast
If you're trying to protect your children while navigating an abusive ex, this podcast is for you. Because leaving the relationship didn't end the abuse, and no one prepared you for what came next.
The Rising Beyond Podcast is for protective mothers navigating the overwhelming reality of sharing children with someone who continues patterns of manipulation, coercive control, or emotional abuse after separation. Join Sybil Cummin, licensed professional counselor, who has spent the last decade helping survivors and their children navigate this incredibly difficult chapter. Every week, we share trauma-informed education, nervous system insights, protective parenting strategies, and honest conversations about family court, post-separation abuse, and healing, so you can feel more confident, more grounded, and better equipped to protect both your children and yourself.
Whether you're in the middle of family court, struggling with parenting alongside someone who continues patterns of control, or simply trying to become the parent you want to be after everything you've survived, you'll find validation, practical guidance, and hope here.
The Rising Beyond Podcast
Ep 141: The Shame Was Never Yours: Healing from Vicarious Shame After Abuse
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Even though you’ve left the relationship, do you still feel embarrassed when you remember the way your ex treated others? Do you find yourself cringing at memories of their public outbursts, apologizing for their past behavior, or worrying that others judge you because of them?
This lingering sense of responsibility is called vicarious shame—when you feel embarrassed on behalf of someone else’s actions, even though you weren’t the one who did anything wrong.
In this episode, we explore:
✔️ Why vicarious shame lingers long after leaving an abuser
✔️ How abusers used it to manipulate and control you
✔️ The emotional toll of feeling responsible for someone else’s behavior
✔️ Steps to stop carrying their shame and fully step into your own healing
Vicarious shame is a tool abusers rely on to keep you second-guessing yourself, isolating from support, and feeling like you need to "fix" things that were never your fault. But the truth is: You are not responsible for their actions—then or now.
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