The Rising Beyond Podcast
Are you ready to thrive as you are coming out of a toxic or abusive relationship? Join Sybil Cummin, a licensed professional counselor who has specialized in working with victims and survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse for over a decade and runs a membership community for women on their healing journey. On this podcast you will finally feel understood and your experience will be validated as you learn tangible strategies to handle family court, coparent with your abuser, improve your connection with your children, and heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence.
The Rising Beyond Podcast
Ep 206: Waiting for the Shoe to Drop: Why Survivors Stay on Edge Even When Things Are Quiet
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What if the reason you can’t relax… is because your body learned that calm never lasted and does not mean you are safe?
In this episode, I’m talking about something so many survivors experience after coercive control and domestic violence: feeling constantly on edge, even when nothing is actively happening. The messages stop. The house is quiet. Things seem calm. But your body still feels like it’s bracing for impact.
We explore why survivors often struggle to feel safe even after separation, how trauma and unpredictability train the nervous system to stay hypervigilant, and why this is not a character flaw or “loving drama.” It’s survival.
I also break down the difference between being safe and feeling safe, the role of the nervous system and amygdala in trauma responses, and why healing has to include more than just insight or positive thinking.
Most importantly, we talk about “felt safety” — those moments where your body starts to believe you might actually be okay — and how building those moments can change the way you parent, communicate, respond to stress, and begin healing after abuse.
In This Episode We Discuss:
- Why survivors feel anxious even during calm moments
- Hypervigilance and the nervous system after abuse
- The impact of unpredictability in coercive control
- Why healing is not just cognitive
- Felt safety and nervous system regulation
- How trauma responses impact parenting
- Practical grounding and regulation strategies
- The difference between being safe and feeling safe
If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I just relax?” this episode is for you.
Nervous System episodes:
Ep 150: Post-Separation Abuse Burnout: A Nervous System Perspective https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/17103086
Ep 11: Your Nervous System is Shot: Strategies to Move Out of Fight, Flight, and Freeze https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/11272280
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